


When Dreams do come true

by Secretfurrydragon



Series: When dreams do come true [1]
Category: Supernatural AU, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Acceptance, Almost sex scene, Anger, Angst, Donna yells at Jensen, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone supporting the Reader, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Fun, Graphic description of child abuse and violence, Happy ending., Hate, Hospital Visit, Humour, Hurt, Jared a sweetie, Jensen Hurt, Jensen a sweetie, Jensen hit by Misha, Jensen's home, Jensen's strip tease, Love, Low Self Esteem, Marriage Proposal, Mention of thinking about suicide, Misha a sweetie, Mutual Masturbation, Nervous, Nightmare, Nudity, OFC - Alex, OFC psychiatrist Daniela, OMC - Kyle, Panic Attack, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reader Hurt, Reader cuts her wrist, Reader feels overwhelmed, Reader sees Jensen erection for the first time., Supernatural Convention, Supportive Jensen, Tooth Rotting Fluff, Trust Issues, Trusting Each Other, Worried Jared, Worried Jensen, Worried Misha, almost raped/non con, attempted suicides, coarse language, cut wrist, feeling suicide, frighten, low self worth, overwhelming feelings, photos taken, previous injuries mention, scared, self hate, supportive Misha, supportive jared, talk of past child abuse, talking about sex, trust building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2018-10-28 23:49:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 190,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10842036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secretfurrydragon/pseuds/Secretfurrydragon
Summary: Reader has had a life full of abuse and basically believes she deserves no happiness or love. She has try to commit suicide and has a lot of self hate towards herself. She never been in love. By chance Jensen, Jared and Misha call her and that's where it all begins. Can they save her from herself or will she not be saved?





	1. The Call

**Author's Note:**

> This story is very heavy in places when reader talks about her past child abuse and thinks about suicide attempt. She has had a lot of trauma in her life and has never really had anyone to help or be their for her.  
> I know this would not happen in real life but I wanted this to be special from the beginning for the reader. 
> 
> So please if you have any triggers to suicide please don't read this. I do not wish to hurt you further.
> 
> This is my dream to meet Jensen, Jared and Misha. Maybe one day???
> 
> Also Danneel Ackles is not in this story. No hate on Danneel she is an amazing person so I just imagine her married to someone else and is happy. I mean no disrespect to any of Jensen, Jared's or Misha's families. This is just fan fiction and a story I wished to tell.
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own.  
> Please let me know what you think any comments appreciated. Hope you like it?

My day started like any other day I got up and showered. Got dressed and made myself some breakfast. Not that I would normally eat breakfast but today I was volunteering at the animal shelter. I loved my job as my only interactions were with the animal’s people left there.

 My home phone started ringing and I looked at the number I didn't recognise it, so I hesitated to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this Y/N Y/L/N?”

“Yes why?”

"This is Sarah Fuller. I'm calling from SPN Productions.”

“Who? If your selling something I'm not interested," I mumbled I always get these calls.

Sarah sighed on the other end of the line “I'm not selling anything.” She paused, “SPN productions we do the supernatural conventions in Australia.”

“Oh, sorry Sarah what can I do for you?”

“Well I'm been asked to track you down Mr Ackles, Mr Padalecki and Mr Collins has asked for you to attend the convention in July 2017.”

“Your shitting me, right Sarah.”

She laughed and replied "No I'm not shitting you Y/N."

“Why?”

“I wasn't told the reason I was asked to find you and make sure in attend both days as their guest.”

“This has to be some sort of prank nothing good ever happens to me.”

“I can assure this is not a prank do you need confirmation.”

“Sure."

“Hang on one moment please." I held onto my phone tight my knuckles were going white.

“Are there Y/N?”

“Yes, I'm still here."

Sarah was saying something into a line go ahead please and her line disconnected.

“Hello,” I said shyly.

There was quite, then I heard "Hello, Y/N this Jensen Ackles here," and then I heard him connect it loud speaker. “I'm here," Jared said. “She can't see you." Jensen answered. “Oh, soo sorry Jared here,” and then Misha said, “Hello, Misha here.”

“Fuck you got to be kidding me.”

Jensen said, “Fuck, no it's us.” Then I heard them all laughing.

Jared said, “We are on set of supernatural talking to you.”

“I would really love to see the set where you work. Also like to see you guys prank Misha?”

They laughed and Misha said, “I wouldn't.”

Then I laughed too.

Jared said, “Y/N do you have Face book or Twitter?”

“Yeah, Face book why?”

“Put Face book on will ya.”

I pulled Face book up on my mobile phone and I was catching the last bit of a live stream.

Then I saw Jensen say "Hi,Y/N."

I looked at them and said, “You're all crazy.” Everyone heard what I had said.

Misha said, “Yeah, that's us.”

Jensen said, “Did Sarah tell you why we wanted you to be our special guest, at the SPN convention in July.”

“Jensen,” I said as I finally realised I was talking with them live on Face book

“You alright, sweetheart?"

Jared said, “I think it's hit her we are talking with her,” with a small laugh.

Misha said after more silence, “Y/N are you there? Are you ok?” in a worry voice.

I mumbled, "I'm fine."

They all sighed with relief when they heard me speaking.

Jensen said, “Now Y/N did Sarah......?” I cut him off  “Sorry Jensen yes she did but why me?”

He replied "We have a surprise for you that's one of the reasons your attending."

I said, “And the other reason?”

Misha said, “Sorry confidential you will find out in a few weeks.”

I said, “I don't like surprises plus I've never attended a convention before I …. I stopped.

Jared said, “Well you just have to wait and see until then what your surprise is. Hey, you will enjoy yourself we will make sure of it. We will stay with you the whole time.”

“Ok, but can I ask you something?”

Jared said, “Sure anything?”

“Do get photo ops?"

Jensen said, “You will be given a VIP pass where it accesses all areas during the convention ok.”

Jared said, “Hey we have to get back to the set, but thanks for talking to us Y/N.”

I said, “No thank you."

Misha and Jensen said, “Thanks and bye.”

I said, “Before you go can I speak with you privately first.”

I saw the camera being turned off by Jared and I heard Jared said, “What's up?”

“May I ask a favour?”

“Sure sweetheart," Jensen said.

“I know this will sound weird, but I was hoping maybe getting to know you all better before the convention, so I feel comfortable with you all. I know you are a very busy people, but it would give me....... I stopped. Please will you allow me to contact you or maybe you could contact me if it's easier."

Jensen heard the crack in my voice and he knew something was happening. The whole reason they contact me in the first place was my kind words to them. Not that I knew that at the time. Jared and Misha looked at Jensen and they shook their heads yes in agreement.

Jensen said, “We all would love to keep in contact sweetheart.”

I said, “really?

They all said, “Yes” in unison.

I said, “Jensen do you have a pen I will give you my number.” All three open their phones and as I rattled it off they enter it into their phones and saved to contacts.

Jensen said, “Do you have a pen a paper I start with mine," he rattled off the number and I checked what he told me. Then Jared and Misha did the same.

I said, “Thank you for trusting me with your numbers.”

Jensen said, “No problem really we will talk soon sweetheart, bye.”

I said, “Thanks again and goodbye" to them.

I heard their goodbyes as they hung up.

 

Then Sarah came back on the line “Y/N?”

“I'm so sorry Sarah.”

“It's fine I probably wouldn't believe me either.”

“Thanks for letting me speak with them it was amazing."

“That's my job to keep the stars of the convention happy. You only have eight weeks to wait. We will send you plane tickets and hotel reservations near the venue plus a VIP pass access all areas at the convention. Can I have your address Y/N.”

“Sure, I told her what it was and thank her. I still can't believe it. Hang on do you know anything about the surprise they were talking about?"

“Thank you for your address and no sorry I don't."

“That's ok, thanks again.”

“We will be contact soon bye Y/N.”

“Bye, Sarah.”

I hung up the phone and finished my breakfast lucky I didn't volunteer for another hour. I stood there for what seemed like forever just daydreaming about meeting Jensen, Jared and Misha face to face. My mobile phone went off three different times with messages so I checked them. I opened the messages I didn't know the number I was going to ignore it but I looked. I opened it, it was from Jensen.

He said, “Hey, beautiful just texting to make sure you have my number.”

I sighed and texted back “Thanks Jensen adding you now to contacts.”

Check the next one it was Jared with a similar message and then Misha was the last one but his was a very different message. I laughed when he said, "Overlord here just giving you my number follower, so you can get in contact with the supreme being." I had to laugh so I sent the same message to Jensen and Jared, but I sent a different one to Misha as I played along.

"Hey, Overlord supreme being thank you for your number. Never know when I might need help from a superior being like you. I will add you to my contacts now oh mighty Overlord."

Misha looked at the message and laughed so hard he had tears down his face. Jensen and Jared wondering what was going on, so he showed them my answer and they to laughed.

Jared said, “Well she has a sense of humour.”

Jensen said, “Yeah but something was going on?”

Misha said, “How do you mean?”

Jensen said, “She was pleading with us didn't you here her voice crack.”

Jared said, “I heard it, but I thought she was happy that's all?”

Jensen said, “Maybe we better get back to the set or Bob going to kick our asses.”

I smiled as I did a selfie I hate doing selfies, but I thought it would be nice for them.

I sent it to each of them Jensen sent back a picture of him smiling and a message looking good beautiful. I never thought myself beautiful I always felt ugly.

Jared sent back wow your cute with an attached photo.

Misha sent a picture with raised eyebrows and a smiling with caption your Overlord.

Jensen sent me a text talk soon beautiful.

I answered, "Yep looking forward to it.”

**__ **

The next day I was volunteering when I got a call on my mobile. I saw it was Jensen I had just finished volunteering for the day, so I left.

“Hi, Jensen."

“Hi, beautiful watcha doing?”

“I just finished volunteering. You?”

“Dinner break and I was sitting here looking at your smokin hot picture and I thought I would give you a call.”

I laughed and said, “You're a goof ball Jensen. Yeah, I been thinking about you, Jared and Misha too. Not getting much volunteering done I'm finished now I'm on my way home talking to you in my car.”

“You’re not driving, are you?”

“I'll probably crash the car if I was.”

He laughed, “Have you told anyone yet about the convention?”

“No, I haven't I really want to keep this to myself for a while longer." I couldn't tell him I had no friends. "I still can't get over it, it's incredible really."

“My pleasure we saw your Face book messages and we decided we would ask you.”

“I'm not sure how you found me though my number is private and you shouldn't be able too.”

He laughed “We had SPN productions track you down by any means possible.”

“So, you invaded my privacy?”

“Basically, we looked on your Face book account. So that's how SPN found your number it's on your account.”

“You know you could have sent me a message by messenger.”

“Would you have believed it was us?”

“Yep your account would have the blue tick.”

“Damn that would have been easier.” I laughed and he laughed too.

“Yep, where are you now Jensen?”

“I'm in my trailer. Why?”

“I just wanted to know if you were alone.” I switched my phone to Face time and he smiled.

“There you are. How are you? I wouldn't know how to do that.”

I smiled, “I'm fine I can't wait to meet you all in person.”

“I'm looking forward to it to Baby.”

“Jensen, can I ask you something?”

“Sure what?”

“Why are you all keeping in contact with me. I'm no one special, I'm a nobody,” and I put my head down so he wouldn't see the pain on my face.

“Look at me Y/N," I looked up and he saw the hurt on my face and the tears threatening to fall. “You are not a nobody. You are a wonderful special person I seen the messages you leave for us when we do a live feed. To tell you the truth we search through them all, too we all find yours. I know Misha does and was very touched with the one you left when everyone was giving him shit over the spelling of his character’s name. Jared looks at the messages with his boys and Gen. You are so kind to us all and now it's our turn to repaid your kindness it's not a chore for us we want too ok. Don't you ever think you’re a nobody or not special because to us you will always be special. You got me Y/N," with a little anger in his voice.

“Your Dean is showing Jensen.”

“I'm sorry but, no I'm not sorry you need to know how much we care for you and feel about you.”

“I'm sorry Jensen,” as I wiped the tears that fell down my face. “Thank you, Jensen.”

“If I was there now I would be giving you a hug right about now. You know these few weeks are going to be hard for me.”

“I know what you mean Jensen.”

“Call me Jay” we both laughed.

“You have a beautiful smile you know that Y/N?”

“No one has ever said anything nice to me before. I'm not sure how to answer you,” with a blush on my face.

He thought shit she never been given a compliment before what has happened to the beautiful woman looking at me.

“Just say thank you Jay and your stunning when you blush Y/N."

“Thank you Jen Jay I mean.”

He smiled and then there was knock on his trailer door.

“Mr Ackles your wanted-on set.”

“Look baby I have to go but I will call you as soon as I get a chance ok. You look after yourself and you are beautiful to me ok talk soon bye sweetheart.”

“Bye,” and we hung up the phone.

I sat in my car willing my breathing to steady and collected my thoughts and drove home.

 

Jensen arrived on set and Jared and Misha asked, “What happened?”

He said, “I was Face timing Y/N you know she has a very low opinion of herself, she thinks she a nobody and we shouldn't be wasting our time on her because she's not important enough.”

Jared said, “Well we will have to change her opinion of herself.”

Jensen smiled, and Misha said, “Did you tell her how we appreciated her kind comments.”

“Yep, but she thinks making us feel better is what is important. She can't even …....” he stopped.

“What?” Jared said.

“She doesn't even know how you react to a compliment like she's never been given one before. I told her she had a beautiful smile and was stunning when she blushed. She told me no one has said anything nice to her ever. So, I told her to say thank you and she did. I don't know what has happened in her life but she's never had a single person say a good thing to her before.”

He looked down with sadness in his eyes he didn't know how to handle the heartbreak he was feeling.

Jared looked at Misha and Jensen and said, “I think we needed to call her everyday all of us and get her use of compliments and build our friendship with her.”

Jensen was still hurting for me, but he and Misha nodded to Jared's suggestion and then they were called to do a scene. Jensen pushed his feelings aside to get his scene done. He put on his Dean mask to get through the rest of his scenes. Jared and Misha were concerned for their friend, but they knew if he needed anything they would be there for him.

I was home cleaning when my mobile rang I looked to see who it was. It was Jared.

“Hi Jared."

“Hi, Y/N I have at least 10 minutes, so I thought I would give you a call. Jay told about his call earlier so it's my turn to have a chat with you." Jared had it already on Face time, so he could see me.

“Jared I'm fine really.”

You look at him and he said, “Are you really ok?”

I bit my bottom lip, “I'm just waiting until I get to meet you all.”

“I understand Princess, but it will only be a few weeks I promise.”

“I know,” and my voice cracked just a little.

“You know what helps me get through these rough times is my family and friends.”

I looked at him with a vague and haunting expression on my face.

“I don't have any family my parents were killed in a car accident about a year ago. I've never really felt comfortable around people, so I just don't …...I paused. I volunteer at an animal shelter so don't have to be around people judging me at least the animals give you unconditional love and ask nothing in return.”

“I'm sorry Princess but don't give up on us all, not all people judge and are mean. We will see you soon and I know you are looking forward to meeting us?”

Tears were streaming down my face as though I never heard what he just said to me.

“I have no one Jared, no one it's all too hard I just wish....”

He saw my face was a void of any emotion, “Shit, just hang on a minute. Stay with me Princess.”

I can see him walking towards a building and then I heard him calling Jensen and Misha. I also heard the Director calling out to them to finish the scene. Jared waved them over as he put his hand over the phone while he talked with Jensen and Misha.

I can see them talking but I couldn't hear what Jared was saying. I saw Jensen worried face and Misha nodding to whatever Jared was saying.

“Princess are you still with me," I had put the phone down as I couldn't bare to see the worry on Jensen's face. Jared all but shouted into the phone, “Princess answer me” he was pleading with me now.

I picked up the phone I had tears still streaming down my face. My face was lifeless like my eyes had lost all the sparkle and was replaced by sadness and a despair.

Jensen said, “I'll be right back” to Jared and Misha. Jared saw the hurt, anger and despair on Jensen's face as he left.

Jared looked to check on Jensen and he was arguing with Bob the Director of the show his jaw was flexing and his hands were in fists he knew Jensen would do something stupid, so he watched them and he heard me.

“Jared I'm so sorry.”

“It's ok Princess we are here. We got you ok. Misha's here he wants to talk to you ok.”

Jared ran over to Jensen and pulled him away from Bob and told him to calm down. He shook his head and walked a few feet away and took deep steadying breaths.

“Hi Y/N can I just say a thank you for all your kindness you have shown me, with your wonderful kind messages about my family and my character’s name. You were the only one who didn't show me any anger or aggression, it really upset me that the fandom would do that to me. You basically said it didn't matter how his name was spelt and you told everyone to get over themselves.”

“I did it because it wasn't right for them to hurt you like that I thought people would be better than that, but I know better I guess. They should be grateful that you, Jensen and Jared post anything. They should have been more understanding instead of attacking you. You are all amazing people I just wanted you to know not everyone was against you Misha. If I could stop the pain I would at least try.” I sniff and wiped the tears that had dried on my face.

I could hear Jensen and Jared who was getting angry now in the background. I still couldn't make out why they were arguing or who with.

Misha pulled my attention back to him he said, “That's why you are special Y/N. You are an amazing incredible person and you have such empathy for us, even now you don't know us personally that takes an amazing soul to feel that much empathy and compassion for us.”

“I've always felt for people even though my life was fucked up. I was kicked about a lot as a child physically, mentally and emotionally abuse by my parents and kids all through school. So, I gave up on people a long time ago. It kinds of scares me to have to be around any people I couldn't handle their judgements and insults. I'm not that strong Misha I'm not, I can't.”

“Hold on Y/N hold on.”

Misha could hear Jared threatening for all of us to walk off if they didn't allow them some time off. He was towering over Bob his 6 foot 4-inch body with an almost feral look on his face. Jared normally the calm one was about to punch something. Bob looked terrified and shrunk in his seat to get away from Jared's anger. Misha was trying to calm Jared and told him to breath and relax which Jared did.

Jensen walked over, and Misha gave him the phone and went to help Jared.

“Hey babe you still with us.”

I had fresh tears rolling down my cheeks and said, “Yeah Jay I'm still here.”

“That's my girl.” I could see the sadness in his eyes and the worry on his face.

“I'm ok Jay I'm just having a rough day the shelter called and told me one of my dogs I cared for passed away I was very close to him. It just broke me that's all.”

“I'm so sorry sweetheart.”

“I know you are trying help me but I'm fine and you all need to get back to work before your Director has a fit at you all.”

“No, Baby stay on the line," he pleaded.

“Bye Jay.” I hung up the phone and I turned it off.

“Jensen what happened?" Jared asked when he gave his phone back. “She hung up. Jared I really worried she looked almost …....” he couldn't finish.

Then they started putting the puzzle pieces together.

Misha said, “She was telling me she was abused by everyone who she's ever had contact with. That's why she works at the animal shelter no judgement.”

Jared said, “Fuck I hate people who hurt other people to make themselves feel better. She's never had anyone to protect her from the hate in the world. I wonder why she sounds so empty and lost.”

Jensen said, “She lost one of her favourite dogs today she loved him and he passed away it broke her.”

Jared said, “Her parents died a year ago and what Misha just said I don't think it's grief that she's feeling I think it's more being alone to battle the world with no support.”

Misha said, “I agree her parents were the first to put her through all this pain they started all this.”

Jensen said, “Son-of-a-bitch if they were alive I would put them through what Y/N's been through.”

Jared, he nodded his head towards Bob, “His given us a week. I think I scared him when I towered over him." He smiled then and Jensen and Misha both knew Jared would have never touched Bob but he could be a scary fucker when he needed to be but Jensen on the other hand would have punched him and lost his job. “We can leave for Australia as soon as we pack some stuff.”

Jensen said, “We will bring her back here and take care of her and show her not everyone is abusive and show how much we care.”

Jared and Misha both shook their heads and ran off to their trailers to grab some clothes.

Jared rang for tickets on the next flight out to Australia they had to change planes in Sydney to Adelaide.

Jensen kept trying my number but I turned it off. He called his Mum instead.

“Hi Mum.”

“Hi, Honey what's wrong you sound upset?"

“Mum I'll be gone for a week. I'm flying to Australia.”

“Why? Honey what's happening?”

“Mum you remember Y/N I was telling about her.”

“Yes, has something happened to her?”

“I don't know Mum but I'm worried. Jared was talking to her and she was in a very bad place. I'm worried she might” and he paused. "Mum she has no one, no support she's been through a lot of abuse I need to help her Mum. I think I might be......”

“Honey go be with her and bring her back with you. I would like to meet the women who has captured my son's heart. Be safe and I love you.”

“I love you too Mum,” and they hung up.

Jared and Misha knocked on his door and said, "They were ready."

Jared said, “I called Gen and she was very supportive and told me to be there for Y/N. She told me to bring her back so they can become friends.”

Jensen smiled as he knew Gen would be a wonderful friend for Y/N and a great support.

Misha said, “Vicky told me to be careful and to help Y/N. She was very understanding of what was happening and encouraged me to go and support her.”

Jensen said, “Mum wants to meet Y/N too and told me to do what I need to, to get her to comeback with us. She told me she wants to meet the women who's captured my heart.”

Jared said, “Your Mum is a very smart women Jensen.”

Jensen said, “Yeah” with a blush.

They got Clif to drive them to the airport and he said, “Jensen man you bring your little lady back here I will keep her safe.”

Jensen said, “Thanks man.”

Jared and Misha were smiling and they bid Clif goodbye.

 

Jensen tried my number again and it was still off “fuck” he mumbled to himself. "I can't get hold off her, her cell is turned off. I'm worried she might do something stupid Jared.”

Jared said, “Maybe we should ring someone to check on her there has to be a mental health service in Adelaide.”

Jensen said, “No, they will put her in lock down for 36 hours. She just might need some time to sort through it all. I will try again when we get to the airport.” His thoughts were constantly on me being alright he kept saying to himself like a mantra be alright baby I'm coming.

Jared and Misha both tried my number and still it was turned off.

 

I had been sitting on my kitchen floor for most of the night with the bottle of pills resting in my hand. I looked down at them and I knew they would do the job. No one to save me this time all my rescues are long gone. I thought it would be so easy to just stop the pain. I thought no one would miss me. I would become another statistic no one would care if I lived or died. It would be so easy to just do it and drift off to sleep. Yes, it would be so easy.


	2. Three Men and a Broken girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader meets Jensen, Jared and Misha for the first time face to face. Reader is injured accidently by Jensen and they take to the hospital. Reader tells Jensen of the abuse she suffered all her life. They deal with reader mental illness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reader meets Jensen, Jared and Misha for the first time face to face. Reader is injured by Jensen and they take to the hospital. Reader tells Jensen of the abuse she suffered all her life. Friendship begins between Reader, Jensen, Jared and Misha. They help reader through her pain and mental illness.  
> Their is some humour and lots of fluff.
> 
> This chapter is very heavy with dealing with readers abuse and suicide attempts. Please be aware reader was very young when she first try to commit suicide. Graphic description of abuse and violence towards reader.
> 
> I know this will never happen in really life and the reader has some issues to deal with which she does in coming chapters but I wanted them to do something nice for the reader to make her feel loved and build a trust between them all.
> 
> If you have any issues with abuse or suicide please do not read this as I do not wish to trigger anything. So please read with caution.
> 
>    
> This is unbetaed all mistakes are my own.  
> I would like to thank my good friend for allowing me to include him in my story. He has been a great friend and support to me. I appreciate your friendship very much.  
> Hope you like it. Please leave comments they are much appreciated.

They boarded the plane and Jensen was quiet and wondering what he was going to find when they arrived. He kept telling himself please be alright.

Jared said next to him “She will be fine Jensen I know she will be.”

He gave Jared a tight smile and said, “I hope so.”

Misha placed a hand and squeezed gently on his shoulder for support.

The flights seem to take forever but they finally arrived in Adelaide about 20 hours after leaving Canada. It was about 4pm in Adelaide when they arrived.

They all were exhausted but Jensen wasn't going to rest until he saw I was alright and he knew Jared and Misha were the same.

Jared said, “How do we find her Jay?”

Jensen said, “I'm not sure but we better think of something.”

Misha said, “How about ringing Sarah from SPN Productions she might know her address.”

Jensen said, “Worth a try I guess thanks Mish.”

So, he pulled up his contacts and hit the button for SPN. Meanwhile Jared and Misha tried my number again.

The SPN answered the voice said, “Hello Sarah speaking.”

Jensen said “Oh, thank god this is Jensen Ackles. Sarah, we need your help finding Y/N it's an emergency. Do you have her address Sarah please?”

Sarah said “Mr Ackles” stunned it was him talking to her direct.

He said “Yes Sarah please I need you to hurry I don't mean to push but like I said it's an emergency. We are here in Adelaide looking for her.”

Sarah shook herself and said, “Yes ok course Mr Ackles.”

Jensen said, “Just Jensen ok.”

She said, “Ok Jensen her address is, hang on, there it is," and she told him as he scribbled it down on his hand.

“Thanks Sarah.”

“Hope Y/N is aright Jensen?"

He said, “Me too bye.”

She said “Bye” and hung up.

Misha and Jared said in unison “Well?”

 

“We need to get a cab,” he said as they already passed through customs with no problems as they only had carry on luggage.

So, they grab the nearest cab and Jensen told the driver the address. Jensen had trouble with the street name so the driver typed it in the GPS for the quickest way there.

Jensen said, “Did you reach her yet?” looking at both of them.

They both shook their heads no.

He said, “Damn it Y/N please be alright.”

They both saw the concern in their friend’s eyes and heard it in his voice. They both prayed I was ok for Jensen sake this would brake him if anything happened.

Jensen said to the driver "How much longer?" getting impatience to arrive.

The driver said, “About another 5 minutes.”

They pulled up outside my house and paid the driver and got there bags out of the boot. They walked up to my door after Jared said, “She lives here it doesn't look good here Jensen.”

Jensen said “Yep.”

Misha said, “It doesn't look safe Jensen.”

Jensen said, “No I don't think it is.”

Jensen knocked gently as he found the screen door unlocked, as was the front door he looked at the lock, it looked broken. They entered cautiously not knowing what to expect.

Jared saw and said, “How long has she been living in here with a broken lock.”

Misha said, “Jensen we need to get her out of here as soon as we can.”

Jensen nodded and walked in slowly he called out my name but got no answer.

They walked into the living room and they saw the tore and tattered furniture. They could tell I didn't use this room at all. There was dust over the shelves and had no TV in the room. He put his bag down and turned to see a door beside him. He knocked gently and said my name as he opens the door they saw my unmade bed and a little black and white TV on my cupboard. Then they continued through the house the kitchen was empty with only a fridge it looked old and about to fall apart.

Jared said, “Fuck, how does she live like this Jensen.”

Jensen said, “It's probably the only thing she ever known.”

They moved on as they saw the other room was empty. They were almost to the back door when they heard a noise in, what they though could be the bathroom. I was singing a song and Jensen had to smile to know I was ok and singing in the bath.

Jensen knocked on the door and called my name again I didn't answer but he thought I might not hear him if I had head phones on as they couldn't hear any music playing. So, he looked at Jared and Misha and pulled down on the handle to open the door. He was afraid of what he might find as he opened the door.

I was too busy singing to realise the door was opening and three of them looking at me singing in the bath. I still have not realise they were there as I soaked in my bubble bath. Jensen reach out and touched my arm I screamed in fright and then turned to see three pairs of eyes looking at me.

I met forest green, hazel and baby blue eyes all were much more gorgeous in real life as I only saw them in black and white. Jensen's forest green eyes were incredible they took my breath away as his met my Y/E/C eyes.

I blushed and took the earphones off and said “What? Why?”

Jensen sighed in relief as he said, “We were worried you weren't answering our calls and you left your front door open anyone could come in?”

I said, “It's broken and I thought I shut and locked the screen door.”

Jared said, “So we all decided to come see if you were ok.”

Misha said, “Sorry about the intrusion” just now realising I'm still in the bath naked.

I laughed a little soft laugh and they all looked like they never seen a person laugh before.

Then I blushed again I said, “Can you hand me the towel please Jensen.” It was a bit tattered but still dry me well enough.

He had put it in front of him and they all then turned their heads to give me some privacy. I slipped on my flannel getting up and I tried to grab on to Jensen to steady myself and I pulled Jensen in with me. There was a loud splash and we landed in a pool of suds. As we landed with a loud thud Jensen landed on top of me and I heard a sickening crack I wasn't sure if it was me or Jensen. As the towel settled on my wet body covering me from their eyes.

We both said in unison “Are you ok?”

Jared and Misha were trying to hold back their giggles because Jensen was soaked to the bone.

Jensen shifted in the bath and moved the water as he moved exposing one of my breasts as the towel moved. He noticed and gave me the most amazing shit eating grin I've ever seen. I flicked some water at him and it hit him in the face.

It was then that I knew I was starting to fall in love with him. Shit who wouldn't he was gorgeous with his dirty blonde hair and his lips so full and soft. His amazing forest green eyes and knew I could get lost in them easily. I felt an instant connection with Jensen, it was like I don't know..... All I knew is I felt something for him.

I said, “Jensen you first.”

Jensen said “Jared, Misha can you please help me up.”

They both grabbed an arm each and lifted a very wet Jensen out of the bath. He again moved the water and the towel and all three saw a little more than I wanted their eyes roaming over my curves the ones I did have. Jensen licked his bottom lip moistening it while Jared and Misha tried to turn but Jensen was in the way. I met Jensen's eyes and he had a smirk on his face which turned into a smile.

It was then when Jensen was out of the bath I felt the pain in my left knee as I moved my leg. I cried out in pain.

Jensen said, “Shit, baby you ok?”

I looked at him and he knew something was wrong with the pained look on my face and me crying out.

He told Jared and Misha to leave. While he'll get me out of the bath with the wet towel still over my body seeing how he was already wet. He told them to find more towels. I called out in the cupboard in the kitchen. He told me to put my arm around his neck and he gently put his arm under my legs and lifted me effortless.

He said “Baby your so light. Can you stand?”

I said, “I don't know?”

He gently put me down as I grabbed the towel to hide my body. He was still supporting me as I put pressure on my leg I cried out with pain. He held me in his arms as he looked down to find the cause of the pain. He saw my left knee was very swollen and bruised.

He gently sat down on the edge of the bath with me in his lap and said “I need to feel your knee ok? Can you be brave for me Baby.”

I nodded as he gently touched my knee and I bit my bottom lip to stop myself for crying out. He noticed the tears forming in my eyes and turned me in his lap until he could give me a hug.

He said, “I think I broken you knee when I landed on it.”

He was still holding me tight to his body to cover me up as much as possible from the cold as my skin was cooling with the water drying.

Jared came back with some dry towels for me.

Jensen said, “Can you put one on Y/N's bed and those next to it and I will wrap this one around her."

So, Jared handed him the towel and left. He gently lifted me off his lap and supported me so I didn't put any weight on my left knee and he wrapped the towel around me as I pulled the wet one off.

He said “Better?”

I said, “Still cold” as I snuggled back into Jensen even though he was wet. He lifted me back into his arms and my head was resting on his shoulder. He walked me the little way to my room and gently laid me on the towel Jared had put down.

Jared and Misha were waiting patiently outside my bedroom in case Jensen needed help.

I started drying myself with the towel sitting next to the one I was lying on. Jensen also started stripping off and dry himself with the other towel. I watched as his shoulders muscles ripped with him drying himself. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow as I was watching him and forgot I was cold. I felt a heated blush rise from my chest to my cheeks.

He said, “Do you need any help?”

I said, “Yes can you grab me some clothes in my wardrobe please and underwear over in that drawer.”

He walked over to my drawer and saw some black panties and a black bra and handed them to me with a devilish look on his face.

“What?”

He smiled, “Nice underwear.”

I laughed as I put my bra on with the towel still covering me but I couldn't get my panties on.

He looked and came over and lifted me off the bed and stood me and I bending down slightly for support of his back. He lifted my sore leg first and I groaned in pain.

“You ok?”

“Hmm.”

Then he did the other knee but he sat me down so there was no pressure on my leg. Then he pulled them up and told me to lift my bottom and when they were in place he looked me in the eyes and kissed the top of my head.

He said,"Clothes?” as he looked at my threadbare clothes and decide a skirt and one of his plaid shirts would be best.

He pulled out a plaid shirt and said, “Here put this on it will be warmer.”

“I can't Jensen you,” he stopped me.

“I can buy new stuff if I need it ok."

“Ok, thank you.”

He put the skirt on me it was his purple plaid shirt and he was right it was a lot warmer and way too big for my 4ft 9inchs in height but it smelt of Jensen's cologne and I felt content.

He finished getting changed and put his wet clothes in a plastic bag after asking where they were.

He grabbed me some shoes and asked, “Where's your car?”

I said, “In behind the gates not sure how much petrol is in it. I only use it when I volunteer as I can't afford the petrol. The keys in the cupboard.”

He lifted me into his arms again and asked Misha to grab the keys.

Misha was shocked to see a bare amount of food in the cupboard mental note tell Jensen and Jared.

Misha said, “Jared you think you can get us to the hospital. He looked at the Laser and wondered if his over 6-foot frame could fit into it.

I said, “you can move the seat Jared.”

He nodded he looked worried but he moved the seat as far as it goes he just fit into the car. Misha sat in the front and Jensen held me in the back with my leg resting on his legs.

He was gently rubbing my legs and he was looking at me worried. I felt his gaze on me and I grabbed his hand and held it to my chest. He knew I was not coping well with my knee and he knew I needed some comfort so he turned me so my leg was now resting on the seat and I was wrapped in his arms as he turned himself so I was comfortable.

Jared said, "Where to Y/N?”

I said, “Go on to the main road and drive straight down the road.” I showed him the easiness way to get to the hospital we arrived 20 minutes later. Jensen carefully lifted me and carried me into the ER and the triage nurse asked what happened. Jared and Misha were standing their trying not to attract attention to any of them.

The triage nurse looked at them she recognised them and said, “Are they.....?” she stopped.

I looked and said, “Are they what?”

Jared said in a quiet voice “Jensen do you want me to hold her?”

Jensen said, “Nah buddy I got her.”

The nurse smiled as they answered the question she asked me and said, “Ok, Y/N this way.”

I said, “Thank you.”

I whispered to Jensen "She knows who you all are that's why I got in so quick.”

The nurse heard me and smile and said, “I thought you might want some privacy.”

Jensen said, “Fame has some benefits I guess.”

She led us to a private waiting room but before she left she asked if I mine if she got a selfie with them.

I smiled and said, “No it's fine if they want too.”

Jensen said after the selfie “Can you please make sure we have some privacy we are here for our friend.”

She said “Of course and thanks. The doctor shouldn't be too long Y/N," after taking my BP and heart rate with the monitor and wrote it in my file. Then she left us there.

Misha said, “I think she likes you Jared.”

Jared said, “Nope you.”

Jensen and I laughed as they banter back and forth so I decided to add my opinion. I said, “Nope definitely Jensen,” he smiled a most breath-taking smile when I said it.

“Nah, Baby definitely those two.”

We all laughed then and was told to keep it down by a hard ass nurse who didn't care who they were.

Jensen said, “She has a stick up her ass.”

We laughed again the Doctor arrived a short time later. He introduced himself, I'm Paul your doctor," handing a card to Jensen as I told him our names.

He said “Your full name, date of birth, allergies to medications," just to make sure I was the right person. "So, tell what happened?”

So, I went into an explanation of what happened and he said, “Ok let's look at that knee shall we.”

He lifted the blanket and then my skirt to above my left knee.

He said “Yes, it is very swollen and bruise. I'm going to touch and feel it alright.”

Jensen had hold of my hand as he was holding it all the time I was there. They saw the worry look on my face so Jared grabbed my other hand and Misha rubbed my right leg for support. He touched it and I cried out in pain I squeezed both their hands that hard they thought I was going to break them.

Dr Paul said “I know, I'm sorry just a bit more there. We will need to take X-rays but I think it is broken. I'll let the X-ray confirm. I will be back and I will get an orderly to take you to X-ray and I will get the nurse to give you some pain relief.”

“Thanks Paul.”

Jared looked at Jensen and both were flexing their hands.

He said, “Hey Y/N you almost broke our hands with that grip of yours.”

I smiled as I knew he was trying to make me laugh as I looked worry.

Misha said, “What's worrying you Y/N?”

I said, “I can't have a broken knee”.

Jensen said, “Don't worry baby we will take care of you.”

It just occurred to me that they are in Australia why?

I said, "Why are you here?”

Jensen said, “Well I hurt you.” I waved him off.

“Not here, I mean in Australia?” I said.

Jared said, “We were worried about you, you seemed really upset and I we thought....”

“I might hurt myself,” I finished for him. I looked at them and cast my eyes down and they then knew I was going to do something.

Misha said, “We got the first flight out here. Our Director wasn't happy if Jared hadn't threatened that we would walk off the job he wouldn't let us come.”

Jensen said, “Simply we had to see if you’re ok, ok," squeezing my hand.

I started crying Jensen was up in a second hugging me then Jared and Misha joined in.

“I can't breathe,” I try to say through their tight hug and my tears and they pulled back to allow me to breathe.

Jensen said, “Baby what's with the tears,” as he wiped them gently from my face.

I said, “I've never had anyone who cared enough about my welfare or what happens to me. To come here and fly around the world and give up their jobs to come see if I'm alright. I was just a piece of furniture before to be kicked around. I was treated like a dog and abused and ignored, most of the time they only kept me around to be their slave, in cleaning the house and cooking their meals. I really did want to kill myself before you came but I watched the live feed of our phone call, you all saved my life. I just couldn't give up so I kept on fighting for you all and myself.”

Jensen said, “Your safe now baby we going to look after you, no more being kicked around by anyone. No more feeling like nothing or a nobody ok. You can lean on us any time you need to, we will always be here for you whenever you need us.”

I wiped the tears from my eyes as they held my hands as they were trembling and I gave them all a melancholic smile.

Then the orderly came to take me to X-ray and the nurse gave me some pain killers.

Jared said, “We will be here waiting for you.”

I said, “Thank you.”

They wheeled me away, as soon as I was gone.

Jared said, “Jay we can't leave her here like this especially now, if her knee is broken and her having suicidal thoughts.”

Jensen looked at Misha and Jared and said, “I know.”

Misha said, “We can only stay for the a few more days and we have to be back before the end of the week.”

Jensen looked sad and said, “We can't leave her in that house where the door doesn't lock and the furniture all ripped and the threadbare clothes it breaks my heart to see her this broken.”

Misha said, “She's living on spaghetti and noodles Jensen I saw them when I grabbed her keys.”

Jared said, “Shit when was the last time she had a decent meal?”

Jensen said with sad look in his eyes, “I have an idea but I need both of you to agreed?”

Both said in unison "What?”

“How about we take her back home with us as she has nothing to keep her here. She can use our support and I feel guilty about her knee. Plus, she's needs us so we can show her some love and maybe the SPN Fans can too. I don't think she's ever have anyone tell her that she is loved or love her.”

Jared said, “She's really gotten to you hasn't she.”

Jensen said, “It breaks my heart to see her this broken, crying and shattered Jared and no one in her life cares if she lives or dies. I want to help show her we care for her and she's not alone anymore.”

Misha said “I'm in. Y/N was caring towards me so I want to help show her I care too. I know Vicky will too she also saw the messages she wrote for me.”

Jared said, “Ok I will too, Gen wants to meet Y/N and I think they could become best friends and I don't like seeing her, this shattered either.”

Jensen said, “Now we have to convince her in the next three days.”

 

I came back from X-ray and Jared asked if I was hungry.

I said, “Maybe a little but I'm good.”

Jensen, Misha and Jared all looked at each other and Jared said, “My treat anything you want Y/N?"

We have been in the hospital for three hours waiting and I had dark circles under my eyes, my face looked pale and my eyes were still a bit swollen from crying earlier. I looked exhausted like all the fight had left my body I was slumped down on the gurney and had no energy.

They all noticed and Misha said “Jared, I will come too. Y/N anything you want?”

I said, “Maybe a sandwich with ham and cheese and a lemonade thanks.”

Jensen said, “Burger and chips and apple pie if they have any thanks.”

Jared rolled his eyes and said, “Ok we will be back soon.”

Jensen saw the exhaustion settle over my body and said, “Try to get some sleep Baby. I will be right here with you.”

I said, “I'm not tired Jensen,” and then I yawned.

He moved and sat on the side of the bed and I was careful when I moved over to let him lie next to me. He held me in his arms singing a song to me it was “Lean on Me” gently until I fell asleep and he soon followed and that's how Jared and Misha found us a short time later with Jensen's arms holding me tight.

So, they left and let us sleep they went to find somewhere to eat their food.

They were sitting quietly not drawing any attention to themselves when people started recognising them. They always took selfies and gave autographs to fans as they are the ones who keep their show on air and them in a job.

Jared said, “Misha have you seen the way Jensen is very protective of Y/N?”

“Yeah he feels guilt for braking her knee that's all.”

“No, I know him for a long time it's more.”

“How?”

“I think he really likes Y/N. You saw what happen back on set he was the one who went to Bob and ask for the week off and in there just now the way he's holding her like his life or her life depends on his touch.”

“So, you think he's in love with her, don't you?”

“Maybe we should head back they maybe awake and hungry.”

“Ok.”

 

They arrived back and Paul had woken them and was speaking to us as Jensen was still holding me tight.

Paul said, "Your knee is broken and you would need to wear a brace for 6-8 weeks and no putting any weight on it at all."

Jensen said, “Sorry Baby I didn't mean to hurt you.”

Paul said, “The X- ray show previous injuries with your knee, you had it broken several times over the years.”

“Yes why?”

“Your knee taking this much punishment has damaged it and made it weaker so it was in a very fragile state. You will eventually need a knee construction but not yet. When Jensen fell on it, it couldn't handle his weight and added trauma so that's why it's broken it should heal up in the next 6-8 weeks, if not you will need to have the re con done.”

“Oh, see Jensen not your fault my stupid knee broke I such a worthless person.”

Jensen looked at me and said, “No you’re not I never want to hear you say that about yourself again you hear me," and I turned my face so he couldn't see my eyes.

He turned my face but I saw pain in his forest green eyes and I said, “I'm sorry."

Jensen wanted to know how my knee was broken so often and he was going to talk to me about it later when we were by ourselves.

Paul said, “We will get you a brace and some crutches to get around on ok. We will see what happens with the brace and if it heals, then we will do physical therapy and get the knee stronger.”

“What if it doesn't help?"

“Worst case we do the re con don't worry about that now we will wait and see. I will organise your brace and crutches and do a discharge letter so you can follow up with your GP. I will also give you a script for some pain killers.”

"Thanks Paul.” He gave me a heartfelt smile as he left.

Jensen said, “Looks like your going to be on crutches for a while,” he looked at me and I was pouting. “What?”

“I hate crutches they are uncomfortable and hurt couldn't we ask for a wheelchair too.”

“Sure Baby" Jensen said.

Misha said, “I'll go ask for you Y/N."

“Thanks Misha.”

He smiled and Jared said, “I got you some food. Sorry Jensen yours might be cold but it's still eatable.”

Jensen said, “Thanks Jared I'm starving.”

He looked at me, “Baby are you going to eat?” with a mouthful of food. He devoured his burger in minutes and ate his chips and was about to start on his pie.

“Not really.”

Jared said, “You should try to eat something Y/N.”

A look passed between Jensen and Jared I was looking elsewhere so I didn't see the look.

I just shook my head in response to Jared's question. I wanted to get out of the hospital and go home when we heard a commotion out in the corridor.

I heard Misha talking to a lot of people. Jared when out there to see what was happening and was pulled into the conversation with Misha and all the nurses. Apparently, word had gotten around about them being in Emergency so they all came to meet them. They all wanted to know if they could get pictures and autographs.

One of the nurses asked if Mr Ackles were here also. Jensen laughed when he heard the nurse and said, “That's my Dad not me.”

“Go I'm alright. Go dazzle your fans their waiting to talk with you.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah go on, I'll be right here.”

 He laughed as he knew I wasn't going anywhere. He kissed my forehead and went into the corridor. I heard them all talking and getting pictures and autographs then nurse hard ass came along and told them to be quiet.

I looked at the sandwich Jared had brought and opened it and took a small bite. I put the rest on the table and started thinking as my mind drifted off to how I was going to manage again with a broken knee. I won't be able to drive and walking on crutches were hell last time. I guess I will make it work I did last time but I was much younger then and easier to move around, now I'm older it's going to be more difficult.

Jensen, Jared and Misha don't know how much trauma I've being through. They don't know how many broken bones I have had over the years due to my parent’s beatings. How I was tormented, teased and beaten regularly at school. How I had no friends as I remember all this abuse tears begin to fall unbidden down my face. I felt a pair of arms wrapped themselves around me I didn't hear anyone re-enter the room. I didn't know who it was but I felt safe and comforted.

I heard him say, “It's ok I got you.”

I turned my head into his shoulder as he rubbed soothing circles on my back and cooed softly, “It's ok you’re never going to be alone again.”

I finally calmed down and I whispered, “Please don't let me go.”

He said, “I won't Baby I won't.”

I pulled back and saw worry in his forest green eyes he still had hold of me. He saw the pain on my face and in my Y/E/C eyes. He wished he could take all the bad memories away so I wouldn't look so empty and broken any more. He could understand why I would want to end it all because of the all pain I had to go through.

He decided there and then he would build new memories, happy memories with me and Jared and Misha too. He pulled me back into a hug and kissed the top of my head rubbing his hand over my Y/H/C hair. He felt his heart break with my tears as he was fighting off his own.

 

Then Paul walked in with the brace and the crutches. Misha and Jared followed him into my room and Misha wheeling in a wheelchair for me. Jensen was still holding me in his arms as I wiped the tears away and Jared and Misha wondering what happened and would ask Jensen about it later.

Jensen said, “Hey baby looks like you have a ride.”

I pulled back and my eyes were red and puffy from the crying when I saw the wheelchair I laughed a sad kind of laugh.

Paul said, “Let's get this brace on so you can get out of here.”

I said, “That will be great Paul thanks.”

So, Paul was gentle putting the brace on and helped me adjust the crutches so I could use them when needed then helped me into the wheelchair.

He gave the discharge letter and the script for the pain killers and we left after Jensen grabbed his pie and my sandwich. We all laughed when he picked his pie up.

He looked at us and said, “What?”

As we left the nurses all were saying their goodbyes to them. I didn't mind that they were giving the nurses their attention as it helped me be invisible as I don't like large crowds of people.

I looked up as we went back to the car Jared paid the parking fee and I said, “What now?”

Jared said, “We going back to your place and you pack some things and come with us to a hotel. Plus, your front door doesn't even lock it's dangerous for you to stay there.”

I said, “I can't....?”

Jensen cut me off, “You can't take care of yourself let us help you.”

I looked at them and all three of them were giving me their best puppy dog eyes.

Jensen said, “Please,” it sounded so heart wrenching so I agreed.

I said, “Ok I will come and Jared the screen door locks.”

We headed out of the hospital car park all smiling and went back to my house. Jared unlocked the screen door to let us in. They left the wheelchair in the car and gave me my crutches to move around on better. It was hard to not put my leg down but I knew I had to stay off it.

I asked them to help me. Misha he found a bag and I told him what to put in it. Jensen, Misha and Jared had the same thought take me shopping tomorrow for some new clothes and suitcases.

So, we all got back in the car and headed towards town after giving Jared the directions.

He said, “Which is the best hotel in Adelaide?”

I said, “I don't know, I know there's a few on North Terrace that look alright. I don't normally come to the city.”

He kept driving with me giving him directions and Jensen holding me in his arms with my knee resting on the seat.

Misha said, “Look at that?” It was the entertainment centre and the display across the road he was looking at.

Jensen was not at all interested as he kept his hand enclosed in mine rubbing his thumb along my palm. He lifts my hand and kisses my palm I blushed at the intimate moment and he saw and I was rewarded with a dazzling smile then rested my hand back in his.

It was nice but I was feeling unsure as we have only known each other maybe a few hours at most. But I looked into his green eyes and saw them sparkle in the dark when the street lights hit them. It made my heart flutter with excitement at the sight as he looked at me like I was beautiful. I hummed and smiled, Jared heard me and looked back and saw how relaxed I was and tap Misha to look and they both smiled.

 

We arrived a short time later Jared pulled into the first big hotel on North Terrace. I didn't know its name but Jared decided it looked alright. The valet opened the door for Jared as he stepped out and towered over the poor man. Misha got out and opened the boot and got out the wheelchair. Jensen got the crutches while Jared grabbed our bags.

The valet said, “I will go and get someone to help.”

Jared said, “It's not necessary we got it.”

He said, “Of course Sir would you like me to park your car?”

Jared said, “Yes thank you,” and handed him the keys.

Misha and Jensen helped me into the wheelchair while Jared was attending to the valet. Jensen gave me the crutches to hold while Jared took most of the bags and Misha helped while Jensen wheeled me in.

I looked surprised and shocked the hotel was gorgeous it had a check in desk as you walk in and the rest of it was open with plants and waterfalls and little shops and a restaurant it was cosy.

We went up to the counter and Jared asked a room with four bedrooms. The person behind the desk said, “The one room with four bedrooms is the pen house suite Sir.”

Jared looked at Jensen and Misha for confirmation I didn't notice I was in total awe of the place.

“We will take that please.”

“Of course Sir, whose name shall we put it in?”

They decided to use my name.

Jensen said, “Y/N L/N.”

“How long will you all be staying and will you be paying now or when you leave Sir.”

Jensen said, “We will be here at least six days and we will pay now."

“Of course, your room has only one entrance and has a lock key on the elevator as well so no one can enter your room without your key.”

“Thank you,” and handed him his card.

“Enjoy your stay,” as he handed Jensen's the key card. 

Jensen smiled as he gave them the key card to the elevator which took us to our room.

We headed to the elevator and Jensen pressed the number and put the card in so it would stop on our floor.

We arrived and the elevator opened on to the room itself. The room was enormous bigger than my whole house.

I said, “Wow this is incredible.”

We went in and Jared and Misha put the bags down and Jensen had wheeled me around the room. Jensen led me over to the big window you could see the whole of Adelaide almost it was glorious with all the lights. I looked down and I could see the river Torrens even though it was dark it looked pretty.

Jared said, “What room would you like?'

I said, “I'm not fussed really.”

Misha said, “How about the one with the view.”

I said, “No I could have one of the other rooms.”

Jensen said, “It's settled,” and he wheeled me into the room with the biggest window I've ever seen.

He laughed when he saw my face.

He said, “Let's get you settled. Do you want to take a nap for a while you look exhausted Baby?”

I said, “Yeah that would be nice.”

He lifted me out of chair bridal style and lay me gently on the bed and pulled a blanket over me to keep me warm and kissed me on the cheek before he left.

He said, “Sweet dreams beautiful. We will be out there ok.”

I said, “Ok thank you Jensen,” with a yawn my eyes closed I was asleep before he left the room.

Jared asked, “Y/N ok Jay?”

Jensen answered, “She was out like a light. Poor thing she was exhausted.”

Misha said, “She's had a rough couple of days.”

Jared said, “Jay what happened earlier at the hospital when she was crying?”

He said, “I don't know when I came back she was crying. I think she was remembering and has some very deep wounds and emotionally trauma not to mention the physical abuse as well.”

Jared said, “Do you think we will be enough to help her Jay. What if we can't?”

He said, “I think if we could replace the bad memories with good ones. Yes, I think we can help Y/N. I think all she needs is us to care about her and show her that we are here for her. She needs to feel supported and loved.”

Misha said, “How are we going to that?”

Jensen said, “First we buy her some nice new clothes and some new suitcases.”

Jared said, “I don't know how she keeps warm during winter she must freeze?'

Misha said, “She probably can't afford heating and warmer clothes most of her clothes are threadbare. She must have a bleak life and yet she can show kindness to others. She is one amazing person and she has a beautiful soul.”

Jensen said, “We need to convince her to come home with us.”

Jared said, “Then what Jensen?”

Jensen said, “She could stay on set and we could get her an easy job while on the crutches or she could just watch us on set. All I know is I don't want to leave her on her own as soon as we get back. It will be all new for her and she will be scared.”

Jared said, “Maybe I could get Gen to come be with her too. Dude I will help any way we can and I know Gen wants to meet Y/N.”

Jensen said, “Yes maybe we could get Gen, Vicky and my Mum to stay with her while we are on set? We will work out the details later.”

Misha said, “She's going to object to shopping tomorrow you know that, don't you?”

He said, “Yeah I know. We will take her in a store and let her look around and then offer to buy her some clothes.”

Jared said, “Ok it might work. I'm going to call Gen and I'm wiped I might go to bed see you in the morning.”

Jensen said, “Ok see you then.”

Misha said, “I'll go ring Vicky too tell her what's happening.”

Jensen said, “Ok buddy see you in the morning.”

They had taken the rooms on the opposite side to where my room was and Jensen was in the room next door to mine.

He pulled out his phone to ring his Mum.

He waited until she answered.

“Hi Mum.”

“Hi Doodlebug! How's Y/N doing?”

“Mum please stop calling me Doodlebug I'm a grown ass man.”

“Sorry Doodlebug you will always be my doodlebug.”

He sighed and knew he wasn't going to win this argument which they have had many times before.

“Mum she's not good I broken her knee we have been in the hospital all day.”

“What happened?”

“We got to her home and she was in the bath and she slipped pulling me with her and I landed on her knee.”

“You walked in on her in her bath?”

“Her front door was open and we were worried something might have happened so we came in and found her in the bath. She was fine and singing in the bath. She looked amazing Mum she so beautiful.”

“So where are you now?”

“We are all in a hotel in Adelaide Y/N is with us. Mum its worse than we thought she is living on barely nothing her clothes are all threadbare and she has no decent food. Her life has been hell Mum she was going to kill herself but we saved her. We fucking save her. Mum I can't bear to see her like this it's killing me.”

“Jensen what do you want to do?'

“I want to give her everything she deserves Mum. New clothes and enough food and happy memories. Mum I think I'm...” shit his world shifted as he realised he was in falling in love with me.

He didn't think a person could fall in love so quickly, easily, but he felt like he was drowning in a flood of emotion and he was finding it hard to work out his feelings they were overwhelming, suffocating as he struggled with the pain and love in his heart. One thing he knew he was undeniably and unequivocally in love with me.

“Your falling in love with her?”

“Yes, I think I am she's all I can think about. I want to protect her and make her happy Mum. I think I want to marry her someday and have children with her.”

“That's beautiful you do what you have too to bring my future daughter-in-law home.”

“Mum what if we aren't enough to help her?”

“Oh, Jensen you show her you love her with all your heart and soul and that will be all she needs. Does she feel the same way about you?”

“I don't know but we have become closer Mum. I think she has feelings for me I don't know if it's love?”

“Maybe you should make her a promise. I don't know what, maybe show her that you will always be there for her.”

“Yeah, I will think of something. Thanks Mum. I love you.”

“I love you too. How's Jared and Misha doing?”

“They are fine and helping with Y/N. I think they care a lot about her also.”

“That's good honey you all show her you care and it will bring her back from the edge and into caring relationships.”

“Thanks Mum see you in a few days.”

“Love you Doodlebug.”

“Love you too bye.”

 

She hung and Jensen when too his room and got ready for bed he just finished putting his PJ’s on when he heard me crying out in my sleep. He knocked gently on my door but got no answer. So, he came in quietly as not to wake me up.

He walked over and squatted down as I mumbled “Please don't hit me. I'll be good.”

He thought fuck how much has Y/N taking in her life. How much fucking disappointment and heartache, hurt and anger has Y/N felt. I was still whimpering in my sleep when Jensen gently stroked my face pulling a bit of hair away and whispered, “Your safe Y/N I got you, your safe Baby.”

I grabbed his arm and said, “Please stay with me Jensen?”

“Baby are you awake,” I opened my eyes and looked into his amazing coloured eyes. “Do you want to talk about it sweetheart?”

“Not now maybe some other time. Can you please stay with me I don't want to be alone?”

“If you’re sure?”

“Please," and I pulled the covers back. He climbed in the other side of the bed careful not to hurt my knee. He pulled me close to his body and held me tight.

He kissed the back of my neck and said, “Night Baby.”

“Night Jay.”

 

In the morning, I was lying half on top of Jensen my sore knee was draped over Jensen's thigh and my body was nestled close to his. I was looking at his sleeping form trying not to wake him I felt comfortable in his arms lying next to him like we have known each other for years but it's only been one day.

I was looking at how handsome his face is when he's asleep I gently ran my finger along his eyebrow and my breathed hitched in case I woke him up. His face looked relaxed and he looked comfortable even though I was lying almost on top of him.

He inhaled a breath and my heart fluttered it was like I was seeing him for the first time as I continued to look at him and rubbing his stubbled cheek gently. I moved my leg as easy as I could so I wouldn't wake him up and he stirred his beautiful forest green eyes fluttered open.

He said, “Hey baby” voice hoarse from not being used.

My hand still on his face as he smiled at me.

“Sorry I didn't mean to wake you?"

“You didn't I been awake for a couple of minutes. I felt your hand on my cheek it's nice to wake up like that.”

“Jensen?”

He looked at me and knew what I wanted. He rolled me over gently so I was lying flat on the bed and he looked down so he wouldn't connect with my knee.

He gently rubbed my face as he licked his bottom lip and lent down and kissed me, it was a soft kiss and tender to begin with and he then deepen it. He gently bit my bottom lip asking for permission to enter and I opened willingly to allow him to explore my mouth with his tongue.

I jumped slightly as our tongues touched and I heard a small laugh into my mouth. I relaxed into the kiss after the moment of shock and he was more experienced at kissing than I was so I just let him take control. I moaned in the back of my throat and he growled in reply and smiled as he continued to deepen the kiss. I felt butterflies growing in my stomach and felt a warmth between my legs. I also felt something hard on my thigh.

I felt the air being sucked out of my lungs when we finally pulled back. I made a whimpering sound trying to follow his lips. I was panting for air in great gulps and Jensen laughed.

“Wow," as I inhale some air.

“Y/N was that your first real kiss?”

I looked embarrassed and flushed again he knew what the answer was.

“Yes, I've never had anyone....” I stopped.

“It's ok baby I liked it that I was your first." Then I blushed and he looked at me, "God your beautiful when you blush and your lips all red and swollen from our first kiss.”

This time I decided to kiss him to show him what I had learnt from his kiss and because I really needed to kiss him again I laughed at myself I am becoming addicted to Jensen's kisses.

I put my hand at the back of his neck as his fingers stroked through my hair. I deepen the kiss I could hear him moaning this time and I laughed into his mouth.

I could feel the butterflies again and it felt good and exciting as the tingling between my legs grew. His hand had travelled down to my breast and he was squeezing it and rubbing it gently through his shirt. He started to undo the buttons and pushed my bra aside and squeezed my breast gently as we still kissed. I rubbed my hand down his shirt back until I was squeezing his very firm ass. He moved and kissed my jaw and then my neck just behind my ear and I mewled in pleasure as he kissed me. His mouth found my pulse point and then sucked his mark on me.

“That's to let everyone know your mine.”

I was like putty in his hands. I could feel he wanted more.

“Jensen, we should stop.”

“Alright I don't want to push you to far if this is your first time. I don't want to force you into anything you’re not ready for.”

I wanted him so bad but I didn't know anything about having sex.

“Thanks Jay your right I'm not ready, I'm not even sure how to have sex. It will be my first time and I'm a little scare of what might happen between us. I've never been in a relationship before and it terrifies me it was easier when I was being abused I knew where I stood and this is all so new and exciting I can't breathe with how much I feel about you.”

“It's ok Y/N we can take this as slow as you want get to know each other inside and out. Let me show you how to love someone unconditionally and you can have that love returned without abuse. I can't say there will not be any pain but all relationships have pain. I can promise you, you will never be beaten or abused again. I will show you my heart and soul and you will show me yours if you will have me.”

I had tears in my eyes, “Yes Jensen I will have you.”

He kissed me gently and I remembered I was going to tell him.

“Jensen, you are one amazing kisser.”

He gave me a shit eating grin which lit up his whole face as it reached his eyes and said, “You wait and see what else I can with my mouth,” with his eyebrows raised.

I blushed as there was a knock on the door.

Jared said, “Y/N you up? Is Jensen in there with you?”

I said, “Come in Jared” Jensen was doing up my buttons before they opened the door and he laid back in the bed holding me in his arms.

Jared and Misha both walked in and noticed the shifted in Jensen and my relationship.

Jared said, “Hi Y/N, Jensen.”

I said, “Hi Jared and Misha.”

Jensen just nodded at both in greeting.

Misha said, “Hi Y/N.”

I said, “Are you going somewhere?”

Misha said, “Jared and I are going for a run Adelaide's a beautiful city and a run along the river Torrens looks beautiful.”

Jared was trying to work out why Jensen was in my bed.

I noticed and said, “I was having a bad nightmare he came in to see if I was alright. I asked him to stay with me for comfort to keep them at bay.”

Jensen said, “I held her until she was asleep and this morning we kissed.”

They could see my swollen lips from kissing Jensen.

I said “It was nice but I asked Jensen to stop as I'm not ready for anything else. Plus, I've only known you all for what one day.”

Jared said, “Just don't rush into anything you've been through a lot.”

Jensen said “I wouldn't force her into anything we have spoken and agreed to take it slow. I want Y/N to know me first before will do anything.”

Jared said “Good I'm glad you both talked about it. It's nice seeing your happy Princess.”

I said, “Thanks Jared.”

Misha said, “We better get going we will be back soon.”

They left and I kissed Jensen until he relaxed in my arms.

 

I was leaning on his chest when I said, “Jensen I care a lot about you,” as I turned to look at him, “you have made my life better it doesn't seem so dark and foreboding all the time. I don't feel so alone you saved me Jay.

He looked at me and smiled so I continued as my life story poured out of me. “When I was a child my parents were great and they loved me. But when I reached my 4th birthday everything changed my Dad lost his job after a work injury. He never really recovered from the injury. My Mum worked her job as well and she had to leave to care for us both. We barely had enough money to paid the bills. Anyway, our life changed for the worst that day. I think Mum started resenting him and me as she had no freedom.

 As I grew I could see the hate and his growing towards me and each other. I just didn't know why she just never left it wasn't until they died I found out Dad had a very big life insurance but it was stated she had to stay with him to get it. When they died, I used all of it to paid their mountain of debts and funerals there was nothing left.

As I got older when they would get angry at each other they would use me as a punching bag.” I pointed to my knee “this isn't the first time I had a broken knee it's been broken what 5 times before as well as my wrists, arms, legs and my ribs and a couple of broken fingers due to their violence. I also have numerous scars as I pulled up my shirt and turned so he could see the scar running down my back.

They used to cut me until I was unconscious and need stitches which they had a friend of the family do. I was basically a dog to them and that's how they treated me. I was fed with their scraps most days or nothing at all. The only time I got away is when I actually went to school. I wasn't allowed to go while I was injured which was most of the time. If I told anyone what they were doing they had hurt me more and lock me in my room.

I would be in dirty filthy clothes that were ripped and beyond repair. The kids were cruel and mean to me because of the way I looked.

The teachers didn't care as I slipped through the cracks. The kids were nasty as I never had anything nice to wear to school. I had no lunch at lunch time while they had food to eat I was being cornered in the toilets and they would take turns in hitting me. I never made a sound when they hit me as it was only an extension of my parents. I had tears streaming unbidden down my face as Jensen listened and tears were flowing freely down his face also. So, I learnt to hide from the kids at school but they always found me.

One day I was hiding under the trees on the oval and I flinched at the memory. I took a deep breath and Jensen grabbed my hand and stroked my cheek to let me know he was there.

They found me and ripped at my clothes which were already in tatters. I was standing their trying to protect myself from what was coming. They beat me until I was unconscious while I could hear them laughing then the world went black. They left me there in the trees unconscious I was bruised, battered and broken. I was small and very petite and I had no body fat for protection. I was very thin as I wasn't getting enough to eat. When I finally woke, I had a few broken ribs and a bloody nose when I got home my mother saw me and they beat me until there was nothing left I wanted to die.

You have to understand they chipped away at me like I was a mirror and I started to splinter each time they hit me until finally I shattered like broken glass the shards ripping at me. I felt worthless, hopeless, ashamed, I felt alone. I tried to fight back but I couldn’t, I felt like I deserved everything I got. It shattered my will to live and I just couldn't keep going. I was 8 fucking years old when I tried to kill myself as I rub my wrist where the scar was. Jensen looked he never noticed the scars before but it was faded and not so noticeable.

These kids were 7 – 8 years old and they were beating me as I took the beating I wonder what their lives were like if they had a loving home and family and how could that do this to me. I blotched the attempt I didn't cut deep enough I only grew weak from the loss of blood I was only 8 years old. I also tried running away a few times but I was always returned and they would lock me in my room and beat me more. I never fought back as I thought I deserved everything I got I never knew anything different with the put downs and the beatings. Everything they told me I thought was true.

As I grew school became more of a horror show for me as I was beaten and I was a quiet person. I also tried to commit suicide several times I swiped some of my father’s medications to use it was less messy and they wouldn't know I've taken them.

 I felt like nothing a nobody. I had no one who cared if I live or died. I had no friends, the teachers at school treated me like I didn't exist. My parents called me lazy, worthless no hoper, fat yet I had nothing to eat, stupid, loser bitch and I should never have been born. That one was my favourite so I took them at their word and try to kill myself. You know how hard it is for child of 8 to feel that much hatred and anger and know that you are not wanted it broken me. I became quiet and timid I didn't talk to anyone or felt comfortable around people so I kind of shut off the world.

So, as I looked in the mirror each day I saw it cracking and splinter as I lost apart of myself until it finally shattered and there was nothing left to hold me together. He sat quietly listening to me he knew not to stop me while I was telling him otherwise I wouldn't.

 I never understood why they just never let me die. One day my mother told me I was there to be their play thing, their punching bag. The school did ask about my numerous absentees but mother always told them I had to help her with my father. When someone come out and check and I had a broken arm and a black eye my father told them I fell over the steps outside. They always had an excuse when anyone poked around.

 I remember this one time at high school a girl stood up for me when I was about to be beaten. You know what they did to her they humiliated her in front of everyone she never helped me again but they made her hurt me. I saw the pain in her eyes but she didn't want to feel that humiliation again.

I was never shown any kindness, nor love, I've never had a boyfriend or any kind of relationship. No one's ever cared enough about me to give a damn. When my parents died in the car crash you know I fucking felt relived. I was finally free of them and there abuse but it still haunts me as the damage has already being done.

 

The other day when I hung up you were right I was going to kill myself I had the bottle of pills in my hand. I was having a really difficult day I just wanted the pain to stop. I didn't want to feel like this anymore it hurts too much.

He moved on the bed and hugged me tight I could feel his tears falling on my shirt. I pulled away but he still held me close as I still didn't make eye contact “you know why I didn’t, I watched the live feed we had done on Face book. I saw how happy you all were to talk to me. It made me feel good for the first time in my life. I finally have people who cares what happens to me. I couldn't do it I finally found some hope. I finally felt loved and had you all looking out for me and cares what happens to me. I finally have a chance at a real life with love and no abuse. You all saved me and for that I'm the luckiest person in the world.”

 

He wiped my tears that had been flowing unchecked down my face while he hears about my fucked-up life. I didn't look at him while I was telling him it hurt to see his pity. He looked at me and moved my chin so I was looking into his tear-filled eyes and I saw no pity I only saw pain and sadness. His beautiful forest green eyes were glistening with tears as he showed me I was loved by him. I wiped the tear that fell from his left eye and then another fell from his right as he blinked the tears away and he then pulled me into another hug as he stroked my hair gently to help me relax and I felt safe and comforted in his arms.

"Jensen, I never thought myself beautiful or even pretty. All I saw was a broken, abused shell of a person. I felt like I was drowning and didn't know how to swim to the surface to get air. After being told your whole life you’re an ugly, good for nothing no hoper and a worthless bitch I felt nothing I was and empty shell. My parents weren't good on giving praise and encouraging good self-esteem. So, when you all came into my life it took me a lot to get use of you all calling me beautiful my body isn't what you would say beautiful Jensen.”

He whispered in my ear “You are in my eyes, Jared's and Misha's too don't ever doubt that. Baby I will always be here for you. You will never be alone again or abused. You must be kind and gentle on yourself Y/N. I promise you I will give you the life you always deserved and the love you always hoped for. Will you let me show you?”

 

Then Jared and Misha walked into my room and I never got to finish what I was saying. They both looked at us and saw how upset we both were they knew something had happen. They came over to my bed and Misha said, “are you ok Y/N, Jensen?”

I pulled out of Jensen's hug and wiped my eyes as Jensen did his.

I said, “yes everything fine.”

Jared said, “you sure you both look upset.”

I grabbed both Jared's and Misha's hands and looked at Jensen's sad face and said, “thank you all for saving me and showing me people do care for one another.”

They both hugged me and both looked at Jensen and he gave them a tell you later look.

I pulled away and said, “I better get ready can you please help me into the bathroom Jensen.”

He said, “sure baby.”

Jared and Misha decided they would go get cleaned up too while I was in the bath. Jensen got the hot tub ready and helped me in. I was still feeling a little self-conscious about him seeing me naked.

He said, “call me when you want to get out ok baby” and gave me a long lingering kiss.

He went to his room and showered quick and put on the last of his clothes.

Misha and Jared were sitting on the lounge waiting for an explanation. So, Jensen sits down next to them and he sighed a heavy sigh as he told them about my life. Both had tears flowing down their faces and the anger was bubbling up inside them. He told them how I felt shattered and despair and had no hope. To them everything seemed to click into place the threadbare clothes, the hardly eating, the haunted look on my face.

Jared spat out, “I wish they were alive I would kill them myself.” Jared normally the calm one of the group actually wanted to physically hurt another person.

Misha said in his casual way, “it's a shame we couldn't kill them again.”

Jensen said with much more anger than he intended, “yeah I had the same thought while she was telling me. I was thinking maybe we can get her something to remind her of us and how much we care for her?”

Misha said, “like what?”

Jared said, “how about a necklace with a heart.”

Jensen said “yeah and we can get it engraved. Always keep fighting with our names.”

Misha said, “how about we put pictures of ourselves in it for her too. To help her remember that she is loved by us and we care for her.”

Jensen said, “great idea Mish”

Jared said, “fuck what she's been through it's a miracle she's still here, so we have to give her as much support we can and show her we love her.”

 

I called out to Jensen and he helped me out of the bath and I got dressed in my clothes still wearing Jensen's shirt.

We ate breakfast as I noticed something had shifted in my relationship with them they were more comforting and supportive. As we talked they were careful not to bring up anything from my past. They talked about the future and how they were always going to be there for me.

After we finished breakfast we went for a walk down Rundle Mall and Jensen took up the place of wheeling me down and around the shops. Jensen, Jared and Misha noticed a nice ladies dress shop so Jared tapped Jensen's arm and he nodded. He wheeled me in there and I looked around at all the pretty amazing new clothes. He distracted me looking at a pretty purple dress while Jared and Misha talked with the ladies behind the counter.

I noticed and asked Jensen, “what's going on Jay?”

“We are buying you some nice new clothes. But before you say anything and get upset. We want you to have nice clothes and we want to do this for you, you need new clothes sweetheart.”

I knew I needed new clothes but I don't want their pity or their money so I told him.

“I can't Jay, I can't take your money or your pity.”

“It's not pity sweetheart we want to give you something nice you said you've never had any nice clothes, that you deserve to have and we so want to give them to you. Can you let us please?”

I saw the pleading in his eyes and said, “ok as long as I can pay you back.”

He's thinking to himself as if that's going to happen. I won't let you pay us back.

“There's no need really we can afford it, it's a gift from us to you ok," yeah that should do it no one can turn down a gift.

Jared said, “you can't turn down our gift it will hurt our feelings,” with the best puppy dog eyes ever.

“No one's given me a gift let alone anything new what can I say?”

Misha smiled and said, “how about yes”

“Yes, ok you are all wonderful too me thank you.”

 

The ladies stood there waiting for me to agree and then Jared introduced them as Pam and Jess.

I smiled and Misha said, “they will help you with everything ok get whatever you need no expense Jensen, Jared and I will pay for whatever you want ok.”

“Ok, where are you all going?”

Jensen said “sweetheart we all need new clothes too we only brought enough for a few days. As he looks at his shirt on my small frame and I blush. So, will you be ok on your own for a while you have own numbers if you need us. We will be shopping in the Mall.”

“Sure, Pam and Jess can help me into my clothes. I will be fine, it's alright I feel comfortable.”

Jensen kissed me quickly while Misha and Jared kissed the top of my head.

“See you soon Y/N," Jared said.

They left and Pam said, “you're one lucky person their Y/N having three incredible gorgeous men willingly to buy you anything.”

I smiled and said, “Yeah I am, they're great.”

Jess said, “Y/N?"

I looked at her and said, “are they Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, and Misha Collins.”

“Yep sure are.”

She was very impressed that I had them as friends and I was damn proud too.

Pam said, “we better get started they will be back before you get finished.”

 

Jensen, Jared, and Misha all put hats and sunglasses on to semi hide who they were. I thought they looked funny as I laughed at the hats they wore but they didn't care they wanted to remain unseen so I wouldn't be hassled by paparazzi. They walked down the Mall no one took any interest in them. They found a men's clothes shop about half way down the Mall and they had what they wanted even clothes to fit moose size of Jared.

They brought a lot more clothes than they needed but they didn't care. They asked for them to be delivered to the hotel and continued their walk down the Mall. They found a Graham's jewellery store and they were met by a nice woman asked if they needed any help and Jensen said, “yes thank you ma'am”

She said, “you may call me Yvonne”

Jensen said “thank you Yvonne we are (pointing to Jared and Misha) looked for a heart necklace for a very special lady in our lives. It has to be big enough to be engraved.”

“I have the prefect one for you follow me.”

She showed them and their faces lit up and Jared said, “that's perfect. Can we get it engraved here also?”

She said, “hang on a minute I will check?”

Jensen moved around the store looking at other things while he waiting as did Misha and Jared. Jensen saw something that caught his eye and decided he was going to come back and get it later.

Yvonne came back and said, “sorry we don't do engraving here," she looked sad.

Misha said, “can you tell us where we can please?”

She smiled and said, “yes of course there an engraver just maybe four or five shops down the Mall,” and pointed the direction.

Misha said, “thank you."

Jensen paid for the necklace and they headed towards the engraver they noticed a photo booth along the way so they got the photos done to take them as well.

They arrived a short time later and explain to the man what they wanted the heart to say and add the photos he told them it may be at least 15 minutes before he could get it done.

So, they left to go get some coffee and the three of them sat down in a quiet part of the centre. They were talking quietly as people passed them some looked twice but continued. One very shy little girl of maybe 3 came over to them with her doll and talked to Jensen. He smiled at her and she handed him her doll.

He asked her questions about the doll. Then he mother came running over and grabbed her daughter. The little girl started to cry as Jensen bend down to give her doll back. Her mother looked at him and then looked at Jared and Misha and apologised for her behaviour.

Jensen said, “no it's fine I would have been worried my daughter was talking to three strange men.”

Then she realised who they were and what they were doing in Adelaide. She got all flustered suddenly and stumbled over her words.

Jensen smiled at her as Jared said, “she was ok we would never hurt her.”

She gave them a small smile and then finally found her words. The little girl had stopped crying when Jensen gave her doll back.

She said, “sorry I didn't mean to offended you but with the way the world is now you can't be too careful. I don't want anything to happen to my little girl.

"I'm Aeryn and this little muffin is Hope.”

Jensen shook Aeryn's hand and then Hope's as Aeryn shook Jared and Misha's. Then Aeryn noticed Hope was holding her arms out for Jensen. Jensen looked pleased and had a huge grin as she handed Hope to Jensen. The little girl sat comfortable in his arms.

Aeryn said, “she never normally goes to strangers. She must really like you.”

Jared said, “yeah all the girls like Jensen,” with a wink.

Jensen said, “shut up Jared.”

Misha said, “I think they are adorable.”

Aeryn said, “may I take a picture Jensen?”

He said. “sure."

So, he turned them both around towards her mother and she took a couple of pictures. Then she asked if she could get pictures with them also. They agreed and she said, “thank you.

Jensen still had Hope in his arms when she said, “we better get going. Thank you again for looking out for Hope.”

Jensen said, “your welcome Aeryn.”

She said, “it was nice meeting you and I love Supernatural it's a great show.”

They said, “thank you” in unison.

Then they left and Jared said, “who's wants a baby?”

Jensen looked at Jared with daggers but his eyes had a twinkle in them.

Misha said, “I think you would be a wonderful amazing Dad Jensen look how you handled Hope. She was quite taken with you.”

He said, “yeah maybe one day.”

He was thinking about me and how he would love to have a baby with me and how he really wanted me permanently in his life.

He said, “come on the necklace should be finished and Y/N's probably wondering where we are.”

So, they went to collect the necklace and thanked and paid the engraver.

With their clothes being shipped back to the hotel they didn't need to carry anything Jensen put the necklace in his pocket so I would not see it.

They arrived back at the ladies’ shop that I was at. I was standing with Jess's help in a dark blue dress which set off my eyes. I also had a long braid done in my hair which went half way down my back.

Jess smiled at me and said, “Look”

I turned to where she said and the three of them stood there with their mouth agape and huge smiles on their faces. Jensen's eyes lit up at the sight of me as he looked me up and down.

Jensen said, “baby you look incredible. You look absolutely fucking gorgeous sweetheart. Wow look at your eyes their beautiful.”

“You like it?”

Jensen licked his bottom lip then bit down on it. Yes, he liked it very much. Jensen noticed my eyes and that's what we wanted him to notice. I smiled at Jared and Misha.

“Baby you are the hottest thing I've ever seen.”

Misha said, “Y/N you look beautiful.”

Jared said, “if I wasn't already happily married I definitely would have asked you. You are stunning Y/N.”

I said, “thank you” as I blushed.

Jensen couldn't take his eyes off me so Jared paid the account and asked if everything could be taking to our hotel.

Pam said, “yes I can arrange that should be they’re within half hour Y/N.”

I turned slightly as Jess still held me and said, “thank you Pam for everything.”

She said, “my pleasure to have a wonderful customer like you Y/N.”

Jensen came over and held me in his arms just looking into my eyes. I felt all warm and I wanted to kiss him. I lend up and he bend down and I kissed him on the lips and the kiss was heated and he wanted to deepen it but Misha cleared his throat breaking the spell.

He then helped me into my chair as Jess pushed it behind me. I sat down as he fussed over my legs and he looked up and dazzled me with the look on his face. He was happy almost serene and I couldn't help but return the look.

I said, “thank you again” to both Pam and Jess.

I wiggled my finger to get Jensen to bend down and whispered in his ear.

“Can you please do a selfie with Jess and asked Jared and Misha she is big fan of the show and was a really good helping to me today.”

He smiled and whispered back, “I'm on it baby.”

Jared and Misha wondered what I was whispering about when Jensen said, “Jared, Mish I need you help for a minute?”

They looked wondering what he was talking about.

He said, “Jess can you come here please.”

She did and he asked for her phone and then got Jared to take the picture and then Jared and Misha worked out what I have asked Jensen. So, they also took one with Jess. Then they took a group picture with all of us.

Jared said, “you can put that one on your wall if you want?”

Pam said, “that's very nice of you.”

Jess said, “thank you Y/N.”

I said, “your welcome Jess.”

Then Jess hugged me and said, “thank you” to me, Jensen, Jared and Misha.

I said “goodbye.”

Then we left the store it was still early so Jensen wheeled me to Elder Park with Jared and Misha close behind and we sat on down on a bench and just relaxed.

“Baby,” I love it when he calls me that makes me feel special, loved, and most of all wanted.

“Hmm?"

I was sitting on the bench next to Jensen and Jared I was resting my head-on Jensen's shoulder just watching people going by. No one was paying us any attention which was nice. It was peaceful and quiet. He turned slightly so he could look at me. Jared and Misha were looking also.

I said, “what's up?”

He said, “we” pointing at Jared and Misha “were talking and we would very much like to know if you would like to come back to Canada with us. We want to support and help you with your broken leg and help get your life sorted out.”

He had hold of my hands “and show you how much we care about you and help you feel love and wanted. Please come with us, let us be there for you. If you want you can get your own place and we can be your support network. Jared and Gen, Mish and Vicky and me and my Mum will you let us? If you want you can stay with me or one of us until your settled. We can find you a job on set or anything you want to do. Sky the limit here, anything. I know that we really want to be here for you Y/N.”

Jared said, “Princess we want to help you by returning your kindness you have shown us and I know I really want to help you too. Plus, my wife will kick my ass if we didn't at least try to get you to come back with us.”

I chuckled at that a 6 foot 4-inch man scared of his petite wife.

Misha said, “we have grown to care about you very much Y/N and we want to be there for you.”

I said, “that's nice but I don't want to be a burden or make you feel obligated to me that not what I wanted. That's what I feel I am a burden and an obligation.”

Jensen said, “you are not a burden or an obligation sweetheart you are never going to a burden to any of us, we want you to come. We know how hard this change will be for you but you have nothing here and we can be there for you every day to help you. We can see you instead of calling and I feel better seeing you baby. Please I don't know if I could go back without you baby.”

“Can I think about it!'

“Sure, but we have to leave in a few days we have to get back or we will be out of a job.”

“Ok."

 

Jared said, “I'm getting hungry you want to go grab something to eat.”

I said, “sure there's a pizza place in Hindley Street or McDonald’s if you want that.”

Misha said, “pizza sound's good.”

Jensen said, “yep love me some pizza.”

We all headed to the pizza place in Hindley Street and they ordered several pizzas and Jared ate a whole family size on his own. I had a few pieces but my mine was lost to what  Jensen had asked me.

 

They noticed I was quiet but didn't push for me to talk with them. They talked about the show and how they thought the season would end and what they will do when they get home. I heard me name mentioned every time Jensen said something he included me with hope sounding in his voice. I smiled to myself when I heard he was making plans that included me.

When we finished, we headed back to the hotel and all our clothes were waiting for us as we entered our room. Jensen carried all my clothes in and put them on the floor for me to go through later. He said to himself mental note buy lots of luggage for Y/N clothes and smiled to himself.

I sat on the bed and changed into his shirt he gave me to wear the first day. Shit was that only yesterday it felt like months ago. He told me I could kept it as I looked good in his shirt even though it was way too big for me. I loved the smell of Jensen on it as it had a calming effect on me. I said, “goodnight” to them all on my crutches and went to bed. I was wiped, it has been a very exhausting day but I felt good and hopefully for the time ever.

Jensen said, “Jared, Mish can I spend some time on my own with Y/N tomorrow. I would like to give her our necklace we got for her but do you mind if I do it alone?”

Jared said, “Dude we can see you have developed feelings for her. It's cute how you protect her and are with her almost all the time. No, I don't mind Jay.”

Misha said, “Jay do what you need to do buddy if it makes you and Y/N feel better I am ok with it.”

Jensen said, “Thanks you guys.”

Then they all sat down and watch a couple of movie and they talked about what they will do when they got home. Jensen was wondering if I would agree to go with them or not? All he knew he couldn't lose me not now he is in love with me.

Misha said, “I'm heading to bed but I will call Vicky and talk to my kids. See you in the morning.”

Jared said, “yeah I might to go call Gen and talk with the boys. Night Jay.”

He said, “Night Misha and Jared.”

Jensen had a thought he will ring his Mum.

He waited until she picked up.

“Hi Mum.”

“Hi Doodlebug! How's things going with Y/N?” He rolled his eyes at the nickname.

“Good Mum I'm going to buy her a promise ring tomorrow to give her something to hope for and look forward too. I know she feels the same Mum I see it every time she looks at me it's in her eyes Mum.”

“That sounds wonderful honey have you picked one out yet?”

“Yes, I have I going to go buy it tomorrow for her. But I rang to ask you and maybe you could ask Gen to help you. I would like you to set up my spare room for Y/N. Can you do it in her favourite colour purple and can you get some purple roses for her also?”

“So, she's agreed to come back with you then?”

“Not yet but after I give her the ring I'm hoping she will come back with us.”

“Doodlebug I know you really want this but don't be disappointed if she said no. She is basically moving to a new country and with people she barely even knows. I will if she comes, make her feel welcome and Gen and Vicky will too. But she will feel strange in this country Jensen.”

“I know Mum that's why I want the room set up I'm not going to force her to sleep in my bed. She can have her own space and feel no pressure.”

“Ok Jensen I will see what Gen and I can do?”

“Thanks Mum.”

“Let me know if she is coming back home with you and when you’re getting back I will meet you at the airport. Don't forget to ring Clif and let him know too. I know he will want to take you home.”

“Ok will do. Love you Mum.”

“Love you too bye.”

“Bye.”

Jensen got ready for bed and then he climbed in my bed with me and pulled me into his arms.

I mumbled “Jay."

“Yeah baby go back to sleep,” he said and kissed my head as he too drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Next chapter more fluff and fun. Trust building and Jensen is a sweetie.


	3. The Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen makes the reader a promise. Reader starting to enjoy life with Jensen, Jared and Misha.  
> Reader feels support and has fun with Jared and Misha.  
> Jensen gives the reader a present with the promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jensen gives the reader a gift and a promise. This chapter is basically tooth rotting fluff. But Jensen, Jared and Misha are adorable.  
> Reader is getting more comfortable with Jensen.  
> They express their love, hopes and dreams to each other.  
> This is just a beautiful chapter.
> 
> No real warnings on this chapter. Maybe nudity and Jensen's strip tease.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it? Thank you for reading my story. Leave a comment.
> 
> Unbeta all mistakes are my own.

I was whimpering and thrashing in my sleep when Jensen woke and was trying soothe me until I settled back into a deep sleep.  
He looked worried but he decided he would talk to me later and went back to sleep.

He awoke thinking he had to get back to the jewellers before our dinner tonight.

I started to stir next to him and opened my Y/E/C eyes looking into forest green eyes. I thought could he get any more handsome but I was wrong he looks even more gorgeous with his short dirty blonde hair all sleep tossed and his face lit up with a huge smile like he was seeing me for the first time ever. It was quite endearing as he made me feel like the only person on the planet. His lips soft and pink as his tongue swiped over his bottom lip. His eyes shone with happiness and had a devious sparkle behind them.

“Morning Jay.”

“Morning baby, sleep well?”

"No I had a nightmare didn't I?.”

"Yes baby you did. I settled you back down. You want to talk about it?"

"I was back there in my room and my Mum was hitting me."

"I know it's hard but your safe Y/N. I am always here for you ok."

"Thanks Jensen. Can I ask you something if I go back with you? Can I get some counselling."

"I think that would be a good idea baby. I will go with you for support."

"Thank you Jensen." He decided it was enough to know I was asking for help. So he decided to ask me on a date to make me feel better.

“Y/N sweetheart,” grabbing my hand, “will you go on a date with me tonight?”

“What a date.... I've never....”

“It will be ok, we will be great together. Please let me show you all the firsts you missed. First with a date?”

  
I swallowed nervously, “ok Jay you can be my first date.”

  
“Don't be scared I will be with you the whole time. I want to see if we can eat in the restaurant here in the hotel. How does that sound, not to scary?”

  
“It's sounds nice. Will Jared and Misha come too?”

  
“No just us," a little disappointed that I wanted them to come too.

  
I saw his disappointment on his face and said, “that's good because I want to spend some time alone with you too Jay.”

  
His face grew a huge grin and he said, “really?”

  
I laughed and said, “yes really” and kissed him. I rubbed my hand along his jaw and his two-day growth was sexy and his face was sprinkled with freckles that look like little angel kisses. I want to kiss them all and decided to do so, so I kissed the ones near his mouth.

  
“What are you doing?”

  
“Kissing your angel kisses.”

  
“What?” with a huge grin

  
“Your freckles I want to kiss them all. They look like angel kisses dust on your face.”

  
He smiled and chuckled and let me continue my exploration of his freckles. I dipped down passed his face and kissed his pulse point I nipped gently and he hummed.

  
“Returning the favour, you belong to me Jay now and forever.”

  
“I would like that.”

  
He dipped his head so our mouths were kissing desperately we both felt a new hunger growing inside of us. As our tongues explored the other's mouth intimately. It was a wonderful feeling to be kissed with so much passion and want.

  
We finally pulled away both panting for air as we try to regain our breaths.

  
“Whoa he taught you how to kiss?”

  
I laughed, “No one you would know. My boyfriend taught me, you know I'm cheating on you with another man, don't you?”

  
“Wow his one lucky man to teach you how to kiss like that. Maybe I should have words with him and tell him your mine.”

  
I giggled as he went along with my joke.

  
“Sorry but I only have eyes for one man he is gorgeous, caring, loving, and has shown me how much I mean to him.”

  
“He is willingly to show you the world too, and now, everything in it and give you everything you deserve too. Your it for him too, he knew the first time he saw you, you were the one he would give his heart too.”

  
“I felt the same too. The first time I saw you on Supernatural I thought wow you were this really hot guy way out of my league. That you were either married or gay but I kept my dreaming and had my fantasies about meeting you and hoped to get to know you. I never dreamed I would be here in bed with you. Jay your it for me too. I want to give you everything too.”

  
He kissed me and rubbed his thumb over my face and said, “you know I'm not gay or married and I too hoped to meet the right women too. I didn't think I was ever going to find the right person to give my heart too. Then I meet you and you were so broken and fragile I knew then you were the one.

I felt things for you I never felt for anyone else it scared me at first, as I wasn't sure how to deal with what I was feeling. The more I saw you and how much you needed our help I was falling harder for you. I also think we all have dreams, that's what keeps us alive and give us hope. Long as you had hope you kept on fighting even with all the abuse and heartbreak it was the dream to one day meet me that kept you going.

I am the luckiest man alive because I meet you and you showed me how caring and loving you can be like. I know this is hard for you to show any kind of love but I am very grateful you chose me and are willing to show me sweetheart. I'm glad that we chose you and came here to Australia you are becoming my everything baby.”

  
He kissed me gently we better get up before they come knocking on the door.

  
I smiled “Jay I never thought I would be this lucky and I'm glad you all came to Australia too. Jay, thank you.”

I looked into his eyes for a brief moment before I cleared my throat and said, “Ok, you want to help me into the bath.”

  
“Of course, I will help you.”

  
“It's not like you haven't seen me naked before Jay.”

  
He gave me a shit eating grin as he has seen me naked.

  
“You have a bath and I will have a shower how's that sound.”

  
“Ok I will call when I finish.”

  
“Can I use your shower?”

  
“Oh, of course.”

  
“I will go run your bath come in when you’re ready?”

  
He grabbed the crutches and put them next to me and went and turned on the bath.

  
I hobbled into the bathroom as the tub finished filling he said, “you ready Baby?”

  
I shook my head yes as he undid my shirt button by button, god it felt so sexy.

  
He looked at me and smirked, “you like that baby.”

  
I blushed as he continued to unbutton my buttons. He pulled the shirt down my shoulders as I held onto him for support as he took the crutches and lean them against the wall. He tossed it aside and bent down to remove my brace and panties. He pulled them down slowly and told me to sit on the side of the tub and he removed them and tossed them on top of his shirt. He then lifted me bridal style and gently lowered me into the tub.  
Then he waited until I was comfortable before moving towards the shower I grabbed his arm.

  
“Baby,” with eyebrows raised.

  
I pulled him down and I kissed him sweetly on the lips.

  
“I'm not going to make it to the shower if you don't let me go.”

  
I smiled and he walked away again I grabbed his arm and pulled him down for another sweet kiss. He knew what I was doing now and decided that he would kiss me longer until I was out of breath. I felt the air being sucked out of my lungs as he deepens the kiss. I felt a strange electricity run through my veins I felt it every time Jensen kissed me I knew it was right that we were together.

  
I finally pulled away I was panting for breath with my lips swollen from our kiss he gave me a quick smirk then moved off towards the shower across the room. I watched him take of his shirt, he made sure to make a show of it. I couldn't help but laugh at his antics. He slowly pulled the T-shirt over his head and threw it at me I caught it before it landed in the water. Then he slowly pulled his pyjamas pants down a bit at a time. I saw his stomach was thin but tight with muscle, as was his arms that flexed when he continued his strip tease. He pulled them all the way down taking his boxers with it. I looked at his muscular frame and his legs were slightly bowed and he had muscles in his thighs he was one good looking man. His cock was big and but soft hanging down between his legs.

  
He said when he saw me staring “you like what you see Baby?”

  
I felt flushed and blushed from my toes to my face. He laughed at me and I said, “yep” in a whisper.

  
He came over then and whisper in my ear "I like you too."

  
He laughed a hearty laugh as he climbed in the shower. I felt hot and it wasn’t the water. I needed a cold bath so I turned the cold tap on and splashed some on my face to cool myself down. I thought wow and he is all mine I'm one lucky person.

  
He started singing in the shower and I knew the song it was my favourite song I heard him sing before on you tube it was the chorus to Simple Man. I sat in the tub just listening to him sing he did really have and amazing voice. I heard him open the shampoo and conditioner bottles and put them both on his hair at once. Then I heard him drop the soap and heard him curse son-of-a-bitch. I had to chuckle at that. I washed myself and I try to wash my sore leg but gave up I was in a bubble bath anyway so I did worry too much. Jensen finished his shower and turned it off and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist. I was a bit disappointed but I knew we had to get dressed.

  
“You ready to get out Y/N?”

  
“Yep can you help me please.”

  
He lifted me with no effort at all. He let me slide down the length of his body until my feet touched the ground then held me there as he wrapped the towel around me. Then lifted me again and sat me on the bed.

  
“Can you manage while I get dressed?”

  
“Yes, I will be fine everything is right in reach.”

  
So, he went to his room to put some clothes on I had decided on a pale blue shirt and a skirt that matched. I put on blue bra and panties. Then I sat their brushing my long strawberry blonde hair and I tied it into a braided. I got up with the crutches and hobbled out into the main room. Jared and Misha had ordered breakfast for us all and was sitting talking. Jared saw me and his face lit up with a smile, Misha saw me and his did as well.

  
Jared said, “let me help you Princess.” I smiled at the endearment only Jensen and Jared called me by an endearment. Misha called me his minion which always got a smile.

  
Jared came over and said, “morning Princess sleep well?”

  
I said, “morning Jared I did thank you," they didn't need to know about the nightmare.

  
Misha said, “minion how are you today?”

  
I said, “really good and you my Overlord Sir.”

  
He smiled a full-face smile and said, “I fine thank you minion."

  
I had to laugh then and so did Jared and Misha that's when Jensen walked in.

  
He said, “what's so funny?”

  
I said, “nothing just our Overlord here.”

  
He looked at Misha and said, “Overlord?”

  
I said, “yes remember my message to Misha about him being my Overlord and our superior being?”

  
He said, “yes why?”

  
I said, “well he asked me his minion how I was today, so I thought I would continue the joke and answered him as my Overlord.”

  
Jensen knew what I had texted back to Misha and then he smiled and said, “no he's not your Overlord but I know someone wanting the job.”

  
I blushed and turned away and looked at our breakfast.

  
Jared and Misha looked and laughed. While Jensen smirked.

  
Jensen got us both some breakfast and we sat and ate with Jared and Misha.

 

Jensen said “Jared, Misha domyou mind helping Y/N today. I got a few things I need to do before our date tonight.”

  
I said, “Jensen I will be fine.”

  
Jared said, “we will look out for her Jay.”

  
Misha said, “yes maybe we could go for a walk down along the Torrens and have some lunch in the park.”

  
I said, “sounds nice Misha.”

  
Jared said, “there's that's settled we be ok, Jay.”

  
I smiled as he finished his breakfast as I picked at mine like I normally do.

 

Jared said, “eat up Y/N we have a big day planned.”

  
I looked wondering what he was talking about. I ate a few more mouthfuls and drank some orange juice which I didn't like very much.

  
I said, “I've had enough. What are we doing today?”

  
Misha said, “it's a surprise?”

  
I said, “Jay do you know?”

  
He said “no I don't baby. I better get going if I want to be ready for our date later." He kissed me on the lips, “see you later.”

  
I smiled and he left and I looked at Jared and Misha. Misha had my wheelchair and Jared lifted me into it.

  
I said, “ok what's going on?”

  
Jared said, “wait and see?”

  
I huffed and they both laughed.

  
He wheeled me out of the hotel and towards the Torrens and I saw all these people walking and running along the river. It was the most incredible thing I've seen. I have lived here my whole life and never seen the Torrens before. The water looked dirty but the swans and ducks like it. It had beautiful hanging trees on the side of the river and some bridges and the pop eyes were on the river.

Jared wheeled me over to one of the pop eyes and said, “Y/N we are going for a ride on the pop eye you said you'll never been on one so we want to take you.”

  
I said, “I can't Jared the wheelchair will be too hard to get on board.”

  
Jared lifted me into his arms bridal style and I shriek with the shock of being lifted and carried me on board and sat me on the seat nearest the water. Misha had folded the wheelchair and passed it to Jared and Jared put it behind our seat. He then paid for our tickets and sat next to me and Misha sat next to him.

I started to shiver he said, “Princess you alright?”

  
I said, “I'm a little cold.” He knew that I got cold very quickly so he wrapped his arms around me so I was leaning on his chest.

  
He said, “better.” Jared was like a heater he didn't feel the cold because of his big frame and height.

  
I said, “hmm thank you.”

  
He said, “your welcome Princess.”

  
The pop eye started down the river and moved towards the Weir. The Weir had water running from it. It was quite pleasant just relaxing against Jared and watching the scenery passing by. Then we headed the way we came and headed up the river. We saw the bridges and people crossing to get to various places in Adelaide. Then we passed the Adelaide zoo I've never been there either.

  
Misha said, “have you been to the zoo Y/N?”

  
I said, “no we never had the money to go.”

  
Jared said, “maybe we could come before we leave I know Jensen would want to come too.”

  
We continued down the river until we came to and over hanging tree it was the most beautiful tree I've ever seen. It must be at least 50 years old. It's long branches and green leaves I should have brought my phone and took a picture to show Jensen. Maybe next time he will be with us. Then the pop eye turned and headed back to where we boarded the trip took about an hour and I really enjoyed it.

  
I said, “thank you Jared and Misha that was beautiful.”

  
Jared said, “is there anything else you want to see?”

  
I said, “there's a museum and art gallery here somewhere and botanical gardens too.”

  
Misha said, “we have the whole day to fill so why don't we ask someone for directions.”

  
Jared stopped the first person who walked by us and said, “excuse me can you please tell us where the art gallery, museum and botanical gardens are?”

  
The person said, “sure man there are all up on North Terrace. The art gallery is next to the library and the museum is next to the art gallery and the botanical gardens is way pass the hospital. It’s a fair walk down the road that way.”

  
Jared said, “thank you" and gave the guy a 20 for his trouble.

  
He said, “no you don't have to do that here. Glad to help.”

  
Misha said, “thank you.”

  
Then we headed towards the art gallery. It was a big, open bright place. The paintings were incredible.

  
Misha said, “do you paint Y/N?”

  
I said, “no but I draw. I'm not very good at it, but it helps me to focus and relax. I took it up when I moved out of my parent’s place. I couldn't always afford the paper or pencils but I made do.”

  
Misha said, “I would like to see your drawings someday.”

  
Jared said, “I would like to see them too?”

  
I said, “there are back at the house when I go back I will bring it and show you both.”

  
We finished at the art gallery and Jared was getting hungry so we found somewhere to eat. I asked for a meat pie with sauce and Jared and Misha decided to try it as well. They had sauce running down their faces and hands. I was laughing so hard I almost choked on my pie.

  
I said, “so how did you like it?”

  
Jared said, “that was nice and messy. But I think I might get another one would you like another one too or something to drink.”

  
I said, “maybe just something to drink please.”

  
Misha said, “I might get another one too and a coke.”

  
Jared walked over and asked for two more pies with sauce and got him and Misha a coke and me a lemonade.

  
We sat in quiet while they ate their second pie while I was still eating my first. I had eaten about ¾ of it and told Jared I had enough. He passed me my drink and a straw and I drank some of it. I did up the bottle and put it in my lap. Jared and Misha threw their garbage away and had a drink also and asked me to hold their drinks. I sat them all in my lap.

We headed to the museum and we explored the different levels. They had stuffed animals that were extinct. Dinosaur bones and rocks and mummy's and a gift shop I asked Jared if I could buy something for Jensen and we decide on this koala stuff animal. Then he looked at his phone and it was almost 4pm.

He said, “Y/N can we do the botanical gardens another day. It's almost 4pm and you have to get ready for your date with Jay.”

  
I said, “ok I'm really nervous Jared.”

  
We sat down for a moment and Jared said, “you don't have to be nervous Jay likes you a lot. If he hurts you we will kick his ass.”

  
I smiled and said “I really like him a lot too. What if I screw it up and he never wants to see me again?”

  
Misha said, “Jay's not like that, hey we screw up all the time and we are all still friends. He wouldn't do that to you and if he did, we would as Jared pointed out kick his ass.”

  
Jared said, “we wouldn't be the only ones, I know his Mum will too.”

  
Misha said he grabbed my hand, “your special to him Y/N. We can see how much he cares about you and he really wants you to come back with us, as do we.”

  
Jared said “I've seen Jensen with other women but he's never been like this with any of them. He is very protective of you and I know how much he cares about you, I see it in his eyes and the way he moves around you. Whenever you are in the room his eyes never leave you not for a second. I see he wishes your life was different and you never had to go through all that you have. He just wished he was there early to protect and help you. He was so heartbroken when you hang up. You know what he kept telling himself all the way on the plane and taxis ride to your house. “please by alright. I'm coming Baby, please be alright. He said it over and over to himself. Misha and I tried to comfort him by saying you would be fine but he had to see for himself. So, he really does care Y/N.”

  
I had tears flowing down my face as I never thought how Jensen, Jared or Misha was feeling when I turned my phone off and Jared wiped them away and gave me a hug.

  
I said, “I owe you all apology I should have left my phone on I'm so sorry for hurting you both.”

  
Misha said “we understood and were glad you were alright. But Jensen was on the verge of braking if he found you.......” he didn't finish the sentence.

  
I said “fuck I really need to say sorry to Jensen too. I promise I will never turn my phone off again if I am upset like that again.”

  
Jared said, “ok deal, but we are fine, now you’re ok and doing better.”

  
I said, “I am and it's thanks to you all.”

  
Misha said, “yes I am a good Overlord” breaking the tension.

  
I said, “I hope I don't let him down or you or Misha?”

  
Jared said, “everything will be fine promise. We better head back or Jensen will send out a search party wondering where his date is.”

  
I laughed a small laugh and we headed but to the hotel. We entered our room and Jensen was not back yet.

  
I said, “I need to take a bath I smelt like Jared's cologne," it was a nice smelt but I didn't want to smell like him. I put the water on and I tried to get in the bath on my own and I dropped the crutch as it banged to the floor. Jensen had arrived home and heard it. I was sitting on the toilet crying with my head down. He walked in and saw the tears.

  
“Hey! what's with the tears Y/N? Are you ok?”

  
“I can't even get in the bath on my own. I'm so useless and no good to anyone.”

  
I still had my head down when I felt his hands holding onto mine and he moved his hands so they were rubbing my arms.

  
“Look at me” as he lifted my chin up “you’re not useless you have a lot of empathy and compassion for people. You really got to be gentler on yourself like I've told you before. It will take some time to heal and when it does you will wonder what all this fuss was over. I am here I can help you into the bath.”

  
“I'm just really frustrated with myself because of my leg. I couldn't even get my bottom part of my clothes off.”

  
He smiled, “I know you are frustrated with yourself. But I am here for you always. Hey, I enjoy helping you” and gave me a wolfish grin.

  
I had to laugh then and said, “you are amazing you know that, don't you?”

  
“No but I do now thanks baby. Let's get you in the bath. We don't want you to be late for our date.”

  
I shook my head and he helped me finish undressing and lifted me into the bath. I have gotten so use of Jensen lifting me into the bath naked that I didn't feel any discomfort or embarrassment it felt natural to me to let him. It was as if we were supposed to meet and him helping me.

I wish he could be in my life forever. He was my comfort and support it felt good to have someone there for me. I know I've only know Jensen for what a couple of days but I feel like I known him for years watching him on Supernatural since day one. He has a gentle kind of way about him. He is different to the character he plays but sometimes they are also alike in other ways.

  
That grin was still on his face when he said, “want me to wash your back and anywhere else for you?”

  
“You can do my back but you need to get ready too.”

  
He washed me back and then when to wash my hair. I hadn't even thought to wash it. It was hanging lose down my back.

  
“Would you like me to wash your hair it kind of smells like Jared?”

  
“Jealous," with a giggle. He growled at me and I laughed and he laughed too then.

  
“Jared held me in his arms as I got cold on the pop eye today. Jared and Misha thought they would take me for a ride Jay. It was beautiful, can we go on it before we leave I would love to go on it with you. I felt warm when he held me you know he is like a heater don't you?”

  
Jensen laughed and said, “yes and he sweats a lot too that probably what I can smell.”

  
“Jay, you know you’re the only one I want. He just didn't want to see me shivering.”

  
“I will thank him and you’re the only one I want too,” he kissed me on my lips and continued to wash my hair. We used the hotel shampoo and conditioner it smelt like apples.

  
“Mm you smell like apples now.”

  
“Yep and thank you Jay.”

  
“Call me and I will come help you out. Now I've finished with your beautiful hair.”

  
“I will you better go get ready too.”

  
“Yes ma'am,” and left.

 

I had stayed in the bath another 10 minutes doing the necessary shaving and cleaning. I called Jensen who still hadn't had his shower yet. He lifted me out of the bath and wrapped a towel around me and handed me my crutches.

  
“You alright now? I'm going to go shower and I will wait for you outside.”

  
“Yes , I will be fine”

  
He left and Jared said, “she ok, Jay?”

  
Jensen said, “yeah and thanks for keeping her warm today Jared.”

  
He smiled and said, “my pleasure.”

  
Jensen said, “I've got to go shower and get ready for my date with a beautiful woman.”

I hobbled out of the bathroom on my crutches and sat on the bed and dried myself. I had decided on wearing a dark purple long chiffon dress we had it altered at the dress shop me being so short. But it still looks nice I decide to wear flat shoes as I wouldn't be able to walk in heels. I did my hair into a side braid that hang down the other side of my shoulder and I put a purple ribbon in my hair. I put on a bit of perfume and spray my body with body spray. I was going to put some make up on as it wasn't necessary so I just put some lick gloss on, as I still wasn't sure with the whole make up thing yet. I didn't worry about a bag as I didn't really need one. So, I opened my bedroom door and Jensen, Jared and Misha were standing there in awe of me. I hobbled out on the crutches and stopping just outside my door.

Jensen was in a tuxedo and he looked incredible gorgeous as they all were staring at me.

  
I said, “what you don't like it, I can change.”

  
Jensen cleared his throat with a huge smile on his face and said, “no he sighed you are fucking beautiful. These are for you," and handed me a bunch of purple roses and took one of my crutches so I could hold them.

  
“You look handsome to Jay and these are gorgeous thank you. How did you know the colour purple was my favourite colour?”

  
“Look at you it's definitely your colour plus I saw most of your clothes were either purple or blue” with a deep throaty laugh.

  
I laughed too and replied, “I never had a chance to choose my own clothes or colour of my clothes and I've always loved the colour purple."

  
Jared and Misha stood there waiting patiently for us to finish. Jared walked over and took the flowers from me, to put in a vase. Jensen handed me my other crutch as I had hold of his arm.

  
Misha said, “you look beautiful Y/N.”

  
Jared said, “wow you look incredible Princess.”

  
I blushed and said, “thank you.”

  
Jared said, “you didn't expect Jensen to clean up nicely too.”

  
I said, “I didn't have a doubt in my mind. He is very attractive you know” and I winked at him.

  
Jared laughed and said, “yeah I guess you knew.”

  
Jensen said with a huge grin on his face “you alright on them?”

  
I said, “not really I just wanted you all to see me standing in this beautiful dress you all brought for me.”

  
Misha got the wheelchair and Jensen and Jared helped me into it.

  
Misha smiled and said, “you kids have a great time and be home by midnight you have school tomorrow.”

  
Jensen scowled at Misha and Jared and I laughed.

  
I said, “see you soon Dad and Uncle Jared.”

  
Jensen laughed a whole body laugh and I couldn't help but giggled too.

  
Jared said, “have a good time Princess, Jensen.”

 

We left and went down the lift to the dining room. Jensen was wheeling me in and I noticed it was empty. I looked around as the waiter show us to our table.

  
He said “Mr Ackles your table is ready. Please follow me Sir, Ma'am.”

  
Jensen said, “thank you” as he wheeled me to the window where I could look at the lights over the river it looked very pretty all lit up.

  
The waiter whose name was Jason said, “let me know when you’re ready to order. Would you and the young lady like something to drink Sir?”

  
Jensen said, “yes thank you Jason I like a beer on tap and Y/N what would you like?”

  
I said, “I've never had alcohol before maybe just a lemonade thank you Jason.”

  
He said, “Of course I will be right back with your drinks and menus.”

  
I said, “he seems nice.”

  
Jensen said, “yes he does.”

  
I looked around and Jensen noticed and I said, “Jensen where is everyone?”

  
“Baby I thought you might be comfortable if it was just us and I wanted to be alone with you. So, I brought the whole place out for the night.”

  
I felt a blush creeping up my neck to my face. “you look really hot when you blush.”

  
I blushed even more and Jason picked the exact moment to come over with our drinks and menus.

  
He said, “your beer Sir and Ma'am your lemonade with a straw in it.”

  
I said, “thank you”

  
Jensen said, “thank you will let you know when we wish to order Jason.”

  
He said, “of course Sir.”

  
Jensen picked up the three white roses these are for you baby.”

  
I looked at them after I had a drink to cool myself down from the blush.

  
He said, “two are from Misha and Jared but the other is from me it means something to me?”

  
“What does it mean to you Jay?”

  
“It means to me how much I care for you and want you in my life baby.”

  
“I know you do. I see the way you look at me and your eyes follow me everywhere." He blushed this time boy did he looked hot with red cheeks. "I look at you the same way too Jay.”

  
“Shall we order?"

  
We picked up our menus and had a look what was on it. I thought I would stick with something I know but there was nothing on there I knew. Jensen saw my frown and said, “would you like me too order for you?”

  
“Please, I don't know any of this food?”

  
He laughs a soft laugh and had a gently look in his eyes. Jensen motioned for Jason to come take our orders.

  
He said, “yes Sir what would you both like to eat?”

  
Jensen said, “I will try the burger, fries and salad.”

  
He said, “yes Sir and the young lady what would she like Sir?”

  
“She will have pork roast, chips and salad on the side."

  
Jason said, “would she like gravy as well Sir?”

  
Jensen said, “ask her” with a smile.

  
He turned to me and asked, “would you like gravy on your pork Ma'am?”

  
I looked at Jensen who had a smirk on his face and he shook his head.

  
I said, “Yes please Jason.”

  
He said, “very good Ma'am, Sir it won't be to long” he collected the menus and headed for the kitchen.

  
I looked at Jensen who was still smiling and said, “Jensen tell me about yourself?”

  
“What would you like to know?”

  
“Tell me about your family Jay?”

  
His face lit up when he started to tell me he said, “I have a wonderful Mum and Dad. They both were really good parents and encouraged me to follow my dreams. I have an older brother and a younger sister."

  
“So, you’re the middle child.”

  
“Yeah I liked being the middle child as my brother took the blame whenever we got into trouble being the oldest.”

  
“What were your dreams and desires Jay?”

  
“You know I never ready thought about acting before I was going to go to University. I was going to do sports medicine and become physical therapist. But I decided to give acting a try and moved to LA to start my career. Well it went well and here I am now in a show which is in its 12 season and doesn't look like finishing any time soon. You know I use to do modelling too I started at age 4 and continue on and off. Until I landed my guest appearance in different shows then I landed the role on a major soap opera I still think it's going today. I like acting it fun and I get to meet new people and play different roles. I enjoy it I love playing Dean on Supernatural and Jared is really like a brother to me and Misha is my best friend. I will miss it when it finishes especially Dean. I've grown to love the character.”

  
“Yes, I will miss the show too, it was the only that kept me going, I identified some much with what the characters were feeling.”

  
“So, tell me about your dreams Y/N?”

  
I looked at him and he smiled and I said, “well one of them has come true. The other is I hope to be able to do someday, it's still a work in progress for me to work out the details.”

  
He looked waiting for me to tell him and I giggled “I would hopefully one day open a Organisation for abused kids to help with clothes and food and even accommodation if needs be. I don't want anyone to go through what I did if I can help them I will gladly.”

  
“That's amazing Y/N. It sounds like a really good idea you have the most compassionate heart baby.”

  
“I just hope I can get it off the ground one day?”

  
“You will, I will help you.”

  
“How?”

  
“I could help set up the Organisation and maybe we could talk to Misha and get him on board to and I know Jared will want to help as well.”

  
I never got to answer as our food came over. I looked at the plate it was stacked with more food than I could eat.

  
Jason put the plates down in front of us and I said, “thank you” as did Jensen.

  
We ate in silent for a bit Jensen watching me eat the pork and gravy while he cut his burger in half. I was really enjoying the meal and Jensen said, “want to switch meals so you can taste mine and I taste yours?”

  
“Ok now I really did like the look of his burger but I knew I wouldn't eat the amount of pork they put on my plate.”

  
“Sure.”

  
So, we changed plates Jensen tucked into my pork while I took little bites of his burger. He finished the plate while I was still a little way through his burger. I had cut it in half in case I couldn't eat it all.

  
“That was nice, you going to finish that?”

  
I laughed, “no, where do you put it all?”

  
“I'm a growing boy plus I love food. I hate to see it go to waste.”

  
I pushed my plate over to Jensen and he ate the rest of the burger while I nibbled on the chips on the side. He finished everything on both plates.

  
“Jensen tell me about the set and filming the show?”

  
“Well it's a very long day we could work anywhere from 10 – 12 hour days to get it finished plus we work almost 9 months of the year it's quite hectic at times” I looked at him and saw the worry and fear in my eyes. “hey, it will be ok if you come back with us. I will make sure you are safe and not alone. Jared and Misha can stay with you while I'm filming or you could watch and I will get Clif to sit with you or I could ask my Mum and Gen if you want. But I won't until you feel comfortable alright.”

  
“Won't I be in the way you won't have time for me. Maybe I should just stay here in Adelaide.”

  
“Look while we were out yesterday and you were getting your new clothes. Jared, Misha and I brought you something? It's to show you much we care and all want you in our lives”

  
“What?”

  
He pulled out a box and open it. Inside was a gold heart and he pulled it out to show me. He opened it for me and showed me the picture of Jared, Misha and himself inside of it.

  
“Look on the back?”

  
I turned it over and it said, “always keep fighting. You are not alone. Love Jensen, Jared and Misha.”

  
I had tears glistening in my eyes and a single tear slipped down my cheek. Jensen wiped the tear away as he took the necklace from my hands and put it around my neck. He squatted down and kissed me it was a soft gentle kiss it had all our hopes, dreams and promises in this one kiss. When he pulled away he had a smaller box in his hands.

  
He was thinking of what to write on it when he brought it this morning. Yvonne recognised him and helped him pick out the right ring. He also had it inscribed as well. He opened the box and sitting in its cushion was a double gold band it looked like the one he wore on the show for five seasons. It was encrusted with little diamonds around the whole ring. It was gorgeous he pulled it out and handed it to me.

I noticed something on the inside of the ring it said “Ti Amo forever & Always Jensen."

  
“This is from me it's a promise that we will be together and get married. Ti Amo means 'I love you'. I want to have it all with you Baby.”

  
Then realisation hit me this was really happening Jensen Ackles love me.

  
He put it on my left hand and kissed the ring. As I looked at him his eyes were a different shade of green as tears glisten in his eyes.

  
“You are mine now and forever. I love you baby and have since the first time I saw your picture on my phone. He pulled his phone and showed me I was his screen saver. “Look at this beautiful lady, how could I not love you. I was lost from then on, it was only going to be you. I can't seem to breathe without you baby.”

  
“It’s beautiful” as I wiped a tear away before it felt down my face. “I love you too Jensen I always have. Loved you more when you pulled me out of the bath and held me in your arms.”

  
He laughed and kissed me again.

  
“How about we get out of here?”

  
We both said, thank you to Jason and the other staff for our wonderful meal.

 

Then Jensen took me for a walk down to the Torrens he helped me out of the chair and we just sat there in each other's company. He held me in his arms as we watched people rushing by. I felt my life moving in a different direction and it was finally the direction I wanted it to go. I was actually happy I had a smile which lit up my whole face. Jensen looked at me and he too had a smile which cover his whole face too. We both knew we had an unbreakable connection and it felt exciting and new. I finally found my peace and my home it was Jensen all long.

  
We sat there and I said sleepy, “Jensen I want to come to Canada with you. I don't want to lose what we have. I know it's only been a couple of days but I feel like it was supposed to happen. It's like we are connected and belong together. You are the light at the end of my tunnel Jensen.”

  
He said, “I feel the connection too Y/N and I don't want to lose you either. I yawned “how about we go back to the hotel your tired.”

  
He helped me in the wheelchair and we headed back to the hotel.

  
We were in the elevator and I said, “thank you for the best evening of my life Jay.”

  
He bent down and said, “I hope I can top it baby.”

  
We came out the elevator both still grinning and Jared and Misha were sitting on the lounge watching TV when they heard the ping on the elevator. Jensen wheeled me in and I was fiddling with the necklace they had given me with my left hand. They both saw the ring on my finger and Jared looked at Jensen and Jensen looked at Jared then Misha.

  
Jared said in a tight voice, “Jensen?”

  
Jensen noticed Jared's discomfort and said, “it's a promise ring Jared.”

  
Misha said, “promise?”

  
I said, “that we will be married one day.”

  
Jared said, “Oh right.”

  
I said, “thank you both for the necklace I love it. I will never take it off ever.”

  
Misha said, “your welcome sweetheart.”

  
Misha kissed my cheek and hugged me and then Jared kissed my other cheek and whispered in my ear as he hugged “princess are you happy, really happy.”

  
When we pulled back I smiled and shook my head yes in answer. He smiled then and congratulated us on our promise.

  
He said, “as officially being Y/N adopted brother number one Jensen you hurt Y/N and I will kick your ass.”

  
Misha said, “here, here.”

  
Jensen smiled and said, “I wouldn't have it any other way.”

  
I laughed at them all, I now officially had two brothers I liked the feeling of being protected by both Jared and Misha.

  
I said, “now I never thought to have Jared and Misha as my official brothers but I never dreamed to fall in love with Jensen either. I didn't think I deserved any happiness in my life. I thought of my life before you all was what I deserved but now I have you in my life I don't want to lose any of you. So, if you will have me I will come back to Canada with you all.”

  
Looking at each of them and I saw a huge grin appeared on all their faces it's like they just got the greatest gift in the world, me. But I'm the lucky one I got the gift of three gorgeous men and now I had them forever.

  
Jensen already knew so it was Jared who said, “really you will come back with us?”

  
I said, “yes I will. Jensen did promise me we will be together forever.”

  
Jared bent down and lifted me out of the chair and hugged me to himself. Then he gave me to Misha and he hug me tight and said, “your Overlord will take care of you.”

  
I smiled as Jensen took me from them and swept me into his arms and kissed me for what seem like an eternity when Jared and Misha cleared their throats. Jensen still had hold of me when he carried me with Jared and Misha following. He sat me down and sat next to me and I leaned my head on his shoulder I wasn't quite tall enough so his arm was around my waist as I was leaning on his chest. He stroked my hair with his other hand. Jared put on a movie but I was sound asleep 5 minutes into it.

  
Misha looked at me and said, “Jensen Y/N's asleep."

  
Jensen said, “yeah I felt her relax against me. I guess I should go put her in bed she's had a very long day.”

  
Misha and Jared both offered to help but Jensen said, “he was good”. He lifted me careful after turning me towards him.

  
He carried me to my bed and took my shoes off and changed me into his shirt I was so fond off and kissed me goodnight. He went back out to where Jared and Misha were sitting.

  
Misha said, “Jensen you have made her very happy today.”

  
Jared said, “yeah I think she's going to be ok. I think we will still need to support her but I think it's a step in the right direction. Jensen, you did good”

  
Jensen said, “that's what I always wanted to do since I saw her Jared. It's hard to explain but I feel a strong connection to Y/N. Like she was waiting for me all along. It feels really right. She has also asked to see a counsellor when we go back to Canada. I think it will be good for her and I will support her."

  
Jared said, “I'm happy for you both Jay and we will help too" getting up and hugging Jensen.

  
Misha said, “if you make her happy and she wants you why would I stand in her or your way. I see how much you both care for each other it's beautiful.”

  
He tapped Jensen's shoulder and smiled.

  
Jensen said, “thanks man it means a lot you both supporting this.”

 

Jared said, “we better get some sleep we have a lot of sorting out to do tomorrow back at Y/N's house. I also want to call Gen and tell her what's happening and talk to my kids.”

  
Misha said, “I also what to call Vicky and talk to the kids.”

  
Jensen said, “night, see you in the morning.”

  
They both said, “goodnight” and went to bed.

  
Jensen decided he would call his Mum.

  
He flipped through his contacts until he found his Mum's mobile number and pressed the button to contact.

  
She picked up and said, “Hi doodlebug! How's Y/N doing?”

  
Jensen replied, “Hi Mum she's good. We gave her a heart necklace tonight as a gift to reminder her that's she's not alone. Mum I brought her a ring and made her a promise that we will be married one day.”

  
“How did Y/N take the gifts Jensen?”

  
“Mum she loves the necklace and when I gave her the ring everything seem to click into place for her. She is coming home with us and I want her to stay with me. How's her room coming along Mum?” he asked.

  
“We painted the wall a pale lavender and we are putting the furniture in there for her. I've brought her everything purple as you wanted.”

  
“Thanks Mum. I told her I loved her Mum I feel a connection with her I never felt with any other relationships I had. I want to give her everything thing she deserves in life. She told me one of her dreams was me Mum and the other was setting up a Organisation to help abused kids. She is so giving, caring and compassionate about other people. How did I get so lucky to have her love me? It's an honour to have her love and trust Mum I feel really humbled by the amount of compassion she has for everyone in her life. Y/N is very special person and has the biggest heart and she gives it freely.”

  
“Does she love you too Jensen?”

  
“Yes, she does and has from the first moment she watched my show. Maybe she was meant to be with me, maybe it's fates way to put us together and now it's telling us to get a move on as we have wasted to much time already.”

  
“I think it was supposed to happen at a time she was ready to have you in her life doodlebug.”

  
“Yeah and now we have forever together.”

  
“So, when are you coming back to Canada?”

  
He said “in a couple of days we have to sort out Y/N's house. I will call when we are heading to the airport.”

  
“Ok, give her my love, and Jared and Misha too.”

  
“I will Mum, love you.”

  
“I love you too doodlebug.”

  
He hung up the phone and got himself ready for bed. He looked at me sleeping soundly and climbed in next to me and wrapped me in his strong arms he kissed my neck and was sound asleep a few seconds later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reader life takes a turn for disaster. Can Jensen, Jared and Misha save her in time? Or is it the end of their relationship.
> 
> Post weekend or next week.


	4. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The doubts her life with Jensen after photos are taking. Reader is also attacked and almost raped. Jensen, Jared, Misha and reader talk to a reporter to set the record straight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reader doubts her life with Jensen.
> 
> I know you are unable to get a passport in two days that's just for the purpose of the story and the criteria would be different also.
> 
> I like to thank my daughter you the special person in my life for letting me use your name.
> 
> Warnings please don't not read if anything will cause any triggers. You safety is what's important. There is a almost raped scene.

The next morning, we got the house sorted with my landlord. I was up to date with my rent so I owed nothing else. We told the landlord to ditch what I didn't want. We decided to keep the car until we leave and give it to a car yard for some one who couldn't afford to buy one.

As I went through my things I found my art book and I showed them my drawings. They were very impressed and told me to go to art school when we get to Canada.

I told them I would think about it. I also had my other bills to settle so we did that too. We headed to the post office to get a passport for me and I was told it would take a couple of weeks.

I said, “Can I get it any sooner please my friends are leaving in a couple of days.”

She said, “you could get a temporary passport due to illness you need your doctor to fill in the documents.”

I said, “ok I will be back.”

Jensen was already dialling the hospital and asked for my doctor.”

Paul said “hello”

Jensen passed the phone to me and me said “Hi Paul, it's Y/N Y/L/N here.”

“Yes, what can I do for you?”

“I need your help. I've been unable to cope very well with my broken knee and you remember the three men that were with me that night.”

He laughed and said “how can I not with the nursing staff fussing over them. They still talking about them. So, what about them Y/N?”

“They are leaving the day after tomorrow and have asked me to go with them to help me with my broken knee. But I need a passport and the post office said it would be two weeks.”

“Yes, I know so what do you need from me?”

I said “I can get a temporary passport due to medical illness can you help me get it?”

“Sure, can you be here in the hour at my office. It's in the new building just ask for directions with the help desk down stairs.”

“He wants me there in the hour.”

Jared said, “I can get you there.”

“Yes, Paul I can be there we are at my house cleaning up.”

“Great see you then.”

“Thanks bye” then hung up.

Jensen said, “what's wrong?”

I said, “what if I have to wait the two weeks Jay?”

Jensen said, “we will work it out ok.”

I shook my head and Misha said, “hey don't worry just yet see what Paul put on the form first?”

I said, “but what if it's not enough?”

Jared said as he hesitated to say it. We all looked at him and waited. He cleared his throat and said, “don't take this the wrong way but you could tell him about you know wanting to ah” and he stopped and looked at Jensen.

Jensen knew what he was trying to say and said, “baby you may have to tell them about your suicidal attempts and that we are supporting you through it all.”

Misha said, “We know you've been a lot better with us here as a support but if your left here for two weeks on your own” and he stopped.

I said, “I know what you are saying if I need to I will tell him ok.”

Jensen said, “ok we will be there with you.”

The hour went by quiet quickly and we were sitting outside Paul's room. He came out and I was in the wheelchair and he wheeled me in. Jensen followed me as did Jared and Misha.

He looked at them and smiled and said, “it's just a formality if you all want to wait outside.”

Jensen said, “sorry but we would like to stay.”

I said, “Paul it's fine really.”

He said “ok," and took the forms from me.

I said, “Paul they have been helping me with my knee being broken.”

He said, “I don't think a broken knee will give you a temporary passport Y/N. Is there anything else you want me to put on here for you?”

I looked at him and turned to look at Jensen, Jared and Misha. Jensen had hold of my hand and Jared and Misha rested their hands on my shoulder. Paul saw and said, “what haven't you told me?” I looked at him as the tears formed in my eyes. “Y/N are you alright?”

I said “No I wasn't alright. I had a very abused home life and was mentally, physically and emotionally abused.” I turned slightly and pulled up my shirt and he saw the scar down my back. “Anyway, before Jensen, Jared and Misha came I wanted to kill myself.”

He said, “and now Y/N?”

I said, “I've been better with their support I've not once thought about it. I feel different, happy. But I know if I don't have their support I don't know what might happen Paul. I need them as much as they need me. Please let me go with them back to Canada.”

Jensen said, “I will always be there for Y/N and I know Jared and Misha will be there for her too and our families. She will have all the support she will need and if she needs more then I will help her with that too.”

Jared and Misha both agreed.

Paul said, “alright Y/N you are one lucky lady having them in your life I can see how much they care for you. I will put it in the form and it should be enough to get you your passport.”

I said, “thanks Paul,” as Jensen gently wiped the tear from my eyes as Paul watched the tender moment between us.

He handed me the form and said, “good luck Y/N and don't forget to get your knee checked.”

Jensen said, “I will make sure she has the best care.”

Paul said, “may I speak with you for a moment Jensen alone?”

Jensen looked and said, “sure.”

Jared wheeled me out and Misha followed closing the door behind us. “What's wrong?” Jensen said. 

“You know you going to have to be her support and be there for her.”

“I know.”

“That type of abuse just doesn't be forgot she may need to speak to someone. It would probably be good if she does to deal with what happened and what she feels now.”

“I know she has told me what happened and she does want to speak to a counsellor. I will organise it when I get home. She been through a lot Paul if I can help her I will."

“You love her, don't you?”

“Yes, I do the first time I laid eyes on her I was gone.”

“Be her strength and support and Jensen take care of her.”

He smiled, “I will, thanks Paul.”

“You need anything while in Australia just call I will work something out.”

“Great thanks man.”

He shook his hand and then left. We were waiting in the waiting room. I looked at Jensen and he smiled to let me know it was nothing to worry about.

Misha said, “let's get this form in so we can leave in a couple of days.”

I laughed and said, “ok lead away.”

We put the form in on the hotels address so the letter would go there.

Jared said, “let's eat?”

I said, “what you have in mind Jared?”

He smiled and as he headed towards the beach and we parked at Semaphore.

He said, “is there a shop here where we can get food Y/N?”

I said, “there's a kiosk over there and I think there are food shops down Semaphore Road?”

He said, “Jay, Misha want to go for a walk down the road?”

Jensen said, “ok."

Misha shook his head yes.

I sat in the wheelchair as Jensen always pushed me and we headed down Semaphore Road. We passed ice cream shops, clothes shops, foodland, a pub, a lolly shop and many more. We crossed over the lights on Military Road and walked passed the cinema and we found a nice little shop on the corner and we decide to sit outside the day bright and sunny. Misha grabbed some menus and we looked at them.

I looked at the different foods on their and said, “I would like a bacon and cheese toasted sandwich with tomato sauce please.”

Jensen said, “I'll have burger and fries.”

Misha said, “the same.”

Jared said, “ok I will go order you guys want drinks?”

I said, “lemonade if they have one if not just a bottle of water please.”

Jensen and Misha both said, “cappuccino.”

Jared smiled and walk in and told them our order. The lady said, “she would bring the drinks out and the food when it was ready.”

Jared thank her and walked back outside and sat next to me while Jensen was on the other side of me.

We were looking around when we noticed some people gathering together as they walked up to us and asked if Jensen, Jared and Misha would take pictures with them. Jensen looked at me and I smiled a dazzling smile and they said “ok.”

They have been lucky so far, no cameras or paparazzi have noticed them yet.

They just finished when our food arrived and the lady said, “your meals are ready the burgers and chips” and gave them to Jensen, Misha and Jared, “and the bacon and cheese toasted sandwich must be yours.”

I said, “thank you” as did Jensen, Jared and Misha and she went back into the shop.

I took a bite of mine and made a noise like a hum in satisfaction and they looked at me and laughed.

I said, “what it's nice I never eaten anything like bacon before it tastes wonderful.”

Jensen said, “it's good to hear you enjoying your food baby.”

We were eating our food enjoying it when the lady came out and asked how our food was.

I said, “it's very nice thank you.”

Jared said, “these are amazing burgers.”

The lady said, “thank you we make everything in the shop as well as the cakes.”

Jensen asked, “do you have pie?”

She said, “yes I think we have apple and blueberry pie.”

Jensen said, “may I get a piece of blueberry pie.”

She said, “of course and we also have brownies, cheesecakes, banana loaf, and lots more.”

Jared asked for a cheesecake and Misha asked for a brownie. I was full so I didn't get anything.

I listened to Jensen humming in his mouth this time I couldn't suppress my laugh.

We all finished our food and thanked the lady for the lovely lunch and headed back to the car.

Misha said, “how about we go for a walk along the jetty? Y/N have you ever been down the jetty?”

I said, “no." I looked a little worried.

Jensen said, “I don't think the chair will go down there.”

Jared said, “we will put the chair in the car” and handed me my crutches.

I looked at them and Jensen gave them back and swooped me off my feet holding me bridal style.

We got ¼ of the way and Jensen put me down to rest as I have put on a little weight since I have been eating three meals a day.

Jared picked me up this time like I still weighted nothing. He was holding me as we reach the end of the jetty and he sat me on the sit under the cover out of the sun. I looked out over the ocean it was a beautiful dark blue, emerald green shade almost the same colour of Jensen's eyes, it looked glorious.

Misha said, “wow look at that.”

I looked, it was a dolphin frocking in the water below us.

I said, “it's a dolphin they live in the Port River but come here sometimes.”

The dolphin then did a back flip and Misha was filming the dolphin on his phone. They were delighted watching it. It was amazing what a dolphin can do. I started to yawn when Jared noticed my eyes drooping closed. I had my head resting on Jensen's arm and Jared looked at me then Jensen to let him know I had fallen asleep. He turned so I was resting comfortably on his chest. Jared took a video of us as Jensen gently rubbed his hand through my hair. He was being so gently and loving as he kissed the top of my head.

Misha whispered maybe we should go.

Jensen shook his head but Jared gently lifted me into his arms and carried me back to the car. We had not noticed a paparazzi watching us taking pictures of us.

Jensen got in first as Jared gently laid me on Jensen and slept all the way back to the hotel.

Jensen had carried me upstairs to my room and gently laid me down on the bed and covered me with a blanket.

Then he left they sat down and watched movie quietly for the day and the news report came on. They had pictures of us all and it said, “The stars of Supernatural caught cheating on their wives with a bimbo.”

Jensen saw red and shouted she no bimbo.

Jared said, “Misha and I better call our wives.”

They left and Jensen was so mad he called the one person to calm him down.

“Hi Mum,” she could hear the anger in his voice.

“Hi Jensen, what's happened Y/N is alright? Jared and Misha too?”

“Yeah, she's fine, just asleep. Jared and Misha are doing damage control.”

“What happened?”

“Their are photos of us with Y/N. They called her a bimbo Mum,” and he sighed.

“How bad were the pictures Jensen?”

“We were on the jetty watching a dolphin and Y/N fell asleep so Jared was carrying back to the car. She had her head resting on his shoulder as he held her Mum. Why do they have to make something so innocent into something dirty and tainted.”

“Does Y/N know Jensen?”

“No, she's asleep.”

“Talk to her about it first then decide how to deal with it.”

“Ok Mum thanks.”

“Bye Jensen.”

“Bye Mum.”

Jared and Misha came out and Jared said, “Gen thought it was Y/N and she could tell she was asleep. She was ok with it I told her how you feel about Y/N hope you don't mine.”

Jensen said, “Nah she going to know anyway.”

Misha said, “Vicky was good about it too as she could also see that Y/N was asleep. She knows I wouldn't cheat on her we've been together for too long and I love her.”

Jensen said, “Mum said, “to talk too Y/N first about it and go from there. I was trying to shield her from all this.”

Jared said, “it was about to happen away maybe now you can show the world you love her.”

Jensen said, “It's not me I worried about, its Y/N she been through so much in her life. Maybe it was a mistake to fall in love with her. What if she can't deal and......” he couldn't finish.

Jared said, “hey man we will help you and Y/N to deal with this ok.”

I hobbled out on my crutches and asked what all the noise was about.

Jensen said, “Hey baby you have a good sleep?”

I said “yes I did. What's wrong?” As I heard the anger and worry in Jensen voice. 

Jensen said, “come sit down” and tapped the lounge.

Jared and Misha sat as well. I looked at them and they have a worry look on their faces.

“Jay your scaring me what's going on?” I said.

He said, “Baby when we were out today someone took pictures of us and they were plastered all over the TV news. It was you sleeping on my shoulder and Jared carrying you back to the car. But the report they called you a bimbo and said Jared and Misha were cheating on their wives.”

I went paled as a ghost and I was taking shallow breaths when Jensen grabbed me and kissed me. When we pulled away I was steadying my breathing.

I stuttered out, “why? III can’tt doo thiss JJay”

He said, “I know but we will keep you safe. I want to ring the station and fix this. But first I need to speak to our producer.”

My breathing was back to normal and Jared had come and wrapped an arm around me.

I said, “Jensen you not going to tell them who I am are you?”

He said, “no baby I just going to tell them you are a close friend of ours. Will that be ok?”

I said, “yeah I guess but what if they want to know more Jay?”

He said, “this not up for discussion.”

Jared said, “Jensen you better call the producer.”

So, Jensen left to make the call and Misha had sat where Jensen was a few seconds ago.

Misha said, “hey Jensen will fix this.”

I said, “Maybe I should.”

Jared cut me off and said, “don't think like that Jensen loves you and you love him, it wasn't a mistake and don't doubt yourself Princess. You have our support and we will continue to give it.”

Misha said, “we love you too Y/N”

I smiled and said, “and I love you both.”

They both held me tight when Jensen came back said the producer said, “that they want to release a statement on our behalf.”

I said, “what will he say?”

He said, “What I told him to say.”

Jared said, “which is?”

He said, “That Y/N here is a very close friend and is not involved with either Jared or Misha. So, she is not a bimbo you are all making her out to be. She had an accident which we found out about and wanted to come help her out for a bit. So, there is nothing physical going on between any of the cast and Y/N.”

I said, “Jensen you didn't tell him about us?”

He said, “I did but he didn't want you to get any unwanted attention which I agreed with.”

Jared said, “you sure people going to believe that?”

Jensen said, “they should if we laid low for the next couple of days.”

I said, “I'm fine with that. I'm in no hurry to be photographed again.”

Jared laughed and said, “hey Princess you were asleep anyway.”

Then we all laughed which broke the tension in the air.

Misha said, “so what are we going to do now?”

I said, “can we just watch some movies and eat in.”

Jensen looked at me and half smiled he knew I was still worried but he said, “sure baby.”

The Producer released the statement it was on the news and he said, “what Jensen had told him to say. The reporters were firing questions at him and answered the one's he knew the answer to the others were no comment or I unable to answer that question. He did say that Jared and Misha were happily married and in love with their wives. Jensen is still single and is happy.

I looked at Jensen he said, “it's ok baby we will sorted it out when we get home,” as there was a lot of unanswered questions.

We stayed in the rest of the day and watched movie and ate dinner in the pen house. I was quite and Jensen kept looking to see if I was alright as did Misha and Jared who were used to dealing with this all the time but it was all new for me.

I said, “I'm going to bed. See you all in the morning.”

Jensen said, “need any help?”

I said, “no I'm fine.”

Jensen said, “ok baby night.”

I hobbled into my room and closed the door and the dam burst and I cried I didn't know how to handle this attention it was too much. What if I destroy their careers. I knew I had to leave I will do it when they fall asleep. Jensen slept in his room to give me some space.

I waited until I knew they were asleep before I got myself together and hobbled out quietly on one crutch. I went down stairs and hobbled to the river Torrens and sat on the bench. I just sat and though about everything that has happened in my life and when I thought of Jensen a smile appeared on my face. Someone came up behind me I didn't hear them as I was lost in my thoughts.

I heard, “hey aren't you the one that was on the news with those men.”

I looked and it was a man he was leering me.

I said, “no I don't know what you are talking about.”

He said, “it is you, you like a lot of men do you, like being a whore.”

I said, “leave me alone I'm not her.”

He said, “let's find out?” he pinned me to the bench and was pulling up my skirt. I felt his hand touching me and alcohol on his breath. I screamed and screamed for Jensen he covered my mouth with his dirty hand.

 

Jensen had woken up and he felt something was wrong. He went to my room and looked in and I wasn't there he went to wake Jared and Misha.

Jared said, “what's wrong?”

Jensen said, “Y/N's gone Jared” he was up in a second as they went to wake Misha.

“Misha Y/N's gone?” Jared said.

They all piled into the elevator and looked downstairs I was nowhere. Jensen asked the door man if he had seen me.

He told them I was heading down to the Torrens.

They were running when they heard me screaming Jensen name and they followed the source of the screaming they saw me fighting off a man looks like he was about to rape me.

Jensen was there first he pulled the animal off me and punched him in the face and kept on punching him until Jared and Misha pulled him off. The police were called when other people noticed what was happening. Jensen got up as I looked into his angry eyes when they saw me and they soften.

I said, “I'mm sorrrry Jay needed time tooo think. He, he was going to rape, rape me Jay.” I choked on a sob as the tears were all dirty down my face. The police arrived and took him away and they took our statements. They charged him with attempted rape as he had warrants and broke his parole he when straight into jail with no bail I didn't even need to testify.

Jensen held me and said, “it's ok baby. I'm sorry I put you through all this maybe it's better we don't.”

I looked at him and told him to hold me.

I said, “Jensen it's not your fault” as I was shaking but I had calmed down.

He picked me up and carried me back to the hotel as I was still shaking and trembled in his arms and there was a reporter standing there.

Jensen growled but I said, “talk to her Jensen, tell her the truth.”

He said, “you sure?”

I said, “yes I'm sure" I was still shaken but felt safe in Jensen's arms. I knew we needed to fix what people think of them.

Jensen motioned for the reporter to follow them in the elevator and he sat me on the lounge and Jared made us some hot chocolates as he knew I liked them.

The reporter introduced herself as Nicole from some news show wasn't playing attention.

She said, “so what happened tonight? Are you ok you look scared?”

I said, “I was attacked and I'm ok now” as Jensen held me in his arms as I was still trembling a bit.

Jensen said, “first we don't want her name in or on any reports ok. We are willing to tell you everything but you got to keep her name out of it.”

She said, “agree.”

Jensen said, “this is Y/N she is the reason we are here in Australia instead of filming in Canada.”

Nicole said, “why did you come here?”

He looked at me and I said, “I was in bad shape and they were worried I would do something to hurt myself.”

Jared said, “so we caught the next flight out to Australia."

Misha said, “we had made friends with Y/N on face book as we invited her to our next convention here in Australia in July.”

Nicole said, “why her?”

Jared said, “we chose her as a thank you for all the support and kind messages she leaves for us. Sometimes the people's comments are a bit hostile, she never was, always friendly and made us feel better.”

Misha said, “so when we made contact we talked with her regularly,” he wasn't going to say it was only six days ago.

Jensen said, “then the other day she wasn't doing well so here we are.”

Nicole said, “tell me about the beach.”

I said, “I had fallen asleep and Jared was just carrying me back to the car nothing happened.”

Nicole said, “so how did you break you knee Y/N?”

Jensen said, “it was an accident I broke it.”

I said, “I slipped in the bath and Jensen got pulled down with me and fell on it.”

She said, “so Jensen was in the bathroom while you were in the bath?”

I said, “yes” with a blush “I didn't know they were they’re until Jensen tapped me on the shoulder scared the shit out of me. I was covered by bubbles as I had was having a bubble bath they could not see anything.”

Nicole said, “then you slipped and Jensen fell on you.”

I said, “I slipped on my flannel and I pulled Jensen down. I was trying to grab him before I fell but he lost his balance and he fell with me.”

Nicole said, “what happened then?”

I said, “Jared and Misha helped Jensen out of the tub and I was still covered in bubbles and my towel. Then I moved my knee and found out it was broken. So, they took me to the hospital.”

Nicole said, “so you are having sex with any of them?”

I said, “no Jared and Misha are married I would never.”

She said, “and Jensen?”

Jensen said, “we are not having sex either but we are working on a relationship.”

Nicole said, “oh! I see so you and Jensen are together.”

I said, “yes we are but we wanted to keep it private, as I'm not use to this attention.”

Jensen said, “we will understand if you can't, but if you could just keep it under wraps until we go home in a few days that will be great.”

She said, “we go home is Y/N going too?”

I said, “yes I am.”

Nicole smiled and said, “I can keep your relationship quiet but I will have to put that Jensen is seeing someone it might stop the harassment from other reporters.”

Jensen said, “ok but can you also keep the knowledge of Y/N's mental state out of it too.”

She said, “sure I'll just say she had an accident that's what your producer said anyway. But you have promise me all inclusive, if any, deal.”

Jensen smiled and said, “sure.”

I said, “Nicole thank you for your understanding. I feel like I can trust you, don't let us down.”

She said, “I won't I just wanted to tell your side off the story. Thank you all for your time it was a pleasure.”

We all said, “thank you” and Jared when down the elevator with her.

She said, “Jared you all care deeply for her don't you.”

Jared said, “yes, she is Misha's and mine best friend and Jensen was taken the first time he saw her. He knew he loved her before she even knew. They are so right together and he is so in love with her. It's the same way I feel about Gen and Misha about Vicky.”

She said, “I saw a ring on her finger they aren't married?”

Jared laughed, “no they aren't married it's a promise ring.”

She said, “a promise ring?”

Jared said, “to be married one day.”

She smiled and said, “I saw the way they look at each other they belong together. I hope they will be happy. I will keep her name out of the report as long as I can.”

Jared said, “that's all we ask.”

She said, “bye Jared.”

He said, “bye” and went back up the elevator to our room.

We all went back to bed Jensen stay in my room holding me in his arms and I was slightly trembling so he held me tighter.

I said, “Jensen I'm sorry?”

He said, “what for?”

I said, “I couldn't handle the attention I was going to leave you. I was sitting on the bench and all I could think about is how happy I am. I couldn't do it, I couldn't leave you Jay."

He said, “it's ok baby. Please don't scare me like that again I didn't know where you were.”

I said, “I didn't have anywhere to go Jay, your my home now.”

He smiled and said, “as you are mine.”

I was still shaking and trembling Jensen kissed me and held me.

“I got you baby, you're safe,” he said he sang me a song it was a song I've never heard of before until I stopped trembling and fell asleep in his arms. He soon followed.

I woke a few hours later screaming. Jensen was trying soothe me as Jared and Misha came running into my room.

Jensen was now shaking me awake.

"Y/N, baby wake up?"

I opened my eyes and saw Jensen, Jared's and Misha's worried eyes looking at me.

I stammered "what happen? why are you all here?"

Jared said, "Princess you were having a really bad nightmare."

Misha said, "you were screaming for help."

Jensen said, "I was trying to calm you but I had to wake you."

I said, "Oh God, I'm so sorry. It's just...."

Jared said, "is it everything that has happened with the photos and the attack?"

I gave a sad smile and replied, "its everything and what my parents did to me. I guess the attack brought up some things I didn't want to remember."

Jensen said, "you want to talk about it?"

I looked at them and I knew I could tell them.

I sighed and sat up in bed as Jensen followed and he held me his arms.

"The man that attacked me it wasn't him in the nightmare it was my father. I couldn't get away and he was telling me this is all I'm good for. I'm nothing but a whore for him then, I saw my Mother laughing as I saw everyone of the people who abused me, it was horrible. Then it changed I saw you Jensen, Jared and Misha trying to get to me but couldn't quite reach me. I was screaming for your help but you couldn't get me. My father kept hurting me. I was crying and screaming but no one came."

I had tears flowing down my face as Jared wiped them away.

Jared said, "you know we love you."

I shook my head yes.

Jensen said, "we will always come for you Baby."

Misha said, "you will always be safe with us Y/N."

Jensen said, "I love you Y/N."

"I love you too Jay."

Jared said, "it's just a nightmare. Your father and mother can not hurt you anymore. You have us and we were protect and support you."

I looked at them and saw unconditionally love in their eyes.

"Thank you I love you Jared and Misha."

They both gave me a hug and said, "you're going to be alright Y/N promise."

I nodded as they left to go back to bed.

Jensen looked at me with worry in his eyes. This is the first time I had a very bad nightmare. He held me tight and gently lied us both back down as he stroke my hair to relax me.

I said, "love you Jay."

"Love you too Baby."

He started singing the song I was singing when we first met in the bath. It brought back the good memories off them. I hummed and relaxed in Jensen's arms as he kissed the top of my head.

I drifted off to sleep with the good memories still in front of my eyes.

Jensen stayed awake for a bit longer just to make sure I was settled and then when to sleep too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my story. Please leave comments, much appreciated.
> 
> Next update maybe the weekend or next week.


	5. The Zoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is about the reader enjoying things she never really got to do. They go to the zoo. Everything is made right and the reader enjoys her time with Jensen, Jared and Misha. A fan tells her she is lucky and not everyone believes what they read.
> 
> They have a day of fun together and enjoyment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this Chapter is basically fluff and more trust building after what happened in the last chapter.  
> They go to the zoo and Jensen goes for a ride on the pop eye.
> 
> Their is no warning on this chapter except Jensen telling his Mum about the almost rape.
> 
> Next chapter they go back to Canada and come back to Supernatural convention. Reader come face to face with her pass, how does she handle it? Will she have a set back and try to herself or will the boys be able to help her?
> 
> This unbeta all mistakes are my own.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it please leave comments.

We all saw the news report and Nicole had kept my name out of it and she said “all you ladies out there during my interview last night I found out Jensen Ackles has a special someone in his life. He did not say who it was what I gather it's someone back in the States. So, he is officially off the market.

Jared Padalecki and Misha Collins also confirmed they were missing their wives and children and are deeply in love with them. Jared also confirmed this special lady in Jensen's life. So, leave them in peace so they can enjoy the time with their injured friend.”

 “So” I said. Jensen's phone rang it was Nicole.

Jensen said, “Hi Nicole”

She said, “Hi Jensen, did you see the news?”

Jensen said, “Yes, thank you for that Nicole they might leave us alone now.”

Nicole said, “hope so take care of Y/N”

He said “I will. Thanks again bye.”

She said “bye”

I said “Nicole?”

He said, “yeah just seeing if we saw the news?”

I said, “she did what we asked of her.”

He said “yes she did. She told me to take care of you.”

I smiled and said, “so what are we going to do today?”

Jensen said, “well we need to buy you some luggage for your things.”

I pouted and said, “I have another idea?”

He looked and I looked at Jared and Misha.

I smiled “how about the zoo and the pop eye ride to the zoo" I said

He laughed a deep throaty laugh and said, “you want to go to the zoo?”

I said, “I've never been to the zoo before, please, please?” with puppy dog eyes.

Jared said, “we did promise her the other day while on the pop eye.”

Misha said, “I would like to go see the animals.”

Jensen said, “ok we will go to the zoo” with a smile on his face.

I clapped and said “goodie.”

We all had our breakfast and I wore a shirt that covered my arms and neck from the sun and floppy hat and sunnies to cover my face.

 

Jensen, Jared and Misha all wore all sleeves and hats and sunglasses to hide their faces. I was so excited and Jensen was smiling at me and he too was getting excited. Jared and Misha were also excited and looking forward to spending the day at the zoo.

We all got on the pop eye as Jensen lifted me in his arms and I snuggled into him. He laughed as I sighed with contentment. Jared and Misha had already been on the pop eye so it was not new but Jensen took in everything and I enjoyed watching his reactions. The pop eye finally stopped at the stop where the zoo was and Jensen had to carry me up the stairs as there was no ramp. While Jared carried the wheelchair. Misha stood in front of Jensen in case he fell forwards and Jared behind but we made it up there with no problems. Jared had opened the wheelchair and Jensen sat me in it with a quick kiss on the lips.

 

We all headed towards the zoo. Misha paid for us to get in and I looked at everything it was incredible the Pandas were adorable and Misha took pictures for his kids. Jared took pictures for us. We were in the monkey enclosure and Jensen said, “you are enjoying yourself baby?”

I looked up at him and said, “very much it's amazing.”

Jared said, “you should see our zoo in Texas it has many more animals”

I said, “is that a challenge we are going to visit all the zoo's in the states.”

Misha said, “the one is LA is really nice also you would love it.”

Jensen said, “let's go eat.”

We found a kiosk and got food and sat on the grass area it was nice just listening to the animals.

Jared said “Y/N?”

I said “yep”

He said, “you know we all love you right.”

I said, “yes Why?”

He said with a laugh “you have ice cream on your face.”

Jensen and Misha looked and laughed. Jensen said, “Let me get that for you” He licked it off slowly, Jared and Misha both cleared their throats and poked my tongue at Jared.

Misha said, “shall we continue”

I said “ok.”

We ended up in the nocturnal house and Jensen was sitting on a bench watching a bat flying and I looked at him even in the dark his eyes sparkle.

He leaned over and kissed my lips it was soft and tender and he said, “I love you Y/N Y/L/N.”

I said, “I love you too Jensen Ackles.”

He said, “how about we get out of here and look at the tigers and lions.”

I said, “don't forget the wombats too.”

So, we finished at the zoo it took the whole day and it was fun I really enjoyed myself as did Jensen, Jared and Misha. We took the pop eye back to Elder Park and we sat under a tree for a bit.

Jensen said, “we should head back it's getting late.”

Jared said, “yeah it's being a long day.”

Misha said, “it was a nice day though.”

I said with the biggest smile “the best day.”

Jensen said, “how about we stay in and eat tonight at the restaurant down stairs I bet you Jason would be glad to see us.”

Jared said, “ok we should go shower and get ready”

Jensen said, “I will call down and make reservations”

I said, “Jensen can you help me with the bath.”

He said, “Sure baby.”

Misha said, “I'm going to shower.”

Jensen wheeled me into the bedroom and I got ready for my bath he had the water running and I hobbled in on my crutches.

He said, “you look sexy on those'” I smiled “all ready” and he lifted me into the bath.

He gave me a quick kiss and left I knew the drill so he would come. He rang downstairs and made the reservations for us.

He headed to the shower and but didn't get dressed as he was waiting for me to finish. I called him and he lifted me out of the bath and I wrapped a towel around myself and he put me on the bed.

I got myself ready and Jensen, Jared and Misha did too.

We all meet at in the lounge room. Jared had on a black suit he looked quite handsome. Misha had on pants and a blue shirt which really set his eyes off. Jensen had walked out in pants and a light green shirt and tie. I couldn't keep me eyes off him he looks incredible. I had on a long purple spaghetti strap dress that hang to my knees. I decided to use my crutches which were easier to move around at the restaurant. They looked and me and said, “I looked stunning”

I blushed and I said, “Thank you, you looked really nice too.”

Jared said, “shall we?”

We all headed to the elevator and were at the restaurant a few moments later.

We were meet by Jason. He said, “evening Ma'am and Sir's do you have a reservation.”

Jensen said, “yes Jensen Ackles party of four.”

Jason said, “It's nice to see you again Sir and Ma'am follow me.”

Jensen walked with me while Jared and Misha followed close behind. Jensen had asked for a private table so they wouldn't be noticed so Jason put us near back of the restaurant where there was some cover.

Jensen pulled out the chair for me and took the crutches and rested them against the wall.

He sat next to me while Misha and Jared sat across from us.

Jensen had hold of my hand and was gently rubbing my palm. It felt nice and I was relaxing to his touch. He knew I felt uncomfortable with large crowds of people.

Jason gave us our menus and we ordered our drinks and the waiter brought them over to us.

He came back to take our orders and I got seafood basket and Jensen got a different burger, Jared got pork and salad and Misha got the same burger as Jensen.

We talked about the future and Jared was excited for me to meet his wife and us becoming best friends. Misha was happy that I was going back with them. Jensen was really excited that I will see his home with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. I asked about their work and some of the story arcs they couldn't tell me too much but they did tell me enough. Jensen looked at me like he was remembering something.

Jensen said “Y/N has an idea and she wants to know if you well, help support it. I think it's a really good idea and I will help her as much as I can. She wants to make it worldwide if she could?”

He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it.

I said, “to Jensen I would like to set up a foundation for kids that are abused and need help with money and clothes but most of all food.”

Misha said, “that really is a great idea I could maybe get my charity involved too.”

Jared said “I would be happy to help too financial or being one of the faces for it. It might get support by the SPN fans. I would like to get involved with helping kids.”

I said, “really you think it's a good idea?”

They looked at me and laughed and Misha said, “it's a great idea we will work out the details when we get back to the Canada.”

Just as we finished laughing someone walked over to us and asked to have a photo with the guys and when they said “yes” her face beamed bright.

She said to me “sorry about the media and know it would be hard for you but hang in there we all don't believe what we read ok. You are one very special lady to know them” pointing to the guys “take care of yourself” and she hugged me.

I said, “thank you.”

She said, “thank you all have a great meal.”

Then she walked away and looked at Jensen and he smiled it was a brilliant smile to let me know everything will be ok.

Our food came and we ate in quiet Jensen and I swapped meals again and Jared and Misha looked and laughed when Jensen was eating the rest of my meal. They got dessert and I didn't want any but Jensen order me a piece of chocolate cake and whipped cream. I took a bite and it was delicious so I ate half of it and Jensen had some and so did Jared.

We stayed there for a bit longer and ordered another drink and just talked until the restaurant closed at 11pm.

Jason bid us all goodnight and we left to go but upstairs. I was leaning heavily on Jensen shoulder and I had fallen asleep. Jared noticed and picked me up and Misha grabbed the crutches.

Jensen said, “it's been a long day for her.”

Jared carried me to my room and gently laid me on my bed. He removed my shoes and Jensen said, “I got her thanks buddy.”

He said, “night Jensen.”

Misha had already gone to bed probably calling his wife.

Jared left to call his too.

Jensen careful got me changed into his shirt I use for sleeping in and put me in the bed and when to call his Mum.

He said, “hi Mum”

She said, “hi Doodlebug, How's Y/N doing?”

He said “she's good and coming back with us. She was a pretty shaken up some guy try to rape her" with anger in his voice "but we got to her before anything happened. She will never have to see him again.”

She said “I'm so sorry Jensen it's good she has you. What about the scandal?”

He said “we have that sorted too. A reporter interviewed us and Y/N told the truth and the reporter left some things out of the report to protect Y/N but no one is taking any notice of us now. Which is good for Y/N.”

She said “yes, it is I bet she was upset over it all?”

Jensen said, “she was, she was going to leave me Mum" with hurt in his voice "that's how that guy almost hurt her.”

She said “well she's safe now and coming home with you all. When will you be home Jensen?”

He said “we will packet tomorrow and make sure Y/N has her passport. If it comes tomorrow we will leave on the first plane out and we should be back late in the day.”

She said, “Will you let me know so I can welcome Y/N at the airport?”

He said, “I will ring before we board the plane.”

She said, “how's Y/N's knee Jensen?”

He said “it's still in the brace and I help her as much as I can. She is walking on her crutches more which makes her a little bit more independent but I like helping her too.”

She said, “I know honey but let her try too ok.”

He said “ok I talk to you tomorrow Mum. I love you.”

She said, “I love you too”

She hung up and Jensen got ready for bed and he climbed in my bed next to me and kissed me lightly on the neck. I hummed in my sleep and he did it again and I turned to look in his eyes they were a gorgeous shade of green.

He said “go back to sleep baby. I love you.”

I said, “I love you Jay.”

He pulled me into his arms and held me all night and we both fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure if I was going to write anymore as I have a very abusive comment from someone on another story. I was very upset and thought maybe I shouldn't be writing. All this AO3 warnings and tags are still very new to me and I forgot to put something on one of my stories. Anyway it upset me enough to want to stop writing. If you don't like something please say it in a kind way not in an abusive way upsetting the writer. I know I'm not the only writer to receive abusive comments but please remember we are people too and have feelings.  
> To the person in question I am sorry it wasn't my intention to upset you or spoil anything for you.


	6. The Abuser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader comes face to face with someone from her past. Can she handle it or will she try and hurt herself? Will Jensen, Jared and Misha be able to help her or is it too late?  
> The Reader comes face to face with the person who saved her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader gets three surprises at the convention. She also runs into one of her abuser from high school. The reader is hurt and angry but Jensen is there for comfort and support. More fluff.
> 
> I know I kind put in a scene which I thought would help the reader to be comfortable around people. I know this would not happen in real life but for this story it did. The reader joins the cast of supernatural.
> 
> Unbeta all mistakes are mine own.  
> I hope you enjoy it?

I woke to Jensen's lips touching mine gently I moaned into the kiss.

He pulled back and smiled and said, “morning baby.”

I smiled and reply, “morn'n Jay.”

He said, “we have to get you some luggage today and check to see if your passport has come then we can leave Australia.”

I said, “It will be a little sad it was my home even though it's wasn't always ideal.”

He said, “we come back in July for the convention and you can come back to Adelaide if you want to.”

I shook my head and said, “its fine I'm building a new home with you and Jared and Misha. Jay, can I ask you something?”

He smiled and said, “anything?”

"I was wondering do you and Jared live close by each other?”

He said “why?”

I answered, “when we were talking about zoos to visit you didn't say one so I just though you either lived close to either Misha or Jared? I saw how well you and Jared get on like you were brothers so I nailed it down to Jared.”

He laughed then and said, “wow nothing gets passed you does it” with a chuckle. “Jared and I are very close his sons call me Uncle Jensen and I do spend a lot of time with him and his family. We actually moved homes so we were very close together and I enjoy his company.”

I smiled then and said, “yeah and he teases you like a brother would too it wasn't just friendship. Misha treats you as a friend but Jared treats you different still.”

He said, “you have to understand Jared and I spent 9 months of the year filming anywhere between 9 – 12 hours a day and then we do conventions on the weekend so yeah I would class us as brothers. He has learnt to read my emotions and I have his. We are as close as any family would be. I love him like a brother and he is my best friend.”

I said, “I'm glad I love him too Jensen.”

He said, “you will understand as you spend more time with us all and you will see how much I adore his boys.”

I said, “ok I'm sure I will love them too. I'm a little nervous in meeting them and Gen and Misha's family what if they don't like me Jensen? What if your family doesn't like me I couldn't bear it. It would......."

He stopped me with his finger and kissed my lips and said, “they all will love you and they will see how much I love you.”

I said, “ok Jay.”

He said, “you ready for a bath?”

I said, “yes.”

I got up and Jensen when and ran the bath and I hobble in on my crutches and he lifted me in after I had gotten undressed. His eyes roamed over my body appreciatively and he smirked.

I said, “like what you see big boy?”

He gave me a deep chuckle and said, “sure do baby, your gorgeous.”

I blushed and he continue to laugh and then bent down and kissed me tenderly on the lips.

He said, “I'm going to shower be back in a bit.”

I said, “ok take your time.”

 

He left me too it and Jared and Misha were sitting eating their breakfast as they just got back from their run.

Jared said, “morning Jensen. How's Y/N this morning?”

“Morning Jared. She's good, she's in the bath now.”

Misha said, “morning Jensen. What's wrong you look a little worried?”

“Morn'n Misha. Y/N is worried your families and mine aren't going to like her.”

“What brought that on?” Jared said.

"I think it's because we are leaving soon and it's just occurred to her that she would be meeting them all.”

Misha said, “She will be fine I know our families will like her. We do, so why wouldn't they.”

Jensen laughed then and said, “I told her basically the same thing but she's not so sure.”

“I will talk with Gen and see if she can help relax Y/N?”

“I will talk with Vicki too.”

“Thanks I don't want it to go to hell before I even get her home.”

“It will be fine I promise Jay," Jared said.

He smiled as Jared put a hand on his shoulder giving it a squeeze then he got up and gave him a very manly huge.

Jensen and Jared pulled away from each other and Jensen said, “I'm going to go shower.”

Jared said, “sure Jay I will listen out for Y/N and let you know.”

Jensen said, “thanks man.”

Jared waited to Jensen left and said to Misha, “we have to make this work for them it will kill Jensen to lose Y/N now. I don't even want to think what it would do to Y/N either.”

“We will be there for them both even if our wives don't like her. I know Vicki is looking forward to meeting her and she will be opened minded and give her a go.”

“So will Gen, I'm just afraid it might be too much for Y/N to handle all in one day?”

“So what you are thinking?”

“I don't know yet but I'm gonna make sure no one gets hurt.”

“Yeah your right.”

I called Jensen to help me out of the bath Jared came to the door and said, “Jensen still in the shower.”

I said, “ok can you tell him went he gets out please.”

He smiled as I was always polite when asking them to do something for me.

“Sure Princess.”

He left then and a few minutes later Jensen came in to help me out of the bath he smelt like vanilla and lavender soap and he had washed his dirty blonde hair. He smelt amazing and I felt lucky all over again to have him in my life.

“You alright now baby.”

“Yes thank you I can manage now.”

He smiled and left to get ready as I did also. I had put on a pair of shorts and a nice purple top.

I hobbled out on my crutches Jared and Misha were nowhere in sight. Then Jensen came out of his room and I looked he said, “they were in the shower.”

I nodded and we sat down for breakfast.

We were just about finished when Jared came out of his room. His face lit up when he saw me and came over and kissed my cheek and wished me a good morning.

I said, “morning”

Misha came out about 5 minutes later and did the exact same thing Jared did and we laughed.

Misha looked at us and said, “what?”

I said, “it's nothing” but we continue to giggle.

Jensen said, “we need to get Y/N some luggage today and I think we might need some too.”

Jared said, “yeah I have more clothes than what I came here with.”

Misha hummed in agreement.

Jensen said, “so shall we do this now?”

I said, “ok why not.”

 

So, we all headed to the elevator and went down to the bottom floor. The desk clerk called out, "excuse me Miss Y/L/N?”

I turned in the wheelchair and said, “yes”

He said, “I'm glad I caught you?”

I looked as he handed me an envelope.

I said, “thank you” and we stood there until I had opened it. It was my temporary passport.

It said, “they would send my new one to Jensen home address we had listed."

Jensen said, “looks like we can leave any time now.”

I smiled and Jared saw the worry and squeezed my shoulder.

Jared said, “shall I ring for plane tickets we could be back by tomorrow some time ready for work on Monday.”

Jensen said, “sure, find out when the next flight out of Sydney is too. There's something I like to do in Sydney before we leave Australia?”

I looked and he smiled and I said, “Jay?”

He said, "It's fine, all good promise.”

So, I held onto my passport as we all shopped for luggage I had a lot of the cases as I had a completely new wardrobe.

We headed back to the hotel and I packed my things into the different cases while Jensen, Jared and Misha packed their things. I had made sure I had everything as Jared had made reservations for the plane in three hours. I knew I had some time as I finished packing before the boys so I sat down on the bed with my sketch book. I started drawing a memory of us all at the zoo. I was so lost in drawing that I didn't hear any of them come in to my room. They looked at the picture and was amazed at how much they looked like their pictures I had drawn.

Jensen cleared his throat and said, “hey baby all ready to go.”

I blushed as I saw them looking at the picture.

Jared said, “that is really good Y/N.”

Misha said, “I have a friend who's an art dealer if you’re ever interested in displaying your work?”

I said, “I'm not that good yet but thank you Misha. Jensen, I am ready to go.”

He said, “ok baby you want to put that away or take it on the plane to finish it?”

I said, “can I finish it on the plane.”

He smiled and said, “sure”

The elevator pinged then and a bellboy came to grab their luggage.

Jared and Misha helped him and they put the wheelchair with the luggage as I would use my crutches I had a carryon bag for my art supplies and phone.

So, we all went down the elevator and said, “goodbye to everyone” then got taxi to the airport.

 

We arrived about 30 minutes later and we got our tickets and Jared did all our luggage with Misha's help. While Jensen sat with me waiting to we boarded the plane.

Jensen said, “Y/N?”

I said, “Mm."

He smiled and said, “I got Jared to get us first class tickets so you could rest your knee comfortable.”

I said, “what first class?”

He said, “Yeah we will have privacy and you will be comfortable.”

I smiled and said, “thank you Jensen.”

We got called to board the plane and Jensen carried me on to the plane while Misha carried my crutches. Jared was making sure I had a seat with a view and I could have my leg out comfortable.

I got the window seat in the very first row and the stewardess gave me something to rest my knee on.

Jared and Misha were talking quietly behind us and the plane started to move. I looked at Jensen and he saw the fear and anxious look in my eyes.

He moved closer so his arm was around me and said, “it's ok it's just them adjusting the flaps and then we were gliding down the run way my ears popped as we took off. Jensen continue “that's them putting the wheels up.”

I said, “Jay thank you I'm good now.”

We undid our belts and Jensen pulled the arm rest between us up so he could hold me.

Jared was walking around in front of me and said, “so how you are doing Princess?”

I said, “find now we are in the air.”

Misha said from behind me “you will get use of after a while it will become second nature.”

I smiled and said, “I hope so.”

Jensen said, “do you want to finish your drawing baby?”

I said “nah I want to enjoy the flight. I will do it on the way to Canada to fill in the time.”

He said, “ok baby anything you want.”

The Stewardess came over asked if we wanted anything to drink or eat?”

So, I asked for a lemonade. Jensen, Jared and Misha all had a beer.

I just relaxed against Jensen and all too soon the plane landed in Sydney. Jared carried me off the plane this time as Jensen was looking something up on his phone. We stopped at the gift shop and Jensen brought some flowers and some chocolates.

We when into the airport and Jared said, “we have three hours to kill. What do you want to do?”

Jensen said, “I have a something I would like us all to do while we are here?” pointing to the flowers and chocolates.

Misha said, “What Jensen?”

Jensen answered, “it's a surprise for Y/N."

I looked at him while still in Jared's arms and he put me down and Misha handed me my crutches.

Jensen said, “we need a cab.”

Jared whistled and a cab pulled up and picked us all up. Jensen gave him the address and we arrived about 10 minutes later. We all got out and three sets of eyes were on Jensen.

Jensen laughed and put his arm around me he said, “you ready baby?”

I said, “no."

We walked into the building and behind the counter it said SPN Productions.

I looked at Jensen as he asked for Sarah Fuller.

The Receptionist said, “Whom may I say is asking?”

Jensen said, “It's a surprise can you ask her to come out here please.”

The Receptionist gave him a dirty look but she rang Sarah.

“Hi Sarah,” she said.

“Hi What's up?” she asked.  

“There are three gorgeous men and one women out here for you?”

“Really, I will be right there," she answered. 

The Receptionist said, “she will be right out.”

The door opened a few minutes later and she looked at the four of us.

Jensen smiled and said, “Sarah?”

She said, “yes” with a huge smile on her face.

He smiled widen then and said, “this is Y/N, Jared, Misha and I'm Jensen.”

She laughed and said, “I know who you are.”

Jensen came over and hugged her and gave her the flowers and chocolates.

She said, “thank you, come with me where it's more private.”

We walked down the corridor to a lunch room no one was in there so Sarah gestured for us to come in. I was looking around and I saw pictures of them on the wall.

I said, “Jensen?”

Jensen said, “this is Sarah Fuller she was the one who found you and saved your life.”

Then I remembered the name and said, “Sarah."

Jensen smiled and said, “Yes.”

I hobbled over to her and I gave her a hug and whispered, “thank you for giving me Jensen.”

I pulled back and she looked between us and saw Jensen move to hold me around the waist.

She said, “are you two together?”

Jensen said, “yes we are.”

Jared said, “Sarah it was good of you to find Y/N for us."

Sarah said, “I can't believe you are all here?”

Misha said, “we are on our way home and had a stopover. Jensen wanted to come thank you.”

I said, “It was a surprise for me he wanted me to meet you. The women that basically save and changed my life and I will forever be in your debt.”

She said, “no it's fine really. So, tell me what happened when you all met?”

I laughed as Jensen, Jared and Misha looked guilty. It was Jared that said, “We found Y/N in the bath when we arrived.”

Misha continued the story, “Her front door lock was broken so we entered not knowing what we were going to find?”

Jensen said, “she was singing in the bath and I tapped her on the shoulder and scared her.”

I said, “then I was trying to get out of the bath and slipped on my flannel and pulled Jensen down into the bath with me.”

Jared laughed at the memory and said, “he looked like a drowned rat. Anyway, we got Jensen out and we learnt Jensen had broken Y/N's knee.”

Misha said, “long story short we went to the hospital and Jensen and Y/N fell in love and she's coming back home with us.”

She said, “Y/N are you happy?”

I said, “yes I really am” as Jensen lifted my hand with the ring on it.

She noticed the ring and said, “you’re not” pointing to the ring.

Jensen said, “no we are not, it's a promise ring.”

She said, “oh that's really good I'm happy for you both. I can I ask you a favour.”

Jensen said, “anything?”

She smiled and said, “May we get some pictures of you all for our walls.”

The three looked at Sarah and said in unison “it's the least we can do.”

Sarah said, “thank you.”

Jensen asked where's the bathroom.

Sarah said, “follow me.”

Jensen said, “I don't need the bathroom. I wanted to ask you something in private."

She said, “what's up?”

“When we come back in July for the convention it's Y/N's birthday on the Saturday and I want to do something special for her.”

“Like what?”

“Maybe a cake and presents. I was going to sing her favourite song too.”

“I can arrange a cake for you.”

“I would like you to be there too you are a friend now to us all.”

“I would like that very much.”

“Thank you, Sarah,”

“No problem really. I go get the photographer you going to go back to the lunch room?”

“Yeah, they will be waiting for us.”

Sarah had the photographer take pictures of the boys and Jensen asked to get one with all of us including me and one with just him and me. Sarah said," she would send them to us."

We said, “our goodbye's" and said, "we would kept in touch” and then we left.

We still have an hour so we explored Sydney and when to the Opera house and Sydney Harbour bridge we had lunch on the Opera house steps overlooking the bridge.

Then we headed back to the airport our flight was called about 30 minutes later. Jensen had called his Mum and Clif, Jared called Gen and Misha called Vicki to let them all know we were heading back and what time the flight got in. So, they could meet us at the airport. We all boarded the plane as I headed to my new life.

 

The months went by quickly as I settled into Jensen’s home and we fell in more in love if that was even possible. I became really good friends with Gen and Vicki. I spent more time with Gen than Vicki but we all got on well together. Donna become a fill in Mum fussing over me and making sure Jensen and I were ok. I have to admit I was starting to love Donna she was the Mum I always wanted.

Jensen’s family they all were very accepting of me and what Jensen felt for me. They were the family I always hoped for and I loved being with them. I also fell in love with Jared’s family especially Shep he was such a sweet little boy. He was always with me when I visited his home and made sure I was happy. Jared and Gen couldn’t get over how much Shep has grown attached to me and I him.

 

We were heading back to Australia for the convention I was much more healthy eating properly and I had a nice glow on my cheeks. My knee was healing well and I was seeing a therapist about my abuse Jensen went with me and held my hand all the way through it. He was a great support for me and when he couldn't go Jared and Misha came instead. I also was offered a job on set I was the one who kept Jensen, Jared and Misha in line while on set. It was a hard job especially when Jared and Jensen keep pranking Misha. I also run lines with the boys too. I got my Organisation set up and Jared, Jensen and Misha also helped with donations and charity events. I was coming home for my very first convention in Australia. After the convention, Jensen and I are headed to Adelaide to see Paul and get my knee checked hopefully I get the brace off and it’s healed completely with no need for surgery.

We arrived in Melbourne and the convention was the next day.

We when sightseeing in Melbourne for the day. Jensen had to leave for a while because he was performing at the convention so they had to do sound checks. So, I stayed with Jared and Misha we hung out at the motel and watched movies. I felt relaxed and happy. I was almost purring at how content I was lying next to Jared and he looked and laughed at me.

He said, “you doing good Y/N?”

I said, “I’m feeling wonderful.”

Misha said., “you look really happy Y/N.”

“I am I’ve never been this happy but I am a little scared what’s going to happen at the convention tomorrow?”

Jared said, "It’s fine we will have your back ok.”

Misha said, “I will,  goof it up as always so you don’t have to worry.”

I laughed then and said, “ok I hope everyone will like me?”

Jared said, “sure they will love you like we do.”

I smiled and blushed.

Jensen returned a short time later and we all when out for dinner.

We enjoyed ourselves and headed back to the hotel.

 

It was convention day and I was panicking on what to wear it was Winter in Australia so it was cold. I put on a pair of jeans and a thick woollen jumper to kept me warm.

Jensen smiled at me as he knows I get cold very quickly. We all headed out to the convention.

I was wringing my hands nervously when Jensen grabbed both of them and turned me towards him.

He smiled and said, “Look you been through so much and you’ve gotten threw it. You will get through this also just be yourself and they will love you like I do. I shook my head in answer and he kissed me lightly on the lips and rubbed my face to calm me.

We arrived and went in the back door to the stage area. Richard and Rob were on stage talking and Jared, Jensen and Misha were getting ready for their panel. I was sitting off to the side on a chair listening. Richard introduced them and the whole place was filled with screaming fans.

They said, “Hi, thank you all for coming.”

They answered questions which the fans had asked and the one come up about me.

Jensen said, "We have a surprise for you all?''

Jared said, "Yes it was a surprise for us too?"

Jensen said, "Will we were in Canada going through some lines for the episode. Richard you want to take over."

Richard said, "Y/N was helping Jensen, Jared and Misha with their lines. I was watching them as I was Directing the episode and I saw something in the way they all interacted with each other. Anyway I taped the scene, they were going through and I called Jensen over to come and look and he agreed."

Jensen said, "I was knocked off my feet. Y/N was a natural so Richard went and saw the producers and writers."

Jared said, "anyway to cut a long story short Y/N's in next week episode. It will be Y/N's first ever acting in an episode of supernatural."

I was thinking about that day off stage I was running lines with Jensen, Jared and Misha one day and the Director for the episode Richard Spieght Jnr was watching us. He liked what he saw and I was given a small part which they wrote into the show. I was very nervous my first day and I stuff my lines several times until Jensen told me to look at him and not worry about the cameras. So, I did and I was always self-conscious being in front of a camera but Jensen was always in all my scenes so I just looked at him. Richard told me I was a natural and the camera loved me.

I smiled as I became part of the cast by accident and everyone seemed to like me on there. I of course played Jensen’s love interest and was a hunter as well from Australia. They had found me in a middle of a vamps nest I had killed 6 vamps and the last vamp had crippled my knee when the Winchesters found me I was on the ground nursing my knee of course as the vamp was about to kill me. Sam killed the last vamp. Dean was very impressed and he picked me up and we went to the hospital. I stayed with the Winchesters until I healed and they asked me to stay afterwards and we hunted together.

Jensen and Misha had come off stage and grabbed me and I hobbled on to the stage with crutches.

Jensen smiled and said, "give her a round of applause everyone."

I looked self conscious during the whole applause and said, "thank you I hope you like my new character."

The fan asked, "so Y/N's apart of the supernatural family now. Will Y/N be doing photos and autographs today?"

Jensen said, "it's totally up to her."

I said, "I'm not sure yet. Richard is their anything set up for me?"

He said, "no but I can get something organised for you."

Other fan asked, "can we get pictures with Y/N and all of you as well?"

Jared said, "Sure if Y/N wants too."

Misha looked at me and I looked overwhelmed by it all. My head was spinning as I didn't know they were going to tell Melbourne I was in the next episode of Supernatural.

Jensen looked at me and winked.

Fan asked, "Y/N how's your knee? Is it getting better? How did you break it we heard Jensen did it?"

Jensen laughed and said, "yes I did," but didn't tell anymore.

I said, "it's doing fine. I'm hoping to get the brace off tomorrow when I see my doctor in Adelaide."

I smiled as I was glad the questions shifted from me as I moved back off stage. They answered a lot of questions as I was comfortable back stage they had ask me to stay but I told them it was their convention not mine so they let me off stage plus they knew I was uncomfortable in front of everyone.

Misha told the audience about his kids and Jensen told them about the stupid things they do on stage until one fan asked Jared about his kids.

Another fan asked Jared, “how’s your boys and baby Odette doing?”

Jared had a huge smile his face and said, “they are doing well Odette is growing and my youngest son Shep is in love?”

Jensen coughed and whispered so they just barely heard him with my girlfriend.

Misha said, “I know you all wondering about Jensen’s girlfriend you just have to hang on a bit a longer. You will get to meet her soon.”

The crowd cheered and another fan asked about the surprise they had for me.

Jensen said, “yeah would you like us to do that now?”

There were cheers and shouts yes.

Jared said, “Misha you want to help me?”

Misha and Jared left the stage while Jensen was saying "come on, come back it’s so bright.”

I was sitting by the stage when Jared said, “Hang on Jen we will be there in a sec.”

I was lifted off the chair and Misha and Jared had me between them supporting me without my crutches as they brought me back on stage.

“Jensen,” Jared said, “can you turn around.”

He turned towards me and a big shit eating grin was on his face. He walked over to me as Misha when back for another chair.

He held me in his arms as I was supported between Jensen and Jared this time as they led me to the chair.

I sat down and everyone cheered. Jensen kissed me in front of everyone. When they audience oohs.

He said, “shh you’re not suppose, to see,” they all laughed

Misha said, “Y/N do you remember the surprise we had for you when we contacted you on Facebook?”

I said, “I had totally forgot about it.”

Jensen laughed and said, “well here it is?”

Jared said, “Y/N you are going to Hawaii with us and being our special guest for the whole convention.”

I said, “what no it’s too much. You all have done so much for me I would like to give it to someone in the audience. Can I do that please.”

Jensen bent down and whispered we could go there for our honeymoon. I blushed and smiled at him and he was looking at me mischievously.

Misha said, “It’s your prize you can do what you want.”

Jensen said, “ok baby you choose someone?”

I said, “thank you” as I looked around the room there was a little girl sitting with another little girl. I looked at her she on thread bare clothes and her eyes were downcast. She reminded me of me I knew she was the one I wanted to have the trip. I looked at Jensen and he saw where I was looking and smiled. Jared and Misha followed my eyes and they smiled their agreement as well. Jensen went off stage and grabbed her hand. She looked up terrified and upset as he was looking at her.

Jensen walked her onto the stage and quietly asked her name.

She looked shy and scared as I ushered her over to me.

I said, “I know it’s scary I was scare too. You don’t need to be afraid here your safe ok.”

“I’m scared can I stay with you?”

“Sure, sweetheart what’s your name?”

“Hayley," she answered.

“That's a nice name. How did you come to be here today?”

“My best friend brought me. We watch supernatural at her house.”

“Is she here now?”

She nodded and pointed to the little girl off the side of the stage with other women.

Jensen was listening and when to grab her friend and bring her on stage as well.

“Hayley how would you like to repay your friends kindness.”

“I would but,” she stopped.

Misha came over and said, “Y/N."

“This is Hayley, Misha."

“Hi, Hayley would you like to come over to your friend?”

She stuttered, "ok."

Jensen and Jared were finding out her friend’s name when Hayley joined them.

Jared said, “everyone this is Hayley and April.”

I said, “Hayley and April how would you like to go to Hawaii and spend the weekend with these goofballs.”

Jensen looked affronted and said in a hurt voice “goofballs, hey we are amazing.”

I laughed then and Hayley and April settled more on stage.

Hayley looked at me with tears in her eyes as her friend hugged her. She came over to me and hugged me tight and said, “Thank you.”

“Your welcome sweetheart enjoy yourself.”

Jared said, “hang on Hayley and April since Y/N has picked you, you both get to be our guest for the remained of today. We will do photo ops and autographs anything you want ok.”

April said, “thank you. Mum did you hear.”

She said, “yes baby I did.”

She was standing off the side of the stage and she looked at me and mouthed a thank you towards me. I smiled in return.

I could see the kindness in this women’s heart for Hayley as she was treating her like a daughter too. I knew April will be Hayley’s friend forever.

 

The girls were talking to Misha as April’s Mum came over to me and said, “you don’t remember me, do you?”

I really looked at her as all the memories I wanted to forget came to the surface. She saw me visibility flinch at the memories. I saw her beating me every day in high school.

“I can’t make up for what I did to you all those years ago. I just wanted to apologies, my daughter has shown me what I did was wrong. She taught me a lesson I never was taught, tolerance for people who are different and accept them for who they are and not what they look like and kindness. She has shown me what I did to you was wrong."

Hayley has had a hard life her father is alcoholic and is very abusive towards her. My daughter who was in grade 4 at the time saw the other kids picking on Hayley so she stood up for her. She protects Hayley from the bullies. She also was strong enough to report them to the teachers and now the whole school is being re-educated about the effects of bullying.

I always wondered why you never reported us. With what we did to you.”

In a whisper, I reply “I never told anyone because I thought I deserved it all.”

Jensen saw the tear slip down my face and saw I was upset with the way I had closed my body off.

He said, “Baby you ok?”

“No, I’m not, this is one of the kids that bullied me at school. She has apologised and I know she feels bad but I can’t forgive her just yet.”

She looked sad at me but she understood why.

“You didn’t deserve any of the treatment you got from us or your parents. I wish I was strong like April to help you instead of hurting you. I am truly sorry.”

“Jensen, can you give her the Organisation's number so Hayley can get some help.

“Sure baby,” he hugged me briefly and I hobbled over to Jared and Misha and they both held me. I wiped the tears from my eyes and try to will the imagines out of my head.

“Ring this number and they will help you with things for Hayley.”

“Thank you. I am truly sorry.

Jensen smiled a sad smile as she will never know what Y/N has been through her whole life. So he tells her “she’s had it tough all her life and is now starting to live her life without fear of abuse. She is finally happy and is enjoying her life. You must had brought back the memories she had buried deep and all the hurt and anger she was feeling. She didn’t want to remember she is getting better back sometimes it’s just overwhelming for her. I am trying to make her life better and enjoyable. She will get through this because she is strong and well supported.”

She said, “I hope one day she can forget all that happened to her.”

“Me too it will take time and lots of love but I have enough for her as does Jared and Misha.”

“Y/N is lucky she has all of you to help her.”

“We are the lucky ones. I have to get back on stage.”

She smiled and went over to the girls and sat back down.

I was still being hugged by Jared when Jensen came over.

“Hey baby it’s ok we are here.”

He held me until I felt safe enough to leave his arms. Jared and Misha were back on stage and talking. Everyone was asking where Jensen and I was.

Misha said, “Y/N was a little upset so Jensen is comforting her they will be back out soon.”

Jensen said, “Hey look at me.” I turned my eyes towards Jensen, “you are stronger now. I know it hurts but she didn’t mean to hurt you today she just wanted to apologise. You can do this ok.”

I shook my head and he hugged me one last time and we headed back to the stage.

Jared smiled when he saw us and said, “Jensen and Y/N coming back on stage.”

I smiled as he looked so relieved that I was alright.

Jensen said once we were back on stage “I have a surprise for you?”

I said, “no you’ve given me so much already.”

“We hear it’s your birthday today Y/N," Jared said.

Misha said, “we would like to celebrate it with you.”

Jensen said, "Bring out the cake please.”

Sarah and Nicole had hold of this huge cake.

I smiled with tears in my eyes.

Jensen whispered we wanted to surprise you as you’ve never celebrated your birthday before.

I laughed and he kissed me on the lips it didn’t go unnoticed by the audience.

Jared said, “ok everyone let’s sing Happy Birthday to Y/N."

I could hear them all singing to me. I was so happy and overwhelmed with love.

Jensen said after everyone had finished singing, “we have a surprise for all your good people in Melbourne?”

There was complete silence as they waited for the announcement.

“Y/N here is currently starring in Supernatural her first episode will air next week so let’s give her a round of applause.”

Everyone was clapping and cheering.

Jensen picked up his guitar and started playing the song he was going to sing.

He said, “baby this song is for you.”

He started singing:

 

I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your fantasy.

 

The audience started screaming and cheering and I could hear them singing the words too.

 

“I’ll be your hope, I’ll be your love be everything you need.

 

He knew this was my favourite song as I always sang it in the bath and around the house.

 

I love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do

I will be strong, I will be faithful “cause I’m counting on a new beginning

A reason for living. A deeper meaning yeah

 

I want to stand with you on a mountain

I want to bath with you in the sea

I want to lay like this forever

Until the sky falls down on me.

 

Jared and Misha were standing next to me and they both had a hand on my shoulder.

 

And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,

I’ll make a wish send it to heaven then make you want to cry.

 

I was I had tears flowing unbidden down my face.

 

The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty

That we’re surrounded by the comfort and protect of

The highest power. In the lonely hours. The tears devour you

 

I want to stand with you on a mountain,

I want to bathe with you in the sea

I want to lay like this forever,

Until the sky falls down on me.

 

Oh, can you see it baby?

You don’t have to close your eyes’ cause I’m standing right before you

 

Jensen was standing in front of me as he saw the tears rolling down my face. He winked and smiled at me and I smiled back.

 

All that you need will surely come.

 

I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your fantasy.

I’ll be your hope, I’ll be your love everything that you need.

I’ll love you with every breath truly madly deeply do oooo.

I want stand with you on a mountain ooo

 

Then the song died out the audience were hysterical and screaming it was so loud in the room. Everyone was applauding and clapping and he said, “thank you” as he put the guitar down.

He came over to me and wiped the tears away gently and got down on one knee as he pulled out a box. He opened it and had a gorgeous ring in it. I wasn’t expecting Jensen to propose to me. He looked at me with so much love I knew I couldn’t live without him.

He said, “Baby you are a lot stronger than you think with everything you have been put through. You are alive and now with us here. I love you more than I thought I could love anyone. You are my whole world Y/N. Will you marry me?”

“Yes, Jensen I will marry you.”

He then kissed me passionately as he slipped the ring on my finger it was a diamond with two little one’s next to it. He took the promise ring off and slip it on my right hand.

He kissed me again as he lifted me to deepen the kiss as the audience were going crazy I could hear the cameras flashing around us.

I knew Nicole was in the audience filming all this but I didn’t care because I was the happiest person alive. I had the man I’ve always loved and he loved me nothing could be better than this.

Misha and Jared were happy and clapping too and waiting their turn to congratulate us.

When we finally pulled apart.

I said, “dreams do come true.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own the copyright for Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden. The song belongs to Darren Hayes and Daniel Jones. I hope you enjoyed it.  
> I might do epilogues with what happens to the Reader when she gets to Canada?


	7. Home (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This happens after the reader goes to Canada and meets everyone. You see how she handles everything while moved to a new country and into Jensen's home. Shep has his first crush on the reader to his parents surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reader meets everyone and collapses in exhaustion. Shep has his first crush.

** Epilogue **

Time went by quickly as we landed in Canada and we went through customs as we had nothing to declare so we were not held up. I was very tired from my flight. We headed out to the terminal where family and friends were waiting for their loved ones.

I was going slowly on the crutches and Jensen noticed I slipped and he caught me and swooped me into his arms. We walked out with Jared carrying my crutches and Jensen carrying me.

He put me down once they had found their families.

Jared ran over to hug and kissed Gen and his boys and nurse his daughter.

Misha hug and kissed Vicky and his kids.

Jensen walked over where he put me down and gave his Mum a tight hug and he turned to me. He said “Y/N this is my Mum. Mum this is Y/N”

I said, “please to meet you Mrs Ackles.”

She smiled and said “Please call me Donna. Do you enjoy your flight?”

I smiled and said, “it was very long.”

Jared pushed over towards us and he was holding his daughter.

Jared's little boy came over and hugged me. They both looked at the boy and Gen said “Shep would you like to hug Y/N?”

He nodded his head as Jared was about to give his daughter back to Gen when Jensen said, “I got this.”

He picked Shep up and Shep wrapped his arms around my neck so tight. I lifted him from Jensen as Jensen moved to hold me so I wouldn't fall.

I hugged him tight back as he pulled back in my arms and looked at me.

He said, “your pretty”

I said “thank you Shep your very handsome like your Dad" and he giggled. "My name is Y/N.”

He said, “that's my Mummy, Daddy, Tommy and Sissy” as that’s what the boys call her.

I said, “Yes I know Daddy but I haven't meet Mummy, Tom or Sissy yet.”

He said, “Mummy you want to meet Y/N?”

Gen moved forward and said “yes Shep I would like that.”

Jensen still had hold of us both as he smiled.

Shep said, “Mummy this is Y/N?”

I smiled and said, “Please to meet you Gen.”

She smiled back and said “you too. You must be special as Shep doesn't normally do this with strangers. He is normally a very shy boy.”

Shep said “Mummy I like Y/N and Unca Jensen loves her so can I love her too.”

Gen said, “I hope we all will love her baby.”

Gen hugged us both and took Shep out of my arms so I could meet Tom and Odette. I said, “hello Tom, how are you?”

Tom looked and said, “Hi Y/N what happened to you knee?”

Jensen laughed and said “Unca Jensen broken her knee.”

He looked and I said, “it was an accident.”

He smiled then and pulled Shep from his Mum's arms and they walked over towards Misha's kids.

Jared brought Odette up I looked at her she was gorgeous. He looked at me and was about to let me hold her and I said, “I shouldn’t I might drop her and she too precious to hurt.”

Jensen said, “it’s ok baby I will hold you both.”

I took Odette from Jared she was so tiny with her dark hair and big eyes looking at me. She looked like Jared she had his eyes and mouth and Gen's nose and smile. I had tears in my eyes at that moment I wanted it all with Jensen. Jared looked at me and said, “you ok Y/N?”

I said, “yeah she beautiful. I've never really held a baby before and all the baby smells and feels are a little overwhelming. Thank you Gen and Jared for letting me hold her it means a lot to me.”

I passed her back to Jared and Gen gave me a hug and said, “anytime Y/N.”

Misha brought his family over for me to meet as Gen had Odette in her arms as they headed off.

Vicky came over first and hugged me and said “please to meet you finally Y/N. I'm Vicki, Misha's better half.”

I had to laugh at that and Misha said, “She's probably right there.”

Misha said, “these are West and Maison my children.”

I lend down and said, “Please to meet you West” he shook my hand and Maison stretched up and kissed my cheek. “thank you, Maison, and I'm glad to meet you too.”

West said, “are you going to be staying with Uncle Jensen?”

I said, “yes I am.”

He said, “so I will see you again?”

I said “sure.”

He said, “can we play games together like Daddy does with me and Maison.”

I said, “I would love that very much.”

Jensen said "ya all coming back to my place?"

"No we don't want to overwhelm Y/N more than she already is" Cas said

"I will take the kids to Mum and Dads and we will come later. You will want to show Y/N around and get her settle in." Jared said 

"ok see you soon"

"thank you I will see you soon Jared and Misha can I see you tomorrow?"

"Sure" he kissed my cheek.

Jensen and Jared headed off to get our luggage 

Donna came over then and said “Y/N you alright?”

I said, “I'm a bit tired it's been a long few days.”

I started to sway a bit and both Donna and Misha noticed and grabbed me before I fell. Misha picked me up and carried me over to the chairs and sat me down.

He looked worried “are you alright Y/N?”

I smiled and said, “yes just really exhausted and need some sleep probably just jet lag. I will be fine once I've had some sleep.”

Gen had gone in search for Jared and Jensen it was his boys that found them first.

Shep ran up “Daddy and Unca Jensen” they noticed the worried in his boy’s eyes.

He said, “what baby, what happened Mummy and Odette are alright?”

Tom said, “Their ok Daddy, its Y/N”

Jensen said “Shep, Tom what happened?”

Gen finally caught up to her boys as Jensen asked what happened to Gen.

Jared had wrapped his arms around his wife and child and she said “Y/N almost collapsed. She told us she was exhausted and had jet lag but Jensen she looks very pale.”

Jensen said, “Jared you right with theses. I will send Misha to help.”

Jensen turned to see Clif coming towards them.

Jared said, “Go I will sort Clif out with the luggage.”

Jensen was gone he got back to me in a few minutes.

He looked worried as my face had paled even more.

He said, “you alright baby?”

I said, “yeah it's been a long exhausting day Jay can we go home now.”

He said, “sure baby Clif's here so our luggage should be in the car.”

Donna said, “you ok to walk Y/N?”

I said, “I'm fine really.”

I stood up with my crutches and almost fell again.

Jensen lifted me into his arms as my head rested on his shoulder and carried me out with Misha's family following and Gen and the boys close behind as Odette was still in her arms. Donna stood off to one side of me giving me a worried mother look. She gently rubbed my back as Jensen carried me.

Shep had picked up the crutches and him and Tom were carrying them.

"Clif" Jensen said as he half hugged the rough looking man as he still had me in his arms.

Clif said “all packed Jay.”

Jensen said “Clif this is Y/N. Y/N baby this is Clif he is our bodyguard slash protector and friend. He will make sure you are safe too.”

I was half asleep when I mumbled please to meet you Clif. Jared came over with his boys and they both gave me a quick hug at Shep's insist. Gen half hugged me because of her little girl in her arms. Misha hugged me as well and Vicki pat me on the shoulder. Jensen put me in the car and he climbed in after me after saying goodbye to everyone. His Mum lent into the car and said “have a good sleep Y/N. We will talk" she gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek and turned to give her son the same.

Clif said “Jensen let's get Y/N home?”

Jensen had me in his arms and I fell asleep a few moments later.

We arrived at Jensen house a short time later and he gently kissed me and said, “we are here baby.” Cliff smiled at the endearment as he knows Jensen doesn't give his affection easily.

I opened my eyes and said, “Jensen.”

He smiled and said, “we are home baby.”

Clif said “Jensen do you want me to bring the bags in for you?”

Jensen said, “I will get Y/N settled and I will come help you.”

Clif said “Ok I will start bringing them in.”

Jensen said, “Baby you want to walk or me carry you” with a shit eating grin on his face.

I said, “I can use the crutches you help Clif with the bags Jay.”

He gave me a quick kiss and helped me out of the car I wobbled so he picked me up I looked at his house it was beautiful. We stood there and I just looked as Clif opened the door to the house.

Jensen watched my face and he saw the love in my eyes and he smiled.

"it's beautiful Jay, I love it especially the roses"

"Wait to you see the inside baby?"

As he carried me over the threshold of his home. I was hit with a sweet smell not sure what the smell is. I will have to ask Jensen later. 

He carried me in and shown me the loungeroom area it was big and spacious. It had a beautiful grey lounge in the middle with a huge Entertainment system and some DVD’s. He had bookcases with loads of different authors. The doors were open and a cool breeze was coming through it. I felt relaxed and happy.

He said, “you be alright while I help Clif with the bags” as he put me on the comfortable lounge.

I said, “I will be fine you go help him. It’s too much with all my luggage on his own.”

He smiled and said, “I will be right back.”

I sat and just took in Jensen home it smelt like apples and oranges I wonder if he has trees somewhere.

I felt relaxed I drifted off to sleep again.

Clif said “How is she Jay?”

“She’s good, she’s on the lounge while I help you.”

“wow she has some amount of luggage here Jay.”

“yeah we brought her some nice new clothes as hers were not good.”

Clif looked at Jensen and said, “you really love her don’t you. I’ve never seen you like this with any other women in your life. She must be one special lady for you to fall in love with?”

He smiled and said “Clif I was so gone before I even left for Australia and when I meet her it just seemed to all fall into place. Her and me it seemed natural and I knew I wouldn’t leave her no matter what.”

“we better get these inside she will be wondering what has happened to us by now. Jay I’m happy for you man, if there is anything I can do for you and her just let me know.”

“thanks, Clif” they hugged briefly as they took most of the luggage inside the house.

Jensen came to check on me and saw I was asleep so he gently lifted me off the lounge and carried me upstairs to my room he pulled the covers back and laid me gently on the sheets and covered me with the blankets. He removed my shoes and put a pillow under my knee. He then kissed me and said, “I will be back in a minute.”

Not that I heard him I was sound asleep.

Clif said “she all good.”

Jensen shook his head “I put her in her bed to sleep. I will go up after we bring the rest of the luggage in.”

Clif said “Ok”

They brought last of it in and Clif bid Jensen goodbye and left.

Jensen grabbed a quick drink of water and headed upstairs to my room. He was tired from the long journey so he took his shoes of and his jeans and slipped into bed with me wrapping me in his arms. He kissed me gently and feel asleep too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter the reader and Jensen get a bit hot and heavy (sorry no sex yet). Reader has a memory of the past and it send her into a panic. Will Jensen, Jared and Misha be able to save her or will she hurt herself?


	8. Home (The Past)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader and Jensen get hot and heavy. The Reader had a bad memory from the past and panics. She cuts her wrist and is bleeding. Will Jensen, Jared and Misha be able to save her or will it be too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader and Jensen get hot and heavy (Sorry no sex yet). The Reader had a bad memory from the past and panics. She cuts her wrist. Will Jensen, Jared and Misha be able to save her or will it be too late?
> 
> Please be aware the attempted suicide memory is from when the Reader was 8 years old.  
> Please do not read if it triggers any memories please take care of yourself. You are important so please don't read if it will harm you in anyway.
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own.  
> Thank you for reading my story and thank you for any comments and kudos.

I woke first trying to remember my surrounding then I felt strong arms wrapped around my waist. It was later in the day and I felt much better.

I rolled careful in Jensen’s arms and just looked at how relaxed his face looked and how handsome he really was. He opened his beautiful green eyes and smiled.

He said, “Hi baby have a good sleep?”

I said, “Yes wonderful I feel much better.”

“Would you like me to show you around our home? This is your room" as I sat up to have a look around it was beautiful. It was a four poster with bed with netting. Everything on the bed was different shades of purple. The room was painted a lavender and I could still smell the paint. I had a huge wardrobe and drawers everywhere. There were purple roses by the bed.

His pointed to the door and said "That's your bathroom. I will show you it later. How do you like it?"

I looked around the room as a tear slipped down my face I was so happy. 

"I love it Jensen, it's beautiful." 

He wiped the tear away and said, " How about I show you the rest of the house?" 

“In a minute” and I kissed him deeply, he returned the kiss with just as much passion.

Then he moved away so he could show me the rest of his home he was proud of his home.

How about I show you upstairs first. I nodded and grabbed my crutches and hobbled behind him. He leads me to a door and opened it. "Bathroom, spare room, and this is" as he opened the door. I looked in wonder it smelt of Jensen his cologne and leather. "This is my room," as I looked at everything he lead me into it and I sat on his bed and just took in that I was actually in Jensen's home.

I felt overwhelmed with happiness and the tear slipped down my face I wiped it away. I looked at Jensen and said, "Thank you for loving me."

He kissed me softly and said, "Show you downstairs."

We headed out and I stopped at the top of the stairs. He looked then realised why I stopped. I looked at him and he smiled swooped me off my feet and carried me slowly down the stairs. I carried my crutches down. We reached the bottom and he slid my body down against his as I put the crutches in place. He kissed me again a lot more heated than before. Our tongues explored the others mouth and I moaned into the kiss. He pulled away and we continue the tour. He showed me the kitchen, laundry, study, a few other rooms. 

We were in the lounge room when Jensen said, "We can change anything you want too Y/N?"

"No, I don't want to it's beautiful Jensen" he preened at the complement.

"Want to see outside?"

"Jensen," that one word holding so much meaning.

He saw the look on my face and said, "What's wrong baby?"

"No one’s ever done this for me before Jensen. I've never had a nice room, clothes or even house, it's just all new to me."

"I know baby but I'm here and we will work this out together ok"

"I know and I love you for your support but I'm feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment."

"I can tell everyone not to come over tonight."

"I need some time to get used to being here Jay, you’re not mad at me?"

"Of course not, I should have thought of it. I'm sorry for pushing you when you’re not ready yet. I will ring them now. How about you have a nice hot bath."

"Ok," wiping the tears from my eyes.

"I will run it for you, you be alright while I call everyone."

"Sure."

He left to go get his phone. He called Jared first.

"Hey Jared."

"Hey Jensen, what's wrong? Y/N's aright?" with concern in his voice. 

"Can we delay you coming over Y/N's feeling overwhelmed at the moment."

He sighed with relief and said "Sure Jay. She looked really nervous at the airport. How about we give her a few days to settle in and then we will try again?"

"Thanks man, I know she would love to see you tomorrow? Can you Gen and the boys and Odette and hug for me?"

"Ok, I will come alone and I will give they a hug for you, Bye Jay."

"Bye, Jared."

Then he rang his Mum.

'Hi Mum, "he said.

"Hi doodlebug."

"Mum, Y/N is feeling really overwhelmed at the moment can we delay for a few days?"

"Is she alright honey?"

"Yeah, she's just in a new place and country and I think it's all catching up with her."

"Did she like the room Jensen?"

"Yeah, she loved it Mum. She had tears in her eyes, she said, "No one has ever done something so beautiful. Thanks Mum for getting it ready for her."

"That poor girl hasn't had a lot, has she?"

"No, she hasn't Mum. I want to give her everything, she's had so much abuse and hatred in her life. I want to show her that we can love her, that she will always be a part of our lives. Mum I realised when I was in Australia, how much I care and love her. You know Mum I gave her the promise ring in hopes that we will marry one day. I want to build a life and have children with her. I wanted her the first time I saw her. She was all I wanted."

"I know honey I saw the way you were with her at the airport. The way you look at each other it's like she's apart of you."

"Mum you think it's too soon to marry her?"

"Jensen," in a serious voice "I think you need to get to know each other first, remember she still has some things to sort out. I don't think she can deal with a marriage propose yet? Just take it slow and get to know each other."

"I know I just don't want to lose her Mum."

"I know doodlebug just be there to support her. We will be here to help support you both. I will see you in a few days."

"Thanks  Mum, Love you"

"Love you too doodlebug, bye."

"Bye Mum."

I was sitting in the lounge just smelling the sweetness in the air. Jensen was in the doorway watching taking everything in.

He said, "Hey ready for your bath?"

"Jensen what's the sweet smell in the air?"

He looked at me and said, "It's the apple and orange trees, I think I have a lemon tree too. Would you like to see?"

I shook my head and he walked with me outside with his arm wrapped around my waist. I was standing there just looking at his land it when as far as I could see. He was smiling and looked at my amazement. It was gorgeous he had trees off to the side of a road that lend down to big buildings he saw me look at him with the question at what they were.

He said, "The building in front is the barn and the other is the horse stables."

"Horses?"

"Yeah, horses I will take you down another day. Here are the apple, oranges and lemon trees." He pulled off an apple and an orange for me to try.

He bit the orange to pull the skin off it. He passed me a slice and I put in my mouth as the juice ran down my hand. I looked at him and smile and hummed in satisfaction. He passed me half of the orange as we both ate it. He ran inside and grabbed a cloth to wipe our hands.

He gently wiped one of my hands and kissed my palm it sent a shiver down my spine. Then the other hand he licked the juice from my fingers and I started moaning. He licked his lips to kissed me then and he tasted of orange his lips were so soft and fit perfectly with mine. He smelt so amazing and I felt at home in his arms. He deepens the kiss as we were tasting each other's mouth. He lifted me and my crutches fell to the ground as he laid me under the apple tree. He kissed my neck finding my pulse point I mewled in pleasure and he started to unbutton my shirt and kissed down my neck. He made his way to one breast as he kissed it through my bra. He wanted more and pushed it aside. I murmured Jensen's name as he continued the exploration of my breast. Then he moved to the other side and laved his tongue over it. Sucking and nipping gently as I ran my hand through his hair. He looked at me and kissed me hard on the mouth. When he pulled away we were both breathless. I saw the lust in his eyes as his pupil were black with want. He moved his hands to my skirt pulling it up to get into my panties. I was wet and soaking from just kissing Jensen, I could feel his hard member through his jeans. I started to panic and thought I can't do this it's too soon I'm not ready.

"Jensen," I said as try to push his weight off me. He was still kissing me as I said it louder "Jensen, stop" he stilled his movements as soon as I said stop.

He looked at me with worry. I turned my head in horror and guilt for disappointing him. He pulled my head back and said, "It's ok."

I didn't need to say the words the horror on my face was enough. He kissed me again as he moved next to me gently stroking my face with his thumb his eyes never braking contact.

"I'm sorry Jensen, I can't I'm not ready."

"Hey, it's ok I should have stopped sooner."

"No, it's fine, it was nice and I was enjoying it. I'm just not ready to have sex with you yet. Please be patient with me Jensen it scares me."

"How about I get you used of my touches and work our way from their ok. If you get uncomfortable tell me I will stop."

"Thank you, Jensen."

"We better head in," as the sun was going down. He helped me up and washed my other hand as he held it a bit longer than necessary to let me know everything was fine. He picked my crutches up as we headed inside.

He said, "You hungry I can make us some dinner or get take out of you want?"

I said, "Whatever is easier for you Jay."

He went in the kitchen and see what was in the fridge. He pulled out some bacon and tomatoes and other ingredients for Spaghetti Bolognese. He had me cut up the bacon and tomatoes and other vegetables he was putting in there. We sat down and ate twenty minutes later as we ate he said, "Jared is coming over tomorrow and I think Misha is too?"

I said, "It would be nice to spend time with them."

He looked at me and knew I was still upset over what happened earlier. He said, "Y/N?" I looked up, "I love you and when you’re ready we will make love, ok."

I smiled a sad smile and said, "Ok."

He got up and put the dishes in the dishwasher. "How about we go watch some TV? How about a Star Wars trilogy?"

"Star Wars?" I questioned.

He laughed and said, "You will love it. Come on I will get you settle and make some popcorn and hot chocolate's."

I sat on the comfortable lounge Jensen turned the TV on and I sat and waited for him to return. He sat next to me and turned me so I was leaning on his chest. I hum in contentment as he turned on the DVD. I sat drinking my hot chocolate my eyes glued to the TV. Jensen was watching trying not to laugh. I was so into the movie I hadn't realise he was watching me. When the first one finished he asked if I liked it. I looked at him and said, "It was incredible. I never got to watch TV at my house I was always shut in my room."

We watched the next two Jensen held me when I cried when Han was in cased in carbonite. Then I jerked when Luke lost his hand. I cried again when Darth Vader told Luke he was his father and Luke was trying to save him. Then it ended as I wiped my tears away Jensen turned me and hugged me. He didn't say anything just held me in his arms.

I sniffed and said, "Are there anymore Jensen?"

"Yeah but three after weren't very good but they made another that was ok."

"Can we watch that one too?"

"I think you've had enough Star Wars for the night. How about that bath I promised you earlier."

I nodded yes as he turned everything off and lifted me into his arms and carried me into my bathroom. It was the first time I had seen it the bath was huge and deep and had jets in it. He turned the water on as he poured bubble bath into it.

I started to undo my shirt he stopped me and started to undo the buttons for me. He placed a quick kiss on my shoulder before pulling off the shirt and threw it on the floor. He slowly undid my bra and it joined my shirt. He took a brief look at the tub and turned the water off. He turned to jets on and said, "It will help your leg." Then he continued his journey of pulling off my clothes my skirt and pantie soon joined the pile on the floor. He stepped back and looked at me and he smiled, "Your beautiful Baby," not touching me just looking. He smiled that shit eating grin of his and moved to kiss me deeply. Then he lifted me and placed me in the tub. I moaned at the bubbles where the jets were soothing my aches and pains. 

Jensen said, "Donyou want help with washing your hair."

I smiled and said, "Yes please."

He got a cup and started wetting my hair and then he put shampoo and massaged into my scalp. I moaned in pleasure and he continued. 

"How does that feel Baby?"

"Wonderful and relaxing," I said.

He continued until he had to rinse my hair and then he condition it as well I was lost, I was so relaxed I almost fell asleep again.

He rinsed my hair and put a towel around it as he asked if I was finished. I had to wash myself quickly and he lifted me out and put a towel around my body. Then he carried me to the bedroom and got me my comfy shirt of his I was still wearing to bed with a pair panties and pj shorts. When I was dressed and comfortable he set to work on drying my hair. Then he got my brush and brushed my hair.

"You have beautiful long hair Baby. It's glorious I love your hair this long." As he pulled the brush through it. When he finished he left it hanging down my back loose. He gently lifted me again and I asked, "Where are we going?"

"I'm putting down by the fire so your hair dries and I'm going to go have a quick shower. I will be right back ok. I will leave the phone next to you in case someone calls."

He put me down on the soft rug in front of the fire it was cosy and warm. He ran up the stairs to go shower. I was looking into the fire and just getting lost in the feelings of contentment when the phone rang.

It took me a moment to register the ringing and as I was brought out of my haze.

I push the speaker button and said, "Hello."

"Hello Y/N, this is Donna."

I smiled and said, "Hi Donna, how are you?"

"I'm fine Dear."

"Jensen's in the shower if you wish to talk to him?"

"No, I wanted to see how you were settling in?"

"Good, Jensen showed me around and I need to thank you for my beautiful room. I love it."

"Your welcome Dear, it was Jensen's idea to do it purple for you."

"He is an amazing man Donna he has helped me in so many ways. I don't want to think about what would have happened to me if I never had meet them."

"You don't have to, your safe and Jensen will keep you happy and safe."

"I know he will."

"Look all I ask is you don't break his heart."

"I won't Donna, I love him."

"I know Dear, I have to go and sort out his father. I will talk again soon. Take care."

"Bye Donna you too."

"Bye Y/N, give Jensen my love."

Then she hung up just as Jensen walked in from his shower. "Who was on the phone?"

"Donna she just seeing how I was settling in. I told her I was good and that you showed me around today."

"Sorry about that, she tends to worry."

"No, it's fine really."

He sat down behind as he grabbed a blanket and gently laid us both down and pulled the blanket over us and pulled some cushions off the lounge for pillows. He said, "You want to sleep here tonight in front of the fire?"

I hummed my agreement as he pulled me into his arms and I felt my eyelids closing in sleep. I closed them as he kissed me goodnight and my breathing even out as Jensen felt asleep too.

 

Sometime during the night, the fire had burnt out as I snuggled into Jensen more. He pulled me tight against his body as he murmured my name in his sleep. Morning came too quick for the both of us as we groaned with the morning sunlight coming through the windows. 

I turned to see Jensen looking at me. He pulled some of my hair from my face and gently kissed me. 

He smiled and said, "morn'in Baby."

"Morning already, it’s too early."

He laughed and said, "It's 8 o'clock. You want some breakfast?"

"No want to lie here with you," then my stomach rumbled.

Jensen said, "guess your stomach has other ideas" with a grin.

He got up and helped me up too. He got my crutches and he kissed me long and passionately before making our way to the kitchen. 

I said, "Now that's a good morning" he laughed a deep throaty laugh and said, "Yeah it is."

We had a quick breakfast and got ready for the day. I put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt with a pullover. 

He was looking at me and there was a knock on the door.

Jared was on the other side of the door. He looked happy to see me but a little sad.

He said, "hey Princess, how are you?"

"fine thanks, what's wrong?"

"Shep wanted to come too and I had to say no and he was upset when I left. Gen was trying to calm him down. Looks like he's taken with you too. My 3-year-old has he's first crush" and sighs.

"you could have brought him"

"no, it would've been fair to leave Tom home."

"anyway, are you all settled in yet?"

"I still have to unpack, Jensen showed me around yesterday. This place is huge and the trees are amazing. I had an orange yesterday it was delicious" as I licked my lips.

Jared laughed "I see your enjoying Jensen's fruit."

Then there was another knock and Misha stood there on his own. I looked at him and he said, "Vicki though it best to give you some time to settle more."

He kissed my cheek as did Jared a few moments before. "You’re looking good all settle?"

Jensen said, "we both have unpack our clothes." I gave him a smile of thanks. 

We all sat while the boys drank their coffees and it was getting towards lunch time. 

Jensen said, "you guys hungry I can go make some sandwiches"

I said "can I do it please Jensen. I will be fine can you help me with the ingredients out of the fridge."

Jared looked at him in their silent communication to say let her be independent.

He said, "sure baby."

I beamed this bright smile at him and he grinned back pleased that he made me happy. So, he helped me with all the ingredients and said, "need any help call out ok"

I nodded as he kissed me and when back to talk with Jared and Misha.

Misha said, "she all set"

Jensen said, "yes she's all good"

So I set about making us all a sandwich. I picked up the knife to cut the tomato. I was looking at it but not really seeing it. It gleamed in the light as I had to turn my head and shy away from the bright glare on the knife. Then I was hit like bulldozer a memory of my parents beating me and telling me I was worthless, I was nothing, a nobody, a piece of shit to stomp on. I started heaving I couldn't get air into my lungs as I was reliving this memory.

The vivid memory continue I was lying on my bed angry. I had taken a knife from the kitchen after they left me lying on the floor bleeding, bloody and battered. I looked at the knife like it was foreign, like it was my only salvation out of the pain and abuse. I was in my room when I turned my wrist and I sliced downward. I didn't scream or even make a sound as I didn't feel any pain. I felt peace as I watched the blood appear around the wound. Then I cut my other wrist as well as the knife was bloody as blood drip down my hands.

I was feel lightheaded so I laid down on my bed. It was just a matter of time my 8 years wiped away, all the abuse and pain gone. I shut my eyes and waited, then my door open and my mother look at me. For a brief moment I thought she might let me die. Then she decided to help me, she slapped me across the face. She got me up and told me to hold my wrists. I was only a child so I found it hard and I was lightheaded and disoriented from the loss of blood.  I was covered with blood and so was my bed but she looked angry and I knew I was in for a serious beating. She rip some of my rags for clothes and told me to put pressure on the wounds. She wound two different rags around my wrists and she tied them tight I winced at the pain. She looked at how pitiful I looked and she punched me in the face. I collapsed unconscious on my bed.

I had cut my wrist without realising it while in the memory. Their was blood pouring out of it dripping on the floor. 

Jensen called out to me but got no reply wondering what was taking so long with the sandwiches.

"Y/N?" he called sounding worried every second he couldn't see me. He ran into the kitchen I was fighting to breathe and he saw the blood dripping down my arm onto the floor. With the knife against my other wrist, I was just looking down at it.

"Fuck" he shouted and Jared and Misha heard and came running into the kitchen. He ran over to me and took the knife from my grasp and threw it across the floor. It slide across the floor and landed near the fridge.

He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my wrist. He gently ease me to the floor with Misha's help while Jared called and ambulance. I was still dazed and out of it.

Jensen said calmly "baby look at me, can you do that for me?"

He was worried as I wasn't responding. I was still in the daze. Can they save me or will it be too late?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reader sees a counsellor for the first time. It is very hard and lots of tears for her and Jensen as he accompanies her to her appointment.


	9. Home (The Hospital)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader finally gets help for all the abuse she has gone through. Can the psychiatrist help or is it too late for the reader. Will he be able to handle what she did or will it all crumble to the ground?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader hurts herself and is taken to hospital where she sees a psychiatrist.
> 
> Reader is diagnosed with PTSD and has no memory of what had happened when she cut herself.
> 
> Please be aware description of past child abuse. So please do not read if it will trigger anything. You are important and you need to stay healthy. Please take care of yourself first. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are mine. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading my story. Comments appreciated and welcomed and also welcome kudos. Thank you for all comments and Kudos.

**Jensen said calmly "baby look at me, can you do that for me?"**

 

My eyes were still not focusing as he gently touched my face. I saw worried green, hazel and ocean blue eyes looking at me.

Jared said, "Ambulance will be here in a minute I can hear the siren."

Jensen didn't acknowledge Jared he was solely focused on me. Misha still had hold of my wrist as Jensen said, "that's it baby, breathe with me, in, out, in, out, that's it, in, out." He kept this up until my breathing had settled and the tears stopped flowing.  He grabbed hold of me and held me in his arms just to reassure himself I was alright and to comfort me. He whispered, "you're alright now, I'm here, you're safe"

I held onto him tightly as Jared said,"we should get her off the floor Jensen."

Jared lifted me and carried me into the lounge room as Misha still had a tight grip on my wrist. Jensen had brought clean towel in.

I said, "what happened?"

Jensen looked at me and said, "you don't remember?"

I said, "no all I remember is making lunch and then went to cut the tomato and then you holding me."

I was looking at my wrist. Jensen said, "do you remember cutting your wrist?"

"No I don't remember anything Jensen, what's wrong with me" with my head down covering my tears. In a whisper I said, "please I need some help I can't do this alone. Will you all help me?"

Jared said, "of course I will, do you want me to call Gen and Donna?"

I looked in horror as I shook violently at the thought. I said, "no please don't Donna will hate me and make me leave Jensen. I couldn't bare the look on her face, the disappointment and losing Jensen, Jared please," pity in my eyes.

"Ok, I won't call Donna or Gen for now."

 Misha said, "will with not leave you when you need us most. I know, I won't leave you."

"Gen and Shep would kick my ass if I left you when you needed us," Jared said.

"Mum wouldn't do that baby she loves you and she knows how much, I love you. She will want to support you." 

Then the ambalance pulled up and Jared let them in. 

The nice paramedic had a look and cleaned and bandaged the wound and said, "I would need to get stitches, so they will have to take me to the hospital. You can follow in the car."

I looked scared and agitated and said, "No, Jensen don't leave me!"

The paramedic didn't want me to get upset so she said, "Jensen could come."

Jared said, "We will follow you in the car."

Jensen said, "Ok, see you then."

We left in the ambulance, as Misha washed his hands and Jared cleaned the blood from the floor in the kitchen.

Jared said, "So much blood. I thought we were going to lose her Misha. It scared me so much."

Misha said "Yeah, me also, I just hope she is alright?"

Jared said, "what if they put her in 36 hour lock down. I don't think either of them will survive without the other now. You saw how she was with the ambulance." 

"Yeah she looked scared and terrified."

"I hope they can help her and she's alright. Jensen will not cope well if anything happened to her."

 

We arrived at the hospital a short time later. The nurse took my pulse and heart rate and oxygen levels as the doctor walked in. He introduced himself as Will and he had a look at my wrist.

He said, "can you tell me what happened, Y/N?"

I looked at Jensen and shook my head no.

He said, "ok, let's get this fixed up"

He gave me multiple needles to deaden my arm as I winced with each needle prick. Jensen had hold of my other hand as each needle went in. I squeezed his hand hard they put 8 stitches in my wrist and then bandaged it. Telling me not to get it wet.

Then he said, "Y/N do you know what happened?"

"No I don't remember. All I remember is Jensen holding me and my arm bleeding."

"I need to ask were you trying to kill yourself? Have you tried before?" Looking at my previous wounds.

"No, I don't think I was. I was happy but I feel ashamed and hate myself for doing this to Jensen, Jared and Misha. I can't remember anything what happened. Yes I have tried to kill myself before."

"I would like a psychiatrist to come talk with you, are you alright with that Y/N?"

I shook my head as my eyes were filling with tears. Jensen had hold of me as I lean into his touch. He was my comfort, my strength, my love, without him I don't know what I would do.

Jared and Misha turned up just after the doctor left. 

Jared asked, "How are you, Y/N?"

I said, "I'm better now my wrist is fixed up."

Jensen said, "They are sending a psych to talk to Y/N"

Misha looked at Jared and Jensen noticed. "What Jared?"

He sighed a heavy sigh and said, "Misha and I were talking and we thought what if they put Y/N in lock down for 36 hours?"

I said, "No, Jay didn't let them take me away."

Jensen grabbed me and rubbed soothing circles on my back to calm me down.

Then an older women walked in and smiled. She said, "I'm Daniela Morgan, I head of psychiatric here in the hospital. Hello Y/N, I heard you had an accident."

I pulled my eyes down so I wouldn't have to look at her.

Jensen said, "She's worried you might put her in lock down for 36 hours."

Daniela said, "Not unless she's a risk to herself or others. Do you mind if I talk to her alone?"

I shook my head telling Jensen no don't leave me. Then I cried, "please Jensen don't leave me."

Daniela saw I was getting distressed and she said, "It's ok Y/N, Jensen can stay. Just breathe that's it a little more. Has this happened before Jensen?"

"Yes, it has!"

"What else has happened?"

Jensen took a deep breathe and said, "Y/N was bleeding when I found her, she had cut her wrist, her eyes were unfocused, she couldn't hear me, she was in a daze, she was having trouble breathing. I didn't think we were going to get her back as she was unresponsive. It frightened me."

"So, your saying Y/N was unresponsive, dazed, having trouble breathing, bleeding and unfocused. Is that right?"

"Yes!"

"How did you get her to respond to you again, Jensen?"

"I touched her face and she seemed to come out of it."

"Did she say anything?"

"Only she couldn't remember, what happened?"

"I see, Y/N can you tell me what you remember."

I looked at Jensen and he had hold of me still. "I was making sandwiches for lunch and I was about to cut some tomatoes and next thing I know I was on the lounge with my wrist bandaged and Jensen's, Jared's and Misha's worry faces looking at me.

"So you still don't remember what happened in between?"

"No, I don't. I think I'm losing my mind. What's happening to me Daniela?"

"I will need to do some tests but my diagnosis would be Post Trauma Stress Disorder. With the memory loss, the dazed expression, the panic attacks, unfocused eyes are all symptoms of PTSD. When you cut yourself I think you were having a flashback of something that had happen in your life. I would like to explore that a bit more when you come to see me. For now I don't think you're a danger to anyone but Jensen keep an eye on her. Make sure she has plenty of rest too. I will prescribe an antidepressants and a tablet to help you sleep."

I said, "Jensen helps me with my sleeping. I don't think I would need that one."

"I will give it to you anyway ok. Can you call this number tomorrow and make an appointment at the clinic here at the hospital" as she passed the card to me and my prescriptions. 

"So, I can go home?"

"Yes, you can but if you have anymore problems call the number on the card. It's a twenty four hour service. They will send someone out if you need any help."

"You can go now Y/N, remember to call the clinic in the morning and we will have a longer talk then."

"Ok, thank you, Daniela, we will see you soon."

Jensen helped me as he forgot the crutches. We headed out to Jared and Misha. Their faces lit up when they saw me leaning heavily on Jensen. Jared had my crutches in his hands as he brought them over. They both hugged me tightly to them.

He said, "thought you might need these?"

"Thanks, Jared it was good of you to remember them for me."

Misha said, "So, what happened?"

Jensen said, "Y/N can come home and I have to keep and eyes on her for now. We also need to ring the clinic tomorrow for and appointment. Need to get her some medication as well."

Jared said, "the doctor say anything on what might be wrong, Y/N?"

I looked at Jensen and said, "She thinks it might be Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?"

Jensen said, "She has given Y/N scripts to get filled and see if they help?"

Misha said, "there should be a pharmacy in the hospital? Jared and I could go look and you two wait here?"

I said, "That will be good Misha, thanks I am a bit exhausted."

Jared said, "Ok" Jensen pulled out his wallet and Jared looked at him and said,  "No need I got this Jensen." They walked off looking for the hospital's pharmacy.

Jensen smiled as he helped me over to the chairs where I rested my head on his shoulder as he held onto me. Jensen moved his arm so he was holding me.

"It's going to be alright baby. You will get better and we will beat this."

I must have drifted off to sleep as Jared and Misha came back.

Jensen said, "baby wake up it's time to go."

I yawned and said, "Jensen, what's happening?"

"Jared and Misha are back we can go home."

"I'm don't want to, to comfortable."

Then I heard them laughing at me as a pair of arms scooped me up as I rested my head on his shoulder. I knew the familiar smell and scent of Jared holding me. Jensen grabbed my crutches as we walked out to the car. Misha had opened the doors and Jensen got in first as Jared passed me to him. Jensen had me lying as my head rested on his legs. Jared drove back to Jensen's as I was again asleep and Jared carried me inside and laid me on the lounge. Jensen put a blanket over me.

Jared said in a whisper, "you go back to work tomorrow. What's going to happen with Y/N?"

Jensen said, "I will talk to her and see if she will have maybe Gen or Mum sit with her?"

Misha said, "She was really upset with Donna finding out."

Jensen said, "yeah I know but I can't leave her alone."

Jared said, "I will talk with Gen and maybe she could bring the boys over for company. I know Shep would love being here with her."

Jensen said, "It's funny I have competition with a 3 year old," and laughs.

Jared said, "I think it's cute. I've never seen Shep do that with anyone other than family."

Misha said, "you're son is wise beyond his years Jared. He saw what took us all those phone calls to see. He saw it as soon as he looking at her at how special Y/N is."

"You're right Misha she is special," Jensen said, as he stroked my hair.

"She, is that Misha, she is that," Jared said.

They turned on the TV on low volume as sat quietly watching as I slept. I stirred a few hours later and felt comfortable and warm. I felt Jensen's hand rubbing my hair as I hummed in satisfaction.

Jensen said, "Hey, baby!"

I smiled and said, "How long was I asleep for?"

Jared said, "A few hours listening to that horrifying snore of yours."

"I don't snore Jared, do I Jensen?"

"Will, baby I didn't really want to tell you."

I hit Jensen as they laughed at me.

"You hungry we didn't get to have lunch......" and stopped himself. 

He saw the sad look on my face as I looked at my wrist.

"Hey, it's not your fault. I'm sorry I shouldn't brought it up. It's going to get better?"

"I'm sorry I didn't know I had cut myself Jensen, I didn't mean too."

"I know we all do," as he looked at Jared and Misha.

Jared said, "How about I call for pizza and we can watch a DVD."

I smiled a sad smile as I nodded my head as tears welled in my eyes.

Jensen said, "Baby, we need to talk about tomorrow?'

"Why?"

"We go back to work and I don't want to drag you into work. So we were thinking maybe Gen and the boys could come and keep you coming for awhile."

"I don't want you to leave me Jensen, but I know you've all taken so much time off already because of me. I would love Gen and the boys to come over."

Jensen let out the breath he had been holding in relief.

"I will call you every chance, I get alright and Jared and Misha will too."

Misha said "We will too minion."

I smiled and said, "Thanks Overlord." Misha always got me to smile no matter what was happening.

Jared said "Hey promise us that when it gets tough, you will always keep fighting, ok?"

I shook my head as the tears slipped down my face. Jared gave me a hug and kissed my forehead. I don't know what I did to deserve these angels, in my life but I'm glad they found me.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Jensen see the psychiatrist for the first time. Jensen hears what she has been through and finds it hard to deal with. Can he manage his feels or will he push her away? Or will it bring them closer together?
> 
> Update again soon.
> 
> Thank you for all your comments and kudos much appreciated.
> 
> Check out my new story The Secret.


	10. Home (The One where Jensen's Screw's Up)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader and Jensen goes for her first appointment with the psychiatrist. Dean hears a lot of things and he has second doubts about staying with me. Will he stay or will he leave? Donna also finds out about the the reader cutting her wrist. Will she support her or will she make her leave?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to be pretty heavy as the Reader tells the psychiatrist what happened to her and Jensen questions if he could continue to support me? Plus Shep and Tom are adorable as they comfort the Reader.
> 
> Graphic description of violence, injury and suicide attempt by in this chapter. Plus explicit coarse language. Heartbreak and Angst as well. Sorry this is a very long chapter as I wanted to get it all down into one chapter. Please do not read if this can cause any harm or triggers anything. You are important and this is just a story. AKF
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes my own.
> 
> Comments are appreciated thank you.

The next morning Jensen called the clinic to make an appointment for me. 

He came in and said, " We got an appointment for tomorrow as they had a cancellation."

"Jensen are you going to come with me?" I pleaded with him. 

"Sure, I am, I wouldn't let you go on you're own Y/N."

"Can you get time off work Jensen?"

"Yeah, I will get them to do my scenes today that why I can be with you. Don't worry I will be here for you." As he came over and hugged and kissed me. 

There was a knock on his door as he opened it, Jared, Gen and the boys were standing there. Shep pushed passed Jensen to find me. He found me in the lounge room on the lounge. He saw me and ran up and gave me a hug. Tom, Jared and Gen walked in a slower pace. 

Gen said, "He wanted to come over like as soon as he was out of his bed. We dropped Odette at Jared's Mum's house she wanted to spend sometime with her granddaughter."

I said, "Ok, I'm going to miss her. Good morning Shep."

He looked at me and giggled before saying "Good morn'n."

Then I said, "Good morning to Jared, Gen and Tom."

They all replied with a Good morning as Tom, Jared and Gen all hugged me.

Jensen said, " Your not going to ditch me for Shep are you Baby?" with a fake pout on his face.

I laughed and I said, "Seems that way. How could I not look at that adorable face."

He bent down and whispered "He can have for today but I get you tonight." As he kissed me deeply and I blushed.

Jared said, "We better go or we will be late" as they heard Clif honk the horn for them.

Jared kissed Gen and said, "He would call later."

Jensen said, "You will be alright Baby, with Gen and the boys?" A bit hesitant to leave me for the first time since arriving in Canada. 

I said, "I will be fine really. You go have a good day. I love you Jensen."

"Ok, I love you too Baby," as he kisses me on the lips. "I will call later to see how your doing."

I shook my head and they left after he kissed me one more time. 

Gen laughed and said, "He really loves you Y/N."

I looked at her and said,"Yeah I know but I don't know so much after tomorrow. "

"What's tomorrow?" 

"I have my first appointment with the psychiatrist."

"You have told him what happened to you haven't you?"

"Yeah, but this will be in more detail Gen. What if he can't handle what happen to me and doesn't want me Gen. I couldn't bare losing him, not now." As a tear slipped down my face. 

Shep saw the tear and came over and climbed onto my lap and gave me a hug. He hugged me around the neck with his little arms. 

He said, "Its ok, Unca Jensen will make it better, he loves you like I do."

Gen smiled at her son. She said, "Shep's right you know Jensen loves you and wouldn't turn his back on you not now."

Shep only just noticed the bandage asked "What happened to your arm Y/N?"

I had forgot about my arm I was going to hide it under a jumper but the house was too warm. 

I said, "I accidentally cut myself and needed stitches."

He looked down and asks "does it hurt?"

"A little bit sweetheart."

So he gently lifted my arm and kissed the bandage and said, "It will feel better now, Mummy and Daddy always kisses our hurts to make them feel better."

I had another tear slip down my face as Tom hugged me too. He said, " It will get better Y/N."

"Thank you both for your kisses and hugs it has helped a lot." Shep decided he didn't want to leave me just yet so he sat on my lap for awhile as Gen set up a game for them to play. 

He looked at me and said, " Your pretty like Mummy, Y/N."

I said, "Your handsome like your Daddy, Shep." His smile was so bright it warmed my heart. 

Gen told him to hop down and play with Tom. So he climbed down after given me another quick hug and kiss. 

I said, "I think Jensen has some serious competition there."

We both laughed then when there was a knock on the door. Gen got up to answer it and Donna was standing on the other side. 

Donna looked at Gen wondering why she was at Jensen's. Gen looked agitated and was trying to look into the house.

Donna said, "Hi, Gen what are you doing here?"

Gen smiled and said, "The boys wanted to see Y/N."

"Oh, can I come in Gen?"

"I don't know, I don't think Y/N should be overwhelmed with people at the moment Donna."

Donna looked suspicious and asked "Gen what's going on? Is Y/N alright? Let me in now Gen or I will call Jensen."

Gen said, " I'm sorry Donna I can't not unless Y/N says it's ok."

"Why wouldn't it be ok for me to visit her?"

I heard the noise and went to see what was going on. I said, "Ok, Gen she's going to find out sooner or later."

"Find out what, What's the hell going on here I want to know now Gen, Y/N?"

Gen opened the door I was standing there on my crutches. It took Donna a moment to realised my wrist was bandaged. Gen came over and lead me back to the lounge as Donna followed.

She looked at me and I said, "Don't worry Donna, I will leave Jensen and never come back." With tears flowing unbidden down my face. Shep and Tom both saw me crying and came over to hug me.

Donna said, "What happened to your wrist Y/N?"

"I don't know, all I remember is making lunch yesterday and I was starting to cut tomato and next thing I knew I was in Jensen's arms and Misha holding my arm. I know what your going to say, I'm nothing but trouble for Jensen and I should leave and let him live his life."

As I was full on crying Shep tighten his hug and whispered "It's ok Y/N, Unca Jensen won't let you leave him he loves you."

Donna came over to me with a sad face and said, "Do you think that bad of me Y/N?"

I wiped the tears as Shep sat on my lap and I said, "I would if it was my son."

"Oh, Y/N my son loves you and I know how much. I love you too and I would never send you away, the only person who could do that would be Jensen or yourself." 

"Really Donna you love me?"

"Of course, is it so hard to believe. The way Jensen talks about you. I felt I already knew you before you arrived." She got up and gave me a hug as Shep moved out of the way. "Don't ever think I would not support you too if you needed it. Your family now and family sticks together."

Gen said, "Y/N, we love you too and Jared has told me he would always be there for you to support you. I know I will as well and Shep adores you and I know he would be upset if you were to leave him."

I looked down at Shep and he smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek. He was so precious and had a child innocence it was incredible how much love a child could give you unconditional. I knew I love him too. 

Donna said, "So you went to the hospital and got fixed up."

"Yes and they ask if I wanted to see a psychiatrist."

"Want did you say?'

"I see her tomorrow she thinks I might have Post Trauma Stress Disorder."

"Do you need Gen or myself to go with you?"

"Thank you for the offer but Jensen is getting time off work to go with me."

"Ok, let me know if I can do anything for you alright."

Then the phone rang Donna said, "I'll get it."

She picked it up and said, "Donna speaking"

The voice said, "Mum what are you doing there?"

"I'm visiting Y/N."

"Is she alright Mum. She was scared of how you would react to her hurting herself?"

"She's fine Jensen. We had a talk and it's all sorted."

"You didn't kick her out did you Mum?"

"Dear God, Jensen why would I do that. You don't think I can understand what's happening to her."

"I did but Y/N was scare you wouldn't."

"Here I will give the phone to her and you can find out for yourself."

I looked up and questioned who it was. Donna said, "Its my son" with a sigh.

"Hello Jensen."

"You alright Baby?"

"Yes, Jensen I'm fine, Donna was very understanding as you said she would be."

"That's a relief. How's your day going Baby?"

"Good actually now that Donna knows."

"Look I have to go. I love you Baby."

"I love you too."

"Be home later. Bye Y/N."

"Bye Jensen."

My day went pretty quickly after Jensen's call as he called every few hours and Jared called a few times as well. Donna stayed the day with Gen, the boys and myself. We all got to know each other better. They were very careful not to ask anything what happened in the past. But only mention the week I had spent with Jensen, Jared and Misha. I presumed Jared and Jensen had told them anyway.

Jensen and Jared arrived just after dark and the boys we're hungry so Donna made them a sandwich to eat. 

Jensen kissed me when he entered the house and said, "How was your day Baby?" As Jared kissed Gen and his boys and them me. 

I smiled and said, "Good and I had fun." Jensen kissed Gen and his Mum and the boys jumped into his arms for a hug. 

Gen smiled and said, "Looks like the boys have finished their dinner and are getting tired. We have to go get Odette.Y/N do you want me to come sit with you until your appointment tomorrow?"

I said, "Jensen what time is it?"

He smiled and said, "9am so I will stay home with her and go to work after."

Gen said, "Ok, just call and I will come over after."

I hugged and said, "Thank you Gen for today."

She smiled and said, "Anytime Y/N."

Jared said, "It's time to go Tom and Shep. We need to go get Sissy."

Shep was looking at me and I smiled and said, "Thank you Shep for the hugs and kisses today it made me feel better."

He beamed a huge smile and ran into my arms and said, "I love you."

I kissed his cheek and said, "I love you too sweetheart."

Tom gave me a hug and a kiss too and a smile. Gen said, "Ok let's get moving." As both her and Jared hugged me and said, "Goodbye." As they left Shep ran back and gave me another hug. Then he turned back to his family. 

Donna said, "I better go to Jensen's father will be hungry and want his dinner."

I smiled and said, "Thank you for today Donna."

She waved me offf and said, "Remmeber I will be here if you need anything and don't be afraid to tell me anything also. I am a very understanding woman. I love you both."

I hugged her and she smiled and as she turned to hug Jensen. He whispered, "Thanks Mum, you're awesome."

She laughed and said, "You bet your ass I am. Good night Y/N, Jensen."

We both said, "Godnight" and she left.

Jensen came over and hugged me tight and said, "Are you really alright Baby?"

I smiled and said, "A little emotionally tired but yes I'm fine. It's been a long day and I would like to eat something and go to bed if that's alright."

He said, "Sure, what would you like for dinner?"

"Anything I don't mind. I might go and take a bath first."

He scooped me up into his arms and carry me upstairs to my bathroom. He turn the taps on and helped me undress as he decided he was going to have one with me. So he undressed to and climbed in the bath after he helped me into it. It was soothing and I relaxed against his chest. 

I said, "Jensen."

He whispered in my ear, "what's wrong Baby?"

"I'm worried about tomorrow?"

"With the appointment with Daneila."

"Yes, I'm going to be telling her some horrible things are you going to be alright with it?"

"Hey" as he turned me to face him, "I promise I would be there for you." 

"I know but I'm worried you might not like what I'm going to say. It's very traumatic and distressing. I don't want to hurt you Jensen."

"I will be ok, you have already told me some of it and I was fine then."

"I know but this is the whole picture of what happened to me."

"If it gets too bad I will take a few minutes. Don't worry Y/N I promised I would support you so that's what I would do. I love you Baby very much. "

I turned back and lend back as he twine his fingers with mine. Then he put my hand out of the water and kissed it. It was soft and his lips were cold against my warm hand. We stayed there a bit longer and I was feeling really tired so I dried off and went to bed. Jensen went down and made us a sandwich to eat but I was asleep went he returned. So he ate them both and then climbed in next to me and wrapped me in his arms.

We were sound asleep when I started whimpering in my sleep and I must have lashed out hitting Jensen as I screamed "please don't leave me Jensen please."

Jensen heard my scream and woke up as he gently shook me awake. "It's ok, I'm not going anywhere" as I had tears flowing down my face as he soothed me back to sleep. He kissed my lips as I kissed him back.

I settled back to sleep as Jensen held me tighter to keep the nightmares at bay. We woke the next morning Jensen could feel my appreciation and discomfort about the appointment. So he didn't talk about it he just kissed me good morning and made breakfast I was quiet so he didn't push me to talk. I didn't eat much breakfast as I was worrying about the appointment. 

We headed out to the hospital as we made our way to the clinic. I gave my name as was told to wait as the doctor was with another patient. It was only about 10 minute wait as Jensen held my hand and gave me a reassuring smile to let me know it was going to be alright. 

Daniela came out to get us as we followed her to her room. It was a nice room with a calming view of the garden outside. She told us to sit so we did. 

She sat in the other chair and said, "So, how are you Y/N?"

I said, "Fine I'm a little nervous" as I looked at Dean.

She said, "Nothing to be nervous about. First of all are the tablets helping with the anxiety and nightmares?"

"I haven't had an anxiety attack and I don't think I've had any nightmares."

Dean said, "She had a nightmare last night she was worried I was going to leave her."

"What did you do Dean to calm her down."

"I rubbed her arms and shoulders as I soothe her and said, "It's ok, I'm not going anywhere."

"Did it work?"

"Yes, Y/N settled back into sleep. That's probably why she doesn't remember it."

I said, "Why didn't you tell me this morning Jensen?"

"It's ok you were fine and when back to sleep so I didn't it think it was necessary."

"So Y/N is there anything you wish to talk about today which is upsetting you the most?"

"I seem to lose time and I'm not always there. It's like I would be doing something and when I come around I'm sitting in a corner of my home with a bottle of tablets in my hand. I don't remember getting them or even how they got there. I feel like I'm losing my mind."

"Ok, So let's explore this shall we. Do you mind if I get you to lie down on the couch. Jensen can you please sit in the chair." Jensen got up to move and I lied down on the couch. 

"Alright now I want you to take some deep breaths for me. In.....out, In......out, that's it keep going I want you to listen to my voice ok. I will count down from 5 when I get to 1 you will be totally relaxed alright."

"Yes, ok." 

"God 5 just deep breaths, 4 your eyelids are feeling heavy, 3 you are relaxing your arms, wrists and hands, 2 now relax your whole body that's it. 1 you are totally relax now, now I want you to picture a TV where you have hold of the remote."

"Yes."

"Now you will see your life flash in the TV but remember you can't be hurt your just watching. Nothing can hurt you."

"Yes, ok."

"Turn on the TV and what do you see?"

"I'm just turned four and my Mum made me a cake for my birthday it is so pretty. Dad has just come home and he isn't looking good. His limping and got his arm bandaged. He hurt himself at work and him and Mum are fighting. I whimpered as I said, "Please Mummy, Daddy don't yell."  I cowered down into a corner and tried to hide myself. They looked at each other with so much hatred. 

Then it flipped to another scene. I was 8 and it was my first suicide attempt. I was crying now as Daniela said, "you're safe you not there you're watching it on the screen. Tell me what you see Y/N?"

"I'm 8 and in the kitchen making dinner for us. I was making spaghetti on toast. My father has just come in and saw the spaghetti and he's angry at me. He throws the saucepan as I duck down. He looked at me as if I'm a stranger to him and he hits me in the stomach as I double over in pain. I fall to the floor where he lifts my tiny body off the floor. My voice cracked as I tried to get the words out. 

Jensen is crying softly to himself as he listens. "He throws me against the wall I hear a rib crack. I'm in so much pain. He drags me back to the middle of the kitchen as he hits me in the face and spilts the skin above my eye. "Please Daddy don't hit me, please I will be a good girl." As I put my hand up to shield my face from the imaginary punches. I was whimpering more. 

Daniela said, "Y/N listen to me, can you hear me, your safe your here with me and Jensen in my office. It can not hurt you."

I screamed as he hit me again and again. Then I turned into myself forgetting about my knee. As I dragged my beaten broken body to the kitchen sink and grabbed a knife. 

Daniela asked, " What's happening now Y/N?"

"He's left me beat and broken on the kitchen floor. I dragged my body to get a knife and now I'm dragged my useless worthless body to my room. I'm in so much pain it hurts to breath. I have the knife in my hand. I just want the pain to stop as I cut my wrist I watched the blood flowing from it as I cut my other wrist and I rub them both in the office. Jensen noticed and couldn't take it.  I'm lying their as the blood flows freely from both my wrists."

"What are you feeling now Y/N?" As Daniela looks at Jensen who was very pale and she motions for him to leave. He shook his head and walks out quietly. 

"I feel peace and no pain. I feel a little lightheaded and disorientated but most of all contentment. Then my Mum burst through the door and she looks at me. She stood there for what seems like an eternity before she came over. She got me up  I felt lightheaded and nauseous as she ripped up my sheets and made me put them around my wrists as she tied them almost painful tight. Then she was calling me all these names. I was crying and whimpering and cowering. Then she hit me and knocked me out. 

Daniela said, "Ok, Y/N I want you to remember that memory but remember it can't hurt you anymore. You can let go of it. It has no hold on you any longer ok. I going to bring you out of it now 5... just breath, 4....deep breaths, 3......relax your arms and legs as Daniela sees the tension leave my body. 2.......you doing good keep breathing. 1.... you should be relaxed now, open your eyes for me."

I open my eyes as I noticed Jensen wasn't sitting there I turned my head as the tears fell down my face.

Daniela said, "How are you feeling?"

I turned and she saw the tears and I said, "Better about the memory. But upset where's Jensen?"

"He left he couldn't take listening to how much abuse and pain you've been through."

"He's going to leave me I knew this would happen. I thought he understood me but I was wrong no one would ever love me I'm damaged goods."

Daniela came over and sat next to me as I curled my legs up under my chin not caring about my knee. 

She said, "Give him time Y/N he just listen to you being abused by the people who were suppose to protect your and keep you safe. He has to adjust to how he feels. Just give him some time he will come around he loves you he will."

"I'm not sure he will."

"You did good today, shall set up a new time"

"Yes thanks Daniela."

She looked through her appointment book as I wiped the tears from my tear streaked face. I hobbled out on my crutches and Jensen wasn't in the waiting room. So I walked outside and he wasn't there either. I looked for his car but it was gone. I had no way of getting home. I called Gen to come get me. 

I waited as I felt my heart shattered and break even more. She arrived and saw me on the sidewalk crying and broken. She pulled up and got out and hugged me. Jensen was watching out of sight just to make sure I was alright. Gen helped me into the car and we took off. Jensen knew he did a dumb thing but he is hurting and trying to work out how to work through this. It was bigger than he first thought. He needed someone to talk too so he headed to the one person who would understand.

Gen didn't say much as I looked at the window twirling Jensen's promise ring around my finger. We arrived at Gen's house as the boys were at school today so it was just us. She helped me in and I sat on the lounge. 

I looked at her and burst into tears. She held me as she waited for them to stop. I said, "He left me and doesn't want me I'm too damaged for him. He doesn't love me. This was a mistake I should have stayed in Australia."

"He loves you Y/N, I know he does."

I sniffled "Then why did he leave me?"

"I can't answer that only he can."

"He doesn't want me, maybe I should go back to Australia then he won't have to see me again."

Gen said, "No, you still have support here. You have us and Donna,  Misha's family."

"I can't stay as I will see him everyday Gen it will hurt to much. Please Gen can I just go pack a few things and leave before he gets home."

She looked sad and wasn't sure but if this is what I wanted she would help me. So we got in her car and drove to Jensen's his car wasn't there so we went upstairs and I packet a few things and grabbed my passport. 

Gen needed to do something and fast but what.

I wrote Jensen a letter telling him thank you for everything but I can't be here if you don't want me. This was a mistake. I love you. Bye Jensen.

Gen looked at me as the tears slipped down my face. I had put Jensen's shirt in my bag as a reminder of what we had as I took off my promise ring and sat it with the letter. As Gen and I left Jensen's house one final time. 

Jensen drove to the set to talk to Jared he found him in his trailer. He noticed the look of his friends face and knew it wasn't good.

"Hey, Jensen What's happening?"

"Hey, Jared." As he sat down and at first didn't answer him.

"Jensen, Y/N's alright isn't she?"

"I don't know I left her and Gen picked her up."

"What do you mean left her?"

"I couldn't take the pain Jared it was too much, it was killing me."

"So you left her, Jesus Fucking Christ Jensen, you knew this was going to be hard and you left her. "

"I know I'm ashamed of myself but I couldn't listen to her telling us she wanted to die. The pain she must have felt."

"Jensen tell me this, do you love her even though you heard more about her abuse."

"Yes even more now. God I never realised how alone she was. She must have had a terrible violent lonely life."

"Then why don't you go tell her that and work through this together. She probably thinks you don't want her Jensen."

"Oh, fuck what have I done?"

"Call Gen and see if Y/N is alright first?"

He shook his head as he pulled out his phone as it rang and rang. "She's not answering?"

Jared got out his phone and dial and it rang and rang finally Gen picked it up. "Hey, sweetheart just checking to see how Y/N's doing? Then he heard a airplane. "Gen is that an airplane I hear in the background?"

"Yes it is Y/N's leaving going back to Australia because she thinks Jensen doesn't want her. Jared she really isn't doing good she shattered and broken. I'm not sure she will go back to him, he left her when she needed him most. Her flight leaves in an hour." 

"What! You did tell her we all love her."

"Yes, but she couldn't bear to see the pain on Jensen's face as she thinks he thinks she's broken and damaged. She thinks coming here was a mistake Jared." 

"Ok, stall her we will be there as fast as we can."

"Jared she left her promise ring at Jensen's she didn't want to take it with her. It was too hard for her to keep and she cried when she took it off. She's been crying since I picked up Jared and I don't know what to do for her, it's breaking my heart to see her like this." 

"I will let Jensen know. I love you Gen. See you soon." He hung up the phone as he looks at Jensen.

Jensen said, "What about the airport Jared. It's Y/N isn't it she leaving me."

"What do expect you know she's in a fragile state. She trusted you to protect her and support her. She thinks you don't love her that's she too broken for you. She even left your promise ring at your house Jensen. How could you fucking do this to her Jensen."

"Jesus, we need to get it and get to the airport before the plane leaves." As they rush out and jumped into Jared's car and headed to Jensen's house.

He was thinking please don't let me be to late. I need you Baby. Please forgive me. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was kind of heavy chapter. It was hard to write as well. I hope you could feel her pain as well as Jensen's. Well Jensen make it in time or will he be too late? 
> 
> Thank you for your comments and kudos it's very much appreciated.


	11. Home (The One Where the Reader Leaves)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen tries to make amends for leaving the Reader when she needed him the most. The reader can not forgive him so she leaves to go back to Australia. Jensen stops her and she agrees to stay with Jared and Gen until she can trust Jensen again. Will she be able to trust him or is it too late? Can Jensen save their relationship or is he to late? She thinks she's broken and a shell of a human will she try to end the pain for good?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's what happening Jensen left the Reader and now she's leave to go back to Australia. Jensen gets there in time but can he save their relationship or is it too late.
> 
> Please be warned: mentions and thoughts of suicide in this chapter. Lots of Angst and heartbreak. Lots of tears. Reader had a panic attack. Reader has low self worth. 
> 
> Sorry this chapter is a little shorter the previous chapters. I think I'm going to take a few days before I write the next chapter. Please bear with me. These two chapters were very emotionally draining for me. 
> 
> Please do not read if this may cause any triggers. You are important and remember to AKF.
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own. Will eventually go back and correct them.
> 
> Please leave comment Always appreciated.

Gen drove to the airport as I twisted the necklace they had given me around my finger as I stared out the window. Gen kept check on me all the way there as the tears stilll fell down my face as I wiped them away. We arrived at the airport and I used the card Jensen had giving me when I wanted to buy anything. As I brought the ticket to go back to Australia. We had a while to wait so we sat down.

Gen's phone rang I knew it would be Jensen as I said,  "Gen don't answer if it Jensen, I don't want to talk to him please," with pleading heartbroken eyes. Gen saw my face and couldn't put me through anymore pain so she ignored it. 

Then Gen's phone rang again a few minutes later.

Gen said, "It's Jared."

"Please don't tell him where I am he will bring Jensen and I can't talk to Jensen. It's too hard."

Gen answered the phone and said, "Hi Jared." As she walks away from me. I didn't notice as I was watching the planes.

"Hey Sweetheart, just checking to see how Y/N's doing?" Then he heard the plane in the background. "Gen is that an airplane I hear in the background?"

"Yes, it is Y/N's leaving going back to Australia because she thinks Jensen doesn't want her. Jared she's really isn't doing good, she shattered and broken. I'm not sure she will go back to him, he left her when she needed him the most. Her flight leaves in an hour."

"What! You did tell her we all love her."

"Yes, but she couldn't bear to see the pain on Jensen's face as she thinks, he thinks she's broken and damaged. She thinks coming here was a misktake Jared."

"Ok, stall her we will be there as fast as we can."

"Jared she left her promise ring at Jensen's she didn't want to take it with her. It was too hard for her to keep it and she cried when she took it off. She's been crying since I picked her up Jared and I don't know what to do for her, it's breaking my heart to see her like this."

I will let Jensen know. I love you Gen. See you soon." As she hung up and sat down next to me. Holding my hand as I watched the planes.

 

Jensen and Jared are speeding on there way to the airport. Jared was doing way over the legal speed limit when they heard a siren behind them.

Jared said, "Fuck."

"What, Jared?"

"Cop on my tail wants me to pull over."

Jensen sighs as he checks his watch they had already been to Jensen's as he holds the ring in his hand and he clutches the letter he has read it numerous times since finding it. 

Jared pulls over as the cop comes up and said, "Sir, Licence and Registration please."  As he looks in the car and notices two men. Jared reaches for his Licence and Registration and passes it to the cop.

The cop said, "You know you were speeding in a 35km an hour zone Sir."

"Yes Officer."

"I'm going to have to write you a ticket Mr Padalseki."

"Yes, I know Officer and it's Padalecki. But we are in a hurry trying to get the airport before someone's leaves and doesn't something stupid when she gets back to Australia."

"What do you mean stupid Sir?"

Jensen said, "She's in a fragile mental state and we are worried she might hurt herself if she returns home. Please Officer her flight leaves in 30 minutes and we are not going to make it in time."

He looked at Jensen's and Jared's faces and saw the worry and anguish on them. Jensen had tears unshed in his eyes. So he made a decision to help they get there on time.

He said, "Ok, Mr Padalecki, I will give you a warning this time but watch your speed in the future."

"Yes, Sir" as he starts his car to pull away when the cop stops him.

"Follow me I will get you there faster."

Both Jared and Jensen looked at the Officer and shook there heads. As he pulls out with his siren going as Jared follows close behind him.

They arrived at the airport with 5 minutes to spare as they parked the car in the police car park with his bike. As they all ran into the airport looking for the flight they cleared the gates and was looking on the boards for the terminal.

As it got closer to board I could feel my anxiety building. I could feel my self on a verge of a panic attack. I took deep breaths as Gen was watching me closely. They called to board the flight when I went into full panic attack.

"Gen, I can't breath" as I was taking great gulps of air.

"Listen to me deep breath in and out. Come on follow me Y/N."

I couldn't focus as my eyes were glazed over and my breathing was coming in short pants. I couldn't hear anything around me as I was lost in my mind. I had my hands clench into fists and my jaw was shut tight it hurt. I couldn't think of what was happening around me. 

Then Jared saw Gen and they both came running with a police officer behind them. Jensen looked at me and said, "panic attack?"

Gen shook her head as Jared held her tight as she sobbed into his shoulder. 

Jensen kneed down in front of me and grabbed my hands, he put my ring in one. He said, "I'm sorry Baby, I shouldn't left you. Please come back to me." My breathing was becoming shallow as I was starting  to feel dizzy from the hyperventilating I was doing. He continue "Y/N, breath with me" as he put my hand on his chest to feel his chest rise and fall with each breath he took. "That's it in....out....in....out" as he touched my face. I knew that touched as my brain registered it's Jensen he's here. His tears falling freely down his face as I struggled to come back to him.

As he rubbed my cheek and I whispered "Jensen."

He said, "Yeah Baby, it's me."

My eyes focused on his glistening green ones as he kissed me lightly on the lips.

"Welcome back, Baby."

As I looked at my hand and felt the ring in it. I looked at it and gave back to Jensen as I held out his hand and placed it in there. He looked at me and I lowered my head I couldn't look at him. Jensen was devastated when I put his ring in his hand.

I whispered, "I can't do this Jensen, you hurt me when you left." As a tear slipped down my face. I thought they would be dried up by now but no they are still flowing. Jensen wiped my face and looked hurt for hurting me.

"I'm sorry Baby, I should've left you. Please come home so we can work this out?"

"I can't Jensen you broke my trust and I can't forgive you that's easily. You know how hard it was for me to let you into my life. You broke me Jensen when you wasn't there."

"I know and I deserve your anger but please stay don't go back to Australia where you will have no one?"

Jared looked at me and said, "Y/N, you can come stay with Gen, me and I know the boys and Odette will love having you around."

I said, "Ok, If I won't be a burden on you and Gen."

Gen came over and hugged me and said, "Never your more than welcome."

I said, "I will like to stay with you and Gen, Jared thank you."

Jensen sighed with relief at least I was staying in Canada and had support. He thought all the way over here what if it's too late. She goes back and commits suicide. He would never be able to live with himself if he had caused it. 

The cop was watching the scene unfold and said, "Well, you must be the little lady he was trying too, get to?"

I looked at the Police Officer and said, "Yes Sir I am."

"You know I pulled over Mr Padalecki for speeding. As they tried to get here before your plane left. He loves you little lady maybe you should give him another chance?"

I looked at the Police Officer then at Jensen and said, "Ok, but I can't be with you Jensen you need to earn my trust back."

He smiled and said, "Anyway I can I will."

Jensen turned to thank the Police Offcer as he said, "Goodbye and told Jared not to speed anymore."

Jared nodded as he shook his hand.

Jensen picked up my bag as we all headed out to the car. Jared was holding Gen with his arm wrapped around her waist. Jensen stood close to me but not to close. As we got into the car I climbed in the back with Jensen as Gen sat in front with Jared. 

I looked at Jensen as Jared drove Jensen back to his house. I got out to pack a bag to take to Gen and Jared's house. Gen helped me as I was finding it hard with my crutches. When the bag was packed I said, "Goodbye" to Jensen. He kissed me lightly on the lips. 

I turned and went to the car I saw the pain in Jensen's eyes as I hobbled away from him. It was killing me to leave him but I can't stay not now. Not until I feel I can trust him again. 

Jared said, "Give her some time Jensen she loves you."

Gen said, "She does, that's why this hurts her so much to leave you."

"I know I should have stayed and talked it through together now I fucked up and I have to make it right. She will forgive me and we will be together again."

I sat in the car as I looked at Jensen as he try to smile. I knew he was braking inside but I couldn't do anything about it. It was going to hurt me to walk away from Jensen. As Jared drove the car I looked at the window until Jensen was out of sight.

I felt numb and lost and unsure of my future as I headed to Gen and Jared place. I didn't know what my future held anymore it was always Jensen and I when I saw my future. But now it's me alone and my anxiety was starting to build, how was I going to be alright without Jensen. He was my rock, my security, my love and now I feel empty....hallow like there is nothing inside me except and empty shell. I have felt like this before and I tried to end the pain. 

Maybe it would best if I just slip into the night. No one needs me as a burden in their life. Jared and Gen don't need me upsetting their lives and Shep with his big heart so full of love doesn't need some one so broken and damaged to destroy his ability to love. No I'm no good for any of them. How could anyone want me I'm beyond repair. I'm worthless, an nobody, what was I thinking in trying to have a life with Jensen. He's too good for me, he could have some sexy model for his girlfriend instead he has me shattered into pieces. Just a burden for them all as the thoughts keep going around and around in my head. Maybe it would be easier??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped you like this chapter. I'm going to take a break for a few days on this story as I have been emotionally drained and need to recharge. Thank you for your understanding. I will post next chapter in near future. 
> 
> Thank you all for wonderful comments and kudos it really means a lot to me. 
> 
> Remember to AKF.


	12. Home (The One where Jensen tries to Make Up)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen tries to rebuild the trust between him and the Reader. Both are struggling without the other. Will they make up or will the Reader not be able to forgive him? The Reader is in a dark place, she's depressed, she feels empty and alone. Can she find a way out without hurting herself and Jensen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader and Jensen are both struggling without the each other.
> 
> Warnings: Reader contemplates suicide. Talk of suicide, Angst, heart ache, lots of tears, Readers in a very dark place. Very heavy in places. Jensen apologises. 
> 
> Please do not read this if it can cause any triggers. You are more important than this story. Remember to Always Keep Fighting!!
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own. I will eventually fix those mistakes. 
> 
> All Comments much appreciated.

Jared, Gen and myself arrived that their house as he jumps out and opens Gen's and my door. He helped me out and grabbed my crutches as I stood waiting for them. He gave them to me as he also grabbed my bag and we headed inside. We climbed the stairs and Gen and Jared took me to my room while I was staying there. I hobbled into my room and sat on my bed as Jared come over and gave me a quick hug. 

He said, "I better go check on Jensen, make sure he's alright."

I looked at Jared and said, "That would be good Jared, he needs someone too."

"Ok, then I will go?" as he gives Gen and me a quick kiss. "Will you be alright?" 

"Yeah, I'm tired I might just go to sleep for awhile."

Jared and Gen both nodded. Gen said, "Ok, I'll be downstairs if you need anything alright Y/N." 

I smiled a sad smile as Jared said, "I will see you after work. I will take Jensen back with me too."

I said, "See you then Jared."

They both left as they shut the door behind them. I got up and moved towards my bag as I opened it. I pulled out a bottle of pills I had there. As I sat down on the floor clutching them in my hand. I looked at them like they were strange and foreign to me. I open the lid as the tears fell down my face. 

 

Jared arrived back at Jensen's as he entered he called out. He looked in the lounge room and the kitchen. Jensen wasn't there so he went upstairs as he walks passed my door. Jensen is sitting on my bed just looking at the ring crying softly. As Jared walks in and said, "Hey buddy." 

Jensen looks up and Jared grabs him and hugs him tight as Jensen cries in Jared arms. He held his best friend as tight as he could as knew Jensen was in a lot of pain. Jensen stepped back after a few minutes and he wipes the tears from his eyes which were red and swollen. His voice was hoarse as he speaks.

He said, "Jared is Y/N alright?"

"To be honest, no Jensen she's not."

"At least she stayed here in Canada" as his voice soften.

"Yes, she did but she's hurting Jensen, you need to sort this out with her fast."

"I know but she doesn't trust me anymore Jared, how do I fix that?"

"Same way you got her to trust you in the first place."

"By being there and taking her on dates."

"It's a start Jensen, show her that you can handle her past. Talk to her about it, explain to her what you are feeing. She needs  to know you don't think she's broken or damaged Jensen."

"I've never told her she was broken or damaged. Jesus fucking Christ how could I do this to her. I wouldn't blame her if she never speaks to me again."

Jared smiled and Jensen saw and said, "What?"

"I told her I was coming here and said, "It was good as you need someone too." So I don't think she hates you Jensen she just hurting and unsure as you broke the one thing she thought she could count on you for."

"Yeah, and I fucked that up."

"Just give her some time and she will come around."

"I hope so Jared, its killing me she not being here where I can hold her and tell her how much I love her."

"I know it's killing her too Jensen. We need to get to work before we are out of a job."

 

I was looking at the pills inside the bottle. Yes it would be the easiest thing to do if, I took them all and ended all the pain. Then flashes of Gen, Donna, Jared, Misha flashed into my mind. Then it moved somewhere else and I saw Shep and Tom smiling and comforting me. I saw Jared and Misha happy that I was coming home with them. My mind settled on Jensen his first phone call, him smiling as he gave me my ring. The necklace around my neck as I twisted in my hand. When I first arrived in Canada, Misha's family, Gen letting me hold Odette as Jensen held us both, Jensen just holding me close the smell of him and the calming effect he has on me. I can't believe it's only been a short time since I arrived in Canada. 

I screamed as I threw the pills to the other side of the room. Gen came running in and saw me on the floor and looked to where my eyes were focused and saw the pills. 

"I couldn't Gen, I couldn't do it. I love you all to much to end it all. It hurts so bad it would have been so easy for me. But all I keep see was Jensen's grieving face. I couldn't do it to him or any of you. Gen please help me stop this pain." As the tears fell hitting my hand.

She came over and helped me up off the floor and sat me on the bed. She looked at me and gave me a hug. She said, "Y/N, the only way the pain will stop is you need to talk to Jensen and work this through together. That's why your hurting you need him Y/N he's become your anchor of sorts. "

"Anchor I don't understand?"

"I saw you at the airport, I tried to calm you but you couldn't hear me or even took any notice. When Jensen came you inextinctively knew it was him and he brought you back. That's a bond that is unbreakable and you need it in your life like he needs you. He has always been a loner he wouldn't date. He would only do things with us when Jared pushed him into it. When you came he was more open and he liked the idea of doing things with you. Your his anchor too Y/N. Will you talk to him please if not for me but for you."

I wiped the tears from my eyes and said, "Ok, Gen I will talk to him."

She smiled a huge smile of relief and said, "I will call Jared and get him to bring him over after work."

I shook my head and she said, "Rest for a little while Y/N. I will stay here until you fall asleep."

"Thank you Gen."

She "Pfftt" at me and said, "Not necessary."

I felt my eyelids getting heavy as I closed them and fell asleep. Gen had gone over and picked up the pills on the floor and took them with her as she left my room.

She went downstairs to call Jared. 

Jared answered on the third ring, "Hey sweetheart, Y/N's alright?"

"Jared I'm not sure how to say this?"

"What Gen, What are you trying to say?"

"Y/N was going to take some pills but she threw them across the room. I picked them up but she's in a very bad way Jared. She needs Jensen. So I talked to her and convinced her to talk to him. Can you bring him home after work Jared. 

"Where is she now Gen? You sure this is going to work?"

"She's asleep, she was exhausted and I hope so for both there sakes. How is he doing Jared?"

"Hurting like her. He's stuff his lines several times already and Bob is getting frustrated with him so he sent him to his trailer. I doubt we will get anything coherent out of him until this is sorted out. So they have postponed his scenes for a couple of days. They are working on Misha's at the moment."

"Does Misha know what happened with Y/N?"

"No, I haven't had a chance to tell him yet. I will when he finishes his scenes. I'm in one coming up soon and it should be the last for the day."

"So we will see you soon?"

"Yes, do you want me to pick the boys up on the way?"

"No, I ask Mum to do it and to keep the boys for the night. Don't need them to hear Jensen and Y/N shouting at each other it would upset them too much."

"Good idea. I love you Gen."

"Love you too."

They finished there scenes as Jared drove them to his home. Jensen was nervous like a school boy dating his very first crush. He knew he had to convince me to go home with him. He kept playing over in his mind what he wanted to say when he didn't hear Jared ask him a question.

"Um, What Jared?" He said. 

"I said, "Are you nervous about talking to Y/N Jensen?"

"No" Jared looked with eyebrows raised "Fuck yeah I'm terrified. What if she still doesn't want to move back with me Jared. It's killing me I can't concentrate and forgetting my lines. All I can think about is her and how much I fucked up. I need her to know how much I love her. But I'm not sure words are going to be enough."

"What do you have in mind Jensen?"

"Can we make a stop on the way home Jared please?"

"Ok, Jensen."

 

They made there stop and was headed to Jared house which didn't take long at all. Jared pulled up in the drive as both of them got out the car. Gen came out of the house and saw them both. She gave Jensen a hug as she pulled him inside. He looked but didn't see me.

He asked, "Where's Y/N?"

"Still asleep."

"Do you mind if I go up?"

"No, go ahead."

 As he walked up the stairs he took deep breaths as he walked into my room. Jensen has stayed here before so he knew where the spare room was. He just watched me sleep, I looked peaceful and content. I had a smile on my face as I murmured Jensen's name. He smile as he heard me and that I was dreaming about him. He took off his jeans, shirt and shoes and careful climbed into bed next to me. He wrapped his arms around me as I again murmured his name. He felt at peace with me in his arms. He kissed me lightly on the neck as I turned around and he kissed my lips. It was soft and sweet nothing to rushed or heated. I sighed into the kiss when he chuckled lightly. 

He said, "Baby you awake?"

"Mm Jensen." Then I realised I wasn't home in Jensen's arms I was at Gen's and Jared's as I opened my eyes and Jensen lying next to me. 

"Hey, Baby?"

"Jensen what are you doing in my bed?"

"You were murmuring my name so I thought I would climb in and cuddle with you."

"Jensen out, now" I shouted. 

Jared and Gen came running in to find Jensen in my bed. 

Jared said, "What the hell?"

He looked down when he said, "I had to hold her, she looked so peaceful and happy. I thought....."

I cut him off "You thought you would climb in and hope it would be alright. Right Jensen?"

He looked up and met my eyes as he said, "I'm sorry I fucked up again. Maybe it's best you don't come back. I'm a fucking screw up."

I saw the pain etched on his face as he eyes were slightly downcasted. I didn't want to see him like this so I said, "It's ok, Jensen."

He looked at the me with shock and said, "You sure."

I smiled a genuine smile and said, "Yes, I'm sure."

Jared said, "You ok, now Y/N?"

I shook my head yes as they both left. Jensen was sitting up in bed. When I moved up so we could look at each other. It was uncomfortable and awkward. He smiled at me as I smiled back. No one said anything for what seemed like an eternity. Jensen sighed heavily as I followed with one of my own.

He said, "I'm sorry Baby. I shouldn't have left you" in a whisper only they could hear. "It was just to much all in one go. With you being beaten by your father and mother. Then you try to...." he paused on the words.

I looked and said, "Say it Jensen, I try to commit suicide."

"Then you try to" as he found the strength to say the words out loud. "Commit suicide Baby. I couldn't deal with it, it was killing me inside to know you were so alone and beaten and broken. I had to get out and sort out my feelings."

"You know it wasn't easy for me to relive that memory Jensen. I needed you and you weren't there for me. You hurt me Jensen. I stood there not knowing what to do. I was lost and alone for the first time since I arrived in this country. You don't understand how hard things for me is sometimes Jensen. I could be doing something perfectly normal and then I'm sitting in a corner with a bottle of pills or a knife in my hand ready to hurt  myself. I feel like I'm losing my fucking mind. Your the only sane think in my life Jensen. Gen thinks your my anchor as you always bring me back from an attack."

He smiled as he has felt that connection between them since they first met. It's like we were soul mates. 

He said, "I know I feel it too Baby. It's incredible but can also be heartbreaking as well."

"I don't want to feel like this Jensen. I wanted to get better. But I'm afraid I can't do that unless I have your full support and I can fully trust you again."

He got up out of the bed and headed for his clothes on the floor. He pulled out a box and said, "I'm hope this will help you to remember what's important."

He pass me the box and I opened it. Sitting inside was a plain silver bracelet. I took it out and saw the inscription on it. In beautiful writing it had on it Always Keep Fighting. I looked inside and I saw our inscription Tia Amo forever inside it. He looks at me waiting for an answer. 

"I can't take this Jensen, I can't."

"Why? It's a gift." 

"It's too much."

"I want you too remember how much I love you. I know it will take awhile for you too trust me again but I want this to be the first step back to winning your trust. Will you let it be Y/N."

I looked at it and it was beautiful and I said, "OK, Jensen. There's something I need to tell you?"

"What, Baby?"

"I was hurting really bad Jensen, I felt lost, empty and alone so I was going to commit suicide. I was going to take some pills Jensen to end the pain I was feeling."

"Fuck, it's my fault. I pushed you to this. God Baby I so sorry" as a tears slipped down his eyes. "What stopped you?"

"You and what I have here with everyone I couldn't do it. I love you all too much to cause you any pain."

"I'm glad Baby. I'm sorry I put you through all this. I promise I will talk with you about everything alright Baby."

"Ok, full honesty and no more leaving me Jensen."

"I promise. Will you come home with me Y/N? Please?" He looked at me pleading with glistening eyes. 

"Ok, Jensen I will but you still got to earn my trust back." He took the bracelet and slipped it on my arm. He smiles as he kisses me slowly and then he deepens the kiss. I was whimpering into the kiss and he growled. I know I loved him and we would get through this together.

He pulled away and looked me in the eyes and I wiped his.

He said, "I love you Y/N."

"I love you too Jensen."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know but the Reader needed Jensen and Jensen needs the Reader. 
> 
> So Jensen still needs to earn her trust so what do you think a date or another therapy session with Daniela? Let me know how you think he could win her trust back?
> 
> Thank you for all your comments they are very much appreciated and thank you for your kudos too. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter post again soon. 
> 
> Remember AKF!!!


	13. Not sure if I will continue writing.

Authors note:

Not sure if I will continue to write finding it all too hard at the moment. In between being sick and people being nasty. Im just not really up to it at the moment. I'm just very tired. 

I am sorry if I have disappointed any of you as it was not my intention. I thank you all who have given me lovely comments and I do appreciate them. I just exhausted mentally and physically at the moment. I just need a break from all writing for awhile.

Please forgive me.

Secretfurrydragon.

I will look into again in a week or two but at this stage I'm not sure?

 

 

Hi Everyone,

 

I just like to thank you all for your very kind messages, thoughts and support it was very much appreciated and needed. Just letting you all know I am feeling a lot better and have written an new Chapter for When Dreams and The Secret.

So I will post them as soon as I can. 

 

Will post soon.

secretfurrydragon.


	14. Home (The One where Jensen opens up)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen finally opens up why he is a loner and never really dated anyone and why Jared pushes him into going out with them. The Reader also comforts Jensen as he tells her. They make each other a promise to always be there for each other no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jensen finally opens up to the Reader and we see why he doesn't date or likes going out. They come to an understanding but he still needs to win her trust back.
> 
> Warnings: Jensen talks about past and death of a friend, sadness. Loneliness, talks about Readers suicide attempt. Jensen has a nightmare where the Reader kills herself. 
> 
> Please do not read if this chapter will cause any triggers. You are more important than my story so please read the warnings first. Remember AKF. 
> 
> Comments appreciated.  
> Thank you for reading my story.

Jensen got up and put his clothes back on. He looked at me and smiled. 

He said, "You ready to come home Baby?"

I said, "Sure I'm ready, but we have to talk to Gen and Jared first. "

He nodded and helped me out of bed and got my crutches as he finished putting on his clothes. 

We headed down stairs where Gen and Jared were talking quietly. They heard us coming as my crutches were making a noise on the wooden floors. 

They both turned when they saw us enter. Gen smiled at me and Jared came over to give me a hug. 

I said, "I'm sorry for causing this much trouble." As I held my head downcast and Jared lifted my chin and looked into my eyes. 

He said, "Hey, are you ok? Gen told me about the pills?" 

A tear slipped down my face and I said, "Better now. I'm sorry I was just feeling to much and I couldn't handle the pain. Then I thought about all of you and how much you all mean to me. I couldn't bring that much grief into your lives. So I threw them away and I feel stronger for doing it." 

Jared hugged me tight and said, "That's really good that you are feeling stronger Princess." 

Gen said, "So what's happening now?" As she noticed Jensen had my bag. 

"I'm going home with Jensen we need to talk this all out."

Gen said, "Ok, are you sure?" I shook my head yes. "If you need me just call."

"I will thanks for everything Gen. For being here with me and giving me support. I love you both."

Gen hugged me and said, "We love you both too."

Jared said, "Remember to Always Keep Fighting Y/N and you will get stronger everyday." As he held me tight again. I always felt comfort in his strong arms, as he's like a brother too me and I loved him like one. 

I smiled and Jensen came over and held me. 

Jared said, "Jensen you do that to her again and I will kick your ass, you got that!"

Jensen said, "I know I will let you kick my ass. But we have a lot of talking to do and I promised her we will talk everything through and no more running off on each other."

Gen said, "I'm glad you are going to talk this through and work it out. It was upsetting to see you both hurting and there was nothing I could do to help."

"I'm sorry I put you though this Gen can you please forgive me?"

"Of course I can you're the one I was worried about. I'm fine." As Jared moves over to hug her tight and kiss her head.

Jensen said, "Ready to go Baby?"

Jared said, "I'll drive you both."

I said, "We can get a cab?"

Gen said, "Nonesense Jared can drive you both and I will come for a ride too."

"Ok, thank you both for eveything. I love you both very much."

Jared said, "I know you do. Ok ready to go." 

I shook my head and we went out to Jared's car as Jensen put my bag in the back as Jared helped me into it. 

Jensen climbed in next to me and held my hand as Gen sat in front with Jared. I felt content being with them and for the first time I feel like someone really cares about me.

It was a short ride to Jensen's from Jared's house so we were only in the car for like ten minutes. Jared pulled up out front of our home. Jared climbed out and helped me as Jensen grabbed my bag. I hugged Gen again and whispered "I love you Gen."

She smiled and whispered back "I love you."

Jared hugged me in a bear hug and said, "You going to be alright?"

I smiled and said, "Yes I will be fine. Thanks for asking Jared."

He raised an eyebrow and said, "You sure. I could kick his ass for you."

I looked at Jared considering it for a moment when we both laughed. I said, "No it's fine really. I got this covered. Promise I will be alright."

He nodded as he grabbed Gen and helped her into the car.

Gen said, "Bye Y/N, Jensen."

We said, "Bye."

Jared looked at Jensen and said, "Remeber Ackles I will kick your ass next time. She deserves better."

Jensen rolled his eyes and said, "I know Padalecki she does."

Jared tension left his body as he looked at me. He smiled and said, "Bye Princess, Ackles."

I laughed and said, "Bye Jared."

Jensen said, "Get out of here Padalecki. Talk tomorrow."

Jared started the car up and took off as we waved goodbye. Jensen carried my bag into the house and asked if I wanted anything.

I said, "No, I might go to bed."

He said, "Alright do you need help with the stairs?"

"No I'm fine see you in the morning Jensen." As I turned away from him he grabbed my arm gently to stop me. I turned to look at him and he had such sadness in his eyes. He smiled but it didn't quiet reach his eyes as he moved around me to give me a kiss good night.

I lean into him slightly as he kissed me. It was a soft kiss and wasn't rushed but I could feel all the hurt in the one kiss as he was a little hesitant. It was like our first kiss I was the shy one but now he is. 

I pulled away and smiled and I said, "Night Jensen we will talk tomorrow."

He said, "Good night Baby."

I hobbled upstairs and went into my room where I pulled my door closed. I sat on the bed when Jensen knocked on the door. 

I said, "Come in."

He opened the door and said, "I forgot to bring this up for you." It was my bag that have my PJ's in it. 

"Thank you Jensen." As he puts it down on the bed as he turns to look at me and gives me a sad smile and then leaves. 

I open the bag and pulls out his shirt I've had since they took me to the hospital. It was my favourite shirt I always wore it to bed. As I still imagine it smelt like Jensen. 

I got undressed and put the shirt on with a pair of long pants and climbed into bed. I pulled the pillow from where Jensen normally slept so I can smell him. Let the tears started to fall as I felt so alone. 

Jensen walked to his room dragging his feet and he felt so alone too. He opened his door and looked at his room like it was a stranger to him even though he has slept in this room for a long time. He stripped out his jeans and shirt and climbs into bed in his boxers and t-shirt. The sheets are so cold and empty as he moves to his side of the bed forgetting that I'm not sleeping in his bed. 

He sighs a deep breath as he whispers to the darkness, "night Baby. I love you."

I wipe my eyes as I turn and miss seeing Jensen next me as I whisper into the dark, "night Jensen. I love you." Then I close my eyes and fell into a fitful sleep.

Jensen has also fallen asleep and was dreaming about the first time we meet. How he wasn't sure what they were going to find whenthey opened the door. But instead of finding me alive his mind saw me lying in the water in a pool of blood. 

He was calling out "no Y/N please don't be dead. Baby please wake up." Everything was going in slow motion as he felt like he was running for an eternity to get to me. He screamed no so loud it startled me awake. I grabbed a crutch and hobbled to Jensen's room. I knocked gently on the door but heard "please be alive I love you Y/N." Then he started to whimper and cry in his sleep. I opened the door and Jensen was tangled up in his sheets and pulling on them. 

I wondered if this is what I looked like each time I had a nightmare as I made my way over to Jensen's bed. I sat down and gently tapped his arm but got no response.

I said, "Jensen wake up, I'm here I'm safe." Still no response so I bent my head and kissed him lightly on the lips. He seemed to register the kiss as he stopped thrashing and went still.

He opened his eyes and they were all glistening with tears and his voice broken as he shot up and hugged me so tight I couldn't breath. "Jensen can't breath," I tried to get out.

He said, "Y/N, What happened?"

I said, "You were having a nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?"

He looked at me with a look of pure relieve that I was alive that he kissed me again to make sure. 

I pulled back and wiped the tears that fell down his face when he gently grabbed my hand and kissed it. 

He said, "Here," as he grabbed my hand and guided me to his sit at the top of his bed. We sat up and I waited patiently for him to start. He looked devastated and lost. 

"Jensen we don't have to talk about this if you don't want too?" He still held my hand as he started to tell me his story. 

He looked at me and said, "No I need you to know. You see when I was in my teens I fell in love she was pretty and she was smart and gorgeous. She was my first in everything, her name was Jo, she was my first kiss, we have sex for the first time. You know she was my best friend as well as my lover. So she went out with her parents they were going to the lake and they asked me to go but Dad made me stay home to help him with chores. I remember the day it was hot and the sun glare down mocking me for not being with her. Anyway they were coming home from lake and their car was hit head on by a truck. Her parents were killed instantly. She was thrown from the car and was in critical condition, she live for three days. She opened her eyes and looked at me and smiled.

She said, "I love you Jensen." Then the machines beeped and she died. They told us she had a blood embolism and it went to her heart. That day I lost everything I swore I would never love someone like that again. I retreated into a shell, I became quiet and shy around other people. I just didn't want to be around people or get to close in case it happened again. I couldn't bare to lose someone else I loved. I still am shy around people today. I'm better now with the help of singing at cons in front of everyone. But I still have times lwhere I just wanted to be alone."

"So that's why you don't really date or like going out with Jared and Gen?"

"They try to set me up and Jared and Gen doesn't know any of this. I haven't told anyone including my family how I feel. Your the first person I have ever told this too." 

"Gen said, "You were a loner and Jared has to push you to go out. So why now with me? Why be with me Jensen?"

"I saw your face and it was like a light switched on. It was always you, I was suppose to be with. I don't know how or why, its just when I'm with you we fit together like puzzle pieces. I don't fit like that with anyone else. Like Gen said, "We are each other's anchors and I know you feel it too the first time you saw me. Didn't you a connection we can't explain. It there but when we are apart we feel terrrible like it's been broken. When we are together again we are whole again."

"Yes I feel it too Jensen. I didn't feel it with Jared or Misha I love them but it's not the same way I love you."

"So I was dreaming you in the bath and you had cut your wrist and bled out. I couldn't cope with losing you Y/N. Promise me if it gets to tough again and you can't talk to me, speak to Jared, Gen or Misha. Hell even talk to Mum but please don't be alone."

"I promise Jensen I will talk with Jared or Gen. I feel stronger Jensen I threw them away. I think I will get stronger with everyone else's help and of course your's."

He smiled and said, "You know you're the first women I have had in my bed ever. Not saying I'm a virgin I just never brought anyone home here and in my bed."

With a wink and a smirk on his face I slapped his shoulder and laughed. He looked at me and said, "I am really sorry for leaving you like that. I just couldn't listen to you tell us you wanted to die. I know it felt like the only way out when you were a kid but now you have me and Jared's family, Misha's family and my family for support. You will never be alone again Baby."

As a tear slips down his cheek and I kiss him gently on the lips as he moves me down the bed and deepens the kiss. Our tongues explored each other's mouths and I could taste the tears that had fallen on his lips. It was a sweet kiss as we both pulled back breathless.

He said, "Can you stay here with me tonight Baby. I need you, need to hold you close."

I said, "Ok but you still need to win my trust back Jensen."

"I know, I hope what I just told you is a start?"

"It is but I have another appointment with Daniela in a couple of days. Will you be able to come and stay?"

"Yes I will come and promise I will not run off this time. I will listen to you and hold your hand the whole session." 

I kissed him again as he snuggled my body into him and he whispered, "Good night Baby. I love you" to me this time and not the darkness. 

I said, "Good night Jensen. I love you too." I smiled as I was saying it to him and he kissed my neck as we fell asleep. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my story. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and will stay with me until the end. 
> 
> Next chapter the reader meets the rest of Jensen's family and Donna finds out about the pills. 
> 
> Thank you for all the lovely comments and kudos they are much appreciated. Thank you for all your kind messages when I took my break. It helped a lot and made me feel better. Take care and remember too AKF


	15. The one where Jensen's family visits.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader meets Jensen's family and Misha brings his family over as well. Misha is pissed at Dean for leaving the Reader and hits him as he sticks up for the Reader. Donna yells at Jensen asks him why? Jensen just doesn't have a good day. The Reader struggles with trusting him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jensen is hit by Misha for leaving the Reader as he sticks up for her and Donna goes mad at him as well. The Reader struggles with trusting him.  
> Jensen gets a bit of a raw deal in this chapter.
> 
> Warning: coarse language, Misha hits Jensen, Donna yells at Jensen. Reader cries. Jensen cries. Trust issues. Reader talks about thinking about committing suicide. Other mention of it as well. 
> 
> Please do not read if it could trigger anything you are important and this is only a story. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes my own. 
> 
> Thank you for reading please leave comments and kudos. 
> 
> Remember Always keep fighting.

I woke up with Jensen's arms around me and hum in contentment. Jensen was watching me as he had been awake for a while as he looked at my peaceful face as he gently removed a piece of hair from my face. 

I opened my eyes as I looked into his forest green eyes he smiled and said, "Morning Baby?"

I said, "Morning Jensen, how did you sleep?"

"Good and you?"

"Like a Baby I felt safe in your arms."

He smiled and said, "I should get up and get ready for work?"

"Yes you should."

He laughed as he moved his lips towards mine and gave me a kiss. It was soft and he bit gently on my lip, I opened to let him deepen the kiss. His tongue danced with mine as they did they own exploration of our mouths. I moaned into the kiss and Jensen moved over me and settled have on and half off my body.

He pulled away and just looked into my eyes as he said, "God your beautiful Y/N. I love you."

I looked him in the eyes and said, "I love you too Jensen."

He dipped his head so he could kiss my neck and as he sucked on my pulse point. I moved my hands to his waist as I rubbed my hand up his back under his t-shirt leaving scratch marks as he growled in response. He moved down lower as he kissed me through his shirt.

He looked at me and said, "You know you look sexy in my shirt."

"Mm and your not getting it back Ackles."

He laughed and said, "What if I take it back now?"

"You can try but I will win."

He gave me a smirk as he started to undo my buttons and pulled it open as he kissed my chest and then he lifted me off the bed so I was sitting in his lap. As he pulled it off completely and threw it on the bed. I looked at him as he pulled down one strap of my bra and then the other as he unhooked it. As it joined the shirt, he squeezed one breast as he moved me as I was stretched out so he could kiss and suck the other. He held me steady as he nipped it gently and I let out a whimper. He looked at me and saw I was lost in the pleasure as he moved to the other one and gave it the same attention. He hesitated where to put his hands. I looked at him and he saw the fear in them so he stopped.

He smiled and said, "It's ok. We were going to take this slow remember."

I shook my head and I said, "Is there any way for me to see what happens during sex so I would be less afraid of the idea of it Jensen?"

He laughed and said, "You want to watch porn with me." 

I looked all innocence and said, "Porn?"

He couldn't help but laugh again. "That's what it's could when people have sex in front of a camera."

I said, "They do that?"

"Yep and some of it is done very tastefully as well."

"Ok, I need to know what happens Jensen." I still had the look of fear on my face as he kissed me until I relaxed into the kiss and the fear had disappeared. 

He moved me off his lap and asked if I wanted to have a bath before breakfast. 

"Sure can you help me?"

He lifted me and carried me into his bathroom as I shriek in surprise. He ran the water for me as I got undressed. He helped me into it as he kissed me on the nose. He looked at me and just watched and he had a far away look on his face as I said, "Jensen you alright?"

"Mm," as he looked me in the eyes "I was just thinking about the first time I saw you in the bath."

"Yes I didn't know you, Jared or Misha were even in my home."

"You should have seen the surprise on your face."

"Well I was in the bath and three pairs of eyes watching me."

"Anyway now look your in my home and bathing in my bath."

"Hum it is nice Jensen, you better shower before you have to go to work."

He smiled as he slowly got undressed and climbed into the shower. He washed himself as I watched him he looked so handsome and his body wow it was incredible. His was gorgeous as I watched him climb out and dry himself as he grabbed a towel for me and helped me out as he wrapped it around me. Then he carried me back into my bedroom. He got some clothes for himself and asked me what I wanted as we got dressed together. 

He said, "Y/N do you mind if I get Gen come and stay with you today. And after work if my family comes over to meet you?"

I knew I couldn't keep avoiding his family so I said, "No it's ok Jensen I would like to meet them."

He said, "Really?"

I laughed and said, "Yes really."

He kissed me a quick kiss on the lips as he said, "I need to call Gen and Mum."

I said, "Ok, can you get my crutch and I will go start breakfast."

He said, "Sure" as he ran into his room and grabbed it for me. As the other one was lying on the floor as he picked that one up as well and gave them both to me.

I hobbled out of my room and down the stairs carefully. Jensen grabbed his phone as he called Gen first. 

Jared answered the phone as Jensen said, "Hey Buddy, can I ask a favour?"

"Hi Jensen, What's happened Y/N hasn't left again?"

"No, dumb ass, can Gen sit with her again today?"

Jared said, "Give me a minute and I will go ask."

He could hear Jensen calling out to Gen and said, "Sure I want to talk to Y/N see how last night went?"

Jensen rolled his eyes as he knew Gen will ask her everything. 

Jared came back and said, "Gen would love too. So how did it go last night Jensen?"

Jensen said, "Good we spoke about things and we are good. I still need to win Y/N's trust back but it was a start."

Jared said, "That's good. We also need to tell Misha what happened too. He would want to know he loves Y/N too."

Jensen sighed and said, "I know I will tell him when we get there."

"Ok, Got to go Gen's calling me."

"Ok, see you soon Jared. Bye."

"Bye Jensen."

He dialled his Mum's number and waited for her to answer.

"Hello Doodlebug, What's wrong, Y/N's alright?"

"Hi Mum, Y/N's fine just wanted to know if you and Dad, Joshua and MacKenzie would like to come over for tea and they can meet Y/N?"

"Well Doodlebug, You're father and I can come I'm not sure about your brother or sister. I will give them a call and find out for you? What time do you want us there? You sure Y/N is up to seeeing this many people Jensen? Do you want us to bring anything?"

"Mum slow down. Y/N wants to meet ya all. Come around 7pm and I got food covered. I will cook and BBQ and make some salads all good Mum."

"I could come over early and help with the salads?"

He rolled his eyes and said, "Ok, Mum. Gen is sitting with Y/N today I know she would love to see you too."

"Ok, Doodlebug I will be over soon."

"Bye Mum."

"Bye Doodlebug."

He sighs a deep sigh as he walks into the kitchen where I'm making scrambled eggs and toast. He smiles as he kisses me deeply and he holds me to him.

"Jay is everything alright?"

"Yeah, it's just frustrating talking to Mum. She's coming over early to prepare the salads for tea." He saw the panic in my eyes and pulled me in for another hug. "She doesn't know anything about what happened the other day. I didn't tell her it's between you, me and the Padalecki's. Are you ok with her coming over. I should have asked first."

"No its find I was worried she will find out about the pills and leaving you Jensen."

"It's ok, Gen will be here with you while Mum is here."

"Can Jared and Gen stay for tea as will. Maybe invite Misha and Vicki too. I really would like to meet them all and this will be the best way. Plus Misha doesn't know either does he?"

"No, we didn't have a chance to tell him. Do you want me to do it today while we are on set?"

"Could you and Jared please tell him I don't want him to be in the dark. He is like a big brother to me Jay."

"Ok, I will let Jared know and we will talk to him later."

"Thank Jay." He saw the tears in my eyes as he hugged me tight to him.

"It's going to be alright Baby."

"I hope so Jay, I hope so." I said into his shoulder.

We finished making breakfast and was eating it in silent I was pushing my food aroun down on my plate. When Jensen picked up our plates and put them in the sink as he washed them off. He put them in the dishwasher and came over to me and said, "Gen should be here in a minute?"

The door bell rang as Jensen went to answer it. Standing there was Clif waiting patiently on the other side. 

"Clif man what are you doing here so early?"

"It's eight o'clock Jensen you ready to go?"

"No we are waiting for Jared to come. Come in Clif, Y/N's in the kitchen."

He walked through the house until the came to the kitchen and I was drinking my hot chocolate Jensen made me early.

Jensen said, "Look who's here?"

I looked and Clif was stand in the door way. 

"Hi Clif, come in would you like some coffee?" As Jensen walked over to the coffee machine and poured him a cup.

"They would be nice Y/N."

"Please take a seat, Jensen will get you some..." I stopped as he put the cup in front of Clif.

He smiled at me and said, "I know how Clif likes his coffee."

Clif said, "How are you feeling Y/N?"

I smiled and said, "Better thank you for asking Clif."

He waved me off and said, "I've know Jensen and Jared for a long time and your family now so I care for you too."

I got up from my seat and gave Clif a kiss on the cheek as he blushed and I said in a whisper "Thank you Clif to know you will look after me too."

"It's my job to take of them too and now you as well."

"Well technically you don't but as I'm not them but it means a lot Clif."

"No, it's means a lot for me to be able to protect you both."

Jensen said, "Clif Jared should be here soon."

"Bloody Jared always late."

I had to laugh as the front door burst open with Jared's over 6 feet frame as Gen follows behind with Shep running pass them and into my waiting arms. 

"Hi Shep, how are you?"

He giggled and said, "Good."

Tom came and hugged me too as I said, "Good morning" to him.

Jare and Gen came in as Jared said, "Good morning" and gave me a kiss and turned to Clif and looked at this watch. "I'm not that late am I?" 

Clif said, "8am start today Jared."

He looked again at this watch it said 8.15am. "No one told me we better move or Bob will have my ass."

He kissed Gen and the boys and Odette quickly as he ran out to the car. Jensen kissed me deeply before he left and Clif I gave him a kiss on the cheek as did Gen. 

Then they were gone. The boys were playing quietly in the lounge room while Gen gave me Odette to hold. I looked down at her she was so tiny and beautiful. 

I said, "She looks like you Gen, she's so pretty and tiny." As tears slipped down my eyes and Gen noticed. 

"Hey, What's wrong Y/N?"

"I'm happy I guess. I've never felt this close to anyone that I do you and your family. I'm glad I met you Gen your a good friend."

"Me too Y/N you are really special and I know Jensen will fight for you. So want happened last night when you both spoke?"

"I told him how I was feeling and how I felt when he lefted me Gen." We didn't heard the front door open or close or the footsteps coming down the hall. "I told him about the pills Gen."

At that moment Donna walks in and said, "What pills Y/N's?"

Gen and I both looked around shocked to see Donna standing there with a look of utter shock. My own face resembled one of fear.

I stuttered out "Donna."

She looked at us both waiting for an answer. I sighed and said, "Come and sit down Donna and I will tell you everything."

She sat and looked waiting for me to start. I said, "Donna do you remember when I was going to see my therapist for the first time and Jensen was going with me."

"Yes, Why?"

"This isn't Jensen's fault Donna so please don't blame him."

As I looked at Gen who only looked at me and gave me a smile. 

"Jensen and I did go to the appointment. Daniela my therapist got me to remember a memory where I wanted to die. Jensen found it hard to listen to and left me. I couldn't find him anywhere so I called Gen. She came and picked me up and then I decided Jensen didn't want me so broken so I was going to leave and go back to Australia. Jared and Jensen came in time as I was having a panic attack."

"Yes alright so what happened then?" She kept her face neutral as she looked at me.

"Jensen brought me out of it and asked me to stay. I couldn't stay with him Donna I had lost my trust in him. So I went to stay at Jared's and Gen's house." As the tears fell down my face Gen took Odette from me as I started to shake. Donna got up and hugged me to her.

"I felt so broken and empty Donna I wanted to die to know the man I love did want me so I got out some pills I had in my bag and sat there looking at them. They felt alien to me as I opened the bottle and looked at them. I knew this would stop my pain but then I remembered all of you and I couldn't do it so I screamed and threw them across the room."

Gen said, "That's when I came in and saw her on the floor crying so I picked her up when I noticed the pills on the floor. So we talked and I asked her to talk to Jensen which they did and here they are now."

"So my son left you there and didn't even check to see if you were alright?"

"He said, "He was watching me when Gen came."

"But he left you?"

"Yes he did."

"Then he almost made you hurt yourself."

"Yes but Donna I feel stronger now after that."

"It good that you do but it still doesn't matter I thought I taunt my son better than to do that. I am very disappointed in him. I am so sorry he did that to you" as the tears slip down her eyes.

"Donna he did explain why he did it and I forgave him but I still don't trust him yet. He still has to earn it back."

"I think you sure make to hard on him, don't give in to easily with him. He needs to understand what he did to you."

"I know, I thought you would blame me?"

"Oh, God no dear girl my son is in the wrong here not you." As she hugged me again and looked at me and wiped my eyes. 

She kissed my forehead when the boys came running in and Shep saw and came over to hug me. I accepted his hug and kiss on the cheek. He said, "Its Ok, Y/N I'm here now."

Gen and Donna try to hide there laughed as he probably heard his Dad say it to his Mum. I smiled and said, "Thank you Shep my big strong man."

He beamed a smile so bright it lit up his whole face. Gen said, "Shep, Tom what's wrong?"

"We are hungry Mum," Tom said.

Donna got up and said, "What would you both like. Let's see what Uncle Jensen has in the cupboard."

So Donna found some of Jensen's gummi bears sash and gave some to the boys as I looked at her and she smiled.

"Gen why is Donna smiling?"

"Oh, you don't know?" As she smiled, "Jensen hides his gummi bears from the boys as they eat them on him and he gets none."

I thought about it and it occurred to me what Donna was doing and then I smiled. So we all moved into the lounge room and put the TV on for the boys to watch a DVD. As Gen, Donna and I talked and became closer.

 

Meanwhile at the set Jensen and Jared had caught up with Misha as he always asks how I'm doing.

Jensen told him the whole story about how he when to my therapy session and what happen and him leaving me and the pills. Basically everyhitng that has happened for the last couple of days.

Misha looked at Jensen and punched him in the face. 

Jensen said, "What the fuck Misha?"

"I told you if you hurt her I would fucking hit you. You left her Jensen in a strange country, you were lucky she had Gen's number. You know what she's been through and you couldn't deal with one session Jesus fucking Christ. She had to deal with this her whole life and you betray her by running away. Your lucky she even took you back Jensen I would've not after you hurt her into doing something that could hurt her." His anger was growing each time he spoken as he balled his fist up and hit Jensen again.

"Ok, I deserve your anger but can you stop hitting me."

Jared said, "I wanted to do that but Y/N asked me not too."

"Yeah well we have to stick up for her she's only has us Jared. She's like a little sister to me Jensen you hurt her again and I will beat the living shit out of you. You got me?" He ocean blue eyes blazing as his nosils flared in anger but his hands remained at his sides.

"Yeah I got you Misha" as he smiles knowing I have some protectors other than him.

"What are you smiling at Ackles,"Jared said.

"I know now that you both will protect Y/N no matter what or who it is."

Jared said, "Of course we will she's family,"

"I love her too you know," Misha said.

"I know Y/N wants to know if you Misha and your family would like to come for tea? You as well Jared she said "she's wants to do it all together to make it less stressful for her."

"I'll have to ask Vicki but it shouldn't be a problem."

"Great I know she's waiting to meet Vicki properly?"

"Yeah so is Vicki she wants to become friends."

Then they were called to the set where Jensen's eye was all puffy and bruised where Misha punched him twice. Bob the Director said, "Jensen what the hell happened?"

"Oh, sorry with were mucking around and Misha gave me a good right hook." As Bob rolled his eyes as he knew they were prone to injuring themselves mucking around Jared has a few times.

"Ok, we might be able to use it for the next few scenes."

" Great," Jensen said.

 

The day passed quickly with Gen and Donna for company and I got to hold Odette for most of the day. Donna and Gen started getting the salads ready for tea when there was a knock on the door.

Gen answered it, it was the meat for tonight Jensen must have ordered it during the day. So that packed it in the fridge. Gen came in and asked if I wanted anything.

"Can I help in any way Gen?"

"No, we got this you hold Odette for me."

"Ok, she been very peaceful. Gen may I get something to drink please."

"Sure, what would you like?"

"A glass of lemonade thanks."

"Sure" as she left and Shep came over and said, "That's Sissy Y/N?"

"Yes I know Shep she's beautiful as you are handsome."

"I love her like I love you."

"I love you too Shep." As he gave me a hug being careful of Odette.

Gen returned with me drink when she saw her son hugging me. She didn't even asked why as Shep when back to play with Tom.

She gave me my drink and I took a long gulp as my throat was dry. I put the drink on the stand next to my chair.

When the front door burst open and Jensen and Jared came through with the older man I presume Jensen's father. Jensen came over and gave me a kiss and a hug as he saw Odette in my arms and said, "Suits you Baby."

Jared gave me a kiss as he went in search for Gen as the boys attacked hugged him and he fell over laughing. Gen and Donna heard the commotion and came in from the kitchen.

Donna kissed the older man and said, "Y/N this is Alan, Jensen's father."

I smiled and said, "Please to meet you Sir."

"What's with the Sir just Alan will be fine."

"Ok thank you Alan."

Donna glared at Jensen as I noticed the bruise on his face. I said, "Jensen what happened to your face?"

Jared laughed as Jensen turned and said, "Shut Padalecki, Overlord got pissed and hit me twice."

"What Misha hit you twice? Why?"

"We told him about everything that has happened the last few days."

Donna said, "Speaking of which I want to speak to you about that Jensen Ross Ackles."

Oh shit she only uses his full name when he's in trouble. "Ok, Mum let's do it now before everyone else gets here."

"Alan you need to hear what your son did." He rolled his eyes as he knew he would have to deal with whatever it is.

They walked away towards the study when you could hear Donna yelling at him for being irresponsible and leaving me plus hurting me enough into hurting myself. 

Then I heard Alan he's quite voice was enough to rattle me as he asked Jensen "why he did it." He said, " I couldn't listen to Y/N say she wanted to die it hurt to much it broken me Dad. I just couldn't deal with it all. So I needed to clear my head. I know I did wrong and hurt her. We talked it through and worked it out she has forgiven me Dad. I know I don't deserve her forgiveness but she found it in herself to give it anyway. Can you both?"

Donna looked at her son how sorry he looked, how heart broken and distressed he feels. Donna hugged her son and whispered "of course son we can forgive you." 

Alan said, "You better make it up to the nice young gal Jensen she loves you."

"I know Dad and I love her."

He tapped his son on the shoulder as they left the study Jensen came and bent down on one knee and said, "Baby I am sorry for what I did and it will never happened again."

Jared said, "Not if you don't want your ass kicked again."

I looked at Jared as Gen told him to be quiet and Jensen said, "I know I have to earn your trust back Baby but can you forgive me enough.....?" as he pulled our ring out. "To where our ring?" He looked with hopefully eyes. 

I said, "Do you carry my ring with you everywhere Jensen?"

He looked down when I pulled his head up to see his eyes as he had tears in them. He said, "I couldn't leave it here not unless your wearing it."

"I can't Jensen not yet? It's too soon." 

He looked down as a tear rolled down his face. "I thought you have forgiven me Y/N?"

"I have Jensen I just can't wear it yet. We need to trust one another again before I put it back on."

He wiped the tears and said, "Ok, I understand Y/N."

I kissed him softly on the  lips as he deepen the kiss as his Mum cleared her threat just to remind us we weren't alone. We pulled back and laughed.

Alan said, "Ok son, Jared lets get the BBQ cooked."

Jensen got up as he was still holding my hand as he pulled away slowly. They headed outside and the doorbell rang Misha, Vicki and family were standing there. 

The kids ran to find Tom and Shep as they all sat down and played together. Misha came looking for me bringing Vicki with him.

I looked at Misha and said, "Hi Misha, Vicki."

Then West and Maison came up with some flowers and gave them to me. I looked at them and I smiled and said, "Thank you both very much."

They both smiled as they heard the boys running around to go follow. I looked at Misha as he bent and whispered, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you Y/N?"

I said, "It's alright Misha. But did you need to punch Jensen in the face?"

"I'm sorry I just got angry for what he did, he needed to know that I would stick up for you. It won't happen again I promise. But don't tell him that he thinks I will do it again if he hurts you again."

I laughed and it felt nice to laugh as Misha and Vicki joined in. Vicki said, "So how are you doing Y/N, Misha told me what happened?"

"I'm good and I feel stronger than I have in a long time. It's good to know I have the power to do something to help myself. I wouldn't before I would have just......" as I didn't finish. "It's also good to know I have you all here for love and support too."

Vicki knew what I was saying. Misha said, "I'm so proud of you Y/N that would have been a huge struggle for you. But you didn't do it. You know we all love you."

"I couldn't I knew I would be hurting to many people and myself if I did. I love you all and your my family."

Vicki said, "Yeah we are kind of family as we all spend a lot of time together during filming."

"Thank you both for coming and I hope we can have time just us and your family."

Vicki said, "I would like that."

Gen came in and said, "The big burly men are outside cooking the BBQ if you want to help Misha?"

He laughed and said, "Yeah better make sure they do it right. Talk to you later Y/N."

Gen took Odette for a feeding as I sat with Vicki we chatted about different things and I decided I liked her a lot. So was nice and caring and showed interesting in what I had to say. 

Jensen came in and said, "Joshua and MacKenzie are going to be late stuck in traffic."

I said, "Ok, no worries."

As he went back out to the BBQ and I sat and talked with Vicki, Gen when she returned and Donna. It was nice and I was enjoying being with them all. It was calm and pleasant and I felt comfortable and safe talking to them. It was the first time I felt part of a family and I liked it.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter I thought it would be good for the Reader to know that she is cared about by everyone not just Jensen and Jared and Gen. Thank you for your lovely comment and kudos. They are much appreciated. Next chapter Dean goes with the Reader to a therapy session. Will he stay or leave like last time? More on the BBQ.  
> Can the Reader trust him? Sorry Jensen gets a raw deal this chapter but he gets redeemed next chapter. 
> 
> Update soon.


	16. The one where the Reader meets Mackenzie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader meets McKenzie and decides to tell everyone the truth why Jensen, Jared and Misha went to Australia. Will Mackenzie understand or will she cause a wedge between Jensen and The Reader? Will Jensen fight for her and stay with her or will he think it's to much and leave again. The Reader almost has a panic attack and digresses back to the way she was in Australia. Can Jensen show her she is loved by him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader meets Mackenzie Jensen's sister. There is a tense moment when the Reader digresses back to thinking no one wants her and almost has a panic attack. 
> 
> Warnings: coarse language, mention of suicide attempt a couple of times, almost panic attack, not feeling wanted, angst, mention of almost rape, trust building. Sorry if I left any out. 
> 
> Sorry for the wait in this chapter life kind of got in the way. 
> 
> Sorry for the long chapter I wanted to finish the BBQ it's wasn't suppose to be this long it kind came out my head this way. 
> 
> Please do not read if it will trigger anything. As you are important this is just a story. So please remember to Always Keep Fighting. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes my own.
> 
> Comments and kudos much appreciated. You don't know how much I appreciated any feedback. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter sorry the BBQ went a bit longer than I thought it would. Next chapter Jensen and the therapy session.

Y/N was sitting on the lounge talking quietly with Gen, Vicki and Donna when Mackenzie walked in the door. She walked in and saw her Mum and Gen talking with me. When Donna looked up and said, "Mackenzie you're here we were waiting for you and your're brother. 

Mackenzie said, "It's just me Mum."

"Come in here" as Donna gets up and grabs her daughters hand to bring her in as she stands in front of me. She looks at me and she looks just like her Mum. 

Donna said, Mackenzie this is Y/N, Y/N this is Mackenzie Jensen's sister."

l smiled and said, "Please to meet you Mackenzie."

"So your're the one who has claimed my brother's heart. You know I never thought it would happen but here you are."

"Yeah, I guess?"

"You guess he brought you back with him so he must love you a lot Y/N. I've never seen my brother do that with any one before?"

"He is very special you're brother."

"Yes he is" as she gave me a smile. 

Gen said, "So Mac how have you been?"

"Good and you?"

"We all have been well and Shep has a crush on Y/N."

"He does that would be so sweet."

"Yeah he is a sweetie."

Donna said, "Y/N's from a Australia Mackenzie."

"Yeah, Mum I heard the accent. So what's Australia like?"

"It's a nice place to live if you haven't been anywhere else."

"I bet this is all a little strange for you?"

"You don't know the half of it."

Mackenzie looked at her Mum and said, "What's happened?"

"I will tell you later Mackenzie I don't think Y/N want to go through that again."

"Thank you Donna."

Vicki said, "I will go check on the boys."

Mackenzie said, "I'll come too to say hi. Talk to you later Y/N?"

 "That would be nice Mackenzie."

She moved off with Vicki and I looked at Donna and said, "She seems nice."

"She is when you get to know her better."

 

Meanwhile the boys were cooking the BBQ having a drinking contest when Jensen spotted Mackenzie. 

He said, "Hey Mac how long you been here?"

"Only a few minutes."

"Have you met Y/N yet?"

"Yeah she seems nice Jensen what happened to her arm?"

"She accidentally cut herself."

"She's going to be alright?"

"Yeah the wound will heal. But not what I did to her?"

"What did you do?"

As they walked away from everyone he started to explain what happened. He told her about the appointment and leaving me. How I was going to leave him and stayed with Jared. How we talked but I still don't trust him. How he really loves me.

Mackenzie looked at her brother stunned at what he told her. She gave him a hug and then said, "So you really love her Jensen without a doubt?" 

"Yes, Mac I haven't felt like this in a long time. She the one for me, she's the only person I want."

"You know she will trust you again Jensen. She's forgiven you for leaving her and you will earn her trust just give her some time."

"I know Mac but it's killing me."

Mac gave him a sympathetic look and said, "It will take some time Jensen."

 

Vicki was talking with Misha and Jared when Jared hugged Mackenzie as did Misha. He looked down at her and said, "So Mac you going to drink us under the table again?"

"No, not tonight I'm driving home."

"Oh, that's a shame."

"Maybe some other time."

"Ok, your on."

She stayed outside with Jensen talking to him as he helped with the BBQ. His phone rang and Josh said, "He was unable to come his son was sick."

Jensen said, "Nothing serious Josh."

"No, just a cold, he will be fine in a few days."

"Ok, you talk care of my nephew." 

"I will can you apologise to Y/N for my Jensen."

"Sure no problems. Bye Josh.

"Bye Jensen."

 

Jensen excused himself for Mackenzie who followed him into the house to tell us that Josh wasn't coming. Jensen came in and said, "I sorry Baby but Josh can't make it. His little boy is sick."

"Oh, he's going to be alright Jensen?"

"Yeah just a cold."

Jensen came over and kneed down in front of me and said, "You alright you're looking tired Baby?"

"I am tired but I want to do this Jensen, it's important for me to know you're family."

He smiles and said, "We could have asked Mackenzie and Josh over another day? You're not feeling overwhelmed Y/N?"

"I do but I'm fine I have Gen and Donna here to help me and I just look at Odette and she seems so small and fragile that she helps keep me grounded."

"You know that really does suit you holding a baby." 

I blushed as he leans in and whispers "maybe one day Baby." As he kisses my neck and then my ear as Mackenzie watches her older brother with so much awe at how much he really does love me. He then kisses my lips as I whimpered softly no one but Jensen heard me. When he pulled back Mackenzie could see the love between us and smiled. 

Jared came in and said, "The foods ready if you want to set up the tables. So they all headed outside to help with the food as I was left with Odette I looked down at her and said, "Hey baby girl I want one like you one day with uncle Jensen. Would you love her as much as we all love you."

Mackenzie was standing at the door listening in when I said, "Your Uncle Jensen hurt me and I know he didn't mean to but I just can't trust him yet. I love him more each and every day Odette. One day we will have a beautiful little girl like you. He has already promised me he will marry me and I know he will keep his promise. He has helped make me stronger and I know I can fight anything now. I'm glad that only the boys know the struggle I go through each day just to live. They know I cut myself with a flash back, but I don't know how Mackenzie or Josh would take it to know I did it without thinking and then when Jensen left me I wanted to die. But I found the strength not to do it. Yes sweet girl it will take awhile before that trust can be built again between us but I'm not giving up. I love him to much to give up on us." As I kissed Odette on the head.

Mackenzie was holding her breath listening as a tear slippped down her eyes she never realised the struggle I have and how much I fight to stay alive. She smiled at the thought that I knew Jensen would keep his promise. She though maybe she has miss judge me and that I really am a nice person and Jensen really does love me. She can see the love I have for him. She knew she wanted to get to know me better. 

She cleared her throat as she wiped the tear away and walks in and said, "Y/N are you ok?"

I looked at her and said, "Yes fine, are you?"

"Why do you ask?"

"It looks like you've been crying?"

"No, it's just the smoke from the BBQ stinging my eyes."

"Ok, you need any help with anything?"

"Nah, I think Mum has it covered."

"Maybe I should call Gen to get Odette then."

"She will come in a minute. So Y/N tell me about yourself."

 "What would you like to know?"

"How you and Jensen meet and how your knee got broken?"

I laughed as I said, "Well I was called by SPN productions in Australia saying that Jensen, Jared and Misha wanted me to be their special guess at the July con. Anyway one thing lead to another and they came to Australia and they found me in the bath. I slipped over and pulled Jensen down with me and we both heard a crack and it was my knee."

"So why did they go to Australia in the middle of filming?" She asked.

"I....I'm," then Jensen burst in the back door telling us tea was ready. He looked at me and saw panic in my eyes.

Mackenzie said, "We will finish talking later." As she got up to leave and walked out the door.

Jensen came over and saw the look that I was about to have a panic attack. He grabbed my hands and held them he said, "Baby look at me."

My head suddenly felt really heavy when he lifted my chin my breathing was coming in short pants as he kisses me. He moved his mouth on mine as he deepen the kiss and I whimpered and he growled into it. We kissed for what seemed like an eternity when he pulled back. I was breathless but the panic had left my eyes. 

He said, "What happened?"

"Mackenzie" I stuttered out. 

"Yeah what about Mackenzie?"

"Jensen she wants to know why you, Jared and Misha dropped everything and went to Australia? Jensen what if she already knows somehow?"

"How I didn't tell her?"

"Maybe Donna did?"

"No, Mum wouldn't not without asking us first. Do you want her to know Baby?"

"I guess there shouldn't be any secrets between us."

"Do you want me to tell her?"

"I was thinking yes but it's probably better if we all do it? Jared and Misha too so she can see it from all points of view. Jensen I'm scared what if she decides I'm not good enough and makes trouble for us?"

"Don't worry we will stay together she won't  do anything."

Donna walked in and said, "you two coming there be no food left with Jared out there eating it all."

Jensen  said, "We will be right out." 

Jensen takes Odette from me and helps me up with his other hand. I hold Odette briefly as he grabs my crutches and takes Odette back. We walk out together when Gen comes and takes Odette from Jensen. Jensen puts his arm around my waist as I hobble on the crutches to sit down.

He whispers in my ear, "It's going to be alright Y/N? What do you want to eat?" As he squeezes my hand for reassurance.  

"I don't know Jensen just put anything I'm not all that hungry."

He looked as I haven't not eaten much since we left Australia. I looked him in the eyes and said, "I'm fine Jensen really."

He knew something was not right maybe I was worried about the talk with Mackenzie he thought. He grabbed two plates and put some salad on mine and some meat. He stacked his plate with food as he came back and sat down. He pass me my plate as I looked at all the food on it. I knew I probably wouldn't eat much at all. I picked up the fork he gave me and tried the potato salad.

It wasn't bad, when Jensen said, "Mum's famous recipe she puts bacon and egg in it." 

"Its nice Jensen." 

He smiles as he watches me eat very little food. He looks at Jared who also is watching me and raises his eyebrows in question to what's going on. Jensen looks at Mackenzie as Jared looks where he's looking. He nods his head in understanding.

Jared said, "Hey Princess the meat is cooked really nice we cooked it, Misha and I with Alan's help."

Misha then picked up on what Jared was saying and looked at me as he noticed I was looking pale and not eating again. He tried this time.

He said, "Hey Minion this is your Overload here, you are he by ordered to eat some meat."

I looked at him and their was a slight smile on my face he could always make me smile. I said, "Sorry Overload I'm not hungry?" Misha looked sad as he looked at Jensen and he again looked at Mackenzie as a silent cue for what's going on. 

I said, "Will you all excuse me I think I might go rest on the lounge for a bit."

Jensen said, "Baby you've hardly eaten anything, try to eat something more."

I smiled at his worry and said, "I'm fine really I'm just not hungry."

I got up to leave when Jensen grabbed my arm and held me and whispered "Is this to do with Mackenzie?"

I shook my head yes and he let me go and I moved off toward the house.

Jared said, "Jay you want me to go talk to her?"

"It couldn't hurt Jared."

He followed me into the house as I was sitting on the lounge with tears streaming down my face. He saw the tears and hugged me tight and said, "Hey what's happening?"

I cried into his shirt for what seemed like forever which was only a few minutes. "Sorry about your shirt Jared?"

He waved me off and said, "It's easy to clean. So you going to tell me what's happened?"

"I was talking with Mackenzie and I almost had another panic attack when Jensen stopped it."

"What happen to bring on the attack?" He asked

"She asked me to tell her what happened in Australia. Which I did but I left out the almost wanting to commit suicide part. Then she asked why you three left filming in the middle of a season to come out here Jared. I'm worried she will force Jensen and me apart I couldn't bare to lose the only support network I have and him. Jared what if she hates me."

"Hey, hey look at me. Jensen, Misha and myself will never abandon you ok. No matter how she feels or what she does. We all love you and you're apart of our family now. We will always be here for you."

"But Jensen won't want to lose his sister over me. I'm just someone he met a few weeks ago." Jared noticed I had digressed back into no one would care if I was there or not or want me. He sighed trying to hold back his anger at me as he schooled his emotions. 

"Look I know how much Jensen loves you. Remember when you were going to leave him yesterday and you stayed at our house."

"Yes" I sniffled. 

"Well all day on set he couldn't get any of his lines right. He couldn't remember any of them or was even interested in being there. The Director end up calling it a day as he wasn't getting anywhere with Jensen. Jensen was spaced out half the time we had to snap him back from where ever he was. He was very unfocused and unsettled. The Jensen I know wouldn't never have done that he was more profession than that. So he screwed up because he loves you and cares about you. If Mackenzie makes trouble I know who Jensen will chose and I won't be his sister."

"Really Jared you think he will chose me?"

"Of course without a doubt in my mind he will."

"I asked him if we could tell everyone what happened in Australia and why you all came out so it won't cause me to panic anymore."

"See that's a really good decision and a very strong one. So we will all talk to everyone after tea?"

"Yeah, I guess but I'm feeling really tired Jared do you mind if I just rest a bit first."

"Sure do you want me to stay?"

"Please could you?"

He turned me so I had my head resting in his lap as he stroked my hair gently as I closed my eyes. I was asleep in seconds as he continued to stroke my hair. I had hold for his other hand as well my hand went lax in his when I feel asleep. He kept his hand in mine as for comfort. Jensen walked in and saw I was asleep and whispered "What happened?"

"She's worried you will leave her again Jensen and decide she's not worth the effort. Shit Jensen she actually distressed back to when we were in Australia saying she wasn't worth worrying about that no one would care. I was so angry I had to school my emotions for her. I never thought she would be this bad again Jensen. Fuck I just want to make it better for her."

"Does she still wants to tell everyone what happened?"

"Yes, Y/N wants to be able to not worry about a panic attacks when it's brought up. She thinks it will help make her stronger."

Jared still was stroking my hair when Jensen looked down and said, "I made this worst didn't I leaving her and now she thinks I'm going to do it again."

"Yep but I think deep down she knows you won't but her mind she screaming something else at her. You have to show her you won't leave her again Jensen."

Misha walked in then and saw I was asleep and asked, "Is Y/N ok?"

"Not really'" Jensen said.

 "What did you do this time Ackles do I need to punch you again?"

"It wasn't me sort of anyway?"

"What do you mean sort of?"

"I came in earlier and Y/N was talking with MacKenzie and she was starting to have a panic attack. I stopped it but she told me Mackenzie asked about why we went to Australia. Now she thinks I don't want her and has gone back to the way she was in Australia went she said, no one cares what happens to her. Fuck I am to blame for her feeling like that when I left her she thinks I'm going to do it again."

"So what are you going to do Ackles?"

"Y/N wants tell you everyone why we went and she needs to know I will now leave her ever again."

"So when are we going to talk to everyone?"

"Is everyone finished tea yet Misha?"

"Just about why?"

"When they are done we will call everyone in here and I will wake Y/N up and then the four of us will tell them everything. I can't let her feel this pain anymore Misha."

"Ok, we will back you both up and help with the telling too."

Donna and Gen walked in and saw I was asleep and Donna said, "Is Y/N ok, Jensen?"

"No, but she will be soon."

Donna looked at her son wondering what he has planned and saw he was looking at Jared and Misha for support. Gen walked over to Jared and said, "What's happening Babe."

"Y/N is going to tell everyone what happened in Australia. I've told you most of it but some I missed out because she asked us not to say anything. Y/N want you all to know the whole truth."

"Mum has everyone finished outside?"

"Yes, Doodlebug they have."

He smiled as this is the first time since the argument that she has called him Doddlebug. "Can you ask them all to come in here in about 10 minutes give us time to wake Y/N without scaring her."

"Sure Doodlebug," as she left. 

Jensen turned to me and rubbed my cheek I moved my hand to my cheek and I moaned in my sleep. "Baby, its time to wake up?"

"No, nice and warm and comfortable."

He laughed and said, "Jared's legs gone to sleep."

I opened me eyes and waited for them to adjust to the light. He looked in my eyes and I saw love and worry. He smiled a sad smile as he bent to kiss me on the lips. 

Jared said, "Princess you ready for our talk to everyone?"

I sighed and said, " I guess I can't keep putting it off."

Gen said, "You have us for support ok."

I smiled as I knew she would always be there to help and support me.

"Jared I think we need to put the boys somewhere they have fallen asleep at the table."

Jared said, "Excuse me," as I moved to let him up so he could grab his boys.

Misha said, "I will help you both, my kids are asleep too. Jensen can we put them in your room?" 

"Sure Misha."

They left and he looked at me and sat down next to me and said, "See how it's just us I want to say something to you." I shook my and waited. "I need you to know Y/N that I will never leave you again. You are the one for me and I will always want you. The first time I saw you on my phone screen I was lost and I knew I would move heaven and hell to make you happy. I am sorry for leaving you and I hope you can again trust me. I know it's killing me that you don't but I do understand. I love you and I really truly want to marry you. I asked Mum if knowing you for a week was too soon to ask you. She told it was so I will wait and we will grow together Baby as a couple. I will show you the joys and wonders of having sex. We will do it all and have it all. I love you Y/N more each day. I'm glad I wake up too you beside me in our bed. The first thing I see is you and you look fucking amazing."

He kissed me long and passionate and I felt loved and wanted it was something I needed to hear as we pulled away he kissed my forehead.

I said, "After a week Jensen?"

He laughed and said, "Yep that's how sure I was."

"I'm glad you waited Jensen. I don't know if I can handle a marriage proposal at the moment. Plus we need to get to know each other better too."

"I know that's what Mum said."

"Smart woman your Mum."

He laughed a throaty laugh and I said, "What?"

"That's what everyone said."

He gave me a brief hug as everyone came in. Jared, Gen and Misha returned and Gen must have put Odette in the bed with the boys. 

They all sat down when Alan asked, "What's going on?"

I took a deep breath and said, "There are questions you need answered so we are" as I pointed to Jared, Jensen and Misha "are going to answer them."

Jensen said, "I know you are probably wondering why we when to Australia in the middle of filming?"

As he looks at Mackenzie who said, "Yes, I was wondering why?"

Jared said, "Well we wanted to surprise Y/N with a free trip and attend the July con in Australia. Anyway she didn't believe so we did a live feed."

Misha said, "Anyway after the feed we gave Y/N our numbers as Jensen noticed something in her voice."

I looked at him as I hadn't realised he even heard my voice crack. He smiled and nodded as he did. 

I said, "Anyway Jensen called me the next day and we spoke and I was crying and he told me that I mattered to them. That I was important to them. That I was special and cared about and I was a worthless nobody." 

As a tear slipped down my cheek and Jared sat down the other side of me and held my hand as Jensen had his arm around me and gave me a squeeze.

Jensen  said, "Then everything happened all at once. Y/N lost a pet where she worked, she felt alone and thought no one cared. When she hung up we were worried she was going to hurt herself so we intimidate Bob in letting us have a week off. Then we caught the next flight out and all the while we couldn't reach her. It was killing me not to know she was alright." As tears were stinging his eyes as he looked at me and kisses my hand.

Mackenzie said, "So you went after her to see if she was alright Jensen?"

"We all needed to know we couldn't leave her there alone and broken." Jensen answered.

Jared said, "I've  ever seen Jensen threaten to hit someone before so I told him to cool down and then I stepped in and got our week off. When we arrived we didn't know how to find her? So Misha said, "call SPN Productions and we got her address."

"When we arrived the front door was broken and unlocked. She had furniture which was ripped and her fridge looked like it was going to fall apart. We looked at each and decided our decision to bring her out of there was a good one. We looked in the bedroom she had a black and white TV and her clothes where threadbare and unsuitable for keeping her warm. We eventually found her in the bathroom, " Misha said.

Jensen said, "We could hear singing. I could tell you now my heart was beating so fast as we didn't know what we were going to find in the other side of the door. I was so worried we would her in a different way but when we opened the door there she was. When I looked into her eyes for the first time, I knew she was the only one for me. It's was like a instant connection I can't explain I know Y/N felt it too. I knew then I would do anything to make her life better."

I said, "I was going to commit suicide the night before I sat on my kitchen floor and looked at the pills. I cried as I watched the video feed on Facebook again. I knew then that there were some people who cared even though they were on the other side of the world so I put the pills away. When they arrived at my house and opened my bathroom door I didn't hear them and they scared me. I was getting out when they turned to give me some privacy when I slipped and fell pulling Jensen with me as we fell I heard a crack. I thought it was Jensen who was hurt."

Jared laughed and said, "He looked look a drowned rat all wet. Anyway we got Jensen up and that's when we knew her knee was broken. She cried out in pain so we decided to take her to the hospital where Misha saw she was living on spaghetti and noodles. We couldn't leave her there. So we took her to the hospital and found out her knee was broken and she told us she was going to commit suicide. She looked lost and empty, her eyes were emtionless. So when we finished at the hospital we when back to her house and collected some clothes. Then we took her to a hotel with us."

Misha smiled and said, "We got the penthouse suite. You should have seen her face it was like absolute awe of everything. So we gave her the room with the view and she rested as we settled in for the night. Sometime during the night Y/N and a nightmare and Jensen comforted her. He stayed with her in her bed and they both slept soundly. As he did every night after that."

I said, "The next morning I was looking at Jensen and one thing led to another and he kissed me. It was my very first kiss and it was amazing" as I blushed. "Jensen then helped me into the bath and I got dressed and they took me shopping for new clothes. It was incredible the clothes and makeup I've never seen before. I told them I would paid them back I'm no charity case. But Misha said, "It was a gift so I couldn't paid it back."

"We left her at the store with some very nice people as we had a thought to buy her a necklace which is around her neck. We wanted to give her something to remind her to always keep fighting. We asked her if she would come back to Canada with us so we could be her support network. I couldn't leave her not when I saw the way she was living it was breaking my heart. I also made her the promise I will marry her one day and gave her this ring," He said as he pulls the ring out of his pocket. 

Jared said, "So we began building her trust and slowly she was beginning to trust us. Then all the stuff with the media happened and she was going to leave us and go back home."

"Y/N went out to think and she was almost raped by a man as we heard her screaming my name for help. So help me if Jared and Misha hadn't pulled me off him I would have killed him. I was so worried he had hurt her but she was shook up but he didn't do anything. The cops said, "he broke his parole and went back to prison. I was so relived Y/N was alright." Jensen sighed. 

Gen said, "So that's why you never told us because Y/N didn't want us to know what happened."

"Yes, I wasn't sure if you would blame me for it and I couldn't really deal with it."

"You know we would never judge you Y/N, you have been through so much all we want to do is support and help you," as she got up and gave me a hug. 

"Thank you Gen it means a lot to know I have you all. I haven't had anyone ever who cared about my welfare before."

"Then we spoke to the reporter and set everything straight and we stayed another day waiting for Y/N's passport and then we left and came here." Misha said. 

Donna said, "Y/N was doing well until she had a flashback and cut herself while having it. You was worried I would send you away from Jensen."

"Yes, I couldn't bear it." 

"Then I screwed up at Y/N's therapy session. I couldn't handle her saying she wanted to die so I left her there. I watched to make sure she was fine. But she wasn't she was going to go back to Australia and leave me. So Jared and I chased after her and she was having a panic attack when we arrived. Gen was trying to get her to listen but she was gone. I touched her face like I did with the flashback attack and she came back. But she couldn't stay with me as she didn't trust me anymore."

"Y/N came and stayed with us. Jensen hurt her and she thought he didn't want her because she was broken and damaged so she was sitting on the floor with a bottle of pills in her hand. I heard her scream and came to see what happened and I saw the pills and as I helped her up I hugged her and said she needed to talk to Jensen," Gen said.

"So I brought Jensen home and they talked it out." Jared said. 

"I decided to come back home with Jensen but I didn't trust him still. He had a nightmare and I went to wake him. He held me so tight and I asked him what it was about?" As looked at him. 

Jensen looked at his parents before he started. He took a deep breath and said, "Mum, Dad do you remember Jo?"  They both shook their heads. "You remember how we were together what I never told you Jo was my lover, my girlfriend, my best friend she was my everything. When she died it broke apart of me too. I lost the one person I loved most in the world and just like that she wasn't there anymore. I was suppose to be with them that day but Dad needed help with the chores so I stayed home."

Donna looked at Jensen as it suddenly dawned on her why Jensen never really when out after Jo's death. "Oh, my dear boy I'm so sorry why didn't you tell us?"

"I couldn't it was too painful so I retreated and cut people off from me. When Jared and Gen wanted to set me up I just couldn't let anyone in. In case they died again but when I saw how much pain Y/N had gone through I knew I needed to let her in and help her. I knew I was in love with her. That's why I left it brought back to many painful memories for me, listening to her wanting to die. I just couldn't do it."

Donna got up and hugged her son and whispered "I'm sorry my boy."

"I walked in here earlier after Y/N and Mackenzie spoke and she was about to have a panic attack so I had to help her. So we decided it would be good to tell you all everything so next time you ask she won't feel uncomfortable to the point of an attack."

Mackenzie looked at me and said, "I'm really sorry for causing you any pain Y/N. I was worried for my brother what if you hurt him and he would be devastated."

"It's ok I understand Mackenzie I really do."

She smiled and said, "Call me Mac."

I smiled and said, "Ok, Mac." As she got up and hugged us both and said, "I love you Jensen and Y/N your one lucky woman to love my brother."

"Yes, I am." 

Alan said, "So what happens now?"

Jensen said, "I'll go to Y/N's therapy session tomorrow and we promise to always talk about what we are feeling so this never happens again."

"I feel better, I feel relieved no more secrets and it's good to know you all were understanding."

Alan said, "If I know my son he will not give you up that easily my dear girl."

I smiled as Mackenzie said, "I don't think Y/N would give up either Dad."

Jared staid, "Maybe we all should go as I know Y/N's tired and we have to get our kids home to bed." 

Donna said, "What about the dishes?"

"Don't worry Mum I will put them in the dishwasher tomorrow you go with Dad."

"Ok, son I love you both,"as she gave us both a kiss. 

Jared got up and went to get his boys while Gen got Odette and they hugged us goodbye. 

Misha and Vicki grabbed Maison and West and they too hugged us and left.

Mackenzie got up and headed for the kitchen. Jensen said, "Mac it ok I will do them in the morning. Go home and drive safe. I love you little sister."

"I love you too Jensen and Y/N you take care of him."

"I will promise," as she hugs me and then Jensen and leaves too.

 "Jensen let's get the dishes done?"

"Nah, I will do them in the morning you're tired let's go to bed and worry about this tomorrow."

"Ok, I am tired after all the explaining. I feel drained emotionally."

So we headed upstairs Jensen picked me up and carried me up the stairs and helped me change into my PJ's. I climbed into bed as he joined me a few moments later. He kissed me good night and said, "I love you Y/N."

"I love you Jay."

We both were asleep a few moments later. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading my story. Thank you for all comments and kudos they are very much appreciated.  
> Remember to AKF. 
> 
> Next chapter up soon.


	17. The one where Jensen redeems himself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader and Jensen go to her appointment but first they go to the set where the Reader lands a job. Then they head to the appointment and Jensen redeems himself and stays with the Reader as she relives a terrifying memory. Clif has taken a liking to The Reader and is very sweet and protective of her also.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jensen redeems himself and The Reader feel stronger and gets a job. 
> 
> Warnings: Please be warned Reader describes past abuse by her parents and kids at school. She also tells Daniela about wanting to hurt herself. Lots of tears and fluff and coarse language. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Please do not read if it will cause any triggers you are important to me. This is just a story. 
> 
> Remember AKF  
> Comment are always welcome.

In the morning Jensen had been up for awhile he had cleaned everything up from the BBQ, he let me sleep in. I moved downstairs on my crutches after I had finished dressing when I noticed everything had been cleaned.

I looked at Jensen and said, "Why didn't you wake me? I would have helped you?"

"You have a very tiring day yesterday and you have your appointment with Daniela today. I will get time off work to come with you. Unless you want to come with me to work?"

I looked at him as he never asked me that before. I said, "What will I do while your working?"

"You can talk to Misha and Jared. I will introduce you to our Director anything you want to do."

"Um," he looked with at me with hope in his eyes. "Ok, Jensen I will come but are you going to be alright with my session today?"

He walked over as he lift me to hold me in his arms and said into my ear, "I promised to hold your hand through the whole session and that's what I'm going to do. I'm not going to let you down ever again Baby."

I shook my head as he pulled back and kissed me it was nice and gentle. He smiled and said, "So you want some breakfast?"

"Yes, please."

"How does bacon and eggs sound."

I smiled as he knows how much I like bacon. He got the food from the fridge and a frying pan and started to cook it. He looked at me as I moved over to help with the toast as he handed me the bread. So we worked in companionable silence as we got our breakfast ready.

We ate breakfast when there was a knock on the door. Jensen said. "It's probably Jared?"

Jensen opened the door and he saw Jared and Misha standing there. He said, "Hey guys, Um Misha what are you doing here?"

Jared said, "Hey Jensen, look who I found lurking outside your door."

"I'm filming today remember?"

"Yeah I know," as he rolls his eyes "I mean here we usually pick you up along the way."

"Oh, I thought I would save Clif a extra trip. It's ok isn't it?"

"Sure it is buddy. Come in Y/N's in the kitchen."

I heard voices as I recognised them it was Jared and Misha. They all walked in as I looked at them. Jared said, "Hey Princess, how are you today?"

"I'm good and you?"

"Same," as he kissed my cheek.

"Minion, how are you?"

"I'm good Overlord Sir. Jensen asked me to go to the set today with you all."

Jared looked at Jensen and said, "That's a really good idea."

"At least I will have someone to talk too while these two do their scenes," Misha said.

Jensen said, "Yeah you never know what might happen on the set?" Looking at Misha and smiling. I couldn't help but laugh at them. Jared and Misha got a cup of coffee while we waited for Clif.

Misha said, "So you looking froward to coming on set Y/N?"

"Yeah, I would love to see where you all work and met the Director of the show."

Then there was a knock at the door. Jensen said, "That will be Clif. Baby you ready?"

"Do I need anything?"

"Nope just you and the crutches."

"Ok, I'm ready then."

He opened the door as Clif saw Misha standing there as well as me. He said, "Morning Y/N, Jensen, Jared and Misha."

I said, "Morning Clif."

He looks at Jensen and Jensen said, "Oh yeah, Misha came in early to save you a drive and I invited Y/N to the set today."

His face lit up into a huge grin and said, "Really you coming with us?"

"Yep, that's alright isn't it."

"Yes, it wonderful as I get to care for you too and I can help you."

Jensen has never seen Clif this excited before as he looks at me and smiles.

Clif said, "Do you need any help Y/N?"

"Not at the moment Clif but thank you."

Jared looked at Jensen and Misha as they were trying to hold back their laughed at the way Clif was acting. The normally badass bodyguard who was a tough as nails with the boys, was all gushy and soft with me.

Jensen whispered "I don't think he will be going to far from you today Baby."

I smiled as I knew Jensen was probably right as we walked out to the waiting SVU. Jared hopped in the front because of his long legs as Jensen helped me get in and put the crutches in the back. I sat in the middle as Jensen was on one side and Misha on the other. I leaned on Jensen shoulder as his arm went around my waist. Clif looked to make sure we all were comfortable and had our seat belts on as he pulls out. He takes the extra long route to the set and points out the different land marks on the way for me to see.

Jensen looked at me and smiled went we finally arrived and Clif stopped the car as he jumps out to get my crutches for me.

Jensen said, "You ok, Baby?"

"Yeah, this is a big place?" As we get out the car.

Jared said, "Look we will take you over to the other sets to met the stars if we get time?"

"Jared that would be nice but I have my appointment in a couple of hours."

He looks at Jensen and before he can say anything. Jensen said, "We are good Jared I promised her I wouldn't leave her."

Misha heard and said in a low growl, "You do Ackles and we will kick your ass."

I said, "He will be fine Misha but thank you."

"We Overlords have to protect their minions."

"Thank you Overlord," as I hugged him, when Jared said, "Where's mine?"

So he moved over to me and hugged me.

We moved onto the set with Clif closed behind us as he left to go find me a chair to sit on.

Jensen lead me over to a older man sitting in the Directors chair when Jensen said, "Bob Singer this is Y/N?"

Bob looked at me with a stern face and said, "So your the one who shut down my set for a week?"

I looked at Jensen and then Bob's face soften and said, "I'm glad your ok Y/N. These two here were ready to kick my ass," as he points to Jensen and Jared.

"I'm sorry for their behaviour Mr Singer, I didn't want to be any trouble?"

"Please call me Bob and it's ok. They told me why they went and I'm glad your safe," as he smiles,

"Are you staying to watch filming today Y/N?"

"If you don't mine Bob?"

Jared moves away as he was called to wardrobe.

"Of course not, maybe you can actually get them to work?"

I laughed and said, "I will see what I can do for you Sir."

"If you do I will give you a job to get them organised for there scenes. You think you can manage it, being their PA's."

"Sure, I would love too."

Then Clif turned up with a seat for me but I followed Jensen to his trailer as he got changed into his Dean clothes.

I said, "Jensen are you alright with what Bob just asked me to do?"

He looked unhappy for a minute when I thought he didn't want me to do the job and then his face changed into a wide grin.

He said, "Of course I am now we have to make sure that Misha and Jared are pull into line."

"They aren't that bad are they?"

He laughed a deep throaty laugh and said, "You haven't seen them on set."

"Oh boy, what have I've gotten myself into?" Jensen came over and held me in his arms and gave me a heated kiss. He pulled away as he looked me in the eyes and said, "They will be alright once we tell them what Bob said?"

"I hope so or this is going to be a very short job offer."

We walk out to the set where Jensen tells them what Bob had said about the job and Jared said, "Ok we will behave."

Misha smiled and whispered in my ear "Thank you I will be safe from pranks today."

I smiled and said, "Ok you all better get on set." As Clif comes up behind me and guides me to a seat he had waiting. He stood nearby but didn't hover.

Bob looked at me and was impressed when they were on set really to go. His said, "Jensen we will do your scenes first since your leaving early for Y/N's appointment."

Jensen nodded as I took the seat Clif had gotten me and watched as Jensen and Jared had a dialogue scene. It was interesting watching them change from Jensen and Jared to Dean and Sam.

Misha was sitting next to me as he is suppose to walk in and then speak. He moved quietly to his marker and with no preamble starting saying his lines. I watch them all in awe of their acting ability. It's so different watching in real life than on TV. Then Bob yelled cut and the scene was finished.

The three of them came over like excited school boys asking me what I think?

I said, "Well to tell you the truth I think you could have done it better," trying to hide my smile.

They looked at each other and I laughed then and Jared said, "You're going to regret that Princess?"

"Yeah how am I?"

Jared looked at Jensen and Misha as he tickled me and I said, "Ok give, I'm sorry you all were amazing and very sexy."

That brought a smile to each of their faces as Jensen lean in and said in a whisper, "This is still not over wait until later Baby," in a husky voice that sent a shiver down my shiver.

Bob said, "Right we are ready for the next scene as the three of them were in the Impala talking. I was watching when I didn't hear Clif come up beside me and whispered "if I wanted anything to drink?"

I jump and let out a scream as Bob said, "Cut" and looked at me. Clif said, "Sorry my fault I startled her that's all, won't happen again."

"Ok, from the top boys?"

I was totally lost and in awe of them and I knew I had found my place in the world. Jensen did four more scenes when Bob said, "he could leave."

He came over to me and said, "Thank you that's the most they have worked without pranking each other in a longtime. The jobs yours if you want it you seem to be able to handle them."

"Really Bob?"

"Sure if you want it?"

"Of course I do thank you" and gave him a big hug.

Jensen said, "Thanks man for giving her a job."

"She deserves it with you three," as he smiles at me. "Go on get out of here."

Jared said, "Ackles?" He didn't need to finish as Jensen knew what he was saying as Jared kiss me.

Misha looked at Jensen with a menacing face as Jensen got the idea and I couldn't help but laugh at my two big adopted brothers as Misha hugged me and said, "Good luck Y/N?"

"Thanks Overlord and I love you both for being here."

Then Clif looked as he was told what happened as well and he said, "Right ready to go Y/N? By the way I'm not leaving until your appointment is finished and if someone does something I'm going to kick his ass too."

I smiled as Clif really is becoming a really good friend and protector too and you have got to love him for that.

"Thank you Clif," as I gave him a kiss on the cheek and a quick hug.

We got in the car and he drove us and pulled up out front. He said, "I will be right here when you finish."

I nodded as Jensen looked at the old softie and smiled.

We walked in and we had to wait for about 10 minutes. Daniela was looking at us and said, "Y/N how are you?

"I'm good I got a job today at Jensen's TV show," with huge smile on my face. Jensen had hold of my hand as soon as we sat down and Daniela said, "Jensen how are you? Last time I saw you, you were having a hard time dealing with the session?"

"I'm good now," Jensen answered.

"Y/N have you had any more flashbacks or panic attacks?" She asked.

"I have not had any flashbacks but I've had a panic attack and a almost one," I replied.

"Do you want to tell me what happen to bring them on?" Daniela looked at me as she spoke.

"When Jensen left last week, he actually left me here with no way of getting home," I said.

"How did that make you feel?" She asked.

"I felt alone and lost I was in a strange country and didn't know my way around and had no money. I though he didn't want me that I was too broken and damaged for him."

"So what did you do Y/N?"

"I called a friend to come and pick me up. Then I decided I was going to leave and go back to Australia as Jensen didn't want me. I was at the airport and I was having a panic attack. My friend tried to help but she couldn't get through."

"So how did you come back?"

Jensen said, "I brought her back. I touched her face and she seemed to come back."

"Then what happened?"

"I decided to stay at our friends house but I was in a dark place I got some tablets out."

"What was you feeling Y/N?" Daniela asked.

"I felt like I had no one, alone, lost, broken and most of all damaged."

"So what did you do?"

"I held them in my hand and I opened the lid and looked at them. Then I was hit with imagines of my friends and Jensen. I couldn't do it so I screamed and threw them across the room."

"So you felt all this and you were strong enough to throw them away."

"Yes, I couldn't break their hearts like that. It would destroy them all."

"That is an amazing step in your recovery and it now proves to me and yourself that your getting stronger and you can fight the demons in you head," Daniela said.

"I feel stronger and Jensen and I talked about why he left me and I forgave him but he still needs to earn my trust back.

"That's was good that you both talked about it and you forgave him."

"We promised each other we will always talk about what's going on in our heads," Jensen said. "I don't want to lose Y/N again it almost killed me."

I looked at Daneila and said, "But I did almost have another attack?"

"Yes go on," as she listened attentively.

"We were having a BBQ and my sister asked questions anyway it sent Y/N into an attack. I again stopped it by kissing her. We decided to tell my family and friends the truth and it's seems to be helping Y/N she hasn't had anymore," Jensen said.

"That's good that you wanted to try and stop the attacks and tell about your life. So shall we start today's session?"

I nodded and said "Ok, I'm ready."

"Ok, Jensen do you want to move seats?"

"No, Daniela I promised Y/N I would stay and hold her hand all the way through this."

"Y/N how do you feel about Jensen holding your hand?"

"It comforts me to know he's here with me."

"Ok, then Jensen sit here," as she moved the chair where Jensen was so he was able to hold my hand.

"Thank you Daneila."

"Ok, Y/N take some deep breaths like before and I will count back from 5 when I'm at 1 you will be completely relaxed. Alright 5........deep breaths, 4......that's it relax your legs and arms, 3.....relax your body and the muscles, 2......your eyelids should be heavy now 1.......you should be completely relaxed."

Jensen looked at our hands join and my grip had become lighter. I was still holding it but it wasn't in a hard grip.

Daniela said, "Now Y/N I want you to picture the TV and turn it on. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, I am."

"Good now flick through the stations until you see something you want to tell me about ok."

"Yes," as I flick through the stations I finally stopped on one.

"Good can you tell what you see. Remember you are safe and your watching it on the TV. It can not hurt you alright."

My grip had gotten tighter on Jensen's hand but not painful. "I see me as a little girl. I'm maybe 10 years old I'm at school but my face is bruised and I have a blood nose." Then I flinched as the hit, hit me and I cried out in pain.

Daniela said, "Your in no danger your watching it. Tell me what's happening?"

"There's a group of older kids they are teasing me about my clothes as they are dirty and ripped. They are saying I'm nothing and nobody. Then the older girl hit me in the eye as I took the punch without making a sound. Then she said "there's something wrong with me." Then she kicked me in the stomach and the others join in hitting me. I'm bleeding from a blood nose and my eye is shut close due to the swelling. I never asked them to stop the older girl said, "beg me and I will stop." I didn't as I thought I deserved it."

Jensen had tears flowing down his face as he wipes them away. I had tears also flowing unbidden down my face.

"Then what happened Y/N. Did you get help or asked for help?"

"No, I lied there for about 10 minutes when I made my bruised and battered body move. I stood with the help of the sink as I looked in the mirror."

"What did you see?"

"I saw a pair of eyes that weren't mine as I didn't recognise myself anymore. All I saw was a broken, damaged, worthless nobody. Nobody cared if I was alive or dead so I dragged my broken body home. When I entered the house my Mother saw me and she pulled my hair which was filthy and dirty as she slapped me across the face. She hit me again and again. I was then made to make them tea. I could barely stand but I did it. I made spaghetti as it was the only thing I knew how to make."

"What happened then?"

My grip on Jensen hand got tighter I was crushing his hand. Daniela noticed I was getting agitated so she said, "Y/N listen just take some deep breaths. In........out, In....out, that's it now remember your safe it can't hurt you.."

"My father wanted his dinner and I took it to him with his beer. He saw it was spaghetti and yelled at me and called me a mistake I should never have been born. Your worthless good for nothing mistake as he threw his food and drink at the wall. He then got up and he hit me as I tried to get away he grabbed and twisted my wrist when he grabbed it. I heard a snap as I cried out in pain.

He threw me to the floor as I held my arm in pain. My mother told me to get to bed. So I dragged my body to my room. I climbed on my bed as I tried to find some way to stop the pain in my wrist and the hunger pains in my stomach. My bed had one sheet on it and a very threadbare blanket. I eventually passed out with the pain."

"Alright I'm going to bring you out now and remember what you have seen but it can't hurt you anymore. It's just a memory which can not do you any harm. 5.......4........3.......2 you are really relaxed now and slow breaths, 1......open your eyes and you will feel relaxed and comforted by Jensen."

 

I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was Jensen's beautiful green eyes searching mine. His was glistening with tears as I reached up and wiped them away. I said, "Hey Jay."

He smiled and laughed as he said, "Hey Baby." He bent down and gave me a sweet kiss as his thumb caressed my cheek, not caring if Daniela was in the room. All he wanted to do was give me comfort and support and I love him for it. Daniela cleared her throat and he pulled away but still had his thumb stroking my face in a soothing manner.

Daniela said, "You did well today Y/N and how do you feel?"

"Drained but better now I have one less memory to terrify me. It's also good Jensen is here to, to help me."

"Ok, your doing really well Y/N opening up in our sessions and letting in the memories. We will deal with each memory together so they can't hurt you anymore."

"Thank you Daniela I'm feeling stronger and haven't been this good in a long time. These sessions are helping me just talking about it and letting it go. I'm glad I'm here doing them."

"Ok, so same time next week or do you think you want another one in a couple of days?"

"I think I will try for next week but can I call if I have a memory that's hard to deal with?"

"Of course but remember Jensen is also here to help you if you think you can't get through it."

"I know he has helped me with my panic attacks and I know he would help me if I have another memory."

"I will always be here for you Baby. I hope one day you can trust me again?"

"I will Jensen, I love you."

"I love you too."

"Ok, see my Secretary and she will arrange another appointment and Y/N good luck with your job."

I laughed as I had forgotten I told her, "Thank you, see you next week."

Jensen and I walked out and made the appointment as we walked out the door I turned and looked at Daniela and smiled and she waved to us.

Clif was out of the car as Jensen had his arm around me as we headed for the car. Clif said, "So how did it go?"

I smiled and said, "Really good Clif thanks for asking."

He waved me off as a blushed creeped up his face. We got in the car as Jensen held me all the way home. Clif helped me with my crutches as we headed inside.

I said, "Clif would you like to stay for tea?"

"I would love to but I have to go get Misha and Jared when they finish on set. I will see you both tomorrow."

I hobbled over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Ok, another time then. Drive safe Clif."

Jensen said, "See you tomorrow Clif."

"Bye," he said as he walked out the door.

Jensen said, "You look tired want to have a rest before dinner Baby?"

"Yeah, that would be good," as I grabbed his hand and pulled him along as he picked me up when we reached the stairs.

He whispered in my ear, "I owe you for earlier Baby?"

I looked at him and he eyes were all dark and his voice was all husky. He gently put me on my bed as he climbed on next to me.

His said, "I want to show you everything Baby but we can start off slow?"

I looked at him as he lowered his head and kissed me as our tongues explored each other's mouths. He deepen the kiss as I moaned into it. Then he stops and starts tickling me.

"Jensen," I said laughing and kicking my legs.

"I told you I had to get you from earlier."

"Please stop.......can't breath."

He stops for a second or two and starts again as I break out in another fit of laughter.

He looked at me and said, "Your beautiful when you laugh Y/N."

He finally stops as I gasp for air. He lies down next to me and listens to my breathing as it evens out.

"You did good today Baby, I'm proud of you. It couldn't been easy to remember that pain."

"No, it wasn't but it is helping me. I'm glad you stayed with me Jensen and was still holding my hand."

"Yeah, you almost broken my hand with that grip."

I smiled but I looked at him and I kissed him gently on the lips. It was soft and he deepen it so our tongues explored our mouths which was the hottest thing I ever felt.

He pulled back and said, "Let's get some rest before tea Baby."

I rolled over as he pulled me into his body. I always felt safe and comfort in his arms as he would always be here to protect me.

I closed my eyes as did Jensen as we both slipped into a deep sleep. I dreamt of what my life is going to be like with Jensen. I felt content and happy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your wonderful comments and kudos it's much appreciated. If you wish for me to send you a email when I update please let me know. Just leave a comment and if you don't want your email display put it on a separate comment and I will not post it. Thank you. You are all wonderful for reading my story. 
> 
> Oh I forgot next chapter soon. Might do the chapter with them watching porn? What do you think? Have a bit of fun with it?
> 
> Remember AKF.  
> Secretfurrydragon.


	18. The one with the Readers first convention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader starts her first day on Set and is told that they have a convention on the weekend. She is unsure to begin with no knowing what to expect but they talk her into it. Jensen sings to the Reader and they make it their song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader starts her first day at the set and then is told about the convention. Where she is talked into it. Does all go to play at the convention or does the Reader have a panic attack.
> 
> Warnings: Bath together scene and nudity. Possible coarse language. Having fun, Jensen singing (yes that's a warning because it's Jensen singing), Fluff, nice fan. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated.  
> Thank you for reading my story.

We woke a few hours later and Jensen got us some tea and we ate it in the lounge room in front of the fire. It was nice and cozy as we snuggled into each other as Jensen fed me and I him. It was calm and loving and I really liked our quiet time together.  
He was looking at me with adoringly as he smiles and said in my ear, "Y/N you are so amazingly beautiful and I am so lucky to have you in my life."  
I turned so I could see his eyes as they sparkled with so much love. I moved gently as I kissed him on the lips.

I said, "Jensen I should be saying I'm the lucky one in finding you, Jared, Misha and the wonderful support of all your families. It's given me something I've never had."  
"What Baby?"  
"A family who loves and cares for me. I know I will be loved and safe and protected with you and everyone else including Clif."  
Jensen laughed and said, "Yeah, I've never seen him like that with anybody with us he's usually all business hardass but with you his all soft and protective."  
"What can I say I have that effect on men."  
Jensen laughed and said, "Yep, you sure do and I will prove it." As he kissed me it was a deep kiss and he growled in his throat and I moaned into it.  
I pulled back as he rubbed his nose with mine as I smiled at him. He said, "What do you want to do now?  
"It's nice sitting here in front of the fire. Maybe you could sing to me?"  
"What would you like me to sing?"  
"I don't know anything you know?"  
"Ok, I sing this at a convention not so long ago. I need to get my guitar." I shifted to let him move as he grabs his guitar.   
He started singing "Simple Man."

**Mama told me when I was young**

**Come sit beside me, my only son**

**And listen closely to what I say**

**And if you do this**

**It will help you some sunny day**

**Take your time.........don't live to fast**

**Troubles will come and they will pass**

**Go find a woman and you'll find love**

**And don't forget son**

**There is someone up above.**

**And be a simple kind of man**

**Be something you love and understand**

**Be a simple kid of man**

**Won't you do this for me son**

**If you can?**

 

"Theres more, if you want to hear the rest?"

"Can I Jensen please. You are very good and I really like listening to you sing."

"Sure Baby" with a huge grin on his face.

 

**Forget your lust for the rich man's gold**

**All you need is in your soul**

**And you can do this if you try**

**All that I want for my son**

**is to be satisfied.**

 

**And be a simple kind of man**

**Be something you love and understand**

**Be a simple kind of man**

**Won't you do this for me son**

**If you can?**

 

My eyes never left Jensen's as he sang with what was in his heart. I was thinking this story kind of fit us as a couple. He was amazing playing the guitar like it was second nature and his voice was husky but very sexy as he sang. He was watching the emotions flint across my face as he winks at me and I blush. He truly is a star be it a TV star or a rock star no matter to me he was mine and he would always be Jensen the person who showed me love and saved me. 

 

**Boy, don't you worry......you'll find yourself**

**Follow your heart and nothing else**

**And you can do this if you try**

**All I want for you my son**

**is to be satisfied**

 

**And be a simple kind of man**

**Be something you love and understand**

**Be a simple kind of man**

**Won't you do this for me son**

**Can you do this for me son**

**If you can?**

 

As he finished the last cord on the guitar I clapped and cheered. He got up and bowed and I laughed as he sat back down and kissed me. I said, "Jensen that song kind of suits us as a couple?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well the song was talking about you finding someone to love and follow your heart. Not to rush it and be in an easy relationship which is what we have. We are not rushing it and taking it slow."

"Yeah, I never really thought about the lyrics before. So what you thinking our song maybe?"

"If you want it too be, I like it."

"Ok, Baby we can do that it's our song now."

"Really?"

"Yeah, ever couple should have a song."

"Yeah," as I clapped my hands together. 

We stayed there in front of the fire watching Jensen's favourite DVD's. I didn't mine as I hadn't seen they anyway. My favourite still was the Star Wars trilogy. 

We fell asleep the wee hours in the morning wrapped up in each other as he had me snuggled into him in front of the fire. 

We awoke to the sound of the birds outside as Jensen held me in his arms. It was nice and he said, "Morning Baby ready for your first day at work?"

"Yeah, I'm excited Jensen. I will be doing something that I'll enjoy and I will be with you, Jared and Misha."

He said, "Yeah, better get up and in the shower and you in your bath before Jared and Clif get here."

"Ok, but can we stay just for a few minutes longer?"

He smiles and said, "Sure only a few minutes or we will be later." 

"Ok, Jensen."

We stayed like that for a little while longer when Jensen moved to get up and he helped me up and I sat on the lounge as he got my crutches. I headed for the stairs when he stopped me and gave me a good morning kiss. I melted into the kiss as he held me in his arms and squeezed my waist. It was hot as and left me breathless. 

He looked at me and said, "You right?"

"What, Oh the stairs?"

"No, the kiss."

"Yeah, it just left me breathless as you normally do."

He smirk at my replied and asked, "Do you need help with the stairs. I know you can manage but I like be close to you."

I smiled and said, "If you want to."

He lifted me off my feet and carried me up the stairs. We entered my bathroom as he run the water and said, "How about we both have a bath."

"Ok, Jensen I'll like that."

So we both got undressed as Jensen lifted me in first as he followed and I moved to give him more room. He pulled me on top of his body so my back was against his chest. 

The jets were on and it was lovely and warm as Jensen starts to wash my body. I moaned as it was relaxing me and he was enjoying being this close. I said, "Jensen that's nice."

"Mm I can see you body relaxing."

He continued bathing my body and then washed his own as he helps me out when he is out and put a towel around me. As we head into my room of course my crutches are downstairs so he takes the weight so I don't put any on my knee. 

We get dress and he carries me downstairs and I get my crutches and we make breakfast. I was all chatter this morning about my job and how excited I was. He looked and laughs at my excitement. We eat breakfast and clean up when there's a knock at the door. I go and answer it and I'm lifted off my feet into Jared's arms as he spins me around and puts me down with a big moose grin.

"Morning Princess."

"Morning Jared."

Clif comes in and said, "Morning Y/N."

"Morning Clif," as I hobble over and give him a hug. 

He smiles and said, "You ready for today?"

Jared said, "Today?"

"I start my job today Jared."

"Oh, Yeah you'd be great. How did it go yesterday?" As Jensen walks down the hall and towards us. 

"Good, we are making progress and Jensen held my hand the whole way through my session. He was a great support yesterday. Just what I needed."

"That's good so we don't need to kick his ass?"

"No, you don't," Jensen said, rolling his eyes.

"Ok, we better go or we will be late."

"Where's Misha?" I asked.

"He's not filming today."

"Oh, I'm going to miss him."

"Don't worry I can bet he will be in sometime today he normally does. Right Jared?"

"Yep, always does."

I smiled as we headed out to the SUV. We arrived a short time later when Bob came over and said, "How are you this morning Y/N?"

"I'm good and you?"

"Good too. Jensen, Jared and Clif morning."

"Morning Bob," Jensen, Jared and Clif said one after the other. 

"I need to talk to you all before we begin. We have a convention on this weekend and I was hoping you all could go."

I looked and said, "Me too Bob?"

"Yeah, your still there PA's and still have to keep them in line."

"I'm not sure I'm ready for a convention yet Bob?"

Jensen said, "We will be with you Baby please come."

Clif said, "I will be near and I will keep you safe Y/N."

Jared said, "Hey if you don't he will worry about you the whole weekend."

I smiled as Jensen knew I would be alright I would go stay with Gen until they got back.

I looked them in the eyes and bloody Jared and his famous puppy dog eyes won me over.

"Ok, I'll come."

Bob said, "Great I will make the arrangements. Will you want your own room or will you share Jensen's."

I blushed when Jensen said, "Y/N will share my room Bob."

"Ok, good so you do what you do here but at the convention. Just make sure they are there on time and ready to go."

"Ok, I can manage that."

"Good, if you have any trouble Clif here will sort them out for you."

I nodded as I told them to go change and get ready for there first scene as they both looked at me and smiled as they left.

They both return as they where called to makeup. I watched in totally fascination of how everything worked on set. Clif had my seat ready from yesterday as he stood near by but not to close. 

I watched them in awe as the day progressed I really didn't need to do much at all as Jared and Jensen worked will together. Bob always came over and asked my opinion on different things where it concerned Jensen and Jared and I felt like he respected me when he asked. Clif was forever my shadow. I thought he was so sweet and caring. Jensen, Jared were also nearby if they were not in a scene. I was introduced to Mark Sheppard and Mark what's his name again the one that plays Lucifer I was trying to think. But it didn't matter much as I didn't have a lot to do with them. I did like both Marks they were very kind and asked me questions about working on the set. 

Bob came over and said, "Good job today Y/N oh, Misha has scenes tomorrow are you going to be alright with all three?" when they finished for the night. I said, "Yes, Thank you Bob, see you tomorrow?"

"Ok, you see tomorrow," as he hugged me for the first time. I was feeling like part of the crew now and it was absolutely amazing to feel apart of something. 

Jensen came over and said, "How did it go?"

"Good, I'm still working, he wants me here tomorrow and Misha's working. I thought he might have come in but he didn't did he?"

"No, I didn't see him."

"Oh, well see him tomorrow."

"You ready to go?"

"Yep," as Clif handed me my crutches and I said, "Thank you Clif."

 I smiled as Jared caught up with us. He said, "So, what did Bob say?"

"What, that I'm coming back tomorrow."

"Yeah, I really enjoy seeing you on set Princess."

"But you have to be on your best behaviour tomorrow." He looked at me and then Jensen. Jensen said, "Misha's in tomorrow."

"Oh, I will try promise Princess. We don't want you to lose your job do we."

"No, we don't," Clif said in a menacing voice. Jared said, "Ok, Clif we will behave."

"Good or I will kick both your ass you understand me."

"Geez Clif, I would do anything to hurt Y/N."

"I know but when your around Misha you kind of lose your wits and do dumb stuff."

He laughed and said, "Yeah, I know but I will keep it in check tomorrow while on set ok."

"Ok, that's all we ask right Y/N?"

"Yes, thank you Clif. I appreciate the help."

He looked at the road hiding a wide grin on his face. 

We went home and had something to eat and then we went to bed as I was exhausted after my first day on set. Jensen snuggled into me as we slept soundly. 

So we got up and did our usually routine then Jared, Misha and Clif turned up and we all piled in the SUV. We all arrived at the set and the boys all went to change as I waited patiently for them. They all did their scenes with a occasionally blooper but that's natural and Bob was happy with the scenes they did today. 

We were leaving when Misha came running in looking for the bathroom as Jared had super glued his toilet seat down and he couldn't use it. 

I have to admit it was kind of funny but poor Misha was running around looking for the public bathroom to use. I said, "Jared that's was mean super gluing his toilet," as I tried to hide a laugh.

"Yeah, I know I'm sorry but I had to do something as it was building inside waiting to come out." 

That was it, we all burst out laughing then as Misha returned in the middle of it. He said, "See what treatment I get on set?"

I laughed harder than I ever have before as four of them was in awe. Misha said, "Ok, Jared I will let you off because look at that face. It was worth the humiliation to see her laugh."

"Yep, it sure was you look beautiful Princess."

I stopped laughing as little hiccups replaced the laughter. Jensen said, "Yeah, I know her whole face lights up its incredible to see."

I blushed when Clif said, "You all ready and Y/N thank you?"

"What for?"

"See how amazing you are when you laugh."

"Oh, Clif that's so sweet."

So Clif took us all home and we ate and Jensen said, "Do you want to talk about the convention? I know your worried something is going to happen. I also know you are uncomfortable with large crowds of people. Are you going to be alright?"

"Jay I'm am a little worry I've never been to a convention and there is bound to be lots of people there right."

"Yes, you don't have to come if you feel uncomfortable."

"Jensen I want to try going to this convention and Clif will stay close."

"Ok, but if it becomes to much let Clif know and he will take you back to our hotel room ok."

"Ok, I love you for asking me Jensen how I was feeling about this."

"We were going to be honest with our feelings remember plus I can pretty much read your looks now." 

"Really what's this one tell you?" As I look at him.

"Oh, that ones easy?" 

"Yeah, what do I want?"

He lean over and kissed me on the lips it was soft and he deepen the kiss so our tongues were fighting for dominance as I have become pretty good at kissing Jensen now.

He looked at me when we finished the kiss and said, "Ok, your turn."

As I looked into his eyes I smiled as he wanted me to kiss him this time so I did just that and their was lust also in his eyes. I knew he wanted me but not yet I wasn't ready. 

We when to bed and the rest of the week passed quickly as we flew out for my first convention. I had hold of Jensen's hand that tight he told me to easy up on his hand. I looked down and his hand was white. I apologised and he smiled as I easy of a bit. 

Jared said, "Hey, Princess it's going to be alright. We will be with you and so will Clif."

"I know but what if I have an attack or someone asks about me?"

"If they do we will answer the best we can ok?" Jensen said.

"Look people are going to be curious about you but we know how to almost answer a question without actually answering it."

"Ok, so I have nothing to worry about."

"Nothing at all." Misha said. 

We landed soon after in America. I asked "Where are we Jensen?"

"Seattle we will be here for two days at this convention."

"How do you guys get used to working long hours and then conventions on top of that?"

Jared said, "The fans like you keep us in a job and it's good for us to give back to them. Sure it's time consuming for us but we love it. There is always something new happening or we just do something crazy and they love it. We are here because they will be here." 

"Yeah, and its all in fun for us and we do enjoy ourselves a lot when the audience all get revved up and excited," Jensen said.

"Are you singing Jensen?"

"I don't know Baby you want me too?"

I blushed as Jared and Misha was wondering what was going on. 

"Only if your comfortable with it Jensen."

He winked at me then and smiled. We waited for the car as Clif headed off to get one as we walked through the airport. They were spotted by a group of girls as I stood off to one side as they took pictures with them. The girls were all very excited and asked for their autographs as they talked with them for a few minutes giving them hugs. It was sweet watching them change someone's life just by taking a picture or autograph. Even talking to them makes a difference Jensen was saying. When they finished the girls all said, "Thank you" as we continued to the entrance of the airport. It was warm in Seattle but not hot. 

Clif parked the car and grabbed our bags and then drove us to our hotel. The clerk behind the counter said, "Name please Sir?"

Jensen said, "We have four rooms booked in the name of Bob Singer."

He looked and said, "Oh, yeah here will are. Mr Singer has already paid for your rooms I will get your bags brought up Sir. Here are your room keys. Do you need any help," as he looks at me. 

Jensen said, "No, we are fine thank you."

We all headed for the elevator and pressed our number. We have a floor to ourselves as the hotel was only small. So our floor only had four rooms on it. It was good to, as we all had our privacy. 

Jensen opened our door as I looked at the king size bed and I looked at him.

He said, "You sure your alright with this Baby?"

"Yeah, people know you have a girlfriend right they just don't know it's me."

"Yes, so you want me to tell them about you?"

"Only if you feel comfortable with it and nothing to personal."

"I wouldn't tell them anything personal we try to keep our lives private and look you were with us today and you were alright."

"Yeah, because the girls only had eyes for you, Jared and Misha. I just looked at how excited they were to meet you all."

"You alright with that."

"Of course I am it's good to be in the background I really don't want to be up front."

He smiled as he knew that's what I would say. You hungry we could go get something to eat. Asked Jared, Misha and Clif seen how he won't let you out of his sight."

"What you jealousy of Clif?" 

"No, because I know you love me. Clif he really likes you but I think it's more a daughter thing going on there."

"Yeah, I know it's nice though to have him close by."

"Ok, so shall we go knock on their doors and ask?"

"Sure," as Jensen held me by the waist and knocked on Jared's door. He called out "hang on a minute," as he opened the door he was shirtless. He saw Jensen and I standing there and looked embarrassed by his state of undress.

He said, "Sorry I just getting out the shower and I hadn't fully got dressed."

"Don't hurry on my account," as I looked at his chest and muscles with my eyebrows raised. 

Jensen laughed at Jared's discomfort and I had to giggle too. Jensen said, "It's alright Jared we can wait. We just wanted to know if you want to go out to get something to eat with us?" 

"Yeah, sure is Misha and Clif coming with?"

"We are going to ask them now."

"Ok, give me ten minutes and I will meet you back here."

"Ok," as we moved away he closed the door with red cheeks. 

We moved along the doors and knocked on Misha's he opened right away. He was on the phone to Vicki. "Hey Vicki, Jensen and Y/N are here? Yes ok I will tell them and I will talk to you later? Love you honey. Give the kids a hug for me. Bye."

"He hung and said, "What's up?"

"Just want to know if you want to grab something to eat with us?" I said. 

"Sure, we going now?" 

"We going to go ask Clif and then get Jared and then we are,"Jensen said. 

"Ok, I will just find my wallet and key and there, ready. How you doing on those Y/N?" 

"Better," as we moved day too the last door. I knocked as Clif opened his door the TV was on and he smiled when he saw me. "Are you alright Y/N?"

"Yes Clif, we are just going to get something to eat and thought you might like to join us?"

His face lit up as Jensen and Misha were watching and he said, "Sure I would love too."

"Good, come on then."

He grabbed his key and wallet and shut the door. We all headed back to Jared's room who was waiting for us. 

"Right ready to go?" Jared said. 

We all went down the elevator when Jensen said, "Where too?" 

"I don't mine what we have?" I said.

Jared said, "How about burgers there's a little shop just a short walk from here?"

Misha said, "Y/N you going to be alright with the walk?"

"I'm not sure how far Jared?"

"Maybe two or three blocks away."

Clif said, "Wait here I'll get the car. Y/N's not walking on crutches that distance its too much for her."

I smiled at him and said, "Thanks Dad."

He looked proud of himself when I called him that and went to get the car.

Jensen said, "Did you see his face when you called him Dad?"

"Yep, I'm glad he's here Jensen."

Jared said, "You know you could probably pass as his daughter?"

"Yeah, I know he's a hell of a lot better than my own father. I would be proud for him to be my father."

Misha said, "I have a feeling he would be just as proud your his daughter." 

I had a happy tear slip from my ear as Clif pulls up and he helps me in the car. We drive the three blocks which actually was four to the burger joint. 

We went in and ordered and we all got different burgers as we ate the boys were asked for selfies and autographs as Jensen had hold of my hand under the table. 

We finished the burgers and Jensen said, "Its about time to go to the convention?"

Clif said, "Yes its starts in an hour so I better get you all there on time."

"We don't want me to get fired."

So we all got in and headed to the convention centre where Clif parked in back as we all were given wrist braces to wear to know we were the stars and crew for them. Jensen put it on my wrist. As we walked in they had a green room where they had to wait. Richard and Rob walked in. Jensen introduced me and they both gave me hugs.

Richard said, "So your Y/N, we've heard so much about you. We didn't know you would be here today?"

"It's was last minute as Bob gave me a job. I've only been working for a week. So I'm really nervous about this convention."

Rob said, "We are all nervous our first one but you will be fine. Your not going on stage so you should be good."

Richard said, "You ready boys?"

Jensen said, "Can we organise for a chair for Y/N to sit on?"

Clif said, "I'm already on it."

"Thanks Clif."

So we all walked to the edge of the stage where there was a chair waiting for me and I sat down and Clif took the crutches. 

Richard and Rob went on stage and the noise was deafening. As we watch them as they introduced Jensen, as kisses me quickly and walks on stage. The audience were screaming and whistling as Jensen stands and waits for Jared's intro he kisses my head as he walks on next to Jensen and the room is so loud. 

I said, "Is it always like this Misha?"

"Yes, except when we do solo panels."

Finally Misha was called on stage. As they all keep saying thank you and sending kisses out with their hands. Jensen taps his chest as he bows slightly and then they take there seats.

Jared said, "Thank you all for coming and we love Minneapolis it's a beautiful place to visit."

Everyone had cheered when Jared said that.

Jensen said, "How many first timers here tonight?"

I put my hand up as he turns to look at me and winks at me. He sees Clif standing to one side of me watching everything around him.

Misha said, "So who's got the first question?"

The person said, "Thank you for coming and I really love your show. My question is to Jared and Misha, how are your kids doing?"

"Funny thing you should ask they question," Misha said, "You see we when over Jensen's the other day for a BBQ and my adorable kids" the Jared cuts in "our adorable kids," "oh yeah our adorable kids feel asleep at the table and looked incredibly cute all sleeping in Jensen's bed."

Jensen said, "Yeah they were cute."

"Ok, next question please," Jared said.

"Love your show and my question is for all of you?  Can you tell us how your friend in Australia is doing?"

Jensen said, "Thank you and she is doing really well and is getting better every day."

"She is moving around better on her broken knee and is enjoying being here with us," Jared said.

The person asked, "So Jensen we heard you have a girlfriend is it true? And is it your friend in Australia?"

Jensen looked at me and I nodded my head yes. He smiles at me when the audience noticed Jensen looking at something off stage. He said, "Yes, I do and I love her very much and yes it is our friend in Australia. She amazing and sweet. She's inspires me to be a better person and to be more open. She's the love of my life. Who knew I would find an amazing beautiful Australian to fall in love with. She's my everything."

"We also love her like a little sister as we all have become very close. She has made the trip back with us to Canada so we can support her while she has her broken leg," Misha said.

"We actually have a funny story to tell. When she landed with us my little boy Shep was instantly taken with her. Jensen was jealous as he has some competition for her," Jared said.

"Yeah, I don't know about competition but he is so sweet with his crush on my girl," as he smiles.

The next person asked, "Jensen is she here now?"

"Yes, but she is uncomfortable with coming on stage."

The next question, "Do Gen, Vicki and Jensen's girlfriend get along?"

"Yes they are best friends and its what she needs to have friends who will stick by her," Jared said.

"She is an amazing person who deserves all the happiness we can give her and all the love and support. I will give her all I can as will Jared's family, Misha's family and my own. She is the only one for me," Jensen said as a tears slipped passed his eyes. 

He turned and wiped them as Jared came over and gave him a hug for support. 

"Ok, any questions on the show?" As Misha asked to distract everyone from Jensen. 

Jensen walks off stage for a few minutes and came to me as I held him in my arms. He said, "I'm sorry, it just got to me for a minute."

"Hey, look at me Jensen. We knew there would be questions about me and I think you all handled them well. I'm so proud of you and your the love of my life as well babe."

He wrapped his arm around my waist as he kisses me passionately on the lips. It was soft and tender and I could feel his emotions in this kiss. We he broke away he said, "I love you Baby." 

I said, "I know and I love you too."

He took a deep breath and walked back on stage as Misha and Jared were talking about the pranks Jared has done on Misha.

They both turned and looked at Jensen he was smiling and all business again. The rest of the panel was good as they answered the questions given them. There were no more about me until the last question was asked as like they do they sing last question it's the last question. They asked the person they name and they said, "Hi" and gave her a hug. 

Jared put the mike in front of her face as she asks, "Jensen are you going to marry your girl?"

He smiles and said, "Funny thing you should ask that. I knew the first moment I meet her that we will be married someday. I even gave her a promise ring so she will always know how much I love her and always want her in my life. Yes we are planning to get marry someday." 

They said, "Thank you for coming" to everyone and Richard and Rob shouting Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki and Misha Collins everyone." Everyone was cheering and I was clapping too. They all ran off stage and gave me a hug and kiss. 

I said, "You all were great and it was good."

"You didn't mine about the question?" Jensen looks at me.

"No, it's the truth right."

"Yeah."

"So you told them the truth not the whole truth but what you could."

"God I love you."

"Yep, I know that. So what happens now?"

"We do autographs and photo Ops with people. Do you want to stay and wait or Clif can take you back to the hotel?"

"I'm good, just find me a seat and I will wait for you to finish. Clif will stay with me."

"Will you be alright they all know now that I have a girlfriend I'm madly in love with. That know you're here what if they work out its you? Are you gong to be alright with the crowd."

"If they do I will handle it the best I can. I'll sic Clif onto them. I'm alright so far I think it's because I'm not out there in the crowd."

"Don't worry man I got her covered," Clif said.

"Ok, we will see you later."

"Yep," as he kissed me goodbye. 

I moved slowly on the crutches as Clif walked next to me. We found somewhere to sit where we wouldn't be noticed and away from the main mass of people as Clif asked if I wanted something to eat or drink.

I said, "something to drink would be nice Clif thanks."

"Ok, you'll be alright for a couple of minutes."

"Yes, fine go on," he walks away but kept checking to see if I was alright until he was out of sight. I was looking around and I could see Jensen, Jared and Misha from where I sat. I watched them and didn't heard the person coming up next to me. 

She said, "Excuse me are you Jensen's girlfriend?" I've been watching out for you when I saw Clif leave I thought it must be you."

I stammered, "Yyyyes why?"

"I just wanted to tell you how lucky you are. Jensen is a wonderful man and always makes time for his fans. He spoke to me once when I was upset and he made sure I was alright. I didn't believe all those stories about you. I think your really nice."

"Thank you for your honesty and it's nice to know. If you like I could get Clif to take you to Jensen and he could take photos with you if you don't have an op."

"Nah, it's all good I have my ops soon they doing the higher price ticket holders first. Can I sit with you a bit while I wait if you don't mine."

"No, that's fine so what's your name?"

"I'm Georgia and a very big fan of Supernatural."

"Who's your favourite?"

"I like them all but I like Dean the best."

"Yeah, he is my favourite too even before I met him."

"What's he really like?"

"Basically what you see is what you get. He's all soft and sweet and kind and gentle. He is wonderful and I love him." 

Georgia said, "Yeah, I noticed the look in your eyes when you speak about him."

Clif came back and cleared his throat. He said, "Are you alright?"

I said, "Yes Clif this is Georgia she's waiting for photo ops with the guys." 

"She hasn't done anything to hurt you?"

"Heavens no we were talking and she was telling me Dean's her favourite character on the show."

He looked at the line as we heard the next lot of photo ops called over.

Georgia said, "that's me, nice meeting you and Clif."

"You too Georgia. Let Jensen know you spoke with me he might make it extra special for you."

"Ok, I will bye," as she walks to the line and shows her ticket.

Clif said, "You got to be more careful Y/N. She could have hurt you?"

"Yes, I know but she didn't and she was nice. I can't be scare of every person who approaches me Clif."

"Next time wait until I'm with you please," I saw the worry and pleading in his eyes.

"Sorry Clif I didn't mean to worry you next time I will wait."

He let out the breath he was holding as he hugged me. "Clif," I said, "I'm alright." He held me a bit longer as he wanted to make sure and reassure himself I was fine. "Clif, you can let go now." 

He pulled back and blushed at how he was acting. "Sorry anything happen to you and the boys will kick my ass for letting it." 

"I won't tell if you don't ok."

He nodded as we sat and waited the photo ops took a couple of hours and Jensen came over said, "Hey did you talk to someone named Georgia today?"

 "Yes, why?"

 "She was telling me how nice you were and I was lucky to have you."

"She did, did she and what did you do?"

"I gave her a free photo op with the one she already had. With Jared, Misha and myself."

"Really, thank you Jensen."

"Hey she was nice too you, so I was nice to her." 

"You are wonderful Jensen, so what happens now?"

"We go for awhile and come back for Friday night concert."

"So you are singing?"

"Maybe Baby, Maybe." 

We get up and head back to the hotel. Where we relaxing in our room on the lounge as Jensen held me in his arms. 

He said, "tomorrow there will be more questions about you?"

"I know, just answer like today. You did good but if you want to tell them more that's fine too."

"Not yet Baby. Your still coming to terms with it all and so am I." But he moved me briefly and pulled my promise ring from his pocket. "Will you consider wearing our ring again?"

I looked at him and I knew he wouldn't leave me again so I said, "Yes Jensen I will wear our ring."

"Really, Baby?"

I laughed and said, "Yes Jay I will. I love you and trust you."

He beamed a huge smile as he puts it back on my left finger and kisses it. He looked at me and was so happy his face lit up as I pulled him in for a kiss. 

Tonight the concert and another day at the convention and then back home. It has been exciting so far and I was enjoying myself. We shall see what tomorrow brings and how the panel goes. I looked down at my ring and that's where it belongs and I was never taking it off again. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your wonderful support and comments on my story. This is a labour of love and heartbreak for me. But it's good that it's helping you wonderful people who are reading my story.  
> Yes I thought Jensen has proved himself so I let him give her, her ring back. Will write more on the convention next chapter.  
> I appreciate all comments and Kudos given me it helps me as a writer to know you like my story.  
> Thank you and remember Always Keep Fighting. Until next time will update again soon.


	19. The convention continued.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Convention continues and Jensen sings to the Reader and Jared plays the guitar. The boys get drunk. The Readers relationships get stronger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader feels more comfortable at the convention. The boys get drunk and Jensen sings to the Reader at the convention. The Reader relationship are getting stronger. 
> 
> I'm sorry this update was long I've been having medical issues and been on pain meds which make me drowsy. So I hope this chapter makes sense. If not let me know I will fix it up. 
> 
> I like to thank Spnbaby67 and The thing we write on Tumblr for help with the convention questions and also numerous YouTube panels I watched for the questions. Thank you all for putting them up. I also changed some of what what said. I hope for spnbaby67 questions you like the answers I came up with? 
> 
> Warnings: possible language, nudity, drunkness and Jensen singing, lots of fluff.
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes my own and possibly in a drowsy state. Sorry. 
> 
> Please comments are much appreciated and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

We must have fallen asleep we woke up to Jared knocking on the door saying, "Jensen, Y/N we have to get back to the convention."

I said, "Jensen what's happening?"

"We must have fallen asleep Baby. You ready for the concert?"

"Mm I need to go to the bathroom and throw some water on my face. Let Jared in I'll only be a minute."

"Hang on," he said, as he kisses me and then our ring.

I pick up the crutches and head to the bathroom while Jensen let Jared in and he said, "You ready to go Jensen?"

"No yet Y/N's in the bathroom we must have fallen asleep she be out in a minute."

"Ok, I will go get Clif and Misha while we are waiting for her."

"Ok," Jared left and we could hear him knocking on the doors as Misha opened and said, "I'm coming."

Clif was already walking out his door just as Jared was about to knock. He said, "Jensen and Y/N ready to go?"

"Y/N was in the bathroom she should be when we get back."

I was standing on my crutches leaning into Jensen when they returned. Clif smile and said, "Hey Y/N, Jensen?"

"Hey Clif, you have a nice rest?"

"Yes and did you?"

"Yes, Jensen and I fell asleep its was nice I feel more relaxed and rested now."

Jared said, "That's good because the concert could go late which normally happens and then we normally go out drinking after."

"Yeah, we usually get drunk and make complete ass of ourselves but we have fun," Misha said.

Clif said, "Alright we better get moving or we will be late."

So we head to the elevator where there were some girls waiting out side the hotel so they stopped and did autographs and photos with them and Jared asked, "are you coming tonight?"

They said, "No couldn't afford tickets we hope to be able to make it there one day."

Misha said, "Hope to see you there?"

They all giggled as they walked off as Clif had gone to get the car. We all piled in when Jensen grabbed my left hand and Misha noticed my ring.

"Y/N is that was I think it is?"

"Mm it is?"

Jared and Clif turned around and saw the ring. Jensen said, "Y/N's wearing our ring again. I'm so happy that she's accepted it back."

Misha said, "That's really good Y/N I'm glad for you both."

Jared said, "Wow, congrats to you both and it's nice to see you both happy again."

"Thank you both for your love and support and it would never have happened if you both were here to help us."

Clif looked in the review mirror but didn't say anything he just nodded his head.

We arrived a short time later where we were bustled into the green room and then sent to the stage area. You could hear everyone screaming as Rob's group I think were playing a song. 

Jensen said, "Its Louden Swain playing Rob Benedicts group."

"Ok, he's good and it's very loud."

Jared said, "Yeah, Jensen normally sings with them while they are on stage."

"Are you going to sing Jared?"

"God, no I just play a guitar when I feel comfortable enough to play."

"Misha what about you?"

"Nope can't sing or play I usually just watch and listen."

"Ok, so you both can keep me company then while Jensen's on stage."

Jared said, "Sure we have seats here somewhere where we can see the whole stage."

Clif said, "Y/N are you going to be alright with the stairs they are really steep to climb."

Jensen said, "You can always stay here and watch from here."

The song finished as Rob was talking with Richard I knew they were getting read to introduce Jensen. I said, "Jared and Misha can help me with the stairs."

"Sure we can Princess."

Jensen kissed me and we headed to the place Jared was talking about. We found out seats after Jared decided to carry me up them and we sat with Clif close behind us.

Jensen was called on stage as the room was electrified with excitement and anticipation of what Jensen was going to sing. He was joined on stage with Richard on guitar and Rob on guitar and he's band and Jensen's also on guitar as he said, "Hi everyone, how are you all here in Seattle?"

The audience screams we love you Jensen and he said, "Love you too. Ok so shall we sing some songs?"

The audience screams were so deafening and exciting I couldn't wait to hear Jensen sing with a band behind him. The song started and I knew what it was. 

Jensen said, "This is for the love of my life." As he looks for me in the audience as he sings a Simple Man. I had a tear slip down my face as Jared, Misha and Clif were watching me. Jared put his arm around me as I lean into it as did Misha the other side. 

Clif stood back but close enough incase I needed him. We listened to Jensen's voice it was purely amazing the way he could put his emotions into our song. When he finished he looked straight at me and said, "Love you Baby."

The audience was were clapping and cheering. Jared said, "Y/N do you want something to drink?"

"Yeah, thanks Jared."

"I go with you Jared and help," Misha said.

They both left as Clif sits next me and said, "Y/N." I look at Clif and said, "Yes Clif?"

He said, "I'm proud of you and Jensen for working through your problems and taking his ring back. You belong together and you've become part of our family. I love you like a daughter as I never had any children of my own Y/N and if he ever hurts you again I will kick his ass."

I looked at Clif and said, "Thanks Clif and I'm glad I have you in my life and I never had a love of a father before but if I did I want him to be you. You are amazing and kind and I know you care about me Clif." I leaned over and gave him a hug and a kiss as I said, "Thanks Dad."

He hugged me back as tears slip passed his eyes. He held me for a few minutes more when he pulled away as I wiped his eyes and he looked happy and embarrassed as Jared and Misha came back and saw the tears. I said, "he got something in his eyes I was just checking them for him."

Jared and Misha knew better but didn't say anything and Clif hugged me again and I told him to sit next to me. Jared had brought us all drinks including Clif as we sat and had a drink while waiting for Jensen to sing his next song. 

The music started when Jensen called Jared to the stage. Jared shouted "no way Jensen."

"Everyone give Jared some encouragement" as he looked at me and I said, "Please Jared I would love to see you play?"

"Ok, for you Princess."

He heads over to the stage as they had changed the stage to a few chairs and Jensen sitting in one with another for Jared and Rob. Richard was calling Jared to the stage as the audience were going crazy. Jared walks on shyly as he talks with Jensen. 

"Y/N asked me to do this Jensen, she wants to see me play."

"You have a soft spot for her don't you?"

"Of course Jensen I love her like a sister and she wants to see us both perform together."

"Thanks Baby for getting Jared out here," as he taps his chest by his heart.

They both sat down and the music started as Jensen was watching Jared to make sure he was comfortable. Jensen started singing free fallin while Jared played. It was the most amazing think I have ever seen they were in perfect sync with each other. Jared was incredible on the guitar as he played he kept his head down but he was still amazing. He looked up once at me and I smiled so he kept his head up during the rest of the song. 

"Misha would you look at that they are amazing up there."

"Yeah, they are it's good to see Jared so comfortable too."

Everyone was singing and clapping as Jensen changed the words slightly but no one cared. Everyone was singing along to the song when it finished everyone clapped and cheered and gave Jared a standing ovation. He bowed and Jensen said, "Jared Padalecki everyone."

Jared walked off stage and came back to me and I said, "You were incredible Jared that was amazing to watch you both on stage together. You should do it more often Jared."

He had a smile from ear to ear when Misha said, "It was really good Jared, you and Jensen know how to get the audience going."

"I wouldn't gone up there it if wasn't for you Princess."

"Oh, sh Jared you welcome."

"Love you Princess."

"Love you too Jared and thank you for playing for me. It was wonderful seeing my two favourite people on stage preforming together."

"Anytime Princess anytime."

The music started playing and Jensen started singing Brother. I love this song too and I watched him as his eyes never left mine all through the song. It was ridiculous how talented my boyfriend was and he was letting other people see that. I was so proud of him and Jared for going out of their comfort zone and perform it's good to see them up their smiling and enjoying themselves. 

Jensen finished the song and took a breather while the other stars sang. We were waiting for him after he cleaned up and changed his clothes. We were all sitting there watching the others sing when the time just slipped by. Jensen sang two more songs with the rest of the cast and then it was time to finish. So they all said, "Goodnight thanks for coming. See you all tomorrow."

As we left Jared said, "The guys are going for drinks are you going to come with?"

"I'm not much of a drinker Jared but Jensen can if he wants too."

"You be ok Baby going back to the hotel?"

"Sure I'll be fine, enjoy yourselves you've earned it all of you."

Clif said, "I will take her back to the hotel and make sure she's fine and come back for you all."

"Ok, thanks Clif," Jensen said. He gave me a kiss goodbye and "I will see you soon."

"Ok, goodnight everyone have a good time." 

They all said, "Goodnight" as Jared and Misha gave me a kiss.

I left as Clif and I walked to the car which wasn't far. He drove me back to the hotel and made sure I was settled before he left and told me to lock the door. 

I got ready for bed and was watching TV when I fell asleep. Jensen banged through the door at about 1.30am drunk and smelt of alcohol as he tried to undress. He plops down on the bed and said, "Baby you awake?"

"I wasn't until you came in."

"Sorry Baby I didn't mean to wake you" as he slurs his words.

He lies down next to me and gives me a alcohol breath kiss as he passes out fully clothed. I roll into him as he moves to hold me in his arms even though he is passed out, it's out of instinct. I was finally falling back to sleep when I felt Jensen's hard  shoes as he kicked me in his sleep. I moved down the bed being careful of my knee and pulled his shoes off and undid his jeans and pull them down as well so he is in his boxers and shirt. I knew he was going to have one major hang over in the morning. I snuggled back up to him as he pulled me in close. We both slept until there was a knock on the door.

Jensen groaned as his head was pounding as he tried to open his eyes. I said, "morning Babe how's the head."

"Sh to loud. Oh God don't let me do that again bloody Jared can drink." I got up to see who was at the door it was Clif with Jensen's morning cup of coffee. 

"Morning Clif, that for Jensen?"

"Yes and there's a hot chocloate for you too."

"The rest?"

"Jared and Misha, we need to leave in an hour can you both be ready by then?"

"Sure Clif and thanks," he blushes as he walks away.

"I had left a cutch by the door as I carried the tray with our hot drinks on it to the bed. "Jensen, Clif brought you a coffee to help with the hang over."

"God bless him he's a angel where is it."

"We need to be ready in an hour."

"Ok," as he moaned into this cup of coffee. 

"I need to shower Jensen?" As I took a drink of my hot chocolate. He pulled me down so I was at eye level and kissed me sweetly on the lips.  

"I didn't make an ass of myself last night did I?"

"No, you came home and passed out, no ass making there."

He sighed with relief as he thought he did something but guess he didn't. I said, "Jensen do you want to run the bath for me please?"

"How about we make it a double and it will make us getting ready shorter." 

"Ok, I'm in."

He stumbles over to the bathroom the room is spinning slightly as he turns on the taps. I get up and move towards the bathroom as I start to undress. Jensen then realises that he has only his boxers and shirt on. I said, "You kicked me last night with your shoes so I stripped you."

"Sorry Baby I promise I will never get that drunk again."

"Hey it's ok you deserved to let loose and don't let me spoil all your fun."

He came over and held me in his arms as he said, "You're amazing you know that."

"So I've been told by this gorgeous guy I'm dating."

"Yeah well he will have to fight me for you Baby because I'm not letting you go ever."

"Oh, he will be disappointed when I tell him I'm in love with someone else."

"Oh, well I can't help it I'm irresistible to you."

I slapped his arm and said, "I love you Jensen."

"I love you Baby."

"We better get in the bath before Clif comes back and finds us in a awkward position."

He laughs and then moans as he remembers his headache. When we got out he took some pain killers and got some more coffee. When I saw Jared and Misha they weren't looking any better either. I tried to hold a laugh back but it was hard when the three of them were moaning in unison. 

Clif said, "You better feel better you have a whole day of panels, photo ops and autographs to do."

They groaned when I said, "I will have a supply of coffee and pain killers brought to you throughout the day ok."

The three of them mumbled a thank you. We arrived a short time later al three were still groaning with their hangovers. We walk in when Richard and Rob said, "great night last night guys. You should have seen them knocking the shots back. Jensen at one stage though you were there and was talking to a mannequin. It was funny watching him until we told him it wasn't you."

"Really that would have been funny. I guess you did make an ass of yourself after all Babe."

Jensen groaned and said, "Thanks Rob for telling her what an ass I was."

"It's ok Babe, I still love you."

Richard said, "Ok, ready for the panel?"

Jared said, "Can we keep it down my head hurts."

"Mine too, next time we will drink after we finish the convention."

I laughed at them as they had sunglasses on to hide there eyes and the glare of the lights. 

Rob said, "Ok its time."

We all headed to the stage where I sat where I was yesterday as Richard and Rob went on stage to introduce them. 

"Put your hands together for Jensen Ackles" he looked at me and gave me a quick kiss and said, "don't forget the coffee and pain killers Baby?" As he took his glasses off and headed for the stage.

"I won't love you."

He stumbled on the stage and the audience cheered and clapped him. He flinched at the loud noise of all the audience. It was breathtaking and surreal how many people are there for their panel. It was for me a experience I wouldn't forget and it was awe how everyone reacted to them. 

Richard said, " Jared Padalecki everyone." As Jared also stumbles out and bows.

Rob said, "Misha Collins Everyone."

All three sit down and said, Hi everyone glad you could come." As all three put down their coffees they were holding. 

Jensen said, "It's nice being back here in Seattle," as the audience cheers. 

Jared said, "It is and did anyone go to the concert last night?"

A lot of the audience cheered and shout "Yes."

Misha said, "It was a special night as Jared Padalecki here played on stage for the first time ever."

The room erupted in cheers and whistles as Jared with his hat took a bow. 

Jensen said, "Maybe we could get him to do it again sometime," as he looks at me and winks.

Jared said, "Maybe? First question?"

"Hello, I'm a fan of supernatural and you all do an amazing job on the show." They all said, "Thanks."

"My question is what would be your ideal heaven?"

Misha said, "With them on stage."

Jared said, "With my family."

Jensen said, "Home with my girl," as he looks at me and "thank you for your question."

The audience all ah and oh.

Misha said, "Yes next question?

"Have you ever been able to sit down and actually watch the show or complete season to see what the fans see in you. Why we love and why we respect you all so much? 

Jared said, "Boy that's a good question for me I think it's more the bond we have together on and off screen that you see everyday that what makes us feel the love you have for us. Also we are open with the love with give you guys and you return that love."

Jensen said, "Yeah, I guess Jared's right we did have a screening of an episode a few weeks back and we sat and watch it with the fans of the show who were there. It was amazing to see the different reactions to the episode as these people come up to us and said, "How we have helped them in the struggles and how much they respect the AKF campaigns and how our characters have been through so much and are always their for each other. It gives us a sense of what you all are feeling towards our characters and how we portray them. We have the special bond between us. I mean us the actors and you the fans there hasn't been anything like it in any convention. We love ya all."

Misha said, "I've never watched an episode of supernatural or a season where someone doesn't die or something happens to one of us. It to us feels real especially when you have to build the emotions and then you have a death scene and I know when Jensen died Jared was feeling the emotions of losing a brother. I was feeling the emotions of losing my best friend. It is easy for us to see what you feel as you come to theses conventions and show us. Be it with a hug or a shy smile or just speaking with us. Thank you for the question I hope it answered it?"

"Yes thank you and we love you all too," the person said.

 Jensen said, "Next question?"

"Jared thank you so much for the Always Keep Fighting campaign it has saved my life more than you know. Is there anything that you plan on doing more for AKF or has it closed for now?"

Jared said, "We do have something coming up in a few months once we get it organised and Random Acts is also going to be involved. But we can't say too much just yet but yes keep a look out for it. I hope ya all will support it as it will be for a very good cause." As he looks at me and I smiled as he remembers my Organisation I wanted to set up. 

Jensen said, "Yes," as he notice Jared looking at me. "It will be very close to our hearts so please help support it."

"Random Acts are going to help get this campaign off the ground as it is special for us all."

"Ok thank you," the person said.

Jared said, "Ok next question yes what's your question?"

"You know you are all special right?"

Jared said, "Jensen, Misha and I just actors but people tell us we are in our own world and its awesome because ya all are in that world too."

Jensen said, "Ya all beautiful." As the audience cheers and claps their hands.

Jared said, "People are thanking us for saving them but we didn't do anything. You did it all the love, strength and sacrifice that got you through and we love you all for Always Keep Fighting. You are amazing in our eyes and we always hope to encourage ya all to keep up the fight and stay strong." The audience clapped and Jared said, "Yeah."

Misha said, "Another question?"

"Jensen this is for you. How is your girlfriend adjusting to all this the conventions, the filming and you given your time to complete strangers?"

"She was uncomfortable with the whole convention thing yesterday but today she seems a bit more at ease. With the filming she actually she there with us Bob gave her a job so she is with us on set. The strangers she is good with it all she likes being in the background. But if you ever see her please be nice to her this is all new to her and she deserves the same love you give us." 

"Jensen" the next person asked, "Is she starring in Supernatural?"

"No, she doesn't like the cameras or people knowing who she is. So no she's not starring on Supernatural."

"Jensen you said, at yesterday's panel you want to marry her. When did you realise it?"

"Boy, it was the first moment I looked into her eyes." The audience ah and oh again.

"This is for all of you. When you met Jensen's girlfriend was she in trouble?"

"What do you mean in trouble?" Jensen said.

"Did she have her broken leg or did you all go out for another reason?" The person asked.

Jensen looked at me and I nodded he could tell them.

"No I broken her leg in the bath. We went out because she was in a bad way and needed our help."

Jared said, "Look you have to understand we were in contact with her on the phone and she was having a really rough day and we thought she could use some support."

"So we caught the next plane out and found her in the bath where Jensen accidentally broke her knee. She was fine and singing in it."

"But you all stay a week? Why?" Another person asked.

"It took us that long to convince her to come back to Canada with us. She was unable to cope with a broken leg." Misha said.

"Why didn't she just come straight back?" The same person asked.

"It's because we wanted to stay in Australia for a bit before we came back. So we had a week off looking around Adelaide and having fun," Jensen said. 

Richard changed the subject and said, "Anymore questions for me?"

"Richard as you said before you directed a few episodes in the show recently but I was wondering if Gabriel will becoming back?"

"Right, at the stage their are no plans for the return of Gabriel but I will continue to Director the show for a few episodes this season."

Rob said, "Last question, it's the last question" as Jensen gets up and sings too.

Misha and Jared find someone in the audience and brings her up on stage and they ask her name.

She replies, "Julie."

Jared said, "Hi Julie."

Misha said, "Hi."

As Jensen comes over and said, "Hi Julie your question is?" 

"What's the best thing about working on Supernatural?" Julie said.

Jared said, "Friendships, meeting my wife, family and most of all meeting ya all."

Jensen said, "Well I would say meeting my girlfriend, free haircuts, free clothes, being a role model for ya all, friendships and family but most of all the Impala." I laughed as he winked at me.

Misha said, "Yeah I would have to agree with the friendships, family and the fans are the best thing working on the show. Thank you for watching and keeping us on air."

Rob and Richard "Everyone thank Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki and Misha Collins." They bowed and tapped the chest and sent kisses out to everyone and said, "Thank you we love ya all."

They all came off and Jensen looked completely drained and he came into my arms as I hugged him. 

Jared said, "You did good Jensen answering the questions about Y/N."

"I guess but I tried to get it away from the what you were feeling and planning to do," Jensen said.

"It's ok they are going to find out eventually," I answered.

"Not until you are ready for them to know Y/N," Jared said.

"They will when we set up the Organisation there will be personal questions for me to deal with."

"You don't have to Baby if you don't want to set it up."

"I know it's one of my dreams to help other abused kids out there Jensen."

"Yep you're going to do this and we will help you any way we can," Jensen said.

"Jensen it's important to me and it's also going to help me heal," I said.

Jared said, "You're very brave to do this and we will stand behind you one hundred percent."

Misha said, "So we will have to talk to the CEO of Random Acts and see where you want to go."

"Ok, but not yet.  I'm still getting use to be here and working on the set."

"When you're ready Baby."

"Ok you all have photo ops to do so off you go."

They laughed and said, "Yes Ma'am." As they walked off Clif and I sat where we sat the day before. I was watching them with the people of the photo ops when their was a lady who looked terrified so Jensen pulled her into his arms and whispered something to her. She shook her head as they did the op. She seemed much calmer after whenever it was he said. She moved over to Jared and Jensen nodded at him as he did the same thing. The lady seemed happy too after both photo ops as she walked passed me. She stop and looked at me and said, "You are lucky to have him in your life."

I smiled and said, "Yes I am thank you."

"No, thank you for letting us share him with you." She came over and said, "May I hug you?"

I looked at Clif and he shook his head yes. "Yes of course," she hugged me tight as she whispered "he was very nice to me and I wanted him to know how much I appreciated it." 

We pulled back and I said, "I will tell him for you. Have a good rest of the day."

"You too I hope I get to see you again."

She walks away and I sat back down Jensen was looking my way when the lady was talking to me and then hugged me. He knew I was safe as Clif was standing right next to me. I looked at him and smiled and he smiled back as he resumed his photos.

I had a few other people come over and talk with me and it was good to speak with them and find out why they liked Supernatural and what character they liked. Clif was ever vigilante as he made sure I was safe. Jensen finished his photo ops first and came and sat down next to me.

"How are you Jensen? How's the head?"

"I'm tried but the headaches gone. How are you Baby?" 

"I'm good some of the fans have stopped and talked to me."

"Yeah I saw and I saw Clif get a little closer with each one."

"Jensen man I can't let anything happen to Y/N she's our family."

"Clif was just fine Jensen," as I turned to smile at him.

Jared and Misha came over soon after when Misha said, "Jensen we have cockles pictures to do?"

So they walked off after he gave me a quick kiss and the line was only about 50 people so it should take long. 

 Jared said, "Are you enjoying yourself Princess?"

"Yes, I am really enjoying myself."

"Good it's nice to see you smiling it lights up your whole face." 

We sat there for about a hour talking about different things when Clif said, "It's lunchtime break."

"Ok, thanks Clif."

As Jensen and Misha make their way back to us I said, "It's lunchtime."

"Finally a break" as he collapses on the chair next to me.

I said, "What would you like to eat?"

"Anything and a beer would be good," Jensen said.

Jared said, "Maybe a sandwich or something."

Rob and Richard came over and said, "There's food in the green room for us all."

So we all head there. It was a buffet with salad, sandwiches, and lots of other foods.

Jensen, Jared, Misha and Clif all got a plate as I sat down and waited for them. Jensen looked at me and grabbed a plate for me too. He put on assorted food for me to try. As he stacked his plate and they all came over and we ate. Rob and Richard sat we us also. We talked about different things when Jared came back with drinks for us all. 

It was nice and relaxing just siting and listening to them speaking. They included me into the conversation as well but I enjoyed listened to them laughing and talking. 

When lunch finished they had more photo ops with Jensen and Jared. Then the three of them together. Then they signed autographs and that was it for the day. Jensen pulled me into one of the photo shoots as we had ours done after everyone had finished there's he held me in his arms. Then Jared and Misha joined in and I asked to have one with Clif done. He's face beamed with happiness as we had one down together. It was amazing and the pictures were nice. It was the pictures ever I had done with people I loved and I was going to get them framed and put up in the house. Jensen looked at me and saw the tears and asked "What's wrong?"

"Nothing just happen I've never had pictures done with anybody before it's nice to know you want one done with me."

"Of course I do Baby you are beautiful and amazing. This one I'm going to put by our bed so it's the first thing you see other then me in the morning." 

It was the picture of us together in a hug and one where he's kissing me.

I smiled as they all hugged me in a family hug. We got the photos and headed back to the hotel. We packed our clothes and headed to the airport to catch the plane home. 

I held the pictures close to me as Jensen smiled and said, "I love you."

"I love you too" as he kissed me and held me all the way back to Canada. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes in this chapter. I hope you liked it and thank you for your comments and kudos it's much appreciated.  
> Next chapter will be up as soon as I can. Sorry for any delays now just incase.


	20. On the set of Supernatural

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader has a flashback which lends to a panic attack while Jensen is in wardrobe so Jared, Misha, Bob and Clif help her through it. They all arrive back from Seattle safely and start a new episode of Supernatural.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader has a flashback which lends to a panic attack while Jensen is at wardrobe so Jared, Misha, Bob and Clif have to help the reader through it. They tell Bob the whole story of what happened. 
> 
> Wow I can't believe I'm up to 20 chapters as I was going to finish at chapter 6 and I keep going. I hope you are all enjoying my story. 
> 
> Warnings: panic attack, supportive Jared, Misha, Bob and Clif, panicked Jared, Misha, Bob and Clif, mention of abuse and suicide attempts, lots of angst and love. Sorry if I left some warning out if I did please let me know.  
> I decided to make it hard for all of them to cope with the attack especially Clif and the guys. Hope you like where I have gone in this chapter. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes my own. Will actually correct mistakes one day in the future.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter in my story.

They all arrived safely back in Canada and Gen, Odette and the boys were waiting for Jared. Vicki, Maison and West also were waiting for Misha. Shep saw me and came running up as he stopped in front of me as Jensen picked him up so I could hug him. Meanwhile Jared was hugging Tom and Odette and gave Gen a kiss.

He looked at me and said, "I see my son is more interested in seeing you than his Dad," with a smile.                                                                                                                

Shep said, "Daddy I love you too but I don't see Y/N very much I see you all the time." Jared came over and tickled his son as he squirmed in Jensen's arms.

He said, "You do, do you and I love her too and Uncle Jensen."

"Does Mummy know?" "Of course Mummy knows, Mummy loves her too."                                                              

"Mummy do you love Y/N too?"                                                                                    

"Yes, Shep I do."

"Oh, ok Mummy and Daddy," as Jensen gave Jared his son.

Gen said, "So how did it go?"

I said, "good there were questions about me."

"How did you feel about them?"

"Ok I guess they are going to find out sooner or later that I'm Jensen's girlfriend. But Jensen found it difficult to talk about me."

Jensen said, "I know we agreed if they asked we would tell them but I really didn't want them to ask anything to personal."

Gen noticed the ring then and said, "I see you worked out a lot while you were gone?" Pointing to our ring.

"Yeah, I did it’s good to have it back on. I do love Jensen a lot Gen."

"I know and he loves you," as she gives me a hug.

Jensen said, "Yep sure do Baby," as he kisses me.

Vicki comes over and said, "it's good your back and you look incredible and happy."

"I am happy haven't never been this happy before. It's a little overwhelming but in a good way."

Clif said, "Ok shall we get going on we going to stand here and talk all day."

We laughed at him as he smiles and I said, "Alright we are coming."

He drove Jensen and I home after we all said our goodbyes.

Jensen said, "Clif see you tomorrow."

He said, "Yes, when I pick you up 8am start tomorrow. I should have told Jared."

"Thanks Clif for the whole weekend," as I gave him a hug.

"You’re welcome Y/N, bye." "Bye Clif."

He leaves and Jensen and I go inside the house. It's nice being back in familiar surroundings and I do enjoy the smell of the apple and orange trees it is comforting. We went to sit on the lounge and I just took it all in the peace and quiet. Jensen's calmness and his steady breathing he was my home.

He said, "What are you thinking?"

"How peaceful it is here and the smell it's home to me. You as well but it's the house itself it's the first time I've had a loving home."

Jensen picked up the pictures and moved some he had up and pull the one of all of us on the mantel above the fireplace. It looked good sitting there. The ones with Jared and Misha he put on the shelves so I could see them.

"What do you think?"

"They look incredible. Thank you for putting them there it's good to see what I have in my life and they are going out be a part of it."

"They will always be a part of your life now for as long as you need us Baby."

"I knew it would be good to have your support you were right when you said, "you all would be good support and you have. Even after I cut my wrist and was going to leave."

"Hey, that's in the pass we only look to the future now." I had my wrist unbandaged as the stitches had dissolved.

He kisses my wrist and said, "You will always be loved and safe Baby."

"I know I just wanted to let you know how comfortable I am in our home and with you Jensen."

He gently grabs my chin as he rubs his finger along my face and kisses my lips it a slow kiss to begin with until he deepens it as our tongues touched and explored each other's mouth. It was the best thing about kissing Jensen he knew how to make a kiss special be it just a quick kiss to a deep kiss. He always left me breathless after and wanting more.

He pulls me down onto his chest as he holds me. "You hungry I can make us something to eat?"

"Can we get something brought in I like seating with you like this."

"Ok, what would you like?"

"I don't know?"

"We will work it out later?" 

We sit there for maybe another hour before our tummies growled with hunger pains.

He said, "Ok that's a sign what do you want to eat?"                                                              

I giggled as stomachs made a loud noise. I said, "Maybe pizza or Chinese or whatever you want?"

"How about we have pizza for something different?"

"Ok can we get half Hawaii and bacon and cheese pizza?"

"Anything you want Baby."

"Ok you want me to call or will you."

"I will Baby you rest you look tired."

"I am a bit and it's nice sitting here."

He moved to get the phone to call out for pizza. He got the pizza I wanted and a supreme for him.

He came back and sat down and pulled back me into his chest and said, "They will be half hour to 45 minutes."

I shook my head as he said, "Looking forward to work tomorrow?"

"Yeah I am actually it's nice to be a part of something you love doing. I know I will love it too. I've watched all the seasons and I have enjoyed all of them but my favour was when you were Demon Dean and the ones where you all show your feelings like when you have an emotional scene and the single tear falls down your face. I just want to hug you so much it hurts."

"Hey, I'm here now and you can hug me all you want to and I love it when you do."

"I know and I am glad I can do it in person now and not scream at my TV wanting for someone to hug you."

He laughed and said, "You did that huh."

I blushed and said, "Yeah all the time."

"I'm shocked at you no, you would do that?"

"Sorry but I did each and every time."

He hugged me then and said, "I'm glad I have you there now with an emotional scene and you can give me a hug."

"Always Jay."

There was a knock the door and Jensen answered the door and the pizza man was standing there. He said, "Your Jensen Ackles may I please have a photo with you?"

"Sure," as he stands there for the photo and he gives the guy the money. He said, "Thanks man and here's your change."

"Keep it and your welcome."

"Thanks man have a good night."

"You too bye now."

"Bye," as he stumbles down the stairs.

Jensen waited before turning the light off as he walked into the lounge room with the pizza. 

He said, "Pizza's here."

"Hm smells nice."

"I'll get us some drinks."

"Ok" as he passed me the pizza's and I opened the Hawaii and bacon and cheese. 

I was about to take a piece when wait a second.

"What, what wrong Jensen?"

He smiled and said, "Nothing I just want to do this."

As he put our drinks down he picked up a piece of pizza and held it to my mouth as I took a bite and then he took some. 

"Hm that's nice," I said, as some of the cheese was fallen off the piece we were eating. We continued to feed each other pizza as he licked his lips boy was it sexy as.

I had enough after two slices of Hawaii and he ate almost all his pizza. He looked at me when I burped after have a drink. We both laughed and he said, "I see you enjoyed it."

"Yes, it was very nice."

We closed the pizza boxes up and Jensen took them out to the kitchen and put them in the fridge.

I was curled up on the lounge when Jensen found me asleep. He gently lifts me and carries me to our room and lies me down. He takes off my shoes and put me in my night shirt which he smiles when he sees I'm still sleeping he his shirt he gave me. He thought I will have to give me another shirt to wear to bed soon. 

He pulled his pants and shirt off and climbs in next to me. I said, "Jensen."

"Yeah Baby, go back to sleep."

I roll over to see him looking at me and I softly kiss him on the lips. As he kisses me back with such intensity that it left me breathless.

"I love you and Jensen thank you for everything you have given me."

"I love you but no thanks needed you have given me so much in return Baby."

"Jensen...."

He knew what I was trying to say and he kissed my lips again and said, "Get some sleep we both have a busy day tomorrow."

As I rolled back and he pulled me into the curve of his strong body as I knew it so well. I felt myself drifting off when my breathing even out and I was asleep. Jensen was awake for a little while just thinking how lucky he is to have me in his life. He smiled as he knew how much he loves me. 

The next morning, I woke up before Jensen and I was looking at his peaceful relaxed face. He was smiling in his sleep as I rubbed my hand down his cheek. He grabs my hand and kisses the palm and open his incredible green eyes and said, "Morning Baby, sleep well?"

"Morning Jay, I did and you?"

"Like a log and it nice to see you with a smile."

"I'm excited about today and watching you film. I know Bob probably have lots of questions about the convention but I'm glad I get to spend the day with you."

"Me too Baby me too."

"We better get up did Clif said, "8am start?"

"Yeah it only 6.30am we can stay a few more minutes."

"We need to shower and have breakfast."

"Ok, ok we will get up but first" as he rolls over on to me slowly and kisses me good morning.

I’m pulled back and said, "Keep kissing me like that and we won't be going anywhere Jay."

He laughed and said, "That's the plan."

"Jensen, I really love that you want to stay in bed with me but I really want to do well at this job."

"I know and I'm sorry I should have been more supportive of you."

"No, it's fine really but we need to get up and ready ok, we will stay in bed another day together," as I winked at him.

He growled low in his throat and said, "You can count on it."

We both got up and did our usually bathing routine and got dress. Then we both went downstairs where Jensen had to carry me down the stairs as my crutches were down here. He went to grab them and gave them to me. As we made our way into the kitchen. 

We made breakfast as we chatted about the day ahead and how will we eat lunch together. When there was a knock on the door and Clif was standing there with Jared and Misha.

Clif said,” You both ready we are running a little late thanks to Padalecki," as he rolls his eyes as I guess Jared is never on time. 

"Yep I'm ready to go," as they each gave me a kiss and a good morning.

"Jensen, you ready to go?"

"Yes, let’s go before we are any later."

So, we all get in the SVU and arrive a short time later. As predicted Bob asked about the convention and then told me I did a great job. 

We were getting ready to do a scene when I took my seat and Clif was close behind me. I had told the guys to go to wardrobe and get there gear to change into. 

Bob said, "Alright action."

It was an easy scene with a lot of dialogue which Jensen stuffed once and Misha was trying to get through without laughing at Jared's face pulling. 

Bob looked at me and I nodded as I hobbled over and said, "Hey stop Jared Bob is getting annoyed and was looking at me to stop it. I don't want to lose my job Jared please."

"I'm sorry Princess it's just so easy to make him laugh."

"Yes, it is but come on Jared, Y/N really likes this job and I know Clif" who was shooting daggers at them "will kick our asses if we keep it up."

"You don't want Clif to kick our asses Jared," Jensen said.

" Ok, I'll be good Princess."

" Thank you and Misha?"

 "Yes, I will behave."

Jensen came over and whisper in my ear, "sorry Baby forgot to warn them for you." 

"Its ok Bob needs to see me deal with this so he is," as Jensen kissed me quickly.

"Ok, they ready Bob."

He nodded as they did the scene again perfect as I sat and watched. When they finished the scene they have to practice the fight scene but Jensen was having a wardrobe malfunction so we sent him to wardrobe to get it fixed. He looked at me as he left and gave me a huge smile.

Bob said, "Ok Jared and Misha lets go through the fight scene."

Thet both got them self ready with the extras that were on set when I was watching but I wasn't really seeing what was happening. I was so still Clif came around and looked and said, "Y/N you.....?" and stopped when he saw my eyes were unfocused and I flinched. He said, "Y/N, baby  girl look at me please," in a pleading voice. 

I was seeing my father hitting me and couldn't hear Clif as I flinched again and I cried out "no please don't hurt me." As my knuckles were going white gripping the chair.

Jared and Misha both looked over to me and saw Clif was bent down in front of me with tears flowing down his face. They both came running over with Bob close behind.

Jared said, "Clif what happened?"

"She was watching you both doing the scene and she went unnaturally still and I came around to check her and she was like this. What's wrong with her Jared? Please help her?"

Misha said, "Jared she's not breathing well either?"

"She's having a flashback and a panic attack. Misha grab her hand and rub gently."

Misha picked up my hand and did what Jared said.

Bob said, "Who normally helps her when she has an attack?"

"Jensen usually brings her out of it but his at wardrobe and might be to late. We will have to bring her back."

"But how Jared," Misha asked.

Jared picked up my hand and rubbed gently as he spoke softly to me. "Princess can you hear me I want you to breath with me ok" as he puts my hand on his chest and said, " alright in.......out.......in.......out. Come on Princess you can do this I know you can?" As his voice breaks on a sob.

Misha said, "Minion this is your Overlord here I need you to follow my voice." He also put my hand on his chest and said, "Alright minion breath in.......out.......in......out." Misha looked and knew it wasn't helping me he had silent tears falling down his face. 

Still no response Clif said, "Maybe I should go get Jensen?"

Bob said, "Go on Clif if he's the only one who can get her back."

I screamed and flinched as I said, "Please don't hit me Dad I'll be good."

Jared said, " Your safe Princess no ones here will hurt you."

Bob looked astounded by the fear on my face and the tears flowing down them.

Jared said, "How did Jensen get her back Misha last time?"

"He touched her face it was his touch Jared."

"Ok, here goes,"  Jared touched my face as he rubbed his thumb down my cheek and said, " It's ok Princess we are here for you, your safe you can come back please. We need you, we love you." 

I moved slightly at the touch as I could feel a hand on my face it wasn't Jensen's but it felt familiar. I took some deep breaths as Misha said, "That's it Y/N deep breaths" as I felt him rubbing my hand.

My eyes started to focus as the tears were still falling and I looked at Jared and said, "Jared," and collapsed in his arms. Jensen came running in with Clif who had wiped his eyes and said, "What happened Jared, Misha?"

Misha said, "She had a flashback and a panic attack."

"Then she passed out Jensen," Jared said.

He still held me in his arms as he carried me to Jensen's trailer and laid me gently on the bed.

Bob said, "Jensen does this happen often?"

"No not unless something triggers it? What were you doing?"

"We were practicing the fight scene and we were being fake hit."

"Jesus I should have realised it was the fight scenes."

Jared said, "She was screaming about her father hitting her."

Bob said, "Shit Jensen she reacted over a fight scene?"

"Look Bob we didn't tell you everything about her. She was physically and mentally abused by her parents and the kids at her school. She tried to do commit suicide when it all became too much. She has been seeing a therapist but sometimes something triggers a memory and she kind of shuts down and goes into the dark place in her mind. So far we have been able to get her back by touching her face but I'm scared one day she might not come back."

Jared said, "She will always come back Jensen she loves you."

"Yeah but is it strong enough to keep her here will me. I can't lose her Jared."

Bob said, "When she wakes up you both go home. I think I will call it a day. I think we are all pretty shaken by what has happened to her."

Clif looked absolutely exhausted. Jared and Misha were also shaken too but they had seen it happen before but never really dealt with an attack.

"Thanks Jared and Misha for bringing her back to me."

"We are just glad she listened and came back. She had us all worried when we couldn't reach her."

Jensen lied next to me and said, "Hey Baby your safe. I'm here as is Jared, Misha, Clif and Bob. I love you," as he bends down and kisses me. 

I kiss him back as I open my eyes. We pulled away and said, "What happen Jensen?"

"You had a flashback and a panic attack. Jared and Misha brought you back."

"I don't remember all I know is I feel really tired." I turned to see Jared sitting on the bed next to me as Misha stood near by. 

"Thank you for being there for me Jared and Misha."

Bob said, "You ok, Y/N? I've called it a day you go home and rest and see you in a coupe of days ok. You take care of her Jensen she my best PA I have."

"Ok, thanks Bob."

"I will Bob."

Clif looked upset still, as he moved over so I couldn't see him. I looked around and asked, "where's Clif?"

"I'm here Y/N," as he step out of the shadows and I saw the sadness in his eyes as I motioned him over. I tapped the bed as I sat up and said, "I'm so sorry I frighten you Clif but thank you for being there for me." 

"I didn't do much except get Jensen by that time Jared and Misha had gotten through to you."

"You did a lot Clif you stayed with me when the attack was happening that could've been easy for you."

"No, it wasn't Y/N. I'm glad your alright now though."

"Come here Clif," he moved closer as I gave him a hug and a kiss as he hugged me tight to him. He held me for along time before he was comfortable enough to let go. Jensen grabbed his shoulder for some support. Jared and Misha was patting him on the back.

He pulled away and dried his eyes and said, "I care for you too Baby girl."

I smiled at the nickname and said, "I care for you Clif."

Clif got up and said, "I will go get the car," as he left.

Jensen said, "I think you scared him Baby."

"Yeah I know I will try to make him feel better. Jared and Misha are you both alright?"

Jared looked at me and burst into tears as he came over and gave me a hug.

When he calmed down he said, "I thought we were going to lose you Princess. I know how Jensen feels now when you have an attack. Fuck it was hard watching your pain and not know what to do to help you."

"I'm so sorry I put you both threw that and you found away to bring me back I think you were incredible and courageous to help me like that. I love you both for being there and supporting me."

I motioned for Misha to come over as I hugged them both until they were settled and calm. Misha held my hand as I pulled away as Jared sat there not wanting to let me out of his sight. 

"I'm tired can we go home Jensen?"

"Sure Baby Clif should be outside with the car."

"What about my crutches Jensen?"

"I will run and get them for you," Jared said.

"Thanks Jared," as he finally felt it was time to let go of my hand. He gave me another brief hug and went to get my crutches.

"Jensen I'm not sure Jared is alright."

"It's ok he will talk with Gen about it she will help him."

"I am so sorry I put you all through this I know it's not easy seeing me like that."

"As long as your alright Y/N we can get through this together give each other support. Now that Bob knows everything as well he will also be understanding and another support for us all," Misha said.

"What must he think of me? I'm shocked he didn't fire me."

"Why because you had an attack?" Jensen answered.

"Yes and putting you all though this."

"He was more worried you were ok than the attack itself. Yes it scared him too and Clif but they were going to see one sooner or later and now they all know how to handle one when it happens. So they can help you if I'm not around." Jensen said.

"We are family and family help each other not throw them away because something gets to hard to deal with. No we support each other and be there no matter what," Misha said.

A tear slipped down my face as Jared and Clif walked into Jensen's trailer. 

"Here Princess, you alright to walk?"

"I don't know Jared?"

I got up and stumbled a bit so Jensen lifted me into his arms as we all walked out to the car. 

He put me in the back as he climbed in and held me tight in his arms. Misha, Jared and Clif kept checking to see if I was ok.

Jensen carried me inside the house as Jared, Misha and Clif followed us. Jared carried my crutches as Jensen put me on the lounge. 

Jared kneeled down and said, "I love you Y/N," as he hugged me.

"I know see you tomorrow. I love you too."

"Yep see you tomorrow Princess."

Misha came over next and just hugged me as Jensen watched. I whispered, "I'm going to be ok Misha. I love you too."

"I know but I just need to hold you. I love you."

As he pulls away and Clif sat down on the lounge as Jensen, Jared and Misha left and went in the kitchen.

Clif looks at me with sad eyes and I said, "Clif you know you have a special place in my heart. Your the Dad I never had I was wodering if you would mine if I could come to you about Dad things?"

He tried to talk when he got all choked up with emotions and said, "I would like that Baby girl very much. Thank you for including me in your life too."

"Hey we are all a family and we should take care of each other. Are you going to be alright Clif or would you like to stay here the night with us?"

"No, I'm good I know your alright but I will probably ring three or four times tonight."

I laughed and said, "I was expecting it from Jared and Misha too. I love you Clif."

"I love you too Baby girl," as he hugged me and I wiped his tears. We held each other until Jensen and the others came back in. He pulled away and nodded his head. I gave him a reassuring smile and he relaxed a little.

They each gave me another hug before they all left and Jensen reassured them he would look after me.

Jensen finally came and sat with me and said, "how you feeling Baby?"

"Tired and emotionally drained."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you today?"

"It's ok Jay you couldn't help it, you were at wardrobe. Jared and Misha did ok and brought me back."

"I think they will call all night to check on you."

"Yep I know they will and I love them for it. I hope Jared and Misha is going to be alright. But I worried about Clif he took it so hard. They all did but Clif more so."

"Yeah I've never seen him that distressed when he came and got me he looked like he was in shock. I got him to calm down and he told me. I think he thinks of you as his daughter Baby and it hurt him to see you in so much pain and he couldn't do anything to help you. I know I felt that way when you had your first attack. I was treading on territory I didn't know but I got you back. I will always get you back."

"Jensen what if it doesn't work one day and you don't?"

"I hope Daneila can help you before that ever happens Baby."

"Yeah, I guess we should make an appointment to see her too now I've had another attack."

"When's your next appointment Baby?"

"On Thursday why?"

"I think we should keep that appointment and see how you go if it get bad again we will go earlier."

"Ok, but what if I have another one?"

"I think I know what caused this attack?"

"What Jay?"

"They were doing a fight scene and you kind of zoned out Clif was saying and then you had your attack."

"So you think I shouldn't be there when you have fight scenes?"

"Just until Daniela can sort them out so you don't have anymore attacks."

"Ok, Bob's given me the next few days off so you will film them while I'm gone."

"He gave us all a few days off due to the shock we all went through including himself."

"So we go back Thursday and I have my appointment with Daniela."

"I will ask Bob for more time off he will understand now he saw what happens during an attack."

"Jensen I'm glad we have the friends we do in our lives and I'm glad you got me to come with you. Who knows what would have happened if I had an attack at home on my own?"

"You safe Baby and we will make sure your always safe."

"I know. Jensen I'm tired can I go and have a sleep."

"Sure Baby," as he picks me up and carries me upstairs and I get myself into bed and he kisses me.

"I'll be right back Baby I have to get the phone."

"Ok love you."

"Love you too," he walks out and down stairs where he sits in the lounge and lets the tears fall. He cried for what seemed like forever as he let all his emotions he was feeling out. He was thinking about everything that happened today and losing me if I don't come back from an attack. It was heartbreaking for him to see me so emotionally drained and tired. 

He sat there for another few minutes and wiped his eyes when his phone rang. He picked it up and it was Jared.

"Hey Jensen, how is she doing?"

'"She's asleep at the moment Jared but she's good," Jared noticed the hitch in Jensen's voice. 

"How are you Jensen?"

"I'm good Jared."

"No your not, tell me what's going on?"

"I guess my emotions caught up with me and I didn't want Y/N to see."

"You know she will be alright Jensen," saying to reassure himself too.

"I know I was just thinking about what ifs."

"Don't Jensen they are no what ifs she will always come back to you."

"Yeah, how are you Jared?" Changing the subject.

"I spoke with Gen and she reassured me she would be fine. Gen would like to see her and have a talk with her and see if she's alright."

"That's fine come over tomorrow. I think Clif will be over here first thing tomorrow too. Misha might be later but I can guarantee he will be over too."

"Ok, Jensen you sure your alright?"

"Yeah man all good now. Thanks for ringing Jared. I better go check on her and see if she's asleep."

"Bye Jensen."

"Bye Jared."

As he hung up the phone and took it upstairs with him he comes in and sits on the bed and just looks at me. I look so peaceful and calm as I slept. He took of his shoes and jeans and climbed in next to me. He wrapped me in his arms as he put the phone next to the bed. He soon fell asleep also tired from crying down stairs all he knew he had to be strong and support me. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter and it made sense. Thank you for your wonderful comments and kudos. Next chapter up soon?  
> I was thinking maybe a fun day out for everyone maybe the Austin Zoo as they promised the Reader they would take her. With the Padalecki's, the Collins, Clif and Jensen. What do you think lighten it up a bit? Let me know what you think or have any other ideas you would like to see? Thanks. 
> 
>  
> 
> Remember to Always Keep Fighting.


	21. Austin Zoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They all had a relaxing day at the zoo. The Reader asked Gen some things about sex and having children on the plane. Jensen shows the Reader his house in Austin. The Reader is a little overwhelmed with it all but she's happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader and everyone goes to the zoo for the day. Jensen shows her his house in Austin. She feels overwhelmed with it all but is happy.  
> Jensen is supportive as is everyone else. Gen and the Reader talk about sex and babies.
> 
> Warnings: Maybe language and a mention of suicide. Maybe the readers overwhelmed and anxious. Shelf doubt that they will stay after the attack. Sorry if I left any out. 
> 
> This is a long chapter sorry I kind of got carried away. Plus I added animals that were not in the Austin zoo for this story. So sorry I took so long to post but I've been sleeping a lot with the pain mess and just in general due to health issues. Thank you all for being patience with me. Very much appreciated.
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own. Will read tomorrow and fix up any mistakes to tired now as it late here wanted to finish and post for all you wonderful people to read. I hope you enjoy this extra long chapter. 
> 
> Comments always appreciated.   
> AKF

As we thought Jared, Misha and Clif rang at varies times during the night as Jensen asnswered them all. I woke a couple of times when Jensen was telling Misha and Clif I was fine but tired.

The calls finally stop at around 11pm and we settled into sleep I was still very tired and drained from the attack but I did manage to stay awake for some food Jensen had send out for. I remember eating something I think it was Chinese. I soon fell asleep after as Jensen cuddled me.

The next morning we were not wrong at all. Clif was at our door at 8am knocking when Jensen went to answer it.

"Hey man what are you doing here so early Clif?"

"Sorry Jensen but I had to make sure Y/N was alright?"

"She's still asleep Clif can you hang on a minute and I will see if she's awake?"

"Ok I will go and make the coffee for you."

"Ok thanks man."

Jensen ran up the stairs as he saw I was still asleep so he came down and said, "she's still asleep Clif."

"Oh how was she last night Jensen?"

"Clif she's fine really I know her attack freaked you out but she's fine. She sees her therapist on Thursday and she will help with whatever brought this attack on."

"You said, "It was the fight scene, what if it's something else Jensen?"

"We won't know until Thursday so stop worrying Clif."

"Ok, but it's hard Jensen I care about her like I do you, Jared and Misha and their families. You're all I have you're my family."  
Jensen tapped Clif on the shoulder and said, "I know Clif and we love you too like family."

He nodded as he wiped his eyes from the unshed tears. Jensen said, "how about that coffee?"

"Yep sounds good Jensen."

Jensen poured a cup for the both of them as Clif sat down and said, "So what are we going to do the next few days?"

"I was thinking of going home to Austin and show Y/N the zoo we promised her in Australia, we would show her all the zoos in America."

"Does she like zoos? You know San Diego has the largest zoo in the world, you could take her their one day?"

"Yes she had never been to one before we took her in Adelaide but we told her we would go to them all one day. Also I haven't told her about our home in Austin yet either I was going to wait until hitus but I really would like her to see our house."

"She will love it there Jensen as long as your with her she will love anywhere."

"I know but this will be our home and she's only just getting used of this house. I don't want to upset her by putting to much on her at the moment."

"I can understand that Jensen but she's doing good here and she's made progress."

"Yeah that's the thing I don't want to destroy the progress she's made by moving her to Austin to soon."

"Why dont you ask her what she wants to do?"

"Yeah I guess I could but I really would like to surprise her."

"Ok do it after you show her the house?"

"Yeah I might."

Then there was another knock on the door and Jensen said, "I can bet that's Jared, Gen and family?"

There was a man standing there Jensen didn't know who he was. He said, "can I help you?"

"Yeah I'm looking for Y/N Y/L/N I was told she lives here?"

"Yes she does I'm her partner how can I help you?"

"I have her passport here for her."

"Oh right, is it ok I sign for it?"

"Yeah I don't see why not."

"Thank you just hold on a minute. Clif you got some money for a tip?"

Clif pulls out a twenty and Jensen takes it and gives it to the man.

He said, "Thank you Sir."

"No worries have a good day."

"You too Sir, bye now."

"Bye and thanks."

He walks in with the packet as he rest it on the kitchen bench.

Clif said, "What that?"

"Y/N's passport it finally came."

"She will be happy that she has it now."

"Yeah but I have to get her a work visa now so she can work here legally."

"Shouldn't be a problem should it."

"No I don't think so but you never know and I can't have her arrested and deported back to Australia. She wouldn't survive and I wouldn't leave her."

"Maybe get her therapist to write a letter to help Y/N get it."

"Yeah I might ask her thanks Clif."

There was a other knock at the door and Jensen walks and opens it. Jared, Gen had Odette in her arms and the boys run in.

"Hey boys you have to be quite Y/N's still asleep."

Jared said, "she's ok Jensen?"

"Yeah just exhausted with the attack she will wake up soon."

Gen said, "do you mine if I go up and see if she's alright."

"Sure Gen she would love to see you," as she gives Odette to her Dad to hold.

Jensen said, "Can I hold her Jared?"

"Sure Jensen," as he puts his daughter in Jensen's arms.

Jensen looks down at her and he said, "Your a beautiful girl Odette and one day I will have one like you and Y/N will be so taken with he or she I won't be able to stand being away from them."

"Jensen you sure your alright?"

"Yeah Jared I'm good just thinking of the future with Y/N."

"That's good your looking to the future I know you both make wonderful parents."

Jensen shook his head as he looks at Odette.

Meanwhile Gen opens my bedroom door and walks in softly as I was still alseep when Gen gently rubs my arm "Y/N are you awake?"

I moaned and said, "No I'm asleep still Gen."

"Sorry if I woke you."

"No you didn't I've been awake for a little while I was just lying here thinking about Jensen and my life?"

"What did you come up with?"

"How amazing it's been since Jensen, Jared and Misha came into my life. I don't know what would have happen to me if they hadn't. I probably would have ended my life if they hadn't call."

"I glad you came back with them I know Jared was worried about you and wanted to help you as much as he can."

"I know they all were and I'm glad they talked me into it. I have an amazing network of friends and great support and a best friend I've never really had before."

As a tears slip down my face and Gen said, "How are you? Jared told me about yesterday about the attack. I know you scared him and he was freaked out when he came home. I held him for the longest time as the boys were worried about their Dad so they held him too. He eventually calmed down and told me what happened."

"I'm so sorry Gen," as I wiped the tears away. "I knew I'll freaked everyone out as well as Bob but poor Clif he was as pale as I was. Do you know if he's alright?"

"He's downstairs with Jared, Jensen and the boys. When I left Jared was holding Odette talking to them both."

"Oh how do I face everyone now they have seen an attack. What if they push me away Gen. I couldn't bare it."

"They will understand Y/N they may have questions but they all will understand."

"What if Bob fires me because of this? I haven't even thought of that."

"He won't if he did I know three actors and a bodyguard who will fight for you."

I smiled as I knew they would too.

"I guess I should get up and have a bath."

"Do you need any help with the bath?"

"Jensen normally helps me."

"Ok you going to be alright and I will go get Jensen for you."

"Yes I'll be fine and Gen I love you."

"I love you too Y/N," as she gives me a hug.

She walks out to find Jensen he was still holding Odette as he was talking with Jared and Clif about today.

"How about we go home to Austin for a couple of days and we can go to the zoo. We promised Y/N we would take her?"

Gen said, "I think that's a good idea she's worried about you all going to push her away after the attack yesterday."

Jared said, "We wouldn't do that to her Gen."

"I know that but you will have to reassure Y/N. Jensen she's wants help with the bath."

"Ok I go up now and help her," as he gives Jared his daughter.

"Jensen tell her she's got nothing to worry about she's still Y/N," Clif said.

"I willl buddy I will, but I think ya all will have to reassure her yourselves. Can you let Misha in when he gets here he shouldn't  be too long."

"Yes we can do that," Jared said.

Jensen nodded and went upstairs where I was softly crying on my bed. He comes over and holds me in his arms.

"Hey, hey what's with the tears Baby?"

I hiccuped as I said, "What if everyone pushes me away Jensen and can't handle the attack?"

"Oh Baby, they won't do that. Clif asked me to give you a message he said, "you got nothing to worry about your still you."

"He did really?"

"Yes Baby he did. So let's dry theses eyes and get you in the bath. I need to shower as well but we have a surprise for you when we are dressed ok."

"Ok Jay thank you," he smiles as he gives me a kiss. It was a heated kiss as he moaned into it. We pulled away as he kiss my forehead and picks me up and takes me into my bathroom.

We both bath and were ready in record time as we had people downstairs waiting for us. I put on a pair of jeans and one of Jensen plaid shirts as he smiles. 

He said, "They look better on you Baby."

"Jay you sure it's ok."

"Yes Baby, it is promise."

We head downstairs as he watches me on the stairs as we enter the kitchen. The boys were eating some toast as Jared looked up and saw me. He smiled a huge smile as I returned it.

"How are you today Princess?"

"I'm good Jared and you."

"I'm good too come here," as he moved to me and gave me a bear hug as he held me and whispered, "I'm all good."

"Are you really Jared?"

"Yeah I have an amazing supportive wife who let me cry like a baby. No I'm good as long as you are."

"I'm fine really."

"Hey Baby girl, how you doing?"

"I'm better Clif and you I was worried about you?"

"I'm ok now I've seen you and know your alright."

I moved over to him and he gave me a hug and kiss.

Then there was a knock on Jensen's door and Jared went to open as Jensen was getting us breakfast ready.

It was Misha with the kids as they ran in and found Tom and Shep. Misha came in and the first thing he did was hug me as tight as he could. 

He said, "Glad you're alright Y/N I was worried."

"I'm so sorry for worrying you all I didn't know it was going to happen. I will understand if you didn't want to see that again. It would break my heart if you left but I will understand."

"We are not going anywhere Y/N you couldn't help it we just glad we were able to help you," Misha said.

"Sure it scared us all but we had to learn what to do eventually. I for one am glad I was able to help you Princess."

"I was terrified as I've never seen an attack like that before and I was panicked as I didn't know how to help you. Bob told me to go get Jensen so I did but Jared and Misha had brought you back. But I don't look at you any different Baby girl your still the woman Jensen loves and part of our family," Clif said.

"Really you are staying?"

"Of course we made you a promise to be your support. You don't throw someone away when it becomes to hard to deal with. It's not us at all you have us for life now Baby."

As Jared, Gen, Misha and Clif agree and I smiled as did they. 

"Hey we have a plan for the next couple of days. We haven't spoke to Misha yet but he can listen in."

"Hold on Misha where's Vicki?" I asked.

"Her Mum is sick so she's gone to take care of her for a few days."

"She left you with the kids she's definitely a brave woman."

Everyone laughed and said, "Yep I think she wants to see if I can cope."

"Can you?"

"I hope so? So what's this plan Jensen?"

"We taking Y/N to the Austin Zoo and stay for a few days. Your passport came today Baby," as he passes me the envelope to open and I pulled it out.

"I could be in that it would be nice to relax and spend some time together," Misha said.

I looked at Jensen when I said, "Jensen we don't have too. I'm fine here really." 

"Yes we do I want to show you something while we are there ok. Plus we can use your new passport too."

"Ok, I guess I'm in."

Misha said, "Kids how would you all like going to the zoo?"

"Yeah," they all said in unison.

"I guess the kids are in too," Jared said.

I turned towards Clif, "are you coming too Clif?"

"If you want me too I will."

"Of course we do you're our family too."

"Alright I will be honoured to come."

"Ok then we all should go pack for a few days and meet us back here in two hours," Jensen said.

They all shook there heads as Jared asked, "Do you mine if I leave the boys here?"

"No, there fine and we can play a game together," I said.

"Can I leave my two too?" Misha asked.

"Sure why not. Go on do what you have too do and meet us back here," Jensen said.

"We will take Odette with us she's due for a feed soon," Gen said.

"Ok, we will back soon," Jared said.

"I will be back in 20 minutes," Clif said.

"While your all gone I will call for plane tickets," Jensen said.

Jared said, "Well it will be all of us going including Odette."

Misha said, "Me and the kids."

Clif said, "Just me but I have you guys."

"So we need 11 tickets then?" Jensen said.

"I don't think we need one for Odette ask them anyway," Gen said.

"Ok, can do. Go pack and I will organise the tickets."

"Dude, you sure?"

"Yeah go on," he smiles. 

They all leave and we are left with four kids so I tell them to sit down while Jensen calls for the tickets. 

Shep said, "Y/N can you tell us about where you live?"

"Sure sweetheart, what would you like to know?"

"Do you live near an ocean?" Shep asked.

"Yes I do Shep it's beautiful as far as the eye can see. On a sunny day the water sparkles like it has diamonds on it. It's a glorious sight to see."

"We've never seen an ocean where we live there isn't one close enough," Tom said. 

"Maybe one day you could come to Australia and I will show my ocean the one I see while I was living there. Would you like that?"

They all nodded and Shep gave me a hug.

Maison asked, "What kind of animals are there. Do you have dogs and cats?"

"Yes of course we do but we also have kangaroos, koalas, emus, wombats and lots of other animals."

"What's a kangaroo and a koala look like?"

"Here I will show you," as I pulled out my sketch pad and draw them for them. 

West said, "Wow they look funny but I like them."

"Yeah you have to be careful of a full grown kangaroo and koalas can sometimes bite."

Jensen was standing in the doorway watching me with the kids as he said, "I'm going go pack a bag for us ok Baby."

"Ok thanks Jay."

Tom said, "Why does Unca Jensen call you Baby. Your not a baby?"

"It's a term of endearment like when you Mum calls you baby boy."

"Oh like my Dad calls you Princess," Tom asked.

"Yes that's right."

Shep said, "Y/N do you love Unca Jensen?"

"With all my heart I do yes Shep." He looked sad and he pulled his head down. I grabbed his chin gently and said, "Shep I love you too and you will always have a special place in my heart," as I kissed his cheek and gave him a big hug.

"I love you too Y/N."

West said, "Y/N can you tell us about your home?"

"You sure you want to hear about my boring home."

"Yep can we please."

"Ok I live in a house that's connected to another house. The neighbours I've had over the years haven't been nice. It was small only had three bedrooms and a bathroom and toilet. I did have a big backyard which was nice but I had no one to play in it. It was yellow on the outside and my front yard was small."

"How long did you live there?" Asked Tom.

"Around 10 years until Uncle Jensen found me and I came to live here. It's very beautiful here and I love this house."

"Daddy and Mummy have another house in Austin that's where I was named after," Shep said.

"I didn't know that Shep do you like your house in Austin?"

"Yeah we have our own rooms and sissy will have one too," Shep answered.

"Do you have lots of toys?" I said.

"Yeah Mummy and Daddy brought me and Tom lots of toys."

"Ok, what's your favourite toy?"

"Tom?"

"Ah my bike Mummy and Daddy taught me how to ride."

"Wow that's a big step in growing Tom. How did you go?"

"I fell down a couple of times and then I was better and I was really doing good and didn't fall once. Daddy and Mummy were so proud of me."

"I am too it's hard to learn how to ride a bike, you did an amazing job Tom," he beamed me a smile as he looks at Shep who was smiling too.

Jensen came down with one suitcase and a backpack packed with our things as he said, "So what's happening here?"

West said, "Y/N was telling us about her home."

"They just asked about the ocean and where I used to live."

"You alright Baby?"

They all giggled when Jensen called me Baby and I said, "Yeah I fine they were curious."

"Ok, you lot lets go outside and you can go for a run."

They all screamed with excitement as Jensen lets them climb the trees.

We all headed outside where I sat in the chair as they all ganged up on Jensen and pulled him to the ground. He was laughing and smiling, the kids were having fun. I could sit here all day just watching them all. Jensen looked at me and winked. I laughed as he roared as he pulled himself up and the kids all fell to the ground. He did this with them for about 20 minutes before Jared and Gen returned. 

Misha and Clif came in a few minutes later. Jared was watching Jensen as I was watching he was watching me and said, "It's nice when you smile Princess."

"Thank you Jared it's nice to smile."

Jensen said, "So we all ready the flight leaves in an hour."

We all decided to take two cars with everyone. Jared drove his SVU as it had the baby seat and the seats for the boys and Misha drove his car for the same reason.

We all arrived at the airport with half hour to spare as we loaded all our luggage. I noticed Jared and Gen didn't have much and I asked Gen.

"You don't have much luggage?"

"Oh, yeah we have a house in Austin it's where Jared wanted to live so we brought a house."

"Ok," then I noticed Jensen only had the bare minimum of clothes as well.

"Jensen you didn't bring much?"

"It's ok Baby don't worry it's all good promise."

"Ok, Jensen."

We boarded the plane as Jensen watched the boys as Jared offered to carry me on. Jensen carried my crutches for me. As Gen followed behind us.

Jensen had brought first class seats for us all so the boys can stretch out with Maison and West. I could stretch my leg out as well and Gen could breastfeed if she needed to in the baby room on board. 

We all took our seats when the plane took off. Jared was watching his boys as he got up when he was allow to and asked the stewardess if the kids could go up front to the pilots cabin. 

She asked the Captain he said, "it's was fine," so Jared took the kids up front.

Gen said, "Y/N how are you with flying?"

"I'm still a little nervous this only the fifth plane I've been on. I still have to get use of my ears popping and the flaps moving but I'm ok." 

"Yeah I know what you mean," as Jensen moves to let Gen sit next to me and he went to talk to Clif and Misha. 

"Would you like to hold her?"

"Can I she so beautiful Gen and I just love her."

Gen passed me Odette as she watches me. Odette grabbed my finger and hung on as I smile down and said, "Who's  a beautiful little girl then."

"Gen can I ask you something personal?"

"Sure."

I look around and said, "Gen what's it like to have sex?"

She smiles a kind smile and said, "it's the most amazing thing you will ever experience except giving birth. Both can be painful but look what you get at the end," as she looks at her daughter with such love.

"But does it hurt a lot?"

"Only if your a virgin it might hurt for a minute or two but the pleasure over rides the pain."

I blush and Gen notices and asks, "Has Jensen ever touched you intimately?"

"No, he has touched my breasts but I get to scare and he stops he's waiting for me to be ready."

"Jensen will make it pleasurable for you but remember if you don't want children yet get him to use a condom. But Jensen is responsible so he should remember."

"Can I get pregnant that quick Gen."

"It can happen but Jensen wouldn't do that until you both were ready. Are you thinking about having sex with Jensen?"

I blushed again and said, "I asked to watch a porn video with him so I can see what's involved."

"Well that's a good start if your scared but let Jensen touch you every now and again he will be gentle."

I turned to look at Jensen when he senses me looking and smiles that million dollar smile that makes my heart melt.

"Gen I really would like to try and let Jensen touch me more but I'm not sure, what to do?"

"Oh, Y/N my dear girl, you will work it out when your ready. It will rock your world Y/N."

"Ok, thanks Gen, Gen is it really painful having babies?"

"Yes it is but you get a baby at the end and then it's just a memory. The contractions are the pain in the pregnancy and when you have to push the baby out."

I looked scared and Gen reassured me.

"Hey it's amazing really. You won't even remember the pain after just make sure you squeeze Jensen hand as he would feel it more than you."

"Why?"

"Let's just say your grip gets really tight and you could brake his hand."

"Really I don't want to do that."

"Just kidding you will be fine."

Odette had fallen asleep in my arms as I nursed her. Gen and I talked about other things as the plane was getting closer to Austin we were told to put own seatbelts on and the plane was coming in for a landing.

We arrived safely as we all piled down to the rent a car place and two SVU with car seats for the kids. Jensen drove and said, "follow me," to Jared who was driving the other car.

We soon arrived at a house it was glorious as I looked at it. I said, "Jensen this Jared's house?"

"No Baby it's mine this is what I wanted to show you. This is our other home when we are on hitus."

"Hang on Jensen what about......" he stopped me with a kiss. 

"This is our permanent home Baby. Come on let me show you around quickly?"

We walked up the stairs as Jensen swept me off my feet and opened the door. It's was fresh smelling and I smelt roses everywhere. 

He put me down as he grabbed my crutches. The house was huge much bigger than the one in Canada. He showed me all of downstairs and he again had stables and trees but they were further back from the house. He looked at me as I looked in wonder. I heard a noise as Clif brought our luggage in and put it on the floor by the door as well as his and Misha's. Jensen showed me the guest house where Misha will be staying with the kids. 

Then he took me upstairs and showed me everything up there the bathroom, the spare rooms he had three of them as Clif put his things in one and then he stopped outside a door. He opened it and I smelt the familiar cologne that Jensen uses. The room was huge it had a massive bed in the centre of the room with a net around it. I hobbled over as Clif put the bags in our room and left us.

It was painted a light blue and he had a connecting bathroom and walk in robes. I looked at him as he awaited my thoughts on the house. As I sat on the bed.

"Jensen I'm, I'm speechless. God I never knew you had two houses?"

"Well actually I have three I have another one in Los Angeles."

I put my face in my hands as he bends down said, "Hey what are you thinking?"

"I'm a little overwhelmed with all this."

"But are you ok with this?"

I looked into Jensen's eyes and saw the anxious look and I said, "Yes I'm ok with this. It might take me awhile to get use to each house but I love it."

"Really Baby?"

"Yes Jay I love our home."

"We can change anything you want to ok."

"Ok, I will let you know."

"I love you Baby and I hope we will be happy in our home."

"I love you too and me too Jay me too."

"How are we going now or we will never make it to the zoo?' Jared said.

"Ok, did you know about this Jared?"

"Yes he wanted it to be a surprise for you. Did you like it?"

"Yeah I was a little overwhelmed but I'm happy."

"That's good to hear Princess. Shall we go."

We walked down to the car when I stopped and looked at the huge house. Jensen wrapped his arms around me and we just took a moment.

Then we got back in as we headed a few minutes down the road and stopped at another house.

"Jensen who's house is this?"

"It's Jared's," as the boys got out screaming home.

Then Jared said, "This is our home Y/N."

"Yeah Jensen told me. You two don't do anything by halves do you," as I looked at his huge house as well. It would be about the same size as Jensen's.

Gen said, "Just give us a minute I need to change Odette and the boys probably need the bathroom.

Misha said, "can West and Maison use the bathroom too Gen?"

"Of course come on kids," Gen said.

As they leave with Misha and Clif helping with the luggage I was left alone with Jensen. He looked at me as I looked at Jared's house.

"What are you thinking Baby?"

"How big the houses are and that I'm surprised Jared lives basically a few minutes away."

"Yeah I moved here to be closer to him and his family. See they are my family too."

"I know I think it's wonderful and I will get use to all the change it's just very overwhelming at the moment Jay."

"I should have told you and you could have prepared better."

"No I loved the surprise I did. I just never thought my life would ever include a big house with a white picket fence I always dreamed about. Also to have beautiful clothes and enough food to eat it's, and you all love me, it's,........"

"Overwhelmingly."

"Yes Jay," he pulled me into a tight hug and kissed me on the lips as he looks into my eyes. I can see the love in them for me it really is beautiful as his eyes sparkled a different colour. 

Then everyone can back out as we got in the cars and headed to the zoo. It was lucky for the time different as it was still early in the morning in Austin. We arrived about an half hour later. Jensen looked at what we needed as he got some prams type things the kids could sit it if they got tired and he got me a wheelchair to sit in too. Jared paid for the tickets as we all entered.

We were near the Tiger and Lion enclosure as we looked. West said, "Dad look how big the Lion is?"

Misha read what was on the plague out side the enclosure. Then we headed off and the next one was the Tiger enclosure. The Tiger had babies so we could see them. 

Shep said, "Daddy I can't see them," so Jared lifted them all one at a time to see them. 

As we walked around the kids were excited at seeing all the different animals. We got to the water animals and we saw they had a dolphin, seals, and all different bears. 

Misha was standing a bit close to the enclosure when the dolphin jumped up and kissed him. He was startled at first and the dolphin did it again. We all laughed as the kids wanted the dolphin to kiss them too. So Jared held the boys as the dolphin displayed his affections. I was close enough to rub his belly it was glorious.

We headed further along and the kids said, "they were hungry," so we stopped for food.

After lunch Gen asked me to hold Odette to get her a rest and I nursed her until she felt asleep. All the while Jared, Jensen, Misha and Gen were taking pictures of everything and the kids. Clif was happy to just look at everything he did take an interest in the spiders. Yuk they were horrible and I couldn't look so I stayed outside while Clif took the kids in to look. 

Jared said, "bit scared Princess?"

"No I don't like spiders they freak me out."

"Ok, we are going in. You can wait here?" Jensen said.

So they all went in and looked at the spiders and scorpions and other creepy crawlies. I moved the wheelchair over with great difficulty as I had hold of Odette to the shade as I was looking at the meerkats and the elephants. 

Gen came out and was shivering at the sight she just saw. She found me under the shade and came over and said, "Next time I will listen to you Y/N they were huge and scary."

"I know right," as she turns to look at the meerkats and elephants.

"Wow they are cute and look how big the elephants are."

"Yeah I would love to own an elephant but it's cruel to do that to them"

"Look howvmajestic they are," Gen said.

"Yeah beautiful and you can feed them too."

"The kids will like that."

"I know they will love it."

They all came back and were looking at the elephants. I said, "You can feed them if you want too."

They eyes all lit up with excitement as Misha brought them some peanuts. He showed them how to hold their hands as the elephant took the peanuts from his hand.

The kids and even Jensen and Jared had a turn at feeding the elephants when one of the elephants decide to grab Jared's arm to move him closer. He looked stunned but he allow the elephant to do it as he fed him more peanuts. 

When we run out of peanuts after like five different packets were given to the elephants we moved on. We headed for the children's zoo where the kids can feed the animals there with pellets. 

They were laughing and having fun as I watched everyone enjoy themselves. I was enjoying being a part of a family who wanted me and didn't expect me to be there slaves most of all I didn't have to worry about being hit or abused. It was a good feeling to finally feel loved by the people in my life. 

Odette had woken up as Gen handed me a bottle of breast milk for her so I could feed her. I was watching Odette when Shep ran over and said, "Y/N did you see the emu chase me?"

"Yes Shep I saw it," it happened before I started feeding Odette.

He went back with his brother as we had stopped in a park area so I could feed Odette and the kids could play. The day was going a lot perfectly and we all were having fun.

I was looking at Odette wen Jensen was watching me. Jared was looking at Jensen and tapped Gen and they both were watching the look across his face. He so wanted to have children and the look he was giving me was almost like he wanted them soon.

Jared said, "You look good holding and feeding our daughter Princess," I blushes as I looked up and noticed Jensen looking at me also.

"She's a good girl and drinking her bottle. I lifted her to burp her when she threw up on my shoulder. It was lucky I had a towel draped over it to pick up her over flow. Jensen got up and wiped her mouth and face. As he leans down and said, "You look incredibly sexy feeding Odette Baby. I wish she was our's?"

My neck and face heated as the blush rise to my face and my cheeks went red. Jared and Gen were smiling as they knew what Jensen said.

Clif and Misha were playing with the kids so they didn't see. I said, "Jensen do you really want to have children with me?"

"Oh dear God Baby of course I do."

"But we haven't......" I stopped as another blush rose.

"I know but we will when you're ready, can we at least talk about it together. I know you are not ready yet but I do enjoy watching you with Odette. You will make a great parent."

"I will I never thought about children before Jensen."

"It's ok no pressure. We will talk about in the future ok. I was just letting you know I would be on board with having a family with you."

"Ok, we will discuss it later."

Jared said, "Princess you would be a amazing parent I've seen you with Odette and the kids you are really good with them."

"Thanks you Jared but it's easy when you can give them back."

Gen said, "Want to talk about this later you look absolutely scared of the idea Y/N?"

"That would be good Gen thanks."

Then the kids came over asking to move on and see the rest of the zoo. We looked at all the animals and we were all tired after so we all headed home. 

Jared and Gen took the boys and Odette home after giving us a hug and a kiss. I hug her and said, "talk tomorrow Gen."

"Sure Y/N don't worry too much."

I shook my head as I was saying goodbye to the boys. Gen said, "Jensen don't push the baby thing she's scared and I want to talk to her about her fears."

"Yeah I saw the look I won't  I will wait until she brings it up. Bye Gen and thanks for being here for her."

"My pleasure."

Jared gave me a hug and kiss. Then they left as we hopped in our car with Clif, Misha and his kids and drove back to our new home. It was going to feel strange being in a different house but I guess it's my home too so I will have to get use of it. 

We arrived a short time later as Jensen parked the car and we headed inside. Misha took the kids out to the guest house and Clif said, "Goodnight" as he went to his room.

We both said, "Goodnight to Misha and his kids and Clif and headed upstairs to our room. Jensen closed the door as I lie down on the bed and fell asleep clothes and all. 

Jensen smiled as he pulled my shoes off gently and pulled my clothes off and put my shirt on as he kissed me on the forehead. He stripped down too and climbed in next to me. He was exhausted but all he could think about is having a baby with me. He eventually felt asleep and dreamt of our child. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my story. Thank you for the comments and kudos. As always much appreciated. 
> 
> Next chapter will be heavy with the psychiatrist appointment and being back on the set after they get back from Austin. 
> 
> Will try to post soon.   
> Until then take care and always keep fighting.


	22. The Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader has a nightmare that she is going to hurt her baby if she has one. Jensen and Clif reassure her she won't but she is still unsure. Jensen takes the Reader for a ride on his horse and they bath in a creek where he touches her so she can use of his touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter kind of got away from me and wrote itself. Jensen takes her for a ride on his stallion to the creek and they go for a swim and he touch her so she can get used of his touch.  
> Warnings:nudity, coarse language, nightmares, doubtful thoughts about being a parent, Clif and Jensen worried, Reader insecure about having a child. Touching in the creek. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Sorry this chapter took so long. I am trying to get them up as soon as I can but sometimes my health and life gets in the way. Thank you all for being patient and understanding with me. It's very much appreciated. You are all amazing. 
> 
> Please comments always appreciated.

I tossed and turned all night dreaming of our child and how beautiful she would be. I was happy and then a dark cloud appeared over our lives as Jensen looked at me and laughed. He said, "We have a child only for you to hurt it like you were I wouldn't dare have one with you. You wouldn't be a good parent, not now or ever," as he laughs.

Then I see Jared and Gen pulling their kids away from me for protection. Jared yelling, "You monster stay away from my kids."

Clif looked sad and disappointed as he moved away as well.

I was crying in my sleep when Misha said, "Y/N you going to have to leave your hurting our kids. I can't let you hurt them."

I was thrashing around when Jensen woke and my arm hit him in the face. He grabbed both of my arms as he straddled me to get me to wake.

He said, "Y/N, Baby wake up it's just a nightmare."

I screamed at the top of my lungs when Clif ran through the door and saw Jensen on top on me. Jensen said, "She's having a nightmare I'm trying to wake her."

He walked over and kneeled down by the bed and said, "Baby girl your safe, you can open your eyes it's just a nightmare," as he stroked my face and pushed some hair away.

I had stopped thrashing and Jensen let go of my arms as he bent down and rubbed my cheek and kissed me lightly on the lips. I rubbed my hand over his and my eyes fluttered open as I looked at Jensen's green worried eyes.

As Clif said, "Baby girl."

I turned to look at Clif and I was wondering why Jensen was straddling me. I said, "What's going on?" As Jensen moved to the side of me.

"You had a nightmare and screamed so Clif came to see if you were alright?"

"I did, I'm sorry if I woke you Clif?"

"No it's ok are you?"

"I'm not sure?"

"Do you want to talk about it Baby?"

"I'm," I stuttered out, "not sure Jensen. I kind of freaked me out."

"Yeah I guessed that Y/N."

I sighed and said, "Jensen how much do you love me?"

"Why Baby?"

"I'm not sure I want to have children Jensen?"

"What brought this on Y/N? Is because I said, "you looked good holding a baby?"

"Part of it. What if I have them and hurt them Jensen. I couldn't bare to hurt my child."

"Hey who said, "you are going to hurt our child?"

"I dreamt it we had a little girl and then she disappeared. You were saying you would never have a child with me incase I hurt it," as the tears sting behind my eyes ready to fall. "Then Jared, Gen and Misha told me to stay away from their kids as I will hurt them and I was asked to leave. Clif he just looked sad and disappointed in me."

"It's only a dream Baby. Jared, Gen and Misha would never stop you from seeing their kids. I will never ask you to leave either."

Clif said, "I will never be disappointed in you Baby girl you have overcome so much. You are an inspiration to me and I'm proud of what you have done with your life. You have Jensen, Jared, Misha and their families all love you and support you. You have me a normal hard ass turned to jelly when your around," as he laughs.

"You also have your job and you want to set up the foundation for abused kids. You have an amazing soul and empathy for people you care about. I love your heart as you show it to us everyday. You will make an incredible parent Y/N and I know when we decide too you will love our child as much as I love you."

"Jensen I still a little worry about it?"

"Ok, how about you talk to Daniela about it tomorrow to calm your fears."

"Yes that would be good."

Clif said, "You good now Y/N?"

"Yes thanks Clif."

"Ok I will go shower and see you both downstairs."

Jensen said, "Ok Clif," as he moves out of our room.

Jensen looked at me and pulled me into his arms where my tears had fallen unaware down my face. He released me as he looked into my tear filled eyes and wiped them away as he moved a bit of hair from my face.

He didn't have to say the words I could see them in his eyes. He was worried about me and didn't know how to reassure me enough to calm my fears.

"Jensen I'm sorry for waking you and Clif."

"Don't be you were having a nightmare I would have woken you sooner except you didn't respond to me when I tried. Not until I kissed you."

"But I always wake when you touch me with your hand."

"No it wasn't my touch, it was the kiss what brought you around this time."

"Maybe I like kissing your sexy lips Ackles."

He laughed and said, "You do, do you?"

"Of course I do," as I moved my lips near his and kissed him deeply.

He responded and kissed me back. He moves over me as he rubs his hand down my face as he moans into the kiss. I could feel how much he wanted me and I wish I could give him more but I'm just not there yet. 

He pulled away and smiled as he looked into my eyes and said, "What do you want to do today,"

"Jensen can we go for a ride on the horse and explore the property please?"

"You can't ride with your knee."

"I know but I've never been on a horse before couldn't we ride together?"

"Yeah sure I could sit behind you."

"So we can go?"

"Yep I don't see why not."

"Yeah, I love you Jay."

"I know," as he smiles.

"Did you just Han Solo me Jensen."

"Yep," as he laughs and kisses me again. 

"Jay?"

"Yeah Baby."

"Can it just be you and me going on the ride. I would like to spend sometime alone with you. If that's alright?"

"Of course it is Baby."

"I guess we should get up. Clif is probably wondering if we are getting up."

"Guess we should go shower and get dressed."

"Jensen can I have a shower with you please?"

"What about your leg?"

"You can hold me while we shower."

"Oh God, Baby your amazing you know that."

"Yeah, so I've been told by my handsome boyfriend."

"He did, did he, smart man your boyfriend is." 

"He is and he's incredibly patient with me too."

"Hey I'm not going to rush you into something your not ready for Baby."

"I know I just wanted to let you know I appreciate how patient you are being with me."

"I will wait forever for you."

"You would?"

"Of course, I love you."

"Me too Jay. We should go shower before Clif comes knocking on the door."

He gets up and helps me up and I grab my crutches as we move to the bathroom. He slowly unbuttons my shirt and throws it on the ground as he kissed my neck. He then slowly pulled my panties down and then lifts one leg as he kisses my foot. Then the other as he kisses the other foot. My panties landed next to my shirt. 

He then looked at me as he undressed himself. He then turns on the shower as I hobbled as close as I could to the shower when I put the crutches against the wall. Jensen grabs me around the waist and slightly lifts me so I don't put any pressure on my knee. As we both enter the shower the water was warm and relaxing as he grabs the soap and lathers it up and turns me so Im resting on his chest as he washes my stomach. He then moves his hand between my thigh as he washes my most private of parts as he other arm was holding me steady. As he was being gently with washing me as the water splashed down on us. He washed every inch of me and it felt incredible he has the most talented hands. 

We finished washing each other. I tried to wash Jensen but some of it was hard. So he washed what I couldn't. We dried off and Jensen got my crutches and we got dressed in the bedroom. 

"Put on some jeans and a shirt Baby."

"Ok," as I pulled out a pair of jeans and one of his shirts.

He laughed at me as I always took his purple plaid shirts. We headed downstairs when we finished dressing and Clif had coffee made and breakfast of waffles and panacakes ready. Misha and his kids were eating quietly when we walked in. 

Misha saw me and beamed a smile as he gets up and gives me a hug and kiss. "Morn'in Y/N, sleep well?"

"Morning Misha, yes thank you and you?"

"Well I did but these two were up hours ago."

Jensen said, "Morning Misha. West and Maison."

Misha said, "Morning," as the kids giggled while they were eating. I went over and kissed the heads and said, "Morning," to

them too. I moved over to Clif and gave him and hug and kiss as well. 

Clif smiled as he continued to cook.

Misha said, "So what are we doing today,"

Jensen said, "Y/N wants to see the property so we thought we would take a horse and go for a ride."

Clif looked worried and said, "What about your leg? You don't want to brake it again?"

I smiled and said, "Boy you and Jensen are alike. As I said to him I will be fine as Jensen is going to be on the same horse he will make sure I'm safe."

"She will perfectly safe Clif and I will hold her. I've been riding since I was a child I know how to make sure we are safe."

"Ok, but be careful," Jensen rolled his eyes as he knew Clif was looking out for me but he also knew I would be safe.

West said, "Can we come too Uncle Jensen?"

He looked at Misha and Misha said, "Not today West we need to call your Mum and explore Austin a bit. Maybe see if Tom and

Shep would like to come too?"

He looked disappointed but he said, "Ok Dad," as he grabbed Maison hand and went to play outside.

We finished breakfast as Clif offer to do the dishes. Misha was on the phone to Jared when Jared asked, "what were doing today."

Misha said, "Jensen and Y/N are going horse back riding. Y/N wants to see the property so Jensen is taking her on the horse."

Jared said, "She going to be ok to ride?"

"Jensen will be on the horse with her. He assures us that Y/N will be perfectly fine."

"Ok, tell them I said, "Hi."

"I will, I was wondering if the boys would like to go to the park with West and Maison today?"

"Yeah that would be great Mish give Gen and I some time together."

"I'm happy to take them. I think that's what Jensen and Y/N want some time together too."

"Yeah they haven't really had any have they,"

"No we are always with them."

"I guess. Ok what time are you coming?"

"About an hour?" 

"Ok I will have the boys ready."

"Thanks Jared."

As he hung up and said, "Jared said, hi."

Jesnen nodded his head and I said, "What are they up too today?"

"I'm taking the boys and they are going to spend some time together."

"Sounds wonderful."

He laughed as he said, "Yep and I know you and Jensen want the same thing."

I blushed and said, "Yes we do you don't mine."

"Of course not enjoy yourselves. I better get the kids organised so we can go."

"Ok, have fun Misha."

"I will," as he walks out looking for his kids.

Jensen said, "Well Baby we better get some supplies."

"Jensen," he looked at me and smiles.

Clif said, "Do you need help getting Y/N onto the horse Jensen?"

"Yeah that would be great Clif thanks," as he grabbed some food and lemonade out of the fridge.

We all headed over to the stable as Jensen saddles up his beautiful black stallion as he moves over to it and gives him an apple.

He said, "He's name is Chevy after the Impala."

I laughed as he grabbed my hand and put an apple in it. He showed me how to hold my hand as Chevy took the apple. He then showed me how to pat his mane and between his eyes. 

Jensen continued "I've have Chevy since he was a foal he's a good boy and he won't hurt you."

"He's beautiful Jensen," as Chevy canted his head in response.

Clif said, "You ready Baby Girl?"

"Yes thank you Clif."

He gently lifts me like I don't weight anything and put me in the saddle. He also helped Jensen up too. I said, "Thanks Clif."

Jensen said, We will be back in about four hours Clif."

"Ok, Jensen."

Jensen slowly walks the horse out to the open field in front of us. The wind in my face and blowing through my hair. I felt free and light as Jensen moves the horse into a trott as he picks up speed. Jensen had he's arm around my waist as he holds me. My head is leaning against his shoulder. As he moves towards the mountains they were beautiful and green. He continue to ride Chevy up the mountain for a bit as the horse canters and throws his head back. He really is a beautiful animal and he is well taken care of.

We continue to ride along a creek as the horse was walking. I looked around me and saw all the different wildlife on the property. He stopped Chevy at the top of the creek under a beautiful tree. It was in bloom as its leaves were a beautiful shade of purple. It was the first time I had ever since one. 

Jensen said, "It's a blossom tree you like it?" 

"Yes it's beautiful Jay," as he jumped off the horse and he helped me down. I stood there just taking in the smell and sounds it was absolutely peaceful. He grabbed our food and blanket as I lean against Chevy until he came and got me when he had put the blanket down. He lifted me and gently placed me on the blanket.

He looked out at the sky as he said, "Listen to that Baby?"

"What the peace and quite?"

"Yes it's nice and I love riding up here it's my favourite spot on the property."

"Yeah it is very beautiful Jensen," there was the creek in the midddle of the property and the were blossom trees and rocks. It was a place you could go and think."

"You hungry Baby?"

"Yeah but my butt and legs hurt."

He laughed as he started to undo my buttons on my jeans. I looked at him and he said, "It's ok I'm only going to take you in the creek it will help soothe the soreness. I said, "Jensen your coming in?"

"Of course."

He took my jeans off and my shirt and I was left in my bra and undies as he stripped down as well. He carried me into the creek. I was surprised I thought it would be cold but it was warm and soothing as Jensen said.

He said, "What do you think?"

"It wonderful Jay," as I relaxed in his arms. He held me as I floated on top of the water and just lied there in the water.

He moved my body so I was again fully in the water as he kisses me deeply. I moaned into the kiss as our tongues touched each other licking and exploring each other's mouths. We broke the kiss and we were breathless. I felt warm all over I don't know if it was the heated kiss or the creek. Jensen rubbed my back and moved down to my legs as he massaged them until I felt them loosen up. He touched me everywhere on my body as he massaged my sore butt as well. 

"I want to feel you touch me Jensen, I want to know what it feels like."

He looked me in the eyes and smiled as he rubs his hand over my breast as he kisses my lips. I move my head as he attacks my neck with little bites as I mewl. He slowly touches every inch of my body. His hands are so warm and gentle as he work it relax my muscles and get me used of his touches. 

"Hold on my shoulders Baby," as he continued to touch me. I was moaning and he looked at me and said, "I can stop Baby?"

"No, it feels good and I want you too. I want to experience this Jay and not be afraid of your touches."

He continued to rub my shoulders and back when he put his head against mine and just looked at me. It was such an imitate gesture I just looked back and kissed him. 

We stayed in a little longer as my fingers were turning to prunes as he helped me out and laid me on the blanket. The sun was warm as he laid next to me and he held me in his arms as we both dried. 

"Jensen," he looked at me, "Thank you for your gentle caresses and touching."

"I would do anything to make you more comfort Baby. Maybe next time we could try something else?"

"Ok Jensen this is nice though and I'm enjoying it."

"You hungry, we have food and drink."

"Sure."

He sat up and helped me as he grabbed the basket. I grabbed my shirt and his t-shirt as we put them on so we wouldn't burn.  He took his shirt and smiled at me as he got out our food. We ate quietly listening to everything around us as he was smiling at me.

I said, "What Jensen?"

"You look beautiful Baby with the sun in your hair. You know I love you right."

"You look incredibly gorgeous to you know. I know, I love you too Jay."

We finished eating and Jensen put everything back in the basket and we put our clothes back on. He helped me up onto Chevy as he climbed up behind me and we continue to explore the property. It was huge more than I thought it was as we hit the boundary to the property. 

"This is the end of the line Baby. That's not my property." 

"Jensen this is a big place do you have any plans for it."

"Not yet as I don't have the time to do anything yet. Maybe when Supernatural finishes I might consider raising horses."

"That sounds amazing Jensen."

"I've always loved them. I've had Chevy since I was 20 years old. He's a good horse and he's strong. I love him," as he taps his neck and Chevy neighed. 

We head back to the house as it was late afternoon and we were gone longer than we said we would. 

Clif was watching out for us as he stood waiting with my crutches.

Jesnen walked Chevy up to Clif as he helps me off. He asks "how was the ride?"

"It was incredible I didn't realise how big the property was. The creek was amazing," as I rubbed my butt. 

Cliff laughed and said, "Yeah the ride takes a lot on your butt."

Jensen said, "She enjoyed the time alone and the quiet it was nice for us both."

"Is Misha back we the kids yet?" I asked.

"Yeah they returned awhile ago and they are playing in the guesthouse."

"What have you been up to Clif? I said. 

"I went and check the car and made sure everything was good. Then I just read some I haven't been able to do that in awhile."

"I'm glad you have a relaxing day Clif," I said. 

Jensen said, "You want to soak in the tub you look like your butt is hurting?"

"Yes please sounds good," as I head off to the bathroom. Clif took Chevy and said, "I will take care of him. You go help Y/N she looks like she needs it."

"Thanks Clif," as he moves off to follow me to the bathroom.

He was behind me when I reached the stairs as he looked at me and took pity and lifted me off my feet and carried me up the stairs. We entered the bathroom and he put me down and turned on the water. 

He helped me strip down and gently lifted me into the water. He said, "You need any help Baby?"

"No I'm fine but you can give me a massage when I get out like at the creek my limbs all hurt."

"Sure Baby, I'm going to shower too." 

"Ok, Jay thank you for today it was nice."

"Anytime Baby anytime."

He strips off and climbs in the shower where he starts singing our song. The water was that soothing and Jensen singing I dozed off in the bath. Jesnen finished his shower and saw I was asleep so he gently woke me. 

"Jay what's wrong?"

"Hey Y/N you can't sleep in the bath. How about I get you out and give you that massage and then you can sleep for a bit."

"Sounds nice Jay," as he gets the towel and puts it near by as he lifts me out of the bath and wraps the towel around me as he carries me into our room. He lies me down and he puts in some pants as I wait patiently. He rolls me over as he massages my back and neck I moaning in pleasure. 

"Your muscles are tight Baby. You have big knots in your neck and shoulders," as he press deeper to soothing my body. He works his way down my back squeezing and rubbing. 

My breathing had even out as he felt me relax under his skilful hands as I fell asleep again. He continued to massages my body and my sore bottom and then moved to my legs. I didn't wake once as he looked at me all relaxed. 

He finished and he lied down next to me for a bit too. Clif knocked on the door as Jensen put some jeans on and said quietly, "Hang on."

He opened the door as Clif said, "Chevy's all brushed down and back in his stable eating hay. How's Y/N?"

"Thanks Clif she asleep I think the ride took a lot out of her and her body. She will be fine once she's slept for awhile."

"Ok are you coming down or staying with her?"

"I will be down in a minute I just need to finish dressing."

"Ok, see you in a bit."

Jensen closed the door and finished dressing as he kissed my head and pulled the blankets over me and left. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I know I was going to write about the therapy session but this came out of my brain instead. I thought Jensen could touch her as she needed to used of his touches. Next chapter going back to work and therapy session.  
> Maybe in a couple of chapters I might let it go a little further maybe Jensen could touch her to orgasm maybe. Not sure yet what do you think? 
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter. 
> 
> Next chapter up when I can.


	23. Dealing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader is still worried about hurting her child as Jensen tries to help make her feel better with Shep giving her a hug. Jared and Misha also speak with her but doesn't seem to help either. The Reader has her therapy session and is surprised with what Daniela suggests. But Jensen is really into the idea. Daniela also helps the Reader with her fears about hurting her child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader is upset about having a nightmare and hurting her child. Daniela helps the Reader through this and suggests some usual therapy for her and Jensen to try. Of course Jensen is fully into the idea. The Reader warms up to the idea as well. Will the new therapy be just what they both need to help the Reader overcome her attacks? 
> 
> Sorry this chapter is so long it kind of got away from me. I hope you like it.
> 
> Warnings: coarse language, talk of abuse, emotional state, support, scared, touching, lots of love and comfort, therapy session where Daniela tells them to Ben imitate with each other. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Thank you for reading please do not read if it will cause you any harm or trigger something. Your health is more important than my story. Please read the warnings above.  
> Please always appreciate comments it helps me as a writer.

Jensen went down to the kitchen to find Clif he was drinking a cup coffee with Misha. The kids were watching a DVD in the lounge room. Misha asked, "How's Y/N doing?"

"She's asleep it was a long ride for her today."

Clif said, "we will need to go to the airport soon to and get back before filming starts."

"Yeah I know I will ring and see when the last flight out is and get us back in time."

"Better she sleeps as she has a long day tomorrow with her appointment with Daniela," Misha said.

"Yeah I know and she's worried having kids and hurting them."

"What," Misha said.

"Shit you didn't know?"

"No what's going on Jensen?"

"She had a nightmare where we had a baby and she hurt it. Then you and Jared all told her that she wouldn't be allow near your kids and I told her to leave."

"What why didn't you tell me I could have helped her."

"She didn't want you and Jared to know."

"Y/N really has had it tough and now to be dreaming about abusing her child. You seen her with ours, with Odette she's amazing."

"I know I tried to tell her she was amazing with them but she has her doubts."

"I even told her she has overcome a lot and is an inspiration to me but that didn't ease her mind either," Clif said.

"Maybe we should ask Gen or Jared to talk with her?"

"Hang on Misha you might be on to something there?"

"What?" Misha said.

"Not Gen or Jared but Shep."

"What a great idea he adores her and he can tell her how much he loves her," Misha said.

"We have to tell Jared and Gen what's going on too so they know," Clif said.

"Yeah I know," as he sighs.

"Maybe ring them and see if they could come earlier so Shep can spend time with Y/N without Jared and Gen knowing what's going on."

He picked up his phone and rang Jared's number.

"Hello Jared here."

"Hey Jared, can you guys come over as we need to leave soon and get the flight back to Canada."

"Yeah sure when do you want us there?"

"In half an hour."

"Ok we will get the kids organised and come right over."

"Thanks Jared see you then."

He hangs up and said, "they will be here soon."

"So we wait for them to come. How are we going to wake Y/N up?"

"No need I will send Shep up there to wake her. She will probably just hug him."

"That's sneaky Jensen but it's a good idea."

"Yeah I thought so."

Clif looked at the two men and shook his head as he said, "Why don't you just go up and wake her now?"

"No she needs her sleep and I don't want to disturb her."

So they talked about the show and the set. About half an hour later there was a knock at the door. 

It was Jared and Gen and the kids. Gen looked at Jensen and said, "What's wrong Jensen?"

She always had a way of reading Jensen as he said, "Gen nothing's wrong."

"Yes there is, Y/N's ok isn't she?"

"Yep she's asleep."

"Ok then I will go and wake her up."

"No," Jensen all but shouted.

Jared looked at his friend and said, "Dude don't shout at my wife."

"I'm sorry but I need Shep to go wake Y/N up."

They both looked at him and Jared raised an eyebrow in question. "Ok I will tell you when Shep goes upstairs please Jared."

"Ok, ok. Shep you want to go wake up Y/N for us. Be gentle remember she has a sore leg still."

"Ok, Daddy I will be gentle," as he ran up the stairs almost falling down them. 

"Jensen," Gen questioned.

"Y/N had a nightmare where she hurt our child and then you and Misha wouldn't let her near your's because you were afraid she would hurt them. So I was hoping Shep would show her how much you trust her with him being upstairs with her."

"Jensen you could have come to us. We love her too."

"I know and I'm sorry."

 

Meanwhile Shep walks in the bedroom and leans down and whispers, "Y/N it's time to wake up." No response so he kisses my cheek and he rubs his hand down my face. I moan and he said, "Y/N you have to get up." 

"Shep what are you doing here?"

"Unca Jensen asked me to wake you."

"Oh," as he leans in and gives me a hug. I try to pull away but it's a bit hard when your lying down. Then I realised I was naked under the sheet. 

Shep looked at me and said, "I love you Y/N."

"I love you too sweetheart, can you go get Uncle Jensen for me please."

"Yep," as he gives me a quick kiss and hug and then left.

I looked under the sheets and I was stark naked. I'm just glad Shep didn't move the sheet it would have been embarrassing. 

Jensen walked in and said, "What's wro......?" stopping mid sentence when I pulled the blanket down so he could see my naked body.

"Jensen I'm naked and you sent Shep in here. Why?"

"I'm sorry Baby I forgot and I thought Shep would cheer you are."

"No you wanted to prove to me that I wouldn't hurt him."

"Yeah ok your right but it worked didn't it?"

"Yeah but I don't have him all the time Jensen and he's such a great kid I would yell at him anytime. We need a baby over night if we are going to see if I can cope?"

"Oh, ok I'm sorry." 

There was a knock on the door as I pulled the sheet up as Jensen got my shirt for me to put on. Jensen yelled hang on a minute. The voice on the other side said, "ok."

As I was doing up the buttons Jensen opened the door for the person waiting on the other side. He looked at me and said, "We leave for the airport soon."

"Ok, I will be ready Jay."

He opened and Jared was standing on the other side and he said, "Can I come in?"

I looked wondering why Jared was up here.

Jensen said, "Sure come on in."

I moved up the bed so the pillows were resting behind me as he walks over and gives me a kisss on the cheek. I said, "What's wrong Jared?"

He just looked at me and pulled me into a hug as I look at Jensen wondering again what's going on?

He pulls away and he said, "Don't be mad but Jensen told us about your nightmare. I was talking to Gen and she has asked me to reassure you that we don't think you would hurt our children Princess. We have watched you with Odette and you are amazing with her and Shep and Tom adore you. Shep told us he kissed your cheek to wake you up and you never got mad or even angry at him. So no we would never stop you from seeing or being with our kids. I for one think you would be an amazing Mum to you own child one day Princess. We all love you and wouldn't never ask you to leave us."

I had a tear slipped down my face as he wipes it away and Jensen said, "I needed you to know your wonderful with the kids and Jared and Gen think so too. I hope your not angry I told them?"

"No I'm not I needed this reassurance Jay and thank you Jared. I love you and you kids so much it would hurt me if I didn't see them."

"Hey, how about when we get back and if you want you and Jensen take Odette for an afternoon and you can see what kind of parents you are?"

"I don't know Jared what if I fail and hurt her?"

"I will be there to help Baby. I think we both need this and you need to feel secure in having a child with me one day."

"Can I think about it Jared."

"Of course Princess just let me know and we will bring Odette anytime."

I shook my head and Jensen said, "You better get up and finish dressing as we have to go to the airport soon."

Jared looked at me with a wicked grin and I blushed as Jensen laughed. 

"Leave you two so I can dress," with a smile on my face as Jared hugs me. 

"I'll be downstairs is this the bag we are taking back with us or leaving here?"

"I might leave it here so I will have clothes here too."

"Ok, love you."

"I know," he smiles as I did Han Solo on him. 

He shut the door as I got up and found my clothes. I put them on as Jensen had put my crutches where I could get to them. I sat for a few moments just thinking about what Jared said and I wondered if Misha felt the same with his kids? There was a soft knock on the bedroom door and I said, "come in."

Misha stood in the doorway and he smiled at me. I love his smile as it lit up his whole face and his ocean blue eyes sparkle. He came over and hugged me in his arms as I dropped the crutches as he crushes me too him. I said, "can't breathe Misha."

"Oh, my apologies Y/N. I wanted you to know I love you and trust you with my kids. Your amazing with them all."

"I know Jared told me the same thing but I have doubts about being a parent. It's ok when I can give the child back but what about full time I don't know."

"I can see your worried about this and I can ease your fears Y/N. I was abused at school I was beat up a lot and hurt. I turned out alright and I haven't hurt my children and you won't either. I haven't told a lot of people about my life but I wanted you to know so you know where I was coming from."

"Thank you for sharing with me, but how can we know that Misha?"

"I do because you have a kind heart and a soft soul."

"Misha I still have doubts. I will talk to Daniela about it when I have my appointment tomorrow."

"Ok but know that we all trust you we our kids and I would be proud to leave them with your for the day."

"I know and thank you Misha."

"We better get down there as we need to get to the airport," as he picked up my crutches off the ground. He handed them to me and gave me a hug before we went downstairs. 

Gen saw me and hugged me she didn't say anything. She just gave me a soft smile and said, "You good?"

"Not sure yet Gen?"

"Do you want to talk more?"

"Maybe later?"

"Ok whenever your ready."

I shook my head as Clif said, "we all ready to go?"

Jensen looked at everyone and said, "we are all good."

So we all walked out to the cars as I turned to look at the house one more time. Jensen looked at me and he held me around the waist. 

I said, "We will be back won't we Jensen?"

"Of course every chance we get."

"It's a beautiful house Jensen thank you for bringing me home."

"Your welcome Baby," as he kisses me and Clif honks the horn. We turn and get in the car and we drive to the airport.

We all board the plane back to Canada and work tomorrow.

 

We get up up after I had  a restless night sleeping. I knew I needed to tell Daniela what happened on set and my feelings about the baby. But first I had to make it through the fight scene on set. I looked at Jensen as we ate our breakfast and said, "Jensen I'm worried about the scene today?"

"I know Baby it will be ok."

"How am I suppose to sit there and hope I don't have another attack?"

"We will work something out I promise."

"Ok Jensen," as there was a knock at the door. Jensen answered it as it was Clif with Jared and Misha. 

Jensen said, "Baby you ready for work, Clif's here to drive us."

"Ok, I'm coming now."

Clif said, "Good mornin Jensen."

"Mornin Clif, Y/N will be here in a minute."

Jared said, "How is she today Jay?"

"Worried about the fight scene incase she has another attack."

"What can we do to reassure her everything will be alright," Misha said.

"Nothing you can do any of you," as I came out of the kitchen.

"We just trying to help Baby?"

"I know and I love you all for it but this is something I need to deal with. I need to face my fear and kick it in the butt so to speak."

Jared laughed and said, "That's definitely one way of dealing with it."

"I thought so," as I smiled.

Clif said, "Ok we all better go or we will be late."

"Yep and Bob will kick our asses," Misha said.

"Misha where are the kids?"

"Gen offered to take care of them for me today while I was filming."

"That was nice of her."

"Yeah she wanted the boys distracted for awhile."

"She wanted some her time huh."

"Yeah exactly while Odette is still asleep."

"Can't blame her and a soak in the tub sounds nice."

We all piled into the SUV as Clif drove us to work. I was wringing my fingers when Jensen grabbed my hands and held them in his. His hands were warm and soft. I loved his hands as he starts rubbed his thumb in my palm to calm me down.

We arrived a short time later when Bob saw us he came over and said, "I need to talk with you Y/N?"

"What about Bob?"

"About the other day when you had the attack."

Jensen, Jared, Misha and Clif looked at me and then Bob.

Jensen said, "What's this all about Bob?"

"It wasn't her fault Bob?"

"You need to understand more about what happened Bob."

I looked at them and said, "Thank you all for your support but I will be leaving now. I'm sorry for wasting your time Bob. I miss working for you."

He looked stunned at what I was saying. "What I'm not sacking you Y/N."

"I thought when you said...." he stopped me mid sentence. 

He said, "No I would like to learn more and how to help you through and attack that's what I wanted. Plus to make sure you are alright from the scene the other day and alright with it being filmed today?"

"I'm not sure about the scene today but I'm alright from the other day. Thank you for asking."

"Yep the attack the other day kind of scared me and help me decide what's important. Plus if I sack you I would have them all to deal with," as he points to the guys as they stand there listening in. 

"Yeah I know they will protect me. Bob remember I have an appointment with my therapist today."

"I remember Y/N you can go whenever it is."

"Thanks Bob."

"Ok let's get some work done before then."

"Your three wardrobe," as I looked at them and smiled.

"Yes Ma'am," they all replied as they walked to wardrobe. Clif followed me as I sat in my chair as Clif had moved it closer to Bob's Directors chair at his request as we waited for them to return. 

Jensen was dressing in a plaid shirt and green army jacket, Jared was dressed in a plaid shirt and brown jacket and Misha was in his usual trench coat.

Bob shouted ok let's run through the fight scene. He looks at me and I shake my head yes.

He said, "Action."

Clif said, "Are you alright with this Baby Girl?"

"Yes I can't run from my demons forever Clif I need to start standing up to them."

Jensen looked at me and mouthed "I love you."

I smiled as the fight scene started. I was holding on to the chair as my knuckles went white. Clif saw and grabbed my hand and held it tight as I moved my other hand to and Bob had hold of it. I looked at Bob and he smiled at me and I relaxed my hand in his. Clif was rubbing my shoulder with his other hand. 

I watched as I flinched went they were hit each time but I got through the whole scene without an attack. Jensen was bruised and bloody with the make up as he came over and kissed me. I got some blood on my lip as he pulled back and smiled.

"What Jensen?"

"You have my fake blood on your lip Baby."

"Yuk, wipe it off please."

His shirt was all bloody so he used that to wipe away the blood. He said, "There all done. Are you alright?"

"Yes I am I faced my demons with the help of Clif and Bob holding my hands. But I feel really good I got through it all."

"I'm proud of you Baby you did good."

Jared and Misha came over too and Jared said, "Hey look at you?"

"Yeah look at me I'm still here and grateful for not having a attack."

Misha said, "I'm glad your alright."

"Thanks Misha. You all better go get cleaned up. As I looked at Bob and said, "How long until the next scene Bob?"

"Maybe 10 minutes."

"Ok, you've got 10 minutes to change costume now move it," as I giggle at them.

They all ran out of the building to wardrobe to change and wipe all the blood of their faces and arms. 

Bob said, "They really do what you ask of them."

"Yep it's an understanding we have. If they don't I will kick their asses."

Bob and Clif both laughed and I joined in.

They finished filming early so I could go to my appointment as Bob comes over and said, "hope everything goes well with your appointment Y/N?"

"Thanks Bob," as he walks away.

Jensen said, "You ready to go Baby?"

"Yeah I guess."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just worried about the appointment."

"It will be fine promise," I tried to smile but it didn't quite reach my eyes.

Jared, Misha and Clif came over and Jared looked at me and said, "What's wrong Princess?"

"I'm fine really."

"No you're not," said Misha.

"I'm just a little worried about my appointment today."

"Why what's got you worried Y/N," Clif said.

"I have to tell her everything what if she tells me I'm not going to be a good parent or that one day you might not bring me out of an attack."

Jensen saw the tears threatening to fall when he said, "Hey, look at me."

I turned to look a him when he said, "we will always fight for you Baby. We will always be here and we will continue to support and comfort you as much as you need us too."

He wiped the tears away and kissed my nose and Jared said, "Princess no matter what Daniela said today you are always going to be an amazing person with our kids and we love you for how far you have come. It wasn't easy for you to move and get used to a different country with people you barely knew but you did. You amaze us each day with a new battle as you are determine to conquer it which you do. We are proud of you Princess."

"Just look at what you did today you made it through the fight scene and you're on your way to see your therapist," Misha said. 

Clif said, "Are you ready to go. I will drop you both off and then take Jared and Misha home. I will come back and pick you up after. If that's ok."

"Yes that's fine," Jensen said. 

We all got in the SUV and Clif dropped Jensen and myself out front of the office. I was standing there just looking at the building when Jensen said, "I will be with you every step. I'm not going anywhere promise. If she decides we cant have children then we will work it out."

"Jensen I sorry I don't think I can go in. I don't want to disappoint you and I know it will bring a wedge in our relationship you  won't want me anymore. Yeah you will for awhile until you realise it just going to be us for the rest of our lives. Maybe I should leave and let you find some who can give you a family?" As my breathing hitched holding back the tears of overwhelming sadness.

He pulled my chin up as I dropped it down and said, "If we can't have children I'm not going to love you any less because of it. You are the one I want to be with children are an added bonus. Remember no matter what I love you."

A tear slipped down my face as he wipes it away and kisses me gently on the lips and then rests his forehead on mine until my breathing had settled. 

"Come let's do this together," as he squeezed my hand for a second as I needed it for the crutches. I shook my head and we moved into the building. We arrived and the receptionist knew who I was and said, "Daniela won't be long please take a seat."

I smiled as Jensen and I went over to the nearest seats. I sat and rested the crutches on my shoulder as Jensen gripped my hands to stop me from twisting them. 

Daniela came out about 10 minutes later and called me in. Jensen gave me a smile which he was showing his support.

Daniela said, "Hello Y/N, Jensen."

I said, "Hello Daniela, how have you been?" Jensen smiles and nods his head in reply. 

"Good and you?"

Jensen smile turned sad as Daniela picked up in the cue he was given her.

"I'm good I guess?"

"You guess what's been happening?" as she looks at Jensen for some idea to how bad it was.

"I well um kind of had an attack at work and Jensen wasn't there it help me. But Jared and Misha brought me back."

"Ok, so what was happening to bring on the attack?" as she directed the question to Jensen.

"We were doing a fight scene and it kind of brought on an attack."

"Right so Y/N you went into an attack. Where were you Jensen?"

"I was at wardrobe getting changed and Clif came and got me."

"So what happened before you arrived Jensen?"

"Jared and Misha said, "she was screaming and calling out. They stopped and came over to help her."

"Jared and Misha was talking to me and I couldn't hear them. So Jared remembered what Jensen does as he touches my face. He did that and it brought me back."

"Daniela this question has been bothering us every since Y/N had her first flashback. Can she get stuck in the memory and not return to us?"

She saw the worried looks on our faces and she gave us a soft smile and said, "No, she can't we will work on techniques for you and Y/N to work out a memory for real life. Once she realises they are just memories and can't hurt her they will become less frequent and hopefully all together stop. As she had one at the work and it was a fight scene I believe it may have triggered an abusive memory of her being beaten. If we hypnotised you and work through the memories you will also become less sensitive to the memory."

"Daniela I would really like to try to get rid of the memories which trigger me. But there is something else I haven't told you yet?"

She looked at me and said, "What's else do you want to say Y/N?"

"I had a nightmare and again Jensen couldn't bring me out not until.....," I blushed.

"Until?"

"He kissed me. But my dream was about me hurting my child and my friends children too. They called me a monster and told me to leave. Will I hurt my children?" when a tear slipped down my face. Jensen saw and held my hand tighter and wiped the tear away.

Daneila watched the touching emotion between us and she said, " No just because you were abuse there is no evidence to say you will abuse your children. Once we work through all this and they are no longer triggers then you should have a happy and  normal life. I will like to increase your medication though just for a month or two and see if that helps with the nightmares and with the attacks."

"Ok, are we going to do hypnosis today Daniela?'

"No, I think you have been through a lot already today but if you want too we can talk about things Jensen can do to help when your feeling unsettled."

Jensen smiled at the idea and I said, "Ok."

"Jensen can you take Y/N's hand. Gently rub circles on it and say reassuring words to her. That you love her, that she is important to you, anything to make her feel wanted and needed. Your friends can do this too as you can also get use to their touches as well."

"I can do that anything else?"

"You could touch her imitately like rub her shoulders or back. Touch her body and gently caress her. You could make love to her too so she feels the experience of having a loving relationship. Anything you want and feel she will enjoy."

"I'm not sure about sex yet Daniela I've never really experienced it before. I'm a little scare."

"It's ok you don't need to have sex just be imitated with each other show each other how comfortable you are with each other's touches. That way you won't be frightened when Jensen touches you."

"Ok, we can do that."

"Now let's try something here in my office. Jensen sit behind Y/N and let her rest on your chest."

He moved to sit behind me as he waited. I rested my head on his chest. 

"Now bring your arms to rest on her stomach." He brought both arms around and rested them gently on my stomach. 

"Ok, now Y/N gently touch Jensen's arms and rubbed them and moved them to where you would like him to touch you."

I moved them so his arms were resting on my thighs as he gently rubbed along my thigh and legs. I was humming with contentment as he went slowly. 

"That's good, so start off slow and work your way up. You should try this at least three or four times a day when you can. More the better as you both will get use to your touches and it will become second nature to you both."

I had closed my eyes as Jensen said, "Baby you ok?"

"Hm great Jensen why?"

"We are still in Daniela's office."

"Oh, oh," when I realised what he was saying.

He laughed and said, "I guess that worked."

"Hm a little to well. I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be that's what I was aiming for," Daniela said, "for you too be relaxed and comfortable with Jensen."

"I guess it worked thank you Daniela."

"Ok, our time is up. Here is your scripts take them twice a day and continue the good work Jensen," as she smiles at him.

"When do you want to see me again?"

"In two weeks give you and Jensen time to practice getting to know each other."

"Ok, thank you Daniela it's been a really good session. Now I know we can have children without hurting them, it's lifted a weight off both our shoulders."

"Your welcome we will work on your memories next time."

"Bye Daniela," I said.

Jensen smirked and said, "Thanks Daniela it has helped us both."

"Your welcome Jensen bye now."

"Bye Daniela."

We left and had some time before Clif came so we went and got a coffee. I sat down and drank my hot chocolate and just looked at Jensen as he was watching me. We never said a word to each other but the look between us was enough. 

Clif arrived a short time later after Jensen called him. He said, "How did it go?"

"Amazingly well and she said, "I won't hurt my children Clif it's that's really good news.

"Yes that's great Baby girl."

Jensen smiled and I knew what he was thinking. I tapped his arm and Clif noticed.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing Daniela wants us to try some new things and I'm really into doing them."

I blushed a deep red when Jensen laughed as he turned and kissed me hard on the lips. 

Clif said, "that must have been one really good session?"

"Yep it was and I also can't wait to try out the new things." 

Jensen looked at me and grinned from ear to ear. Clif pulled up a little while longer and said, "see you both tomorrow 8am."

"Yep see you tomorrow Clif."

"Thanks man see you tomorrow."

"Bye," as he drove away.

As soon as we got in the door Jensen all but picked me up and climbed up the stairs. He had a mischievous smile on his face as he lowered me to my bed. 

As I look at him he eyes sparkled with love and happiness. I've never felt this much love before and I knew Jensen would love me always.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kind comments and kudos as always much appreciated. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and sorry it is so long.
> 
> Will update again as soon as I can. 
> 
> Next chapter Jensen and the Reader fool around a lot. Maybe a sexual experience without having sex. Sex will come later.


	24. Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen and the Reader become more imitate with each other and explore each other's bodies. The Reader see a soft and gently side to Jensen and she likes it. Reader makes a decide to start the Organisation for abused kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jensen and the Reader explore and become imitate with each other. Jensen shows the Reader a softer side to him as he lets her explore his body.
> 
> There will be more imitate moments with them as they get to know each other's bodies slowly as the Reader has never been touched imitate before. So I thought I would take it very slow with them both. 
> 
> I did a lot of research into how to be imitate without going to far. It's called Sensate focus I'm not saying I'm going to follow all of it but it helped with my research. 
> 
> Warnings: imitate with each other, nothing sexual or sex, gently caresses and soft rubs, massage, trusting in each other, being content and completely comfortable with each other.
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Attention: I need your help I need to come up with a name for the Organisation. I would like to use an acronym like GISHWSHES but it is harder than I thought. So I was hoping you all could help me with the name it will be our Organisation. So please give me some names and maybe if we get enough we could have a vote on the best one. Thanks 
> 
> Comments always appreciated helps me as a writer. I hope you like this chapter?
> 
> Sorry this took so long to post as I've been very busy I will try to post fortnightly but sometimes it may be hard. So please forgive the late post.

Jensen looked at me lying there all spread out on the bed. He lies down next to me and just looks into my eyes. His eyes had become a shade darker and I was hypnosis by their colour. He moves his hand to my face as he  gently rubs down my cheek.

"Is this ok Baby?"

"Hm it's nice."

He continued to just rub my cheek as he takes my chin in his fingers and he moves above me to kiss me. It was a soft kiss as he just wanted to kiss me. I smile at him and he smirks at me. He then moves a little closer so there is no room between us. He is lying on top of me as I took he weight. It felt nice to be this close to him.

He moves his mouth over mine again as it becomes more intense and hungry. He's tongue touched my lip as he wanted to enter my mouth as I open for him. He tongue touched mine I will never get use to the feeling of complete and utter desire for his mouth on mine. He deepens the kiss as his hands travel to my breast and mine travel to his very firm ass. As I squeeze gently and he moans into the kiss.

He starts to unbutton my shirt as he squeezes my breast and then he moved his hand inside of my bra. I was not sure what to do as I push him off me. He looked stunned and said, "Baby what's wrong I thought......." and stopped.

"I'm sorry Jensen I'm still a little afraid of what could happen?"

It took him a moment to realise I was talking about sex. "You mean us having sex?"

"Yes I'm not experienced like you are Jensen. What if I don't enjoy it or you don't you know?" As my eyes drift down to his pants.

He saw and said, "If I don't orgasm that's what you were saying?"

"Yes what if you don't orgasm."

"Ok, I have an idea?"

"What Jensen?"

"How about we go down stairs in front of the fire and explore each other's bodies before we do anything sexual like sex."

I would like that Jay can we."

"That's what Daniela wanted for us too do. How about we start simple like explore each other's face, hands, arms and feet."

So lifts me in his arms as we make our way down stairs. He sits me on the lounge as he puts a blanket down and some comfy pillows. He then lifts me again and puts me on the comfy pillow. I had my legs out wide as I couldn't bend my sore knee. He sat down opposite me as he gently lifts my legs so they are resting over his.

Jensen had put on some soft music and lit some candles and turned the light and phones off before he sat down. It looked beautiful with the fire crackling in the background. He definitely knew how to set the mood for us. 

Then he just looks at me. We just look at each other for what seemed like an eternity. I looked at his soft pink lips as I wanted to touch them. He saw me looking and grabbed my hand as I gently caressed his lips as his kisses my fingers. I explored his mouth and lips until I knew every shape and curve. He just sits their passively and let me explore his face.

I moved my hands to his nose as I touched it, it wasn't a big nose but it was soft and defined it looked a perfect shape for his face. I then ghosted my hands over his freckles over his face. They looked like little stars on a beautiful canvas of his face which were adorable. I had to touch them so I did, I then moved my hands to his eyes. He had closed his gorgeous green eyes as I ran my hand over his eyelashes and eyebrows gently rubbing them. 

I then continued my exploring and rubbed my hands down his cheeks caressing gently as he leans into my touch. He had a little scruff on his face as I rub my hand down it. It was sexy as and I couldn't think of anything better on Jensen. He looked absolutely gorgeous as I rubbed my hands through his hair. I moved my hands to his and held them as I looked and explored his hands. As I rubbed his wrist and fingers as I circled his palm with my fingers. 

I looked at him and smiled as I moved my hands to his shoes and pulled them off with his socks. As I looked at his perfect feet I started to rub his left foot as he moaned at my massage. I moved my hands over his foot as I rubbed the knots out of it. He was moaning in pleasure as he looks at me with surprise at how good I was at massaging his foot. I move to the other foot and massage it as well. He was so relaxed his body was also relaxed. I was watching his face he was so lost in the pleasure. I continued to do it for a few more minutes. 

My hands moved on there own after that I explored his arms as I rubbed my hands up and down them. He was just watching me with a smile. I was totally comfortable with touching Jensen and he was completely comfortable with me touching him. I enjoy touching him in a imitate way there was no pressure to be sexual or have sex. It was easy and comfortable for us both. 

I looked him in the eyes as I kissed him. It was an soft kiss as my tongue explored his mouth. He deepened the kiss until we both were breathless.

He said, "You alright Baby?"

"Yes great this is nice Jay."

"You ready for me to do the touching now."

"Yes Jay please."

He looked at me as he took my shoes off and started with my feet first. He was gentle with massaging my foot with my sore knee. He rubbed and squeezed my toes and rubbed under my foot and then massaged the whole foot. It was nice as I was moaning in pleasure. It was different and I have never had a foot massage before so I was going to enjoy it while I can. He bend down and kissed the top of my foot as he looks me in the eyes. Then he moves to other foot and does the same thing. I was in complete bliss as he continues his massaging. He stops and grabs my hand and then rubs the palm and twines our fingers together as he kisses each finger. It the most erotic feeling ever to have him kiss my fingers and palm. He then gently massages them one at a time. Then he moves to the other hand and does the same again. I was completely lost in the overwhelming desire I felt for him.

He moves me closer to him so there is hardly any space between us as he kisses my nose and rests his forehead against mine for a few minutes. This was so imitate I was over whelmed with how caring and gently he was being. He pulls back and rubs my cheek with his thumb. He looks into my eyes as he kisses each eye. I was breathless with anticipation to what he would do next. We haven't done anything sexual as we were both still fully clothed. I was alright with us just exploring each other. He moved his hands over my eyes and eyebrows. A shiver went down my spine as he gently smoothed his fingers over them. He put his hands through my long hair as he massages my head for a few minutes as I relax under his hands. 

He is watching me as my eyes are closed as I am almost boneless with the intensity of the massage. I start to rock forward when he gently grabbed me and said, "You alright Y/N?"

"Hm, just very relaxed don't stop Jay it's nice. I like it when you touch me and make me feel special and loved."

"You are loved and I will always do this with you."

I straightened my body as Jensen continued his exploration of my face. He touches my nose as it was small but just the right size. He rubbed my lips as I did what he did and kissed his fingers as he lifts my chin and kisses me. He hand had gone to the back of my neck as he pulls me closer still. He rubs my ear as he continues to kiss me. He explores my mouth with his tongue but he bit my lip. It didn't hurt it was wow amazing and I wanted more. 

We finally broken away as he looked me in the eyes as he rubs both my cheeks with his hands as l mewl in peace and contentment. The music had stopped playing during our exploration exact when I couldn't tell you. The candles were still burning and the fire crackled. I could hear both our breathing We were both breathless as we try to regain our breaths. This was just what I needed and it was amazing to felt this comfortable with each other. 

I said, "That was amazing Jay."

"Yeah I didn't want to go to far our first time. You happy with what we done."

"Yes very happy, thank you for not pushing for more Jay."

"It's ok I enjoyed this and touching you. We don't always have to have sex Baby touching like this is just as good. Next time we could explore a little further if you want too."

"That would be nice Jay."

"Hey I want you to feel comfortable with my touches and kisses."

"I know and I will and I do love your kisses Jay."

"Yeah," with a huge smirk on his face as he leans over and kisses me again. He thought of something as he was kissing me and said, "how about we go out for dinner tomorrow after work and enjoy ourselves, maybe even see a movie too."

"I would like that Jay very much."

"Ok, then it's a date."

 

He turns me so I'm resting on his chest as he moves us so he's resting against the lounge. He just holds me and rubs my hand. 

"Jay."

"Hm."

"I've been thinking?"

"About what Baby?"

"Maybe it's time to open the Organisation for the abused kids out there. I've been researching it a little it has to be an Organisation as a Foundation is for researching major illness."

"Really, you did and you want to do it."

"Yes, I'm a little scare the Board might say no."

"No, they won't when they see they have us coming with the deal."

"Really you, Jared and Misha would do this for me."

"Of course we will. We love you and it's for a good cause. We can talk with them tomorrow."

"You an amazing man Jay thank you."

"No, your the amazing one to want to help kids that were like you. That's takes a lot of strength and empathy and I love you more for it."

I turned and kissed his face as he eyes sparkle with love. We sit there and I'm looking into the fire when Jay asks, "You hungry?"

I hadn't really thought about food but I did feel hunger pains. I said, "Yes I am."

Jensen helped me up and he grabbed my crutches as we headed for the kitchen to make some food. He had his hand in the small of back as we entered the kitchen.

"What would you like my lady," with a exaggerated bow.  

I giggled as I said, "I'm not sure, you decide Jay?"

"Um, I'm gonna need music for this," as he puts on the IPod in the dock. It was my iPod he had brought me a few weeks ago. The song on was a Savage Garden song, "Truly Madly Deeply."

He picked the song up quick as he sang along with it. It was one of my favourite Savage Garden songs as it was half way through. 

I started to sing it with him as he came over and lifted me so my feet were on his as he danced us around the kitchen to the song. He was softly singing still as I was giggling as he moved us effortlessly. It was nice to laugh and have fun together our lives have been so serious up to this point. He was laughing to now a deep throaty laugh as the song finishes, he is still dancing me around the kitchen when the next song came on it was his voice he heard. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow wondering when I had time to put the song on there.

I said, "Jared and Misha did it for me just after you gave it to me. I asked them if they could? They called Richard in and he did it for me before you noticed."

"Oh, I see you like me singing?"

"I think your amazing singer Jay. I wish you could do it more often. I would listen to you sing all the time at home. It was one of the things I enjoyed in my life."

"Then I'm glad he did it for you."

"Really I thought...." he cut me off,  "I would be mad?"

"Yes."

"No, I'm not I'm glad it helps you and you enjoy listening to me sing."

"I always well Jensen."

He smiles and kisses me and said, "Ok, what are we going to have!" As he puts his hand to his cheek in a thinking pose. I'm trying not to laugh at the serious express he has on his face.

"I've got it," as he moves to the fridge and puts out all this food. He gets out the pan and puts some chicken strips in it. 

"What are we having? Do you need any help Jensen."

He looks at me and said, "Chicken stir fry with vegetables how does that sound."

"Mm I like stir fry," as I start cutting up the veggies for him to put in it. The music was still playing in the back ground when "eye of the tiger" came on. Jensen couldn't resist doing the dance as he was cooking. I was laughing so hard I had tears flowing down my face. He flipped the meat as it was cooked so he added the veggies while still doing the dance. He was shaking his very firm ass as I smacked it as he looks at me and smirks. I feel so blessed to have such a beautiful soul in my life. 

The food cooked and we sat down to eat. Jensen had changed my iPod for his as he put on some soft music. It was nice and peaceful as we ate in the lounge room on the lounge he had me facing him as we fed each other. I was eating some and some of it dribbled as Jensen kissed it away. It was sensual and exciting to eat like this. He knew how to make the butterflies flutter in my stomach. This whole night has been amazing with his touches and kisses. I felt comfortable with Jensen as he continue to touch me as much as possible. 

We finish eating as Jensen put the bowls in the dishwasher. He came back as he brought some ice cream. I discovered I like chocolate chip fudge ice cream. He likes Banana but he also liked to help eat mine. Which he did tonight he brought two spoons and we ate it out of the tub again he feeding it to me and I him. As we kissed I could taste it, as he licked my mouth as he hums and said, "taste nice Baby."

I said, "Hm I like this?"

"What the ice cream or the kisses?"

"Both and how close we are now it's feels amazing."

"Yeah, it does I like being this close to you."

"Jay I've had enough ice cream, I think I have brain freeze," as I put my hand to my head. 

"Yeah me too," I will be right back as he puts the ice cream away.

He comes back and lifts me off the lounge and on to the pillows as we laid down in front of the fire. He is rubbing my arm as he looks at me. He said, "God your beautiful."

I just look at him as he kisses me again. He takes his time exploring my mouth and lips as he bites gently on my lip. I open it as we explore each other mouth we just kiss lazily for a few minutes when he stops and kisses my forehead. He holds me in his arms just holding. I could feel his breath on my neck as he kisses me. He's breathing was rapid as we were both breathless from the lazy kissing. We both finally calmed our breathing as he turns me to look at him. We just look at each other, we didn't need words as our eyes told each other everything we needed to know.

I rested my hand on his face as his was rubbing circles on my arms. We were calm and content with each other. As we both fell asleep with my hand touching him and he touching me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your wonderful comments and kudos. Also for all the wonderful names you come up with it a great help to me. It's very much appreciated. 
> 
> Well try to post within the next 2 weeks. 
> 
> Sorry again for the late post. I hope you are all still with me on this journey with the Reader and Jensen.


	25. Courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader and Jensen have a more open relationship and can’t keep their hands off each other after there night of touching. They till the others a out it and they start to touch the Reader with her permission. She relaxes at their touches and enjoys them.   
> The Reader also asks Misha to set up the Organisation for abused kids as she has the courage to stand in front of the Board to ask for their help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader and Jensen feel comfortable with each other after there session of touching each other. Then the Reader tells the others and they start to touch her as she feels completely comfortable with them all.   
> The Reader is setting up her Organisation and is worried they won’t help fund her.   
> Jensen, Jared, Misha, Clif and Bob all support her with the Organisation. 
> 
> Sorry for being so long to post which may happen more frequently now. But I will update as soon as I can. I am still battling health issues at the moment so please stay with me. Thank you for your understanding. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Waenings: Lots of touching, sorry if I have forgot any warnings really tired and late here so I may have missed a few. Please forgive me if I have.
> 
> Still need names for the Organisation if you wish to let me know what your thinking?
> 
> All comments appreciated and feedback helps me as a writer. Thank you
> 
> Remember to Always Keep Fighting and your not alone.

We woke the next day as Jensen still had his hand on my waist. His hand was warm as he was still asleep as I ghosted my hand over his face.

As he hums in his sleep he opens his eyes to see me looking at him. I smile as I kiss him on the lips. I felt really comfortable and content lying there with him.

He said, "Morn'in Baby, sleep well?"

"Yes I did and you?"

"Yep and I just like being here holding you. We have another session after work today."

"Yeah I would like that," as I blushed and he smiles.

"You were like really comfortable yesterday when we were touching each other. Anything you like me doing?"

"I like this," as I moved my hand to his face as caressed it. "And you Jensen what did you like?"

"I liked you exploring my face with your hands like a blind person does. It felt amazing just to have you touch me."

"I'm glad maybe we we could explore more tonight?"

"Yeah that would be nice but I want you to be completely comfortable with touching me before we take it any further alright?"

"Yes I know and I will tell you if I'm not comfortable with anything we do."

"Good and now we better get up and shower as Clif, Jared and Misha will be here soon."

"Ok, but first," I kissed him long and passionately it was hot and he was surprised I was so open to kiss him like that.

"Wow, Baby that was hot."

"I know," I said, all breathless.

He got up as I pulled him back down for another quick kiss. We finally made it off the ground when he lifted me bridal style in his arms and we went upstairs to my bathroom. He put me down as I rested on the side of the tub.

He said, "You good or do you want some help?"

"Well if we weren’t  in a hurry I would say yes I’m fine but seeing how we are you want to have a quick bath with me."

"Your wish is my command Baby," as he filled the tub up and he put on the jets as he lifted me in and then he climbed in after.

I rested on his back as he washed me and it was soothing as he washed the ache out of my bones. Then I washed him and it was peaceful and simple as we cared for each other's bodies.

He hopped out and wrapped a towel around his waist as he lifts me out. He gives me the towel all the while his hand still touching me.

I dry off as he does as he helps me into our room. We dress and go down for breakfast he is carrying me down the stairs.

I said, "Jensen do you like carrying me?"

"I like being close to you."

"Oh, I do too."

We enter the kitchen as he stood me at the counter and he went to get my crutches for me. I was getting food out of the fridge which was directly behind me.

He saw and said, "Good choice."

I smiled as he gets out the waffle pan and we make waffles together. I had become a good cook thanks to Jensen teaching me how. He helped me with the waffles and we cooked them as we sat down to eat. He had put banana's, blueberries, strawberries and honey on top with ice cream. We were eating them when the doorbell rang.

I said, "Clif?"

"Probably," as he went to open the door and Clif was standing there with Jared and Misha.

They all came in and saw our waffles so they made them self some with the left over mixture and fruit so we all ate together. Jensen hand brushed mine and I smiled as Jared noticed.

"Is their something different with you too. Clif said, "you were acting weird when you can out of Daniela's office?"

I looked at Jensen who had hold off my hand and kissed it.

I said, "Yes Daniela wants me to get use of all your touches so I feel comfortable with you all. It's also to help if I have another flashback I will know who's helping me. So Jensen and I have been......." Jensen cuts in, "We have been practicing touching each other. It was incredible and we felt so content and comfortable we each other."

"We still have along way too go but it's a start for us both."

"So your saying you want us it touch you imitately like Jensen?"

"No, not like Jensen come here and I will show you Jared."

He walks over and sits in the chair next to me as I put my spare hand on his face as I moved it on his lips and nose and eyebrows.

"Like this, is what Jensen and I have begun doing but we will get more imitate as we become more comfortable we each other but you, Clif and Misha it will just be the face and the arms."

Jared said, "that was nice can I do with Gen."

"Of course it's very imitate just touching each other and have no more expectations."

Misha said, "I can see that."

"I will help you anyway I can Baby girl," Clif said.

"Thank you all."

Jensen said, "While we are here Y/N wanted to talk to you all."

Jared said, "What's up Princess?"

"I think I'm comfortable enough to set up the Organisation if your all are ready to help me."

Misha's eyes sparkled and said, "Of course we are. I will ring the board and set up a meeting."

"Really thank you Misha."

"We will help too Princess any way we can."

"I don't know what I did to deserve you all."

"You were who you are the kind and empathetic person we love," Clif said.

"I love you all too."

We put our dishes in the dishwashers as Jensen had his hand in the small of my back as we walk out to the car. We climb in as Misha was in the back with Jensen and myself. He looked at me and put his hand on my arm just gently resting it there.

Jensen looked at me and I smiled as he felt comfortable enough to touch me. It wasn’t an intrusive touch just a soft comfortable touch. He looked at me to see if I was alright with it and I smiled. He got a bit more bold then and touched my face. His hands were soft and warm. They were smaller than Jensen and felt different too. He gently caressed my face as Jared turned around to see what was happening as I was giggling.

He said, "Misha I don't think you are suppose to make her laugh."

"I'm not doing it intentionally she seems to find it funny."

"Oh, I don't it's your ring it tickles and feels like butterflies on my face."

"I see shall I take it off."

"No it's nice and I will know it's you."

He smiles as he now realised I wasn't laughing at him it was his ring that Vicki made him. He continued to touch my face while Jensen held my hand and was rubbing circles on it. It felt nice being gently touched and I wasn't afraid of them touching me it was just another milestone in my recovery towards getting better. 

We arrived a short time later when Bob noticed us all and smiled. He said, "morning all." We all said, "morning back."

Jensen was walking with me as his hand was in the small of my back as Jared's hand was resting on my shoulder. He was smiling like it was a everyday occurrence. I took my seat as Jensen slowly kisses me and then Jared kisses my head. Misha taps my shoulder as Clif stands behind me with his hand on my shoulder as I put my hand on his. Bob looked as he was wondering what was going on.

I said, "You all better get to wardrobe you have," as I looked at Bob. He said, "ten minutes for the first scene." 

"Right ten minutes so move it or lose it," they all laughed all the way to wardrobe.

Bob looked as Clif still had his hand on my shoulder as he moves it to gently caress my face.

He said, "something's different with you and everyone. Do I want to know what's happening?"

I laughed and said, "I was going to tell you Bob. Remember I went to see my therapist?"

"Yes and what did she say?"

"She has told me to get use of people around me touching me. If I have another attack it will help bring me out and also make me comfortable with the people I am around like Jared, Misha, Clif and you."

"So you want me to touch you too?"

"If you would like to. It's not going to be as imitate as Jensen and I but you can do what Clif is doing. Touching my face, wrist and arms will be enough for you all." 

He hesitated even as I grabbed his hand and rested it on my hand. He smiled when I didn't pull back. He moved his hand over mine as he looks at my face. He was happy as he just held my hand.

Jensen, Jared and Misha came back and saw Bob. Jensen said, "She told you?"

"Yeah Jensen she told me."

"Are you ok with this?"

"I was a little unsure but when Y/N said, “it's only the face, hands and arm I was ok with it. Hence me now holding her hand."

"Ok, Bob you ready for them to work?"

"Yes," as he lets go of my hand and turns to give them directions. "Ok, first scene rehearsal first then we shoot it. Ok, marks everyone and action."

They rehearse the first scene and I’m basically watching Jensen my eyes roaming over his body. I’ve never noticed his strength in his legs and upper body as he is doing a fight scene. He punches the guy in the face. It’s all fake but the way he pulls his arm back for the connecting blow. I kind of sighed as my eyes were still on him, never leaving him.

Clif looks at me and smiles as he knows why I am sighing so loudly. The scene finished when Jensen turned to look at me it was the most intense look I’ve ever seen on his face. He winks at me as I almost melt in my seat. I never knew just touching each other would have this much effect on me. I can also see it in Jensen’s eyes how much he wanted to touch me. 

Bob said, “Ok, action,” as they did the scene again. 

I was squirming in my seat when he looked at me and he smiled that amazing smile. It literally took my breath away. Clif said, “Y/N are you alright?” 

 “Mm hm I’m just admiring Jensen and his body. Shit did I say that out loud.”

He laughed and said, ”Yep, do I want to know?”

”Probably not,” as I giggle. 

Bob said, “cut everyone take 5 minutes.”

Jensen looked at me and headed over to me where he touched my face like a starving man. As I touched his, I pulled him down for a kiss. 

“God Baby all I could think about was touching you. I was hard not to come over here and just do it.”

”Yeah I know what you mean,” all breathless as a blush creeped up my face. 

He bends down and said, “We are going to have an amazing night tonight Baby,” with a added wink. 

Jared comes over and said, “Hey Princess you alright you look a little flushed.”

I couldn’t help but smile at him as Clif rolls his eyes. Jared saw Clif and smiled as he knew what was going on. He came over and said, “Can I touch you.”

”Of course,” as he puts his hand on my face as Jensen had his hand on the other side. He watched Jensen as he stroked down my face and rub my cheek. I was totally lost in the sensation when Bob said, “Ok, Everyone next scene.”

Bob was looking at me how content I was with them touching me and said, “Ok, we need to talk?”

We all stopped as he said, “I know it’s important for Y/N to get used of our touches but not while we are filming. It’s important we all concentrate on work. Y/N I hope you will understand where I’m coming from with this.”

I smiled and said, “Of course Bob sorry for the disruption it won’t happen again.”

”It’s ok but we need to work or we won’t finished this episode on time.”

Jensen said, “Sorry Bob we will not do anything while we are filming or rehearsal.”

”Thanks Jensen.”

”Ok, Let’s get back to work everyone,” I said.

Bob smiled as the guys walked over and did the next scene we worked solidly for five hours when Bob called an hour break for lunch. 

Jensen walked over to me and said, “You hungry Baby?”

”Yeah but not for food,” as I looked him straight in the eyes. 

He gave me my crutches as we headed to his trailer. Clif stayed to have something to eat. I wasn’t moving fast enough so Jensen picked me up as I grabbed my crutches before they fell as he flung open the door and threw me on the bed.

He climbed on next to me and he looked into my eyes and said, “God your beautiful,” as he kissed me deeply and sensually. He had his hand rested on my face and the other on my waist as we just lazily kissing each other. It’s like we were hungry for each other. 

It was nice and calm as he pulls me up so I’m in his lap as he never broke the kiss. It’s turns more heated as his arm is around me holding me to him. Our tongues were dancing to their own beat as I was feeling light headed as I finally broke the contact. I was all breathless as was Jensen. 

 We just looked at each other when my stomach growled for food. We both burst out laughing when there was a knock on Jensen’s trailer door. 

Jared shouted out, “You both decent in there. Misha and I brought you some food.”

Jensen gives me a tender kiss on the lips as he gets up to open his trailer door. Jared has a big smirk on his face as he and Misha bring in the food. 

I’m still half lying half sitting on the bed. “We didn’t interrupt anything did we?” Misha said. 

“Well yes and no, my stomach was telling me I was hungry so you and Jared came at the right time,” as they looked at my kiss swollen lips. 

Jared said, “We brought croissants with ham and cheese. Coffee for Jensen and a hot chocolate for you.”

”Thanks man I need a coffee right now,” he said to Jared.

Misha handed me a croissant and my hot chocolate as I unwrap it, eating it slowly. Jensen had most of his eaten before I had taken my first bite. Misha and Jared were almost as quick. I looked at Jensen and their was a twinkle in his eyes and I blushed. 

Jared ask “Y/N may I try to touching you like Jensen does?”

I smiled and said, “sure you can I would like that.”

He moved over towards me on the bed when he hesitated touching me. He looked at Jensen for permission first as he didn’t want to piss his best friend/brother off by touching his girl. 

He smiled and nodded his approval as I grabbed his hand and put it on my face. I said, “it’s ok Jared.”

I knew Jared’s hand as it was bigger and a lot warmer than Jensen’s and Misha’s but he was being just as gentle. Misha watched quietly as he learnt from Jared what to do.

I was humming softly when his hand moved over my face. He let his hand just gently stroke my cheek as I moved my face more into his hand. It was nice and I felt totally comfortable with him touching me. It’s not as imitate as Jensen’s touches but nice all the same. 

I had closed my eyes when he said, “Princess open your eyes.”

I opened my eyes as he looks into them. I never really looked at his eyes before they were a different shade. One minute they were hazel, then blue and even a little brown. Unlike Jensen’s eyes they are green, with flecks of brown in them. When he is aroused they go a shade darker and look as sexy as hell. 

Misha’s eyes are are a dark blue when you look at them you basic see the sky above in them. I always wished for eyes that colour as mine as just a plain boring colour. I observed Jared’s face as I lifted my hand as he nodded it was ok.

I explored his face with my hands as he closed his eyes. I brushed over his eyebrows and lips. Then his eyes and run my hands through his hair. I forgot how soft his hair felt. Jensen’s was a lot shorter than Jared’s as I ran my fingers all the way through it. It was glorious and I knew I had long hair but Jared’s looked amazing all the time. 

Jared had moved his hand and mimic what I was doing to him as he ran his hands through my hair. He said, “You have amazing hair Princess and I love how long you have it.”

Jensen said, “I know right it beautiful and soft and smells amazing like apples all the time.”

Misha said, “We better get back or Bob will be pissed as we told him we wouldn’t do this while filming.”

”Well technically we are not filming it’s our break and we can do whatever we want to during it,” I said.

Jensen said, “She’s right. How do you feel Baby?”

”Good and Jared how about you?”

”It feels weird touching someone other than my wife but I know this is necessary for your recovery. Plus I can practice on Gen and she’s going to love it.”

”Jared you know it’s not about the sex. It’s to help make us feel comfortable with each other, before we even think about having sex.”

”I know it will be nice to just touch each other imitately and not have to worry about sex.”

Jensen said, “Its much more imitate than sex is. As we get to explore each other’s bodies until we are comfortable enough with each other.”

Misha said, “We can use this technique on our wives and will they enjoy it.”

”Hey we did it last night and it was wonderful. It was nice without the pressure to have sex,” I said. 

“I feel closer to Y/N and all I want to do is touch her. It’s like I’m possessed but it’s not in a sexual way. It’s more like been near her and feeling her.”

I laughed as I said, “We basically can’t keep our hands off each other.”

Then Jared and Misha laughed too and Jared said, “We’ve noticed since we saw you this morning.”

I blushed as Jensen kisses my hand and holds it to his face. Then there was a knock on the door, “5 minutes Jensen.”

I moved to get up but Jared was still sitting on the bed and in my way. I said, “Jared can you please move so I can get up.”

”Oh, sorry sure thing.”

As he gets up he helps me and Jensen gives me my crutches. We are walking out when Misha’s phone rings. 

He answers it and it’s the board for Random Acts as Misha explains everything to them. 

He said, “Ok, I will tell her and let you know if it’s alright, yes bye.”

I looked at Misha and he smiles as I said, “well what did they say Misha?”

”Come Misha don’t leave us hanging here,” Jensen said.

”Misha your killing us,” as Jared looks at him waiting for a answer.

”They want to meet with you in a couple of days. I’m to bring you to the panel and we explain everything to them.”

”I god I’m really nervous now. I have to get it all prepared and organised. I don’t even have a name Misha what are we going to call it?”

”We have a couple of days to think about it. Don’t worry we will think of a good name for the Organisation promise,”Misha said.

”You will be great and they will love you,” Jensen said.

Jared said, “Is there anything we can do to help with the presentation?”

”I don’t know Jared I will have to work on it tonight and let you know tomorrow?”

He could See I was getting stressed out as he touched my shoulder as we walked back to the set. Bob said, “Ok let’s get started.”

l said, “Ok where do you want them Bob?”

”Wardrobe to get them in the clothes for the next scene.”

”Of course sorry Bob,” he looked at me wondering what was going on. “Ok, Jay, Jared and Misha wardrobe.”

Jensen noticed I was off my game and squeezed my hand before they walked out.

Bob said, “Y/N are you alright? You seem distracted?”

”Um, yeah sorry Bob. Misha got a call from the board and I can present the Organisation before them in a few days. I’m kind of nervous and distracted with what I’m going to say to get them to help fund it.”

He came over and held my hands and looked me in the eyes and said, “You will work it out! You are amazing and know all,about this from your own experience just tell them what’s in your heart and they will fall in love with the idea.”

”Yeah I do know about this don’t I. I could tell them about my experiences and Jensen, Jared and Misha are going to help me with this. I hope it alright we take some time off in a couple of days. I think Misha said, “two days.”

”Of course we all,will be their to help you with this. I wouldn’t let a good cause like this pass us by.”

”Really you will help me too Bob.”

”Yes and I think Cliff will also.”

Clif said, “Of course I will help.”

”Thank you so much both of you.”

Jesnen, Jared and Misha returned and saw Bob holding my hand. Jensen looked wondering what has happened.

Bob said, “She was telling Cliff and me about the board and getting the Organisation set up. She was a bit unsettled so I was giving her some support.”

”Bob it’s ok you don’t have to explain to Jensen he knew something was wrong when he left.”

”How did you know I knew Baby?”

”Your facial expressions showed worry and I know how to read them.”

”So you good now Baby’s?”

”I’m still nervous but Bob told me to tell them my story and that is something I know well.”

”That you do Baby.”

”Ok, places everyone, we will run through the scene first and then do then the take. Ok on my mark. Mark.”

The boys did their scenes as I quietly watched them. We worked solidly for another five hours and Bob called it a day. We had worked for 10 hours and we all were getting tired so it was time to go home. 

Jensen said, “Baby you still want to go to dinner and a movie?”

”No, I’m tired and I still need to work out my presentation for the board.”

Misha said, “Hey we can also speak to help with the funding of the Organisation.”

”I can tell them what I’ve seen since you’ve been living here with us if that helps Baby.”

”It would be good I think if it’s just me talking and telling my story as I will be more personal for me. As I’m the one who’s trying to get the help. They may think Yeah I have other people speaking for me. But thank you if I can’t do it I will ask you all to help me.”

”Ok Princess we understand where your coming from.”

”Thanks Jared.”

As we all walk out to the car as Clif drops Jensen and me off first as they kissed me goodbye. I hobbled slowly into the house as Jensen notices and asks what’s wrong. 

“Hey what’s wrong?”

”I really would like to touch you but I’m to tired.”

He smiles and said, “It’s ok Baby we can just look at each other and touch each other’s faces.”

We head up to bed as I go up the stairs slowly as I have no energy left in me. Jensen is woeeied something else might be happening with me. 

We finally reach my bedroom where I lie down and curl up on the quilt. He said, “You want a bath?”

”No too tired Jay,” as I yawn and close my eyes. 

“Hey you need to put you PJ’s on.”

I was already asleep as he took my shoes off and put me under the covers as he strips down and climbs in next to me. He kisses me softly on the lips as I hum in my sleep. 

“Are you awake Baby’s?”

”No sleeping,” I whisper as I open my eyes.

I look into his beautiful green eyes as he moves some hair from my face. He gently rubs my cheek with his thumb. He moves to kiss my nose and then my cheek and then my mouth. It was a hungry kiss like he has been holding back all day. Then he  soften the kiss as I open my mouth so he could explore with his tongue. I was touching his face as he kissed me. 

It was a gently yet also hot kiss. He knew how to make my stomach get butterflies in it. It happened each time he kissed me or even look at me. I still couldn’t believe he chose me to spend his life with and love each and every day. I knew I was the luckiest girl in the world to have Jensen Ackles hit TV star love me. But to me he was just Jensen one of the guys who saved my life. For that I would be forever grateful to them. 

I closed my eyes again as Jensen pulled me into his arms. 

“I love you Jay, more each day you are my hero.”

”I love you Baby.”

As we both closed our eyes and went to sleep. Tomorrow I will have to work out what I’m going  to say to the board and Jensen and I will have to have an early session before work. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your wonderful amazing comments and kudos they mean a lot to me as the writer.   
> Thank you for reading my story. 
> 
> Remember to Always Keep Fighting. 
> 
> Next chapter up soon as I can. It will be the board meeting and the new name for the Organisation. I’m still taking names if you are interested in making one up for me.


	26. The Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader and Jensen are still enjoying their session where they are becoming more comfortable with each other. The Reader helps Richard out with reading the script for him with the guys on set. Richard films it and decides to show the Producers and Directors of the show. They are gettin gready for meeting and still trying to work out a name for the Organisation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jensen and the Reader are becoming closer and more comfortable with each other. The Reader is filmed by Richard while doing a rehearsal with the guys as a fill in for Marys character. 
> 
> Sorry this chapter took so long as I’m still not well and won’t be until December once I get this sorted out. I also found out how close my life is to the Readers. I was diagnosed with Clinical depression, anxiety and PTSD. So I have also been dealing with that also. I have been seeing a counsellor once a week for the last few weeks. 
> 
> I hope I can get myself back to full health and be able to continue the story. But at the moment I’m not at peak form and need some time to get there. So my posts will be when I can at the moment. I am sorry for any inconvenience for this as I am dealing with alot of things.  
> I am so sorry. 
> 
> Warnings: coarse language, tickling, touching, laughing, sorry if I leave anything out.
> 
> unbetaed all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Thanks you to Samsgirlfriend for the name suggest I have put it in the story but still deciding on a name. 
> 
> Please all comments are welcome and encouraged. Hope you enjoy this chapter?

Jensen woke a lot earlier than me as he watched me sleep. I had a restless night worrying about the meeting but he is letting me sleep in. He gently moves a bit of hair from my face as he just looks at me sleeping peacefully. He gently gets out of bed as he makes his way down stairs and gets things ready for our next session. He knew what he wanted so he put the pillows on the floor and the soft music in the player. He had pulled the curtains across and looked outside and decided to set it all up outside in the beautiful sunshine. He knew it wouldn’t be here much longer as the colder weather will be here soon. 

He pulls a blanket down and set it under the apple tree the first time we kisses here. It was a shame the apples had stopped growing and now the tree was bare but had a lovely green foliage to it. The day was bright and cool as the breeze was gentle as it swayed the leaves. He smiled to himself when he thought of letting the birds be our music today. They were singing a pretty tune as they chirped around in the tree.

He walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water as he headed back upstairs to see if I was awake. He knew we needed enough time to have our session without interruption. He was looking down at me as he dipped his head and kissed my lips. 

He said, “Hey sleepy head you gonna get up?”

I moaned, “no too tired need more sleep.”

He laughs gently as he whispers, “come on Baby we have a session to do remember we were to tired last night.”

”Hm as I roll over and pull the blankets above my head.”

”Ok, then I will go have a shower and get breakfast organised and we won’t do the session,”  as he deadpanned as he was looking forward to it.

I heard his voice voided of all emotion and said, “wait Jay I’m coming. Come help me up.”

He all but lifted me to my feet as he grabbed the crutches and helped me down the stairs. 

I was trying not to laugh at his eagerness to start our session. I look around the lounge room and I raised an eyebrow as he heads outside. I follow and he has a blanket with our pillows under the apple tree. 

He helps me sit on my pillow as he sits on his. He just looks at me all dishelved and my hairs a mess. He said, “your beautiful Baby.”

He waits for me to start but I just look at him with his sexy bed hair and his eyes look so green this morning. I still hadn’t touched him when he looked at me wondering why I was taking so long. I smile as I move my hand to his face and rub my hand along his jaw. It flexed slightly at my touch as he waits for me to move my hand. I stopped when I heard the birds singing as he looks to where I was looking. It was two pretty little birds singing together it was so sweet.

I returned my attention back to Jensen as I touch his mouth and nose. I gently touched his eyes as I slowly moved my hand down his chest to his waist as I smiled and started to tickle him. He bucked as I tickled him mercilessly. He was laughing a deep throaty laugh as it was infectious and I laughed too. 

He said, “give,” as I stopped I saw the mischievous look in his eyes and knew he had something planned. He basically rolled on top of me and tickled me until I couldn't breath. I was gasping for air when I said, “Alright I give up, point taken.”

He stopped and just looked me in the eyes and smiled. He hand was tracing the fine lines of my face as he wanted to remember ever line and curve. He closes his eyes just touching my face for what seemed like forever when he shifted his weight and moved off me. He pulled me up as he run his hands through my long hair. 

It was exciting and my body was reacting to his touch as I moaned with contentment. He grabbed my hand and put it on his chest as I rubbed down his body. He rubbed my shoulders as I rubbed his chest we were in complete sync with each other. As we explored each other’s bodies. I moved my hand to his face and just rested it lightly on his cheek. He moved his hands and rubbed my arms. It was nice as the birds were singing as my heart was pounding. I wondered if Jensen’s was pounding too or if he felt light headed and giddy from the pleasure and comfort we felt for each other. He moves and put his hand around my neck as he pulls me in for a passionate kiss as he took over completely. The kiss wasn’t light or soft it was demand and sensual.

I pulled away gasping for air as I said, “Wow Jensen.”

He gives me the most brilliant dazzling sexy smile I’ve ever seen on his face. He said, “Sorry Baby got carried away.”

I blushed and said, “No, I liked it.”

He gives me a smirk and another heated kiss as his mouth moves over mine. 

“We should go and shower and have breakfast?”

”Yep Clif, Jared and Misha will be here soon.”

”Jensen?”

”Yeah Baby,” as he looks at me with his eyebrow raised. 

“What are we doing tonight?”

”Why?”

”I need to get everything ready for our meeting tomorrow I was wondering if you could help me come up with a name?”

He smiles and said, “Of course I will help you, we are in this together. But we better move or we won’t be ready on time.”

He helps me up as he just strokes my face with his thumb it was soft and tender. We walk inside as we head upstairs as we both shower well I actually had a bath but that doesn’t matter as I got ready for the day. I had put on a skirt and a blouse with a jacket as I tied my hair in a lose bun. Jensen had on a very tight pair of jeans which hugged his curves and a blue henley with a jacket he looked really hot. 

We went down stairs to make breakfast as we cooked bacon and eggs with toast. Jensen had other things like harsh brown and sausage with his. I just had bacon and eggs as he fed me some of his hash brown it wasn’t to bad. We sat as I looked at him and said, “Jay are you still going to help me with the name?”

”Sure Baby maybe we could ask Misha and Jared to help as well?”

”I would like that. I was thinking maybe something with a acronym like GISHWHES, Im not sure yet depends on what we come up with.”

He had a serious look on his face and said, “do you want anything about kids being abused?”

”I think it would be good to have that in there but not necessary.”

”Ok, Its going to be world wide as well.”

”Yes hopefully if they let me.”

“I will get the guys to think on it all day for you ok.”

”Thanks Jay.”

He gets up and gives me a sweet kiss.  

We finish eating when there is a knock on the door I get up to answer it. I open the door and I’m swepted off my feet by Jared. He puts me down and kisses me on the lips. 

I was surprised and I looked dumbfounded as he's never kissed me on the lips before. He saw the look and said, “Oh sorry but I wanted to thank you.”

”What for Jared I didn’t do anything?”

”Um, Yeah,” he went all shy and blushed. “Gen and I tried the touching last night and it was incredible we were so relaxed with each other it was nice. We just touched each other and cuddled it was peaceful.”

”I'm glad Jared, that you and Gen enjoyed it.”

”We are going to do it again tonight.”

Jensen said, “Do what again tonight?”

”Jared and Gen have been trying out our touching sessions on each other.”

His eyebrows raised, “Oh really.”

”Yep and Gen loves it Jay it’s incredible and relaxing we’ve never been this relaxed with each other for a long time.”

He smiles and said, “Yeah I know what you mean Jared,” as he holds my hand. 

Misha clears his throat,”Um we are here too you know.”

”Oh god Im sorry Misha and Clif.”

Misha smiles that award wining smile and said, “its ok Jared wanted to tell you his news. Good morning Minon.”

”Morning Overload Sir,” he kisses my cheek. ”Morning Clif, how are you?” I said.

”Good and you?” He answered. 

”Great a little apprehensive about tomorrow and I still need to find a name. Can you all help?” As I looked worried. Jared came over and hugged me gently. 

”Of course we will help,” he said. 

”I was thinking of something like GISHWHES like a word which is a acronym,” I said. 

”So something like World Organisation for the protection of children from Abuse and violence,” Misha said. 

”Yeah but makes a word hopefully. Its ok if it doesn’t as well.”

”Maybe we can have a think session at lunchtime. If you and Jensen aren’t to busy,” Jared said, with raised eyebrows. I blushed 20 shades of red. As Jensen smiles at Jared.

Clif said, “We better get going or we will be late and have to stay back late again.”

”Ok, Clif,” as we all get in the car. Misha was rubbing one of my hands as it was a natural thing for at least one of them to be touching me. Jensen always had hold of me when we were in the car. 

We arrived as Bob said, “Morning.”

We all said, “Morning,” back when Richard walked from behind him. 

“Well morning everyone guess who’s here?”

I looked at Bob and he saw me question why Richard was there.

”Oh Y/N, Richard is Directing this episode I’m sorry I forgot to let you all know.”

”Really Richard knows what I do here?”

”Yes he does and hopes you will do a good job for him like you do me.”

”Yes I will Bob.”

”Y/N please don’t worry I don’t bite really?”

Jensen said, “Nah his a pussy cat Baby.”

”Ok you lot wardrobe,” as Jensen gives me a quick kiss which has become habit. 

Richard said, “I will also need you to run some lines with them as well as Samantha is not here for filming today. Is that alright Y/N?”

”Sure just let me know when and I will set it up.”

”Good, Good I knew you would be great to work with.”

”Richard may I ask you something?”

”Of course anything.”

”Well I need you to do soemthing for me if you feel comfortable enough.”

”What Y/N?” as he notices Clif gently rubbing my shoulder.

”I need you to touch me like Clif is if thats alright.”

”What about Jensen?”

”Hes alright with it as my therapist wants me to get use to the touches of people around me.”

”I don’t know can I ask Jensen first?”

”Of course if you feel safer asking him,” as I smiled. 

“Ok, So I will need you to get them to get to their marks and we can rehearse the first scene.”

They all walk in Jensen is in his red shirt he looks so hot in that shirt. Jared is in a brown plaid shirt while Misha is in his usually trenchcoat. They came over to see where they had to be. 

Richard pulled Jensen aside and said, “Hey man you girl wants me to touch her. Are you cool with this Jay?”

Jensen laughed and said, “Yep she told you?”

”Yes she did and you are letting people touch her?”

”Jesus Richard its only on her face, hand, shoulder and arms. Its nothing imitate Richard. I’m the only one thats allow to touch her like that.”

He let out a breath he was holding incase Jensen hit him. He said, “Ok I can do that.”

”Good because it can help her recovery a great deal Richard.”

He nodded as he said, “Ok, places everyone and action,” as they rehearsed the first scene of the day. Then when he was happy they filmed it. Richard is a really good Director and fun he had us all laughing several times during a take. He was very good and had an amazing way with the guys. 

He said, “Right Y/N when your ready you will seat out there and you can run lines with them. You can do Marys part ok.”

I nodded as I was nervous as Clif carried my chair out there as I followed behind him. I sat down as Jensen looked at me wondering why I was on the set. Then he saw the scripted being passed to me to read. He looks at Richard as he yells out, “ok everyone Y/N is doing Marys part as Samantha is unavailable and I want to see the scenes as I get a visual on how I want them to look.”

Jensen came over and squeezed my hand for reassurance as Jared and Misha could see the anxiety build in me. Misha squeezed my shoulder and Jared grabbed my other hand. I started to feel safe and my breathing settled. Richard was watching us as he told the camera guy to flim us. Once I was breathing normally again Richard yelled action. 

I started to read Marys part, then Jensen said his lines as he looked at me and smiled. Jared also said his lines as Misha was last to say his lines. We actually worked well together as we looked at each other and the guys did what they were supoose to do. Richard saw something that no one else saw and it surprised him as he watched us. We continued like this until we finished the scene. Richard had recorded my dialogue speak I gave to the boys as he zoomed the camera in on my face. He was looking at me, he couldnt take his eyes off me all the time he was filming. He called Jensen over as Jensen had directed some episodes as well. 

Richard said, “Hey Jay I want you to see something?”

I looked over there worried I had done something wrong as Jared said, “Hey its ok, it’s probably Director stuff as they both have directed before.”

I shook my head as Jensen watched whatever it was Richard was showing him. He looked at me and smiled as his attention was drawn back to the screen. 

Jensen was watching intently as Richard whispered, “Look at her Jensen shes a natural.”

”Yeah, she is but what are you telling me?”

”I want to take this to the producers and Bob and see if they see it too.”

”You want her to star in Supernatural with us?”

”Yep, shes incredible the camera loves her. Just look at her laughing and having fun with you all. Even this scene here look the seriousness in her eyes and face.”

Jensen looked as he was amazed at what Richard was saying but he too could see it. 

“Richard do you want me too come and talk to them as well?”

”No, they will think we set it up just let me. I think Bob will see it and maybe Andrew but I will have to convince them to let her join the cast.”

”Jesus Richard what do I tell her?”

”Nothing for now not until I know for sure.”

He nodded as he walked back to me he seemed distracted but I didn’t ask I figure like Jared said Directors stuff.

Richard said, “Ok, everyone the next scene please.”

Clif said, “Hey Baby girl do you want me to take your seat back to where we sit?”

”Yes thanks Clif that would be great thank you.”

”No need I would do anything to help you all.”

Jensen smiles a big bright smile as like a light was switch on and he finally worked it out. I smiled back as my heart settled to know everything was alright.

We worked all the way through lunch to get the scenes done for today as I still needed to get this done to be organised for tomorrow’s meeting.

We finally left at around 7pm that night I was exhausted as we still haven’t worked out a name yet. 

I said in a tire voice with a yawn added to let them know I was tired, “are you going to still help me with the name for the Organisation.”

Jared said, “Sure Princess I will help can I call Gen and just let her know I will be a little later,” as he also yawned. 

“Look Jared you go home and be with your family. We can work on this tomorrow before the meeting if you come in early.”

”You sure Princess I can stay?”

”No, really Jensen and I can make a start on it.”

Misha said, “I can stay if you want too.”

”No, you go and be with your family too Misha.”

”Ok, I’ll be over bright and early tomorrow to help.”

”Thank you both I love you guys.”

Clif said, “I can come back after I drop theses two off if you would like some help.”

”I would love the help but Clif you look just as exhausted as we are. Go home and get a good night’s sleep and we will start early tomorrow.”

”Ok Baby Girl,” as he pulls up into Jensen’s driveway. Misha gave me a kiss and said, “Don’t worry you will be brilliant tomorrow.”

I shook my head unsure if I am brilliant but I will agree with him. Jared said, “how we will be there with you ever step of the way and we won't let you go through this on your own,” as he kisses and hugs me too. 

“Hey Baby girl you have come a long way since you first arrived and I’m proud of you, actually we all are proud of you,” as he kisses my head and hugs me to him

Jensen said, “You know Baby Clif is right you have come long way and doing this is coming out of your comfort zone and doing something amazing for abused children and I think that takes a lot of guts to tell people your story,” as he kisses me lightly on the lips as his hand went to the small of my back as I lean into him.

They all gave Jensen a shoulder squeeze as they got back in the car and it pulls out. Jensen and I both waving goodbye we stood there a long time after the car was put of sight just looking at the stars. 

“Jensen what is it?” I knew something was bothering him.

”Its nothing, its just a beautiful night look at thoses stars and that sky Baby. Its the most incredible thing on the great Earth to look at.”

”Yes it is Jensen I used to look at them back home it was my one thing that they couldn’t damage. You know I use to wish for aliens to come and take me away from them and give me a better life.”

He laughed a soft laugh and said, “Aliens huh, I guess they never came.”

”No, no one did but I eventually got my other wish my knight in shining armour rescued and saved me.”

”Yeah who’s this knight who saved you, you know your mine now and always.”

”Oh I think the knight knows that as he is amazingly sexy and handsome.”

”He is,” with raised eyebrows.

”Yep he is and I’m never letting him go ever.”

”Well I don’t think he will let you,” as he rolls the ring on my finger.

He dips his head and kisses me deeply as we kiss under the stars and the black sky. He moves his mouth over my lips as he didn’t want to break the kiss. I pulled back and panted for breath when he said, “We better go in.”

”Yeah, I guess Jay.”

We walk in as he asks, “What would you like for dinner Baby?”

”Chinese its easy and simple to clean up after.”

”Ok, I will go ring, you go to the lounge room and we will start brainstorming names.”

I move off as I head towards the lounge when Jensen yells out, “You want something to drink as well?”

”Yes thank you Jay.”

”He comes in a few moments later and said, “I got fried rice with king prawns I know how you love them.”

”Thanks Jay,” as he passes me a can of lemonade.

He sits down behind me as I pick up the pen and paper as we start to think of acronyms for names. 

“Jensen what do you think?”

”What for a name?”

”Yes silly what else would I been asking you for?”

”Oh I don’t know, I was thinking you do you want to have child abuse in the acronym?”

”Yes but if we can’t  that’s  find as long as it tells people what we want to achieve with it.”

”Ok, how about, ‘World Organisation for Child Abuse Prevention which would be W.O.C.A.P.’

”Yep I like it but it needs to say a word like GISHWSHES does.”

”Ok, how about we both think of one.”

”I had a thought how about this, ‘Action and Prevention of Child Abuse which the letters would be A.P.C.A.’

”Or it could be, ‘Action and Prevention For Abused Kids, letters will be A.P.A.K.’

”Yeah that sounds good but we need more.”

The doorbell rings as Jensen gets up from behind me and answers it.

The delivery guy which has come to know Jensen so well said, “Hey Jay, here’s your order,” as Jensen passes over the money with his usual tip.

”Thanks man enjoy your night.”

”You too Jay see again soon.”

As he closes the door and sits back down after handing me the food. 

“Mm smells nice Jay.”

”Yep it does,” as his tummy rumbles with hunger.

I give him his food as I turn to let him eat without me resting on him. As he opens his and starts to eat his noodles. I open mine as I pull put a prawn and put in my mouth. I make humming noises as it’s delicious. Jensen laughs as he watches me eat.

He said, “I didn’t know chinese tasted so good before not until you came.”

”Why?”

”Because you make everything taste so much better now that I’m eating with someone I love.”

”You know I’ve never had chinese until you introduced it into my diet. Its is very nice and I love the prawns, you want one Jay?”

”Only if you can spare one for me.”

”I don’t know they are very nice to eat,” as I wink at him. 

I pull one out and put it in his mouth on my fork. He smiles as he eats it. He said, “Your right they are nice and tasty.”

He bends over and kisses me and said, “you taste just as nice.”

”Jay this is not getting the names done.”

”Ok,” he said with a mouthful of food. “What about as he swallows his food,  ‘Save the children from Abuse and Torture, which the letters will be, S.C.A.T.’

”Better and I know we can think of more Jensen? What about, ‘Saving abused kids everyday, S.A.K.E.’

“That sounds good Baby, I have one too, ‘Giving Hope to Abused Kids Everyday, G.H.A.K.E.’

I wrote it down and looked at them what we had was good but I think maybe we could think of some more or use one we already have. I was exhausted as I snuggled into Jensen and he held me.

”Hey your tired we can do some more tomorrow?”

””Mm Jay I love you.”

”I love you too Baby,” as he held me tight to him and I relaxed and closed my eyes and fell asleep. He could hear my breathing even out and knew I was asleep. He held me for a long time before he decided to lie us down on the rug he took our shoes off and pulled a blanket over us. He was asleep a few minutes later after kissing me on the back of the neck. 

“Night Baby,” as he closed his eyes. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for all your wonderful comments and kudos they are very much appreciated and needed at the moment.  
> You all are the guiding light at the end of a very dark tunnel for me ane I appreciate the support.  
> I will post again when I can please continue the journey with me, Jensen and the reader don’t give up ln us.
> 
> Please let me know if you like any of the names I have come up with. If not I will try to think of some more. I’ve been racking my brain for some names if you think of any please let me know. 
> 
> Thank you and remember always keep fighting.


	27. The one with the Fears.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader and Jensen have another session and the Reader gets aroused and asks Jensen and Gen about what is happening to her body and sex.   
> They all sit down and work on names for the Organisation and as the Reader prepares for her Board meeting.   
> Will they come up with a good name?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader and Jensen have another session where she gets aroused. They work on names for the Organisation.
> 
> Sorry this took me so long to post but I was figuring out a name for the Organisation it’s basically taken up a month of my time deciding on the names. 
> 
> Plus with my health issues too I haven’t felt like my writing has been any good. So I do apologise. I am not sure when the next chapter will be up but please bare with me still I will post as soon as I am able too. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes my own.
> 
> All comments are welcome and very much appreciated.

I was crying out in my sleep please don’t do this, theses kids need help. I want to help them please as the picture changed and everyone was laughing at me and Jensen was saying, “You couldn’t save yourself what makes you think you can save some poor messed up kids.”

”No, Jensen please I can with your help,” I started to pull on the blanket as Jensen wakes with the sudden coolness and he hears me talking in my sleep as I was saying his name.

He said, “Hey Baby wake up it’s just a dream,” as he kisses me lightly on the lips as he deepens the kiss. I open my eyes to see his above me. His green eyes looking and wondering what was happening.

”Jensen what’s happpening?”

”You were saying my name in your dream. You want to talk about it?”

”I was having a nightmare. They wouldn’t let me set up the Organisation and more kids were abused as I couldn’t help them Jensen. What if they say no and I can’t do it,” as I turned my head to hide the tears falling.

”Hey look at me,” as he turned my head and wiped my eyes. “They will do it or they are fools not too. You have the best people backing you and I know Misha will not give up without a fight.”

”I know but I’m worried Jensen and I can’t seem to shake the bad feeling I’m having. Maybe I should just cancel the whole thing it was stupid anyway.”

”It’s not stupid you have a great idea and need to sell it to the board and they will see it too. I will be there as will Jared, Misha and even Clif will be there with you too. You don’t need to worry if they say no I will fund it with my money if needs be or we can do some fun raising things like Jared with the AKF campaigns.”

”Jensen you would do that for me.”

”Of course I will and so would Jared and Misha. How about I donate to help start the ball rolling.”

”God, I love you Jensen so much,” as he smiles and I kiss him deeply. 

“We better get up Jared, Misha, and Clif are coming over to brainstorm some names remember?”

”Yep I haven’t forgot but can we do our session first is there time.”

”I don’t see why not,” as we sit up and I was facing him. 

He looks me in the eyes and slowly rubs his warm hand down my face. I undo his buttons on his shirt and pull it off his shoulders as my hands touch his warm flesh. He shivered slighty at the cool touch. As I explored his shoulders as they flexed with my touch and then I moved my hand down to his nipples as I ran my finger around his left nipple. It felt odd touching Jensen like this but he was looking me in the eyes the whole time. His left nipple went hard under my touch as I moved to the right one he was moaning with pleasure as I circled my finger around that one. I kissed his mouth as we explored each other. I wanted to know every inch of Jensen by the time we finished all our sessions. I moved closer so I was almost sitting in his lap. I rubbed my hands down his back as my nails digged in slightly as he growled in his throat. 

I was surprised at how comfortable we were with each and what we were doing. I wanted to touch lower but I couldn’t bring myself to explore that low yet. I was just getting used of touching his upper body without throwing in the lower body too. I don’t think we are quiet ready for that yet. I was looking at Jensen when he gently grabbed my hand and he kisses my palm. 

I always felt a surge of intimacy between us. I knew how much he loved me when he did little things like this it made my feel special and most of all wanted. He just held my hand to his lips as he was about to rub it on his cheek. I liked his cheek as he had a two days scruff on it and it was all rough and it excited me. I think he would handsome with a full beard and I could get used off it as he would rub it along my face and body. I shivered slightly at the thought when Jensen looked.

”Are you cold Baby?”

”No I was just thinking of what you would look like with a full beard. I kind like your scruff Jay it’s makes me like the idea of a beard.”

”It does, does it?”

”Yeah it does very much.”

He raised and eyebrow when he said, “Ok, during hiatus I will grow one just for you.”

”You will for me.”

”Yep and I will make sure to kiss you everyday with it.”

”Mm I would like that Jay.”

He laughs as he pulls my shirt over my head. He looks at me as he gently rubs his smooth hand down my chest to my breast. I still had my bra on so he rubbed my nipple through the bra. As I mewled with pleasure. 

“Jensen,” As he looks at me. “What Baby you want me too stop?”

”No, I was going to say it feels good.”

”Oh,”  like he hadn’t heard me then he said, “Oh,” as he thought about it and gives me a grin. 

He continues to rub the breast as I was feeling something odd between my legs and like their’s butterflies in my stomach. I didn’t tell Jensen what I was feeling incase he laughed at me. He moved his hand inside the bra as he ran circles around my breast as I moved closer for his hand to touch me. He moves to the other breast as he moves around behind me and undo my bra and throws it on the floor next to our tops. He looks at them for a few seconds as he moves his thumb over the other breast. I started to squirm just a little and Jensen asked, “You alright Baby.”

”Hm, what Jensen,” as my thoughts were on his hand moving over my breast ever so slowly. Teasing it gently and he then rubbed the underside and I almost jumped into his lap. 

“You alright you just jumped you want me to stop.”

”No, I wasn’t expecting it to feel so good and Jensen you won’t laugh but I feel something happening between my legs.”

He tried to hold back a laugh as he gives me the biggest grin man has even seen.

“You getting aroused Baby and that’s what happens when you want to have sex.”

”But we aren’t having sex so why is it happening?”

”Your body is responding to the pleasure you are feeling.”

”Will that happen when we do have sex Jensen?”

”Yes it will and what will happen with you?”

”Maybe we can talk about this another time and if your ready I will show you. As Jared, Misha and Clif will be here soon.”

”Ok, we will talk about it again.”

He helped me up as we were headed for the shower when the doorbell rang. We both answered it as Tom and Shep ran in and Shep gave me a hug and said, “I missed you Y/N.”

”I missed you too little man.”

”Daddy can you pick me up please.”

”Sure Shep,” Jared answered. He moved closer to me as Shep gave me a kiss on the cheek. I returned the kiss and said, “Thank you Shep.”

Tom said, “Morning Y/N and Unca Jensen.”

”Good morning Tom, look you’ve grown a whole foot the last time I saw you. You will be as tall as your Daddy soon.”

He giggled and said, “Daddy’s tall.”

Shep said, “How about me?”

”Yep you too.”

Gen walks over and said, “Ok boys go amd play and you can talk with Y/N later.”

The boys ran off to find the toys Jensen keeps for them to play with. 

I said, “Thanks Gen,” she smiles as she kisses me good morning and I say good morning to Jared, Misha and Clif who waited patiently for Shep and Tom to finish.

Jared said, “Morning are you guys ready for us?”

”No, we were about to go shower with had a session this morning.”

”Oh, how did it go?”

I blushed as it didn’t go unnoticed by them all. 

Misha said, “Will I see it was good,” as he pointed to my very red face.

”Yeah is was amazing,” Jensen said.

”Gen can you help me with the bath I need some girl time. Do you mine?”

”Of course not.”

Jensen said, “I will shower in my room to give you some privacy to talk.”

”Jensen can you help me into the bath first.”

”Of course Baby.”

”You guys had breakfast yet?”

”Yep hours ago,” Clif said.

”Make yourselves at home we won’t be long.”

So we head upstairs and Jensen helps me into the bath as he disappears to his room. 

Gen closes the door so we could talk privately without anyone hearing us. 

“What did you want to talk about Y/N?”

”Hm,” as I go all shy. 

“What did something happen when you and Jensen had your session. By the way thanks for that Jared and I have really enjoyed just touching each other.”

”You’re welcome Gen, yes something did happen and I’m not sure if it’s good or bad.”

”You want to tell me about it?”

”Well hm I um, please don’t laugh at me Gen. I couldn’t bare it, I um had this feeling in my stomach like butterflies but I also felt embarrassed as I had a wet feeling between my legs. So is that normal or is their something wrong with me?”

She gives me a soft smile and said, “Their is nothing wrong with you Y/N. What you felt was arousal Jensen awaken the sexual pleasure in your body. It’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about it all natural and wonderful when you feel the full pleasure of sexual desire and imitacy. He will bring you pleasure you’ve never felt before and it will be amazing.”

“Jensen told me I was aroused but what happens to a man when they are you know?”

She raises her eyebrows and said, “You know.”

”Gen please dont make me say it out loud.”

”Oh you mean when they are aroused and ready to have sex.”

”Will how can I explain this, you and Jensen haven’t had sex yet?”

”No, we were taking it slow and I wanted to know more about it and how to do it. We were going to watch porn together but we have been way too busy.”

”Ok look when a man is aroused you will know as his penis gets hard its called an erection. For a women its harder to tell but you have already found out how we feel when we are.”

”Are their penis’s hard or its just a saying?”

”No its actually its hard but when you touch it its soft.”

”Does it hurt Gen?”

”It can your first time that’s only because Jensen is braking through the barrier that keeps your virginity intacked. But it shouldn’t afterwards it will be the most incredible thing you have felt. Except maybe having a child but this comes close.”

“Gen I’m scared of what I’m feeling I’ve never had feelings like this ever and it’s a little overwhelming and I’m not sure what to do about them.”

”How may I make a suggestion talk to Jensen about them and you both can work through this together. I’m sure he is probably feeling the same thing as you?”

”Really you think so Gen?”

”Guarantee it. I know this is difficult for you but it’s better to be honest so he knows whats going on in here, (as she points to my head), and in here (as she points to my heart).”

”Ok, I will thanks Gen. I don’t know what I would you if you weren’t in my life.”

”Hey that’s what B.F.F’s do for each other. We talk and help each other among other things.”

”Gen can you please get Jensen I need his help getting out of the bath.”

”Ok, be right back.”

I sat there while I was alone and thought of how I felt that morning and how much Jensen means to me. I knew I will have to speak to him about all this but now is not the right time. 

Jensen knocked on the door as I said, “Come in Jensen.”

”Hey Baby, Gen said “you need some help.”

”Yes thanks Jensen and I need to talk to you later after work.”

”Ok is it about this morning?”

”Yes and other things as well,” he looked worried and I saw and said, “Nothing bad I promise.”

He sighed with relief as he picks me up and takes me into our room. He sits me on the bed as I start to dry myself. He watches me as I get dressed.

“Jay you like what you see?”

”Of course have the first time I saw you naked Baby.”

I blushed as I remember to when he first got me out of the bath back in Australia boy was that over a month ago. I felt like I’ve been here like forever with my new family and friends. Everything seems to fit at the moment. I felt wanted and loved and most of useful. 

“What are you thinking about you zoned out on me.”

”Sorry Jay I was thinking how happy I am and how much I love you all. Plus the first time we met in the bath,” as a smile comes to my face.

He smirks at me and said, “Yeah you know we were worried what we were going to find behind that door and their you were in the bath no less singing a song.”

I smile at the memory it was a good memory even though I broke my knee it was really good to know they flew around the world to see if I was alright. 

I said, “Yeah it’s a wonderful memory for me Jay. I better get dressed or they will be wondering what we are up too,” with raised eyebrows.

Jensen laughed a fully belly laugh as he help get my clothes for me. I quickly brush my hair and we head downstairs where there is breakfast waiting for us. Jared hands Jensen his coffee as I sit down with my hot chocolate. They had made us panacakes, waffles, scrambled eggs, toast, hash brown basically every breakfast food you could think of. 

I sat down as Gen gave me a plate and handed me the food that was being passed around. I only had a bit as I put some bacon and scrambled eggs on my plate. I was given a hot chocolate by Jared as we all sat and eat our breakfast. 

Jared said, “Ok, now” between bites of food. “What are we going to name this Organisation any suggestions?”

Gen said, “How about something to do with abused kids.”

”Yeah that would be good if we could add that into the title but I want an acronym like GISHWSHES.” 

Misha smiled and said, “Ok so an acronym with abused kids in it.”

Clif said, “What about Organisation for helping abused kids its acronym would be OHAK?” He thought about it and said, “Oh it doesn’t work.”

”Its a good try Clif thank you.”

Jared said, “Help each child from Abuse which will be HECA.”

”Ok Jared sounds good but we need something catchy and everyone will remember it. I will write it down though to use just incase.”

Jensen said, “Does it need to be a acronym Baby?”

”I was hoping for one so it would be easy to say.”

”Ok, we still have time to work on it.” 

I picked up my hot chocolate and held it in my hands when Gen said, “I might have one?”

I said, “Ok, Gen what you got?”

She said, “Save abused Kids everyday.” 

Jared said, “Gen that was a good one it spells SAKE”

”Hm sounds good I will write it down with the others. Thanks Gen for your help.”

Jensen said, “Ok, mine is “Abused Children Recovery Organisation” which is ACRO.”

I wrote it down as I was playing around with the Supernatural letters as Jensen asks, “whats that?”

”Oh I was just playing around with the Supernatural letters and came up with, “Show Reunited Protection to Enable and Rebuild the Negative Abuse and to Teach and Unite to Recognise And Learn” which spells out SUPERNATURAL.”

Jensen said, “Wow thats a mouth full but I like it.”

So I wrote it down with the others. 

Misha said, “What about GISHWHES acronym like, “Give Individual Service to Help With Healing Each Soul,” but I also thought we could add “For Abused Children Together” so its GISHWHES FACT. What do you think?”

Jared said, “Doesn’t GISHWHES have copyright?”

”Yes, but we could maybe do a side charity with its name,” Misha replied.

”Yes it is good Misha we will added it to the list.”

Gen said, “How many do you want Y/N?”

”As many as we can come up with.”

”Mm, What about just using wishes like, “We Individualised Services to Heal Each Soul.”

“Yep that shorten down Misha’s. 

Clif said, “Save and Protect Abused Children Everyday” which spells SPACE.”

I added that as well. I looked at the ones Jensen and I had done the night before and saw I had written down, “World Organisation for Child Abuse Prevention (WOCAP).

I had crossed out a few from the night before as they didn’t spell an acronym. 

Misha said, “Giving Abused Children Hope Everyday,” I wrote down the letters GACHE I put it with the others possibilities.

Jensen and Jared both got up and took all our plates over to the sink to clean off for the dishwasher to wash them. 

I said, “What if nothing of theses are good enough and we can’t find a good name for the Organisation?”

Gen said, “Hang what we have are all good and worthy name for a wonderful Organisation. You will have to decide which one you like the best?”

”Yeah I know but it too hard. Maybe we can vote on the name?”

”If thats what you want to do, we can.”

”Yes its too hard a desicion as its taken me awhile to think of the ones we have already.”

Jensen came over as they finished loading the dishwasher and he lifted me to my feet and hugged tightly to him. He knew it was the anxiety talking and nit my head. He also knew I loved his hugs.

So what will the name be? We will have to decide soon as the meeting was in a few hours.  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your wonderful comments and kudos.   
> Please I have numerous names for the Organisation if you like one please let me know as I will use it when she goes for the board meeting. 
> 
> Next chapter she will fo for the meeting and I was going to throw a panic attack in as well so the board can see what happens to her during an attack.   
> Plus we might do another visit to her therapist and the Daniela gives her some techniques to help keep her grounded in the present and not the past. 
> 
> Post as soon as I can but thank you all for your understanding and still reading my story.


	28. The Board Meeting.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader, Jensen, Jared, Misha and Clif head to the board meeting as the Reader prepares to tell them her story and why she wants to set up the Organisation for abused Children.  
> She was in the middle of telling them when she has a flashback and an attack. Jensen is there next to her and he notices the cracks as the Reader has an panic attack.  
> Jensen, Jared, Misha and Clif work together to bring her out of the attack. Will it ruin her chances to help kids like her who are being or were being abused?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader, Jensen, Jared, Clif and Misha go to the board meeting for the funding for the Organisation as the Reader prepares for it. She tells them why she wants to set up the Organisation for abused children around the world. She has a panic attack and Jensen brings her out of it. 
> 
> Warnings: panic attack, worried Reader, supportive J2M and Clif and Gen, mentions of past suicide attempts and abuse. Reader tells them about her life. OMC- Kyle, OFC-unnamed. 
> 
> Please do not read if this will trigger you. Your health is more important than this chapter. Sorry this chapter is kind of long as I didn't know where to stop. I hope you like it? 
> 
> Unbeaten all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Comments are welcome and encouraged I don't bite. It also helps me as a writer to know if you are enjoying my story.

So I have my list as I get ready for the meeting with the board. I am really nervous I might stuff up and the child's might not get any help. Gen is helping me to dress nicely as I've never done this before and to tell them about my life is going to be hard as well. I know Jensen, Jared, Misha and Clif will all be there for support.

Gen said, "You look worried?"

"Gen what if I stuff up and I can't do this."

"Hey you will I have every faith in you."

"I'm just terrified standing in front of the board I've never done this before."

"Misha would have told them and they will understand if you are scared. Just remember why you are there and the reason you want to help the kids it will get you through."

"Thanks Gen, I'm glad your apart of my life."

"Your welcome and let me do your hair for you," to calm me down and get my mind off worrying.

Gen finally finished my hair it looked amazing and I loved what she had done. We head downstairs where Jensen had gotten changed into a dark blue suit and boy he looked incredibly sexy. 

Jared, Misha and Clif were heading home to change and meeting us there. I was fidgeting with my ring when Jensen grabbed my hand and said, "You look beautiful baby."

"You look handsome to Jay," as he bent to kiss me as he held onto my hand. 

Jared said, "Ok, we will meet you there ok Princess."

I shook my head and Jensen said, "Ok, Jared."

Misha came over and whispered in my ear, "You will be great Y/N and they will see how special the Organisation really is." As he hugs me gently to him.

Clif said, "You got this Baby girl they will be stupid not too." As he kissed my forehead, I gave a tight smile as they left after Gen called the boys and they both gave me a hug and then Gen said, "Good luck Y/N?" 

"Thanks Gen."

I was left there with Jensen he looks at me and gently cups my face with his hand as he leans in and kisses me as he pulls me into him. It was a soft kiss and I knew what he was trying to do was to distract me for my worry too.

"You will do good today Baby and we will then work out how to raise money for the Organisation too."

"We have to get support first and then work that all out."

"Its a shoe in you will get their support. I know you will."

"Glad one of us are optimistic and can see that I won't stuff up."

"Just remember to breath Baby and you will do fine or if it gets to much look at me I will be right next to you."

"Ok, thanks Jensen. I know this could be amazing if I just get through the meeting."

"You willl I promise."

"Ok, we better go or we will be late."

He laughs as he knows we have enough time to get there. He helps me into the car and put the crutches next to me. I grip them tightly as to calm my nerves. Jensen notices and grabs my hand and kisses the palm that always feels amazing and such and imitate thing to do. He smiles at me and just him doing that and the kiss it settles me. We arrived a short time later at the hotel where we were meeting. 

Jared, Misha and Clif haven't arrived yet so Jensen and I go in and sit in the lounge area. He said, "Would you like something to drink Y/N?"

"Yeah maybe a lemonade," he grins and said, "ok be right back."

I watch him move away from me as I sit there lost in my thoughts when a hand touches my shoulder I jumped slightly as I wasn't expecting it but I knew the hand. It was Misha's hand as he moved around me and said, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to startled you Y/N."

"No, it's fine I was lost in my thoughts and I knew your touch after. It's ok I'm just a little nervous."

"Hey you we be fine they are people like you and me. So think of they as us when your talking to them. We will be with you all through the presentation as well so if something happens will be there to help you through it."

"Like me forgetting what I'm about to say or having a panic attack or flashback Misha. I hadn't thought of that what if I have a full on panic attack?"

"It's alright just breath Y/N. If you do Jensen, Jared, Clif and myself will be there for you. Don't worry we have got your back," as he gets up and kisses me on the head and rubs my shoulder gently to soothe me. 

Jensen came back with my lemonade and a coke for him as he was watching Misha rub my shoulder. Misha saw him walk up and he said, "She still nervous?"

"Yeah she's worried she might have a panic attack or flashback Jensen."

He puts our drinks down and kneels in front of me. He looks me in the eyes and said, "You have come a long way Baby and if you do have an attack we will help you through it. You are an amazing person Y/N and I know sorry we know (pointing to Misha) that you can do this with our support. So if it happens it's ok you are still recovering and getting stronger. I love you no matter what happens. I also know they will give you the funding for your organisation because it's a damn good one."

"Jensen I'm really scared," as my leg twitched slightly from nervousness. 

"I know Baby I will promise to hold your hand the whole way through the meeting so you know your not alone ok."

A tear slipped down my face as he wipes it away. "Jensen what did I do to deserve a wonderful positive man like you."

"Well," he laughed as I tapped him on the shoulder as he pulls me into a hug. 

Misha said, "Can I join in to," I giggled as he hugged me when Jensen pulled away. 

"Thanks Overlord."

"Your welcome Minion remember you got this. You know what you want to say and call the Organisation and it's damn good."

"Yes I do."

Jensen said, "You will be amazing and I forgot the most beautiful person in the room."

I blushed as he lifts me off the chair and sit in with me on his lap and he lends me back as he wraps his arms around my middle and gently rubs my arms. I was totally relaxed and calm when Jared and Gen arrive. I looked at Gen and she smiles and said, "Surprise I wanted to give you some support too. I hope you don't mine."

I smiled and said, "No I don't mine thank you Gen."

"You and me need to stick together."

"Yeah we do," as she squeeze my hand. 

Jared said, "What happened?" He noticed I was sitting on Jensen.

"I um was going into panic mode so Jensen and Misha talked me down. Jensen was calming me."

"I thought if she could feel me near she would relax and it worked."

"I see. Princess you are going to be fine and do the best damn presentation these egg heads have ever seen. I no sorry we (as he pointed to everyone there as Clif walks in the door) believe in you and what you can accomplish."

"Jared right," as Clif walks up. "You have amazed us all with the strength you have and how far you have come in such a short time. I proud of you Baby girl." 

He kisses my forehead as Gen said, "You are special for doing this to help the kids out there still struggling with all sort of abuse. They will see this is a good cause and back it in an instead. Then you can help as many as you want. Jared and I were talking about donating money to help set it up."

"Really you both would do that for me?"

"Of we love you silly and do anything to help a good cause."

"I was as well going to put some money in as well," Jensen said.

Misha said, "Ok I guess we all had the same thought to donate some money to help start the Oragnisation."

Another happy tear slipped down my face as I swiped it away as I just look at the incredible people I now have in my life. As Jensen lifts my hand and kisses it. 

Misha said, "We better go or we will be late." As Jared helped me up off Jensen and Jensen stood next to me holding my hand and crutches.

"Hang on," I took a drink of lemonade and continue, "However this turns out I want to thank you all for being here to support me and helping with this. It means a lot to me you are all in my life. A few weeks ago I had nothing now I have you. Who cares about me and looks out for me (as I look at each of them), and to have a best friend and two semi big brothers. I love you all."

Gen moved to give me a hug but then they all hugged me together as I was giggling as Gen and I were being crushed in the middle. When we pulled away Jensen softly kiss my lips. He whispered, "You got this."

We moved to the elevator as we headed up to the floor we needed. It arrived as we all got off. We were greet by the one of the committee as she guided us to where to sit.

Misha started to introduce us to everyone before we started. I was standing as close as I could to Jensen for support as he had his arm around my waist. I took a deep breath and another and another as the names were being lost as I couldn't remember them all.

Misha said, "Ok Y/N the board is ready to here what you want to say." He gave my hand a squeeze as they had provided a chair for me to sit in. Jensen was on one side of me holding my hand as he promised and Jared was on the other side.

Misha was sitting with the board as he was CEO but he wasn't aloud to vote being to close to me. 

I looked at Jensen and Clif and the Jared and Gen who also were holding hands too. 

I cleared me throat and said, thank you all for coming, my name Y/N and I would like to set up an organisation for abused children. You would be wondering why as I will tell you my story.

I was 4 when my life changed dramatically my Father had lost his job due to a work injury which he never recovered. My Mother was forced to care for us both. In time she hated us as she lost her freedom and job. My parents were very abusive towards me and hit me often."

As a memory flowed in my head my breathing hitched as both Jensen and Jared noticed at the same time. Jensen said, Y/N it's ok we got you," as he squeezed my hand and Jared squeezed my other hand as I turned to look at him and gave him a weak smile. I took a deep breath in and out and continued, "That wasn't the only thing I was also abused at school for being dirty and wearing hand me down and threadbare clothes the kids use to beat me as well. I was 8 the first time I tried to," I stopped as another flash of memory hit me as my eyes were not focusing and my breathing was coming in short pants. 

I tried to say, "Jensen help," but I didn't need to as he was on his knees in front of me.

He said, "Hey look at me," when I didn't turn my head he did and he looked into my unfocused eyes and then he kissed me. It was long and soft.

One of the board memebers asked what was happening. While another was looking with disgust.  

She said, "It's not the time to make out there's a proper place for that?"

Misha said, "They are not making out, Y/N was about to have a full on panic attack he is stopping it but letting her know he's there the only way she knows with a kiss and touch."

"Really it's hard to believe," she snorted.

Jared said, "Look she suffers from Post Trauma Stress Disorder and she has flashbacks which bring on a panic attack. We have been working with her to help bring her back. This is Jensen's way to bring her back."

Jensen finally pulled back and said, "Sorry for the show but she was almost in full panic mode from a flashback."

I heaved in a breath and looked a little embarrassed but I pulled my head up and said, "I'm sorry for the interruption. I was having a flashback which wasn't good. You see I suffer from an mental condition called PTSD. It's like I go back to the moment when I'm being abused or hurting myself yes I tried on numerous occasions to commit suicide. That's why I want to set this Organisation up to help kids like me with food and clothing, medical care, even a safe place for them to stay, or help the people who are looking after these kids and giving them support. I don't want any child to have to suffer like me ever again. I also would like to do it internationally to include Australia and other countries as well."

Jensen said, "Y/N a few weeks ago was going to hurt herself but find the strength not too," as a tear slipped down his face. 

Jared said, "We have as a whole have given Y/N support and love she needed and she has now got a job and is in a loving relationship with Jensen."

"I am also seeing a therapist and that's what I would like to help the kids with also get the the counselling they will also need." 

Misha said, "I offered Random Acts as a funding for the Organisation if the whole board agrees. I think it is a good cause to help the young and teenagers out there being abused everyday by their families or even strangers. Being bullied at school and even hurt. We ( as he looks at his co-stars) are going to make donations to the Organisation to help set it up. Then we will do like a GISHWHES thing to raise money. We can do charity auction maybe put Jensen up for auction for a date."

Jesnen looks at him with a scowl as Misha smiles the toothy grin. 

"We can do t-shirts as well as other merchandise," I said. 

The lady from before said, "So what is its name if we give the all clear?"

I looked at everyone as Jensen shook his head. I said, "I was thinking of an acronym. Clif actually help with this one," as I look at him and he smiles at me like an proud poppa would do. 

"We all came up with names but I like this one it's, "Save and Protect Abused Children Everyday the acronym is S.P.A.C.E which is Space."

Clif looked at me and said, "I think that is appropriate as that what you want to do Baby Girl."

"Thanks Clif."

The board made some pleasing noises and she said, "We will have to discuss this and we will let you know in the next couple of days Y/N. Thank you for your inlightening presentation it was very interesting indeed."

"Thank you all for your time and thank you again for seeing me. Goodbye."

I got up when one of the committee members said, "Y/N can I ask you something before you go?"

"Yes Sir what can I help you with."

"Can you tell me how this abuse has effected your life besides the suicide attempts?"

"Sure I had no friends or support. I couldn't work with people so I took a job at an animal shelter back home. I really was alone and was getting worst each day. Until Jensen, Jared and Misha flew around the world to see if I was alright as I was going to commit suicide I was sitting on my kitchen floor with a bottle of pills in my hand as I thought no one cared or would care if I died. I was wrong these three amazing men showed up at my door and saved me. Jensen did accidentally broke my leg but he has kept his promise and looked after me and help me see a therapist and he stays with me. We did have a few problems to begin with but now we are solid and together. I even have a job now around lots of people which I never could do before. My life has changed so much that I still think it's a dream and I will wake up back home in Australia. I struggled day to day as I still think of what I did to deserve these beautiful giving kind men in my life."

He said, "Thank you I can see how much they care for you."

"I'm the lucky one to have them. Thank you again for your time."

As we walk out the room and into the elevator. Once the door closes I take a big breath in as they all look at me. 

Clif moved first and gave me a hug and said, "Wow that was incredible you were amazing."

"Yeah but what about the panic attack and that women. She's didn't like me?"

"She's just one person Y/N. The man who stopped you seemed very interested in the Organisation," Gen said as she squeezed my hand.

Jared said, "You did great in there I'm so very proud of you Princess."

"Thanks Jared I didn't think I could do it. I guess I was wrong but I'm glad I was. Now we wait for a decision?"

Jensen said, "They will do it I have a good feeling about this."

"I'm glad one of us does. At the moment I don't think they will."

"Hey Y/N be positive. You did all you could to get this off the ground. He'll even had a panic attack to prove it," Misha said.

He smiled and then I smiled and we all were laughing soon after and it broke the tense in the elevator.

We finally stopped when we got to the bottom and I felt much better. We hopped off when Misha's phone rang. He looked at the number and shook his head with the unasked question.

He said, "Hello Misha here," as the person spoke to him at great length and he finally said, " I see," as he hang up his phone.

I looked waiting for the rejection and he said, "Well I'm afraid Y/N you won't be my minion anymore we will have to think of a new name for someone with the new Organisation."

"What did you say Misha?"

"It's almost the full board who voted yes. Apparently they thought it was a excellent idea and want to get things started as soon as possible. They will work out the funding and how much you will need, plus you can use the GISHWHES volunteers to help with the phone lines. Yep this is happening," as he saw my stunned face. 

I almost collapsed in shock as Jensen grabbed me before I fell. I stuttered out, "I I ccan't believe it Jensen it's finally going to happen."

"Yeah Baby all because you were brave enough to go and fight for it. I'm so damn proud of you. Let's go celebrate? Are you alright to walk Baby or do you need to sit."

The elevator open and the man who ask the question came out. He looked at me and smiled, he said, "I voted for you and I think what you said and the attack kind of pushed them towards you. You had me as soon as you said children. I'm an advocate for children's rights and protection. I would like to help you set this up if you would allow me too."

"Really you would like to help me?"

"Yes I'm a financial advisor maybe I could help with the money and where it would be needed most."

"I hadn't thought that far ahead I just wanted to get the meeting over with. I would love your help Sir."

"It's Kyle and your welcome." 

"Ok, Kyle we will have to talk about plans and numbers and whatever else is involved."

"How about I do all that and you and your friends do the charity work to raise money." 

"Ok, I can do that. Oh by the way that's Jensen, Jared, Gen Jared's wife, Clif and you know Misha already."

"Please to meet you all. Are you going to be the face of the Organisation Y/N?"

"No, I'm not Jensen, Jared, Misha has offered to be the faces of the Organisation. Jared has a campaign called Always Keep Fighting and he knows about t-shirts."

Gen said, "We also know about jewellery as well to help raise money."

 Misha said, "The fandom will get wind of this and give there support to it."

"I hope so otherwise it's dead in the water before it begins."

Jensen said, "We have another con soon don't we Jared?"

"Yep next weekend I think."

"Ok, so I will have to work on some sort of design for the t-shirts before then?"

"We will help you too," Jared said.

Clif said, "We can do it while on set as they film."

"That's a great idea Clif."

"Its will give us something to do during their scenes if your not needed Baby Girl."

"Let's go and celebrate shall, Kyle can you come too?"

"Unfortunately I can't but we will catch up. Give me your number and I will call later in the week?"

"Ok that's again," Kyle as he handed me his phone and I put my number in it.

He rang it and said, "Now you have mine I case you need to talk to me about anything in the mean time."

"I will probably need to discuss their donations with you and how we will use them?"

"Ok, let's get the t-shirts done first and then we will work out food and clothes and other things the kids might need."

"Ok, I can do that."

He shook my hand and said, "We will talk soon. Nice meeting you all," as he walks away back towards the elevator.

"Misha can he be trusted with this?"

"Of course he is brilliant with numbers and funds he will make it work."

"Ok, good I just don't want the money being wasted on something that doesn't need to be. It's for the kids and helping them."

"He will make sure it's gets to where it has to be."

Jared said, "Lets celebrate where you want to go?"

"I don't know, Jensen do you know somewhere?"

"Oh, maybe a restaurant or a burger joint nearby."

"I don't mind anywhere is good will me."

Gen and Jared looked at each other and said, "Ok follow us."

"Where?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

Gen smiled and said, "Have to wait and see."

We all got in our cars as we followed Gen and Jared. They took us a fair way and stopped at this little place just outside of Vancouver. It was  a  nice quiet little place as we pulled up.

Gen walked over and I said, "What is this place Gen?"

"Jared and I used to come here for dates to get away from everyone."

"It's quiet and quaint little place," Jared said.

"Ok, lets go see."

"Oh, yeah it has amazing burgers and fries too," Jared said.

I laughed as I know they like their burgers especially the bacon burgers. We walked in and there was hardly anyone in there. There was soft music g in the background as we were met but a waitress as we entered. She looked at Jared and Gen and smiled and said, "Nice to see you both again."

"You too, how have you been Alex?"

"Fine the usual working and more working. So would you like seats for 6."

"Yes thank you we are celebrating?"

"Oh, yeah what may I ask are you celebrating?"

"Y/N here just got funding to set up an Organisation to help abused kids."

She looks at me and said, "That's amazing. Those poor kids need all the help they can get. If there is anything I can do to help please let me know."

I smiled and said, "Of thank you."

"Y/N see the painting over there." I turned to see what Gen was talking about.

It was a painting of a scenery with kids and families in it. Was done nice and the person who drew was talented. I said, "Yes why?"

"Will this here person drew it," as she points to the waitress. 

"Really it's really good."

"Nah, I was just goofing around when I drew that."

No, really it's great," as the thought just occurred to me why Gen pointed it out. "Hey I'm interested in looking at any other work you have done?"

"Why?"

"Well we are going to make some t-shirts with a design in the middle and I'm not amazing at drawing so I think Gen here thought you might be interested in helping us. She obviously thinks you talented and I also would like to see some more work too. But if you want you could draw us something and we can take a look. I will give you walk we are looking for and see what you come up with. We will pay you for your time and the design of course."

"Really you want me to design something for your new Organisation?" 

"If you say yes it's all yours."

"Yes, yes, oh God thank you," as she hugs and then Gen who laughs.

"Your welcome Alex you deserve this."

"Oh, I'm stunned." As she takes a deep breath to steady herself. 

"Will that's parts done, I look forward to see what you come up with Alex."

"Sure, do you want to order now?" As she puts the menu's in front of us

Jensen is smiling and holding my hand as I talk to Alex like a professional and was interested in her art. He grinned from ear to ear thinking this might be the best thing to happen to me besides him off course. We a little chuckle to himself as we look to order our menus. .

He looks at me and give me a big smile as I said, "What's that for Ackles?"

"You being all business, I really like it. You are amazing Baby. You will do get with this Organisation and help all those kids out there."

I push him and said, "I hope so Jay."

We all order from our menus as we sit and talk about the Organisation and what we would like to do for fundraising and Gen said, "I can get help with selling jewellery for the Organisation too. All we need to do is come up with something easy and then have it made."

"Like the hearts you and Jared did?"

"Yeah similar to that but maybe a bracelet something with small. Maybe a bird or something like that on it."

"I like it Gen it's sounds nice."

"Ok then we will work on it together if you like?"

"Sure that's sounds great. Thank you all for supporting me today and my crazy notion for an Organisation. It guess it wasn't so crazy after all and they liked the idea. I'm glad I have this opportunity to help these kids and give them a better life."

We all raised our glasses as we all said, "Here here," and we all took a drink. I saw out the corner of my eye Alex also raised her glass and took a drink as well. I know she will be a great assist to the Organisation and hopefully become involved in it full time. 

I looked around at my friends and smiled as I knew this is where I'm suppose to be. With these amazing people as we laughed and hugged each other. My family don't end in blood because as they say on Supernatural they will have your back and I will have there's. They will always be apart of my life as long as I always keep fighting the fight. Together I think we will win this fight and I will be ok. I finally found my place in the world with people I love. 

Now my next adventure begins and we set up the Organisation which is named S.P.A.C.E. I smiled as it was appropriate as children will need space to heal and grow. Yep it was a good choice. I looked once more at my family and smiled. 

Can my life get any better we will have to see? But for now it's all I want.

As we continued to talk about different things and we were completely comfortable with each other. Who knew a few weeks ago I would have this at all. Now I have everything I ever dreamed off and more in my life I felt content. I was happy and amazed how much my life changed in that amount of time thanks to theses wonderful people sitting with me. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for you kind comments and kudos very much appreciated.  
> Hope the next chapter will be up soon. I hope you really liked this chapter please leave comments?  
> Until next time take care and AKF.


	29. Doubts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader is overwhelmed with everything as she gets the Organisation set up. Jensen is supportive and helps her. She meets Alex a young artist and asks her to draw a logo for the Organisation. The Reader needs the comfort of Jensen's arms to help sooth the overwhelming feelings and she realises how much Jensen really does love her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader feels overwhelmed with everything as she gets the Organisation set up. Jensen is supportive and helps her. She almost has a panic attack as Jensen kisses her through it. She meets a young artist named Alex who she gets to draw a logo. The Reader seeks comfort in Jensen's arms as she realises how much he really does love her. I wanted the Reader to be comfortable with touching Jensen penis and telling her what happens when they have sex. 
> 
> I hope it's not to soon for them to be exploring sex together?
> 
> This chapter does get heavy and hot with sex scene (masturbation) if this causes triggers please do not read. Your health is more important than my story. Please take care of yourself first. 
> 
> Warnings: Reader feels pleasure, Jensen rubs Reader to orgasm, She returns the favour and asks questions about Jensens erection. He kisses her breasts, explicit coarse language, Jensen very kissable lips and sexy eyes. Explicit sex scene, they masturbated each other to orgasm. Sorry if I left any warnings out. Don't hate me for this chapter? 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Comment appreciated and welcomed.

I excused myself to talk to Alex about the t-shirts and what I wanted on them.

"Alex can you draw something like two kids with arms around them like they are shielding them and above them a white dove with it holding a love heart."

"I'm not sure but I can try and see what I come up with."

"That would be great Alex. Here's my number when you come with something and want to show me."

"Thank you for the opportunity Y/N."

I looked at Gen and said, "you come highly recommend," as I smile at Alex.

Jensen came over and said, "How's it going Baby?"

"Great I gave Alex my idea and she's going to work on it for the Organisation."

"That's sound great Baby. We better get going as it's getting late and we have a big day tomorrow."

"Yep just give me a second need to use the bathroom."

"Ok, we will be waiting out here for you."

I moved off towards the bathroom as I opened the door and locked it behind me. I needed a bit of space as it finally hit me I was becoming overwhelmed with it all. I stood in front of the mirror and said, "You can do this, just breath in, out, in, out."

I turned the tap on and splashed some water on my face as there was a knock on the door.

"Just a minute?"

"Y/N you ok?" came the voice on the other side of the door. I smiled as I knew who it was who was asking. I turned and I unlatched the door as the door opens and in walks Jared.

Jared said, "Hey Princess you ok, you been in here awhile?"

"Yes I'm fine just felt a little overwhelmed I think it all hit me at once. I'm fine now I just needed a few minutes alone."

"Ok, so you ready to go?"

"Yes, I am when you are."

We came out of the bathroom as Jared had his arm around my waist for support and comfort. Gen looked and asked, "Y/N you alright?"

"I'm fine Gen just a little overwhelmed by everything today."

"That's understandable with the meeting and the attack. Then being told you can set up the Organisation it would have been very overwhelming."

"Thanks Gen for all your help today."

"Hey that's what family does, we stick together through thick and thin."

"Yes we do," I said, "Goodbye" to Alex.

"Be in touch soon," she said.

I smiled as we headed out to the cars. Jensen helped me into ours as he held my hand. Cas and Clif were behind us as Jared and Gen were in front. He kissed my hand as I let the motions of the car lull me into a sleep. Jensen looks over at me and sees I'm asleep as he keeps hold of my hand. 

As we arrived home he gently opens the door and he lifted me out of the car. He carried me with ease upstairs to our bedroom and lied me gently on the bed. As he takes my shoes off as I stir awake. 

"Jensen,"

""Yeah,  Baby go back to sleep."

"I need you to hold me Jensen. I need to feel your arms around me."

"Hey what's going on Baby?" He said in a worried voice.

"I just feel overwhelmed and I need the security of you arms to ground me."

He looked into my face as he gently kisses my lips. He takes his shoes off and climbs in beside me. He moves me against his chest with his arms holding me tight. 

He kisses my neck and said, "It's ok Baby, I've got you."

"Jensen?"

"Hmm."

"I didn't think it would be this overwhelming. I thought it would be a lot easier and not having to worry about logos and fun raisers it was just a bit too much all at once."

"Yeah I know but you handle like a pro Baby. Talking to Alex and letting her know what design you wanted. I'm proud of you, you know that don't you?"

"Mm I do. I will be fine once I get my head around all that needs to be done."

"You know we will all help you too?"

I smiled as I know they will help me anyway they can. 

"Jensen I have an appointment tomorrow with Daniela."

"Oh, Yeah I forgot about that. I will ask Bob for some time off."

"Jensen," as I turned in his arms. "Can we have a session?"

"Should Baby anything in particular you want me to do?"

"No just touch me like you do."

"Ok," as he moves his hand to my face. He gently looks into my eyes as he smiles. He eyes shining bright when he looks at me. He is gently stroking my face as he moves his hand along my jaw and down my neck. He rests his hand there waiting for permission to go further. But before I could give it he kisses me long and deep with his heart and soul. The kiss was making me dizzy as I've never realised how much he loves me until this moment. It's really humbling to know you are loved and finally wanted by someone. 

He pulls back as we are both breathless and he winks at me. I grab his hand and move it along my chest to my breast as he gently squeezes it. He looks at me and I look him in the eyes as his hand slips into my shirt. He explores my bra for a second before his smooth hand goes underneath it. He rubs it and squeezes it as I moan in pleasure. He dips his head as he sucks on it gently until it is hard. 

I said breathless, "Jensen more please."

"You sure Baby?"

"Yes I'm sure, I trust you not to hurt me Jay."

He moves to the other breast and gives it the same attention as I grab his hair to let him know I was enjoying it. I mewled with pleasure as he continued his torment. He kissed his way down my stomach until his reached my belly button. He licked a circle around it as I was shaking with excitement. 

"Jensen said, "You alright Baby?"

"Oh God Jensen. What's happening?" I said, breathless. 

"Your aroused Baby it's your body telling you your enjoying this."

"Jensen what will happen?" As I looked at him with worried eyes.

"Oh god, don't look at me like that Baby. Do you want to stop?"

"No, I want to feel what I was feeling."

He smiled as he moves to kiss me it was a soft kiss as he rubs his hand through my hair. "Love your hair Baby," as he tugs back on it gently to pull my head back. He kisses my neck and sucks and bites my pulse point. As I moan with pleasure and he looks at me as my eyes had gone a darker shade. He smiles as he knows I'm aroused and enjoying this. 

He continues his torture of my body as the pleasure builds inside me. He kisses down my neck to my shoulder and gently bites me down to my breast. He then bites my nipple and licks around it. I could feel the heat between my legs building. I wasn't scare of what was happening I was to lost in the pleasure. Plus I trusted Jensen to be gentle with me. He kisses my stomach as he makes his way down my body to my thighs. 

"Jensen something's happening. I feel like rubber band and I'm about to snap."

"That's because your body needs a release."

He continued to kiss me and I could feel it building and building. My body had a mind of its own and Jensen hasn't even touched me where the heat was building. He moves his hand over my clothed centre. He sits it there for a minute so I could get used of his touch. Then he gently rubs me through my panties.

"Jensen," I say breathless.

He rubs circles on my clothed centre and I tense as I felt like I'm about to explode.

"Almost their Baby a little more."

I jolt when he rubs a little harder and I come undone as I scream his name. I was lying there in a orgasmic haze. I felt boneless like a jelly fish as he lies down next to me. He kisses me and just looks at my face after the amazing orgasm. 

"How do you feel Baby?"

"Jensen," I choked out in a hoarse voice from screaming his name. 

 "Wow Baby that was hot."

"Jensen what happened?"

"You had your first orgasm."

"I did? It felt amazing I could feel it building Jensen. Thank you for showing me how good sex can be."

"It gets better Baby."

"Really?"

"Yep when your ready I will show you how much better."

"Ok, Jensen," I look at him and he's jeans look a little tight. 

He saw me look and said, "I was aroused by you Baby. I will go take care off it in a minute just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Jensen can I help you?"

"Sure if your sure Baby."

I nodded my head as he gets up and gently undoes his jeans and pulls them down with his boxers as well. He stands there for a minute and let's me look at him. His erection is standing tall and proud. He was big and I looked worried. He saw the worry and said, "hey when we do this I will make sure you are aroused and fully opened before I enter you ok."

"Jensen will it fit."

He laughed and said, "Yes a man and a woman are made for each other. It might hurt being your first time but after that you should only feel pleasure."

I look at his erection as I ask, "Jensen what's that stuff leaking out of your um." I blushed as he grins at me. 

"It's pre cum Baby. That's what happens when a mans aroused."

"Jensen is that what goes inside me and makes a Baby?"

"Yes but a lot more. Here let me show you."

He moved over towards me and sits on the edge of the bed, as he gently grabs my hand. I pull back and he said, "it's ok."

I just look as he guides it to his erection. He gently puts my hand on it as I touch it. It was soft and felt like velvet but was also hard. He moves my hand up and down after putting some pre cum on my hand for lubricant. He then moved it down around the underside where the vein was as he groans. I stopped as I thought he was in pain.

"Don't stop Baby," he whispers as he breathing picks up. 

I move faster as his hand directs me what to do. He was close I could feel him tensing and as he holds onto the side of the bed for support. 

"Faster, fuck Baby," he pants out so I move faster. 

"I'm going too...." as he blows his load on the ground below him. I watched in fascination as he empties himself and I had some on my hand. It felt sticky and a little weird. His face showed how much pleasure I had given him. His eyes were close as he rides the wave of ecstasy. He is panting heavy like he had run a mile and he was flushed. I wonder if I looked like that when I had my orgasm. 

"Jensen are you alright?" 

"I'm good Baby thank you."

He bends down and kisses me then gets up to get a wet towel to clean up the mess and my hand. I notice his penis is soft and limp now as well when he walked to the bedroom. He cleaned himself up and put on some pants as he wipes my hand. 

He looks at me, "Are you ok Baby?"

"Yeah that was amazing how your body does that."

"Yes and it can do a lot more."

"Jensen thank you for showing me how to give you pleasure too."

"All good Baby. I'm glad we did this together."

"I am too, it's less frightening to know how some of it goes."

"I will e gentle when we have sex for the first time Baby. I won't rush uni through it. It make sure your ready complete before I do anything alright?"

"I know you will Jay. I trust you."

"I love you Baby."

"I know you do Jensen."

"Ok, let's get some sleep big day tomorrow."

"Yep, you coming to my appointment with Daniela right?"

"I wouldn't miss."

He looks at me and just moves to lie next to me. He kisses my lips as he ghosts over them before actually kissing me. He said, "Night Baby."

"Night Jay."

He wraps me in his arms as he pulls me to his body as he makes us both comfortable. This is where I want to be for the rest of my life in Jensen's arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your wonderful comments and kudos. 
> 
> I was a bit worried with posting this chapter as I wasn't sure how people would react to it. I'm still scared as I write this. I really hope you all like it. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter next chapter visit to Daniela. Might get heavy and Daniela teaches her techniques to keep her grounded when she feels overwhelmed and anxiety build. They also explore more on the flashbacks and she gets her knee checked. 
> 
> Next chapter up soon. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading my story it means a lot. 
> 
> AKF.


	30. Grounded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader is told she has been given a part in Supernatural she declines in favour of setting up the Organisation for the abused kids. She also goes to see Daniela and she helps the Reader with some grounding techniques. The Reader also has a memory while there as Jensen holds her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader gets the Organisation set up but is offered a part in Supernatural. She also sees Daniela and remembers a memory as they work through some grounding techniques. 
> 
> Warnings: Maybe coarse language, mentions of abuse.
> 
>  
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Thank you for reading my story and comments are much appreciated and welcome.

Jensen woke first as he was watched me peacefully sleeping. He moved a bit of hair that had fallen in my face as gently as he could without waking me.

"Hm Jensen that's feels nice," as he rubs his thumb down my face. He kissed my nose and then my eyes.

"Morning Baby, how did you sleep?"

"Good and you?"

"Well I had a beautiful woman in my arms so I slept great."

"Your a goof Jensen," as we both laugh.

"Yeah but I'm your goof."

"Yes you are and Jay I love you."

"I love you too Baby."

"We should get up and get ready. Are you going to talk with Bob to see if we can have the time off for my appointment?"

"He will say yes, shouldn't be a problem. But I will ask anyway."

"Thanks Jay."

"Oh yeah we need to get your knee looked at as well make sure it's healing properly."

"I know I was going to make an appointment with the specialist."

"I might know someone who could help and look at your knee. He's an old friend."

"Ok, if he can see me and happy to see him a Jay."

"I will ring him and find out after we shower."

"Jay can I shower with you?"

"Sure I can hold you while we shower together."

"I would like that Jay."

"Ok, we better get moving then but first I need to do this," he kisses me deeply as I moan into the kiss. He pulls away as I smile and he helps me into the bathroom.

"Jay I can sit on the side of the bath while I undress."

"Hm, I will help you in when we are both undressed."

He pulled his pj pants and boxers down as he takes off his shirt. I pulled off my clothes on had on from the day before. Jensen threw them all in the wash basket to be cleaned. I wait as he lifts me onto my feet and he holds me as I hop over to the shower keeping weight off my knee. He has totally support of me as I move. He stops me before I hop in as he turns the taps on and adjusts the water. 

"Alright the water should be hot now."

I hop in as Jensen's is close behind me holding onto my waist so I don't fall or slip. I am leaning heavily on Jensen as he grabs the soap and lathers it over my body. He's been gentle and caring as he ghosts the soap over my body. It was pleasant and kind of sexy. He looks at me and see I'm lost to his touch. I know he was just washing me but I felt pleasure as he washed me. He moved his hands around my body with ease as like he memorised every inch of it. 

"God Baby your body is soft and beautiful."

"Jay please it feels real good."

"I know but we don't have time for anything else Baby. Jared, Misha and Clif will be here soon."

"I know but promise me later."

With a huge grin on his face he said, "sure Baby."

I rinsed off while Jensen washed himself. Once he was washed off he turned the shower off and grabbed us some towels. He turned me to wrap me in the soft towel. I've been here for a month or so and I still haven't gotten used to how soft his towels are. He looked at me as I hum in contentment. He wrapped one around his waist and helps me into our room. 

I sat on the bed as he dries himself and I dry myself. I was sneaking peeks at him, boy his body couldn't get any better. He was one fine looking man and he was all mine. 

"Jay can you grab me some clothes and underwear please."

"Sure Y/N what would you like to wear?"

"Is it hot or cold today?"

"I think it's cold and we are expecting snow."

"Really I've never seen snow before Jay."

He laughs and said, "Will you might today."

"I guess warm clothes. Jeans and a jumper." 

"Ok, how about I get your favourite jumper and shirt out."

I knew which shirt he was talking about. It was the one he gave me when we first met. I still had the shirt as I normally wear it to bed but I had it washed. 

He grabbed it and some jeans and put them on the bed as well as some black underwear and a thermal singlet. I smiled as he was thinking about how quickly I get cold and he looked and said, "What?"

"Thank you for remembering about me getting cold quickly," as I hold up the thermal singlet.

"Well," he said, with a sheepish grin. "I can't hold you all day and keep you warm so I thought the singlet is the next best thing."

"Yep, you can hold me when we get home later."

"Oh yeah Baby and who knows where that may lead."

I blushed as I knew what he was referring too our session last night. I was still feeling the effects of it.

I got dressed as did Jensen as he finished before me as I was doing my hair and about to go clean my teeth when he looked at me with awe.

"I forgot how beautiful you are Y/N."

"You told me when we woke up."

"I know but look at you, you get more beautiful everyday."

"Jay we better finish getting ready."

So we finished as I left my hair flowing down my back. Jensen loved my hair down as he could put he's fingers through it as it felt soft and smelt like apples. 

We headed down stairs to get some breakfast. We worked together to get everything ready as we sat down to eat. We heard the knock on the door. I yelled out, "its open come in." We were only expecting Jared, Misha and Clif to walk through the door. 

Jared yelled out, "it's just us."

"We are in the kitchen," Jensen yelled back. 

Next you see Jared, and Clif come around the corner. I look and asked, "Where's Misha?"

Clif said, "He's coming in later as he doesn't shoot until 11 o'clock."

"Oh, no one told me?"

"I'm sorry Baby I was suppose to tell you."

Jared looked at me and said, "Morning Princess," as he looks. "Is there something different about you today."

I looked at Jensen and he smiled, "Morning Jared. No, why?"

"You look like your glowing with happiness."

"I am happy Jared."

"Morning Baby girl and Jensen."

"Morning Clif," I said. 

Jensen said, "Morning," to both Jared and Clif.

I said, "we will be ready in a minute."

Clif said, "it's ok we still have some time. Do you mine if I have a coffee Jensen."

"Of course not help yourselves."

Clif poured a coffee for him and Jared as we finished getting ready. Jensen came up behind me in the bathroom while I was cleaning my teeth and startled me. I also would have fallen if he didn't have hold of me. He spun me around with the toothpaste still in my mouth and kissed me. 

"Mm taste nice."

I turned back around and spit it in the sink as Jensen got his toothbrush and quickly brushed his. When I was satisfied I was ready I went back downstairs and waited for Jensen. Jared said, "wow Princess you look nice today."

"Why thank you kind sir," as I giggled and he came over and kissed me on the cheek.

Jensen came down and said, "the appointment is all set after we see Daniela today for your knee Baby."

"Ok, thanks Jay."

Clif put his and Jared's cup in the sink as he looked at me and smiled a bright smile. He said, "Ok we better go or we will be late."

Jensen quickly put our dishes in the dishwasher to wash. Jensen put my scarf, hat and gloves on as he did his own. 

We all went out to the car and Jared decided to sit in the back with Jensen and myself. He had hold of one of my hands as he stroked it gently as Jensen had the other one.

I felt content inbetween the two men I loved most in the world. Jared moved his hand to my face and rubbed gently down the side like Jensen does when we are being imitate or bringing me out of an attack. Jared's hands were warm as my hands were out of the gloves, as I found them hard to wear with the crutches. He lightly ghosted his finger over my hand as I shivered with how it felt. He saw the shiver and asked, "Princess you alright your not cold are you?"

"No, it's the way your touching my hand it feels all tickling and nice."

"Oh, sorry I just wanted you to get used of my touch."

"It's ok really Jared I liked it."

We arrived at the set a short time later when Bob comes up and said, "How are we all today?"

I said, "Good Bob, can Jensen and I please leave early as I have my counselling appointment this afternoon."

"Sure what time?"

"About lunch time," I answered. 

"Alright just remind me if I forget."

"Will do Bob thanks, you two get to wardrobe and change."

They both laugh as they like it when I take charge. They walked to wardrobe when Bob came over and said, "Um Y/N there's something I need to tell you?"

"What Bob?" looking confused and worried.

"Will the other day when you were runnng lines with Jensen, Jared and Misha?"

"Yes I remember, why?"

"Ah Richard filmed you and the producers and myself are shocked with how the camera loves you. We would like to offer you a full time part in the show. We worked it so your in every scene with Jensen to make you feel comfortable. You will be his love interest as well."

"Um, what? Your kidding me right, I'm not, jesus Bob I'm shocked and overwhelmed by this offer."

"Say yes and we can get the scripts written."

"Can I think about it first. I'm just setting up the S.P.A.C.E for abused kids. Can you give me a few weeks to get that set up first and then I will let you know."

"Sure Y/N when your ready I will get them to write the scripts anyway just incase you change your mine."

"What about?" Jensen said as he walks but over to me. 

"Um Jensen I um been offered a part in the show."

"So they liked the video then Bob?"

"Yes they loved her and think she would be great in front of the camera."

"Richard has asked to direct her when she's ready to do it and if she wants to."

"Wow that's great Princess," Jared said. 

"Yeah I am humbled by the offer but I need to concentrate on the Organisation first."

Jensen said, "It's ok Baby the offer will be here when your ready to join the team."

"Thank You for understanding Jay."

"Its fine I know how much the Organisation means to you Baby."

"Yes it does."

Bob said, "Ok, let's get some filming done before the day passes by."

I giggled as it was still early in the morning. Clif looked at me and smiled. Jensen and Jared were on their markers and getting ready to film the scene when Jared was looking at me and Jensen was wondering what he was looking at. 

"What's wrong Jared, Y/N ok isn't she?"

"Yeah she's fine," as Jensen looked Jared added more sugar to Jensen coffee. Jensen turned and waited for Bob to say action as Jared looked on as like it was just another day on set. Bob yelled action and Jensen took a slip of his coffered and almost spat it over Jared as it was too sweet. Jared was laughing so hard he was doubled over and had tears down his face. 

Bob looked at them and then at me.  I hobbled over and said, "Jared you behave or I will have to bring out strict Y/N," with a huge smile. 

He said, "Will strict Y/N spank me?" Which set off another round of laughter. 

Jensen said, "Hey man how about we finish this later and behave or Y/N will lose her job."

"Oh shit I'm sorry I forgot. I will be good Princess."

"Good," as I smacked his butt when I hobbled pass. Jensen looked at me and winked. I was trying not to laugh as Jared said, "ouch that hurt Princess."

"You will get more if you keep misbehaving young man."

Then we all laughed and Bob said, "Ok let's get the scene done."

We got all the scenes done and time went by quickly. Misha came in about two scenes before Jensen I left for my appointment. I told him about the part I was offered and he congratulated me with hugs and kisses. I told him I'm going to concentrate on the Organisation first. 

He said, "Y/N you know Kyle could do it all for you?"

"I know but the Organisation means everything to me and I would like to set it all up and be there to raise money for the kids."

"I know I was just letting you know."

"I know you were Misha thank you but I have a few ideas I was thinking of to help raise money for the Organisation."

"Yeah sounds good Y/N," distracted as he was getting called.

Misha was called to wardrobe before I could tell him any of my ideas. It would have to wait as Jensen and I have to go to my appointment after he did the scene with Misha. 

Bob said, "cut, Jensen and Y/N you both can go. Good luck with your appointment?"

"Thanks Bob and see you tomorrow."

Jared and Misha came over and Jared said, "Good luck and talk to you later Princess."

"Thanks Jared I will let you know how it goes."

"Ok, talk later," as he gives me a kiss on the forehead. 

"We can talk about the Organisation later Y/N, you concentrate on your appointment with Daniela?"

"I will thanks Misha," as he too gave me a quick hug.

They both told Jensen to look after me and said there goodbyes. 

Clif said, "You ready to go Baby girl," as I smiled at the nickname he calls me. 

"Yes, thanks Clif."

Jensen had his hand in the small of my back as he walks out close by me. Clif opens the car doors and we get in. Jensen always sits close by me so he can hold me. I felt safe in his arms and stronger with him by my side. Our relationship has gotten stronger since I first came to Canada. We support each other when either of us is having a bad day and it's nice just hold and comforting each other. 

He said, "Baby."

"Yes."

"Are you ok, I said your name three times?"

"Yeah I was just thinking about our life together and how lucky I am to love you Jay. How different my life is from when I first came here and how good it is now. I can't believe how comfortable I am with you as well. It's the most incredible feeling to know I have you in my life and not worry about being hit."

"You never need to worry about that Baby, I will never hit you ever. You are to important to me, jesus I love you more than my own life. I would do anything to make you happy. I will give you the world if I could."

"I know you would, I feel the same way."

Clif said, "You make a wonderful couple and Jensen if you don't do right by Y/N, I will kick you ass."

Jensen laughed and said, "You will have to stand in line after Jared and Misha."

"I know but as her honorary Father figure I have a duty to protect her also."

I smiled as Jensen said, "So when we get married you will be my honorary Father as well."

He looks Jensen in the eyes through the rear view mirror and deadpanned, "You bet your ass I will be."

I couldn't help but laugh as Jensen looked afraid. Then Clif smiled a big bright smile. Then Jensen laughed as well as Clif looked at him. 

We arrived a short time later, Clif said, "what time would you like me to pick you up?"

"My appointment with Daniela is an hour and then we are seeing Jensen's doctor friend to check my knee. Probably need to have more X-rays to make sure it's healing alright."

Jensen said, "I will call you when we are ready ok Dad," with a smirk.

Clif looked unimpressed and gave him a look that said, don't mess with me. All Jensen could do was laugh as we got out the car.

As Clif pulled away I said, "you shouldn't tease Clif like that Jay."

"Why he had me going?"

I smiled and said, "True but it still doesn't make it right."

"Ok, ok," holding up his hands in surrender, "I will apologise next time I talk to him ok."

"Yes, that will be fine."

As I leaned up and kissed his lips. We walked into the building when the receptionist said, " Nice to see you again Y/N, and Mr Ackles. Please take a seat Daniela shouldn't be long."

"Ok, thank you."

We went to sit down and Jensen had hold of my hand as he rubbed the palm to calm me. He knew I was nervous about this appointment as I am with every appointment with Daniela. 

Daniela comes out and she smiles when she sees us and motions for us to come in. I take a few minutes getting my crutches right as I almost stumble. Jensen moves quickly as he steadies me before I fall. This didn't go unnoticed by Daniela as she looks at Jensen for any hint in what happened. 

He shrugs his shoulders as we move into her room and we sit on the lounge as Jensen pulls me to him to hold. Daniela notices the change in our relationship and asks, "I see you two have become closer. You been doing the exercises I asked you to do?"

I blushed as I said, "Yes we have and it's been nice to feel Jensen's touch."

Jensen said, "Yeah we have been touching each other a lot and it's been incredible," as he looks at me. 

"That's great to hear Y/N, have you been doing the touching with other people around you as well?"

"Yes, Jared, Misha, Clif and even my boss touch my hands, face and arms. Jensen he has also touched me imitately," as I blushed again.

"Do you mine if I ask how imitate?"

"I um, ah shit," I sighed. 

"We have been very imitate when I touched her she got aroused. So the other day we kind of took it a step further," Jensen answered. 

"Further how exactly?"

"Um Jensen and I touched each other intimately in, um our most private of parts."

Jensen was trying to hold back a laugh when he said, "We masturbated each other."

"Oh, that's good you felt comfortable enough to let Jensen touch in that way. Means you are building up your trust with each other. I would like to try something different today if your up to it Y/N."

"Sure, what do you have in mine."

"When you are on your own and there is no Jensen or anyone else, or even if your shopping and you feel an anxiety attack coming on I would you to list people's names or your favourite characters in your TV show, or anything you want too, dogs, cats, names that start with the letter A, anything at all you can think of."

"Why?"

"It will help ground you to the present and not the past."

"Will it work?"

"I've had other clients try this same technique and they all reported it helps them a great deal and it stops the attack as you are so focus on remembering the names instead of the having an attack."

Jensen said, "That sounds really interesting Baby. You could do it went you feel alone or when an attack about to happen. Do you know what you are going to use?"

"That's easy my favourite TV show and my boyfriends beautiful eyes and the different shades I've seen them become."

"Would you like to try now?"

No, I'm good at the moment."

"So let's get you lying down so you can focus on a memory," Daniela said. 

"Daniela I had one the other day when I was in a meeting setting up the Organisation for abused kids."

"Your setting up the Organisation?"

"Yes why?"

"No reason it's good you want to help those innocent kids out there."

"Yeah I couldn't let the poor kids out there suffer like I had to when I can do something to help them."

"Its good to see you open yourself to new possibilities and acting on them. That's a healthy step forward."

"I know but I still almost had an anxiety attack the other day, I was under a lot of stress."

Jensen said, "I had to kiss her to bring her out of it."

"Kissing a good way as she has to hold her breath and it returns her breathing to normal. Can you tell me what it was about? Do you remember the memory Y/N?"

"It was in the kitchen and my father was hitting me and kicking me and then he stomped on my knee. I howled in pain but he kept going until I was bruised and bloody. He didn't care I couldn't walk he made me get up and make them dinner. I dragged my body up," as a tear slipped down my face and Jensen had a tight hold of my hand. "I cried silently as I was in terrible pain. The tears ran down my face as he laughed at me. I made their dinner and was order to cleaned the dishes after. My knee was very swollen and hurt like a son-of-a-bitch but I did it. I was still bleeding from and open wounded above my eye. I dragged my leg behind me as I headed to the bathroom to fix my eye. He stopped me and threw me in my room as I landed on my knee. I had to hold back a scream otherwise he would have beaten me again. So I did what I could to bandage my knee and above my eye. My Mother came in with the first aid kit and threw it at me. So I cleaned up my eye and put some sticky plaster over it to hold it together. My knee on the other hand I had to bandage it and I bit my tongue to stop from crying out. I must have passed out from the pain as when I woke he was standing over me. He looked at me like I was a stranger to him. He looked at my broken beaten body and then walked out," as I wiped the tears away. 

"That's good you remembered the memory without hypnosis. You also know this memory now has no control of you, as it's all it is, a memory your Father is dead and you are safe with Jensen. I want to remember what I told you to do if you have deal with another attack? Can you practice now for me?"

l looked at her as I tried to think of something to say over and over to myself to distract me. I settled on the chapters in Supernatural so I started to whisper their names. Jensen could hear me as he smiled as Dean came first, then Sam, then Misha and so on until I couldn't remember anymore. So I then started on the real names and again until I couldn't remember anymore.

She said, "Ok, I think you got it now. Just say them and keep focus on them and they will help with an attack and keep you grounded so you won't have any flashbacks. I'm not saying they all will disappear but this should help ok."

"Yes, Daniela thank you."

"Let me know next time if it helps?"

"Ok, I will."

"Jensen keep up the good work, keep being imitate with Y/N even if she gets aroused it's a good sign when she does."

"Will do," with a huge smirk and I elbow him in the ribs. 

"So we will set up another time, said in two weeks is that alright Y/N?"

"Yes, if you think it's fine."

She smiles a soft smile and said, "Yes I think your coping a lot better now and you don't need weekly anymore."

"What if I have a set back?"

" Just call and I will fit you in. But you don't good and your getting stronger each and every day. You should be proud of the progress you've made so far."

"Yes I am, all thanks to you for you help and Jensen and his friends support."

Jensen said, "You've always been strong Baby you survived the abuse your parents gave you and the kids at school. You one amazing woman and I love you for the strength you show," as he kisses my lips in a soft kiss. 

"Thank you Jay you help give me the strength to keep fighting," he raised my hand he was still holding and kissed it. 

"Ok, here's you go give this to the receptionist and she will set up your next appointment."

"Thanks Daniela, bye."

"Bye Y/N see you in two weeks."

 

We leave as Jensen said, "we have time before we meet with my friend."

"Can we get something to drink Jensen I'm a little thirsty?"

"Sure are you hungry too?"

"Not really."

He looked at me but didn't say anything as we went to the cafe near Daniela's office. I asked for a hot chocolate while Jensen gotten a latte. He also got us some food as well. He got me a bacon and cheese toasted sandwich while he got a burger. I took a slip of my hot chocolate and got chocolate on my lip as he saw and smiled. He brushes his finger over my lip gently as he wipes it away and then sucks it off his finger. I took a bite of my sandwich as he had eaten almost three quarters of his burger. He finished his and I was still struggling with eating mine. 

"You alright Baby, you love bacon and cheese sandwiches?"

"Yeah, I'm just nervous about my knee."

"Why? If you need an operation on it then I will be there for you."

"I know but I will be laid up for months with recover and physio, what if I can't get the S.P.A.C.E. up and running?"

"Hey, don't worry about all that until we seen the doctor. It might be healing just fine too."

"I guess so I just doing the what if's." 

"Don't because everything will be fine promise."

I give Jensen a tight smile as we finish our drinks and he eats the rest of my sandwich. We head to the back into the hospital and up to the floor Jensen was directed to go too. I was asked my name and then told to have a sit. I had a nervous twitch when Jensen put his hand on my knee to stop it. I could feel the panic rising so I did what Daniela told me to do. I said to myself, Dean, Sam, Misha, Lucifer, Bobby and continued silently when Jensen notice I was deep I thought. He lean over and kissed my neck and whispered, "your safe and everything is fine Baby." 

I took a deep breath when this man walked off to us as Jensen gets up and gives him a hug. He said, "Hey Matt, how the hell are you?"

"I'm good and very busy, but not to busy to see my best bud Jensen."

"This is Y/N," as he turned towards me.

"So your the one he's been talking about. Well he wasn't wrong you are beautiful. So he broken your knee?"

"Yes," as I blushed. 

"Ok, come with me and I will have a look."

We followed him to an examination room as Jensen had his hand in the small of my back. I sat on the bed and Jensen sat next to me in the chair. He made sure to give my hand a squeeze first as Matt noticed the squeeze and realised Jensen really was in love with me. 

"Y/N, I'm going to take the brace off and have a feel first ok."

"Yes ok."

He removed the brace and looked at it the swelling had gone down a great deal over this past weeks. He touched it and I wince slightly as he put pressure on it. He furrowed his brow as I asked, "Is something wrong?"

"I'm not sure yet, we will need a X-ray. Come with me and I will get  done right now."

So we again followed him to the room adjoining his. It was where he got all the X-rays taken. So I was taken in there as Jensen and Matt caught up with each other. 

"So Jay where did you meet her? I here an accent?"

"She's Australia and she won a competition and we were video phoning her. Anyway one thing lend to another and now she here living with me. I love her man, she's the only one for me."

"I saw the ring did you give it too her?"

"Yeah, it's for a promise I made her."

"She is a beautiful woman Jensen you better watch yourself I might steal her from you," with a laugh and a slap on the back.

"Your no competition for me Matt," as he knew I only loved him and have for a lot of years. 

"Oh," as he thought about it. "So how's the family?" As he changed the subject. 

"They are good."

I hobbled out as Jensen gets up and helps me to the chair. Matt said, "You Ok?"

"Yeah just a little tired it's been a long day with work and my other appointment and now this."

"Are you able to make it back to the exam room while I go and get your X-rays."

I lean heavily on Jensen when he noticed I was about to collapse so he lifted me into his arms and carried me back to the exam room. Matt followed with my crutches. 

"Jay is she alright? Do you need a doctor?"

"No, she's fine just exhausted with everything today. Once we finish here we will go straight home."

"Ok, I'll be back in a few minutes."

Jensen was rubbing my face as I kissed him hand. He said, "We will be home soon Baby. I will call Clif and get him to pick us up in 30 minutes."

"Ok," as he dialled the number and spoke to Clif. 

"She's fine Clif just tired it's been a long day for her. Yes I will take care of her, you don't need to worry. Ok, see you then. Bye Clif."

"What was that about?"

"Clif worrying about you and told me to take care of you."

I smiled to know Clif was giving Jensen orders to take care of me just like a Dad would do. It warmed my heart to think of him as my surrogate Dad. Jensen smiled too as he was telling me. 

Matt returned with the X-rays and put them in the machine to see what was going on with my knee. He looked and show us.

"See there that's where the brake was. Look here see how it's healing itself properly and it's not to bad."

"That's good news as I will be seeing my doctor in Australia soon and we will see what he wants to do."

"He will probably want some physio done and I can set that all up after you get back." 

"He did mention it. Your not upset that I would like my doctor in Australia to decide?"

"No of course not he knows your history and the best course of action. But I can tell you it's healing well and should be healed in a few weeks."

"That's great Baby, it's good news."

"Yep it is," as a happy tear fell down my face. Jensen saw it and wiped it away. 

"Thanks Matt for seeing Y/N."

"My pleasure and don't be a stranger Jensen, how about we catch up soon."

"Sure man I would like that."

"Thank you Matt for seeing me."

"It's all good," as he gives Jensen a hug and bends to give me one also. 

"Bye," Jensen said to him. 

"Bye Jensen, Y/N."

I gave him a smile as Jensen lifted me into his arms and carried me to the car as Clif was waiting for us. I had hold of the crutches as he put me down and I rest against the car as he opens the door. He gently helps me in and closes my door as he throws the crutches in the back seat. He hops next to me in as Clif pulls out of the car park. Clif has the music on low as I drift off listening to it. Jensen's hand resting on my knee. 

He sings with the music as I could hear his amazing voice it always had a calming effect on me. He rubs my knee and then moves his hand to my arm. 

"Mm Jensen, that's nice," as my eyes close. 

Clif looks and see that I'm almost asleep and said, "Jensen how did it all go?"

"Y/N did real good and her knee is healing well also."

"That's good to hear," as he smiles. 

Then Jensen pulls me closer to him as I fall asleep. Clif remains quiet as Jensen rubs my face gently as I hum quietly in my sleep. He held back a chuckle as he closed his eyes for a few minutes as well. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your wonderful comments and kudos they are very much appreciated. It helps me as a writer to know if you like the chapter and which way to take the story. 
> 
> All comments are encouraged. 
> 
> Next chapter will be up soon. Thank you for staying with me during this journey with the Reader and Jensen. 
> 
> When I finish this story I'm thinking of doing a continued story with the Reader and Jensen after they go back to Australia. Let me know what you think. You can see when or if they get married, if the Reader gets pregnant aand how she deals with it all. How they build a life together and her role on Supernatural and her at conventions.


	31. Questions and Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the session with Daniela The Reader and Jensen head home. While on the way the Reader decides maybe it's time to find out if Jensen has questions? Will the Reader answer them or will it be too painful. What will happen between them, will it bring them together or pull them apart?  
> The Reader also goes to see Kyle will she be able to do it? Or will she need to Jensen? Or will she have another panic attack?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the session with Daniela The Reader and Jensen head home. While on the way the Reader decides maybe it's time to find out if Jensen has questions? Will she answer them or will it be too painful. What will happen between them, will it bring them together or pull them apart? 
> 
> Sorry for such a long chapter this kind poured out of me this way. I hope it's not to graphic in some places. 
> 
> Warnings: sex scene, female receiving, grinding against against each other, mentions of child abuse, coarse language, comfort, questions and answers, self blame and hate, not good enough, worthlessness, sadness, tears and holding, most of all love, feeling shattered and broken, Jensen sex ass butt, humour, scared, shower touching, lots of moaning. I hope that's everything I am sorry if I left a warning out. 
> 
> I do apologise for any discomfort with the sex scene between Jensen and the Reader. I tried to make it less graphic as I could. 
> 
> Please if there are any triggers please do not read my story your health is more important then my story.

We headed home as Jensen is holding me in his arms like he always does. I was startled awake by a siren nearby as the police car screamed passed. I jumped as I opened my eyes as Jensen is soothing me. I never thought I've ever feel this kind of love and each time Jensen shows me a bit more of himself and his love. I know it can be hard for him with my flashbacks and memories and hearing what happened to me. But after the first session he has been with me and holding my hand through every session since. I should ask him how he feels and see if he would like to talk about anything. He doesn't really mention anything about my past incase it upsets me. I know he would be hurting and angry but he never shows it to me or even expresses to me. So I'm going to ask him how he is feeling when we get home so he will really talk to me. I know he must have questions?

Clif saw I was awake and asked, "Jensen said, "everything when well with both your appointments Baby girl?"

"Yes it did Clif. I should be able to take the knee brace off in a few weeks. I have to see Paul first and get his ok to take it off."

"It's what three maybe 3 and half weeks away."

"Yep it would be nice to go home and see it from a different perspective."

"You sure you want to head back there after eveything that has happened?"

"No, I don't but I need to for my own piece of mind and I need to deal with my past."

Clif said, "I can understand that. I know it will be hard for you. But I know you will deal with it with Jensen by your side."

Jensen reply, "I will always be there with you Y/N."

"Will you Jensen can you make me that promise?"

"Of course I can why wouldn't I be with you?"

"I...um....nothing of course you will," he noticed my hesitation as was wondering why?

"Ok, here we are. See you both tomorrow."

"Bye Clif and thank you."

"All good Y/N."

"Bye Clif," Jensen said. 

"See you both tomorrow," as he pulls away and we head inside. 

Jensen looks at me as we head to the lounge room and I sit on the lounge. He's not sure if he should bring up the comment and the  hesitation in the car so he walks to the kitchen and gets a drink. He comes back with a beer as he sits and just looks at me. 

"Jensen are you alright?" He takes a big gulp of his beer before he decides to speak. 

He swallows the lump forming in his throat as he tries to get the words out. "Y/N," he said as his voice when hoarse as he clears his throat.

"What is it Jay, your frightening me?"

"Ah, it's when you hesitated in the car when I said I will always be with you. What was that about?"

"Oh, you noticed?"

"Of course I did."

"Ok, Jay come here and I will explain everything," he moves to sit next to me as he put the bottle on the table next to the lounge. He waits for me to speak as I try to figure out the words. 

"Jensen can I ask you something?"

"Of course anything we have no secrets from each other." I smiled as I knew he would never have a secret without me knowing about it. 

"Why don't you ever talk about my past with me. I know you got to have questions?"

"Oh," as he lets out the breath he didn't realise he was holding. "I thought it was going to be something much worse. I dont talk about it because one: I don't want to upset you, two I knew you would ask me sooner or later, and three I knew you would tell me when you were ready."

"Are you ready to hear what I have to say Jay?"

"Yes I am. Can I ask you a question?"

"Mm anything."

"If I wasn't ready would you still tell me?"

"No I wouldn't not until you were absolutely ready."

"Ok, that's good to know. I do have questions but I'm not sure where to start."

"From the beginning," as he gives me a wicked grin for the smart ass comment. He had hold of my hands as he squeezes them gently. He kisses me first it's a slow kiss and all he's mixed emotions are locked into this kiss. I moan as he smiles into the kiss, he shifts so he is closer to me as he deepens the kiss. I can feel the excitement coursing through my body as my toes curl. He has he's hand on the back of my head as he tilts his mouth this way and that. He other hand is running his fingers through my hair. As my hands rest on his shoulders and I move my left hand through his short hair. We are both moaning now and we had to pull away for air. His eyes are a beautiful shade  of green and he lips look so kissable. 

He pulled me back as he looks into my eyes. He said, "We will get no where if we keep kissing like that."

"It was incredible Jensen. I've never felt this much love from one person before it's mind boggling to me." 

"I know I've only ever really loved two people in my life and we never kissed like that ever. You know before you came into my life I was closed off to any kind of love. When I saw you cry that first time I knew it was you and only you I was meant to be with. Your the love of my life (as he kisses the promise ring), we are forever Baby."

I had a tear slip down my face in happiness as I smiled at him. "Jensen you are the only one for me too. I knew when I first watched Supernatural in 2005. I wished we would even though my life sucked you were the one that help me to keep going. I know I had days where it was just too much and I did try to hurt myself but I always failed. It was because we were suppose to meet and I knew in my heart it would happen even though my head was telling stop having stupid dreams they will never come true. But here you are and you love me. My life couldn't get any better than this Jensen."

He wiped the tears away as he gently kissed my forehead and just held my hands for a minute and gave me time to calm down. He said, "Can I ask you something now?"

"Yes of course."

"You said your Mother and Father were nice to you up until you were 4 years old. Do you remember that time before the abuse?"

"Not all of it only glimpses here and there nothing concrete."

"So they changed when your Father lost his job, was it straight away or did take some time?"

"It was maybe a few months later when my Mother realised he wasn't getting any better and she lost her freedom and he couldn't do anything and lost his job. I didn't understand what was happening why they hit me and hurt me but I knew I was scare and frightened. I also knew no one cared."

"So how many times has your knee and other bones being broken and not fixed."

"Jensen I sorry for putting through this," as I saw the tears slipped down his face. I put my hand to his face as he rubbed his face in my hand as I wiped the tears away. "You sure you want to continue Jay?"

"Yes I want to know it all. I'm ok, really, listening to this is better than living it."

"Ok, if you want to stop just say ok."

"I will, I love you." 

"Me too Jay me too. Well to answer your question my knee has been broken about 4 or 5 times before. That's why it's in the shape it's in now. I had three broken wrists, a couple of dislocated shoulders, numerous cuts and wounds as you've seen." Looking at my hand he brings my head up and sees a scar he's never really noticed before. He rubs it gently as in question of what happened? 

"My head was bashed against the bathroom sink he split my head open. They told the hospital I tripped and fell when they patched me up.  See here as I show him other scars it's where they bashed me against things leaving me bleeding most time except the head wound. They couldn't let me die or they wouldn't have a slave no more. One last thing they broken all my fingers on my right hand by slamming the toilet lid down on them I was 8 I think. I remember screaming with the pain as he threw me in my room. I tried so hard to please them Jay but I was never good enough for them why did they hate me so much. Why?"

He gathered me into his arms and held my while I keep saying why, why in his arms as I cried. He rubbed my back as he pulled back and kissed my forehead rubbing my hair out of the way. As he kisses me deeply on the lips. This wasn't like the other kisses this was different. It was a comfort kiss as he was more demanding in our lips and tongues touching. He wasn't rough in any way he wanted to show he loved me and that I will be ok, as I have him now and I always will. He pulls away still holding me in his arms. 

"It's ok Baby, it's wasn't never your fault you were just there for them to beat on and hurt. You or anyone else wouldn't been good enough for them," as he swallowed the lump forming in his throat again. He whispered as he said, "You were just unlucky enough to be there. They hated themselves so much that they couldn't hit each other so you being defenceless and little you were an easy target Baby. But you lived through it and your getting stronger everyday. Look what you have achieved so far. You have a job which you love. You're setting up the Organisation which you never thought would happen ever and you've been offered apart in the best show on TV." 

I laughed a sad laugh but he rubbed the tears away and he smiled. He eyes were wet with tears as well. 

"I haven't finished. The best thing you your life is me, Jared, Gen, and the kids, Misha, Vicki and their kids, Bob and my family, my Mum and Dad both adore you and so does MacKenzie and Joshua. So you are good enough and wanted now you will never be alone ever again. I will always be here for you and go to any appointments you may have if I can't I know Jared or Misha will go with you instead that's what we all are one big family. Even the SPN fandom are your family now also so you have them too. So you have an amazing bunch of people who love you and will be there for you."

"Thank you Jensen, I never though I was good enough for anyone I always felt broken and shattered but I know how much you all love me I feel it everyday and see it everyday. I'm glad you contacted me and I have this incredible life now. I could've done any of it without you and the others thank you. I love you more each and every day Jay. Your the light in my heart that once only had darkness and it feels good to see the light now and the darkness being pushed aside."

"Anytime Baby I will always be your light and show you how much you are loved and wanted in our lives."

"I know and I love you for it all."

"Um, can I ask you?"

"What?"

"Do like my sexy butt?" I laughed as I know he was trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh, I don't know I've seen better butts," as he pouted with a fake hurt expression. 

"Really you don't like this," as he slapped his booty. 

I got closer as I rubbed my hands over his very firm booty and I gave it a squeeze as he moans with want. 

He got his own back then and squeezed my ass and then pulled me closer to him. I could feel him as he lays me on the lounge and attacks my neck with kisses and bites my pulse point as I mewl in pleasure. My hands were moving under his shirt as I rubbed them up his back. He was lying on top of me as I took his weight comfortably. He snakes down my body and kisses my breast through my shirt and he looked at me with a grin on his face. 

"Jensen please, I need more," as my blood was boiling with lust. I could fill the coil build in my stomach as he moves down between my legs. He lifts them gently up and he bends the knees being careful of my injury still. Then he removes my panties I was moan so loud now as he puts a finger on my womanhood. 

"So wet for me Baby, you sure you want this?"

"Please Jay."

"Ok, I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do so there's no surprises ok."

"Mm, Ok I trust you." 

"I'm going to rub you like this," as he demonstrates with his finger. 

I moan more as he rubs gently in circles. I jerk a little with the sensation as he held my stomach down. "Easy Baby, their you go. Alright now I'm going to put my finger in you and gently move it in and out." 

I'm tossing my head from side to side as he moves it in. "Wow, your tight Baby." 

"Jensen please need to, oh Jensen," as he rubs my breast as he moves his finger as he's hitting my sweet spot. He bends over and kisses me as I bite his lip with my teeth. 

I was so close to exploding as he moves faster. "Cum for me Baby," his voice all husky with desire. I scream as I squirted on his hand. 

"Jensen I didn't just wet myself did I?"

"No, you squirt for the first time." 

I looked dumbfounded by what he said, he saw the look and said, "You cummed but the sensation when I hit your sweet spot made you squirt. It perfectly normal and natural. When we have sex you will do it sometimes." He gets up to get a wash cloth to wipe us both down as I noticed his pants. 

"Jensen do you want to um release yourself," as I looked at his ballooning pants. 

"Yeah but I would like to try something here you alright with that?"

"I don't know, what do you want to try?"

"Are you alright to stand?"

"Yeah why?"

He helped me up as he positioned my back against the wall for support. 

"I would like to rub myself against you body but first I need to put these back on."  I looked at him as he gives me my panties and jeans back to put on. He helps me and then he looks at me and see the worry. "Don't worry it's perfectly safe."

"Jay what if I get....., couldn't finish the sentence.

"Pregnant," he finished for me. "It's safe we have our clothes between us and no chance of getting pregnant ok."

"Ok, Jay that's looks painful. I'm good if you want to try and give yourself some relief."

He moved closer to me as he kissed me and gently rocks his hips against mine like we are grinding each other. He moves us like we are dancing together as he is moaning as I am following his sounds. As our denim makes contact with our sensitive areas. I'm thinking, how I could possibly orgasm again. But the faster he moved the tighter my stomach got with the butterflies in it. The familiar feeling was building as I knew how much I really liked it as I was getting hot and flushed. His hands are holding my hips as he is groaning in my ear. "You feel so good Baby, I'm close." 

"Jay what's happening I could be, ah, oh, my Jensen is it?" As I cried out with another release as Jensen screams my name as he empties himself into his jeans. He breathing heavy as he still moving slowly against me. Yep we both just peaked again. Our breathing settled as my legs feel like jelly as Jensen picks my up and put on me on the bed. 

He's face is red and sweaty as his voice is hoarse as he clears his throat. "Wow, that was incredible. Thank you for trusting me and helping me find relief."

"It's ok it was kind of sexy and different. I didn't realise we could find our release more than once?"

"Yes a women and man can orgasm a number of times during sex."

"That's incredible Jensen. When we eventually have sex what will you do?"

"I put my manhood inside you and do what you have already experience but with my manhood instead."

"Before we do that can we you know watch some porn first," as I blush.

"Of course I won't do anything until you are completely sure."

"I know." 

We cleaned up and put on pjs on and went to bed as Jensen whispered in my ear. "You're amazing Baby and I love you."

"So are you Jay and I love you too."

As we fell asleep I dreamt of Jensen and a baby. It was a little girl and she looked like her Dad. I was moaning in my sleep as I giggled and was talking. Jensen woke up and listened as I giggled and he knew it wasn't a nightmare I was having but an actual dream. 

He kissed my forehead and went back to sleep. He pulled me closer as he like being the big spoon and I was comfortably against his body.

The next morning the phone rang as Jensen answered it.

"Hey Jensen, here?"

"Hello, Jensen, Kyle here is Y/N there?"

"She's still asleep but I can wake her for you," as he rolls over to see if I'm still asleep.

"Jensen, who is it?" As I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes.

"It's Kyle!"

"Ok, I will speak with him."

Jensen passed the phone over as I say, "morning Kyle, how can I help you this morning?"

"Well I was wondering if we could met and talk about the Organisation today?"

"Um, I will have to talk to Bob and see if I can get time off from work?"

"Oh, I forgot you worked at the set."

"Yes, I do and I love it. Can I call you back later and let you know?"

"Of course and sorry for waking you both."

"No, it's fine really. Bye Kyle speak soon."

"So what did Kyle want Y/N?"

"He wants to work out what to do for the Organisation?"

"Like what?"

"I'm not sure, oh you think Bob will give me some time off to work this all out?"

"I don't see why he wouldn't once we explain what it's for. Do you want me to come too?"

"I think I will be ok Jensen, I have to do things on my own without you sooner or later. I think I'm strong enough to do this."

"You sure?"

"Yes Jay I'm sure," as I gave him a kiss.

"Ok, call me if you need anything at all and Baby I'm proud of you."

"Thanks Jensen it means a lot to me." 

"You're going to be amazing and people are going to see how good a person you are and help you raise money."

"I hope so otherwise it won't be going anywhere."

"We better get up and get ready. You need to ring Bob and ask him for a couple days off."

"Yep I'm a little worried he will say no?"

"He's a good guy just explain it to him."

"Ok, I will," I picked up the phone and dialled Bob's number.

He answered on the third ring. "Hello Bob speaking."

"Hi Bob, its Y/N."

"Hi Y/N, how are you?"

"Good, I need to ask you something. You can say no is you want to but it's important to me."

"Ok, what is it?"

"Can I please take a couple of days off to set up the child abuse Organisation see how it was supported by Random Acts." I said all in one breath as I took a deep breath when I finished. Bob was laughing as he told me to breath. 

"Of course you can. I know how much this means to you from what happened with you. We will muddle through without you. If the boys misbehave I will tell them they will have to deal with you when you get back."

I giggled as I knew they will pull pranks on each other while I was gone and Bob knew it also. 

"Thanks Bob I appreciated this."

"Take as long as you need. Your job will be there when you get back. Shit your the only one who can handle them anyway," with a laugh. "Jensen isn't going with you?"

"No, I'm going alone."

"Are you sure, you will be alright?"

"Yes I think I will I need to learn to be on my own, as Jensen has other commitments and isn't always going to be able to be with me."

"True but I can send Clif with you as support?"

"I would like that but please let me try to do this. If I get into any trouble I will call Jensen or I'll get Kyle too."

"Ok, of your sure?"

"Yep very sure but thank you for caring Bob."

"Hey your family now we take care of each other."

"I know. Bye Bob see you in a few days."

"Bye now and take care."

"I will promise."

We hung up the phone and Jensen asked, "so I gather he was all for it?"

"Yes he was and he said to take as long as I needed. He was worried about you three on set and pranking each other."

"Who us nah we will be good," with a devilish grin. 

 "Yeah right Jay I know what happens when you all get together."

"I swear I will be good, scouts honour," as he puts up three fingers like the scouts do.

"Were you ever a scout Jensen?"

"Well no but it's the principle of it."

"Ok, ok I believe you. I bet call Kyle and let him know I will be meeting him today after all."

"Don't be too long I will be waiting in the shower for you," with the biggest grin.

I tapped his arm and said, "Oh, your incourageable Jensen Ross Ackles."

"Yeah I know," as the laugh followed him to the bathroom. 

I dial Kyle number and he answered straight away. "Hi Kyle it Y/N."

"Hi Y/N, so can you make it?"

"Yes I can where do you wish to met."

"We can do it at my office or I can come to you if that makes it any easier for you?"

"I would say yes for you coming here but I need to try to do things on my own so I will met you at your office at 9am. Is that alright?"

"Yes fine see you then."

"Bye Kyle."

"Bye."

Then I heard Jensen call out, "hurry up Baby it's awfully lonely in here without you." 

I giggled as I hobbled in on the crutches as he turns to look at me. "About time I missed you."

I put the crutches up against the wall and undressed as he came out to help me in the shower. It was nice to feel the hot water over my body as his hands massaged the soap into my shoulders as I moaned. 

He smiled as he moved his hands down my body and lathered the soap all over me. His hands were big but very gentle as he moved over my familiar body. 

He kissed my neck as I moaned as he bit my pulse point. He continued to attack my neck with his teeth and lips. As he turned me around and I kissed his chest and licked up to his jaw. He was moaning as I kissed him ferociously. We knew we didn't have time for anything else so we just kissed and explored. He was smiling as me when he sifted back a bit as I looked into his beautiful incandescent green eyes. They shone with happiness and love. He finished washing me and then himself and turned the shower off, he grabs us some towels and slowly wipes me down. It was torture as he went ever so slowly stopped at my most private off areas. As he wiped they slower still, I moaned as he looked at me. 

"Jensen please stop the torture, we can't do this now we don't have time?"

"I know I just like to touching you and you know what to expect next time we are alone."

"I know God I know and I can't wait. Maybe we can watch some porn Jensen and I can see what happens between a man and woman before we go any further?"

"Sure Baby anything you want."

My stomach growled at that moment and we both laughed. "I want some breakfast I think."

We got dressed and headed down for breakfast. As we looked at each other it was the hottest thing ever. Our look has changed since we have been imitate with each other to the fact Jared has made comments about it. I like to look at Jensen boy he has a hot body and a gorgeous face. I blushed just thinking about last night when we were very imitate. He saw and smiled as he knew what I was thinking about. 

"You alright Y/N?"

"Yeah just thinking about last night when we um did that thing with our clothes on."

"I thought you might have been when you blushed you still look gorgeous when you do that. We can do it again if you like when you knee is better."

"Yes I would like that Jay."

We a grin which reached his eyes he said, "me too."

Then there was a knock on Jensen's door and in walks Jared, Misha and Clif.

Jared is always the first one to kiss me when they come in. "Hey Princess, how are you?"

"Good thanks Jared and you?"

"Great. Hey Jensen?"

"Hey Jared."

Misha looked at me and said, "Are you alright you look a little flushed?"

"Oh, yeah I great," as I hid behind my hot chocolate cup.

"Ok, I was worried you might be getting sick."

"Nope I'm good really."

Clif said, "Hey Y/N, Jensen?"

"Hello Clif, how are you?"

"I'm good and you and Jensen."

"We are both good," Jensen answer. "Y/N won't be coming to work for the next couple of days."

All three of them looked at me with worry. I smiled and said, "I'm fine, I'm just meeting with Kyle to set the Organisation that's all."

They let out a collective breath when Jared said, "Are you....?" I cut him off, "yes I'm sure. I need to do things for myself and I can't keep relying on you all. Please I need to do this."

"Ok, if your sure."

"Yes I am. But can I ask you one thing?"

"Sure anything?"

"Promise me no pranks on Misha or each other while I'm gone. I will be very disappointed in you all if you do."

They all looked at me and each made a promise not to prank each other.

I smiled as Clif asked, "if I needed a lift?"

"Yes that would be good that's Clif." 

Jensen pulled out his wallet and handed me some money as I looked at him. "For lunch Baby."

"Jay thankyou but I have money for lunch."

"Alright I didn't want you to go hungry."

"I'm good shall we go then."

We all went to the car as Jensen always helps me in and holds me to we reach the place. Misha knew where to go so he gave Clif directions as he sat in back with us as he held my hand and stroked my face. He hasn't touched me in awhile and it was nice to feel his hand on my face. Jensen was whispering in my ear, "You got this Baby. Remember I'm very proud of you."

Clif pulled up as Jensen  hopped out and helped me. Everyone wished me good luck as Jensen held me tight in his arms. This would be only the second time we have been apart since I moved here. He kissed me long and hard as he didn't want to let go. 

"Jay," I whispered. "I need to go, otherwise I will be late."

"I know you sure, but you don't want me," I stopped him by putting my finger on his lips. 

"I love you Jay but I need to go."

He shook his head as he kissed me again. I moved away from his embrace and hobbled into the unknown for the very first time. I looked back as Jensen got back in the car and he waved and Clif drove off. I turned back around and walked into a place I've never been before as my heart hammered in my chest. I kept saying an affirmation to myself, your strong you can do this. At the moment I didn't feel strong I felt like I was going to puke but I made my way forward towards the reception desk. As I look at all the names and the receptionist is looking at me. Can I do this or will I need to call Jensen or worst have a panic attack?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter. I am sorry this kind when it's own way. I hope you liked it and thank you for your messages and kudos. They all are very much appreciated and welcomed. 
> 
>  
> 
> Next chapter hopefully be up soon. I'm sorry this too so long to post. Next chapter maybe porn and some real sex or maybe more exploring. The Reader gets stronger and deals with an attack on her own.
> 
> Important notice:  
> Ok just letting you all know if you can not read chapter 32 is because I am rewriting it hoping it will download the whole chapter so it will be delete tomorrow. So please bare with me as I'm trying to fix this problem as quickly as I can. Thank you.


	32. Sorry

Sorry I am having trouble with posting the next chapter as it is only posting half of the chapter. So I have deleted it for now and I will rewrite it fresh in the next couple of days. 

I am so sorry if you were reading this chapter as I have also changed some of it as well.

Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause any of you and I hope you will continue the journey with me. 

There aren't to many more chapters to go. I will be heart broken when I say goodbye to the characters and the story. It everything comes to an end I guess. 

Take care and have a safe new year. 

Secretfurrydragon.


	33. S.P.A.C.E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader is setting up the organisation with Kyle when she see how much money is available for the funds. She goes into a panic attack. Can she use what bring herself out of it using the grounded technique or will Jensen needed to be called in? Can she do this on her own?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader is setting up the organisation with Kyle and has an panic attack. 
> 
> Warnings: panic attack, doubt, afraid, sexy texting, Kyle talks about his sisters suicide. Sorry if I left anything out. Maybe coarse language. 
> 
> All warnings will be at the beginning of each chapter now. 
> 
> Please take care reading this if it can cause any triggers. Your health is more important than my story. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes my own. 
> 
> Comments welcomed and appreciated and encouraged. Please let me know if you are liking my story any comments are welcome. I will answer all comments. 
> 
> Ok here's the next chapter finally yeah. I am sorry for the delay I hope you can forgive me. Archive finally told me what the problem was and hopefully I've fixed it. Here's hoping you all get the whole chapter.

I looked nervously at the receptionist as she waited for me to ask to see someone. She looks over the computer screen and asks, "Can I help you?"

I swallow the lump in my throats and whisper, "yes I um have an appointment with Kyle."

"One moment please," as she picks up the phone and talks to someone I presume it's Kyle.

Next thing I knew Kyle was standing in front of me. He looks at me and gives me a warm smile. He comes over and grabs my clammy hand and holds it for a second just to reassure me everything was ok.

"Thanks for coming Y/N, how are you?"

"Tell you the truth I'm terrified," as I wipe my hands on my clothes and clutch them for a second to help with the shake in my hands.

"It's ok, let's go this way," as he guided me towards the conference room behind the building. It was quiet and peaceful as I hobbled over to the window. Wow I thought he has a nice view.

"Nice view isn't it?"

"Yes it is. It's lovely and calming," I said. 

"Yes I sit in here sometimes to just think."

"It must be nice and relaxing as well?"

"It is, look at the trees," that were white with snow it did look absolutely unbelievable as I never seen snow until I moved here and it still amazes me. 

"The lake which is frozen over due to the cold snap we are having it's very unseasonal weather. But it's still beautiful with the birds it's picturesque. It was one of the reasons I brought this building was for this view and the closeness to all the shops nearby. Please have a seat, would you like something to drink or eat maybe?"

"Maybe a hot chocolate to warm me up a bit," as I take of my heavy coat Jensen made me wear to keep me warm.

"Just give me a minute while I go organise your drink," I shook my head as he left. When he returned I was looking at the window again. 

He just watched me for a second as he cleared his throat I jumped as I was lost in my thoughts. 

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to startled you. Penny for your thoughts?"

"I was just thinking of how lucky I am."

"In what way?"

"I have Jensen and really good friends and people I trust and care about. I have this amazing job I love and now my dream of setting up the organisation is becoming a reality. It's a little overwhelming, you know I had nothing before I can here. I was barely living if I stayed there I probably wouldn't be alive today. Jensen gave me something I could never repay him for......my life and love."

"I've noticed how very protective Jensen, Jared and Misha are of you."

"They saved my life Kyle. They flew around the world at risk of being fired to make sure I was safe, and I hadn't hurt myself. I knew then they would be a big part of my life."

"You are lucky he really loves you. I'm surprised he's not here with you?"

"He wanted to, but I told him I have to do this on my own. You should have seen him awhile ago he wouldn't let me go went we arrived here. It would be the first time we have been apart since I left Australia."

"I know it must be hard for you both?"

"Yes but I'm getting stronger everyday and with the help of my therapist I'm getting there. Also, the love and support Jensen, Jared and Misha gives me."

"That's really good to hear Y/N. So, shall we start," there was a knock on the door as his secretary walks in with food and two cups as she puts them down. "Thank you, Susie."

She walks out and shuts the door. He gives me my cup of hot chocolate as I take a sip. "Better?"

"Mm, much thank you."

"You're welcome. Let's start ok I just want to know where you want the organisation to go?"

"Well we have a name for it. It's called S.P.A.C.E. for 'Save and Protect Abused Children Everyday.' I would like to see it go worldwide and help kids in Australia as well as other countries. I have a friend designing the t-shirt and logo for the organisation. I know with Jensen, Jared and Misha's donation I hope it will be enough to set it up and get the phone lines working."

"Actually the funds we have are more than you think?"

"What I don't understand. I thought Jensen, Jared and Misha were only putting money into this?"

"oh they didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Here I will show you?" He grabs a piece of paper with a bank statement he had set up. I looked at it and saw their separate deposits and I saw an extra one from Random Acts as well.

"What that's a lot of money but I thought?" as I stopped mid-sentence. 

"Obviously they all believe in the organisation and what you want to do. I guess they believe in you."

"That's way too much money," I could see my eyes were becoming unfocused and my breathing was becoming harsh as little or no air was getting into my lungs. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. No, I thought I'm not having a panic attack as I started saying Jensen, Jared, Misha, Gen, Vicki, Shep, Tom, Odette, West, Donna, Alan, MacKenzie and Joshua over and over. I didn't know if I was saying it out loud or in my head. 

"Are you alright Y/N?" as he touches my arm. "Do you want me to call Jensen?" As I didn't answer as I didn't hear him. He watches me quietly for a few more second and gets his phone out ready to dial Jensen. He continue to say things to me but I couldn't hear him, he was getting worried.

I was trying to calm my breathing as it was coming in short pants as I continued to say Jensen as I pictured his face in front of my eyes, then Jared and the others over and over again. I finally found my eyes focusing on Jensen's face as he was smiling at me and my breathing settled as I took in a deep breath of air. Kyle had hold of my hand rubbing it gently like Jensen does. It was calming to know he was there with me. 

"Are you ok Y/N, do you want me to call Jensen to come get you?"

"No, I'm good please don't call Jensen I have to do this on my own."

"Yes alright but you don't look so good now."

"I'm fine I just never thought they would put that much money into this. What if I fail them and the organisation doesn't take off?"

"It will, and I will make sure the money is spent appropriately so you never have to worry about how it's spent. I will keep your accounts and whatever you need for anyone it will be distributed and the main priority is making sure the kids are safe and not in any kind of danger. So, this money we have been given will help a lot of kids out there. We will still need to keep raising funds and doing charity auctions and things."

"I'm really overwhelmed by their generosity. I knew Jensen was donating but I never knew how much. They must have talked about it and decided they each would donate the same amount."

"It looks that way. I'm glad they are supporting you in this. But we need to move on are you sure your alright?"

"I'm good, I'm so sorry Kyle, I will pull myself together."

"It's ok, I should have prepared you before I showed you the amount. Misha also donated some of GISHWHES money into this as well. So, we are doing good to help the kids. We need to work out are we going to have separate phone lines, or will we use GISHWHES phone lines?"

"I think it would be better to use different phone lines but have them in the same building as GISHWHES as we are going to need volunteers to man them."

"Yes, we are that's a good idea. Maybe I could ask the volunteers who aren't working for GISHWHES lines to volunteer on ours."

"Ours," I look at him with a raised eyebrow. 

"Yes, I will like to be a part of this organisation and help as much as I can. I don't care about being paid I just want to help the kids."

"Why Kyle?"

"Well I have a personal interest in this."

"Do you want to tell me?"

"Ok, but I've never told anyone this before this is why I was so quick to believe in you Y/N. My sister was bullied at school. My parents and I didn't know until she committed suicide. I was in my teens when this happened she was a couple years younger than me. She left a note telling us how much pain she was in and what was happening to her. I never knew I could have protected her from it all, but she never told me. I thought the change in her behaviour was puberty and her attitude as well. My sister and I were close but went she changed we drifted apart where we barely spoke to each other. In some way I blame myself for her death. She didn't deserve what happened to her and now I want to make sure it never happens to anyone else ever again."

He wipes his eyes as I had hold of his hand and I say, "I'm so sorry Kyle. There was nothing you could have done if you didn't know."

"I know if I took more notice of her."

"You were young you didn't know what was happening to her."

"Yeah I guess I miss her though. So, when you spoke about your abuse I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by again. Maybe this time I can save some innocent children's lives."

"Yes, we will Kyle."

"Enough about me. Let's work out accomodation for the kids."

"I was thinking maybe a temporary safe shelter. We have all this money we could build one or buy one in each city. We could have safe people there for support and maybe get them some counselling and new clothes and maybe prepare them to go to school."

"Wow this is going to be huge Y/N," he said. 

I laughed at his excitement and said, "Yes, we will need to raise a lot more money as well."

"That we will. Hey why don't we start small and find a safe place here in Canada first for the kids and see how it goes?"

"Sounds good Kyle. So we need to look at a place where there's multiple rooms and the doors lock so the kids feel safe. Maybe have trained staff there for them as well."

"Ok, let me look into some properties and see what I can find?"

"Ok, so we need to decide on fundraising, any ideas?"

"Well maybe Jensen, Jared and Misha could do a guess appearance or a carnival type thing. Maybe a dunk the star or kissing booth?"

"I can imagine Jensen all wet and I," I sighed as I remember him all wet. "Maybe a fundraiser at a convention as well. I will have to call Alex and see how she's coming with the design and logos for the organisation."

He smiled at me when I stopped. "So we get the design printed on t-shirts and jumpers?"

"Maybe hats and a bracelet could be done as well."

"You really have thought about this haven't you?"

"I've had years to think of how I want this organisation to go to help the kids."

"So we have worked out about the money, a place for them to stay safely and fundraiser. Oh yeah the logo as well."

"I will let you know about the logo when I call Alex?"

"It's ok no rush at this stage."

He looked at his watch and realised that had worked through lunch. "Wow, it that the time?"

"What time is it?"

"Almost 2pm are you hungry?"

"I am a bit."

"Shall we go eat or would you like to eat here. I can get something brought in."

"No, I would like to go and eat in the restaurant down the street if you don't mind?"

"Ok, let's go."

We get up and head out the door Kyle tells his secretary where he will be and to hold all calls. We take our time going down the street as I look around at everything. Kyle is walking beside me chatting about where we are heading. He seems relaxed and enjoying the walk.

He takes a deep breath and said, "Y/N what do you like to eat?"

"Well at the moment I'm trying new things as I've never really eaten much of anything before but my favourite would have to be bacon and chocolate cake."

He laughed as he said, "Yes, good old chocolate cake it's one of my favourites too."

"Jensen's being buying different food for me and we share what we get as I never be able to eat it all."

"He must love you very much Y/N."

"Yes and I love him very much too."

We reached the building as we walked in all these different smells hit me. There was burgers and chips, curries, bacon, Chinese and there was something I couldn't work out what it was."

He directed me towards a table and we sat down and he offered me a menu. I opened and looked at all the different foods. There was main courses and lots of desserts. I was looking at the dessert when Kyle said, "you can have dessert first if you want too?"

"I can, I only do that with Jensen sometimes we eat dessert first."

"Of course you can what would you like? "

"Um, I'm thinking maybe trying something new like maybe a trifle or cinnamon doughnut with the chocolate drizzled over it."

"Why don't you get both."

"I'm not sure I would eat both?"

"Alright then we will get both for you to try."

I was about to say no when the waitress came over and he order the desserts for me. He also ordered us two hot chocolates with extra marshmallows in it.

The waitress left and my phone beeped. I looked at it and it was Jensen.

"Hey Baby, How's it all going?"

"Fine Jay we are having a late lunch."

"I miss you Baby," with a red heart emoji.

"I miss you too," with a purple emoji.

"I miss your sexy lips and how soft they are and those amazing eyes."

"Jay please I'm here with Kyle."

"I miss touching you and holding you close."

"God Jay, stop I'm blushing."

"You look so, so sexy when you blush Baby. Wait to you get home I'm going to give you a night you won't forget. I'm going have you screaming my name."

"Oh, my Jay this is so hot. I can feel the heat rising in my body."

Kyle cleared his throat, "Are you alright Y/N? You seem to be blushing. I take its Jensen?"

"Oh I’m sorry Kyle," as I got more red with a blush. “It is Jensen telling me he misses me. Jay I have to go. I love you," with a face with heart eyes emoji. 

"Ok Baby see you soon. I love too," with two small heart emoji's. 

"Bye Jay."

"Bye Baby."

Then my phone stopped pinging and Jensen was gone. Kyle noticed the look on my face. "Is everything alright Y/N?"

"Yeah I just miss him when I'm not near him."

"I understand he has been there for you."

"Yes he has."

"Do you enjoy your job Y/N?"

"Yes I love it and I get to see Jensen, Jared and Misha everyday. I know it's silly but they keep me grounded and I feel stable with them nearby."

"Like before with the almost panic attack. I heard you repeating there names over and over until you brought yourself out of it."

"Yes my therapist told me to try the grounding technique to see if it helps and it did."

"That's good isn't it," as I looked a little sad.

"Yes it is but I feel lost without Jensen. He's always been here with me. He's my rock when I braking and he catches me every time and puts my back together with his love and support."

"It's good you have Jensen but now you know also you can deal with and attack on your own if you have too. This is good news Y/N shows your getting stronger."

"Yes I know and I'm glad really I just wished he was here."

"Ok, tell me what you do on set," changing the subject and to occupy my mind while we wait for lunch.

"I'm what you would say there boss I make sure they behave on set."

"Behave in what way?"

"They like pranking each other while on set and it was disrupting filming so I'm the one that keeps them in line. I'm their PA's I guess and I always on set when they are."

"Is it a hard job to do?"

"No they are great when I'm there. Sometimes they slip up but I sort them out and it's business as usual. Bob said, "he can't get over how much work his achieved since I've been there to keep them in line."

"Wow you must be one tough lady to deal with."

"No, not really I just explain and tell them if they misbehave I could lose my job."

"Ah, guilt them into behaving," he laughs as I thought about it and maybe I was.

"I'm not sure if I am. But they are good while I'm there. I was helping them with their lines the other day and apparently Richard filmed me and now they want me to star in the show."

"That sounds really interesting."

"Yeah but what if I'm not good enough to star in a famous tv show with Jensen, Jared and Misha."

"You will never know unless you try it and see what happens."

"Yeah I guess so."

"You will be amazing like you are with the Organisation. You will succeed in anything you do. You deserve to be happy Y/N do what you think is right for you. Once we get everything set up you can do the tv show if you want too."

"Really you have a lot of confidence in me Kyle."

"That's because I've seen your strength and your ability to preserve and achieve even when life was kicking you in the guts you still manage to pick yourself up. I know you've had some let down's but being here I've seen the strength inside you."

I looked down as he gently lifts my head and sees the tears, "I've never had anyone besides Jensen, Jared and Misha have that much confidence in me. Thank you Kyle it means a lot."

"It's going to be ok you know you will have an amazing life with Jensen and you will have a equal good career as well."

Just then our food was placed on the table as well as our hot drinks as I wiped my eyes. He gave me a soft smile as he motioned for me to eat. I picked up the spoon and had some trifle as I hummed in satisfaction. He laughed as he watched me eat it. I then had some doughnut wow it was mouth watering. We ate quietly as I was enjoying both of my desserts. He took small bites of his cake he had gotten.

When I finished as much as I could he had the rest wrapped to take home with me. I looked at him and said, "That's was amazing I've never tasted dessert that nice before.,

"Oh, there are a lot of other desserts to try. Maybe next time you could try two more different ones?"

I smiled and said, "That would be nice thank you Kyle."

The waitress brought over my leftovers and the bill. As I pulled out some money to pay my share of it when Kyle stopped me. He gave back my money and said, "my treat Y/N."

"You sure I have money."

"No, it's all good."

"Ok as I put my money away thank you."

My mobile rang again as I looked at the number it was Alex getting back to me.

"Hi Alex, what can I do for you?"

"Hi Y/N, I've finished the design if you would like to see it?"

"Of course I would love to see it Alex."

Kyle said in a whisper, "Alex is the one doing the design?" I nodded, "can she bring it into the office now so we can see it?"

"Alex, Kyle's has just asked can you bring it into the office so we can see it today?"

"Yeah I guess I can be there soon where is he?"

"We are in a restaurant near his office on Misty. But we are heading back to his office now. Are you nearby?"

"Yeah about 5 minutes actually I was visiting a friend nearby."

"Ok, see you soon then. Bye Alex."

"Bye Y/N".

"Alex will be here in 5 minutes give it take traffic."

"Ok, we better head back to the office then."

He grabbed my food as well thanked the waitress and left we arrived at the same time Alex did. She saw me as she comes over with a huge portfolio under her arm. She gave me a quick hug and said, "Hi Y/N."

"Hi Alex this is Kyle. His our financial officer and decides where all the money goes."

"Oh, hi Kyle I'm Alex."

"Hi Alex shall we," as he directed us towards the doors.

He took us back to the conference room where we were before as Alex was freaking about the view. She turns and looks at Kyle said, "nice view I would love to draw it one day?"

"Thank you I would like that if you did. I would love to see what you draw?"

I watched them exchange pleasantries and then we sat down. He said, "So you've come up with a design and logo?"

"Yes would you like to see it?"

"Of course," as she puts the portfolio on the table and opens it. She pulls out several different drawings as I look at them. Kyle was spellbound at how good she is.

I pulled one aside it was a picture of two kids in the palm of a hand with a dove holding a heart. It was exactly what I asked her to do she even put our name on it as well. It was amazing then there were others of just two kids and the dove. But I liked the first one I pulled aside as Kyle looked at it as well. He liked it two as he smiled. Alex watched us as we looked at her drawings. She was holding her breath when I finally said, "I like this one Alex it's what I asked for and it's amazing."

Kyle said, "Wow you are very talented young lady Alex."

She let out the breath she had been holding and said, "Thank you I'm glad you like it."

"It's amazing Alex we just need some colours now and then it will be our logo for S.P.A.C.E. Well done Alex you should be proud."

"I am it's my best work to date."

"Yes it is but I've seen your other drawings they are amazing too Alex."

"Not as good as this one."

"You did well Alex."

"Thank you. So what colour were you thinking of?"

"Maybe bright so the logo stands out and the t-shirts as well."

"Ok, I can do that. I can have it done by tomorrow for you."

"That would be great Alex, we will see you tomorrow then?"

"Alright about 9am as I work at 10am."

"Sure shouldn't be a problem see you then."

Alex leaves as I yawn and Kyle calls it a day. "Y/N go home get some rest and we will work on this again tomorrow."

"I am tried I better ring Jensen to come get me."

"Ok, you can wait here if you want too."

"Thanks Kyle see you tomorrow," as he walks out and I ring Jensen.

"Hey Baby."

"Hey Jay, can you and Clif come and get me we have finished for the day," as I yawn into the phone.

"Sounds like it was exhausting day Baby?"

"Yes but we got a lot done and sorted. I will tell you about it when you get here."

"Won't be long. Love you."

"Yeah, love you with a yawn too," I could hear laughed as my mobile went dead.

I sat on a chair and looked at the window where I must have fallen asleep. Jensen arrived 20 minutes later where he found Kyle as he directed Jensen into the room I was waiting in. They both found me sound asleep as Jensen looks at me with love in his eyes. As he crouches down and rubs his hand down my face. He said, 'Hey sleepy head I'm here."

"Jay is that you?"

"Yep it's me. You fell asleep and you looked so comfortable Baby I didn't want to wake you."

"Mm it is nice here Jay," as I open my eyes and look at him. He's smiling at me as he kisses me gently on the lips. Kyle said, "You both right I still have some work to do. See you tomorrow at 9am Y/N."

"Yep ok see you then Kyle and thank you."

"My pleasure get a good night's sleep. Bye now."

"Bye Kyle."

"Bye Kyle," Jensen said, as he helps me up and just holds me too him. "God I missed this all day just being able to hold you."

"Me too Jay. Shall we go home."

"Yep Clif’s waiting for us."

"Ok lets go," I gave Jensen my leftovers to carry as we walked out of the building to Clif waiting in the car.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your wonderful comments and kudos it very much appreciated. 
> 
> Next chapter they finish with the meeting and setting up the organisation. The Reader goes back to work and makes a life changing decision. Can you guess what that will be? Sorry you will have to wait no extra chapter hopefully be up soon. 
> 
> We be taking a mini hiatus from the 21st January 2018 till the 26th January 2018 as I will be going into hospital to sort out one of my health problems. Hopefully will have next chapter up before then.


	34. It all begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have the logo all figured out now they need to find the perfect place for the kids to stay where they will be safe. Will they find it or is all the properties rundown and not liveable?
> 
> Jensen and the Reader have some them time and there is some touching involved in the bath. Do they go all the way or is the Reader still to scared and unsure?
> 
> The Reader makes a big decision is it the right one or could it be all wrong for her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about this chapter being so long but I will be taken a short hiatus for a few weeks as I'm going into hospital. 
> 
> Warnings: touching in bath, taking off clothes in a sexy way, coarse language, reader scared, Jensen sorry, Reader excited. Any other warnings I forgot I'm sorry. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Please comments always welcome and encouraged. Hope you enjoyed this chapter?

Jensen was carrying my food as his other hand was in the small of my back. As we head out to the car Clif saw me and got out and gave me a hug. It was like he hadn't seen me in a hundred years.

“How was your day Baby girl?"

“Good we got a lot of work done.”

“That's good to hear.”

“Y/N,” Jensen said.

“Hm you look exhausted you are alright?”

“Yeah it's been a very busy day I just need some sleep.”

“Ok,” as he kisses my hand and helps me into the car. Clif climbs in as does Jensen. I'm leaning on Jensen heavily as my eyes were heavy and I was about to fall asleep. Jensen has hold of my hand like he normally would as he whispers in my ear.

“Sleep Y/N, I will wake you when we pull in.”

I hummed as I close my eyes he's humming a song that is down low on the radio.

Clif said, “She alright Jensen?”

“Yeah just tired Clif. She will be fine when she's had some sleep.”

“Ok, I've seen her tired but never this wore out.”

“Yeah I know what you mean Clif,” he moved a bit of hair that had fallen in my face. As he just looks at how peaceful face was. Clif takes his time driving home as he just likes having us in the car with him even though I'm asleep.

“Jensen do you want to stop and get some dinner so you don't have to cook?”

“Sure Clif that would be great.”

Clif pulls into a fast food place as Jensen is careful to hop out and not wake me.

“I will stay here with Y/N.”

Jensen shook his head as he walks over to the place and looks at their menu. Clif is watching me sleep as he smiles. He always wished for a daughter but unfortunately it wasn't to be. So he consider me as his daughter and you know I love Clif like a father he was kind, caring and the most gentle man there was. I felt safe with him and I knew he would protect me. Jensen returned a few moments later with burgers as he handed one to Clif and he smiles as Jensen always thinks of other people.

Clif said, “she must have been exhausted, she didn't even wake up.”

“Yeah I will talk to her when we get home I think there is more to this.”

“What you think she's had an attack that's why she's exhausted?”

“Possibly I've seen how tired she gets after an attack I think she might have. If she did how did she cope without us there to help her. I knew I shouldn't left her alone but she wanted to do it on her own.”

“Hey man you gotta have faith she can do things in her own. Maybe it was an attack it might have been a lot of work.”

“Yeah she did say they got a lot done. She was proud that they had worked out some things.”

“She's going to be amazing Jay. She loves you very much as well.”

“Yeah she is and I love her,” he looks at me with heart eyes.

 

We arrive home and Jensen is hesitant to wake me as I look so peaceful. He decides to carry me into the house with Clif’s help. Clif put our food in the fridge as he waits for Jensen to return. He settles me onto the bed as he takes off my shoes and changes me into my favourite night shirt. He said, thanks to Clif for his help and walks him to the door. He locks up and comes up stairs. He lies down next to me after pulling his shoes off.

He pulls me to his body as he kisses my neck and whispers, “I love you.” He closed his eyes and is asleep a few minutes later his day had been a busy one with the stunt scenes he had to do. He was a bit sore from the fight scenes but a nice hot shower will relieve the aches and pains. He cuddled into me as we slept. He felt the comfort of my body next to his.

I woke a few hours later as I felt Jensen next to me. I turn and look into his handsome face. He was still asleep so I slipped from the bed and went downstairs to started dinner. I look and see the fast food Jensen had brought I knew he probably brought it to save us cooking but I wanted to make him something nice. So I hobbled around the kitchen on one crutch as I pulled things out of the fridge. Cooking was normally Jensen’s thing to do but I have been helping him cook so I think I can manage homemade hamburgers for us to eat. I cut up the tomatoes, lettuce and cheese.

As I cooked the burger which I had made from scratch I was very proud of myself. I set them aside and cleaned the pan as I cooked the bacon and eggs. I put the buns in the toaster to cook. I have everything almost done when the fire alarm went off. Jensen wasn't even fully awake when he literally flew days the stairs almost falling to get to me. I'm in the kitchen with a towel trying to stop the alarm when he runs in and almost hits the cupboard as he stops himself and just looks at me. I haven't noticed him yet as he watches me with a smile. He was fine now he knew I was alright.

I was saying, “son of a bitch stop already before you wake Jensen.”

“Too late Baby.”

I jumped at least 5 feet in the air when Jensen spoke.

“Shit you scare the crap out of me Jay,” I shouted over the noise of the alarm it was deafening.

“Sorry I thought you might have heard when I almost hit the cupboard,” he yelled back.

“Can't hear anything over this,” pointing to the alarm and my ears. Jensen walked over and opened the windows and turned the fans on as the alarm finally stopped but not before I yelled out, “I was cooking you dinner Jay.”

He laughed as there was silence. “So I see. What happened?”

“This,” as I held up the bun that I pulled out of the toaster.

He chuckled as said, “ok you want me to cook them for you?”

“Could you please,” as I stood at the stove cooking the bacon and eggs still.

He comes up behind me as I rest against him and he kisses my head. I turn slightly so he can kiss my lips. It was a sweet kiss as I turned back. He stepped aside of me and cooked the buns. When everything was cooked we put together our hamburgers and I had tomato sauce and Jensen had mustard and sauce. He carried our plates into the lounge room with our drinks as we sat down.

He looked at the food and said, “it looks wonderful Baby.”

“Thanks Jensen I wanted to make you something nice for dinner.”

“You did looks great.”

“Dig in,” as he took the first bite and moaned with satisfaction.

I smiled as he was enjoying the burger. I took small bites of mine as Jensen had most of his eaten by the time I had eaten half. He stopped to have a drink and then put the rest on the table and he continued to eat. I managed ¾ of the burger but I was full. Jensen ate the rest of mine as well. He got up and took the plates out as a very loud burp was heard in the kitchen. He yelled excuse me. I just giggled and he laughed. He came back after all the dishes were in the dishwasher and sat down next to me.

He motioned for me to lie on his chest, so I moved myself as my legs were resting next to his. His arms were around me as he took in a deep breath and the scent of my hair.

“You smell amazing Baby, your hair smells like apples. Today was hard without you there I kept looking over to your seat expecting to see a smile.”

“I know I missed you today to Jay. Um, I need to tell you something that happened today?”

“What happened Y/N?”

His voice had changed from the light banter to a serious voice so I knew something was bothering him.

“Jensen I had a panic attack today.”

“What why didn't you get Kyle to call me?” I turn in his arms and look him in those amazing green eyes.

“He wanted too Jensen but I asked him not to. I got through it I used the grounding technique Daniela taught me. I said your name and Jared, Misha and so on. But you know what brought me back?”

“No, what?”

“I pictured your face, when you fell in the bath with me, when you gave me this,” as I moved the promise ring. “Every time we had a special moment I pictured them all. It brought me out of it. I was extremely tired after it but I managed to continued to work Jensen.”

“Wow Baby that's good the technique worked, I proud of you, you did it on your own but you still should have gotten him to call me at least to tell what happened.”

“I asked him not to Jay I wanted to tell you myself and I was alright.”

“Yeah ok but next please let me know?”

“Ok, I promise I will if your not with me,” I kiss his lips and he settles me back so I'm lying on top of him as he hugs me.

“I love you Y/N.”

“I love you Jensen.”

We just hold each other for awhile until he was getting uncomfortable so I moved off him and get up.

He grabs my hand and asks, “where you going?”

“Might have a shower want to join?”

With a raise eyebrow and a devilishly grin he gets up and follows me upstairs. But he turns on the taps for the bath instead. He looks me in the eyes as he starts to unbutton my shirt. I felt a shiver go down my spine with each button as the butterflies fluttered in my stomach.

He got to the last button as he slowly pulled the shirt from my shoulders. As it shimmy’s down my body and finally hit the floor. He kisses my neck and shoulder as he looks at the mark he left a few days ago. His eyes sparkle as he moves and kisses my neck on the other side leaving a matching mark. He has his arm around me holding me up. I'm moaning as he bites me gently on the collarbone. He removes my bra and throws it on the floor. He squeezes my breast with his spare hand as my legs feel weak under me. I stop his hand as I move to look at his clothed body.

I pull back and I rip his shirt open all the buttons go flying everywhere. He looks at me with lust in his eyes. I kiss behind his ear as he bends down for me to reach as I'm standing on my tip toes he's hands are supporting me around the waist. He let out a growl as I kiss and bite his ear. I move to his chest as I bite little marks down to his nipples. He muscles ripple as I touch him.

He is moaning with want as I move kiss his nipple as I lick around it until he is moaning obscenely. I move to undo his belt on his jeans and undo's the zip. I pulled them down as Jensen kicked his shoes and socks off. I looked at him as he shimmy out of them as I look at him. He standing there in his boxers as he helps me out my clothes. He looks at me and gives me a wink as he follows with a smile. I blush as he pulls my panties down and goes to touch my heat. 

I stop his hand again as I'm looking at the bath. He pulls his boxers down as he helps me into it and he climbs in after me. He positions himself so my back is on his chest. He turns the bubbles on as he moves his hand to find the soap. He pickes it up and moves it between my legs as he rubs me ever so lightly with it. I moaning as I squirm on top of him. I could feel his cock getting hard under me. 

"Jensen," I moaned. As I gripped the bath but I couldn't let this go all the way I wasn't ready not yet. So I grabbed his hand and moved off him as he looks at me and saw the scared look on my face. His cock goes soft once he sees my scared face. 

"I god I'm sorry Y/N, I didn't mean to," I put my finger to his lips and said, "You didn't I'm stopped it I'm not ready yet Jensen. I'm so sorry." As I put my head down in  shame and guilt. 

"Hey," as he gently put his finger under my chin. "It's ok, I shouldn't have pushed you."

"You didn't Jensen was I was enjoying it. I'm just not ready for what comes next that's all."

"That's ok, when you are I will be here. I will wait until you are Baby. I'm not going to push you into something your not ready for. Come here." 

I move to him as he kisses me deeply to show he wasn't mad or angry at me. I had a tear slip down my face as he wipes it away. 

"How about we just had a nice relaxing bath together nothing physical alright."

"Thanks Jensen," as I relax against him again. 

We just spoke and caught up on our days while relaxing in the bath. He laughed when I told him what happened with the texting and what Kyle had said. 

"Wow, so he knew it was me then?" 

"Yeah he thought it was you when I was blushing."

"Baby," he said in a serious tone. 

I turned to look at him and his eyes were downcast for a second while he thought of what he wanted to say.

"Jensen, everything is alright, isn't it?"

He moved his eyes up and said, "Yes everything's fine. I am, I just worried about you being on your own. It's hard for me to let you go that's all."

"I'm not going anywhere Jay."

"Not what I mean. When you do things on your own it's hard for me not to worry about you. I miss you when your not with and I don't know if your alright?"

"Jensen I miss you too but I need to do things for myself. I know you worry as I do about you. But I'm know one thing it's that I come home to the most incredible amazing man ever."

"Really?"

"Of course Jay. You're my hero, you saved me. I would never be able to repaid you for that. But I can give you something in return my love and my heart. I know it's not much but that's all I have to offer you."

"That's all I need Y/N and that's all I want."

"I love you more each day Jay."

"I know and I love you too."

We were silent for a minute as the water was getting cold so I looked at Jensen and said, "I think it's time to get out of the bath Jay."

"Mm," as he moves me and gets up. He bends down and helps me up as he lifts me over the bath and puts me on my feet as he climbs out and pulls the plug. He grabs a couple of towels as he wraps one around himself and then the other around me. As he helps me into our room. He sits me on the bed as I just look at everything Jensen Ackles has given me. I have this amazing room with the most comfortable mattress and warmth in the room itself. 

He has also given me, my very first loving home which I thought I would never have plus unconditional love which is all very new to me. I know I love Jensen more than my own life but this is more than I imagined it would be. He has excepted me with all my baggage and flaws and still showed me he cares. 

I also have wonderful friends and family which I wasn't really looking for but found me. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. 

Jensen saw my far away look and asked, "Penny for your thoughts?"

I giggled and said, "I was just thinking of all the amazing things you have given me Jay. I feel more complete with you than I have my whole life. You have taken me in with everything I have been through and excepted it all. I know it was a lot but you never gave up on me and for that I am very thankful."

He bent down in front of me and looked me in the eyes and said, "It's my pleasure plus if there is no you in my life there might as well be no me as we are connected Y/N. I feel the lost when you are not near me and my heart aches to see you again. I know it sounds corny but it's true. I'm like a love sick puppy when your not around. When we are together my heart is overwhelmed with love and happiness."

"I know I feel the lost as well Jay. It hurts here," (as I put my hand over my heart).

He kisses me on the palm of my hand as he smiles at me. "We better get dressed," he said.   

"Yeah I guess we should," as my skin was cooling from being wet. 

I wiped myself and put my pyjamas on as did Jensen. We went down stairs and watched TV for awhile. We both fell asleep in front of the TV. 

 

We got up and did the usual things that that needed to done in the morning. Jensen said, "you working with Kyle again today?"

"Yes Alex is bringing in her pictures which we saw yesterday and I asked her to put some colours on them."

"So she has done the artwork you both like them then?"

"Yes she has but you, Jared and Misha will get to see it this afternoon when I return to work."

"I can't wait Baby."

"We are also going to look at some properties Kyle has been looking out to set up a safe home for the kids. I told him to make sure to was big and we can install locks on the doors so they feel safe."

"That's a really good idea. Are you going to make sure their is someone their to counsel them as well?"

"Yes we are organisating counsellors, and people who can help them with money, food and clothing. Your donations which I was shocked with how much you all donated well help but we need to still do fund raising to keep them supported."

"It was the least we could do plus you're doing all the hard stuff."

I hobbled over and said as I stood in front of him, "When Kyle showed me the amount I panicked and it almost brought on the attack. I kept thinking what if I let you all down and you lose all your donations."

"I'm sorry I should have told you we talked about the amount between us and thought it should be enough to get the Organisation up and running. It's a good course and we wanted to help you."

He held me in his arms for a minute as he looked me in the eyes and I said, "That's really nice of you all to have that much faith in me."

"We do believe in you and the Organisation. You have a wonderful heart to help these kids Baby."

"Jensen you know how much I appreciated everything you have done to help me and the organisation?"

"Of course I do. You don't have to say anything my money is your money also. We are going to be married one day you know. What I have is also going to be yours too."

I had a tears slipped down my face as he watched me. Just at that moment Jared, Misha and Clif knocked on the door. Jensen went to answer it as I wiped the tears away. He opened the door and they all said, their good mornings as Jared asked where I was. Jensen of course told him I was in the kitchen as he rounded the corner and stopped and saw the red puffy eyes. He looks at me then to Jensen.

"Hey Princess, you alright?"

"I'm fine Jared just happy," as I smiled. 

"Really?"

"Yes, I would like to thank you and Misha for your generous donations. It will help us buy a house for the kids who can't stay at home safely."

"Your welcome Princess," as he lifts me to give me a hug.

He puts me down as Misha was standing quietly off to the side of us. He came over and gave me a hug also as he smiled at me. Clif was the last to hug me. 

Misha said, "We knew how important this was to you and we thought it was a really good idea."

"You know it was actually Gen's idea as Shep wanted to donate his piggy bank to help you. But Gen told him that we would donate and we talked about it," pointing to Jensen and Misha. "That we would donate the same amount but enough to get you started."

"Yes Kyle showed me the amount I was surprised by how much you all donated. I would like to thank you all for your support and encouragement. If it wasn't for you all I would've followed my dream."

"Your one amazing , kind hearted woman Y/N and we will do what we can," Misha said. 

"Y/N and Kyle saw the logo for the organisation yesterday."

"Really so what's it look like? Do you like it? Do we get to see it as well before you decide?"

"Hang on Jared one question at a time. It's looks amazing, yes Kyle and I both like it, yes you will see it this afternoon when I come back to work."

"Your coming back today?" Clif asked.

"Yes I couldn't be away from my boys. I was lonely without you all."

Misha said, "Do you need any help today?"

"Kyle and I were going to look at a few house later this morning."

""Really I only have a couple of shoots today can I met you and Kyle at the first house."

"Sure if you want too. We could use your expertise in real estate Misha."

Jensen said, "We will see you later after lunch then Baby. Sorry Jared and I can't come too some of us have to do the hard work," with a chuckle. 

"That's ok Jay. You and Jared will see it if we find a suitable house."

Clif said, "Would you like me to drive you, Kyle and Misha to each house while Jensen and Jared are working."

"That would be nice Clif, if it isn't to much trouble."

"Too much trouble for me girl never. I would love too. I will bring Misha with me. Do you want us to pick you up at Kyle's office at around 10.30am."

"Sounds great thank you," as I give him a kiss on the cheek and he hugs me too him. 

"Ok, we better get going or Bob will have our asses for being late."

We all head out to the car as I sit in back with Jensen and Jared for a change. Jared had my legs across his lap as Jensen had me leaning against him. 

"God I missed this Baby."

"Me too Jay."

Jared looked at me and rubbed my legs it felt nice having him touching me again. I haven't had time for them to touch me like before. Cliff pulled up and Jensen said, "I'm walking you in today Baby."

I knew not to argue with him as he helped me out and we walked in. Kyle was waiting for me as I was directed to the back of the building again. We entered when he saw us both and came over and shook my hand and also Jensen's. 

"Morning Kyle."

"Morning Y/N, how are you feeling better I hope?"

"Yes much thank you."

Jensen said, ""Morning Kyle."

"Morning Jensen its good to see you."

"You also. Kyle can I ask you something?" 

"Sure Jensen, what can I do for you?"

"I would like you to let me know when Y/N has an attack. I know she asked you not to call but can you as I would like to know what is happening."

"Of course Jensen I will definitely call if it happens again. I'm so sorry I didn't."

"It's ok really Y/N told me she got through it and was ok."

"She did and she is absolutely amazing how tough she really is."

"That she is Kyle."

"Ok, I will leave you too alone for a minute while I go get us something hot to drink."

"Y/N I better go before Clif sends Jared in here to get me." 

"See you this afternoon Jay," he dips his head and kisses me on the lips it was a sweet kiss. 

"Love you Baby."

"I know," he laughs when he gives me one more look and walks out. 

Kyle comes back with our hot drinks and we do some small talk while waiting for Alex. 

 

Alex arrives with the pictures a little while later. She is beaming with happiness as she said, "Good morning."

I noticed the way Kyle was looking at her like he really liked her. She seemed oblivious to him as she was focus on the logo's. She pulled out the pictures and I have to say wow they were incredible with all bright colours. Kyle looked at me as we both were trying to decide which one was the best one. 

"Alex these are amazing I love them," as I give her a quick awkward hug with my crutches. 

She was so proud her smile got even brighter. "I decided to do the bright colours so the t-shirts stay out more. We can also put them on different colour t-shirts as well."

"You really did think of everything Alex. I would like to use them both, one for our logo and the other for our merchandise. What do you say?"

"Really you like them?"

"Yes we do, don't doubt yourself you are a wonderful artist. Kyle what do you think?"

"Y/N's right you are an amazing artist Alex and with the logo you have done it will be a great addition to the Organisation."

"I'm so happy," Alex replied. 

"You should be."

 

The time had slipped by as we spoke about the different colour t-shirt, jumpers, hats and coffee mugs we could do. Kyle said that Random Acts has a printer that can help us with the printing and to put the design on everything. So we decided we would do it exactly how Alex had dreams it and coloured it. She was so overwhelmed with happiness. Alex had to leave for work but Kyle said he would put a cheque in the mail for all her hard work. She nodded as she bid us goodbye. 

The next half and hour when with Kyle making phone calls and expressing what he wanted on everything and pricing it all. Misha walked in  with Clif about 20 minutes later. I looked up at Misha and was surprised the time has gone by so fast. 

Kyle got up and greeted them both as I said, "Misha has offered to help with the house search and Clif would like to drive us if it's ok?"

"Sure it's ok, I heard Misha is good at spotting amazing properties."

He laughed and said, "Yes well we will have to wait and see."

"Misha how's Jensen doing?"

"He is fine and trying hard to concentrate on his lines."

"I know he's worry about me but I'm fine."

"You look amazing Baby girl," Clif said. 

"I feel amazing. Hey look at this!" As they followed me over to the table. 

"Is that the new logo?" Misha asked. 

"Yes what do you think?"

"Will Alex lived up to what Gen said about their artwork."

"Clif what do you think?"

"It's wonderful and stands out."

"Yes it does and look at the detail in each drawing, she really is talented," Misha said. 

"Do you think Jensen and Jared will like them too?" 

Misha grabbed my hand and said, "Of course they will Y/N. If you love them they will also."

I blushed as Kyle said, "we better get going have six properties to look at today and see if they fit for us."

"Of course lend the way," we all walked out as Misha walked with me as Clif walked behind me to make sure I was alright. 

We arrived at the first property which looked good on the outside but a wreck on the inside. That went for about 4 of the six properties until we pulled up to the next one and I knew this was it. It was huge and in really good condition as we make our way inside. 

Kyle said, "it used to be someone's home but we can rebuild the inside if we need to."

"I love it, it amazing."

"it's in good condition and solid. The plumbering and everything works. We will have to rebuild to put decent size rooms in here but the good thing is we have three stories to work with," Misha said. 

"So you like it too Misha?" He laughed at my excitement and how wide my eyes were. 

"Yes I think this is it our house."

"Yeah," I said clapping my hands. 

"Ok, then I will put in a bid and see what happens."

We then took a closer look around, there was a inground poool, the lawns are well maintained and looked after, there was a guest room at the back of the house as well. Yep this is the house that these kids are going to feel safe in. When we finished we took Kyle back to the office and he said, "ring you tomorrow with any information Y/N." 

"Ok, thank you Kyle."

He smiles and waves as we drive away heading back to the set. We stopped to get a bite to eat first and then continued our journey. I was so excited to tell Jensen and Jared what was happening I kept moving in my seat when Misha told me to settle. 

We finally arrived as I tried to get out the car and almost felt as I was trying to get the crutches out at the same time as myself. Misha and Clif were trying not to laugh at me. I hobble into the studio when Jensen saw me and he ran over to me and twirled me around. 

"Jensen are you alright?"

"Am now your here."

 Jared walks over and kisses my cheek and said, "It's good your here Princess, I missed you telling us to behave ourselves," with a huge smile. 

I tapped Jared on the shoulder and Jensen laughs.

"I have a lot to tell you both but first I want to show you something?" As I sit in my seat so I can reach into my bag and put out the pictures.

"Here look at theses and tell me what you think?" I hand them to Jensen as he opens them and he and Jared both look at them. 

Jared's eyes widen at the sight of them. Jensen smiles and said, "hey these are great. Alex drew these Baby?"

"Yes and we have decided to use them as our logo and the print for our t-shirts."

"That's wonderful Princess they will sell and the organisation will be a success."

"Yes that's what I'm hoping. We have a convention here in Vancouver coming up don't we Jensen?"

"Yep, why?"

"Thinking of trying to sell them there at the convention. Maybe do a bucket pass around for donations."

"What a good idea will they be ready by then?" Jensen asked.

"I'm not sure I will have to ask Kyle he has arranged all this."

"I, we are proud of you Y/N," as he points to Jared, Misha and Clif. 

"Princess you have come so far and look what you have added to your achievements the organisation."

"You are definitely one determined woman Y/N. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you but I wouldn't got anywhere without all your support. You all should also be proud of what we all have built."

Clif steps towards me and said, "You may me proud everyday your here with us everything else is a bonus." As he hugs me and I wipe the tears away. 

Misha said, "We also have found a building for the kids also. It's in good condition all we need to do is put rooms in it for each kid so they feel safe."

"I loved it the first time I saw it I know it was the one for us. It has class but also spirit."

"You will have to show us one day Y/N," Jared said.

"Sure anytime."

Bob walked over and said, "nice to see your back. I thought you will be gone for another few days Y/N."

"No, I've done all I can at the moment."

"Alright then lets started shooting."

"Hang in a minute I have something I would like to tell you all?"

"What Baby?"

"I've decided to do the show."

Bob looked startled at first but he quickly got himself under control. 

"You have that's great news Y/N. I will let Richard know and we have scripts already prepared for you joining us."

"Really, but how did you know?"

"I didn't I just hoped you would."

Jensen looked at me and said, "I'm glad you will be on screen with us. It will be great all of us together."

"I'm glad your happy Jensen," his smile was enough to tell me he was over the moon. 

Jared said, "Hey we will have to run lines together as well."

"Yes we will and so excited about this Y/N,"Misha said. 

Clif said, "Yep definitely you will be amazing."

"Thank you all for your encouragement and I'm excited too. Everything seems to be coming together the Organisation and setting it up. Now the part on the show it will be great."

Yes I was excited but was my bubble about to burst whenever something good happens the other shoe normally drops and it's the end of my dreams. Will it happen this time or will it all be alright. I guess I will have to wait and see. Until then I can enjoy what I have achieved and what was to come in my life. It couldn't be any better than this. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and kudos they mean a lot to me. 
> 
> Not sure when the next chapter will be up as I'm taken a little hiatus until I'm better. So please stay with me and I will becoming to the end of my story soon.


	35. First day on set

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader first day on set. Will it go well or will everything go wrong and she gives up before she even starts. Will Jensen be supportive or not like her being there filming? Are they headed for a fall or will everything work out? Will Jared and Misha be supportive or not?   
> Will Richard get his dream of directing her for her first episode?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Readers first day on set will all go well or not? 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter I have written a little different to the other chapters as I thought it was a special chapter to write. 
> 
> Warnings: fight scene, makeup with bruises and blood, coarse language, violence, support, praise, love, Reader being comfortable, enjoyment, Richard an amazing Director, Jensen and Reader are in love, sweet moments between them on the dance floor, sorry if I left any warnings out. 
> 
> Thank you all for staying with me through my health issues I am feeling much better and definitely on the road to recovery. Still one other thing that needs sorting and I shall be fit and healthy soon I hope. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> All comments are most welcomed and encouraged.

Well what can I say it's my first day on set. Yep I'm absolutely terrified and yet oddly excited as well. I know I have Jensen, Jared and Misha there with me. When they gave me the script my hand shook everytime I tried to turn the page. Jensen would hold my hands steady while he would kiss me to calm me down. I like Jensen's kisses they do have that effect on me. Richard had asked to direct the episode with me in it. He told Bob he saw something in me and wanted to show the world. They also decided to film the episode over two weeks so I can do my scenes and be as comfortable as I can with them. 

  
Bob of course agreed about the two and Richard being my Director I know, yesterday I was setting up the organisation today I'm filming on the set of Supernatural what more could a girl want.  
I don't come into it until about half way through the episode when Dean and Sam investigate a vamps nest near Alabama. When they arrive I had killed the complete the nest except the alpha vamp. I had blood all over my clothes and face as the Alpha vamp was just about to kill me when Dean and Sam burst through the door. Dean and Sam both see the vamp as Dean runs over to me and he yells at Sam to kill the vamp and Sam does as he calls for Dean's help. Then Dean looks around impressed at the dead vamp bodies lying everywhere. 

Richard runs through the scene until I was comfortable with everything that was going to happen in it. They used a stunt double for the scene where the vamp was hitting me so I wouldn't have an panic attack. But Richard decided to change the scene as we went through it. He said, "we will make it more realistic by the vamp hitting you and pulling you up on your sore leg and he's just about to rip your throat out when Dean and Sam brake through the door ok."

"Richard can we do a run through first."

"Sure we can to help you. Do you want Jensen here to help as well?"

"If you don't mine it's my very first scene and I'm really nervous."

"Sure it's all good, you will be amazing. Jensen come here I want you to run through this scene with Y/N so she's comfortable with it all."

"Ok Rich you want me to be the vamp then?"

"Actually that's a good idea Jensen."

"Alright everyone markers. Y/N on your mark there. That's good. So the vamp has just beaten you and your broken and hurting and in pain. Can you make pain noises?"

"Yep sure Rich."

"Ok Jensen you pull her up by her clothes and just about to bite her. Can you do that Jensen?"

"Baby you ok with this."

I gave him a smile and whispered, "let's do this."

"Ok Rich we are ready." 

"Scene 35 take one action."

I was moaning as loudly as I can in pain and I was holding my knee as Jensen pulls me up by my clothes and his just about to bite me. When Richard yelled cut. Jensen continued and kissed my neck instead and I giggled. 

"Y/N that was good but maybe add some words like I going to kill you, bloodsucking vamp or whenever you feel you want to say. I want you to owe this scene ok."

"Yep I can try it for you."

"Good, good. Ok places everyone."

"Jensen."

He smiled as he rested me back on the ground as Richard yells action again. 

I moaned but this time I said, "I'm going to kill you, you son of a bitch. You murder a lot of people and they didn't deserve to die. So I'm going to make sure I kill you slowly until you feel there pain." 

Jensen laughed and said, "I'm the one who has the advance here hunter. No one is coming for you. I might torture you slowly first and then drain you dry."

"Go ahead I'm not afraid to die you blood sucking freak."

"Cut," Richard called out. "That was amazing you did really good. Can you do it again for me exactly like that."

"Um, sure I guess I can."

"You were wonderful Baby, that was really good."

"Really you think so Jensen?"

"Yep your a natural at this."

"Ok you two love birds let's get this scene done."

"Ok Rich I can do this."

"You have to go to make up first and get the bruised and bloody face put on."

"Oh yeah ok I do that now."

"Jensen and Jared let's go through your scene when you rescue Y/N."

Jared said, "She was amazing Jensen she's going to be loved by the fandom."

"I hope so as we know how the fandom feels about love interests on the show."

"They will see what we see and they we love her like we do."

"Yeah and I think Richard is her biggest fan look at him."

He was watching the scene and smiling to himself. Jared looked and he laughed and said, "I guess your right I've never seen him like this he's really invested in showing how good she is."

"He is and he's really good with her but I don't want her hurt when this comes crashing down."

"Hey Jensen it might not she might be on the show for a long time and become a regular that's the plan anyway wasn't it?"

"It was but if the fandom doesn't like her well you know what happens then."

"Yep but they will love her Jay."

"Yeah I guess I'm wondering over nothing really."

"It's ok to worry and care Jensen you do love her and want her to be happy."

He smiles the brightest smile and said, "Yes I do love her more each day and it grows stronger. She absolutely amazing."

"I've seen the look you know on your face and not to mention the love she gives you each time you look at each other."

"I'm going to ask her to marry me soon Jared I want her in my life forever."

"I know but it's only been just over a month Jensen you don't think it's to soon?"

"No we waited to long but we will have a long engagement so she can adjust to the idea."

"Sounds good buddy."

"Jared, Jensen places," Richard calls out. "Action!"

They did there scene as I return from makeup. I was amazed with how well they do the makeup my face looked swollen and bloody. For a minute it brought back quite a few memories of being hit but I reminder myself it's not really and I was alright. Jensen and Jared are waiting for me to do my scene. 

Jensen sees my face all bruised and battered as he eyes soften and just looks at me. He comes over and said, "You alright Baby I know this would be hard for you to see yourself like this?"

"I have had a few memories Jensen but I reminded myself you were here and they aren't really."

"Your strength amazes me Baby. You got this and you owe this scene and make this scene the best scene on Supernatural."

"I will try Jay for you and I don't want to let Richard down either."

"Ok, everyone places. Y/N you alright with the makeup?"

"Yes fine thanks Richard." Jensen gives me a quick kiss on my forehead for luck and then we did the scene. Richard was astounded as I did the scene on the first take. 

We finished my first ever scene on Supernatural as Richard yells that's a wrap for today everyone. Let's go get some drinks I think Y/N deserves a round of applause from everyone, the amazing job she did today. 

Everyone clapped as I snuggled into Jensen and was a little embarrassed but they all can over and congratulated me. Jared hugged me and said, "You were amazing and I know you will love being on the show with us."

"Thanks Jared that means a lot."

"Minion you have made your Overlord proud and you were great out there."

"Thanks Overloard I'm glad you liked it."

Jensen turns me and looks into my eyes and smiles and he bends down and kisses me softly on the lips. He said, "You were the best actor on set today Baby your were incredible. Your given me a gift today by being here in my world with me. I feel so much closer to you and hope we continue to grow together more."

"I do to Jay I never knew how hard it was to learn lines and do scenes I will never underestimate your work again. But I did enjoy it and Richard is a wonderful Director as well."

"Yeah he is good and he puts us all at ease. But you are going to have different Director's with different ideas in the scenes and you will have to do what they want you to. They are all good Directors though. I might Director and episode in the next season and we can work together and you can see how I Director?"

"I would love that Jay."

"Ok, let's go get you cleaned up they are waiting for us."

I giggled as we head to make up to get my face cleaned off and then we went and changed as I'm for now sharing Jensen's trailer with him. 

We met up with everyone at the bar and there were two drinks waiting for us as we entered the bar. Jensen was beaming with happiness showing everyone he was proud of me. We sat with Jared, Misha and Gen was there Jared must have called her to join us. She came over and hugged me and whispered, "Heard you did good today on set."

"Yeah Richard help make me feel comfortable and Jensen helped with the scenes as well. I think Richard was pleased with it all. He even let me ad-lip the scene." 

"Yeah he is good like that."

"It was good and for the first time I felt free and in control of something other than my life with Jensen. It's nice to feel that."

"It would have been and I'm glad you did well."

"It was. How are the kids doing Gen, we haven't spoken for a few weeks with everything going on?"

"They are good Shep misses you and keeps asking when he is going to see you again."

"Oh, bless his heart maybe we could do a BBQ on the weekend sometime?"

"Yeah don't you all have a convention coming up on the weekend?"

"I don't know I will have to ask Jensen?" I turn to Jensen who's talking with Richard and I said, "excuse me Jensen can I ask you something?"

He excused himself from Richard and said, "Sure Baby what's up?"

"Do we have a convention this weekend?"

"Um, yes I think we do here in Vancouver."

Jared heard and said, "Yes we do and we are all expected to be there."

"Ok," as I looked at Gen and said, "Maybe Shep could come and spent some time with me while we are at the convention. You can come too Gen it would be nice to catch up on everything?"

"Sure I would love too as long as I'm not pulled on stage again," as she looks at her husband's shocked faced and then he grins. 

I had to laugh as you could see she loved spending time on stage with Jared and I guess I will be doing it with Jensen soon when everyone finds out about me starring in the show. 

Jared said, "Me I would never pull you on stage Babe."

"Oh no you wouldn't would you how about the convention three months ago?"

"Oh yeah ok I promise I won't pull you on stage unless you want too."

"You too are so adorable together and I'm glad we are friends."

"Baby you know you will have to start doing conventions soon too?"

"Yeah I know as long as your there with me I will be fine."

"Will the first convention we will all be together as I will make sure your not alone."

"Thanks Jay. This is going to be exciting and different I know. What if they don't like me and I get kicked off the show?"

"Hey Baby everyone will love you like we do."

"Yeah but you all know me and they don't. Plus women don't fare to well on this show they get killed off quickly."

"True but you will be different as I will fight for you to stay as will Jared and Misha."

"I know and I love you but if it puts the show at risk I will leave."

"Let's see what happens before we worry about you leaving?"

"Ok."

"This is a celebration in your first complete scene was was amazing by the way."

"You think so I thought it wasn't that good."

"If it wasn't we would still be shooting trust me Richard is very good at his job."

"Who's good at their job?" Richard asks.

"You we were talking about you."

"Oh, alright. You were amazing and I love watching you on camera. You bring the best out in me and I just want the world to see how truly amazing you are. If I could direct all your episodes I will but I only have this one shot."

"I, um not sure what to say Rich. Thank you for believing in me."

"Hey what's their not too. Look at what you have achieved and now everyone will see it." He gives me a hug and kiss on the cheek as a tear slips down my face. 

"Thank you Richard," I whisper in his ear. 

"You're welcome Y/N." 

Jensen moved closer to me and gave me a hug when Richard moved off. I looked at him as he wiped the tears from my face and just smiled and moved his thumb over my cheek. It was very intimate as we just looked at each other like we were the only two people there. He moves off the seat and pulls me with him as he moves us towards the dance floor. He doesn't say a word just lifts me so my feet are on his as he dances me around the floor as our bodies are almost one together. Jared and Gen are watching and Jared is holding Gen as his arms are wrapped around her shoulders. 

"Jared look at them. They are so in love with each other."

"I know he was telling me his going to ask her to marry him soon."

"Yeah I guessed that. How couldn't he just look they haven't taken there eyes off each other."

"It's good to see them happy Gen. They were meant for each other."

"Yes they are. Can we dance too Jared."

"Sure come on," as he grabs her hand and lends her next to us. We look at them briefly before returning our gaze at each other. I'm smiling as Jensen whirls me around the floor. The back ground noise fades away as we only see and hear each other's heartbeats and our breaths on each other's face. We didn't even hear the song finished when Jared startled us back into the room. He taps Jensen on the shoulder asking for a dance with me while Gen goes to Jensen. 

Jared lifts me like Jensen did but we were so close together, Gen also was at a distance with Jensen but still close enough to dance. Gen said, "So Jay, Jared was saying your going to ask Y/N to marry you soon?"

Shocked look on his face by being put on the spot but it turns into the biggest grin. "Yes I am maybe when we go back to Australia."

"You are both good together Jensen. I see how much you love each other."

"It's getting stronger. It's weird as I've never felt anything like this before. It's natural and beautiful us together."

"It is Jensen it is," with a smile. "I'm glad you found her Jensen you belong together."

Jared was dancing me around the room as he said, "You look amazing dancing with Jensen Princess."

"Thanks Jared it felt nice to be able to."

"You love him very much don't you?"

"He's my soul mate Jared. He's the air I breath, he's the love of my life."

Jared laughed at me being corny but he knew what I was trying to say. It was that I love Jensen Ackles and he was my world and my life. 

The song continued for a little while longer and then Jensen came over and helped me back over to my seat. He looks around and sees all his friends having a good time and I'm smiling and enjoying myself. Misha is telling us stories of how they used to prank him on set and everyone is laughing loudly. It's nice just sitting here being apart of something amazing and wonderful with my partner and our friends sitting here with us. 

The would be one of the best day of my life and I finally feel apart of a family. Yes these wonderful people are my family now and I feel safe with them as I know I will never be hurt or hit again ever. This is what I always wanted in my life and now that I have it. I'm a little scare something will happen to destroy my happiness. Nope nothing will as I won't let it I will hold on to my new family with both hands and my heart. I am due for some happiness and love and I'm not giving it up without a fight. Jensen comes around me and holds me in his arms as I rest my head on his chest and he kisses my head. Yep I am loved and he has shown how much by letting me be apart of his life and his friends lives. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kind words and comments. Thank you for all your kudos and I very much appreciate you all staying with me during my ill health. It means a lot that you all supported me through this time. 
> 
> Next chapter will be up soon I might continue with the set or do a convention. Let me know which one you would like to see me write?


	36. Insecurities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader has a nightmare will Jensen be able to bring her back or will she be stuck in there forever?  
> The convention in Vancouver does it go well or does it not? Do the fandom find out about the Reader being on the show? Does Jensen get asked some personal questions regarding the Reader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader has a nightmare and they do an convention.
> 
> Sorry I have taken so long to post this chapter. Life has tend to get in the way but I'm all healed from my operation and getting stronger everyday. Thank you all for your kind wishes when I went in for my operation it was very much appreciated and needed at the time.
> 
> Warnings: very coarse language, mention of child abuse, Reader insecured, Reader has a nightmare, Jensen comforts her, PTSD memories of her father hitting her and putting her down, Jensen and Jared comforts her. Reader thinks she's not beautiful. 
> 
> I do apologise if I left any warnings off. Please this chapter does contain mentions of child abuse she please do not read if it will cause you any harm. You health is more important than my story. So please be careful. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Comment welcomed and encouraged. Thank you for reading my story.

So my first day on set went really well and I'm happy that everyone was happy. It was interesting and it was overwhelming but Richard eased my mind by taking it slow. He really is a wonderful Director. Bob and Richard decided it was better for me to not film today as they didn't want to overwhelm me all in one go. They wanted me to concentrate on the coming convention in Vancouver. 

We all were also swore to not say anything about me being on the show just yet. Which for me was fine and as all this is still like a dream. Yes it's a good day but I'm still not ready for the attention I will be getting soon. I like being in the back ground as Jensen, Jared and Misha are the stars of the show. They will always be the stars and I will eventually be killed off like most of the female talent. But for now I will do my best and enjoy the experience.

It was a few days later as Jensen, Jared and Misha were still filmed their scenes and I was still officially their PA's. I don't have another shoot until after the convention was over with which was tomorrow. 

Jensen was holding me in our bed as he whispers in my ear and giving it a brief kiss. I giggle as it tickles with his scruff but I adore theses moments with him.

"Hey Baby, what you thinking about?"

"The other day on set when everyone was pleased with my performance."

"You were amazing Y/N. Richard was right when he saw something special in you. You handle doing the scene like a pro. I also enjoyed helping you with it. You did good Baby."

"Yeah, I guess but what if the fandom doesn't like me. You know how they are with female love interests on the show."

"I know but they will see what we all do and love you too."

"I hope so Jay. But if it doesn't work out I have the Organisation I can spend my time with as well."

"How is it all going with Kyle?"

"Good, he is very good at his job. He rang me and updated me on what he has been doing. He has purchased the property we looked at with Misha and is in the process of having it renovated for the kids. All the money you all gave is helping with it all. Plus we should have the t-shirts and jumpers printed off before the convention as well so we can sell them and make some more money."

"Wow he has been busy with helping you with all this."

"He has been a great help Jay and I'm glad he decided to join the Organisation."

"Maybe we could wear and sign the t-shirts and then auction them off. We could also just sign some as well."

"That's a really good idea if Jared and Misha agree as well."

"They will do anything for you Baby and signing and wearing some t-shirts won't bother them. We can donate all money made on them to the Organisation."

"That will be great Jay as we know how much the fandom loves doing things for charities."

"Yeah they are a great group to have for our show. It's weird our relationship with them, it's like they're an extended family and it's nice to know they are there for us too."

"I guess they will become my family too and I will see what you all see."

"Yes you will."

He rolled us so his arm was resting on my thigh and my hand was entwined with his. I pull his hand up to my chest as I felt his breath on my neck. Jay kissed my neck and whispered, "I love you." 

I smiled as I never get sick of hearing him tell me he loves me. I replied, "I know."

"I know. Did you just Han Solo me?" he said as he moved his hands to my waist to tickle me. "You'll be begging for mercy in a minute."

"Jay please don't I can't," as he tickled me. My legs and arms flailed out everywhere as he continued his torture of my body. I was laughing that hard I was having trouble getting air into my lungs. "Stop can't breath Jay pleasssssee."

He took mercy on me and stopped tickling me. He looked down into my flushed face from laughing and kisses me softly on the lips. He pulled back as he just looks at me. 

"What is it Jensen?"

"Your beautiful Y/N."

I blushed as I still have some trouble hearing him tell me I'm beautiful. "Even more now with the blush Baby."

"Jensen I'm not," he cut me off. "Don't you dare say your not beautiful because you are?" 

"Sometimes I don't feel beautiful Jensen," as I turned away from him. 

"Look at me," as he turned me to see his eyes. "You will always be beautiful to me, Jared and Misha you hear me."

"Yes, Jensen I hear you and your Dean is showing again."

"I don't care because he loves you too. You have a kind heart and a tender soul. You know I want to marry you right? You will become Mrs Ackles if you want my name?"

"Yes I know you do Jensen. Why wouldn't I take your name?"

"Will I can think of one reason?"

"What Jay?"

"You are a hit on the show and you want to keep your last name."

"It wouldn't matter to me I will still take the man I love last name."

"Really?"

"Of course why wouldn't I become Mrs Ackles. Has a nice ring to it don't you think Jay."

He laughed and said, "Of course it does Y/N Ackles. I like the sound of that."

"So do I Mr Ackles, so do I."

"Jay, I love you."

"I know," I laugh as he answered what I had answered earlier.   

"Night Jay."

"Night Baby."

 

I fell asleep in his arms which didn't stop the nightmares this night unfortunately. It started off with me on set and I'm doing the scene where Jensen's character picks me up and takes me to the hospital. Jensen picks me up but when I look at him it's my father laughing in my face. He drops me on the ground and said, "you think your a movie star ha your nothing, nobody will like you. Your good for nothing and I'm going to fix it now. I had changed from being an adult to the little girl who he beat. He hit me as I tried to shrink anyway from the beating. I gripped Jensen's hand tight and he heard me whimpering in my sleep. He woke and rolled me so he was looking at me. I cried out, "please don't hit me Daddy." Jensen then knew I was having an nightmare he tried to wake me. 

"Y/N wake up it's ok, your safe with me. He can't hurt you."

"Please I'm in pain don't hit me again," I cried out. 

He shook me but he knew when I was in a nightmare that didn't work. He did the next best thing he kissed me until I kissed him back. I had tears in my eyes as he continued the kiss when he felt my lips moving on his. He pulled back as a tear fell down my face. 

"Y/N, you alright?"

"No, Jensen hold me."

"Want to talk about it?"

"In a minute just hold me first."

"Hey your shaking," as he pulled me closer to him. 

"I'm sorry I woke you Jay."

"Don't worry about it. You want to tell what happened."

I found it hard to swallow as my throat was dry but managed to say, "we were doing the scene where you pick me up and take me to the hospital. But then you changed in my father. He laughed and said, I was a nobody, nothing and nobody will like me." Then he hit me over and over again. Fuck I was an adult Jay but he made me feel like a child again. It scares me he still has control over me. Like he is here and he can still hurt me physically and mentally. What if I never get rid of him Jay and he ruins my life. Fuck it will destroy me Jensen," as a tear slips down my face. 

He kisses me lightly on the lips and wipes the tears away. He said, "You will get stronger and beat him. It's just your insecurity about how the fandom will react to you and if they will like you character. He is not here, he's fucking dead and buried he has no control over you. You have come so far Baby and look what you have done since leaving Australia. You will always have me, Jared and Misha even if they don't like your character. You are loved and wanted and you will never be hit or abused by anyone again." 

"I'm just a little unsure Jay. I know he's dead but he always seems to spoil anything good that comes into my life. I don't know if I can fight him and win Jensen. I'm scared of what might happen to me if I try."

"He's not real, he's dead. You have it fight him in your mind and win there. You have to prove to yourself you are stronger than he is. Once you do this he will not have control over you anymore." 

"I think I should see Daniela and get her help with this Jay."

"It's a good idea Baby. She will be able to help you better than I can. Let me help you now by keeping the monster away."

I shook my head as he gently strokes my hair and sings simple man to me. It's soothe my aching heart as he rolls me into his body as he likes being the big spoon. I did feel safe in Jensen's arms he would always make sure I'm protected. 

We settled back into sleep where Jensen held me tight all night. I didn't have anymore nightmares but Jensen saw the bags under my eyes so he left me there to sleep as long as I could before we had to go to work. He got up to make us breakfast he had a quick shower and dressed for the day. He knew we had the convention today which means a long day for the both of us. He enjoyed the convention's as he liked interacting with the fan base. It was amazing part of his job and he gets to meet them as well. 

He gently shook me awake as he whispered in my ear. "Baby you need to get up and ready for work."

"5 more minutes Jay please."

He laughed as he always did this also. "Ok but you need to be ready before Clif, Jared and Misha get here." 

"I'll be ready on time Jay."

He kisses my head before walking out the door. I was managing in the shower on my own now as my leg was able to take my weight standing. We knew my knee was healing and getting stronger everyday. I still used the crutches until I see Paul in Australia and he tells me otherwise. But I could walk on it which was a good sign. I moaned as I get up and get ready for work. 

I head downstairs as the door bell rang. Jensen shouted Y/N, Clif, Jared and Misha are here."

I was at the bottom of the stairs when I said, "I know Jensen," as he turns to see me hobbling towards him. He smiles this brilliant smile it makes my insides go all gooey as I smile back. 

Jared, Misha and Clif notice the bags under my eyes but they don't say anything. Jensen comes over and hugs me to him.

Jared said, "Hey Princess ready for the convention today." 

"Yeah I'm excited about the t-shirt and jumpers we will be selling. I hope people will like them Jared."

He laughed and said, "Of course they will. Do we have a plan on what we are doing with them?"

Jensen said, "We discussed this last night. Y/N was hoping we could auction some off with our signatures on them. Hoping they will sell big and maybe we could wear them as well. It always gets the fandom in a frenzy."

"We could also put things on them like we did before and they sold for a good price," Misha said. 

Clif said, "Baby girl are you going on stage to tell people about S.P.A.C.E?"

"God no, Jensen, Jared and Misha could you do it for me please."

Jensen knew about the nightmare but Jared and Misha didn't. Jensen said, "sure Baby we can tell people about it. We did decide to be the face of the Organisation. When you feel comfortable you can take over," he looks at Jared and years of reading each other's looks told him something else was also going on. 

"Sure we can do that for you Princess."

"Thank you all. I love you all," as I move to hug them all each. 

"We love you too," Misha said.

Clif said, "We better go or we will be late and Bob will be pissed at us."

We all laugh because Clif always made sure we were on time. We headed to the convention hall as Jared kept watching us. Jensen had hold of me like he always does but I was wrapped in his arms. Misha wa stroking my legs as he also saw how nervous I was. 

"Everything will be fine Princess," Jared said.

I gave him a tight smile as he looks at Jensen for some clue to what was going on. Jensen shook his head as Jared understood he would tell him later in their dressing room. 

We arrived a short time later as the place was filled with Supernatural fans. I saw a lot of fans here they were everywhere. They were screaming when we pulled up as Jensen, Jared and Misha got out and went to talk briefly to the fans. I am helped out by Clif as we stand back. Jensen has a few photos done and comes back to me as we walk into the convention. Jared and Misha were hurried along by Clif as they followed behind us. Jensen has his arm around my middle as he walks in time with my crutches. He was always very protective of me when we are at an convention. The fans are screaming for him to take a photo but he just waves and said, "Hi." 

Jared and Misha do the same as we head to the dressing rooms. We find Bob waiting for us all. He said, "Finally your all here."

"Bob what's wrong?"

"Nothing it's good your all here. Remember that you will not be mention starting on the show just yet. So Jared keep it a secret will you. 

We looked at Jareds shocked face as we all laughed. "So what the program for today Bob?"

"Looks like Jensen you and Misha are doing a cockles panel together and Jared your with Jensen later for an gold panel. Then tomorrow Jared and Misha do a panel together. Jensen you'll be on your own doing one. But if you want I can get maybe Jared and Misha both put there with you. I know you don't like doing them on your own."

I never realised how shy Jensen really is when he's on stage as he looks Bob in the face and said, "That would be good Bob. Maybe another gold panel with Jared."

"What about autographs and photo ops Bob?" 

"They will be later in the day and then they have Saturday Night Special."

"Jensen are you singing tonight?" I asked.

"Yes I think I am. Will have to do sound check with the band soon."

"Ok, so Jared your with us and Jensen and Misha let's go and find your panel."

"Hang on I need a coffee first before I go on stage," Jensen said. 

Misha grabbed a couple of waters as well. Jared came with Clif and myself as we headed to side of the stage. I looked out at all the people waiting for them. I saw the florescent bin with the S.P.A.C.E logo on them. People dropped money in them as they walked by. I was happy to see the fandom supporting the Organisation. 

Richard and Rob were introducing Jensen and Misha as they ran out on stage. Jensen sat down next to Misha's seat as Misha looks around and said, "Good morning Vancouver."

Everyone screams and cheered as Jensen said, "What a beautiful audience. How are you all here in Vancouver?"

Everyone yells out good. Jensen said, "Who's a first time to a convention?" 

Several people put up there hands and he said, "Welcome, as you know this is a cockles panel with Misha here. So please be respectful to us and the questions asked."

Misha said, "Before we start I would like to point out the stands by the door." Everyone turned to look at them.

"They are there to raise money for a very special charity. It's to help house, feed and cloth abused kids so please dig deep and give what you can to help this really good cause," Jensen said.

"Later when Jared and Jensen has their gold panel we with be auctioning off some t-shirts with our autographs on it," Misha said. 

Just then Jared walks out with a florescent green shirt on as the audience screams and Rob introduces Mr Padalecki everyone. Jared walks over to them as he stands there with some shirts for them as well. Kyle had come and given them to him. I also had one as did Clif. We put ours on over our clothes as it was the big size. 

Kyle said, "Hey Y/N, I brought some shirts for you to sell for the Organisation their is a table out in the hall and it's manned by volunteers."

"Thanks Kyle I had thought to get the shirts but didn't have time."

"It's ok as long as they sell well and I think the three of them have anything to do with it they will."

I laughed as Misha was trying to put his over his head but it was all tangled thanks to Jared. He really is a mischievous guy but the fans were laughing. Jared said, "Hey Misha need some help with that."

"That would be great Jared I seemed to be suck."

Jensen was watching trying not to laugh at them. He turns to look at me and I give him a warm smile. Jared somehow got Misha more tangled as he looks at everyone with a wicked grin on his face. 

Jensen goes over and in a second pulls the shirt off and saves Misha. He then puts the shirt in the right way and puts it over Misha head. Of course with a comment like, "Who taught you how to dress Misha?" 

Everyone laughed when Misha answered Jared did. Even Jensen couldn't hold back a laugh. So they all had their shirts on and was showing everyone when a person yelled out. "Auction them now?"

Jensen said, "What you want to do it now?"

The audience screams out a loud yes. 

Misha said, "Looks like we are doing it now."

Jensen said, "Jared you staying for the auction?"

"Wouldn't miss it buddy." 

Richard and Rob both walk back on stage as Rob said, "So tell us more about the charity guys."

Misha said, "Well I can help there as Random Acts is helping with support. This Organisation is very dear to each of us as a very close friend set this up." 

"She is a very strong courageous woman who has been through a lot in her life. She wanted to do something to help Abused kids so she went to Random Acts for funding and they thought it was a good idea so here we are," Jensen said. 

Jared said, "We are supporting this for her as it's dear to our hearts. These kids don't have anything when they are abused. So we are raising money to open a shelter to keep them safe. They will have protection, food, clothing and most of all counselling. So please help us support this."

Richard said, "Everyone if you want to donate money here's the phone number," as he reads out the number. I also believe in this organisation and the people who are running it. She has a very special gift and I'm glad she is a dear friend." He looks over to me and a tear slips out from he corner of my eye as I nodded my head and I smile. 

Rob said, "So who's first." 

Misha said, "I will go first," as Jared walks up behind him and puts on his shirt Always Keep Fighting with his very large signature and a love heart. Misha turns to show everyone what he has wrote as everyone cheers.

Rob and the band started playing music as Richard said, "Ok first bid for this awesome shirt."

Jensen and Jared were watching as Jared said, "We will throw in a date with Jensen."

Jensen laughed as everyone started bidding. He said, "Sorry I'm taken." 

The bidding went outrageous it went up to $3,000 before Rob and Richard called it. 

Misha said, "I shall wear this for the rest of the panel. We will give it to you after it." 

Then Jensen wrote on Jared shirt, "Son of a bitch" and signed it. Jared turned around and everyone laughed as they started the bidding. Jensen said, "So how much shall we start off at?"

Jared's shirt sold for nearly $ 4,500 when it was called. So he smiles at the woman who told him to keep it on until after the panel as well. 

So Misha was left as he wrote on Jensen's shirt. He thought about what to write as Jensen was getting impatient with him. He end up writing "I am Clarence," with little angel wings. He also signed his name as Jensen turns around. The fans all cheered as he said, "Ok, first bid."

The bidding went for a few minutes as his shirt sold for $4,000 as he laughs with embarrassment. "Thank you all for your support and we will be signing some T-shirts later which will be for sale as well. So please show your support. 

Jared was talking to Jensen in the background quietly. "Hey Jensen, what's going on with Y/N she looks tired."

"She had a bad nightmare last night about her father beating her. She thinks he always going to have control over her. I told her that he's dead and he won't as she gets stronger but she's worried he will destroy all her happiness. I also think she's a little worry how the fandom will react to her character on the show. 

"Even now his still ruining her life. She shouldn't worry Jensen she's did an amazing job with the scene they will love her like we do."

"I told her that but she's not so sure and she's feeling a little overwhelmed with it all."

"So how do we help her feel more secure and loved."

"I'm not sure yet but let me think on it. Just give her lots of hugs and kisses and tell her she's doing good with the Organisation it might help her."

"Maybe we can reassure her she's not alone and never will be."

"That would be good Jared." 

Misha looked at them talking as he raised an eyebrow in question and Jensen mouth tell you later. He shook his head as they all showed everyone their t-shirts and how much they have raised with the auction. 

"So we have raised $11,500 for these three t-shirts thank you everyone who brought and participated in the auction," Misha said. 

"We will be signing t-shirts after this panel for a short time," Jensen said. 

Jared said, "I will be signing them as soon as I come off stage so if you would like me to sign your shirt please come. It's for a very special charity so please open your hearts and help." 

Richard came out and said, "Jared Padalecki everyone," he left to cheers and whistles. I was sitting next to the stage as Jensen looks at me with tears flowing down my face. Jared comes off and hugs me and said, "hey Princess I'm here." He holds me for the longest time until I had finished crying. He pulls back and wipes my tears as Jensen is looking at us. He is itching to come off stage and hold me himself but Jared smiled at him to let him know I was ok. 

"Jared," I said through my tears, "they really are going to help support the Organisation?"

"Sure they will Princess the fandom is a good one and they support all our charity work. Plus when your finally ready to tell them your story they will understand why it means a lot to us."

"Jared can you hold me a little longer."

"Sure Princess," as he wraps me in his tight embrace. I feel safe when he holds me like Jensen. Misha was looking at us and went over to ask Jensen what was happening. 

"Jensen is Y/N alright?"

"Yeah I think this is all overwhelming for her." 

"She doesn't look good today she looks tired."

"Yeah she is, she had a nightmare last night." 

"Ok, I will talk to her when we come off stage."

The audience noticed they were whispering and someone asked what they were talking about?

Misha said, "We were talking about how wonderful you all are and we are happy that we get to see how great you all are."

There were cheers and whistles as Jensen looks at me and Jared had left to go do the autographs but I had calmed down and was sitting with Clif's hand on my shoulder I had hold of it. I smiled to let Jensen know I was alright. He smiled back and missed the question asked of him.

Misha said, "Sorry Jensen is a little distracted today with everything that's happening."

"Um, yeah I'm sorry. What was your question again?" 

"I was wondering how is your girlfriend?" 

"Oh yes ok. She is doing great and her leg is healing well. Thank you for asking."

"Your welcome."

Misha said, "next question?"

"Misha what's in stored for Castiel this season?"

"Will I can't go into to much detail but Castiel will be going through a lot again this season."

"Yeah and I think he might get a few surprises too. As does Dean also," Jensen said.

Richard and Rob came out, "Last question everyone."

Rob said, "Ok, what's your question?"

"Well this is for Jensen. The fundraising today for S.P.A.C.E has it something to do with your girlfriend?"

Jensen wasn't sure how to answer the question so Misha stepped in. 

"It's actually a part of Random Acts and it's also being set up up with the hope to help abused children."

Richard said, "Thank Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins," the audience screamed as they walked off stage. 

Jensen said, "Thanks Misha."

"No worries Buddy. I know Y/N is not ready for all the attention it would bring her just yet."

"Yes your right."

He sees me and rushes to me and pulls me into a hug. "Are you ok Baby?"

"Yes just a little overwhelmed with the fandom supporting the Organisation and giving all that money."

"They are a good group of people our fandom and they do support our charitable work we do."

"Yes I see that Jay. Can you just hold me for a minute."

"Sure Y/N I will hold you as long as you want me to."

Another tear slipped passed my eyes as I snuggled further into Jensen's chest when he decided to walk me to the his dressing room where we would have more privacy. Clif carried the crutches while Jensen had hold of my waist as I hobbled along. We reach his dressing room as Clif stood outside the door when we closed it behind us. He grabbed me and lifted me and laid me on the bed which looked very welcoming and I rested my head as he stroked my hair. 

"You rest Baby. I need to go sign some autographs and do another panel with Jared. You will be safe here as Clif will stay with you and you look exhausted. I will be back as soon as I can."

"Jensen can you stay just until I'm asleep please," as I grabbed his arm and pulled him down next to me. 

"Ok, until your asleep," he kissed my lips and pulled me into his body. I felt the warmth as it surrounded me and I knew I was safe in his arms. He hummed a song as I drifted off to sleep. He felt me relax against him as he moved me gently. He got up and kissed my forehead and whispered, "I love you," then he walked out the door. He gave Clif instructions to stay outside the door and if I woke up from a nightmare he was to send someone to find him. 

Clif nodded his head as Jensen walks off towards the table where Jared and Misha were doing autographs. I was sound asleep as my mind played over what has happened the last few hours. I smiled as people bidded on the t-shirts but I knew it would turn into a nightmare. 

I was waiting for him to destroy my happiness and make me feel like a child he always does when he comes in my dreams. He was my monster I have to fight and win against otherwise I'm not going to have anything good in my life. He will eventually destroy what I have with Jensen and then Jared and Misha. Then I will be alone again and back to being suicidal and I don't want to be that way. I have to end this with him and next time he comes I'm going to finish this. I'm going to stand up to him and win for me and for Jensen. I love Jensen and I'm not going to let him destroy my happiness not again. I deserve to be happy and have a good life. I deserve to be loved by people who care and love me back. I going to fight for my happiness and most of all Jensen. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your wonderful comments and kudos very much appreciated. 
> 
> Next chapter I think I might continue with the convention and Jensen has a surprise for the reader?


	37. Team Free Will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen is worried about the Reader and the nightmares she is having. He wants to help her but isn't sure how? Jensen, Jared and Misha work on helping the Reader with her nightmares. Can they help her or is it too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader is having nightmares and Jensen, Jared, Misha and Clif try to help her will they succeed or make it worse? 
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry for not updating sooner had a lot going on here and went on a much needed holiday. I will try to update regularly see how I go. 
> 
> Warnings: Reader has bad nightmares, Jared and Misha hold her down for her safety, Reader gets bruised during their holding of her wrists, coarse language, lots of love and support, oh yeah Jensen sings a lot, Reader thinks about past suicides and how Dean saved her. Lots of love and comfort. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own.
> 
> All comments are welcomed and encouraged.

Jensen had gone and sat down next to Jared and Misha when they both looked at him with worry.

Jared said, "Hey buddy, how's Y/N doing?"

"She's asleep at the moment and I'm worried about her."

"How so Jensen?" Jared asked. 

"She having theses.....," he stopped when he realised the fans could over hear them. "I will tell you later Jared." 

Jared nodded his head as he knew Jensen will tell them both what was happening with me. They signed autographs until Jensen and Jared were called to do their panel. Misha stayed a bit longer to sign the remaining autographs. 

Jensen felt flat as he walked out on stage and Jared notice Jensen dragging his feet so he took control of the panel. Jensen only answered questions that were directed at him only. Jared being the bubbly person that he is answered almost all the questions. Jensen's mind was elsewhere as the fans noticed something was wrong with Jensen. 

"Jensen are you alright?" One fan asked.

Jensen smiled a half smiled and said, "I'm fine," when Jared was about to answer for him. 

The panel was finally over as Jensen hurries off stage to his dressing room. I was still alseep as he walks in and sees that I'm comfortable as he lies down next to me. I stir as he gently strokes my hair and I fall back asleep. He kisses my neck as he to falls asleep. Jared and Misha come looking for him and sees his sound asleep so they leave us there. 

Jared whispered to Misha, "let's go before we wake them."

Misha said in a whisper, "what's going on with them. He's being out of it most of the day?"

"Tell you outside," they both leave and gives Clif instructions not to wake us up. 

Jared said, "Jensen is worried about Y/N she's been having nightmares which are really serious."

"What kind of nightmares Jared?" Misha asked. 

"Not sure, Jensen said, "something about bad nightmare's about her father beating her. She thinks he always going to have control over her. He told her that he's dead and he won't as she gets stronger but she's worried he will destroy all her happiness. Jensen also thinks she's a little worry about how the fandom will react to her character on the show."

"So he thinks it's all brought on by her part on the show?" Misha said.

"He's not sure but yes he thinks her anxiety has brought some of this on and he fear of her father also I think hasn't helped either."

"So what do we do Jared to help them both?"

"I don't know Misha," he shakes his head as he said again; "I don't know. For now we let them sleep."

Misha nodded and then they heard a ear piercing scream rip through the dressing room area. Luckily no one else would have heard it except them and Clif. They run to Jensen's dressing room where they burst through the door and find Jensen struggling to wake me up and he is holding my arms down so I wouldn't hurt myself. Jared and Misha look at Jensen as he's saying soothing words that aren't working. Clif also comes into the room as he doesn't know what to do so he walks over and bends down and said, "Y/N, baby girl you are safe no one is here that will hurt you. Please wake up and see the people who love you." A single tear slips out of his eye as I thrash around. 

Jared had come over to help hold me down as does Misha. Jensen is still lying next to me as he whispers in my ear. "You're safe Baby we are all here. I love you Y/N." He lends over and kisses me on he lips but nothing happens I continue to thrash around. 

He looks at Jared with worry as tears form in his eyes. Jared said, "Maybe we should take her to Daniela and she could help?"

"No time Jared she needs help now?"

"Maybe ring her Jensen," Misha said. 

"Ok," as he gets up off the bed and calls Daniela he puts it on loud speaker she Jared, Misha and Clif can hear too. 

"Hello Daniela here."

"Daniela it's Jensen, Jensen Ackles. We need your help?" I let out a scream as Daniela questions what's going on.

"What's going on. Is that Y/N screaming?"

"Yes it is, she's been having these nightmares about her father and how he has control over her."

"When did they start Jensen?"

"About a week ago I guess. They seem to be getting stronger and more violent. She hasn't come out of this one yet and I even kissed her with no response."

"I see. What is the one thing you have that's special with Y/N, the thing she loves most about you Jensen?"

"I don't know Daniela it's hard for me to think?"

Jared said, "She loves your singing Jensen it calms her."

"Sing to her Jensen now before it's to late and she does some real damage to herself physically."

He choked back the tears as he start to say the words to Simple Man. Jared looked at him and said, "Dude you have to sing them."

He took a deep breath as he wiped his eyes and started singing the words:

 **_Mama told me when I was young_ **  
**_"Come sit beside me, my only son_ **  
**_And listen closely to what I say_ **  
**_And if you do this it'll help you some sunny day"_ **

**_"Oh, take your time, don't live too fast_ **  
**_Troubles will come and they will pass_ **  
**_You'll find a woman and you'll find love_ **  
**_And don't forget, son, there is someone up above"_ **

I had stopped struggling as Jensen continued the song. Jared and Misha let go of my arms as Daniela said to Jared, "What's happening?"

Jared whispers, "she has stopped struggling and has settled back to sleep."

"Good now give her some time then wake her up ok," Daniela said. 

Jensen continues the song:

 **And be a simple kind of man,** as he fights to keep his voice steady. 

**_Oh, be something you love and understand  
_** Baby be a simple kind of man  
Oh, won't you do this for me, son, if you can" 

**"Forget your lust for the rich man's gold  
** All that you need is in your soul  
And you can do this, oh baby, if you try  
All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied" 

**"And be a simple kind of man  
** Oh, be something you love and understand  
Baby be a simple kind of man  
Oh, won't you do this for me, son, if you can" 

I had completely relaxed now as I stir from my sleep and I open my eyes to see Jensen's glistening eyes while Jared, Misha and Clif were standing nearby. I just look and see worry in them as he continues the song. He sits down next to me and puts his finger on my lips as he worry eyes look into mine. 

**_Oh yes, I will_  
** "Boy, don't you worry, you'll find yourself  
Follow your heart and nothing else  
And you can do this, oh baby, if you try  
All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied" 

**"And be a simple kind of man  
** Oh, be something you love and understand  
Baby be a simple kind of man  
Oh, won't you do this for me, son, if you can" 

**Baby, be a simple, really simple man  
** Oh, be something you love and understand  
Baby, be a simple, kind of simple man 

 He finishes the song and grabs hold of me and hugs me in his arms. He pulls back and kisses me on the lips and head and eyes as I'm wondering what's going on. I look at my wrists and see bruises and wonder how I got them. Jensen finally lets go and I ask, "What the hell happened and how did I," Jensen cuts in and said, "You were having a nightmare and you were thrashing around so we had to hold you down so you wouldn't hurt yourself."

"What, What are you? It dawned on me what happened. "No I had another one and it was bad, wasn't it?"

"Yes we didn't know how to wake you so we rang Daniela and she told us."

Jared said, "She's on the phone still she wants to talk to you Princess."

I take the phone as Daniela said, "Hi Y/N, how are you now?"

"I'm, um, fine Daniela. I'm tired and bruised but fine."

"So I need you to come see me tomorrow and we need to work on theses nightmares. Why didn't you call me sooner Y/N?"

"I thought I could handle them. I didn't know they would be this bad. Daniela I feel like he's always going to control my life. I'm not strong enough fight him."

"Yes you are Y/N, you just need some guidance and strength which you have."

"I don't think so Daniela he's going to win."

"We will discuss this tomorrow and I would like Jensen, Jared and Misha to be there too." 

"Ok I will ask them too. See you tomorrow. What time?"

"Say 9am you will be my first patient for the day."

"Ok, we will be there thanks Daniela."

"Bye see you tomorrow 9am."

"Bye Daniela."

I passed the phone back to Jared who gave it to Jensen as asked, "What did she say Princess?"

"She wants all of us to attend tomorrow. Jared and Misha can you come?"

"Shouldn't be a problem we will asked Bob when we see him."

"Thank you," as they both come over and hug me as does Clif. 

It was late afternoon I felt drained and put through a ringer so Jensen took me home for awhile to rest. I didn't sleep but just relaxed in a familiar place. He sat with me as he knew we had to go back to the convention for Saturday Night Live show. But he had asked Richard if he could go on later in the night before we left. Richard was ok with it all he could see how tired we both were. We sat there both drained emotionally when Jensen moved and cradled me in his arms.

He turned my head so our eyes met when he said, "You're my world Y/N. I'm going to help you with your nightmares."

"You are my too Jensen. I'm scared of what Daniela might say. That I'm cracking up under all the pressure and maybe I should pull back."

"Hey you're doing great job on set and with the Organisation. You are an amazing woman Y/N and I'm glad your in my life."

"I don't feel amazing Jay I feel exhausted and tired. I'm tired of fighting and trying to slay my demons. I thought once he died I would be free. I guess I'm never going to be free not entirely from him."

"You will and we will help as will Daniela she knows what's happening now and will know ways of fixing you."

"I hope so Jensen, I hope so."

"Hey look at me," I had my head down in defeat when he gentle lifts my head under my chin. I look into his gorgeous green eyes I so wanted to get lost in them and not have to face the nightmares but I also knew it wouldn't help me. "I love you and look at what you have overcome so far in your life." 

"I know but this is different it feels different more personal. Like he's trying to keep me like that scared little girl he used to beat. I know I'm not I'm an adult with a wonderful life but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by everything. I just wait for the other shoe to drop so to speak."

"I promise you here and now that everything will be ok." 

He kisses me slowly on the lips it wasn't a hurried I think it was more for comfort for the both of us. He knew there was going to be a fight ahead of us both to get rid of my father out of my nightmares. But he was the strong one, he was my rock and I hope this doesn't chip at him and break him like it is me. I need him to be him and have his support and love. I have to be the strong one too and show him I can do this and not let it break me completely. 

The phone rings and brings me out of my thoughts. Jensen answers it and said, "Hello Jensen here."

"Hey Dude you coming back soon as it's almost time for you to go on stage?"

"Yes Jared we will be right there."

"Ok see you when you get here."

"Yeah, yeah Jared bye."

He hangs up and gets up and helps me up. "What's going on Jay?"

"We have to go back to the convention Baby."

"Ok, but I thought," he cuts in, "me too but apparently Padalecki wants us back there so I can sing."

"I forgot you were singing guess we better get up and moving."

"It can wait a minute."

"Jensen," I look at him with a raised eyebrow. 

He slowly puts his fingers through my hair and stops at my neck as he bends as he slowly kisses me on the lips. It's a sweet kiss with lips touching and mouths opening. It was what I needed most was Jensen's love and comfort. He rubs his finger down my face as my hands when up around his neck as I kiss him and move my lips over his. He pulls back and smiles and said, "Boy you kiss me like that I won't want to leave."

I laugh as we put our shoes on and head down stairs. I still find my crutches a hindrance but I still need them for support on the broken knee. I was walking with the crutches on both legs now which wasn't so time consuming for us both. Jensen helped me into the car as we headed back to the convention. 

We arrive a short time later when Bob came over with a serious look on his face. He see us and said, "Y/N I heard you was well are you feeling better?"

"Um, what Bob?"

"Jared and Misha told me Jensen took you home because you weren't feeling well?"

"Oh, right yes Bob I'm feeling better but," then Jared came over and interrupted as he pulled me into a tight hug. 

He whispered in my ear, "You feeling better Princess?"

"Jared can't, I choked out, "breath."

"Ah, what, oh sorry Princess," as he put me down and I take a deep breath. 

Jensen knew how worried Jared, Misha and Clif were over me when Misha and Clif come over. 

I waited for them and told them all, "I was fine. Thank you for worrying but we all are seeing Daniela tomorrow and see we be able to help."

Bob said, "What this about all of you seeing Daniela tomorrow?"

"Oh, sorry Bob I forgot to ask. Daniela wants us," as I point to Jensen, Jared and Misha. "To see her tomorrow is that alright?"

"What this about Y/N are you ok?"

"Well no Bob I'm not." 

He looks at Jensen for conformation as he shakes his head. 

"What's wrong Y/N?"

"I'm, ah, um," Jensen could see I was having trouble answering so he did for me. "Y/N is having bad nightmares where she dreams of her father bearing her and telling her bad things about herself."

"I think he is always going to control my life Bob and I can't let him destroy what I have built. So we are going to see Daniela tomorrow so she can help me deal with it and I guess tell Jensen, Jared and Misha ways of waking me up safely."

"Wow I didn't know you were struggling with this why didn't you tell me sooner."

Clif cut in and said, "She thought she could handle it on her own," his eyes were downcast and his lips were in a frown. 

"I see alright you can have whatever time you need off tomorrow and I hope she can help you Y/N. You're family you could have come to me sooner and I would have helped too."

"I know Bob and thank you," as I kiss his cheek. 

Richard comes off stage and said, "Who died," we couldn't help but laugh as he broke the tense in the air. 

"No one Rich," he looked at us all laughing at him. 

He ignored our laughter and said, "Jensen ready to go on stage?"

"Yes Richard." He turned to me and gave me a kiss when he looked at Jared and the silent words passed between them again. Jared shook his head in response to the silent question Jensen asked him. 

Jared said, "Come on Princess there's a seat out front for you." 

"Ok where are we going Jared?" 

"Follow me," we all did including Misha and Clif. He lend us to some seats which were in front of the stage but away from the crowds of fans. 

He helped me sit as he sat next to me and Misha the other side of me. Richard introduced Jensen as he came running on the stage and looks at the audience he searches for me when Jared yells out ooh. 

"I can see you," he said in the mike as he looks me in the eyes and said, "this one is for my lady. I hope ya' all will like it. This is Baby."

The music starts as I recognise the song it's "Brother." 

**_Ramblers in the wilderness we can’t find what we need_  
** We get a little restless from the searching  
Get a little worn down in between  
Like a bull chasing the matador is the man left to his own schemes  
Everybody needs someone beside em’ shining like a lighthouse from the sea 

**_Baby, let me be your shelter_  
** Never leave you all alone  
I can be the one you call  
When you’re low 

**_Baby, let me be your fortress_  
** When the night winds are driving on  
Be the one to light the way  
Bring you home 

Jared and Misha both have hold of my hands as Jensen changed the words so the song fit us. I had tears flowing down my face but they were happy tears. He eyes never left mine as I can see a tear fall out of his left eye. He's voice cracked on a note but he continued to sing. 

**_Face down in the desert now there’s a cage locked around my heart_  
** I found a way to drop the keys where my failures were  
Now my hands can’t reach that far  
I ain’t made for a rivalry I could never take the world alone  
I know that in my weakness I am strong, but  
It’s your love that brings me home 

  ** _Baby, let me be your shelter_  
** Never leave you all alone  
I can be the one you call  
When you’re low

**Baby, let me be your fortress  
** When the night winds are driving on  
Be the one to light the way  
Bring you home 

Jensen wipes the tear from his eye as the audience as screaming as he is singing. I had rested my head on Jared's shoulder as his arm was around my waist as he looks at me. 

"Are you ok Princess?" He shouts over the music. 

"Yes I'm fine did you know he was going to sing this song this way," as I continued eye contact with Jensen. 

"No, I didn't he must have wanted it to be a surprise for you." 

"It sure is. Look at him Jared he is a natural on stage and look at the people they can't get enough of him."

"Yeah I think he asked Richard to video it for you, look over there."

I looked to where Jared was pointing and there was Richard video-ing the whole song. Mental note thank him later when Jensen finishes in stage. Jared pulled me closer so I felt the warmth if his body and comfort. Jensen still hadn't looked else where his eyes were still on mine. Richard zoomed the camera on me as he saw what only a few people saw my eyes were on Jensen and they showed how much I loved him. He smiled to himself as he turned back to Jensen and zoomed in on him. Misha was still holding my hand as he rubs my hand with his fingers for comfort. He knew how much I loved Jensen and he me. 

"Minion are you enjoying the show?"

"Yes Overlord Sir I am."

He gave me a toothy grin and kept hold of my hand through the whole song. 

**_And when you call and need me near_  
** Sayin' where'd you go?  
Baby, I'm right here  
And on those days when the sky begins to fall  
Baby be my love  
We can get through it all 

**_Baby, let me be your shelter_  
** Never leave you all alone  
I can be the one you call  
When you’re feelin' low 

**Baby, let me be your fortress  
** When the night winds are driving on  
Be the one to light the way  
Bring you home 

**_Baby, let me be your shelter_  
** Never leave you all alone  
I can be the one you call  
When you’re low 

Jensen is a wonderful singer and he does love it in stage. I love hearing him sing sometimes that was the only thing that would help when I was home and was depressed and felt like giving up. He always made me feel better about myself even though we never have met. His character Dean always was an amazing character as I felt closer to Dean than I did any other character. I guess it's was because we both felt like nothing and we didn't matter to the people around us. Dean was always important as he held his family together and was always there to fight and help. 

**_Baby, let me be your fortress_ **

**_When the night winds are driving on_**  
_**Be the one to light the way**_  
_**Bring you home**_  
_**Be the one to light the way**_  
_**Bring you home**_

The song finished as the audience went wild. Jensen said, "Thank you," as he kissed his fingers and tapped it on his chest. 

"I love you Baby," he mouthed the words for me to see. 

Rob said, "Jay you staying to sing one more song?"

"Yeah alright," he had turned and wiped his face and had a drink of water. The music started for "Simple Man" as he sang my two favourite songs. Richard was still recording when he zoomed in on me. I was laughing, smiling and singing along to the song. Jensen encouraged us all to sing as I got Jared and Misha to sing also. It was fun and I forgot my troubles just for a little bit. I was having a good time with my friends and boyfriend. This is what I needed as I know tomorrow is going to be a hard day and I need to relax and enjoy myself. 

Can Daniela help me tomorrow or will there be no hope? Will Jensen, Jared and Misha also help or not? Will I be able to fight my demons and finally win? Or will I be lost to my father forever and his abuse? Am I strong enough to fight him or too weak and lose? 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your wonderful comment and kudos they are very much appreciated. 
> 
> Again I like to apologise for the slow updates. Will try to update more regularly if I can. 
> 
> Thank you for reading my story and staying with me through all this. Jensen and the Readers story will come to an end soon but I'm thinking of continuing this story but with a new beginning after the convention in Australia.


	38. The one where J2M care.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader and Jensen have a quite night in or do they? Can she bet the nightmares and her father?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Jensen have a quite night in or do they? Can the reader beat the nightmares and her father? Are Jensen, Jared, Misha and Clif prepared for what's to come or will they walk away? 
> 
> Warnings: nightmares, worrying, apologises, grinding against each other, nudity, Jensen being sexy, humour, love, caring and support. 
> 
> I am so sorry this is late I am having a bit of writers block at the moment but I shall continue to write this when I can. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Comments are welcomed and encouraged.

The convention ended and we all went home I was exhausted and Jensen literally had to carry me inside the house. He gently laid me down as he kisses me lightly on the lips. He looks down at me with a look only lovers knew. Their was hope in his eyes, the eyes that looked into my very soul. He smiles as his eyes sparkled in the light.

"Baby do you want to sleep?"

"Why what did you have in mine?" I said, with a yawn. 

"Well I was thinking maybe we could watch something on TV and relax together."

"Sounds nice Jay what shall we watch?"

"What are you in the mood for Babe," as he pats my stomach.

"Maybe a Rom-com something funny."

He rolled his eyes but he still had the smile on his face. "Ok, how about Sweet Home Alabama."

"What's it about?"

"Well it's about a woman who is getting engaged but she is already married to someone else. So she goes home to Alabama to get the divorce papers signed but she has faked her name after making something of herself in the city. So she goes home and mayhem happens while she is trying to ge the divorce. I won't tell you the ending as it will spoil it but you will love this movie."

"Ok, sounds interesting," as he takes my shoes off and then helps me with my clothes as he puts my shirt on I wear to bed and he quickly changes in his PJ's as well. He puts the TV on and Netflix as he lies down next to me and pulls me into his arms as we get comfortable. He turns the lights down and then puts the movie on. 

I'm watching it when the scene where Jake has locked Melanie out of the house. I'm laughing as Jensen is watching me, his smile widens as he eyes don't leave me as I watch the movie. He kisses my head as I continue to laugh. He is enjoying this movie way more than any other time he has watched a movie alone. He wasn't overly fond of Rom-coms until now. He couldn't get over how much he loved me and it was the best feeling in the world to love someone and have the love return unconditionally. 

I went quiet as the movie got serious for a time as he watched the emotions sweep across my face. I had tears falling down my face with the bit with the cemetery and when Melanie is talking to the dog who passed away and Jake walks up. I wiped my eyes and Jensen is trying not to laugh at me. 

"You'll alright Baby?"

I sniff and reply, "Fine why?"

"You sound like you're crying."

"Shut up Jensen that scene was sad," he did laugh now as I nudge him in the ribs.

"Ouch that hurt," with a huge grin.

"Good that's for laughing at me."

"Who me never?"

"Jay please."

"Ok, ok I will let you watch the rest of the movie."

"Thanks Jay," he pulls my chin up for a quick kiss first. 

"You know it's just a movie right."

"Yes, Jensen I do." He nodded as he held me tighter. He kept quiet for the remainder of the movie and when it finished he said, "So how was it?"

"I loved it I thought Josh Lucas is very sexy Jay."

"Sexy hey."

"Yep sexy as he had amazing blue eyes," as I kiss his eyes. "Soft pink lips," as I moist mine and kiss his lips. He moves his tongue in my mouth as we massage each other's tongues. He growls as he rolls me onto my back and deepens the kiss and his squeezes my breast. My hands had gone up under his t-shirt he wore to bed as I scratch lightly down his back. He moves so he is on top of me and he grinds our bodies together as I could feel his hardness on my thigh. 

"Jay," I say breathless. 

"Hmm," he answered and continues to grind against me. 

He kisses my sweet spot on my neck as I moan with pleasure. His hand slips between us as he rubs my clothed heat. He was moaning loudly now as was I. He was moving his hips faster as I moved with him. I felt the coil tighten as it was about to snap. 

"Jensen Ackles I'm ah, oh my God, Jensen." 

"I'm right with you Baby."

I shake as my orgasm hits as I let out a silent scream of Jensen's name. He grunts as he squirts in his pants. He's kissing my neck as we ride each through our intense orgasms. We are both panting and sweating when Jensen finally rolls off me and laids down beside me. 

I can't believe I just did this with Jensen I've never initiated any kind of sex before. Boy did it feel so good. We were both panting as Jensen's just looks at me and gives me a smirk.

"Jay um, I didn't um --," he puts his finger on my lips and said, "it's ok it's incredible but it won't get you pregnant." 

"No I wasn't going to say that I was going to say it felt good to start. I like grinding with you and maybe we could go further than just grinding on each other."

"Really you think your ready for that?"

"I'm not sure but we could watch some porn and go from there."

"Ok sounds good Baby."

"We should clean up and change out of these's clothes Jay."

"Shower together?" as he raised his eyebrows in question.

I tried not to laugh but I smiled and said, "Sure Jay."

He helps me up and into the bathroom as we get undress. Yep I was watching Jensen undress. He is very mythological on how he does it. I've watched him before. He takes his shirt of slowly as he pulls it over he chiseled chest and then slowly over his head. He drops it to the floor. I can tell you it was hot or maybe it was getting hot in the bathroom and the shower wasn't even on yet. Then he bends down so I have a very sexy view of his firm ass. I wanted to squeeze and slap it but I pulled my hand back. He saw the sudden movement and smirked. He removed one leg then the other. Yep him pulling down his pants was even more sexy. As he wiggled his butt as he went. I did try not to laugh at him but it looked absolutely hilarious and hot at the same time. He then stood in front of me in his boxers which had a large wet patch in front of them. He watched me never breaking eyes contact as he pulled them down. He stood there completely naked. One thing you could say about Jensen he was definitely buff and hard in all the right places as I smiled to myself. 

He stood then and waited for me to begin to undress. I did one button at the time as he groaned waiting.

"Come Baby I want to see you."

"You are seeing me Jay."

"Funny all of you naked."

"Oh right."

"I'm feeling a little undress here Baby."

I giggled as I finally but slowly pulled the shirt off my shoulders as I had it down straddled around my breasts. He couldn't wait so he kissed my neck and sucked my sweet spot as I let my arms wrap around his neck and the shirt fell to the ground. 

"Nice," as he looks at my breasts. 

He ghosts over one as he softly brushes it. I felt a shiver go down to my heat between my legs. He doesn't touch anything else and just softly circles my breasts. 

"Jensen I need to take these's off," as I point to my panties. He lowers his hand and pulls them from my body as he throws them on the floor. He picks me up and turns the shower on. We climb under as he reaches for the soap and lathers it to wash my body. I put my head up the water and he puts the soap down and gets the shampoo he loves washing my hair. I am leaning heavily on the wall for support as he turns me around so my ass is facing him. He washes my hair and then conditioner's it also. He had hold of the soap but he gives it to me as I wash my body while he watches me. Then he washes his head and body. I could tell you this it was the most erotic thing I have witness as he glides the soap over his curves and bulges. He can make a shower the sexiness thing ever and god I was trying not to moan aloud as I closed my eyes. 

"Open your eyes Y/N," he whispers quietly. 

I swallow the lump which formed in my throat as I continue to watch him. He deliberately takes his time with the soap and the way he moves it over his body. I was watching him he was perfect in every way. His eyes meet with mine as he gives me a grin which was mischievous and devilish. I was thinking was are you up too Jensen Ackles. But he finished washing himself as he rinsed off letting the water run over his very hot body. He turns the water off and grabs our towels he wraps one around my hair and then the other around my body. He then wraps one around his waist as he helps me into the bedroom. He gets me some panties and one of his clean shirts to wear to bed. I dried myself as he wraps his shirt around me. It smelt like him and the scent was familiar and relaxing. I felt like he was giving a warm hug. I sat down to put on my panties as he had chosen the satin ones. He then got dressed as well in his PJ's and then told me to turn as he dried my long hair with the towel. He massaged my hair as he dried it and it felt wonderful and was relaxing under his skilful hands. He moved to my shoulders and back as he told me to lie down. He massaged my back and moved his way down my body until I had relaxed enough to fall asleep. He hands were magic as I drifted off to sleep. He looked at me and knew I was asleep as I hadn't moved so he climbed in next to me and rolled me over and pulled me to his very warm body. 

I slept without any nightmares which was a first night I haven't in over month. I woke first as I could feel Jensen's breath on my neck. I could smell his familiar scent it was always comforting to wake in his arms. I knew we will have to get up soon as we have to go to my appointment with Daniela and Clif, Jared, Misha who was coming as well. We had asked Bob if he could move some of the panels around so we could go to my appointment. He told them they we all were exhausted and would come in later in the morning. So their panel times had been moved as well as their ops and autographs. We explained how important this session was with Daniela and why I needed to see her today. He was very understanding and said, "take all the time you need." So this is what I have to face today the battle with my father. I was worried he will win but I'm going to give him a hell of a fight first. With Jensen, Jared and Misha there I will have the strength to beat him finally. He isn't going to control my life anymore. 

When we get back to the convention Gen is meeting us there today. I was thinking it would be nice to have Gen there with me today. She has been a great support and I love her like a sister. I never felt the love of a sister before and it was nice to have someone there for me other than Jensen, Jared, Misha and Clif. We can talk girly stuff together and I feel comfortable talking to her about it all. 

She explain how sex will feel when Jensen and I finally have it. It sounds incredible and amazing. I want to have sex with Jensen but I'm afraid I will not be good enough for him. "She told me he would show what to do and how to bring him pleasure as he will make sure you also get pleasure from the experience. He will also make sure your ready before he does anything. Jensen is a good man and he will wait for you. He loves you Y/N I've never seen Jensen in all the years I have known him to show this much love for a person." I smiled and said, "thank you," I gave her a hug and we talked about other things. 

Jensen moaned as he was waking up. "Good morning Babe," I said. "Have a good sleep?"

"Morning Baby," as he kissed me. "I should be asking you that question. But yes I did and you, did you sleep well?"

"Yes I did no nightmare Jay."

"That's good so what did you dream about."

"Well," I gave him a sheepish grin. "Jared and Misha were......," "You dreamt about my best friends," I laughed and he knew I was joking. 

"I dreamt about you and me Jay we were happy and it's good to have good dreams for once."

"Yeah it is and I'm glad we were happy as I am the happiest man alive when I'm with you."

"Really Mr Ackles," he looked at the Mr Ackles and smiles. 

"Yes Y/N Y/L/N I am."

He drew me into his arms and kissed me ever so slowly as he worked his mouth over mine as our tongues danced together. It was a good morning and today was going to be a good day. Today I'm going to beat my demon and kill him off for good. My life meets to much to me for me to lose it now and I don't want too. For the first time in my life it's been perfect and I've been happy. 

"Jensen," I said while we were kissing. 

"Mm," he answered.

"Have to get up and go to see Daniela today. Are you ready for it?"

"I am, what about you?"

"I'm going to try and fight him today Jay. I need him to be gone for good."

He grabs my hand and said, "I will be right there with you as will Jared and Misha."

"I know you will be. I'm so sorry for worrying you yesterday when I had the nightmare."

"I was worried we couldn't get you back Baby. But you came back to me."

"I will always come back to you Jensen always," as I kiss his lips. 

"We better get up and get ready."

"Yep ok," as we both head to the bathroom to shower. 

We dressed and headed down for breakfast. I pushed my food around on my plate as I wasn't really hungry I think it was more nerves than anything else. Jensen ate a few bites of his before he took them away and washed them up. 

"Ready Baby." 

I shook my head as the doorbell rang. Jensen answered it and looked at Jared and Misha with Clif in the rear. Jared looked at Jensen and asked, "How is she today?"

"Good she's doing better Jared."

"Is she in the kitchen?" Misha asked. 

"Yes," as they all headed their. 

Jared got there first and pulled me into a tight hug. He seemed upset and didn't want to let go. 

"Jared need to breathe." 

"Oh sorry Princess, I was scared I was going to lose you yesterday we all were."

"I'm so sorry I put you all through that," as a tear slipped down my face. 

Misha came over and wiped the tear away and said, "As long as your alright." 

"Yeah I'm good I'm glad you were all there for me and I love you all," as I rubbed my face in his hand. 

He gives me a small smile as Jensen looks at us as Misha pulls me into a hug as well. Jensen mouths the words, "I love you." 

"I know," I mouth back. 

Clif cleared his throat as he moved towards me and said, "Baby girl I'm happy to see your looking better today and I hope your appointment goes well also."

I whispered, "Thanks Dad," he gives me the best smile and pats my shoulder. 

Jensen said, "We better go or we will be late."

"You ready Princess," Jared said. 

"Yeah I'm ready to fight my demons and hopefully slain them as well."

"Don't forget we will be there to help you to Minion," Misha said. 

They all walked out as I stood there just watching all four off them leave the house. They were the people who saved me in Australia, can they save me again. Or is it too late this time. What did Daniela have in store for my session with her that Jensen, Jared and Misha had to attend. I felt a little apprehensive and anxious about my appointment but I knew I was in safe hands as Daniela has always helped me. Can she help me this time? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kind comments and kudos they are very much appreciated. 
> 
> I will update when I can as I'm finding it hard to write due to writers block. But I will continue this story until I finish it. But it may be intermittent updates for now until I get my mojo back. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading my story and sticking with me. It means more to me than I can say and you all are very dear to my heart. So please keep sticking with me until the end. 
> 
> The next chapter I might write what happens when the Reader sees Daniela for help and how Jensen, Jared, Misha take it all in and how they can help or will they decide it's too much and leave her. Next chapter up as soon as I can.


	39. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader has her session with Daniela with Jensen, Jared and Misha for support and help. 
> 
> Reader has her session with Daniela does it go good or bad? Is she strong enough to stop her father from evading her nightmares and having control over her? Or is it too late for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader has her session with Daniela does it help her or does it go bad? Can she be saved or is it too late? 
> 
>  Warnings: talk of child abuse, very coarse language, supportive Jensen, Jared and Misha, angry Jensen, hurt Jensen, memory of child abuse, Reader finds peace and forgiveness. 
> 
>    
> Please don't not read if this chapter causes any triggers your health is more important than my story. 
> 
>    
> Unbetaed all mistakes my own. 
> 
> Comments welcome and encouraged.

We all head to my appointment I'm wringing my hands as I felt the anxiety rising within me. I'm not sure what's going to happen with Daniela. What if she can't help me and he gets complete control over me. What if I hurt Jensen not meaning too. God I'm so afraid with what's going to happen.

My breathing was coming in short pants as my eyes start to blur. I reach out for Jensen who's talking to me but I couldn't hear him. It's getting harder to breath as Misha shouts to Clif to stop the car.

Clif pulls over as Jensen lifts me out of the car and places me on a chair nearby. Jared rushes out of the car with Misha as they sitting on the other side of me as Jensen squeezes my hand. Clif looks on worried as he tries to help. 

"Can't, can't breathe," I said between gasps. 

"I know Baby let us help you," Jensen said.

I claw at my throat trying to get air into my lungs when Jared decides to grab me in a hug, it's making it worst as Jensen said, "Jared she's not looking so good."

"Jensen what are we going to do?" Misha asked.

"This," Jensen rubs his hand along my cheek as he slowly pulls me towards him. He moist his lips as he slowly touches my lips. He moves his mouth this way and that as I close my eyes and focus on his lips. The softness of them, the warmth, the heat of them on mine. He knew the exact moment he had me back as I kissed him back. He still rubbed my cheek softly as he pulls back, he looks me in the eyes to see they were clear and focusing.

"Hey Pincess, what brought the panic attack on?" Jared asked. 

"Can you tell us what happened?" Misha said.

"Baby are you alright?"

"I, um, not sure."

Clif looked at me and held my hand and said, "you can tell us anything and we will be here for you. We love you Y/N."  
I smiled as I looked at four sets of worried eyes. I knew I owed them an explanation but how do I tell them my fears and what I was feeling. They have had enough to deal with, with me so far. Maybe I shouldn't come here and gotten them involved in my broken life. They don't need me to damage them any more than I already have. But I knew now if I left they will come after me and make me see reason.

So I knew they wouldn't move from this spot without me saying something.

So I looked each of them in the eyes and said, "I'm fine really I was just worrying about the appointment," I know I lied but I didn't want them to worry unnecessarily or until the time came to worry.

Jensen said, "hey look at me. We will be there with you the whole time."

"Yeah Princess and we won't be going anywhere."

"We better go if your feeling better Y/N or we will be late," Misha said.

Jensen helped me up and gave me a quick hug while Jared and Misha rubbed my back and Clif squeezed my shoulder. I knew they all cared a lot for me but will it be enough to help me.

We arrived a short time later Clif wished us all luck as we get out of the car. Jensen has hold of my hand as I was only using one crutch now. I see Paul back in Adelaide in a few weeks but my knee felt fine to walk on. We were told to sit as my good leg bounced in agitation Jared softly put his hand on it to stop it and to help settle my nerves. He gives me a grin as he whispers, "it's going to alright. Promise you Princess."

I nodded as my grip on Jensen's hand got tighter. He looks at me with worry in his eyes. Daniela called us all in as she had brought in more chairs for Jared and Misha.

She looked at me and asked, "Are you ok Y/N?"

I shook my head no.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not yet Daniela."

"Ok, when your ready."

"Thank you."

"Hello Jensen and who's this?" She was pointing to Jared.

"That's Jared and Misha."

"Please to meet you both. I guess your all wondering why I asked you all to come today?"

"The thought had crossed our minds," Misha said. 

"Well Y/N here will need all the support she can get from the people she trusts most and loves. So I asked you here for that plus to show you how to help her."

Jared looks at me as I made myself as tiny as possible as I was curled into Jensen's side. He knew I was scared and afraid they had seen me like this a few times before.

"First Y/N tell me about yesterday with the nightmare?"

I looked at her blankly for a minute until Jensen said, "she was thrashing around a lot and screaming in her sleep. When she woke she didn't really remember any of it."

"Is that true Y/N?"

"No," I whispered.

I heard three gasps as they each looked at me wanting an answer. I swallow a lump in my throat as my voice was weak when I say.

"I'm sorry," as I look at them all. "I remember bits of it but not all of it."

"What do you remember Y/N?" Daniela asks.

I swallow as my voice is soft and tiny, "I remember my father hitting me in the nightmare making me feel scared and afraid of him. I vaguely remember him calling me horrible names."

"Anything else Y/N?"

"The nightmares I have at home," as I grip Jensen's hand harder, "He's fucking more aggressive and he asks me what I'm thinking. Like he would tell me my dreams are a waste of time because I'm a nobody and I mean fucking nothing to no one. He would get more violent and angrier in each dream." I was holding back the tears that threaten to fall down my face. I shook my head to stop them from falling. Jared was looking at me as he was wishing he could make me better. Misha moved over towards me and sat down near my knees and gently rubbed them. 

Daniela was taking this all in watching how they each showed me love and support. She had seen Jensen before as she observed Jared and Misha. Jensen was also watching me very closely as I was trying to hold myself together. He bent his head as it touched mine and he said, "You don't have to be strong Y/N, we will still love you no matter how bad it gets."

Jared moved my face so I was looking at him as he kissed me gently on the forehead, "I love you and so does my kids and Gen."

"Jared I'm um......," "no Princess we do and tell me that you know that. We love you and will tell you every day until you believe it!"

"I know but I'm worried I'm going to hurt you all or disappoint you. I'm not strong and I'm a complete mess. I'm damaged and broken and I don't think I can beat him he has control over me and he's getting stronger each nightmare. I hate him I want to kill him. But I can't  fight him, he scares me."

"Y/N he's not real he can't hurt you. I want to try hypnosis and see if we all can fight him together. Jensen I want you to talk to her while she is under and direct her. Jared and Misha I want to two to hold her hand and when I tell you I want you both to tell her how much she means to you both to bring her back." 

"Daniela I'm not sure this will work he's a violent fucking evil son-of -a-bitch."

"Do you trust me?"

I shook my head when she said, "I need you to say the words Y/N."

"Yes I trust you."

"So will you let me try and see if we can make you stronger."

Jensen looked at me with such sorrow and sadness he had a tears forming in his eyes as he tried to hide them. I reach over and cupped his face as one fell and I wiped it away. 

He whispers quitely, "You got this Baby or at least try for us."

I looked at Jared who was given me a sad smile as was Misha.

Misha said, "Minion you can do this and we are here with you," as he squeezed my leg. 

"I, um, ok I will try."

"Good so lie down," as Jensen moved but Daniela waved him off. "Stay there and hold her Jensen so she can feel you."

I put my head in his lap and I looked into his tear glisten eyes as I saw something I've never really noticed before he's eyes show how much pain he was feeling for me. They also were a darker shade of green, he's brushing my hair off of my face as he rubs my forehead and bends down and kisses it. 

Daniela said, "Are you comfortable Y/N?"

"Yes Daniela," I had hold of Misha's hand and Jared was rubbing my arm. Jensen had his arm over my chest as he held my arm. I felt safe in Jensen's arms as Daniela started the hypnosis. 

"Right Y/N just breath in, out, in , out that's it. Felt Jensen holding you and you feel safe as you relax. You also feel Jared and Misha's touches as well and they are soothing and calming. That's it now relax you arms and hands, relax your eyes and mouth, relax your whole body. I want you to listen to my voice and Jensen's. She motion to Jensen to say something. 

"Hey Baby your safe here."

"Can you hear us Y/N."

"Yes I can."

"I will count to 5 and you will be completely relaxed, 5.....4.......3.......2.......ok you should be really relaxed now.....1, how do you feel Y/N."

"I'm feeling calm and rested."

"Good now I want you to see the TV. Remember what the TV does Y/N?"

"Yes, it shows me pictures of my life but they can't hurt me as they are only memories in the TV."

"Good, good so turn the TV on and tell me what you see?"

"I see my father he's drunk and angry."

"What is he doing?"

"He's sitting in front of the TV watching some sports game and I think they are losing."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm cleaning the house and I'm sweating in front of the TV."

"Where is your Mother while this is happening?"

"Don't know she's not here."

"Ok, so it's just you and your father right?"

"Yes."

"What happens next?"

I grip Misha's hand tighter as I flinch Jensen's arm tights more on my chest. Jared grips my arm gently as he looks at my face it had changed from a adult into a child like face. 

"I'm scared," in a small voice. 

"Remember it's can't hurt you it's just a memory. You an adult now not a child."

"I kicked me out of the way of the TV. I landed heavily on the floor and bruised my knees. The broom has landed under me and snapped the wood has broken the skin. I'm bleeding but he gets up and pulls his belt from his jeans. Please Daddy I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me."

"Y/N I need you to move. Can you move?"

"Too much pain and blood," as I had tears flowing down my face. 

"Your watching it on the TV it can't hurt you Y/N."

"No, please no, daddy." I jump with every hit with the belt. 

Daniela looks at Jensen he was crying but he understood. "Baby can you hear me?"

I was screaming in pain now as Jensen said, "Y/N listen to me. Can you hear me?" 

I went silent as I said, "Jensen?" 

"Yes Baby, I need you to stand can you do that for me."

"I'm in a lot of pain Jensen he whipped me with his belt."

"Listen to me he hasn't hit you, you are safe here with Jared, Misha and myself. It's just a memory. I need you to fight back can you do that?"

"I don't know Jensen his too strong."

"Hey your stronger and you can bet he for yourself and for us."

"Jensen can you help me?"

"Sure Baby what do you need me to do?"

"Can you talk with me as I do it?"

"Of course I will. I'm not going anywhere." 

He wipes the tears from my face as he said, "ok let's do this Y/N."

"Ok, what do you need me to do?"

"First of all stand up. Can you do that?"

"Yes give me a second. He's coming again Jensen I'm scared."

"Don't be, are you standing?"

"Yes."

"Now find some kind of protection is there any there?"

"I can put myself between him and the lounge he can't reach me."

"Good do that. Now look at him."

"What do you see?"

"He's drunk and staggering, he's mumbling and he can't really see me."

"That's good so what are you going to do."

"I'm going to shout at him, he can't frighten me any more he has no control over my life. His fucking dead and he's going to stay dead. He means nothing to me. He's just a monster that beat on his child. I hate you damn son-of -a- bitch for all the broken bone, the beatings, the abuse and scars. You damaged me mentally, pysically and emotionally. I'm a grown woman now and I'm stronger than him. I am loved and have a great life and have people who love me very much. You can't hurt me anymore." 

"So tell him that," Jensen said in a soft voice. 

I started shouting at him, " I hate you, your not my father your an fucking evil devil," but he look at me and changed into the kind man he was before he lost his job and started drinking. "Jensen it's my Dad."

"What's happening?" Almost in a whisper. 

"His my Dad before he lost his job and beat me. He's looking at me with sadness."

"What's he saying?" Jensen said in a loving voice. 

"Jensen his coming over as I move away but he's telling me it's safe. He's hugging me Jensen and whispering, I'm so sorry Y/N. Please forgive me over and over again."

"Can you forgive him Baby?" his voice cracked with tears. 

Jared, Misha and Jensen were silently crying as they listen to me. 

"Jensen I needed to forgive so I can move on and have my life with you."

"Then forgive him Baby."

I said, "I forgive you Dad," he kissed me and disappeared. 

Daniela said, "Y/N what happened?"

"He kissed me and disappeared."

"How do you feel now?"

"I'm, god, I'm not sure. I feel emotionally drained and tired but he's gone."

"Ok, I'm going to bring you out now. So relax I will count from 5 to 1. 5......., 4.......,3......,2......,1 ok you should be wide awake but relaxed. Open your eyes Y/N."

I slowly open my eyes as I see Jensen's looking down at me. As his hand goes to my face as he bents to kiss me on the lips. It was a soft kiss and I knew he was proud of me.

Daniela said, "Y/N you did good. I think you both have found your peace."

Jensen helps me sit up as I look at Jared and Misha's faces. I motion for Jared to come over and I hold him in my arms as he let out breath and he coughed to clear his throat. 

"Hey Jared it's ok. I'm good thank you for being here for me. I love you."

"I love you too Princess."

Misha came over and sits next to me as Jared moved away and pulls me into a hug as he held me so tight but I let him. He was hurting for me as was Jared and he whispered, "You did good minion. I'm proud of you." 

"Thanks Overlord that's means a lot."

Daniela waited until we had finished when she said, "You all did good today to help Y/N because of you she was able to find some peace with her Father. Jensen you did amazing job talking Y/N through the trauma she really loves you."

"Yes she does and I love her."

"Y/N I'm proud of the progress you've made today and how much you have achieved in our sessions. I still would like to see you maybe every two weeks as you still have a lot of things still to sort through but making peace with your father was a big step to healing."

"Thanks Daniela I feel better like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I appreciate everything you have been doing for me."

"Your welcome. See you in two weeks. If you need me before then just give me a call and I will fit you in like today."

Jensen said, "Thank you Daniela."

"All good Jensen, nice meeting you Jared and Misha," as they shake her hand. 

"Good bye Daniela."

"Good bye Y/N and Jensen."

Jared helps me up as they both Misha and Jared have hold of me around the waist as we wait for Jensen. Jensen gets up and Jared moves away to let Jensen in but he waves him off and they walk with me out to the car. We get my next appointment and we head out to the car. Clif sees us coming and hops out and opens the door. He helps me in as Jensen, Jared and Misha also get in. 

Clif asks, "So what happened?"

"Well I made peace with my father Clif his finally gone."

"That's great to hear Baby girl. I'm so proud of you," as he kisses my cheek and gives me a brief hug. 

"I wouldn't be able to do it if it wasn't for theses three amazing men in my life who helped me through it all."

"We didn't do anything you did all the work Princess."

"No your wrong you did help by being there for me and it's mean a real lot or me. I love you all very much."

"We love you too Baby," Jensen said. 

 

Clif got back in the car and we went to the convention. It's wasn't too far from where we were and it only took us about 10 mins to get there. They had pushed all there panels and photo ops back an hour so we arrived with 10 minutes to spare. 

Bob saw us enter and asked, "how it all go Y/N?"

"Great Bob thank you for letting us all go it helped me a great deal."

"I'm glad it helped. Ok Jensen you doing a panel with Misha and Jared now. I cancelled your solo panel as there wasn't enough time. So that should put everything back on schedule."

"Thanks Bob, I need a coffee before we go on stage."

"Sure I've had Louden Swain and Richard and Rob doing a panel to fill in time."

"Ok, we will be back in a minute. Baby would you like a drink?"

"Maybe some water thanks Jay," he smiles and kisses my forehead before he, Jared and Misha move away to get there drinks. 

Bob said, "How are you feeling Y/N?"

"I'm good I've made peace with my father and I feel lighter and not so scared anymore Bob."

"I think it's good to make peace with the things that hurt you most and that way you can move ahead with your life."

"Yes I think so too."

Clif said, "Y/N do you want a chair, I will go get you one."

"That would be nice thanks Clif," he gives me a smile that reaches his eyes. 

They return with there drinks and Clif with the chair as we are all directed towards the stage. Clif puts the chair down and I sit he stands behind me like he normally would do. Jensen, Jared and Misha are waiting to go on stage. They each look at me and Misha gets me a quick hug. Then Jared gives me a hug and kisses my forehead. Jensen pulls me slowly into a hug and kisses me deeply. 

He pulls back and said, "I love you Baby."

I smile back as they are getting called to the stage and I shout I love you too Jensen Ackles. The screaming was so loud as they make there way on stage. 

"Hey Vancouver," Jared said. 

"Hey Everyone its nice to be here," Misha said. 

"Hi Canada, how you all doing?" 

The screaming was deafening but they loved it. They put their drinks down as Jared turns his chair. 

Jared said, "So who's a first timer?" 

There was screams as people put there hands up. 

"Welcome all you newbies to your first convention," Jensen said. 

"So sorry we are late we had a personal matter to attend to this morning," Misha said. The audience are screaming and shouting things out as Jensen looks at me. 

I smile back and for the first time in a long time my heart isn't feeling heavy with fear or being scared. I can feel myself happy with my life with Jensen. I'm going to enjoy my peace and make sure nothing ever destroys my happiness again. I'm not going to be afraid and be that scared little girl anymore. I know I'm stronger now and I can achieve anything. As I watch there panel I realise my life is where I want it to be with Jensen, Jared, Misha and Clif. The love of my life and my best friends and this is my peace, my heaven, my life. What more could I ask for or want. 

Except maybe sleep for a week but we had a convention to do and then I can sleep in Jensen's arms and feel safe. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your wonderful comments and kudos it's very much appreciated. 
> 
> So for taken so long to post again but hopefully I will post again soon. 
> 
> It's wonderful to hear you all your comments for me as a writer means a lot and gives me encouragement to continue my story. I'm also glad you are still enjoying my story as it will be coming to an end soon not very many more chapters to go. 
> 
> It will be sad to say goodbye to this story but I am continuing it with a new chapter. Which will continue after the convention in Melbourne. We get to see the Readers up and downs still with Jensen. Their marriage and if they have children, how the organisation is going and her role on Supernatural. Her relationships with Jensen, Jared, Misha, Clif, Gen and so on.


	40. The one where Jensen breaks down.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader is supported by Jensen, Jared and Misha but they are hurting and she tries to ease they pain. The Reader is on set to finish her scenes but something happens during the shoot? Is she alright or does something else happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader is doing her scene and something happens can she finish it? 
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings: mention of suicide, coarse language, Jensen distressed and crying, Jared upset and crying, Misha upset too, Reader supports J2M, sorry if I missed anything warnings please let me know if I have and I will add them. 
> 
> Next chapter will probably be the last in this series as I'm going to try and rewrite chapter 6 as the Reader has come along way and has achieved so much and I would like to show that in this chapter. 
> 
> I am continuing the story after Jensen proposes to the Reader and what happens the night of her birthday. I hope you all will continue to stick with me as we head into her life as she and Jensen prepare to get married/ have kids/ the Organisation/ and her starring role on Supernatural plus her first official convention. Plus there will be a lot of twists and turns along the way for them to support each other. 
> 
> Please all comments are welcome and encouraged. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own.

 

The panel finished and they came off stage. Jensen was the first to reach me and gave me a hug and whispered, "he loved me." Jared literally pushed Jensen out of the way to give me a hug as he lifted me so I would reach. I giggled as Jensen was mad at Jared. Misha stood quietly while Jared hugged me and Jensen was complaining that I was his girlfriend. Jared finally let go and before he did he said, "it's nice to see you smiling again Princess."

I said, "It's good to be able to and I feel really good."

Misha smiles at me it's really does light up his face when he smiles like when Jensen does. He gently pulled me into a hug and I cuddle into him as he rubs my hair. He doesn't say anything as I know he is happy that I'm better. He finally lets go as he rubs my arm and Jensen watches as he realises how much they care for me. His face softens when he looks at me and smiles. He knows I love him more than anything but I love Jared and Misha like brothers. 

Jared looked worried as if he wanted to say something but hesitant.

"What's wrong Jared?" I asked. 

"Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"No, what would you like to know?"

"Are your sessions always that hard Y/N?"

I look at Jensen and he nodded, "Yes there Jared. I have had a lot of things happen to me in my life and sometimes when I'm hypnotist I go back to being a little girl who was abused by her parents and friends at school."

"I found it hard and not being able to help you," Misha said.

I looked at them both but you did help me both of you. You were their for me and held my hand I could feel your touches and it helped me. It made me stronger than I have ever been and I love you both for being their for me."

"Princess I was really hard seeing you that broken and I didn't think we could help you. I'm glad we did and we're able to help slay one of your demons."

"You did and thank you. If it wasn't for you three I wouldn't be here now. You all saved me and I can never repay that to any of you."

Jensen rubbed my face as I lean my head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head. He knew how much I loved him and his support but I need to tell them all how much it means to me.

"Each of your support is what helps me the most and I know I can come to you if I need any help and you will be there?"

"Of course we will Baby. We are in this for the long haul good or bad. We will still love you and be here for you. You just got to remember to Always Keep Fighting for yourself and for us."

"I will I promise but I feel a lot stronger than I have in years and it because I finally stood up to my father. He can't hurt me anymore. Sure he will still be in my nightmares but I know how to stand up to him now to make him disappear. Eventually he will forever and then I will truly be free but I'm not scared anymore. I'm not that little kid who was broken and abused."

"No, Princess your not and we are proud of you."

"We also love you too," Misha said.

"I know," as I looked at them all. Jared smiled as Misha rubbed my arm. Clif was listening to all this and he said, "You can move on now with your life with Jensen and your other projects. It's good to see your happy Baby girl."

"Thanks Clif I am too."

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen hold my hand as we head to their photo ops. Clif is with us as a fan comes up and looks at us. She smiles as she sees Jensen holding my hand. She said in a soft voice as she looks at me, "Can I give you a hug?"

Clif is on guard as I said, "Sure, what's your name." 

She said, "Aeryn."

"Please to meet you I'm Y/N," as I hug her. I hold her for a few seconds before she brakes the hug and moves off. Jensen, Jared and Misha were surprised that Aeryn only wanted to hug me. I shrugged my shoulders as we move off together. Clif behind us as we walk watching everyone. We arrive at the photo ops as Jensen directs me to sit on a seat nearby. The people lined up were surprised to see me with them. Jensen is laughing and having fun with each photo op. Then it was them all together and I got to tell you I've never laughed so hard in my life. 

Then one young girl came up she was very nervous as she looked at them, they were welcoming as this poor girl started having a panic attack. I watched as I got up to help but Jensen waved me off as all three of them spoke to her and calmed her down. They have had plenty of practice with mine and it's good to see they were kind and waved the handlers off so they could calm her. When she was calm they gave her some water and Jared hugged her around the shoulders. Then when she was ready they did the photo op.

Jensen looks at me and I smile and he winks as me. They then move on to the next person they sure did make them do some funny things in the ops. But most mainly got hugs from them or had props. It's was good to see them all laughing and having fun. Even Clif was asked to do some also with them. 

When we finished the photo ops we had some lunch this is the time when we have to ourselves as it's a rule they are not to be disturbed while they eat. So we all sat down and ate together. Bob came over and asked, "if we were alright?"

Jensen said, "Just great Bob."

"Don't forget we start filming again tomorrow. Y/N," he said in a low voice. "Richard wants to finish your scene." 

"Ok, Bob I will be ready and prepared."

"Good, good Y/N, see you all tomorrow."

"Bye Bob," we all said in unison.

"So Princess how does it feel starring on Supernatural?"

"It's kind is surreal Jared but it will hit me as soon as I have to do cons I guess."

Jensen looked at Jared and something passed between them and I saw. "What?"

"Will you won't be doing them alone Baby."

"What do you mean?"

"We have told Bob that we will do the panel's with you. If your anything like me you will be shy and scared to answer the questions."

"So we are old hat at this and we will be there to support you and provide comedic relief if need be," Jared said. 

"Y/N will be there anytime is what we are saying," Misha answered. 

"You are the best you know that don't you," they all bowed their heads being humble. 

"We love you Y/N and that's what matters."

"I love you all too."

The convention finished and we headed home Jensen had asked the guys over for some dinner which we send out for. We had pizza and Jensen and the band had a jam session in the lounge room. He sang some songs I've never heard before as they sang a AC/DC song and got me to sing to. Yes I was a alright singer but no Jensen as they all laughed at my attempt. I laughed too as it was kind of funny. Jensen pulled me into his arms as he sang the songs. 

Jared was watching us and he knew we were right for each other. He had to speak with Jensen about a proposal. He knew it had only being a few months but you can never find love like this and if you do it's only once or maybe twice in your life. I saw Jared's way off look as he was smiling. 

They packed up around 11pm as we all have early call. I know it sounds funny as I think to myself. So they all left and Jensen and I went to bed. I didn't have a nightmare I had an amazing dream which was the first time ever. I was laughing in my sleep when I woke Jensen. He didn't hear screaming her heard laughter instead as he cuddles into me. He smiles and whispers, "Sweet dreams Baby,"as he kisses my neck and goes to sleep. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Boy I was happy and hyper the next morning like I had taking something and Jensen was laughing as I was trying to rush around the house and get ready bit hard though on one crutch. I will be glad when I finally get this knee brace off not long now. We ate breakfast on the go as Clif came early and we were just eating then. So Jensen poured our drinks into a hot cup holder and wrapped our toast. We were at the studio in no time at all. We ate the rest of our breakfast in the car as Jared and Misha were laughing at us. I poked my tongue out at them and they laughed harder I though Jared was going to fall out of the car with all the laughter he was doing. Jensen just looked at them and raised an eyebrow in question. 

We were all set to wardrobe and I had my makeup applied as I looked at it and it was still strange to see my face beat up again. I know this was only makeup and not real. 

We all made our way out to the set when Richard saw us. "Hey guys to ready to film you next scene. We might do a few takes to get it right ok Y/N?" 

"Sure Richard, just let me know what you want me to do?"

So we continued where we left off. Richard looked at me all bloody and beaten as he directed me to lie down. Then he told, “Jensen to sit down next to me. Jared your killing the vampire.”

“Right places everyone on my mark, Action.”

Jensen said, “Oh, god are you alright,” as he sees my unconscious body.

Then he went silent and Jared had killed the vampire pretending the guy was lying on the ground. 

Jared knew Jensen had another line as did I. 

Jensen was looking at me as his face changed and his eyes went all distance. He was seeing me when we had my sessions and what I was saying. When he left me and I was about to leave. All these emotions hit him in a blink of an eyes as the tears started to fall. Richard hadn't said anything no one has, as he let him do the scene. He was still filming it as Jensen lifted me into his arms and held me so tight. As he sobbed and the tears fell saying, “I'm sorry I was there for you Baby.”

I opened my eyes as I said, “I'm fine really.”

“I should have been there to protect you from the beatings and the abuse.”

“No you couldn't, they would have hurt you too.” 

Jared knew Jensen was upset as soon as he went quiet. He was sitting behind his best friend rubbing his back. Jensen's head was in the crook of my neck as I rubbed the back of his head. Jared was hurting for his friend and me so he pulled us into a bear hug. 

Richard had stopped filming and quietly told people to leave. 

“I will give you some time be back soon,” I shook my head and he left. 

Misha came running in a few minutes later and seeing us all hugging he knew it wasn't good. He thought it was me until he saw Jared pull away and motion to Jensen.

Misha came over and he saw I was uncomfortable so both he and Jared lifted us up so we were standing. Jensen not once broke contact with me.

Jensen hiccuped as he sobbed in my shoulder.

I just let him cry and until he felt like he could talk. I had a tear slip down my face as I could feel Jensen's pain. It scared me as Jensen has only did this a few times as if the makeup on my face caused him the distress. Misha was holding me as Jared was holding Jensen. You had to love them both for all the support they give us both. I looked at Jared and gave him a sad smile as Jensen finally pulled away slightly. His eyes were red and puffy as he uses his hand to wipe his nose. I gently kiss his tears away they tasted salty but I didn't care. The man I love most in the world was hurting because of me and I had to make it right. We didn't say anything as Jared and Misha watched us closely.

Jensen said, “I'm sorry for losing it.” With his head down as he couldn't look is in the eyes. 

“Hey, look at me Jensen," as he pulls his head up and look me in the eyes. "It's ok, we all have a breaking point this was yours. You've been so strong and supportive I forget you feel this too. I'm so sorry I put you through all this Jay."

Jared said, “Jay,” as Jensen looked at him.

He nodded as Misha said, “So what happened Jensen?”

“I um saw Y/N’s face and all the things we have been through kind of hit me and all I saw was her bloody beaten broken body. It was too much after everything she has been through. Don't be sorry Baby we wanted to be here for you."

“Jay this isn't real.”

“I know but when I saw you, you were a scared and I just couldn't handle seeing you like that.”

“Oh god what have I done to you all. I've broken you.”

Then he looked at me and said, “No you haven't I think this has been building for awhile and I saw you and it came out that's all.”

"Can I tell you all something now while we are all here together?"

Jared wiped the tear from his eye as he listened to me. "I know I can never repaid what you all have done for me. You all saved me and that's not a lie. I never knew what happiness was until I meet you all and you were patient enough to show me. I love you all for being here for me and the support and love you all share with me everyday. But when your hurting I'm hurting too as I can feel your pain in here, " (as I point to my heart). Jensen grabs my hand and kisses it and I kiss his. 

I wipe Jensen's tears away as I hug them all it was a little squishy but we managed. "So I'm doing good now and you helped me to get here. So don't do the what if? Do the what now's? We are going to pull ourselves together and get out makeup done. Then we are going to finish this scene no matter how many takes it takes. So we up for it?" 

Jensen, Jared and Misha all looked at me and they forgot how tough I could be. I gave Jensen one last hug and smacked his cute bottom as he gives me a smouldering look. Yep Jensen is back and he was getting back into Dean character. Jared on the other hand was still a little upset as I went over to him. "Jared."

"Yes, Princess."

"Remember the Always keep fighting campaign?"

"Yes, why?"

"It saved me before I met you, Jensen and Misha. Knowing it was out there and other people were having theses same struggles help me. When I wanted to give up I would hear your voice saying "Always keep fighting." It meant a great deal to a lot of us that you did thoses campaigns. I'm just sorry I couldn't afford any T-Shirts or the bracelet."

"Thank you Y/N I needed to hear that. It's good to know that the campaign saved you for Jensen he's really in love with you."

"I know he is as I am him but don't feel sad feel proud Jared you are an amazing man and you have helped me in so many ways. I love you, you know that right."

"I know, I love you too. Your like another sister," as he kisses me softly on the lips. This was the first time he has ever kissed me on the lips. But I knew he needed to feel close to me and he was like a brother to me. It was nice he thought of me as a sister. 

He took a deep breath as we walked over to Jensen and Misha. "You alright Jared?" Jensen asked. 

"Yeah fine, you have a wonderful woman here Jay," as is arm was resting on my shoulders. 

"Don't I know it," as he came over 

I looked at Misha and he was smiling but I could see sadness in his eyes as I gave him a hug and said, "I'm good Misha thank you for all you support. Love you Overlord Sir," he smiled reached his eyes as he said, "Love you Minion." 

We pull away and Jensen came over and kissed me softly on the lips it was a sweet kiss. 

"Get a room," we heard it echo as Richard had come back. 

"Ok, we will bye Richard," I said with a mischievous smile. 

"Woah, woah you have to finish filming first so we all good now," as he looked at Jensen. 

"Yeah sorry Richard about that."

"Hey your missus would have kicked my ass if I didn't let you sort it out."

That was all it took as we all laughed and he grin and then joined in. Misha stayed on set and watched the scene as Jensen nailed it this time. I screwed up a few times as Jensen and Jared directed me and I got it right. Jared was happier now too. Misha was joking around with Richard as I watched them all. Theses were the men in my life and tell you the truth I wouldn't change any of them. 

Richard yelled, "Cut." As we finished filming that episode and there was an applause from the cast and crew as Jensen told me to take a bow. He handed me a drink of lemonade as I was to make a quick speech which I did. 

Jensen, Jared and Misha decided they were taking me out somewhere to celebrate. We ended up at Jared's as they gave me a wrap party. I got to see Shep, Tom and Odette boy has she grown and looked just like her Dad. Shep stayed with me the whole time until Gen told him it was time for bed. He gave me a kiss good night and a hug as he went up to bed. 

Jensen was smiling, "See he still had a crush on you Baby."

"Yeah his a beautiful boy and I adore him as well you know."

"I know I've seen you with them and Odette. Maybe went your ready we could have a baby of our own?"

"Yeah maybe but not yet Mr Ackles."

"I didn't say now maybe in a year or two went you have become a big superstar like us," with a grin. 

I laughed as Gen and Jared walked in with Misha and Vicki. 

"What's so funny?" asked Misha.

"Well Jay here thinks I'm going to be a superstar like you all are?"

"Why wouldn't you be, your amazing, just look today you had us all crying and you sorted us all out."

Gen looked and raised and eyebrow. "What happened today?" she asked. 

Jensen ducked his head as Jared said, "Well babe we kind of had......?"

Jensen said, "I have a breakdown on set seeing YN in the makeup." 

"Oh, are you all alright?" 

"Yeah I helped them through it all. I was just sorry I caused it."

"Hey Princess you didn't cause it as Jensen said, "it had been building for awhile." I was hurting because my best friend was. That's all it was ok." 

"Ok, they were alright after I told them all how much they all mean to me."

Gen smiled and said, "I love you too."

"I love you Gen and your amazing children," she came over and gave me a hug. 

Vicki looked at Misha and he just rested his head on her shoulder she understood what he was saying being together for along time. She rubs his head with her hand in a soothing motion which Misha seemed to relax too. It good that Misha has Vicki and Jared has Gen for support. It's also nice seeing them together and how much they all love each other. I hope Jensen and I am like that in 10 years time and happy. Maybe with a few kids running around even though the thought terrifies me but I know he will support me and help as much as he can with filming and all. But for now we are all happy and enjoying ourselves. As I look at Gen and Jared he has her in his arms as they are suited to each other. 

Gen was like a sister to me which I never had before and it was nice I could talk to her about anything as she has the experience. It was still really new to me this relationship with Jensen and having friends as I've never had them. I know Jared, Misha, Gen and Vicki will stick with me if I needed them. I'm know I said this before but I am one lucky person to have all these amazing people in my life. 

Now I finished my first episode of Supernatural and I hope my character is will received and I get to stay on the show. But only time will tell. We have filming all week again and then we head but to Australia for the convention on the Friday for the weekend. I'm feeling a little nervous going back but I will have to do it sometime right. I also have to make an appointment to see my specialist Paul and see if I finally free of the brace. So life is going good at the moment I hope it continues. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right the next chapter might be the last in this series of When Dreams do come true and I will be continuing their story together. I hope you all will give me the same support with When Dreams do come true. I am a little sad that I'm am finishing this story as it is very dear to my heart and has mirrored my own life in parts. Plus I love writing about the Reader and J2M. I actually started to write this as a way to keep my mind off of my depression and anxiety and it's turned into so much more. 
> 
> I like to thank you all for reading my story and leaving wonderful comments and kudos. You will never know how much they mean to me as a writer. I had originally planned to end this story at chapter 6 but I couldn't let go so 34 chapters later and over a year later I have almost completed it.  
> I also never imagine that it has gotten so many people reading it. I never thought anyone would read it and then to have almost 3,000 people I am very humble that you like it and it means a lot of you that it has help you with your mental health issues. It has helped me also to write about mind in a round about sort of way. So thank you all you wonderful people. I also have made a few new friends from this story and encouraged a reader to write her own stories which she posts on Tumblr. If you wish to read any of them you can look her up @spnbaby-67 she has some amazing stories she has written and I have helped beta for her. 
> 
> So thank you and remember to Always keep Fighting. 
> 
> Secretfurrydragon.


	41. The Readers experience something she will never forget.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen, Jared, Misha take the Reader to visit the other sets of the CW shows that are filming near supernatural. Plus Jensen and the Reader watch porn and things get, will what can I say it leads to some very hot touching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jensen, Jared and Misha take the Reader to visit the other CW sets. Jensen and the Reader watch porn and they touch each other. 
> 
> Warnings: flirting, humour, fun banter, excitement, enjoyment, explicit coarse language, mutual masturbation, graphic talking about porn and sex, watching porn, graphic masturbation scene.
> 
> Sorry this chapter took me so long to write being having major health issues and haven’t been up to writing. I hope to write the last chapter soon so kept a watch out for it. I am going to rewrite chapter 6 as I think the Reader has come along way and I would like to show that in the chapter. So I hope you will all like it and enjoy reading the last chapter before I start on a new story after the convention in Melbourne. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Comments are greatly welcomed and appreciated.

It’s still a few days before we head to Australia for the convention so Jensen, Jared and Misha wanted to give me a surprise.

Jensen said, “We have a surprise for you Baby?”

I just looked at him and said, “Jay you’ve already given me so much.”

He gives me a dashing grin and pulls out a blindfold. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do Jay,” just then Jared and Misha come up before he blindfolded me.

Jared said, “Is she ready to go Jensen.”

“She will be in a minute.”

I looked at Misha and he was grinning like a cheshire cat. “What are you all up too. Do I need to be worried?”

They all laughed and Jared said, “of course it us remember.”

I gave a little nervous laugh, when Jensen said, “stop it Jared, it’s fine really nothing bad promise,” as he crosses his heart with his fingers.

“Ok, I trust you Jensen.”

He put the blindfold on me and Jared had an arm, Jensen also had one and Misha was behind me incase I tripped on anything without my crutch. Carrying my crutch for me incase I needed it.

We walked slowly as we made our way passed the supernatural studio and headed further along.

“Um, guys where are you taking me?”

“Hold on we are almost there?” Misha said.

We walked for a few more minutes when I heard Jared open the door as he guided me in. It was loud like the supernatural set but the sounds were different.

They walked me forward and Jensen grabbed my waist as I also tripped over the cords. Misha lifted me and we continued when whoever they were saw us the whole place went quiet.

Jensen leans in and whispers, “we are here Baby,” and kisses my ear.

I stand there waiting when I felt the blindfold being taken off as my eyes adjust to the light.

 

**The Arrow Set.**

 

When they finally adjusted I saw another set and there was a man standing in front of me shaking Jensen’s hand.

“So this is Y/N?” He said as he grabs my hand to kiss.

Jensen answered, “cut it out Casanova.” As he grabs my hand back and Stephen smirks at him. “yep this is her and the love of my life.”

He hit Jensen on the shoulder and said, “You dog, she’s beautiful.”

Jensen turns to me as the others are all saying hello.

“Y/N this is Stephen Amell his our best friend and stars in Arrow.”

He smiles and said, “Hi Y/N, please to meet you finally.”

“You as well. What do you mean finally?”

“Jensen didn’t want to overwhelm you with meeting everyone until you were a lot more settled.”

“Oh right. So is this your show?”

“Yes and the other actors as well. Wait until you meet the others in the other buildings?”

“What! How many buildings are there?”

“Well let’s see theses Supernatural of course, Arrow, iZombie, Flash, DC Legends, Supergirl and few more.”

“Wow and you all film here in the same place but different studios.”

“Yes we do.”

“Wow that’s awesome,” they all laughed at me and I blushed.

“Stephen and Jared and myself go way back.”

“We like pranking him as well.”

“Yes these reprobates have stopped filming on more than one occasion to the dismay of the Directors and the other actors. But it all in good fun.”

“Yeah the last one we wrote Stephen Smells on his car park outside,”Jared said.

“Yeah I still own you two for that one.”

“We waiting for it Amell,”Jared said.

“You wait when you're least expecting it Padalecki.”

I’m trying not to laugh at the playful banter going back and forward between them but it’s nice to see they that all get on so well.

Misha whispers in my ear, “See I’m not the only one they prank around here.”

I nodded my reply as Jensen turns and looks at Misha and smirks at him. Misha knew he was in trouble now and they were going to prank him again. It’s bad enough that Jared pulls his pants down while filming a scene and then he has to try not to laugh and keep it together. He also knows that he ends up laughing and they have to redo the scene until he stops messing it up.

Stephen said, “come met the other cast members,” to me. As Jensen has his arm possessively around my waist as he looks at me looking at everything with amazement. My eyes were twice the size with wonder and excitement.

Stephen leans me over to a very pretty lady with blonde as he said, “Em this is Y/N Jensen’s girlfriend.”

“Oh hi your very pretty Y/N.”

I laughed as I was just thinking that about her. She looks at me and wonders what I’m laughing at. “I was just thinking that about you also Em.”

She smiles and said, “so how long have you known Jensen?”

“A couple of months,” her eyes sparkle as she sees the ring on my finger. A

“Are you too um,” as her eyes go to the ring.

I see where she is looking as I had forgotten I had it on as I was so used of wearing it. I forget people notice it when Jensen and I mention we are together. I replied, “It’s a promise ring. Jensen promises to marry me when we are both ready.”

“It’s very pretty.”

“Thank you it’s very special to me. It has a special meaning to me also and I love it.”

“That’s good that you have it then.”

“Yes I look at it when I want to give up and think of Jensen and his promise and I keep fighting.”

“That’s amazing and I’m glad your still fighting.”

Stephen, Jensen, Jared and Misha were talking as Em and I were.

“So what happened to your knee?” Em inquiry.

“It’s a funny story actually,” when Jensen walks over.

“What’s a funny story,” he asked.

“How I hurt my knee.”

“Oh, right.”

Em was looking between us and asked, “What’s going on?”

“You see I broken her knee,” with a grin.

“Do tell Y/N?” as she saw Jensen’s grin.

“Well Jensen broke it as I was in the bath tub back in Australia and he landed on it when we fell in.”

“What, you were in the tub really?”

“Yes she was and she slipped and fell pulling me with her.”

“But why were you in the bathroom?”

“We heard a noise,” not going into any other detail.

“They opened the door and their I was in my nake glory.”

“They?”

“Jared and Misha too.”

“So they all saw you. Hang on a minute it was you they were checking on when they had that time off.”

“Yes it was.”

“I’m glad you're alright though and your knee is getting better.”

“Me too I’m glad they came and asked me to come back with them as my life has been amazing since I moved here. Falling in love with Jensen was the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

He pulls me into his arms and kisses my head and said, “me too.”

The Directo called Em and Stephen to the set as Em looks at us and smiles.

“Maybe we could catch up again sometime Y/N?”

“Sure I would like that Em very much.”

Jensen said, “we better go we held up filming for long enough.”

“Ok now where too?”

Stephen said, “I would go and see the set of the Flash with Grant.”

“Jensen can we?”

“Sure Baby.”

“Bye Stephen and Em hope to see you again soon?”

Stephen said, “yeah I would have you both over for dinner some time soon.”

Jensen said, “ok let me know when Amell. Bye buddy.”

“Bye Jensen, Y/N,” and he waved to Jared and Misha.

Jared said, “Misha and I have to head back with have scenes to do still and Bob will be pissed if we are not there soon.” As Misha gave me my crutch to use with the help of Jensen.  

“Ok Jared thank you both for the surprise it was wonderful.”

“You’re welcome Princess,” as he has gotten in the habit of giving me a on the lips.

Misha gave me a hug and squeezed my shoulder and they both left.

“So what did you think of Amell and Em?”

“She’s very beautiful and his well, um handsome and wow what a body.”

Jensen looked a little hurt before I had the chance to say, “but I know my boyfriend's body is way better and I love him.”

He growled as he took me in his arms and kissed me senseless and I love it when . he leaves me breathless as he looks at my dazed eyes as I focus on his lips and kiss him again. He breaks the kiss and said, “we better keep going otherwise you won’t get to meet everyone.”

“Ok, so we are going to meet Grant did Stephen say?”

“Yes he works on a show called The Fash and his the fastest man alive,” with a laugh.

 

**_ The Flash set.  _ **

 

I looked at him and thought what was that supposed to mean. He is being very cryptic but I guess I’m about to find out.

We look for the light to say if they are filming which but luck they weren’t. So Jensen helps me in as he is supporting me as he makes sure I don’t fall on any cables.

Grant was talking with another cast member as he spots Jensen and comes over and see what’s going on.

“Hey Jensen, what’s happening bud?”

“Hey Grant, just showing Y/N around she has just finished her first episode of Supernatural. So I wanted to show her the fastest man alive.”

“Really that’s great. Oh that it’s just the title of the show. The Flash the fastest man alive.” As I finally worked out what was going on so it’s apart of the show Grant works on. “So Jensen is showing you the other sets here I’m guessing?”

“Yeah we just came from Stephen’s set of the Arrow.”

“He’s a great guy isn’t he?”

“Yes he is as I found out Jensen and Jared prank him too. They don’t you also do they?”

He laughed as he looks at Jensen and I knew the answer. “Y/N’s my girlfriend Grant.”

Then it dawned on him, “Oh, I’m so sorry well hello Y/N. What you see in him I do wonder, you know I’m much better!” He said with a huge grin on his face.

“Watch it Gustin I know where you park your car,” with a smirk.

“Sorry Grant I love Jensen even with all his unique flaws.”

“Hey I don’t have any flaws Baby.”

I laughed as did Grant. He mumbled with a smile, “bad idea showing Y/N around.”

I move so I’m leveled with Jensen’s ear, “I love you, you're perfect Jensen and I will show you later,” with a blush to go with it.

Jensen grins and said, “I will hold you to that Baby.”

“I know you will,” Grant was looking at us and wondering what we were talking about. We didn’t need to explain as he was called to the set. Jensen and I decide to go to the next set. He looked around for a golf cart to drive to the next set as it was a long walk for me and my knee.

We found one as he asked, “so which set next Baby?”

“I don’t know which ones are there?”

“We can go to DC’s Legends or iZombie?”

“Can we do iZombie first and then DC’s after.”

“Sure beautiful this is your day.”

So we headed a long way away from the Supernatural set I never realised how big the studios were and how much filming went on here. It was interesting to see the different actors and sets so far. I wondered about iZombie obviously it’s about a Zombie but what happens in the show.

“Jensen can I ask you something?”

“Sure anything.”

“What’s iZombie about before we get there?”

“Will it’s about a woman who’s transformed by a scratch and she works at a morgue so she can eat the brains of the dead that come in. But she also works with a detective and he thinks she gets visions. The last season he found out about Zombies so she doesn’t have to hide anymore as they are a lot more zombies out in the show. Rose does amazing job playing all the different people when she eats their brains to solve their murders.”

“Sounds like a good show a bit different to yours, Stephen’s and Grant’s. I would love to meet her Jensen.”

“Sure we are here now.”

 

**_ iZombie Set _ **

 

He comes around and helps me in the studio we had to be quiet as they were filming a scene and I got to see Rose in action with a tall good looking man in a uniform and a dark haired man.

We waited patiently until the scene was finished as the Director yells cut.

Rose pulls the wig off and her hair flows down her back. She stops Jensen as she smiles I think she has a crush on him. Who wouldn’t he is incredible gorgeous.

She pulls the uniform man and the dark haired man over as well.

“Hey Jay, who’s this. Your new girl?”

“As a matter of fact yes it is.”

“Oh shit sorry.”

“It’s ok Rose this is Y/N, Y/N Rose, Rahul and Robert pointing to each one.”

“Hi please to meet you all. Jensen has told me a lot about your show and I think it sounds interesting. I like to see more if I can?”

“Of course, how long do you have Jay?” Robert asks.

“We have finished filming for today so we are free.”

“Great let’s show you around shall we,” Rahul said.

“Um Rahul can I ask where are you from?”

“London, England but my parents are Indian so I have Indian heritage which is kind of cool.”

“I was just asking as I never been to England or India and would like to know more about the them too.”

Jensen looks at Robert looking at me, “Where’s the accent from?”

“I lived in Australia until I meet Jensen, Jared and Misha and they brought me out here.”

“Yep thought it was Australia. I was there filming a movie once on Queensland beautiful place, you’ve been?”

“No, I didn’t travel much.”

“Maybe one day Jensen could take you.”

“Sounds good to me,” Jensen said.

 

Rose was looking at my knee but didn’t want to be rude by asking and I said, “it was broken in an accident in Australia,” I didn’t want to go into any more detail so Rose shook her head in understanding.

Rose said, “how about we show you the morgue set and see if there are any dead people there.”

“Sure,” Jensen watches Robert as Rahul is telling me about England and India.

I grabbed Jensen’s hand and squeezed it to let him know it was alright.

He looked down at me as he bends and said, “I love you.”

“I love you too Jay.”

We that he was fine as we toured around the set. It was a smallish set compared to the Supernatural’s sets but they really didn’t need a lot. They showed me the morgue, Liv’s apartment, Ravi’s and Major’s house, cop station and Blaine’s restaurant. It’s was incredible how much they fit into the building.

We finished with the tour as I made fast friends with Rose as she said, “Hey maybe you can come again some time.”

“I would love that thanks Rose.”

She gave me a hug and we left. “Jensen I’m getting tired can we maybe hold off the others for now.”

“Sure Baby it’s been a long day for you.”

“Thanks,” as I yawn and we got back in the cart as he drives us back to the supernatural set. I had closed my eyes for a minute as I was leaning heavily on Jensen’s shoulder. He knew I was asleep as his arm was around my back to support me incase I fell. He looks at me and kisses my forehead. He smiles as he knows I had a good day with the visits and that his friends all liked me.

We pull up at the Supernatural set when Jared and Misha came out and saw I was sound asleep.

Jared said, “long day huh.”

“Yeah I wore her out.”

“So how was everyone?” Misha asked.

“They were good, I think Amell and Gustin were flirting with her but she told them no she loved me but it was all in good fun.”

“Did she enjoy herself Jay?” Jared asked.

“Yes she loved it,” as he lifts me out of the cart and carries me to the car.

Cliff looks and smiles, “tough day?”

“We took her on a tour to the other sets and she meet almost everyone. She got tired she I brought her back here.”

“Ok, so everyone in, so we can get her home to a nice warm bed,” Clif ordered.

They all laughed at him as he does have a heart of gold with all of them.

Jared helped Jensen put me in the car and did up the seat belt as I rested on Jensen’s shoulder. He arm around my waist for support. He looks at me and he is so smitten that it’s written all over his face.

 We arrived a short time later as Jensen goes to lift me out but I open my eyes.

 “What’s happening?” I ask.

 “We are home do you want me to carry you in?”

 “No, I’m good,” as I rub my eyes as I hear Jared say, “hey sleepy head how was your day.”

 “I was good I loved meeting everyone they were all very nice.”

 Misha laughed and, “I heard that Amell and Gustin try to flirt with you?” Misha said.

 “Oh that it was nothing but fun plus Jay was there so I couldn’t take them up on their offer.”

 “Hey I sitting here you know,” Jensen said with a pout.

 We all laughed as I turned and grabbed chin and kissed his lips. I whispered, “remember my promise from early Jay.”

 He gives me a sly look with a raised eyebrow. I giggle into his shoulder as Jared, Misha and Clif were wondering what’s going on.

 “Dude, you going to let us in on it?” Jared said.

 “Nope sorry it’s between us only.”

 “Rightly so, you need some privacy!” Clif said.

 “Thanks Clif, thanks for the ride. You are one in a million.”

 “Oh shucks,” as he grins.

 He helps me out with Jensen close behind him as I give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Jared lifts me slightly in a bear hug and whispers, “have a good time if you know what I mean, wink wink,” I knew he knew what we were talking about as my whole face heats with a blush.

Misha said, “Night Y/N and Jensen,” I think they all suspected what’s going as he give me a hug also.

“Night Dude, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do?” with a laugh to follow.

“Padalecki go home to your wife and we will see you all tomorrow.”

 

As they all piled into the car Clif honked the horn as they were driving out of the driveway as Jensen lifts me off my feet and carries me inside. Luckily I had a tight hold on the crutch. We get inside and he carries me upstairs as we head to the bedroom. My room was still the preferred place we sleep as I feel more comfortable there. We had added a TV so we can watch Netflix in bed.

Jensen threw me on the bed as I scramble to move the covers as he climbs on after me. He just looks at me his eyes are the most amazing sight as he face shows he much he wants me. He licks his lips as I follow his lead and then he kisses me. It was a sensual kiss as his tongue was already out as we touched we fought for dominance as this was the first time I kissed him back with tongue. Our tongues were hot and heated as our bodies were catching up. Jensen pulls away as I’m panting from breathless.

He said, “Are you sure you want this Baby?” I looked a little apprehensive as he saw. “Ok, how about I show you how this goes?”

“What do you have in mind?”

“This,” as he flicks the tv on and searches the channels until he finds the right one.

“There,” he said.

I look hearing a lot of moaning and groaning on the screen. “Are we, um, watching porn,” I asked.

“Yes I want you to see how everything happens so you won’t be scared.”

I sat up as Jensen also sat up he held me in his arms as we watched. I watched with fascination as I’ve never seen anything like this before.

On screen there was a man and woman and they were kisses and touching each other.

Jensen explains, “it four play before the main event. This is where the man gets the woman ready for penetration. See this how she’s almost there as he uses his fingers and tongue. She’s about to orgasm.”

Sure enough she did. I wasn’t afraid of this part as we have touched each other many times in the past it was the actual penetration that frights me a bit.

“So is he going to..,” as I looked at Jensen.

“Yes, he’s going to have sex with her.”

“But his cock is huge how will it fit.”

“Women are made for men but she’s not a virgin so it’s should be easier. For you being your first time I will have to make sure you are ready for penetration.”

“Jensen will it hurt?”

“It might and it might not depends on how much I prepare you and it might hurt when I enter you. There will be a bit of blood as well. But that’s all normal it shouldn’t hurt the next time we have sex but you will be a little sore for a few days after.”

I watched as the man pushed into the women’s vagina and she moaned as he pulled out and pushed in again.

“Jay will you do that too what he is doing to her?”

“Yes but I will go a lot slower so you can adjust to the intrusion and stretch to accomodate me.”

“Ok, I know you won’t hurt me Jensen it’s looks like she is enjoying it.” The sounds of grunting and moaning going on then the man pounded her harder at her insistance until she was screaming his name as she orgasmed and he continues to pound her until he groaned as he emptied himself inside her. He kissed her as they fell down next to each other. Showing his now flaccid cock and a fucked out look on her face.

“Wow he must have been good look at them they look exhausted.”

“Sometimes when you are right for each other you make it last as long as you can. Sex can be a beautiful thing with the person you love if we take it slow.”

“Will you do that with me Jensen.”

“I will try Baby but you being a virgin and don’t want to hurt to you. I will have to get you complete relaxed before I enter you.”

“Can we watch some more Jensen?”

“Of course,” as he sifted uncomfortably on the bed. I looked down and saw Jensen was tenting in his pants. Wow he can get hard just from watching porn. I moved my hand as I brush his erection as he takes a harsh breath in.

“Jensen are you?”

“Yeah Y/N I’m hard,” as I moved my hand inside his pants and I pulled his erection out. It felt the warm and wet with pre-cum as I moved my hand down his cock like the woman on the TV I match her stroke for stroke.

Jensen was moaning and said, “oh God that feels good Baby,” his head thrown back and his eyes closed as he was panting heavily as I continued to squeeze his cock. I fondle his balls as he got even harder as he wasn’t going to last very much longer. He moved his hand down over mine as he helped me squeeze him to finish as he shouts my name and squirts in hand and over his stomach.

His face is flushed and his breathing was rapid but his eyes were looking at me with amazement as I brought him to orgasm.

“Thank you Baby, sorry this was supposed to be about you not me.”

“Hey it’s ok,” as I wipe my hand on the cloth we had by the bed. “I learnt how to give you pleasure Jay it’s wasn’t just about me. I wanted to learn about sex and this is the first step in getting it right.”

“Really your not mad.”

I laughed, “of course not, your sexy and really hot when you orgasm with my hand.”

“So your turn,” as he moved down my body the porn was still going in the background as Jensen looks up briefly at it.

He slowly puts my pants down and my panties come with them. He moves his hand to my breast as he squeezes it gently.

“I’m going to show you what I’m going to do to get you prepared for when we have sex ok Baby.”

I nodded my head as I was already wet from watching Jensen getting lost in his pleasure.

“I’m going to insert one finger tell me if this hurts you alright.”

I couldn’t say anything as Jensen saw the look on my face he lubed his finger and slowly inserted into my clit. It felt weird at first but it didn’t hurt. Jensen looked for any signs of pain but saw none as he pushed in further. I keen with pleasure as I squeezed his finger.

“Wow your really tight Baby I’m going to need to take this slow.”

“Jay oh, that feels good.”

He pulled my clit and he inserted another finger being careful not to hurt me. I moved my body as the pleasure increased. He moved them slowly as he changed the position he where he was moving them. Jensen was watching my face with each stroke in as my eyes were closed with pleasure. Yes we have done this before together but this seemed different more exciting and dirty watching porn while Jensen touched me.

“Jen, Jensen please more I’m about to…”

“I know I can feel you Baby. A little more,” as he pulls his fingers out for a second and then plunge them back in again.

He moved them faster now as my body was moving with each stroke of his fingers as my hips moved of their own accord as he held them down gently as I was writhing on the bed waiting for my release.

Jensen said in a husky but sexy voice, “cum for me Baby.”

I screamed his name as I found my release my breathing was heavy and I felt like a rag doll all limp from my orgasm. It was the best experience yet with Jensen not pushing to hard and not going to fast for me.

He climbs up onto the bed and lies next to me as my body cools he kisses me and said, “Fuck your amazing. Your going to be incredible when we make love.”

I panted out, “Your the amazing one Jay being so patient with me.”

He smiles as he hands me a glass of water as I drink most of it down in one gulp.

He laughs as I was so hot and thirsty he takes the glass from my hand and pulls the blankets up after cleaning me up with a wet cloth.

He snuggles with me as we both start to fall asleep in each other’s arms. I whisper, “thank you Jay.”

He kisses me deeply before we fall asleep. “You’re welcome Y/N.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for taking so long with this chapter but I am hoping to finish this story off soon. 
> 
> Thank you all for sticking with me through all of the Reader ups and downs with Jensen, Jared and Misha. It has meant a lot to me all the people who have left comments and kudos as I didn’t think any one would read my story which is based on part of my own life. 
> 
> I am going to pick the story up with new story with what happens after the convention in Melbourne and the Readers Birthday. So please stay with me as we continue their journey together.


	42. Sorry for not updating sooner

I wish to apologise for not updating sooner as I have been having major health issues plus I also got a hurtful comment on my fiction.

It’s the first nasty comment on this fiction I have had and it’s shaken my confidence as a writer to know that this person could write that.

If you don’t like a persons fiction then don’t read it.

I know everyone is entitled to their opinion but if you are going to leave a comment saying you don’t like it then please be nicer about it.

As a writer it took me all my time to put this up for you all to read and having other issues in my life happening as well. I am a very shy person and I also feel hurt and my anxiety builds to the point where I want to give up when theses comments come in my email box. I don’t post them on the fiction as I don’t think you all would want to read such things.

I know I’m not the greatest writer and my grammar and spelling is not always correct but this story is very dear to my heart and apart of me. To write about my life was the hardest thing I ever had to do and to share it was even harder. But I am glad I did as this fiction has helped so many of you with your mental health issues which I am grateful I was able to help you all with. 

I was actually not going to write anymore as I really can’t be a punching bag for people when I’m already down with health issues. But I’m not going to let this stand in the way of finishing a fiction you who have read it love and have given me really wonderful comments and support which I appreciate.

So I am rewriting chapter 6 when they came back to Australia for the convention. I’m completely changing that whole part of the story. I really do hope you all will like where I am going with this.

Then if you all want I will start a new story with what happens after the convention and the Reader and Jensen’s life.

I have almost written the first chapter to this story.

So let me know if you want me to continue or not. I really hope people who read any story leave kinder comments for us writers. I am writing this to let you know where I am and why I haven’t updated. I will try to update the last chapter soon I just need to build my confidence as a writer again before I can post anything. 

Thank you and sorry for the ranting.

Secretfurrydragon


	43. The Abuser rewrite.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader, Jensen, Jared, Misha and Clif head back to Australia for the convention and a few surprises happen while in Melbourne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok everyone this is the final chapter I do apologise for taking so long to post but a few things have happened. 
> 
> I have rewrote most of this chapter but some is the same as chapter six also. I wanted to show the reader has come along way and show that in this chapter. I also added a scene where Clif asks the reader a question. I thought I would added that in as she needed a father figure in her life which isn’t abusive. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it and there will be another new story posted soon. 
> 
> All comments welcome and appreciated but please be kind with the comments. 
> 
> Warnings: coarse language, remembers past abused, crying, support, Jensen being sweet.

We arrived back in Australia yes I’m a little apprehensive as this is the first time in two months I have return back to where it all started. Then I look at Jensen, Jared and Misha and I smile as I have gain so much from that first meeting. I have gain three beautiful kind men and their families, I have gain unconditional love from them and they have shown me how beautiful life can be. I have gain the most important thing ever Jensen Ackles the man who stood by me during all the pain and hurt and showed me how to love and be loved. He came into my life when I needed someone more than anything and he has stayed. You could say Jensen gave me the world and in return I gave him me.

I can tell you this the last two months haven’t been easy for me as I had to face a lot from my past but knowing I had Jensen, Jared, Misha and Clif their for support has made it a lot easier to bare. So I look around now, thinking of the good memories I have of Australia with these men. We landed in Sydney for the first of two conventions. The one in Melbourne goes for a few days more which will be nice before we head to Adelaide.

Jensen is holding my hand as he looks at me smiling. He said, “penny for your thoughts?”

“I was just thinking about the last time we were here and how far I have come.”

He smiled and kisses my head and said, “you have come a long way Baby and I’m glad I was apart of it all.”

“I am too. You all mean the world to me and I thank whoever it was who brought you into my life.”

“Well Princess it was you who brought us into your life,” Jared answered.

“Remember the messages you left for us,” Misha said.

“Yeah I know but actually coming here to Australia and making sure I was alright.”

Jensen looked and said, “I guess we all had a part in that one.”

I giggled as Jared said, “You know I think we were destiny to meet anyway one way or another.”

“Really you think that truly.”

“Sure Princess because you and Jensen belong together.”

“Yes I have to agree,” Misha piped in.

“Well I’m am truly blessed with you all in my life.”

“So are we Baby.”

“I’m glad you never gave up on me.”

“We would never give up on you Baby,” as he kisses me on the lips.

His kisses still take my breath away with how intense they can be even a peck on the lips.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure anything.”

“Can we do some sight seeing before the con tomorrow?”

“Of course Sydney is a beautiful place shall we.”

We all agreed as we looked at the tourist stuff which was good to look at as we never really got a good look last time.”

So we looked around Sydney and did the con and then flew out to Melbourne.

Jensen and I took off on our own while in Melbourne as it was the day before my birthday and we didn’t need to be at the convention until later that night. When Jensen will sing at the concert.

He took me on a drive along the Great Ocean Road. I can honestly say yes it is beautiful we stopped and looked at everything. The Twelve Apostles which apparently there are only six or seven left. But Jensen stopped along the road where there were no tourist and we looked at the ocean. It was so magnificent it really does make you feel so small with the beauty in front of you.

He looks at me taking it all in as he snaps a picture. I slap his hand as he shows me how beautiful he thinks the picture is. Then he turns me and said, “I would like to ask you something Y/N?”

“What is it Jay?” worried something was wrong.

He takes a deep breath as he pulls out a ring box and gets down on bended knee.  
He licks his lips as he takes a deep breath I’m standing there in shock and not sure what to do. My hands are shaking and my can hear the sound of my heart beating in my ears.

“Baby I know we have only known each a few months but I knew the first time I meet you, your it for me. Your the one who I want to grow old with and have children with.”

My legs are shaking as I try to stand upright but I slowly sink to the ground as Jensen laughs and kisses me.

“I wanted to give you an amazing birthday and present even though it’s tomorrow so here goes. Will you do the honour of becoming my wife now and forever.”

I had tears falling down my face as he saw my hesitation. “Don’t worry we will have a long engagement promise.”

“Jensen I’m the one who feels honor that you want me. Yes Jensen I will marry you.”

He lifts me up and kisses me I can feel how much he loves me in this kiss. He makes me hot and gives me unconditional love how can I not love him. He kisses me until we are both breathless as he pulls back and puts the beautifully crafted ring on my finger.

“I had this specially made for you. See the two diamonds and the infinity sign around it that’s us for a lifetime.”

“It’s beautiful Jensen. Boy I love you. Each and everyday that love grows more.”  
“I know I see how you look at me and I love you too.”

We stood there holding each other for what seemed like eternity as we shut the world out it was just us in that moment like time had completely stopped.

“We better get back as Jared, Misha and Clif will want to wish you an happy birthday too. As we will be to busy tomorrow to do presents.”

“Jay do they know about the engagement?”

“I think Jared has some clue not sure about Misha or Clif.”

I had to laugh as Jared was always observant but sometimes Misha misses the obvious as he is busy with other things. Clif he notices things but doesn’t say much. I wonder if he knows? He helped me back to the car as we take our time driving back to the city. Jensen had music playing as he was singing softly along. I love listening to his voice it always calms me.

“Jay did you call Paul and make an appointment after the con for me?”

“Yes I did it, while you were in the shower this morning we will take an early flight out when the con finishes as his really booked.”

“Ok, I finally get this thing off and hopefully everything is healed alright.”

“It will fine. Your knee would have healed and you will need no more surgeries.”

“I hope so I hate needles,” he had to laugh.

We arrived back at the hotel about an hour later when Jared was knocking on our door. I open it as he walks in with a gift for me.

“Hey Jared,” I said.

“Happy birthday Princess for tomorrow this is for you.”

“Really,” as I pick it up and rattle it. He notices the ring and said, “fuck I knew Ackles you did it.”

He grabbed my hand and Jensen said, “yes I’m making a honest woman of her.”

“That’s just great! I’m amazed you waited so long Ackles.”

“I thought being back here in Australia and being her birthday tomorrow it was the right time.”

“He was very romantic. He took me along the Great Ocean Road and we parked and he asked me as we watched the waves hitting the shore it was beautiful. “

“Wow Ackles never thought you for a romantic.”

“Shut up Padalecki,” with a grin.

“Can I open your present now Jared.”

“Sure you can.”

I ripped the wrapper off as I open it inside was a beautiful bracelet with my name on it. He said, “turn it over,” I did and it had engraved, “AKF.”

“I love it thank you Jared it’s beautiful.”

I hugged him and he said, “you’re welcome Princess.”

Then there was another knock this time it was Misha and Clif. “About time you both got back I was going to send my minions after you both,” Misha said with huge grin.  
He looked at me and saw I was glowing he loved seeing me happy. He pulled a present from behind his back as he hugged me.

“This is for you Y/N. Happy Birthday.”

“You really didn’t need to Misha.”

He handed me the present and I ripped it open as I looked into the box. It was another box as I ripped that open this when on for like five boxes each getting smaller each time to finally I reach the last one.

“Finally geez Misha,” he laughed.

Inside was an box. He said, “open it.”

I did apprehensively as I didn’t know what to expect from him. It was a pair of earrings to match the bracelet Jared gave me.

“Misha this is two much. I can’t accept this!”

“You can and you will.”

“Thank you Misha your the best, theses are beautiful,” as he held my hands and felt the ring.

“No you didn’t Jensen?”

Jensen looked like he didn’t know what he was talking about until Misha pulled my hand up and looked at he ring.

“You asked her that was what this morning was about.”

“Will to be honest yes I wanted to make an honest woman of her.”

“So your engaged then.”

“Yes we are Misha,” I said.

“I’m so happy for you both I wondered why you were glowing when we walked in.”

Clif cleared his throat and said, “Baby girl I have something for you too if you want it. I thought like Jensen, we make it official.” I looked at him not understanding until he pulled a big envelope from his jacket.

He handed it to me and said, “happy birthday,” he kissed my cheek.

I opened and pulled out some papers when I read legal adoption.

“What! No you, Clif you want to adopt me?”

“Yes I would like to become you Dad is that ok.”

“Is that ok,” I ran into his arms and hugged him. He smiled as a tear fell from his eye.

“I guess it is yes then Y/N.”

“I god yes. I couldn’t ask for a better Dad. You all are so amazing to me. I glad I have you all in my life.”

Jensen said, “Do I have to call you Dad now Clif.”

“Shut up Jensen,” he replied in a gruff voice. We all laughed and hugged each other this was the best birthday ever.

We spend the rest of the day of my birthday together before the con tomorrow and it was lovely they took me out for lunch and we went and saw the Eureka Towers and it felt weird when your ears popped going up the lift. It was 88 floors after all. I was a little afraid of heights and Jensen had hold of my hand so I wouldn’t feel like I’m going to fall. I walked very carefully as they laughed at me. I told them to shut up.  
There was a lot of people up there and almost immediately they were asked for autographs.

Jared dared Misha to do the Skydeck as they looked at me and I said, “nope no way.”  
So Jensen stayed with me as Jared and Misha did the Skydeck. Clif walked around near us as he made sure we were alright.

Jensen said, “you really are scared,” as I had a very tight grip on his arm. Almost bruising as he releases my hand as my knuckles had gone white. He smiles at me and gives me a quick kiss on the forehead.

“You know your safe you can’t fall.”

“Yeah but I feel like I am Jay.”

“Ok let’s sit down over here and wait for Jared and Misha.”

Clif sat with us as I lean on Jensen’s shoulder as he had his arm around me. “You having fun Y/N?” Clif asked.

“Yes I am but this is scary for me.”

“I know it will ok we will be going down soon.”

“Won’t be soon enough for me.”

“Hey Baby I was thinking maybe we should get married up here,” with a mischievous smile.

“Your kidding right,” as my heart skips a beat.

He laughs and said, “of course I’m kidding you really think I would do that when your scared.”

“No, but when you said.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Thank you Jensen.”

Jared and Misha returned as Misha was scowling and I wonder what Jared had done.

“Well how was it,” I said.

Jared said, “love it you should have - ,” he stopped when he saw me shaking my head no.

Misha said, “ it’s a lovely view but Jared pulled my pants down again,” funny think was he wasn’t angry with him he was smiling. I guess with all the pants pulling down he was probably used of it.

“Can we go and put my feet back on solid ground again.”

They all laughed as we headed for the lift not before Jared got the photos of him and Misha. He also brought me a snow globe. It was a good day but I was happy when we were down off there.

We when to get lunch and we ate it in the sunshine it was a beautiful day in Melbourne. We knew we would have to head to the convention soon so Jensen can do sound checks and we need to find out there schedules for the two days we are here. I know they were really busy tomorrow with panels and photo ops and autographs that’s why we celebrated my birthday today.

Jared was looking at me as he realises how happy I really am. He said, “you look nice when you smile Princess.”

“Thank you Jared,” I found their compliments much easier to take now and it felt good when they say something nice.

So we head over to the convention as Clif had a hire car and we arrived a short time later. We walked in a was greeted by Rob and Richard. As they took turns in hugging and wishing happy birthday.

I smiled and said, “thank you both.”

“Are you staying for sound check?” Rob asked.

Jared shook his head and said, “no we have to go find our schedules for tomorrow and the next day. Y/N your getting Jensen’s for him right?”

“Yes as Jensen will be busy here for awhile and won’t have time. Plus I need to know when to have you all here on time.”

Jensen smiles and whispers in my ear, “happy birthday Mrs Ackles.”

I giggled as Rob and Richard were wondering what was happening. I moved my hand and they spotted the ring.

Richard said, “you dog Jensen. Why didn’t you tell us?”

Jensen turned around and answered, “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Rob hugged me and said, “congratulations both of you.” I whispered a thank you to him.

Misha said, “we better go or nothing will get done.”

Jensen kissed me quickly on the lips and said, “see you soon.” I nodded as we left.

 

Jensen POV

Jensen looked at Richard and Rob and sighed a loud sigh. Rob said, “what’s wrong Jay?”

“I would like to sing Y/N her favourite song but I don’t have the music for it.”

“What is it and we can practice it now with what other song you want to do tonight.”

“No I want to sing it to her tomorrow on her actual birthday.”

“Oh ok, we can do that as well,” Rob answered.

“Great let’s get practicing then I want it to be great for the fans and for Y/N.”

“How Jensen, your always great even when you mess they love you,” Richard said.

“Yeah I guess they do enjoy my singing.”

“Why wouldn’t they Jensen.”

“Ok let’s get started,” Jensen said excited.

 

Reader’s POV

“Ok let’s go find the schedules for tomorrow shall we!” Jared said.

We walked to the green room where all our schedules were lined up to let’s us know when and where to be while doing the convention. I found Jensen’s easily but mine wasn’t there as I looked around. Jared saw the worried look on my face as raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong Y/N?” he asked.

“Um, ah I can’t find my schedule for tomorrow.”

“It will have to be here, we will look for it together,” as I held onto Jensen’s.

We looked everywhere on the table when Clif walks in holding a piece of paper.  
He turns me and said, “here’s your schedule Y/N they forgot to put it out for you.”  
I looked at it and was shocked to see I was apart of their panel.

“Hang on I’m, um apart of your panel tomorrow,” as my voice shook with fear.

Both Jared and Misha looked at my schedule and there mouths dropped.  
Misha showed he was unsure about this and said, “maybe it’s a type-o, maybe your suppose to get us here on time,” as an explanation.

Jared said, “maybe your suppose to be here but not on stage with us.”

“It’s said Y/N on stage with Jensen, Jared and Misha panel. I can’t do that I’m not really for a panel plus no one knows I’ve done an episode yet. So why would they do that?”

“I don’t know Princess, maybe ring Bob and find out?” Misha said.

“Yes maybe I should,” just then someone from the spn productions walked in.

“Y/N, I’m Karen from spn productions. You’re probably wondering why the schedule said your on stage during their panel?”

I shook my head and just looked at her as I tried to say something but the words wouldn’t come.

“I should have been here when you got your schedule I am so sorry I wasn’t but it was a request from Mr Ackles that you be on stage with them.”

“Really Jensen, why?”

“That I can’t tell you all I know he asked for you to be on stage.”

I looked at Jared, Misha, and Clif who all shrugged their shoulders with we don’t know.

“You will have to ask him,” she said, as she walks away.

“Jared do you know anything at all?”

“No, he didn’t tell us anything. Maybe he has a birthday surprise for you or maybe he just couldn’t let you out of his sight now your engaged.”

“Don’t think so Jared, maybe a birthday surprise.”

Then Misha remembered, “hey remember your suppose get our surprise remember we were going to give you one.”

“Boy that was so long ago I had totally forgot, a lot has happened since that call.”

“Maybe that’s it then, he remembered.”

“You have all given me so much I don’t need the surprise now.”

“Maybe he still wants to give it to you, you do deserve it.”

“His encourageable sometimes but I love him.”

“Yeah we know,” Jared said with a smile as he hugged me.

“What are we going to do now?” Misha asked.

We could go and rested up before tonight, “Y/N your looking a little tired.”

“Yeah it’s been a busy day I am a bit can we go back to the hotel and rest for a bit.”

“Of course we can,” Jared said as I held tightly to the schedules almost crushing them in my hand.

We all went into my room as Jared and Misha both knew I was still worried about the panel tomorrow.

Jared said, “how you doing Y/N?”

 

“I scared about the panel tomorrow.”

Jared said, "It’s fine we will have your back ok.”

Misha said, “I will, goof it up as always so you don’t have to worry.”

I laughed then and said, “ok I hope everyone will like me?”

Jared said, “sure they will love you like we do.”

I smiled and blushed as I relaxed against Jared’s arm and felt asleep. Jared turned more so I was lying in his lap as he stroked my hair. Misha said, “what was Jensen thinking to put her in a panel?”

“Maybe he wants to surprise her with a gift for her birthday,” Jared replied.

“Yes but look at her, her anxiety is getting bad what if she has a panic attack on stage?” Misha said worryingly.

“Oh god I hadn’t thought of that she hasn’t had one in a while. We will have to keep a close watch on her Misha,” Jared was worry to now as he drops his eyes to look at me sleeping.

“I know Jensen will be watching her closely so I don’t think we have to worry if she does he will have it under control,” Misha smiled as he knew how much Jensen watches out for me.

“He seems to know how to calm her best I guess theses last few months together they really have gotten to know each other. I see how much he loves her just by the way he looks at her,” with a knowing grin on his face.

“He gets this look on his face and it’s so cute it makes me smile,” Misha said.

“Me too it’s so sweet how much there in love.”

They both settled back and watched TV until they too felt asleep when Jensen comes in and sees everyone asleep. He moves over to me and kisses me lightly on the forehead as I moan in my sleep more. He laughs quietly as he moves down to my lips as I turn in Jared’s lap as Jensen’s kisses me more fully.

Jared notices I move when he opens his eyes to see Jensen’s head over mine kissing me.

“Dude I’m right here couldn’t you wait until I moved.”

“Sorry couldn’t help myself she look so adorably cute lying there I had to kiss her.”

“Dude that’s gross,” with a smile.

Jensen wakes Misha up as I get up off Jared’s lap and then I remembered about the panel.

“Jensen can I ask you something?”

“Sure Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Um, tomorrow -,” I didn’t need to finish as Jensen said, “oh you weren’t supposed to know until tomorrow I didn’t want you to have a panic attack.”

“I know now can you explain?”

“All I can say it’s a big surprise for your birthday,” as he hugs me and kisses me to reassure me everything will be fine.

Jared said, “you should have warned her Ackles she was panicking early about it.”

“I’m sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to worry you. You will be ok we all will be on stage together. I will hold your hand all through the panel and give it a little squeeze just to let you know you're alright.”

I nodded as Jared and Misha both got up and we had a group hug as Jared said, “we all will be there to support you if anything should go wrong.”

We pulled apart and Jensen said, “let’s go eat I’m starving from rehearsals.”

So we headed out as Jensen had hold of my hand and Jared was close by as was Misha. I knew I would be alright but the thought was still a bit daunting going to stage during a panel. We all went to the concert and Jensen as always was amazing when he sings he gives it 110% and the fans love it.

 

It was the first day of the convention and I was panicking on what to wear it was winter in Australia so it was cold. I put on a pair of jeans and a thick woollen jumper to kept me warm.

Jensen smiled at me as he knows I get cold very quickly. We all headed out to the convention.

I was wringing my hands nervously when Jensen grabbed both of them and turned me towards him.

He smiled and said, “Look you been through so much and you’ve gotten threw it. You will get through this also just be yourself and they will love you like I do. I shook my head in answer and he kissed me lightly on the lips and rubbed my face to calm me.

We arrived and went in the back door to the stage area. Richard and Rob were on stage talking and Jared, Jensen and Misha were getting ready for their panel. I was sitting off to the side on a chair listening. Richard introduced them and the whole place was filled with screaming fans.

They said, “Hi, thank you all for coming.”

They answered questions which the fans had asked and the one come up about me.

Jensen said, "We have a surprise for you all? But in a little while until then any questions?”

The fans asked question after question as the panel was running smoothly. I was enjoying it from the side lines when Jensen said, “well time for the surprise?”

The audience applaud as Jensen continued. “Well as you all know about our friend here in Australia and the have a surprise we have for her?” The cheers were deafening as the audience got really loud. “Well we are going to bring her out now to give her that surprise.”

Misha and Jared left the stage while Jensen was saying "come on, come back it’s so bright.”

I was sitting by the stage when Jared said, “Hang on Jen we will be there in a sec.”

I was lifted off the chair and Misha and Jared had me between them supporting me without my crutches as they brought me on stage.

“Jensen,” Jared said, “can you turn around.”

He turned towards me and a big shit eating grin was on his face. He walked over to me as Misha when back for another chair.

He held me in his arms as I was supported between Jensen and Jared this time as they lend me to the chair. I sat down and everyone cheered.

Fan called out, "Y/N how's your knee? Is it getting better? How did you break it we heard Jensen did it?"

Jensen laughed and said, "yes I did," but we didn't say anything else. Jensen handed me his mike so I could answer the question.

I said, "it's doing fine. I'm hoping to get the brace off when I see my doctor in Adelaide."

Misha steered the conversation back to the surprise and said, “Y/N do you remember the surprise we had for you when we contacted you on Facebook?”

I said, “I had totally forgot about it until I was reminded yesterday.”

Jensen laughed and said, “well here it is?”

Jared said, “Y/N you are going to Hawaii with us and being our special guest for the whole convention.”

I said, “what no it’s too much. You all have done so much for me I would like to give it to someone in the audience. Can I do that please.”

Jensen bent down and whispered we could go there for our honeymoon. I blushed and smiled at him and he was looking at me mischievously.

Misha said, “It’s your prize you can do what you want.”

Jensen said, “ok baby you choose someone?”

I said, “thank you” as I looked around the room there was a little girl sitting with another little girl. I looked at her she on threadbare clothes and her eyes were downcast. She reminded me of me I knew she was the one I wanted to have the trip. I looked at Jensen and he saw where I was looking and smiled. Jared and Misha followed my eyes and they smiled their agreement as well. Jensen went off stage and grabbed her hand. She looked up terrified and upset as he was looking at her.  
Jensen smiled and reassured her she was fine as he walks her onto the stage and quietly asked her name. She looked shy and scared as I ushered her over to me.

I said, “I know it’s scary I was scared too. You don’t need to be afraid here your safe ok.”

“I’m scared can I stay with you?”

“Sure, sweetheart what’s your name?”

“Hayley," she answered.

“That's a nice name. How did you come to be here today?”

“My best friend brought me. We watch supernatural at her house.”

“Is she here now?”

She nodded and pointed to the little girl off the side of the stage with other women.

Jensen was listening and when to grab her friend and bring her on stage as well.

“Hayley how would you like to repay your friends kindness.”

“I would but,” she stopped.

Misha came over and said, “Y/N."

“This is Hayley, Misha."

“Hi, Hayley would you like to come over to your friend?”

She stuttered, "ok, ok.”

Jensen and Jared were finding out her friend’s name when Hayley joined them.

Jared said, “everyone this is Hayley and April.”

I said, “Hayley and April how would you like to go to Hawaii and spend the weekend with these goofballs.”

Jensen looked affronted and said in a hurt voice “goofballs, hey we are amazing.”

I laughed then and Hayley and April settled more on stage.

Hayley looked at me with tears in her eyes as her friend hugged her. She came over to me and hugged me tight and said, “Thank you.”

“Your welcome sweetheart enjoy yourself.”

Jared said, “hang on Hayley and April since Y/N has picked you, you both get to be our guest for the remained of today. We will do photo ops and autographs anything you want ok.”

April said, “thank you. Mum did you hear.”

She said, “yes baby I did.”

She was standing off the side of the stage and she looked at me and mouthed a thank you towards me. I smiled in return.

I could see the kindness in this women’s heart for Hayley as she was treating her like a daughter too. I knew April will be Hayley’s friend forever.

The girls were talking to Misha as April’s Mum came over to me and said, “you don’t remember me, do you?”

I really looked at her as all the memories I wanted to forget came to the surface. She saw me visibility flinch at the memories. I saw her beating me every day in high school.

“I can’t make up for what I did to you all those years ago. I just wanted to apologise, my daughter has shown me what I did was wrong. She taught me a lesson I never was taught, tolerance for people who are different and accept them for who they are and not what they look like and kindness. She has shown me what I did to you was wrong."

Hayley has had a hard life her father is alcoholic and is very abusive towards her. My daughter who was in grade 4 at the time saw the other kids picking on Hayley so she stood up for her. She protects Hayley from the bullies. She also was strong enough to report them to the teachers and now the whole school is being re-educated about the effects of bullying.

I always wondered why you never reported us. With what we did to you.”

In a whisper, I reply “I never told anyone because I thought I deserved it all.”

Jensen saw the tear slip down my face and saw I was upset with the way I had closed my body off.

He said, “Baby you ok?”

“No, I’m not, this is one of the kids that bullied me at school. She has apologised and I know she feels bad with what she did. I can forgive her but I will never forget what you and the others did. I’m in a better place now and I have Jensen, Jared, Misha and Clif to thank for that.

“You didn’t deserve any of the treatment you got from us or your parents. I wish I was strong like April to help you instead of hurting you. I am truly sorry.”

“Thank you for your apology and I appreciated you owning up to it but like I said I can't forget what you did. Jensen, can you give her the Organisation's number so Hayley can get some help.

“Sure baby,” he hugged me briefly and I hobbled over to Jared and Misha and they both held me. I wiped the tears from my eyes and try to will the imagines out of my head.

“Ring this number and they will help you with things for Hayley.”

“Thank you. I am truly sorry.

Jensen smiled a sad smile as she will never know what Y/N has been through her whole life. So he tells her “she’s had it tough all her life and is now starting to live her life without fear of abuse. She is finally happy and is enjoying her life. You must had brought back the memories she had buried deep and all the hurt and anger she was feeling. She didn’t want to remember she is getting better but sometimes it’s just overwhelming for her. I am trying to make her life better and enjoyable. She will get through this because she is strong and well supported.”

She said, “I hope one day she can forget all that happened to her.”

“Me too it will take time and lots of love but I have enough for her as does Jared, Misha and Clif.”

“Y/N is lucky she has all of you to help her.”

“We are the lucky ones. I have to get back on stage.”

She smiled and went over to the girls and sat back down.

I was still being hugged by Jared when Jensen came over.

“Hey baby it’s ok we are here.”

He held me until I felt safe enough to leave his arms. Jared and Misha were back on stage and talking. Everyone was asking where Jensen and I was.

Misha said, “Y/N was a little upset so Jensen is comforting her they will be back out soon.”

Jensen said, “Hey look at me.” I turned my eyes towards Jensen, “you are stronger now. I know it hurts but she didn’t mean to hurt you today she just wanted to apologise. You can do this ok.”

I shook my head and he hugged me one last time and we headed back to the stage.

Jared smiled when he saw us and said, “Jensen and Y/N coming back on stage.”

I smiled as he looked so relieved that I was alright.

 

Jared said, “ since Y/N is still here on stage we have another surprise for y’all.”

I looked at him not knowing what he was talking about as Jensen had a tight hold of my hand.

Jensen said, "Will we were in Canada going through some lines for the episode. Richard you want to take over."

Richard said, "Y/N was helping Jensen, Jared and Misha with their lines. I was watching them as I was Directing the episode and I saw something in the way they all interacted with each other. Anyway I taped the scene, they were going through and I called Jensen over to come and look and he agreed."

Jensen said, "I was knocked off my feet. Y/N was a natural so Richard went and saw the producers and writers."

Jared said, "anyway to cut a long story short Y/N's has a recurring role in supernatural and is in next week’s episode. It will be YN's first ever acting in an episode of supernatural."

I was thinking about that day off stage I was running lines with Jensen, Jared and Misha one day and the Director for the episode Richard Spieght Jnr was watching us. He liked what he saw and I was given a small part which they wrote into the show. I was very nervous my first day and I stuff my lines several times until Jensen told me to look at him and not worry about the cameras. So, I did and I was always self-conscious being in front of a camera but Jensen was always in all my scenes so I just looked at him. Richard told me I was a natural and the camera loved me.

I smiled as I became part of the cast by accident and everyone seemed to like me on there. I of course played Jensen’s love interest and was a hunter as well from Australia. They had found me in a middle of a vamps nest I had killed 6 vamps and the last vamp had crippled my knee when the Winchesters found me I was on the ground nursing my knee of course as the vamp was about to kill me. Sam killed the last vamp. Dean was very impressed and he picked me up and we went to the hospital. I stayed with the Winchesters until I healed and they asked me to stay afterwards and we hunted together.

Jensen smiled and said, "give her a round of applause everyone."

I looked self conscious during the whole applause and said, "thank you I hope you like my new character."

The fan asked, "so Y/N's apart of the supernatural family now. Will Y/N be doing photos and autographs today?"

Jensen said, "it's totally up to her."

I said, "I'm not sure I’m not ready for that yet?”

The fan looked disappointed but she understood as Jensen said, “this is all new to her so give her some time. It took as a lot to get her on stage today.”

Misha looked at me and I looked so overwhelmed by it all. My head was spinning as I didn't know they were going to tell Melbourne I was in the next episode of Supernatural. Jensen looked at me and winked as I tried a half smile back.

I was glad the questions shifted from me as I moved back off stage. They answered a lot of questions as I was comfortable back stage they had ask me to stay but I told them it was their convention not mine so they let me off stage plus they knew I was uncomfortable in front of everyone.

Misha told the audience about his kids and Jensen told them about the stupid things they do on stage until one fan asked Jared about his kids.

Another fan asked Jared, “how’s your boys and baby Odette doing?”

Jared had a huge smile his face and said, “they are doing well Odette is growing and my youngest son Shep is in love?”

Jensen coughed and whispered so they just barely heard him with my girlfriend.

Misha said, “I know you all wondering about Jensen’s girlfriend you just have to hang on a bit a longer. You will get to meet her soon.”

They answered more questions when someone asked about Jensen’s girlfriend.

Jensen said, “ok, ok. Give me a minute and I will bring her out.”  
I shook my head no as I didn’t want to go out there again. Jensen whispered, “please Baby I have another surprise for you but I need you on stage to do it.”

I sighed a loud sigh as he kisses me briefly on the lips as he lends me back out on stage. I sit down in my sit that was still there when Jensen kissed me in front of everyone. When the audience oohs and ahh’s. I couldn’t help but smile into the kiss.

He said, “shh you’re not suppose, to see,” they all laughed. “This is Y/N my fiancée.”

Everyone screamed with excitement and clapped it got so loud it deafen me.

Jensen said “I have another surprise for you?”

I said, “no you’ve given me so much already.”

“We hear it’s your birthday today Y/N," Jared said.

Misha said, “we would like to celebrate it with you.”

Jensen said, "Bring out the cake please.”

Sarah and Nicole had hold of this huge cake.

I smiled with tears in my eyes.

Jensen whispered we wanted to surprise you as you’ve never celebrated your birthday before.

I laughed and he kissed me on the lips it didn’t go unnoticed by the audience.

Jared said, “ok everyone let’s sing Happy Birthday to Y/N."

I could hear them all singing to me. I was so happy and overwhelmed with love.

Jensen said after everyone had finished singing, “we have a surprise for all your good people in Melbourne?”

Jensen picked up his guitar and started playing the song he was going to sing.

He said, “baby this song is for you.”

He started singing:

I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your fantasy.

The audience started screaming and cheering and I could hear them singing the words too.

“I’ll be your hope, I’ll be your love be everything you need.

He knew this was my favourite song as I always sang it in the bath and around the house.

 

I love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do

I will be strong, I will be faithful “cause I’m counting on a new beginning

A reason for living. A deeper meaning yeah

I want to stand with you on a mountain

I want to bath with you in the sea

I want to lay like this forever

Until the sky falls down on me.

Jared and Misha were standing next to me and they both had a hand on my shoulder.

 

And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,

I’ll make a wish send it to heaven then make you want to cry.

I was I had tears flowing unbidden down my face.

The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty

That we’re surrounded by the comfort and protect of

The highest power. In the lonely hours. The tears devour you

 

I want to stand with you on a mountain,

I want to bathe with you in the sea

I want to lay like this forever,

Until the sky falls down on me.

 

Oh, can you see it baby?

You don’t have to close your eyes’ cause I’m standing right before you

 

Jensen was standing in front of me as he saw the tears rolling down my face. He winked and smiled at me and I smiled back.

 

All that you need will surely come.

I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your fantasy.

I’ll be your hope, I’ll be your love everything that you need.

I’ll love you with every breath truly madly deeply do oooo.

I want stand with you on a mountain ooo

 

Then the song died out the audience were hysterical and screaming it was so loud in the room. Everyone was applauding and clapping and he said, “thank you” as he put the guitar down.

He said, “Baby you are a lot stronger than you think with everything you have been put through. You are alive and now with us here. I love you more than I thought I could love anyone. You are my whole world Y/N.”

“I love you too Jensen and thank you for coming and saving me. I’m glad I’m apart of your lives and the love and support you all have given me I couldn’t expect anything less from you. Your my family now and always.”

He kissed me again as he lifted me to deepen the kiss as the audience were going crazy I could hear the cameras flashing around us.

I knew Nicole was in the audience filming all this but I didn’t care because I was the happiest person alive. I had the man I’ve always loved and he loved me nothing could be better than this.

Misha and Jared were happy and clapping too and knew it was meant to be. Jared knew from the moment we meant that I was going to be apart of their lives for good. He was happy that Jensen finally found his soul mate. Misha was just happy everything worked out with us and we are together.

When we finally pulled apart both breathless and looking into each other’s eyes.

I said, “dreams do come true.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for going on this journey with me, the Reader, Jensen, Jared, Misha and Clif and the rest of the cast. I found this story hard at times to write and the feelings I felt with the remembering abuse scenes. But I have gotten through it. 
> 
> I started writing this story over a year or so ago to help with my abuse I had as a child and help deal with thoses feelings. I have to admit this did help me a lot. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading my story and all your amazing comments and kudos I appreciate them more than you’ll ever know. I know I’m not the greatest of writers but knowing you identify with how and what the reader was going through helped me a lot. So until the next story it will continue on from the convention. So look out for it soon.


End file.
